What does it mean when she will refuse sex for various reasons but offer a blowjob?

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March 14, 2019

Every now and then my GF refuses sex - usually for reasons that she's either sore, tired, stuff like that but offers a blowjob instead. Should I increase dread or she has legit reasons?

Post Information
Title What does it mean when she will refuse sex for various reasons but offer a blowjob?
Author onpuzzle
Upvotes 104
Comments 87
Date 14 March 2019 11:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/221938
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b0zdf4/what_does_it_mean_when_she_will_refuse_sex_for/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread game

[–][deleted] 166 points167 points  (16 children) | Copy

Sometimes they feel “gross” or “unsexy” or they haven’t waxed in a while or they are pre-period or on their period. But as long as she’s playing your skin flute I wouldn’t worry about it.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10057 points58 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nothin like finding an expert flute player

[–]friendswithcocaine13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

A master of the flute, some would say

[–]mysticplaces2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Master of the house, doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur

[–]hazelstein15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

she’s playing your skin flute

Im stealing this lol

[–]NabroleonBonaparte8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

haven’t waxed in a while

Forest shrubbery never stopped Indiana Jones from finding the cave of secrets

they are pre-period or on their period

The only thing a period stops is a sentence

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (6 children) | Copy

The only thing a period stops is a sentence

You obviously never had a period.

[–]mrrooftops8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Or consent...

[–]NabroleonBonaparte0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy


A foolish bodily fluid joke doesn’t equate to rape.

For the sake of any person who has been sexually abused, do not make those claims lightly. It minimizes the horrible nature of the act.

Ps: believe it or not, some girls may not mind, or may even desire sex on their period

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I get it. You're on your period.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yup, you trying to earn your red wings big boy?

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No homo.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s a bingo!

[–]golgynat0r0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this cracked me up more than i thought

[–]Velebit2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf do you do to stop the gross thing. I find it silly. Maybe 'I like when ur gross'...

[–]1CR1DR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask her why she thinks she’s gross, then tell her you don’t think she’s gross for those reasons, then give it another go

[–]Granite_Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First chair!

[–]TheStumblingWolf211 points212 points  (11 children) | Copy

I would say they're probably legit reasons and that she's really into you. Do you know how many beta billies who would be in heaven if they received a blowjob every time their gf refused sex?

[–]CalmPassenger 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

Seriously. I’d rather have a blowjob any day, every time instead of sex.

[–]Yoasted7 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy


[–]CalmPassenger 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

Why? Blowjobs are better, you don’t have to do anything. You’d rather have piv sex than a blowjob?

[–]Yoasted23 points24 points  (6 children) | Copy

What? Hell yeah man. I like the feeling of being i control and her being completely submissive to my desires. I feel l ike the man when im fucking her from behind and pulling her hair while shes screamin and moaning for my dick. Getting head is great and ill do it pre sex. But nah dude, sex is definitely better.

[–]CalmPassenger 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

See for me I feel more dominant getting a blowjob because when fucking it feels like I’m pleasing her first and then coming myself second

[–]mykillclimbin9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sex is 100% better than a blowjob. Not every girl knows how to give a great blowjob first of all, second I love the emotional connection during sex that you don’t get from just a blowjob. Third it feels way better and you can completely control them and tell them to do whatever you want and call them your slut. Sex>bj

[–]look_up_there2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol what. Each to their own I guess. Blowjobs bore me after a while, and ive had some crazy head in my life. Pounding puss never gets old though

[–]wiffofass0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I read somewhere that a girl giving a man blowjob is a guy reacting to the girl basically. Girl doing stuff and guy reacting. Not masculine. Wrong energy or some shit. Especially if you are lying down. Now if you're standing up and mouth fucking her it's different I guess

[–]zboo1h0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's me, the guy standing up and using her mouth like a pussy.

I'd also like to vote for blowjob over sex most of the time. Not always, but most. Just my thang.

[–]Don_Draper271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In rare occasions, blowjobs can be slightly more favorable than sex.

For example, you have a very long and stressful day at work. Nothing negative, just lots of mental energy and focus was used. You're drained. You'd like some sort of release to help you relax and unwind, but full on rough sex requires the energy and stamina that you just can't give right now. A blowjob does the job and provides that release you desperately need.

A good face slapping, hair pulling, legs shaking, finger in the butthole, laying in a puddle of mixed sweat after sex experience is 100% always better than a blowjob though.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev108 points109 points  (7 children) | Copy

She sounds like a team player.

[–]Joeboard106 points107 points  (0 children) | Copy

Legit reasons. As long as shes blowing you, i dont see much of a problem.

[–]PilotBass37 points38 points  (13 children) | Copy

I have the opposite problem. Tons of great sex but not enough BJ. I say take the blowie as much as you can. Prolly legit reasons. Especially if she swallows.

[–]Lyxeka15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

Hey I was listening to a redpill podcast a few weeks ago and there the host gave his opinion on how to fix the no blowjob problem.

What you do, is first eat her out like you fuckin mean it. Really blow her mind, give her a great orgasm.

Right after that, roll over, dont pay anymore attention to her, jerk off, then in a really happy tone tell her how much fun you had, then get up and go watch tv or do your own thing and do not pay any more attention to her or make any other sexual advances.

It will get her hamster spinning that you had a great time but she wasnt included in the experience and she will end up making moves on you in the future.

[–]yunggoose14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

Or just shove it in her mouth in the moment of heat.

[–]Yoasted5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Lyxeka2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If the girl has a psychological problem with giving you a blowjob this move will completely shut down the sexual interaction and or cause problems.

[–]yunggoose0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It might, yes. But I would say that most of the time it will work out. I've noticed that we are the ones who suppress ourselves in the bedroom, not the other party usually.

If it doesn't work out, well... fuck it now you know.

[–]CommonFable1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is from Patrice

[–]Lyxeka0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes!! ❤

[–]___Lana___2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Stupid question maybe, but... do you take a shower before sex? Sometimes, you know,.. a full day in pants and we (because it’s the case for both males and females) smell like a bit like fish lol And if she doesn’t swallow, eat ananas.

[–]PilotBass0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There is always a shower within 8 hours previous of any possible encounter. It's what I'd want, so I do that.

[–]___Lana___0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry to say, but 8 hours is a long time... How many times do you pee in 8 hours? 3, 4 times? if my man hasn’t washed in the last hour, there is very few chance I’ll want to give him a BJ

[–]yunggoose0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I personally always wash my junk before hitting up plates and expect them to do the same.

If not, Im not gonna go down on them.

[–]Mojorisin51500 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or just do what I do, grab her by the hair and pull her to her knees.

[–]1atticusfinch197338 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she stops offering then you have a problem.

[–]maljo2450 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s a keeper. Nothing wrong with a blow job. Certainly not a consolation prize.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10022 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ha. I’d take a good bj over sex almost any day. Just lay back and get worshipped? Fuck yea

[–]kendallb18317 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Context really matters here. If shes coming from a position of I'm not turned on right now(because of your SMV) but I know if I dont do something he might leave me for a woman who will.... so I'll negotiate down the duty sex I have to give....

Or, I'm really horney but sex wont work cause I've got a yeast infection or something shes not telling you about... I'll give a blowjob instead to still have some fun.

The test to see which she is doing is the frequency this is happening. If it's been every couple of times you ask and that has been going on for over a month... yeah, unlikely it's a legitimate medical issue.. probably just not turned on by you anymore. If this is a recent development and happens Simi frequently, she may just have medical stuff going on. Trust your gut though on which it is. Dont trust your insecurity though... trust your reasonable self.

[–]Hambone_Malone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is key here.

[–]Wildlife-Solution13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

If shes offering a blowjob she is still down for you, even more so than getting fucked IMO. Sometimes women just arent in that exact mood, or a multiple of other minor hold backs. Most importantly she is still wanting to please you, and in my book thats just fine.

[–]Vikingcel3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]SkonerTM4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jealous. My gf refuses blowjob and suggests sex

[–]StopGaming12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same here. Once had a really slutty girlfriend, as in she always wanted to fuck and do the craziest shit, but she was unexperienced as hell in blowjobs. I really didn't mind as I let her have practise with me as I did other stuff.

I am just not the blowjob type of guy.

[–]___Lana___3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls sometimes have vagina issues, like soreness, can be itchy, dry, etc. Doesn’t mean she’s unhealthy, just that she’s very sensitive. Can happen because stupid reasons like shaving, stress, going to the swimming pool, wearing tight underwear, emotional state, etc. Depending on how long you have been together, she might not want to talk to you about it. (I faced this problem for a long time, and what helped me a lot were probiotics)

If it’s not because of this, maybe she’s not having as much fun as you do in bed. To me, giving a blowjob is the easiest way to end it up quickly when I don’t want to have sex. Because when you do, no need to be excited, no need to be wet, no need to remove your clothes, you just have to suck, and if you do it well, in less than 5 min it’s done. And you can even think to your shopping list while sucking.

Do you take enough time to prepare her? Do you tease her, play with her to put her in a ‘sex mood’? Find what turns her on, for example I love when He comes behind me when I am in the kitchen preparing dinner and spanks me hard while pulling my hair. Even if we don’t have sex immediately, we will for sure after dinner.

[–]SeasonedRP5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is this recent or has she always done this? If it's gone on since you two have been together, I wouldn't worry about it. If it's recent and becoming more frequent, she's fucking someone else.

[–]1rad_dynamic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just an idea, next time you're feeling tired don't have sex. Get her to start initialisation some of the times.

[–]jsphere2562 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she refuse... periodically?

[–]WindIsMyMusic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does this happen for roughly a week every month?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You won the lotto man friend.


[–]AshyBoneVR41 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It means she doesn't want to fuck because something, but she's still willing to please you. Stop other thinking it, get your dick sucked, and call it a day.

[–]lifeonlockdown1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s either on her period, or feels hairy or otherwise disgusting down there, or has rationalized that blowjobs don’t increase her body count.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i can get it if she's on her period or real tired and doesn't want to go through the cleanup etc before bed. if she's still making sure you get off i'd be happy with that.

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Increase dread lol. Come on man. Sounds like a great chick. She likes to mix it up? But you don't...Yeah some guys think it's an insult. Tell her she's a hell of a woman.

Some of my hottest fucks have been into a girls hand for instance, you can still do everything. And watching her get you off and turned on, wish this was in you you sexy bitch. How could you not like that.

I never asked for them I just let them happen.

[–]StripperWhore0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Her vagina is sore.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say: "you nasty freaky slut, you want to suck some cock?"

Oh wait, hold on it's not recording yet.

Ok, start again, "you nasty....."

[–]foss910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be more specific. What is "every now and then"? Once per month, it's probably her period. Once per week, something fishy is going on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You: "Hey babe, can you cook me steak tonight?"

Your GF: "Meh, I don't really want steak tonight, how about I cook you some nice pork ribs with homemade french fries?"

That doesn't sound bad at all. Have steak tomorrow. She's still cooking for you, that's what is important.

[–]The_Red_Choice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Blowjobs can be better then sex. I don’t see a problem. If she never wants to fuck she’s probably just really insecure. I’d say reasons are legit, just take the play and enjoy it.

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, I get blowjobs and now I’ve gotten so complacent with my goodnight blowjobs that she’s been asking me for sex because it turns her on to pleasure me....

[–]NeuroBoss310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She has a Boyfriend

[–]Liwysmd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She might be bored of your techniques? Instead of asking reddit, I suggest asking your gf. 🤷🏿‍♂️

[–]livefreeofdie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The most important question is, after blowjob she spits or swallows?

[–]mindplaybyneo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thats weird. I once met a girl she didn’t want sex cause she wants to be tight again and see other people

[–]omega_dawg93-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

she could be "Chad stretched,"... needs recovery time.

[–]v3ngi-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Flip it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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