How do I turn a conversation sexual if I've never had sex?

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March 8, 2019
92 upvotes

My question's already in the title.

I keep hearing and seeing people saying that to escalate you should turn conversations into sex talk, but as a virgin, I have no idea how to pull that sort of shit. What do I do?


Post Information
Title How do I turn a conversation sexual if I've never had sex?
Author burnyr
Upvotes 92
Comments 118
Date 08 March 2019 04:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/221060
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ays9iw/how_do_i_turn_a_conversation_sexual_if_ive_never/
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Comments

[–]Governor_Humphries101 points102 points  (14 children) | Copy

Make/identify double entendres. Here's an example that has worked for me.

She says something like, "Wow, spring came early this year."

Response: "Well, we've all had that problem at one time or another."

[–]burnyr[S] 24 points25 points  (11 children) | Copy

Thanks man, this helps a bit.

[–]alittletoosmooth65 points66 points  (7 children) | Copy

So, a bit more advice. This is GOLD, but before you start chucking this stuff out there in all of your conversations, make sure you calibrate to the situation. If you've worked in some kino and she's receptive and you think there might be some sexual tension, go for the sexual innuendo. Read about the "escalation ladder" if you haven't already. If you use this innuendo too early, it's like a waiter asking if you want dessert after you just finished your salad. Most people will be confused/annoyed. No I don't want a fucking cheese cake, I haven't even eaten my dinner yet. Similarly, a girl will be shocked you're implying sex when she hasn't even figured out if she likes you. This optimal time will vary from girl to girl, and you'll get the hang of it with experience. Godspeed.

[–]burnyr[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks my dude.

[–]maxofreddit6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Just to add to this, some women may not want dessert, no matter how long you sit at the table.

And to beat the metaphor to death, dessert should never be expected. That being said, if all is going in that direction, you can let her know that you’ve enjoyed dessert in the past, and would love to share one with with her. Some women, you may find during the meal that you are having a great time, but it just isn’t the kind of meal that needs a dessert. You have to see how the meal is going, and what your tastes are.

[–]alittletoosmooth15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Who hurt you?

[–]maxofreddit4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus Christ, you just literally made me laugh out loud

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K184 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always be escalating. The original comment is right. You want to throw out that sexual flirtation, so she can have an opportunity to push back. Always assume attraction, always escalate. If she's unresponsive, you know whether to consider nexting.

[–]wiffofass1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's the escalation ladder everyone keeps talking about?

[–]icecruzader21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

this is everything. Double entendres are the bread and butter of making things sexual in conversation, even if you dont push it with inflection she'll think a sexual thought. Im sure you have guy frinds you make jokes with, you can do it easily and practice makes it automatic. maybe watch a youtube video on comedy and double entendres

[–]Imtoosexyformypants12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta be careful here, attraction isn’t created through sexualizing a conversation, it amplifies it. If a chick ain’t into you, you’re going to make her feel uncomfortable...that’s how men are labeled as creeps

Hot guy with attraction says it, turn on...guys she’s not interested in...he’s a creep. No difference between words just the guy and how he says it.

Having said that, raise your smv and do this when you know girls are interested

Being a creep is only about making a girl feel uncomfortable about her sexuality. If she’s comfortable with you, you can say allot

[–]Fonzoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

one of my few creative moments was when a (male) friend said something (non-sexual) took him 5 minutes to do, to me and a female friend and I said, “that’s four and a half minutes more than I need”.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She says something like, "Wow, spring came early this year."

Response: "Well, we've all had that problem at one time or another."

:|

[–]Spurnout1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whoa, how'd your know my name was Spring?

[–]DatingTank56 points57 points  (16 children) | Copy

You absolutely don't need to talk about sex, or talk sexual, to get sex. Actually it can just as easily be counterproductive as you make the whole thing too overt and kill the sexual tension. In fact, you being inexperienced, I can guarantee that you will mess it up if you try to talk yourself to having sex. Forget that notion completely. Focus on building sexual tension with connection, prolonged eye-contact, pauses, slowed down speak and physical escalation. That other idea is a waste of time.

Is sex your current sticking point? Do you regularly get girls to a location where sex is possible, and then you stall before it gets hot and heavy?

[–]burnyr[S] 12 points13 points  (14 children) | Copy

Each time I get girls interested, when they start touching me up and shit, basically when it's on, I just fucking go full autist mode.

I basically kill the mood completely out of sheer fear/awkwardnes, I don't know.

I shoud've mentioned this, but I've never even had a girlfriend/kissed a girl.

So lately I haven't even been approaching at all. I think a girl was interested recently though, but she is/was also getting dicked by a dude from my group so that's a no no from me.

[–]Maxim_69967 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your problem isn't not knowing how to talk to girls about sex

[–]burnyr[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh granted, I have many more problems, but this was still bugging me.

[–]nhlfod219 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

|Each time I get girls interested, when they start touching me up and shit, basically when it's on, I just fucking go full autist mode.

Most likely you are going "full autist mode" when it gets to this point because a part of you is thinking "this is the only time this will ever happen in my life so I better not blow it" and of course this scarcity thinking causes you to blow it. But that thinking is not based on reality.

You said "each time" so that implies that you are pretty good at getting women to this point. That's good! Use that knowledge to build an abundance mentality. Specifically, that means if you blow your next opportunity, and the one after that too, it doesn't fucking matter because you will have plenty of other chances to try again. From abundance comes the IDGAF attitude and the IDGAF attitude is a great way to stop going full autist.

First set the goal to kiss a woman. Women love to kiss, and just because you kiss someone does not mean that they have agreed to have sex with you; they haven't. So calm down about that. It's just a kiss. You may be bad at it at first, but that's OK. It's not rocket science and you don't care if the girl likes how you kiss or not. Your first goal is to get reasonably good at kissing. You need to walk before you run.

When things go beyond kissing and start to get hotter, like the girl is obviously enjoying the kissing and open to more, and if you feel like you could be blowing things just come right out and admit it-- "Hey let me stop things for just a moment and ask for help. I'm still a virgin and I would like you to guide me through the next few steps so I can get awesome at this." (Don't ask this standing up, btw, either be sitting or lying on a bed).

You have nothing to lose by taking this approach since your current approach is not working. Plus it will be pretty obvious to her that you don't know what you're doing anyway so why not admit it? You have no shame in admitting it because you know you are awesome and you are offering her something valuable. Either she agrees and things proceed, OR she says no and you find someone else who will say yes. You don't give a fuck which way she answers because you know that some other girl will be happy to be the first. Also, if she says no remember that might just mean "not yet" so you might try for something lesser. "OK, well could I just play with your tits for a little while, they look awesome and I've never held one" then gently start touching one over the shirt. YES, you can ask questions like that and you don't really need to wait for the answer to take a small step assuming the yes. If she stops you, respect it but don't worry if she doesn't answer. No answer is a yes. Once you've touched it over the shirt a while ask "Will you take your shirt off for me?" or just pull the shirt up a bit to get access. You don't convey nervousness about her answer because you DGAF, and the fact that you DGAF makes feel comfortable saying yes. If you play with her tits for a while you should see her getting visibly hornier; in which case you can ask "so now can you help me?" or "I'd really like to see you with your pants off" or the more alpha "take your pants off". If she complies she wants to help you...

*Side note: I had a woman over my house and was giving her a bit of a backrub, and when done said my truth "wow, your tits look really awesome!" You probably can't imagine saying such a thing, but you can. Her reply? "Want to see them?" Shirt off 5 seconds later. She wanted to show them to me. It's OK to express horniness once you are sure that some initial attraction is there.

I hope this helps!

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Thanks for the reply, but when I said I go full blown autist mode, I didn't mean that I fuck up the interaction in one way or another.

I literally start acting colder when I sense their interest, because I know fully well that I'm a 23 year old virgin who never even got a kiss, and from that point on I'll only embarass myself if I keep playing, so I kinda just leave it at that.

Yes, it's a total bitch move.

To illustrate my point, I was once at a party, had this girl all over me. I wasnt too interested in her, but was drunk enough so I kinda went with it. She kept trying to escalate, and each time I was bitching out, until I go to this hotdog stand, she comes along, the guy working there asks "What will you be having?" and she replies with "I'll be having him" pointing to me. I guess she thought I was too fucking dumb to take a hint and just plainly said it right there, and that's when i made my bitch escape. Got my hotdog, left her with her friends (she was drunk as fuck) and went home. This was years ago. Like 3 or 4 years ago.

[–]DatingTank11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

You have a barrier about having sex. These can be very complicated. Then again, for many, they disappear pretty quickly as they realize sex is no big deal, it's literally as normal as breathing and eating and it's absolutely not complicated.

I won't pretend to know the exact nature of your issue, but a few pointers.

  1. Stop watching porn, you get an incredibly distorted idea about sex. If you really, really need inspiration, don't watch movies, only look at pictures of women doing nothing but looking good. Not even pictures of sex, just naked women, then imagine what you would like to do with her. If you watch porn, you get the wrong idea about how naked bodies look like, how large penises are, how much stamina a guy has, how a woman acts when turned on and the list goes on forever. Don't. Watch. Porn. It sets unrealistic expectations.
  2. Realize that you are not obliged to have sex. You can just kiss and cuddle. Don't even WORRY about sex, worry about getting your first kiss. This is like "game 101": One step at a time, focus on your current obstacle ant nothing else, one obstacle at a time. So start approaching again, but not to get sex. Start approaching again, to practice the next step in getting lots of dates, where you, for starters, can practice kissing the girl goodnight or maybe even at the start of the date.
  3. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Having sex is the closest you can be with a person and vulnerability is a big part of that (PS: She is probably just as nervous as you). When you are on your couch with a girl, and you've gotten the kiss, remember the last bullet above, and enjoy having reached your goal. Then enjoy the girl. If the kiss is awkward, that is FINE. Just keep kissing. If it's terrible, because you're nervous, smile and say "Man, I can't believe this is our first kiss... we can do better than this!" and kiss her again. The same goes for if you move to the next step. If you're nervous, there is NOTHING wrong with saying "You're so sexy. And sometimes I get a little awkward when I'm with someone that really turns me on, can we take this really slow"
  4. For very practical advice, when you find yourself touching and maybe making out with a girl, as soon as you get in your head thinking "am I doing this right", then "point out the cameras". Stop thinking. Look at the girl. Pay attention to her eyes and lips, pay attention to how she feels to touch. Enjoy what mankind has enjoyed for thousands of years. Your body knows what to do, chill the fuck out.

Forget about any bullshit you will get about being alpha. Who cares about that shit. 9 out of 10 women, who are in bed with you, ready to have sex, will NOT act negatively to you displaying a little vulnerability and openly admitting you're so turned on by her that you're a little nervous. Maybe you'll end up just making out and petting. Maybe you'll feel confident enough to have sex. Doesn't matter. If you don't have sex now, you will next time, or with the next girl. When you are ready, you are ready. You just have to trust me on this. I was a late bloomer too. Very. Late.

Point is, if you fill your head too much with what you're supposed to do, and keeping a frame and blah blah, you may be stuck for a very, very long time. On the other hand, a little vulnerability goes a long way. A lot of girls like it. Don't worry, when you get just a LITTLE confidence (which doesn't come until you have some experience) then you will soon be fucking her like a caveman.

Anyway, all that asides, I know nothing about you, and I don't have the time to read up on it. But I hope you will keep us updated, and that you get something useful from the thread. You'll get a lot of advice I hope, but at the end of the day, only you know what your current working point should be. Identify it and get cracking. I read something about you playing a lot of computer games and then getting high. Well, computergames are fun and all, but let me tell you this:

There is NO self-improvement in playing computer games

There is NO self-improvement in watching movies, series or youtube

There is NO self-improvement in TRP if you don't take 10 times a much action as you do reading and posting

and

There is NO self-improvement in getting high

All are procrastination and escape-mechanisms. And getting high more than very occasionally is the OPPOSITE of self-development.

When you're about to embark on a daily activity, ask yourself: "Are there any self-improvement in this"

A little indulgence is fine. But if you are not happy, you absolutely need to limit it and start focusing on becoming the man you want to be.

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks a lot for the great advice, there's been a lot of helpful replies in this thread that really got me thinking about some of the shit I've been doing and what I can do to change it.

I've been accumulating bad habits for too long and it's time to change it, I can only imagine how much my mental state will improve.

When it comes to updates, if there's anything worth sharing I will absolutely do so. If I bitch out and fall back to the same old behaviour though, I won't be bothering the sub anymore until I do get my shit together.

[–]DatingTank1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shaming yourself rarely help. Rather than scorning yourself from not taking the most helpful action, ask yourself what the advantages are from your current actions. Then address the cause, not the symptom. Hypothetical examples: What is the advantage of playing computer games for half a day? It protects you from unpleasant emotions of loneliness. Advantage of smoking weed? Reason to hang out with people you know always accept you for you. Advantage of posting on forums or consuming game content? A comfortable feeling that you're taking action even though you're not really. Advantage of not approaching? Protects you from potential rejection. Advantage of not kissing a girl who clearly wants to be kissed? Protecting yourself from the potential awkwardness of later having to move towards sex.

In short, don't shame of try to willpower yourself to change. Instead use introspection to find out wth is holding you back.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once again, thank you so much man

[–]hashishandbeer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're fearful, and it's killing your interactions with girls.

When girls touch you, touch back. When the tension is high, go for the kiss. It will be almost automatic from there.

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right

[–]nhlfod210 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

My point was to not worry about embarrassing yourself. Who the fuck cares if you embarrass yourself in front of some girl, there are a million more. Also I gave you specific tips on what to do so you wouldn't freeze with inaction.

As to your latest story

she replies with "I'll be having him" pointing to me. I guess she thought I was too fucking dumb to take a hint

You mean too dumb to take all her prior hints? Yea, I can see why she might have thought that. Are your standards so high that you would rather stay a virgin 4 more years than have sex with a woman who just told a hotdog vendor that she's having you? Take the hint and fuck the girl. What's the worst that can happen? Surely it couldn't have gone worse than 4 more years.... try at least.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're right, I absolutely bitched out back then.

[–]nhlfod211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t beat yourself up over it.

[–]laserdicks-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you need to WAYYYY up your practice/experience time. There is only one way to get through that barrier and it's persistence. For the love of all that is holy start with simply making out. Just get comfortable making it to that stage.

You can understand how sex works through googling it. The experience gap is just finding things once you get down to the actual process - but by that stage the talking is over.

[–]wtg29895 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Unless you're at a bar with drunk chicks most girls don't just sit down one on one with a guy ad talk about sex. Just be attractive.

[–]ayyy__18 points19 points  (12 children) | Copy

I won't answer your question but I'll give you general advice.

The most important, non bullshit, non made up crap TRP teaches you is to work on yourself, work on improving yourself, work on accepting yourself, work on loving yourself. Seriously, once you do this shit, you will stop putting women, pussy, sex and whatnot so high, you cannot reach it. This is the only tangible and real thing TRP teaches you, everything else is just opinions, pseudo philosophy, pseudo science, and what not.

People who usually have issues with sex, women and life are generaly people with very low self esteem, people with high perception about themselves, about their flaws, about their insecurities, and trust me "fake it till you make it" is bullshit. It's the most retarded shit anyone can ever say to you.

Instead, what you're going to do is, you're going to invest time and money into yourself.

You will start exercising, doesn't need to be in the gym, but just exercise, go for a jog, go for a run, go for a walk, if you have dogs go take them for a walk. Do some abs, do some pull ups and push ups, do something... Watch youtube videos about weightless exercises, body weight exercises... If you're a newbie the initial gains are insane and will make a lot of difference and will give you an insane boost in confidence.

If you're fat, you will also lose weight, this means cutting on fast food, fried food, eating all the time, eating shit, just stop it. If you're hungry drink water or a cup of tea. Don't eat because you're bored, instead, do something else.

You're going to lose enough weight to fit into nice clothes, doesn't have to be expensive clothes but nice clothes that fit well and go well. If you don't know how to dress, ask the nice ladie at the store, look for outfits you like on people and replicate them, etc. Seriously you can build a couple of nice outfits for under 100$ at H&M or whatever your cheap but still with enough crap store where you live.

You're also going to pick a hobbie besides gaming all day. Interacting with real people will stop making you an autistic fuck. Talk with the lady on the counter, when you're shopping, talk with someone at the park, bus station, taxi or uber driver, just talk. Old people are good for this because they won't judge you and they will actually listen and talk back.

Read a book, if you don't like reading, watch documentaries about shit that interest you, don't do shit you don't like otherwise it will become a chore instead of something you enjoy. Like weapons? Like war? cars? Video games? Women? just watch something about those subjects. Learn random shit.

Go travel, serioiusly stop wasting money on expendable shit, unless you can afford, then go crazy. Not only you'll meet different people you will also make yourself more attractive to others.

Stop comparing yourself to your friends or people on social media. People only post the best of the best, which gives you the idea that your life sucks in comparisson.

Also, bear in mind that all of this is going to require massive ammount of will power, and this will determine if you really want this change or not.

To end this, If you can make these changes, if you can look in the mirror and love the person you see there, women will eventually want to be around you if you expose yourself enough. You don't need to be a fucking needy fuck who falls in love with every women who makes eye contact. You just have to be confident, no need for that fake till you make it bullshit. Once you actually improve yourself you won't need to fake anything and you will attract genuine people into your life.

PS: Sex isn't that big of a deal, stop watching porn, real sex with real people has almost nothing to do with what you see, also you're going to have a hard time getting hard and cumming for the lucky lady if all you do is grab your dick with your hand because no pussy will ever be that tight and no lady will be able to spank your meat better than you.

To make sexual inuendo talk you have to at least have the IQ higher than a banana, also seuxal inuendo isn't necessary to escalate. You can go for a dance, get closer, touch, these alone are much classier and will also work if you're not dealing with whores or women with higher rotation than the ISS. Also disregard my advice if you're Brad Pitt and buff like The Rock or alternatively, a milionaire.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

I look good enough, a bit on the skinny side. I hit the gym for a bit over a year, but was losing weight and lost all motivation and quit, but I'm thinking about going back next month.

You were absolutely spot on with the low self esteem bit, but I've got good reasons to think so lowly of myself. For the last 2 or 3 years, I dont really know anymore, I've done literally nothing other than roughly this:

Wake up anywhere from 1 to 6 pm. -> play video games till dinner -> after dinner I leave home to go outside and get high with my friends -> go to bed anywhere from 5 to 7 am. repeat. every day for about the aforementioned 2 or 3 years.

Let me tell you, I'm well aware of the worthles shit stain that I am, and how whiny I sound. I've tried to improve myself, but after some time i always end up in the same place, asking the same questions. Why work on myself going to the gym, reading, doing this and that when I don't even have a job? And as soon as that thought hits my mind, I go back into videogames + get high + sleep, because as degenerate and horrible as it is, it's still confortable.

I'm trying to get myself back up, but all this self improvement stuff always feel like me running away from actually being a functioning member of society and getting a job.

Also, over the years I've developped this weird anxiety bullshit where, out of nowhere, i'll get the feeling im about to shit myself, even though I dont have to, and then i just fuckin have to go away and be alone. This completely fucked me over back in college, I was leaving class literally every 10 minutes.

[–]ayyy__3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Let me tell you this dude, you have much bigger problems than escalating with women...

My advice still stands, go get a job, keep improving yourself and stop wasting time.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

But the anxiety bullshit will fuck me over in whatever job I get.

[–]ayyy__4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You probably have some sort of IBS related desease.

Man this is way above my paygrade, I wish I could help you. Can you get proffessional help?

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think so. Each time I bring it up my parents say it's all in my head (which it is, as I never get this shit at home or when im around friends only) and i'm already enough of a leech in their lives, so it would feel horrible to have them waste even more money on me on something that may not even be fixable.

[–]ippo4ever1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

in what world can you play video games, get high with your friends, and eat enough to live without a job?

you need to man up.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I absolutely agree, but I'm not sure I'd be able to get a job and keep it at my current state.

[–]ippo4ever0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

find a job where you’ll be forced to be social, like a cashier or something. force yourself to look every customer in the eyes with a smile on your face. ask about their day, ect. basic social interactions. you’ll be over your social anxiety in no time.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't understand. I normally have no issue with this. I wasn't like this before but now I get the feeling that I'm about to literally shit myself.

If simply going to class was absolutely impossible, I can only imagine how fucked I'd be if I worked as a cashier.

[–]equilibrium571 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have a long road to walk before even thinking about getting laid. Unfortunately, I've been in your position with few exceptions.

  1. Get your ass a gym membership. No excuses.
  2. Get a job. Work at a pizza place if anything.
  3. Quit weed and taper on the video games little by little.

These should be your top 3 if you wanna improve your situation. If you never get out of your comfort zone, you'll regret it your whole life. I'm open in the DMs.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea getting a job and getting back in the gym are absolutely top priorities.

Smoking and video games will be tough to replace, but I'll work towards replacing those habits with better ones.

If im being completely honest with myself though, I'd still like to play a game with my friends every now and then and have a smoke with my buds too, I'll just have to control it.

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and will also work if you're not dealing with whores or women with higher rotation than the ISS.

Awesome lol

[–]Sad_Sleeper7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

Kino. Touching is more important than talking about sex. Lost my virginity 1 year ago at the age of 26. So i can relate.

Don't be afraid to touch her.

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

You give me so much hope. Were you also a full blown autist and degenerate like me before getting laid?

[–]Sad_Sleeper0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What's that supposed to mean, you have a bad self-image! I guess your confidence is pretty low?

Essential stuff that you have to do: Hit the gym stop fapping to porn, belive me i know what i am talking about. Read the sidebar.

Stop focusing on the pussy!!!

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. I guess i'll reread the sidebar, it's been a while since I did it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

unless you start to love yourself I doubt you will ever be able to lose virginity. Lift, suit-up and go out.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'll never understand this "love yourself" thing. Lifting, suiting up and going out all make sense though.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's what it means, appreciating your body and what you achieved and not being a whiny bitch

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's fair. I have to work towards having something to love then.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen43 points44 points  (22 children) | Copy

do you need to be a mechanic in order to talk about cars?

[–]burnyr[S] 20 points21 points  (9 children) | Copy

That was a great example you pulled, in the sense that I also don't know anything about cars.

Seriously though, each time I've seen this in action guys talk about past experiences, and I've got none.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

I'll give you another one: you can talk about food in a restaurant although you never even cooked water before.

[–]burnyr[S] 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

But that's only because I've had food before. Pussy, on the other hand, I've never had any.

[–]babybopp-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude my advice.. get a prostitute first. Someone who will not judge u.. let u explore non judgemental ask questions. Then go fuck normal gals

[–]staubgame-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I double donw on the prostitute advice.

It will take of the edge and when you get a decent one she will be sensitive and help you find your way.
Around here, there's "hobby-whores" (still professionals, but only as a side business) that are way more relaxed in terms of time.
If you pay a "real professional" for 30 minutes, then that is all you will get. Pay one of these's hobby ladies and if you're nice and all she won't look to closely. Their "boss" watches them carefully, I guess.

[–]someonesopinion69695 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't double down on that, it'll give you a shit representation of what women are attracted too. fuck a fattie or something, get some horrible experience first and then you wont be putting pussy on the pedalstal so fucking soon

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm still not sure about hookers, but ye I'm considering it.

I just wont do it for now, as I know I'm not putting any effort into getting puss because im trying to get out of this rut.

But if I feel like I can't get it any other way, sure.

[–]noPTSDformePlease0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Fake it till you make it: talk about stuff you've seen in porn but tell the story like it was you doing it. But only vanilla porn stuff, no hentai tentacles or triple gang bang shit.

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I got a feeling that would end up biting me in the ass later on. Or maybe instantly.

[–]noPTSDformePlease0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or maybe it will lead to her biting your ass later on 😚

(This is an example of how to turn conversations sexual: take what the girl says to you and twist it so it's about sex)

[–]SICFJC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He asked how . Not for a metaphor

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not helpful

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not remotely similar

[–]PIGamer86-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but you may not know what you’re talking about and come off as fake.

Still, fake it till you make it.

[–]FanaticMind-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

The real question is do you need to be vandaalen in order to be 100% useless?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Did you rage cry while writing this?

[–]FanaticMind-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Do you need to rage cry in order to say that vandaalen is an idiot?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

i mean, you don't need to, but i suppose you just had to.

[–]FanaticMind0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Exactly, you supposed. But that's just your hamster spinning in his wheel. You need to stop him.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

After you stopped mewing

[–]FanaticMind-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol mewing is a good thing idiot. I'll never stop.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

speaking of hamstering...

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never having sex doesn't stop 14 y.o. boys from turning every conversation sexual.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yea but I'd prefer to not sound like a 14 year old.

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, but that's not funny.

Bewbs. Bewbs is funny.

There's no substitute for experience, and the only way to get is to steer into the problem.

[–]someonesopinion69694 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

No one has given you actionable advice.

Apart from 'fake it till you make it' in all honesty, it's a learning process and you're not going to be a master of escalation when you haven't even fucked a girl.

I'm sure you know what being horny feels like that, work with that. sexually charge yourself and soon people with receptive, just dont be a hungry sob and you'll be good.

basically, learn to be seductive and you'll not need to turn the conversation sexual.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Ye i get that but i've just been seeing it a lot, time and time again some dude brings up fucking some girl and all the women are fucking glued to it, suddenly bringing up their own experiences being whores like its some sort of competition.

I'd like to start using that as it seems really effective

[–]someonesopinion6969-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well it's not going to happen for you if you're not fucking any other women. Stop alpha fantasizing, not everyone is set out to mindfuck women.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It didnt look like anything fancy, which is why it suprised me so much.

Dude just brings up banging some woman, and suddenly the girl is just working overtime sharing stories from the past about being a total whore, while simultaneously claiming that's all in the past and she aint as easy anymore.

It was very clear she was ready to relive some memories.

[–]Incaahhh1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The thing about being sexual is that is has to come off naturally. If you out of nowhere make stuff sexual then:

A) The girl will think youre weird B) The only girls who are receptive to this are thots (to each their own)

Physical contact can heat things up more than a conversation anyway so try to be better at reading her and casual conversations

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I got nothing against thots. In the end, they're all thots anyway.

[–]Incaahhh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Incorrect

[–]vicious_armbar 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

I’ve found an actual video of op talking about sex.

[–]burnyr[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ahah, that's exactly why I don't talk about sex. What I meant was turning conversations sexual with girls though, not with my homies I'm not trying to bang them.

[–]icecruzader0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you gotta start somehwere dude

[–]huey7641 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me so horny

[–]chubz4you1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The exact clip i thought it would be. Good work.

[–]suckisuckilongtime2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just make sure you don’t say tits feel like a bag of sand and you’ll be fine.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I always think verbal escalation is a cowardly man's kino EXCEPT if there is no ability for it. It doesn't even have to be big, a touch on the elbow is always a good start. How she responds to that gives you an indicator. If good then look for an opportunity to touch her side at or above the hip. After that you should know for sure if you're in or out.

[–]someonesopinion6969-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not really, if you can fuck a girls mind you can fuck her body too bro

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You added nothing to this.

[–]Kemuser1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your age?

[–]burnyr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

23

[–]twllll0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Read the rational male series, then read the tactical guide to woman.. get your shit together, and the girls will come, then they will turn the conversation sexual for you.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

will do

[–]throwawaybpdnpd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your questions should be:

“how do I get to have sex by turning a conversation sexual?”

[–]cilantromakesmepuke0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Tip to not be a virgin anymore and practice sex. Go to a bar, spot a cougar, grab a drink and start talking to her, anything, just normal day to day shit. When she asks you "so, what brings you here?", you just say "chilling after a long day and maybe finding someone (insert compliment) to take my virginity". Your social clumsiness will work in your favour and they seem to love this fantasy.

I know she's not going to be the ideal HB11 hot chick to compliment your SVM, but any big mountain climb starts with a little step, right?

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Do you think this would actually work? I thought this sub strongly advised agaisnt admitting to be a virgin

[–]cilantromakesmepuke0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I lost my virginity as a super shy 21yo young man to a hot 43yo, and she confessed afterwards she was so much turned on by doing this. It doesn't hurt to try, it's easier when you're not trying to hard to seem experienced, they see through you anyway.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Daamn. Thanks for the advice man

[–]cilantromakesmepuke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dunno, it may work, it may not. The more casual you say it, the better, the vibe should be of shyness, but not creepiness. I would just plant the idea and immediately change the subject, without implying an immediate feedback from her. After a while, if the general conversation works all right and she participates, then be direct, look her in the eyes and say: "shall we go?". She will say yes or not. If she says no, thank her politely and leave home. She will go home and think about what you said. Next time you see her, who knows?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fake it till you make it. This expression exist for a reason.

[–]1redhawkes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Innuendo. When she says something, turn that into sexual context.

[–]keelo440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just grab the pussy and hope for the best....wait.

[–]gbnz870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In your mind you have a scenario playing out in your head that you just rip each other clothes off and do it.

All you have to do is express those feelings to the girl but just don't just say "let's fuck" you have to be subtle and let her use her imagination.

I wouldn't memorise lines but just try and lead the conversation to sex when you see a chance to.

It takes practice to be good at it but just express whatever your mind wants.

[–]throwawa6ksjdbendkfo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you lift enough and max out your smv assuming your not deformed or autistic they will generally do the work for you. You just gotta hild frame and confident in that frame. The confidence comes from external validation. Unfortunately its a scenario of "how do i get work experience if all jobs require it" so until you have a few plates id say do your best and fake the rest. Smv + frame is basically 90% of game, the remaining is logistics. Game is kinda an ugly mans chore.

[–]Random-Bert0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go back and read the sidebar.

[–]phareux0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Go lift and when you get big enough

she will be like “wow you must work out”

Then you can be like “overhead press makes dat pussy wet” or something else like “bicep peaks makes bitches knees weak”

She’ll probably think ur an idiot but still fuck you anyway cause ur big as shit

[–]FanaticMind1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ahahahhahahhhahahahah you definitely got laid, "Over head press make that pussy wet".

[–]phareux0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao ya think

[–]assholesfinish1st-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have you ever discovered America before? Then what right do you have to talk about Leif Erikkson or Christopher Columbus?

You can talk about what you've learned, and you should also read the sidebar.

[–]burnyr[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Already read the sidebar ~2 years ago, might start reading again but i'm afraid that's just me trying to get away from actually doing shit and staying in reading instead

[–]assholesfinish1st-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Literally all of your questions are answered there. That's like 90% of questions in this sub.

[–]10points4gryffinddor-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Improvise af and follow ur own lead



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