How common is it for women to directly lie to you to get validation out of you, by going on about missing you, needing you, etc?

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March 11, 2019
96 upvotes

Since my nature as a person is to value honesty greatly, it's meant that having to bear witness to a few individual cases of women lying or exaggerating their emotions in order to get things, has essentially made me start to not trust women's emotive displays, ever (well unless the woman is an anomalous case).

But my approach in practice now seems a lot more callous and antisocial than in theory, and so I'm just wondering how much truth there really is to my question in the title, and whether I ought to relax my guard a bit.

One extra note: It actually wouldn't surprise me if I'm completely off, which is exactly why I'm asking you guys. I just happen to have an unhealthy hatred of being used, as a result of a bad upbringing, which may have contaminated my reasoning about this.


Post Information
Title How common is it for women to directly lie to you to get validation out of you, by going on about missing you, needing you, etc?
Author flatcologne
Upvotes 96
Comments 57
Date 11 March 2019 07:43 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/221542
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/azqll4/how_common_is_it_for_women_to_directly_lie_to_you/
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Comments

[–]Rav_the_slav196 points197 points  (15 children) | Copy

They don't lie. Since women are controlled by emotions, whatever they feel at the time is the universal truth. They might actually miss you, but once you give them attention they might not anymore- their emotional state changes, so does their perception of reality.

[–]BookyMcBooks112 points113 points  (7 children) | Copy

This.

I think a lot of autists on this sub think that women are coldly and logically calculating all their behavior as if they're playing some kind of advanced game of 5 dimensional chess. I don't think I really have to say it, but that's fucking stupid.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

One thing TRP really lacks is emotional intelligence.

[–]pridebrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Corey Wayne's book is a good bridge for that gap.

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

so are shit tests consciously thought of or not?

[–]DadOnDabs17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some are some aren't. Doesn't change the response you give.

[–]xddm26531 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No.

[–]flatcologne[S] 33 points34 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is some high IQ shit. This would very easily explain what I’ve seen so far that brought me to this train of thought, without have to rest on a big assumption like ‘I guess they must always lie’.

It also explains how they can go back and forth so quickly - like going from acting like they’ll just die if they don’t see you, to then withdrawing to a distance once you commit back.

Thanks, very great answer.

[–]boredathome1930 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy

Always add "at the moment" when a woman talks about her emotions. This makes you understand their feelings better.

[–]IRunYourRiver20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

I thought the added phrase was "Right now, I feel like...". As in "Right now, I feel like, until death do us part."

[–]flatcologne[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao

[–]Mickusey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like it should be an official part of a bride’s vows

[–]IRunYourRiver5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It already is. You just have to train yourself to hear it.

[–]pridebrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They might actually miss you, but once you give them attention they might not anymore

This. And on this specific topic, women always want what they can't have. When I was younger I always heard guys say this and I didn't quite get it until a woman told me it straight up. If you are unavailable, a woman's desire will typically rise because she can't have you right then and there. They aren't lying, it's just true in that moment.

[–]Eartripping12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Since no one has said it yet, what's the right way to respond to messages like these while holding frame?

[–]flatcologne[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, thanks, I did mean to ask that as well. I'll wait with you for an answer.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

“You’re cute, come over and lay with me on the couch and we’ll see what pops up.” “Yeah I miss me too sometimes”. (I need you) “perfect I’ll be there in 30, I need dinner.” Things like that have worked for me

[–]I_Dont_Type6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

“That’s cute”

[–]rambler429 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

"You wild. LOL"

[–]BluffButt5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

U wild, wyd tho

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1834 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy

'I miss you' - now, in this very moment, which may change rapidly.

'I want you here' - not for YOU, but because I need some attention.

[–]flatcologne[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah true, that seems to be exactly what I've noticed. So I'm guessing when a girl is doing this, you should respond in a way that falls short of satisfying her want of you?

[–]_new-dawn0x228 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

They manipulate CONSTANTLY, though some more than others. Just have to accept it. And it's not an unhealthy hatred. They are dishonest and they are users. Plate em and never get attached. You think they have principles like this:

" my nature as a person is to value honesty greatly"

Don't know about you but I rarely hear women express moral principles or codes like this. If they do, it's backwards feminist drivel.

[–]flatcologne[S] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hm yes that is certainly very true. I’ve noticed they tend to only hold onto things resembling principles for as long as they‘re popular or socially expedient in some way.

[–]Michael_Uchiha62 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women are far more herd oriented than men. There's a reason why most advertising is targeted towards women.

[–]flatcologne[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man, I’m not American but I’ve seen some of the Super bowl ads you guys have, and I find it almost hilarious how unsubtle the advertisers are about smothering the viewer with messages that are clearly meant to resonate with the female audience, and the ideas that they like and agree on.

It’s as if they see women as a ginormous hive mind. But judging from how effective this sort of pandering to the ideas popular amongst them is, it is probably not all that far from the truth, lol.

[–]McVaghunter18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as I'm getting my dick wet, I couldn't care any less if the girl is honest or not since AWALT.

As far as I'm concerned, honesty can only exist in an unconditional relationship, and since those ones does not exist, it means only a stranger can be totally honest to you.

[–]patacsiipse14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s very common, women are the most manipulate creatures

[–]CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really?

Or is it the men fall more easily for female manupilation?

My closest friends are men and they absolutely make better friends, but in business, sports and other fields like warfare; men are far more brutal.

[–]omega_dawg9311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

if her mouth is moving and there's no cock in it, she's lying.

women have zero impact in the physical world for their well-being and protection; so they use their mouths and their brains to manipulate to get what they want... it literally determines if they survive or not.

they're NOT going to build their own homes, fight their own battles, hunt their own food; so they must have other weaponry to get YOU to do it: pussy, lies, deceit, manipulation, etc.

you are a man... and to them, you are a tool; they view men as you view a hammer or screwdriver.

sexually, forget it. i have 3 sisters and they have lots of friends. DO NOT EVER BELIEVE ANY WOMAN'S ACCOUNTS OF HER SEXUAL PAST. NEVER.

"it didn't count," is real in her world, and most are ashamed of their sexual exploits AFTER they're over and after some time has passed. but in that moment, her feelings took her there, and guess what... it was his fault.

the name of the game is, has been, and will ALWAYS be... ATTENTION. they use their vaginas for it, they lie, deceive and manipulate for it, and they'll stab another person in the back to get more of it.

dick attention is her 'currency.'

[–]TreesLikeGodsFingers4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

made me start to not trust women's emotive displays

LMAO, swallow the pill man.

[–]GirlWithAPalette5 points6 points  (20 children) | Copy

I think women usually experience 2x the intensity and frequency of emotions in general. I can't speak for men but women, yeah. Sometimes we wanna make sure that you (men) know EXACTLY as to what we're feeling. In this process we might over explain. I guess that comes off as an exaggeration.

[–]sandal_on6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one cares what you "feel" and it doesn't create the reality. You're woman, you haven't even read the sidebar (which if you had, you wouldn't even make this comment), and getting asktrp castrated by letting females like you in and have the nerve to advice without verified knowledge, seriously, you being here is an insult to the knowledge in this community.

[–]Xerexes3869-5 points-4 points  (9 children) | Copy

Why mention that you are a woman? You won't get any points for being a girl in this sub. Be gender neutral if you want to reply. Read the sidebar. No need for a complimentary "as a woman" . Nobody cares.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nowhere did she directly mention she's a woman. Relax dude.

[–]Xerexes38694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It says right there in the comment that she is a woman. Are you replying from a parallel dimension where the comment doesn't exist?

[–]HurricaneHugues-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol dude chill. You're reaching. Its not the main focus of her argument.

[–]bakamoney4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

"We"

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're reaching and it really wasnt the point of her content

[–]GirlWithAPalette0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Right. I shall keep that in mind before replying.

[–]Nergaal-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

There are plenty of guys in the anger phase around here. Don't make yourself an easy target to them.

[–]sandal_on3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good idea that you are advising her, let's castrate asktrp like how men's right movement got castrated by letting females like her in. The guys who are in the anger phase unlike you at least recognize stupidity of repeating a mistake unlike you.

[–]Nergaal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A female that can agree to talk real read pill can be a relatively useful perspective.

[–]Crixusgannicus3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever a woman feels is true in the moment for whatever reason is a real to her and as "truthful" as the ground beneath your feet or the seat under your ass right now. Even if there's no logical or rational basis for that belief.

I know that can be hard for us guys to truly wrap our heads around but it's actually and literally true.

While some deliberately manipulate their reality and attempt to manipulate yours if you let them, very often this is happening automatically and subconsciously

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How common is it for women to directly lie to you to get validation out of you, by going on about missing you, needing you, etc?

They say this..... but they're often saying it to 20 other guys too. It's not that it's untrue, it's more that it's not the whole story.

Women lie by ommission ALL THE TIME. Like in everything they say. You can't take anything at face value. Nothing at all. Nothing is quite a lie, but nothing is quite true either.

, has essentially made me start to not trust women's emotive displays, ever

Good, because chances are it's not true.

Even that which they say that IS true..... isn't true 30 seconds later.

[–]A_Direwolf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very.

[–]sexykavu1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

extremely common. most people have it covered in the comments, but watch their actions, not their words. Their words are meaningless. They are talking to dozens upon dozens of guys simultaneously across various apps at all times. Remember that always.

You think youre the only one she messaged 'I miss you too'?

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fact is, that it seems so natural to them, that they don't even realize that they're doing it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women don't lie about missing you for validation. Women lie to protect their social status/reputation.

Generally, if a woman is lying about missing you it manifests in manipulative behavior that doesn't result in her saying she misses you. If she misses you and is lying about it, she possibly lacks emotional intelligence to understand that she misses you and will display jealous or nagging type behaviors and shit tests. "Why don't you ever call me anymore!?" "We need to talk" etc. (Starting a conversation with those two examples doesn't always mean this.)

Another result is her acting out on protecting her "reputation" because for whatever reason she has hamstered that missing you sabotages her chances of finding a mate.

Regardless, who cares what the reasons why. These are just a few examples of 500,000 reasons she does anything. She says she misses you? Tell her that you would miss yourself too.



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