I went nuclear with laying down dread. Now I'm confused.

Full_Ratio · 2019-03-14T16:08:39+00:00

We get what we earn.

The first 8 years you were a beta bitch.

Now you're manning up and you are getting what you want.

But that new you is a skin at the moment. You are wearing it, so the old you is still inside and mad that you didn't get what you wanted while being what society told you was the good husband. You have to let that resentment go as that is still the old you. Yeah it sucks, now shut up and get over it.

You get no retroactive points for trying one way and then the next. There is only the now and what you get now.

You've gotten your body in shape now you need to work on your mindset. If you still resent your wife for acting appropriately to how you were over the past 8 years then you're still a beta blaming the wrong person.

We don't care if you stick with her or not...but we will laugh at you if you blame her for bruising your ego with the bat you provided her with.

Please hit the sidebar material.

You can't progress as a person holding onto resentment. It'll just fester and resurface now or later with her or someone else.

Full_Ratio · 2019-03-14T16:21:23+00:00

~~she has~~ I have displayed ~~she has~~ I have the capacity to change and it breaks my heart that after all I ~~went~~ put myself through, got to the point I'm at, and even got what I finally wanted out of her that I despise every bit of her for how she reacted to my inadequate behavior.

There you go.

johneyapocalypse · 2019-03-14T15:59:49+00:00

You didn't tell mommy you got a haircut.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-03-14T18:14:35+00:00

You aren’t special faggot.

You learned the hard way, like most of us, that she will act as shitty as you let her.

KalenTheGreat · 2019-03-14T18:00:25+00:00

First thing's first... your FIRST blowjob from her?? I'm pretty sure an assessment of blowjob skills is a standard prerequisite to proposing.

As for the rest, these top comments are right. YOU created this, you can't resent her for acting appropriately. She's had no captain, and she's resented YOU for that. Now you're finally taking the wheel and she loves it. Are you mad that it was that simple? That she was being a bitch because of how you acted? Would you have felt better thinking that being a bitch was just a part of her personality and that there was nothing you could do? It seems to me that you wanted her to keep being a bitch so that you would have no guilt nexting her. But now she's being great and you don't know how to deal with all that mental preparation you did to leave.

Look at this as objectively as you possibly can: is she a good first mate, now that you deserve one? If you're going to next her, do it already, but don't blame her, man. Just accept that you fucked this one up and try again. But don't expect that any other women will be any different. AWALT. If you're a good captain, they will be great, if you lose control, they will be exactly like your wife has been the past 8 years.

BobbyPeru · 2019-03-14T18:10:22+00:00

I see absolutely no sign that you’ve done any sidebar work.

That is your key. Get to work. Like /u/Countpudyoola alluded, quit looking at her and start working on yourself.

ChokingDownRP · 2019-03-14T17:02:49+00:00

For me, and it sounds like you as well, there were 2 anger phases. The first was just reading the MRP material and realizing it was all true...that you were played by society, by your betadom, or whatever. You did everything the "right way" and still weren't living the life you wanted and felt you deserved.

The second, and more bitter, was seeing 1st hand the way my wife (and other women) acted towards me after I lost weight, added muscle and started gaming them. This is what I could've had for the past 20+ years? Did my wife suck Chad's dick this enthusiastically, then reserve blowjobs for me for special occasions? Is her behavior new to her...or only new to me (the answer is almost certainly that it's only new to me and she gobbled up Chad's cum behind the dumpster in the alley behind the club if he wanted it).

That shit burns. But you have got to accept it and move on one way or another. RP fixes the man, not the marriage. You can't fault a woman for being a woman. If you can't get past it, you have options... That's why the stay plan is the go plan.

Sounds like she's at least fucking now...but any woman will do that for a high value man. You have to figure out your next move, and it sounds like you know what you want to do...now kill the puppy and live your life.

GonzoAnalyst · 2019-03-14T20:42:32+00:00

I can totally relate to this. I’m in the same situation currently. Mine is compounded by a lot of other things ... Not your typical couple... but I am going through the same feelings.

The advice you’re getting is solid and I’m trying to own the fact that my wife acted in reflection to my behavior, but it’s still hard to swallow sometimes. I’m not sure how beta you had gone, but what I struggle with is yeah I wasn’t my best self and I had many areas for improvement, but in many ways I was always a fairly attractive, stable dude with my shit together and plenty of women would have loved a shot at me. What I don’t think we can ignore is how spoiled these modern women are.

What’s your wife’s background? I spoiled the hell out of my wife and her parents did before me. I don’t always agree that we should own the blame totally ourselves. Especially if our girls are reacting insane like resorting to violence and threats like you describe. I’ve been there. They are fucking entitled spoiled overgrown children and at some point ignoring it or amused mastery or other tactics just doesn’t cut it. I know for a fact if my wife had to go out and date and deal with being on her own for a bit or with another dude she would realize how fucking stupid she was. 90% of dudes out there are setting a low fucking bar these days. I figure go ahead and start over and go blow some dudes downtown you’ve had your eye on. Either they will pump and dump or she’ll realize how fucking boring and worthless they are pretty quick

Again not sure of exactly your dynamic I’ve read some some posts on here where these women sound very familiar. If they had limited time dating on their own or came from upper class families, some of these women are just fucking horrible and are taught to act this way by their mother’s who did the same shit.

In the end I agree with what others have said. Consider the value she brings. If its really only pussy when you’re on the top of your game daily - fuck that.

Obviously you need to lift, think, keep yourself in that DNGF mindset or you’ll end up with another just like her. Own your shit to me also includes owning when you’re done with your marriage. In the end do what’s right for you and only for you.

RedPillCoach · 2019-03-15T01:52:36+00:00

problem is I resent her. I just can not stand her anymore even through all the positive attention I'm getting from her, she will sometimes get all giddy or flirty with me and I hate it, I find it disgusting.

If only we had some experience dealing with the feelings you are feeling! (News Flash: We do!). You are not mad at your wife. You are mad are YOURSELF! Your wife changed ONLY in response to you. Now you know she would not have been an intolerable harpy all those years if you had behaved different so it is only natural and proper to blame yourself. No worries. You can forgive yourself. It just takes time.

I hate myself for it

How did I know?

because I take what I can get sexually

That is not exactly a reason to hate yourself or your wife but it confirms that you in fact hate yourself and not your wife. Think about it! You hate yourself because you are taking what you want. Definitely sounds like a personal problem!

don't love her, its all gone now.

Horse Hockey! Learn to forgive yourself and then to love yourself and the "love" for your wife will return. It will likely be a very new kind of love- one that she did not have for you and you did not have for her.

TLDR: It takes AT LEAST 1 month for every year of Blue pill marriage hell to unfuck yourself. Give it an entire year before you make any brash decisions.

screechhater · 2019-03-15T10:11:29+00:00

Here we go again, another OP leaves out info in post of tantamount proportions. Physical abuse - knife pulling

Would you really like to know the problem with knife pulling ? And that shit ? Next time you will be asleep, you got it ?

Violence in domestic situations is about control. Verbal abuse is about control. Pouring on the pussy after turning it off is the same. Don’t kid yourself This is nothing more than control, manipulation.

OP honestly needs to learn boundaries and what a healthy relationship is.

God speed

Imaginary_Historian · 2019-03-16T16:03:42+00:00

I think it's common to resent women for being women when you first swallow the pill. I.e. we get resentful that women treated us like shit when we were betaboys when we think she should appreciate us for it.

And now the tables are turned, you are swallowing the pill and it's working and she's acting how you wanted her to. Now, I think you resent her for being attracted to RP.

In other words you still resent your wife for being a woman. Just realize AWALT, it's just the way their brains work, and resentment will go away. There is nothing to be gained by being resentful. Once you truly see the world with RP eyes you don't give a shit about that stuff and just move forward and enjoy your success.

red-sfpplus · 2019-03-14T16:45:36+00:00

You are not special and your situation is not unique.

Do what I did and eject or dont.

If you know what you are worth then go and get what you are worth. Or dont.

We really dont care.

[deleted] · 2019-03-14T23:51:54+00:00

Congratulations! You've taken the first steps down the red pill path... but these guys on here are right, you are responsible ultimately for your situation. Being mad at her is like getting pissed at hornets chasing and stinging the piss out of you because you stepped on their nest. That's what they do, and that's their nature. You may be pissed now, but like these guys say, let go of the ego and look at yourself. Your woman is like the hornets in the nest, just reacting to you because of her nature.

Keep going and improving. Many (most) of us have gone and are still going through it.

Tbonesupreme · 2019-03-18T16:34:04+00:00

You resent her for not unconditionally loving your internal fat kid/beta/mangina.

NO WOMAN will love your internal fat kid, and deep down, you know you're still that guy. You are terrified that your wife knows the real you, and that you can't fool her like you will be able to fool the next girl.

Kill the internal fat kid and those feelings should subside.

mrpthrowa · 2019-03-14T17:46:09+00:00

My view?

You resent her because you can now see she is not good enough for you.

We men confuse ourselves - we don't get that one of the reasons we don't get along with certain women is because they just don't turn us on.

They are not beautiful enough, interesting enough, fuck well enough, or are just plain boring. Girl game is a thing.

And we think they don't click with us because we're either not gaming them well enough or because of something else.

Fuck that, my experience: with the right girl, who has the right game, my game is on point.

With a boring girl, or with my ex-shrew, I just could. not. give. a. fuck.

Literally. They don't turn me on. I thought my ex was pretty, I don't know whether it's her age, or whether it's the hormones when I was young, or whatever, fact is, she's ugly now and when I left her and I could not have given a fuck even though I tried.

I remember vividly one night where I walked out on her while she was naked on the bed seductively massaging her tits.

I get a pretty girl and my raging hormones literally rip her clothes off and drill her

So, it's ok, find someone you'll give a fuck about, you'll be motivated to give that fuck. Don't sell yourself short.

And you'll ENJOY IT.

donmcde · 2019-03-15T13:43:29+00:00

I can relate to the resentment when you suddenly realize you can do and want better than the woman you're currently wait. Your anger will subside, but your feelings for her will never return to what they were when you were trying to please her. When you factor in her pulling a fucking knife on you, you need to dump the bitch (you should've done it right after that incident imo).

You stayed because you were a bitch and you're still too much of a bitch to leave her just yet. Keep improving relentlessly. Use her like the fuckhole she is while you plan your exit - the stay plan is the go plan. Just don't be stupid enough to get her pregnant while you do this.

Cascadesrising · 2019-03-15T16:25:55+00:00

Going against the grain here, but I'm sorry, your wife sounds like a cunt at her core. Did you exacerbate her cuntiness by turning into a fat beta bitch faggot? Yes. But that's no reason for anyone to heap physical or mental abuse on anyone else. All this bullshit about her extreme nasty, abusive, behavior being your fault is nonsense. If she was a fundamentally good person, her reaction to your BP beta bitch ass would look quite different. She still wouldn't fuck you. She would still show frustration and lack of respect, but she wouldn't be a total BPD twat. If your description of her is accurate, and that's big if, she's a cunt. Yes, you are improving and she's responding, but If you ever get injured, or sick, or weakened, or backslide in any way, and she senses weakness, she will go right back to being the cunt she is. That's not the kind of partner a person needs. It sounds to me like your intuition knows this.

Aechzen · 2019-03-17T14:30:36+00:00

Don't get me wrong I'm not a cheater nor will I ever cheat

Ok, then divorce. Get it over with. The grass is really greener, bro.

Nice post in general. I'm not surprised all the dread and unfucking yourself worked, but usually, guys who at long last get their wives to follow them enjoy it.

I would personally vote that you keep your wife blowjobs and you also play elsewhere, but that's just how I do it.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2019-03-14T16:40:16+00:00

You may get many comments to tell you some version of “hang in there.”, or “you just think you’re ready but you’re not”. But ultimately if you’ve changed so much that you realize you married this woman as a Blue pill different person, and now this marriage completely doesn’t do it for you on all your important levels (eg do you have kids together??, do you like at least some key things about her, does she add net value to your life ?) then indeed it may be time to abort. Go at it in next stage of your life as the new, improved version of you. Including new relationships. It indeed can be life-changing.

Staying with her would be like wearing an old coat that just doesn’t fit you anymore and is totally out of style.

If kids, decision is harder.

If no kids, you should probably call a lawyer as soon as you close the Reddit app on your smartphone.

Good luck.

screechhater · 2019-03-15T00:37:37+00:00

Full Radio perhaps is a masculine man now that has value ?

Why the fuck was she such a cunty bitch in the past ?

Resentment ?

What do now ?? Pedal to the metal.

Still fuckkng hate her ?? Even after some time ? Ghost that cunt.

BurnedRemains · 2019-03-14T17:31:52+00:00

Stop hating yourself and do what you feel like doing. Let the guilt go. In fact, let all you negative emotion go. The only use for it is fuel and even then after it is burned you need to transform it into positivity.

[deleted] · 2019-03-14T18:26:38+00:00

Get a divorce you fag.

Title	I went nuclear with laying down dread. Now I'm confused.
Author	Full_Ratio
Upvotes	26
Comments	50
Date	March 14, 2019 3:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/b11lls/i_went_nuclear_with_laying_down_dread_now_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-went-nuclear-with-laying-down-dread-now-im.221957 https://theredarchive.com/post/221957