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First Date: Girl Gave Out Number In Front Of Me

Reddit View
March 19, 2019
196 upvotes

Met this girl after matching with her and spontaneously deciding to meet up that night. She was from out of town and visiting for work and we ended up meeting at an expensive sit-down (which I was fine with). Things were going well and I was having a blast - I had her laughing and inching closer to me even across the table.

Near the end of dinner, some 40 year old guy (we are both 27) sent over drinks, which I thought was hilarious and brushed off. She mentioned that she was going to go to the bathroom but also that she wanted to say thank you, and she stopped at the guy's table on the way. They talked for a minute and I saw her turn away and type her number into this phone. Later she came back and mentioned that she was in consulting so there was a lot she could learn from him - I didn't bring it up. (For better or for worse) I was quiet the rest of the date, we paid, and I ended it 5 minutes later.

She texted me immediately after: Are you interested to keep talking? I had a great time but felt like the mood changed the last 5 minutes.

Me: I had a blast and actually thought there was a connection. I saw you turn away and put your number in his phone. Wishing you all the best

Her: Yeah I thought I made that clear when I said I thought I could learn from him. Plus, he's so much older I definitely am not interested in him. Didn't mean to turn around I guess I didn't want to give you the wrong impression which I clearly did. Ok you too

Please be brutal


Post Information
Title First Date: Girl Gave Out Number In Front Of Me
Author whatdowewantFIRE
Upvotes 196
Comments 248
Date 19 March 2019 07:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/222525
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b2udx0/first_date_girl_gave_out_number_in_front_of_me/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]Blazerman_24427 points428 points  (56 children) | Copy

I have to disagree with a lot that's being said here. Taking another man's number while she's on a date with you is blatant disrespect. You can be honest with yourself here. It didn't sit well with you because it was a shitty move on her part. You are not beta for being put off by that.

If it were me, I'd calmly end the date and lose her number. Women aren't stupid, she had to have known that entertaining that dude was outta pocket.

There's a difference between not being phased by shit test and just flat out being disrespected.

[–]RedLegendx209 points210 points  (4 children) | Copy

I was starting to lose hope with this sub, thank god there’s men with actual brains in here.

[–]PaganButterChurner37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

to add to blazerman's comment. This chick reeks of being a sugar baby.

[–]sexykavu15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

yeah, your personal honor and self respect is more important than sex. If more men called this shit out and hard nexted, women would maybe learn something.

[–]RedLegendx17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s autistic as fuck when guys come on here and declare all the disrespect a bitch throws at them as a “shit test” no motherfucker she’s disrespecting your ass IN YOUR FACE. Toss the bitch, THATS having abundance. I’d much rather toss a “potential” plate than toss my dignity and respect. Fuck. That.

[–]eddee_d11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol dude ikr

[–]Yashugan0043 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

this, in my book, she's now confirmed casual plate level, unable to rise. you call her once a month for a hook up and leave after

[–]AwakenedSovereign85 points86 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah there's just a ton of PUA retards floating around this sub and real life, contorting themselves into ridiculous situations just to "get it in".

They fail to see that they are putting pussy on the pedestal. All hail the pussy. Any cost necessary for pussy, including tolerating disrespect like in the OP.

I don't get it. I'd probably get laid more if I acted like that - and I don't care. I get laid enough and can still respect myself in the morning.

Of course that attitude also rocks the boat and sends tidal wave of tingles, but no, you should swallow her bullshit and ask for seconds with a smile. LOL

A big thing these guys also never see is the Unquestionable Submission of a female who is hungry to jump inside your frame and on your cock.

Women don't get to that place with men they can treat like punching bags. It's sort of a trade. The more choosy you are the fewer pussies you might jump in, but the better that pussy is going to act, the wetter it's going to be and the more it's going to cum for you.

I'd rather get laid once in a month and have it be a great lay worth a slot on the highlight reel than to fuck 5 bitches who are Meh at best and leave that ashy, why did I bother with this aftertaste.

Coincidentally the category of women who are Super Into You are also the best armcandy, so you can't even argue that preselection from such women is worth it when they are acting like this and disrespecting you in public.

But I guess the thirst is real. "Doesn't matter got laid" etc.

[–]Blazerman_2430 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

This right here ☝️

A guy who is used to getting pussy knows that submission has way higher value.

[–]professor_mcamateur-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

compare and contrast: submission vs forgiveness?

Christianity vs Islam?

or is that not applicable here

[–]ProFriendZoner26 points27 points  (14 children) | Copy

Not only did she know what she was doing, she didn't give a shit. She felt that she could do this to him with no repercussions. She sees him as beta.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

First thing when he said "expensive sit-down" on a FIRST date showed me all I need to know. Even though here said "we paid" I have a feeling it is HE paid for both of them.

[–]TopOccasion291 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Most likely true but woman can do it to anyone...alpha beta etc.

[–]satellite7794 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not without repercussions

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She understood she nearly lost him. But his repercussions fell to the wayside.

He could have said sure let's see each other again but somewhere far quieter.

Just too gauge her a little.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The likelihood is much less with a HV man. She labeled him as LV for w/e reason so she just went full bitch mode. You gotta look at someone as total trash or be total trash to pull a move like that.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, don’t take it personal...just smile and ghost her. Who cares what she thinks, clearly she doesn’t think much of him but that shouldn’t matter. Complete waste of time to even post about her, just move on to next and enjoy life

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed

[–]ProFriendZoner0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A woman wouldn't do that to an alpha

[–]TopOccasion293 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A woman would do it to anyone...it just that the likelihood of her doing it to an alpha will be much less.

A woman disobeyed God himself Lol...she'll do it to anyone. Women test every man...she just does it to alphamen less.

[–]LordMarkStark-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Though I think this, he can still get a beta fuck from her. He went silent and ended it. She liked the beta. Then she came to him.

So far so ok... Haha. He went a little alpha so if he keeps it up...

No one is fully either side he just needs to stay out of beta a bit better with her. It's harder now sure but she still likes him. OP should proceed but make sure he does not get used for his time, connections and company too much.

[–]RedLegendx0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Validational sex >>>>>>>> Transational sex

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed

[–]SeasonedRP22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

I too was losing hope with the answers I was seeing. I don't know how on earth anyone could think the OP was mate guarding or that this was a shit test, and also can't imagine any self-respecting man tolerating this. She may as well have invited the other guy to home with them. OP handled it fine.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stunned by the ignorant responses chastising OP. He answered appropriately.

[–]resnine-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

His text was shit. Otherwise yea.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

^ This.

Oh, and there's a lot her vagina could learn from his cock.

[–]SniXSniPe24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Taking another man's number while she's on a date with you is blatant disrespect

Women aren't stupid, she had to have known that entertaining that dude was outta pocket.

100% agreed and well written.

My only hope from this is OP didn't pay the entire check.

[–]An_Actual_Politician6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

OP was disrespected by the 40 year old dude, too.

What's the perfect way to handle some creeper buying you and your casual date a round of drinks?

I'd flat out refuse them and ignore him but don't know what conventional TRP wisdom says. If he approaches butthurt at the refusal (which I would expect) I would tell him that I'm going to ask him once politely to fuck off.

[–]BrodinsOats3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think accepting the drinks with amused mastery would be good. Don’t be threatened, and watch her reaction to judge how you should treat her (plate only? Etc)

But I would also be mighty tempted to send them back

[–]SnowBastardThrowaway2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's the perfect way to handle some creeper buying you and your casual date a round of drinks?

Send him a round of broccoli if he is out of shape :P

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP could've turned the tide by grabbing her and spanking her in the car saying she's a bad girl for giving the dude attention. But things were clear when he lost frame when she did that. Girls sense that (as she did). Letting the bitch go is a 7/10 move (better than bring forced into a beta orbiter zone). But a better move: I would've stayed cool, continued to joke with her, and then when we have a private moment, bent her over, spanked her yelling at her "who's your real daddy?"

Source: one of those 40 year old dudes

[–]blacwidonsfw4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree with this but also can see the top comments point. This would just not sit well with me and I wouldn't want to waste my time with a girl that acts like this, I got better ppl and better things to do

[–]Blazerman_2414 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right. Look if she wants to sleep with 100 other men, idc, just respect my time when I'm taking you out.

[–]blacwidonsfw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

☝️

[–]kendallb1834 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You litterally watched hypergamy at work, and the hamster rationalization after, and a little shame/guilt trip "you missed out on getting laid" when he didnt buy it. What a clear cut example. If she did this in front of you, imagine what she would have done behind your back. Unless you were gonna plate her, then what ever... A&A, amused mastery her and make it a joke like you dont give a fuck... because she clearly showed all she cares about is getting laid, why would you care any more than that yourself?

[–]papunigga0312 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

it depends what you’re looking for. I have a certain preference in women that I expect them to meet. If just looking to smash, brushing it off would have been the best choice.

[–]baeslick2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are people seriously saying this shit is okay

Checks comments section

Jesus fucking Christ.

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, agree with me. I actually got some girls number the other night in about 10 min while/after this other dude had been talking to her the entire night. You should've seen his face kind've like a look of humiliation. Anyway definitely a power move & making clear that she's not your territory.

[–]Protocol_Apollo1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Curious... not sure where I exactly sit on this. This wasn’t a run of the mil shit test by any means... this was DEFINITELY disrespect. However, I suppose the question is how would one punish her. You could just dump the bitch right then and there. Or you could treat it like a shit test- I.e ignore it, tease her for trying to hook up with old guys etc and punish her later by either relegating her to low plate status FOREVER/ pumping and dumping her for one night and ghosting her without any remorse/guilt (since she disrespected you) and obviously without telling her how you felt about what she did

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good thinking. He could've responded better. Copying from my response to another comment before I saw yours:

OP could've turned the tide by grabbing her and spanking her in the car saying she's a bad girl for giving the dude attention. But things were clear when he lost frame when she did that. Girls sense that (as she did). Letting the bitch go is a 7/10 move (better than bring forced into a beta orbiter zone). But a better move: I would've stayed cool, continued to joke with her, and then when we have a private moment, bent her over, spanked her yelling at her "who's your real daddy?"

Source: one of those 40 year old dudes

[–]BiasedBavarian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the point of witnessing the fuckery, he should’ve politely excused himself from the date by paying for HIS portion of the date, and getting the hell out of there.

[–]sexykavu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, i'd maybe allow her to come over and fuck me after that, but i'd be wary of doing anything with her in general. I dunno, I think it's perfectly fine to hard next on this one, even hooking up with her might be too much validation if she disrespects you that hard.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (9 children) | Copy

gonna say fuck that. tolerating the disrespect and continuing to invest your time and energy into this girl is what someone operating from a scarcity mindset would do. the fact that she "turned away" to get his number removes the plausible deniability that she was oblivious to the disrespect. she knew it and attempted to conceal it. i would've abruptly ended the date and never talked to her again. id rather get no pussy than tolerate cunt behavior in order to get some. its not a loss because you didn't get any pussy. to have rewarded a disrespectful cunt with your dick after the disrespect would be the true loss imo.

[–]antariusz7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

The other dude started the disrespect, beta billy OP didn’t do anything about it. Girl liked the new guy more.

He stepped in and demonstrated that he’s better than the OP, fearlessly picking up a girl while she’s on a date, of course she’d be interested.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Judging from his text-game, OP is beta af. 40 year old guy detected that and took his shot. Prolly fucking her now.

[–]yuktone124 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Meh thats a stretch. Hed be beta for caring. Some guy sends over drinks - laugh off that this random dude did this weird shit and enjoy your free drink

Now if he bought just her a drink...

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Exactly. What you do it this. When the waiter brings the drinks say thanks. Stand up. Say- who bought these drinks? And look around the room. Take the two drinks to him and say- here you go. These are yours. With a smile and looking him dead in his eyes. And then return to your table.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ya but in order to do this ya gotta be going to the gym, learn good posture and be calm as fuck

I feel like I’m finally there and man it feels good to be able to step up in an intimidating way while being friendly and classy.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice. I’ve finally reached that point too. A lot of people are intimidated by me. I’m small though.

[–]liror1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not sure about it. in situations like this I like to use the good old "what brad pitt would do" and the answer is pretty clear on that: he would not be intimated by the other guy for even a tiny second, just say thank you for the free drinks and continue to have fun with his girl.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doing it right in front of his face is much more disrespectful. We need to stop being hypocrites here. If he was confident enough, it wouldn't have bothered him and if he dicked her down right, she'd have been begging him to keep giving it up. Girls will learn where your boundaries are and keep from crossing them if they want you. My old fwb loved the dick so much, she learned what to do and what not to do. This guy needs some NMMNG. Open communication instead of being pissy and keeping it inside would have completely fixed the mood. And the disrespect.

[–]RedLegendx108 points109 points  (7 children) | Copy

That was kinda disrespectful, she blatantly showed you her hypergamous nature. Actions > Words my man, she saw that guy with the same or higher value than you.

If you want to plate her the next date should be at your place, she doesn’t deserve to be taken out in public, just use her for sex.

Edit: “she could learn from him.” lol that’s hilarious, what is she learning from a 40 y/o man? How to ride cock better? I mean he has so much more experience fucking, no? Haha women...

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don’t keep a girl with worthless character around for sex. Your dick deserves quality too.

[–]HastaPronto906 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bang such a girl one time and never contact her again, no texting, nothing. Teach her a lesson.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I could go for that. As long as she doesn’t know where I live. Her place.

[–]RedLegendx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Aye man, I’m with you but it depends if there’s a drought or not lol

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

80/20, most guys are going through a drought.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you got outgamed by a 40yo, you're not in a spot to be pulling girls in the first place. Honestly, he shouldn't have got butthurt and just took her home that night and just made her a booty call.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop taking sluts to expensive sit-downs

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy

She's a tinder slut who acted the way tinder sluts act.

If that bothers you, don't date tinder sluts. Imo you didn't do anything wrong here other than explain yourself to her - you're entitled to have boundaries, but I would recommend you adjust your expectations.

Whores gonna whore. That's just the way it is. If that bothers you, stop using tinder.

[–]Moldy_Gecko1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The thing is she learned. It's his getting butthurt that ruined it, over text no less. Pussy move. Girls may be AWALT, but for the time they want your dick, they learn your boundaries. Personally, this situation wouldn't have bothered me, it bothered him. How the fuck is she supposed to know if he didn't tell her when she sat back down rather than bitch out about saying something to her face and instead texting.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How the fuck is she supposed to know if he didn't tell her when she sat back down rather than bitch out about saying something to her face and instead texting.

It's not his job to train a whore.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who said she's a whore?

[–]3chazthundergut11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

You failed the shit out of her shit test.

She even baited you with the "I had a great time but felt like the mood changed the last 5 minutes" ... she knew exactly what she was doing and how you were feeling about it, but she wanted to hear confirmation of your insecurity from your own mouth

She wanted you to get jealous. She wanted you to see her give her number to some thirsty 40-year old, and she wanted to see how you would react.

Yes, it was blatant disrespect. She is out on a date with you. She should not be giving her number to other guys. But to me, this is a perfect situation. Now you can play the game with her and be completely heartless and cold without any feelings of guilt. No need to get butthurt and end things after such a good first date. Instead, keep her around for sex, knowing that you'll never upgrade her to GF and you'll never feel bad for using such a basic bitch.

Also here is an important rule of thumb for men:

Whenever a chick does something that gets a reaction out of you, never tell her about it. Never explain your feelings or try to get her to take responsibility for her actions. Even if she crosses the line and you end things, never explain why

[–]TopOccasion292 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever a chick does something that gets a reaction out of you, never tell her about it. Never explain your feelings or try to get her to take responsibility for her actions. Even if she crosses the line and you end things, never explain why

Yup closure is bullshit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Whenever a chick does something that gets a reaction out of you, never tell her about it. Never explain your feelings or try to get her to take responsibility for her actions. Even if she crosses the line and you end things, never explain why

Word

[–]LordMarkStark-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

He should have said to that: yeah don't worry about it, we'll make it way better next time.

[–]SeamusAwl10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn people! Why are soo many upset at her disrespect when we should be bitch slapping the beta out of the OP.

She was a tinderella from out of town. She was looking for two things. Fill her belly and fill her vagina. Clearly the OP was only there to fill her belly. She knew it and that is why she had no issue giving the 40 year old her number to fill the other. Her reply to the OP’s butthurt text clearly showed she got what she was after from OP and waited for the 40 year old to text her for her room number. That 40 year old brilliantly out played the OP. Probably noticed the OP was beta as fuck and barely giving her excitement. OP probably didnt notice the two exchanging glances. And the coup de gras was the buying a drink for the OP and the tinderella. That was an alpha move, not unlike what some of the more experienced ECs would have pulled.

Hey u/whatdowewantFIRE you need to do better at faking an alpha or you will never become one. She smelled your thirstiness from across tinder and used you for a meal. Then you got out played by a 40 year old, who tapped that tinderella, and it only cost him a drink for you and a drink for her.

[–]Rkingpin179 points180 points  (55 children) | Copy

I can't believe you're basically mate guarding a tinder girl

Jesus Christ you're acting like she's your LTR.

All you had to do was tease her for it

"naughty girl. Look at you picking up grandpas" or simply ignore what she did.

You really shouldn't give a fuck. Stop acting like girls from online are LTR material.

I mean shit you have a serious scarcity mindset. Now instead of closing the deal and punishing her pussy here you are empty handed.

EDIT: Loads of guys are replying to me about disrespect

I agree she showed disrespect and OP obviously has to improve his frame because there's a reason she gave in to her hypergamy in front of him.

But at the end of the day, SHE texted him first after the date so interest is clearly still there.

Therefore there is no harm in OP telling her to come over for " insert plausibly deniability"

The key is making sure the next move is low investment but still leading easily to a smash.

[–]Blazerman_2453 points54 points  (7 children) | Copy

Or he can have a little self respect and ghost that girl for responding to obvious advances by some guy while they are on a date. It has nothing to do with mate guarding. As far as I'm concerned, if she's that intrigued by the guy, he can have her.

Scarcity mindset is putting up with that shit, abundance mindset is realizing that there are millions of women out there that won't try to pull another man's number while she's out with you.

[–]the13thmonk12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Word. There is no real recovery here. Just a next imo or a very low plate status

[–]Thinkingard1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro, this was a tinder match he had who was from out of town. Drinks later in the night and then close the deal. I think he pedestalized the girl and gave her way too much value. If he really didn't give a fuck about her and just wanted to get laid, then there was no need to next her for her actions because a less than 5 minute conversation and a number is meaningless in game. If she were a local girl and he was seriously considering making her his girlfriend, then sure, go ahead and next her, but after least getting laid and doing more research.

[–]Blazerman_247 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Does he need her pussy that badly? Again man u gotta remember, High Value. Be the guy that gets enough pussy that he doesn't have to take shit like that. Obviously he felt disrespected. It may not bother you and that's fine.

Think about it like this... he's a key, she a lock. A key that can open any lock is a master key. A lock that opens to any key is useless. Should he lose his dignity over a useless lock?

[–]Thinkingard4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

It sounds like it was addressed when they were still eating, when she mentioned she thought the guy was a potential business contact. That's a reasonable excuse, and since he doesn't know this girl, he can either accept her at her word and drop it and have fun and get laid, or, if he thinks it's a red flag and disrespectful/rude/undignified/2nd-date violation, or whatever, then he should address it right then and there and then leave if he feels so inclined. Not leave the confrontation of it to a text message, that speaks of his own value being so low he couldn't address it on the date, instead he was passive-aggressive and moped and ruined the vibe he had created.

[–]Blazerman_240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, address it right there.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is fucking exactly right.

[–]PimPedOutGeeese0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I kinda agree with you and RPKing there.

On one hand its disrespectful...

On the other hand why do I care? She'll only ever be a plate.

What's the difference? You have sex with your plates and what they do doesn't matter. If I'm looking for just sex why not screw her then left old man have her?

Now if you're looking for a LTR then that's a whole different ball game.

[–]whatdowewantFIRE[S] 71 points72 points  (30 children) | Copy

All you had to do was tease her for it

"naughty girl. Look at you picking up grandpas" or simply ignore what she did.

This is the winner. Thanks for the wisdom. Just getting out of a LTR, need to brush up.

I wonder if plating her is salvageable with some variation of the above

[–]dickcomments17 points18 points  (8 children) | Copy

She gave you the ultimate shit test and you failed. Never take that disrespect.

And, as a 40 something "grandpa", hate to break it to you. There are advantages that we have over younger men at times. The same can be said in reverse, however, I have found that older men win out over younger more than not.

It's the young bull vs old bull mentality.

[–]rdotskip2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

How would you pass

[–]AscensionExperiments2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

The same way all other shit tests get passed- treat her the same you would if you had a snotty five-year-old getting pissed at you. Don't take her seriously

[–]rdotskip0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah, I meant this one specifically because he said this was the “ultimate shit-test”. Have any examples?

[–]AscensionExperiments4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think he considers it the ultimate shit-test because it's literally "whatcha gonna do about it if I let you see your competition", pitting man against man at the behest of the woman.

Remove your mental obligation to rise to the woman's challenge, and her test falls apart. I believe the comment above our conversation used the line "Ooh hunting the grey foxes are you?" or something like that. Show her that her actions don't affect you. Just tease her, in this case

[–]rdotskip2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotcha. That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the detailed response man. Appreciate it.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He posted one. 'Naughty girl, hitting on grandpas now?' Or some dgaf attitude about it.

[–]rdotskip0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that’s a good one for sure

[–]Moldy_Gecko-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

30 somethings, sure, 40 somethings is just getting into old territory.

[–]Rkingpin17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy

Too late to tease her now. It should have been done in the moment, that way she'd see you're not insecure.

Next date invite her over to your place and smash her good

[–]cafeitalia35 points36 points  (6 children) | Copy

She will not come. The 40 year old will be smashing her instead.

[–]SeamusAwl30 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy

Smashed her. She was on tinder and from “out of town”. She wasted no time in getting the OP to buy her a meal and went after the 40 year old, who showed no fear in ordering drinks for both of them. She probably fucks a guy or two every time she travels. Or at the very least, gets them to buy her a meal and drinks. Good chance she has a guy/beta provider at home as well.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10014 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

[–]jadensmithsson3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sad. I hope all is well with you man.

[–]SeamusAwl3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not the OP. I am good.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She probably has a boyfriend back home.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Yes.

[–]thatbadrogue23 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

you're joking right? you can't plate a fork. She wants silver foxes, you're too young. There's something about older men that attract beautiful women that NO ONE will EVER understand. It is what it is, but when you replied with what you did I think you made a decent impression words wise. It's salvageable if you really want it to be, but he had NO way of knowing what her profession was, just like she had NO way he was in "consulting". He has money, she wants it. Next her, because you can do better.

[–]Yashugan003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's pretty simple to understand: she's standing at the finish line and picks a winner. beats standing at the starting line and not knowing if your pick will even finish the race

[–]jon94 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You’re either 1. A bitter old dude or 2. A bitter young dude. Not sure which but you should probably take whatever meds you were prescribed.

[–]thatbadrogue20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yikes

[–]AscensionExperiments0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good that you can admit it. Breaking out of LTR "comfortable" mentality can take some time. Keep practicing

[–]mrheh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should've sent the drinks back and walked over to him and asked why he sent you drinks. That is high-level disrespect sending drinks to someone on a date.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You burned that bridge.

[–]LordMarkStark-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

No. Just no. You can't get by in life or with girls just by cracking jokes. It's funny but it's transparent. There's many variables yes but via inaction you lower both yourself and herself.

If I am unsure about a girl I make sure joke because it's not important yet, and predate.

But you're better off leaving as my other post, the situation until terms of engagement improve.

I do that with tinder girls, unproven, who cares. But you still need to plan your exit, and instead of joking passively/aggressive, DO something like rolling your eyes. Tell her to get in touch with you once she has a shower. Call her out on it. So what you think you have a chance with me now after that?

Strongly advance the play. No passive aggression. A small joke can take the sting out of it but move away from humor as your only tactic. It's submissive.

But if you think of her as any more, it's done for now.

If you believe her, because you wasted the rest of the night basically, that's your choice. In this case it's tricky because she stole the play but she may be being honest. In that case you must get back to how you were, keep your eyes peeled but don't sook to her. Leave it alone for now and act normal. In such a case just forget about it. My only reservation is why she needed his number. It's NOT like he gave her his.

That would have been worse. My balanced opinion is it's nothing to worry about if she wants to see you. But it went downhill at messages, you have to alpha climb now. She saw weakness but is giving you benefit of doubt or it's no concern to her since she understands how odd it was. This is good, then. Use it to your advantage if you want to see her again by moving past it. Don't let some old guy slow you down.

Just remember he gave her drinks and she gave the number. It's suss as hell. Don't make her your gf or anything and don't do dinner again or anything big. She'll get the picture.

Just remember my other post. I would have dumped her ass. 100%. You should have told her it was suss and you don't give a fuck what she said. Why weren't you angry??

New story, making pizza with my girl and she says an older guy at work and her talk like father and daughter. Guess what. I let her finish making the pizza. Jack up, dude. In the next 20 mins I changed her mind about things, but I before long dumped her anyway. Or maybe I cheated.

You want to know what she said????

"Lordmarkstark I deserved that, I'm not in my best mindset" essentially. Then gave excuses.

Girl gave me excuses the other day too. They're excuses my friend, for past or future actions

Look at it like that. Anything she's not doing right. This is why I'm crack with so many but not all girls ever. It's what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

[–]Garathon6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Are you ok dude?

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah I think I know what you're on about. I'm trying to get him laid but really it's not about what I'm on about. Though it is perspective. It's going to be lesser sex anyway after that.

It's only going to be lowering yourself to consider this girl beyond the point of minimal effort. I'll make that clear. Her blatant lack of investment deserves the same. He wants permission to validate her and her actions

Silent treatment was invalidating. He's in two minds or overlapping intentions. Making a situation where she has to make it up to him is what I'm on about.

[–]RedLegendx31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

This isn’t mate guarding man, she’s out on a date, they’re not hanging out as friends. She’s grabbing another man’s number while on a date, that’s the same shit as her being on her phone disregarding your ass, she disregarded this guy over grabbing the man’s number.

Personally I would have ignored and just proceeded to invite her to my place on the second date just to fuck her brains out and ghost her ass for the next week and half, and that’s if after I fucked her I still felt like plating her, if not I would have tossed her to the curb.

[–]BakedJersey33643 points44 points  (7 children) | Copy

This is nonsense. This is not mate guarding. What she did is straight up disrespect. This sub has gone to shit with dumb advice like this getting updated. Yeah, op should just ignore blatant disrespect. Get the fuck outta here.

No RP guy should tolerate blatant disrespect like that. Op did the right thing.

[–]mabden12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

No RP guy should tolerate blatant disrespect like that

Having dinner with chick (all good.)

Guy sends drinks to table (props for a DGAF attitude.)

Chick goes over to thank him (thanks = phone number.)

Pure hypergamy on display (at your expense.)

Gives bullshit excuse that she can learn from him (did/could not know before or after a minute.)

Maybe she was DTF (disrespect has negative effects.)

Missed out on some pussy (self esteem intact.)

[–]Jay_x_Playboy23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some of the dudes on this sub are so sex obsessed they’re willing to put up with blatant disrespect if it means maybe getting some tail. Blows my mind.

She’s lucky OP didn’t just leave the date as soon as she gave that guy her number. I know I would’ve.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

An Irish Exit

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Dude, you been here a day? This is exactly about frame and exactly the good kind of advice that used to come from this sub. It's actually all you new guys that think you know what's going on without having a clue.

[–]BakedJersey3360 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve been here about a decade. You are wrong.

This is the type of advice young men with no abundance give. The type of guys that will tolerate blatant disrespect just for the CHANCE of getting some pussy. Stop putting pussy on a pedestal. That’s exactly what this guy is advocating.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, the subreddit hasn't even been here a decade. No, this is the type of advice that confident guys give. Only little bitches get upset over something like that. It was a first date, she doesn't know the boundaries yet. He could have laid the pipe and then forgot about her, or kept her as a plate. If you lay them right, they'll learn and respect your boundaries. It's not about a pedestal. The dude fucked up taking her to a fancy sit down in the first place. This guy was just not confident enough to keep frame. All these guys copping out saying they "left cuz disrespect" and what not. No, they were just being little bitches. He should have told her right there, but instead bitched out and texted her like a little girl.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This response is ignorant. No mate guarding occurred. OP maintained his frame and cut her out of it where she was undeserving.

Read the side bar.

[–]thrwy754795 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Absolutely.

visiting for work and we ended up meeting at an expensive sit-down

40 year old guy (we are both 27) sent over drinks

And, this is the reason she got that number. The odds of that guy being loaded, and well-connected are high. She had the work mindset the whole time she was there. She's a hustler, and it's just plain smart on her part.

When you're outclassed by someone, the last thing you want to do is get angry or be bitter about it.

In this case, you don't know about the guy but perhaps you could've known if you called the guy over to your table and played it cool. That's the most regretful part of this scenario, you missed a connection with what may be a high value person. Who cares about some random chick.

Check out David Spade bowing out when Jack Nicholson blatantly picked up Lara Flynn Boyle (his gf at the time) right in front of him.

[–]PimPedOutGeeese0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

you missed a connection with what may be a high value person...

I get this...

Check out David Spade bowing out when Jack Nicholson blatantly picked up Lara Flynn Boyle (his gf at the time) right in front of him

Mmm... Not sure about the point you're making here. According to the article Spade lost frame when he basically belittled himself. Even if she was eventually going to branch swing, which off course she was, he didn't make the decision in her brain any easier.

He just gave up and accepted "fate".

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

he basically belittled himself

He didn't. He acknowledged the fact that Nicholson is a bigger fish than him. This had nothing to do with the girl, it was a compliment to Nicholson. It also puts the pressure on Nicholson because then he has to live up to that. He better be good at chatting up the girl, which, evidently, seems to be the case.

Think about what would happen if the guy was just some random schmuck, and he did the same thing. Spade and his girl would probably tool the guy, and then have a good laugh about it afterwards.

Even if she was eventually going to branch swing, which off course she was

This is the key. When Nicholson hit on her, it was too late to do anything about it because he's already planted the idea in her head. At this point, it doesn't matter what Spade does. He knew this, and didn't lie down, but instead moved the pressure off himself.

he didn't make the decision in her brain any easier

So let's see here: he's buddied up with Nicholson, he's removed the pressure from himself, and he's placed it squarely on Boyle by stating it's her decision to be faithful or not. From my perspective, Spade handled this masterfully, and it shows why he's been with several hot girls.

He knows the nature of women, but especially of hot women. He also knows he's not a model, and within celebrity circles, he's not the most accomplished of all actors. It doesn't mean he thinks less of himself, but he's humble enough to know when he's been "outranked". He's not going to qualify himself or fight for the girl because both of those are weak behaviours, and why would he leave? He's in Jack Nicholson's company. Note that this is different from defending a girl who's obviously being harassed by someone she told to fuck off.

With hot women, you can't do anything else, especially if they also have status, which Boyle does. The hotter she is, the more options she has with guys with high SMV. Unless you lock her up, you really cannot prevent her from leaving. All you can do is be grateful for the time she shared with you, show your friends, take some pictures together. And, when the time comes, which is inevitable, you let her decide whether to leave or not. Point is, the onus is on her.

Anecdotally, I have met several well-off people and what I noticed with a lot of them is that they had ugly wives. I mean, far below the physical looks of the guys. It was confusing at first, and eventually it made sense. If you want a peaceful family life, you don't marry the hot ones, you marry the one you like. Does this mean she has to be ugly? No, it simply means you'll be more at peace if she is, and specifically because there's less competition.

Unless you know with absolute certainty she can't do better than you for whatever reasons, then beautiful girls are just meant for fun for most people.

This is further supported by the following quote from an article in The Guardian about the world's richest:

"I was actually told by one client not to bring my wife on a trip to Monaco unless I wanted to see her get hit on by 10 guys. The local sport, he said, was picking up other men’s wives."

[–]illusiveab2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always find this dynamic to be the hardest to understand in pretty much all dating: hard boundaries (red flags) vs DGAF. It seems like most advocate DGAF until LTR then hard boundaries but that seems kind of ignorant.

Any sorting advice would be appreciated.

[–]TehJimmyy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said bro , sounded like an easy lay.

[–]Moldy_Gecko-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what has happened to this sub. Your post is exactly like the beginning posts of TRP and closest to TRP ideology. However, the most voted post atm is taking it out of the guys frame and putting it on the girls. Disrespect, blah blah blah. Women will be women. Up your frame, determine if she's a plate, ONS, or LTR, then keep up the work. All this, she disrespected me, so I left bullshit is just showing obviously lack of frame. This fucking sub is sinking.

[–]1walawalawa21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing right up to this exchange:

Me: I had a blast and actually thought there was a connection. I saw you turn away and put your number in his phone. Wishing you all the best

Better:

Me: Hey, good luck

Her: blah blah blah etc etc etc

I had a similar situation which I handled very differently. Girl I met on OKC and BANGED first night I met her suddenly went cool. Coincidentally I nearly bumped into her walking down the street---with another guy. This was 3 days after she blew me in a back alley after we played pool and hung out.

She saw me and turned white. I kept on walking. Suddenly she started texting, calling (who does that??) WhatsApp....basically every known form of instant communication available.

She wanted to talk. She was confused. She understood why i'd be upset. etc etc. I ignored her for 5 days. Then texted:
"So, how you gonna make it up to me?"

Her: What do you want me to do?
Me: Come over, make pasta

We began banging again immediately. But I plated her. I was banging 3 others at the time. When she suddenly wanted to boyfriend me she had another text meltdown.

I ignored that and never spoke to her again.

See what I did there? See how by ignoring her right after her guilt-ridden ping text if yo had ignored her you could have turned this around, banged her and then ghosted her?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Didn't mean to turn around I guess I didn't want to give you the wrong impression which I clearly did

Yeah, so it was intentional. If it was so innocent, why turn away? She knows it looks bad, and it is.

You're right to ditch - handing out her number on a date with you shows a clear lack of boundaries. You deserve better.

Look at her actions, ignore her words.

[–]ScratchinCommander 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Boundaries are more for LTR and plates. OP took a first time tinder date to an expensive sit down place lmfao

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP took a first time tinder date to an expensive sit down place

Yeah, that bit is bonkers

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Me: I had a blast. Goodnight.

You did everything fine until that last message. On to the next one. Don't date girls from tinder.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No he did not have a blast and no it did not end good.

Read the side bar.

[–]CainPrice28 points29 points  (12 children) | Copy

You met her on tinder, right? Tinder is for fucking. She wanted to fuck, not meet her future husband. You were apparently looking for a girlfriend. On tinder. She probably thought you were silly. She even gave you a second chance to set up a hookup and you continued trying to play the boyfriend game.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ahhaaa dat parr. Cain is a genius. This we know.

But on a serious note, why are you trying to find a girlfriend on bender? This is 2019 folks. Wake up.

[–]TheLongerCon10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

Plenty of people find SO from tinder.

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Of those people, the relationship started as sexual and progressed to a LTR.

The plenty of people" are a fraction compared to the hordes of hook ups.

Had a buddy that used it to find younger successful women to support him. Of the 2 sugar mamas he found, there were 4-5 girls before each of them. So, sure he falls twice into your "plenty of people", but he hooked up with 8-10 people also. (Which doesn't count any fuglies.)

[–]TheLongerCon7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Mostl relationships outside of religious communities and extremely young people start of a sexual and move into romantic.

Most sexual encounters don’t lead to relationships, no matter how they happen.

The fact is there are girls are tinder who wants boyfriends and won’t sleep with a man in the first date. Not many, but they exist plenty.

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

In short, action over words. What you wrote, is what they say. What I wrote, is what happens.

Of course there are, but that doesn't mean they aren't sleeping with a FWB. This isn't something new. 20 years ago I overheard a 50 year old lady bragging on how she was dating 2 guys and made her eventual husband wait while she had fun with the other guy.

Additionally, how many of your plenty is due to wanting to settle down after riding the CC or approaching/past the wall.

Finally, your plenty are the majority in my above example as he was looking for a young sugar mama. From what I recall, 4 were hookups and the other 6-8 were plates he upgraded to LTRs (though the 1st was only 6 months, is that really an LTR).

From my own limited usage of these apps, I have always hooked up in the 1st meeting, regardless if they wrote not looking for a hookup/ONS.

Anyway, if you wish to continue discussing, PM me.

[–]PimPedOutGeeese1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In short, action over words. What you wrote, is what they say. What I wrote, is what happens.

Truer words have never been spoken...

[–]antariusz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact is there are girls are tinder who wants boyfriends and won’t sleep with a man in the first date. Not many, but they exist plenty.

Yes, and we call those women “reformed sluts” here at TRP, they’ve “learned the error of their ways” and are “ready to settle down now and put the past behind them”

And you know what the gods of TRP say about alpha widows former cock carousel riders hitting the wall... not today.

[–]LordMarkStark-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is true too. Red Pill can be narrow. Ive met a few longer term gf's on tinder.

[–]anylegtypes 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Ive met a few longer term gf's on tinder.

Of course you have, nobody is-

Oh you mean your own long term girlfriends

Oh

[–]LordMarkStark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Just to expand for you/others. All types. Divorcing chicks too who were legit having that happen and trying to get some fun in but like they see you every week and grow attached to you. I was just thinking the sub can be narrow in a world view, as it is really one world view on it own, so it blots out things sometimes. I'd rather people not be limited is all. Some family members have met their SO off tinder.

Most people on here think tinder is just full exclusively of sluts. These are hurt men who choose not to see the world and take too much comfort in the red pill (or their perversion of its essence).

EDIT: I won't for a second think any one is perfect and said girls probably did sleep with other guys in that time especially the early stages, I just don't consider it a massive deal as long as she turns up for another round the next week. If things progress then she'd have to drop that shit and girls nights out, etc.

Of course even when I say GF, they could still be slutty for a bit at the start and end, who knows. Tinder is not exactly exclusivity city. I don't really think about that.

But the couple of times I did meet a proper GF from there, we've deleted our tinder accounts. Mainly because we're over it. But also it doesn't preclude existing phone numbers.

Im also aware of what many people call plates on the sub are probably extended casual overlapping flings or on the other end of the spectrum actual girlfriends the guy is simply unfaithful to. Few guys I expect on here at least would live a 'plate-hard or not at all" life. Few people do I would expect at all, and then only intermittently or as it suits.

The sexual abundance many are seeking simply will never materialize for them. And the happy plater place they intend to seek probably does not exist unless there's only a couple of girls. You can't spend extended periods of time around multiple girls and be happy. Its more trouble than its worth to the vast majority of men.

But If I go for a girlfriend situation, one that develops, the girl asks first and I oblige. If she keeps sleeping round or jokes about it as a threat because we met on tinder (usually these girls leave tinder and I am left on it)... then thats bad for me, but its a legit no one gets in the way situation. Thats from tinder, so it does happen. But I can understand entirely why some people think it wouldn't happen because they have not run across it. Its comparatively rare by the numbers, but still happens a lot all over; so the amount of people meeting decent partners and staying with them from tinder is not insignificant; its probably just not the norm, I assume anyway.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Huh?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That hoe was sensing that the date was not about fucking so she shit tested him. She was showing her hoeish ways and the guy failed to notice.

A key note was that they went out very quick

[–]resnine6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Text game is horrendous. "thought there was a connection" NiceGuy™

What you are doing and said are completely wrong on many levels. Mate-guarding, taking her seriously, scarcity mindset, over-investment, giving a fuck, co-dependency, no amused mastery, female wording, outcome dependent, the list goes on.

[–]thrownawayisland5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Flipping this on its head, seems like the old dude found a ballsy play that works.

-Initiate eye contact towards hottie with date -Send a round of drinks to their table -Wait for hottie to come over? Or motion her over -When she stops by tell her you think shes cute and are only in town for the weekend, get her number and have a cover story for her date -When her date ultimately mentally crumbles from the number, she will crawl back to you.

Let’s break this open.

[–]mrheh0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

However, you do this to the wrong guy and you're putting yourself in a very dangerous situation. The worst and most violent fights I've seen and been involved in are always over a woman.

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Based on the post, you think OP is a shredded bodybuilder with high T looking to start a fight?

LOL, he took his out of town tinder date for a nice meal and gave off such weak signs another dude picked up on it and got her number.

[–]mrheh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The guy who sent the drinks started the conflict. I'm assuming he would want to be a man and confront the asshole regardless of the dumb tinder date.

[–]Joeboard4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats disrespectful af if you ask me. Old alpha only bought drinks to show off, not to seek potential "clients". She cant be stupid enough to believe that.

With that said, you should of joked about it and moved on. Id of tried to fuck her that night with no intention of ever speaking to her again.

[–]papunigga0313 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you did was wrong. Never call her out. As with any other shit test: Ignore, pressure flip, A&A

You could just tease her and continue the date.

This goes against my personal principles so I will tell you what I would have done.

I personally would have ignored and removed all attention ASAP.

Just consider this:

It’s a worse version of her talking about other men. Do you give this your attention? No. You ignore her when she does this.

So her flat out talking to another dude and giving him her number in front of you, while you’re on a DATE with her, is blatant disrespect. Remove all attention = end the date and move on to other girls. Do not tolerate disrespect.

However it depends what you’re looking for. I have a certain preference in women that I expect them to meet. If you’re just looking to smash, brushing it off would have been your best choice.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire23 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

She did you a massive favor by showing you this kind of behavior early on. It was a test to see how much of a sucker you are and what you will tolerate.

You may have thought it was hilarious that a 40 year old guy would send over drinks, but that guy knew what he was doing. He saw that you two were on a date, and he didn't care at all, and invaded your boundaries. How SHOULD you have reacted?

Hmmm... difficult question.

  1. Picked up the drinks, walked over to the guys table, and dropped them off saying "thanks, but no thanks, pal."

That might have been perceived as "angry" or "boundary-setting;" it's difficult to say. It depends on her attraction to you.

  1. Look at the girl, like it's a test, and say, "Hmmm... he just sent over some drinks... what should we do with them???" If she says to drink them, that suggests that she's opportunistic, sells herself cheaply, can be bought with alcohol, is vulnerable to temptation, etc. Of course, if she's smart, she'll get the gist of what you're implying, and could possibly feign a reply to tell you what you want to hear.

She didn't need this guy to learn from. There are plenty of guys out there that she could learn from other than some guy that horned in on your date.

Here's another thing, from her perspective:

  1. You are both 27. You are free to date 19 year olds. Her biological clock is ticking and the wall is approaching. She's probably wondering if you're actually serious, or if you just want some pump and dump action, which let's be real here, most guys your age and under being about that, essentially contributes to the problem, because you're perfectly content to use women for sex without committing to them, because it is now socially acceptable. No fathers or older brothers will show up at your door with clubs, knives, and guns and demand that you wife up their aging daughter because you had sex with her. This used to be the norm. So, anyway, her getting the 40 year old's contact info was her way of displaying abundance mentality to you, as in, "Hey man, if you don't try to lock me down, I'll just date up and get myself a nice older man who will take care of me." Which is fine.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

what should we do with them???

Lol asking her what she thinks. Who leads the dance?

Anyway, just a Tinder hole.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That would be a counter-argument against that approach, HOWEVER, I have read many a time, and it is my own personal belief, that a quality woman WILL handle these things herself to avoid putting her man into a potentially awkward situation. I mean, if you are the girl, and you are sitting there thinking, "Wow, this is a quality guy, I sure wouldn't want him to think I was a mercenary whore, I'd better show him that I think the other guy is so far beneath me that I won't even take a free gift from him." I mean, on the surface, what is wrong with accepting a free gift? Some guys would be like, "Oh, okay, let the sucker give us free stuff. But then also, it's like letting a vampire in. The guy bought the drinks for an in, not to be "nice."" Also, drinks as a gift is just another of way saying, "Hi, how are you, here have a drink, so I can make you easier to manipulate." Also for the guy too. A guy who has a drink is not going to think as clearly.

So anyway, if she were a quality woman, she would have handled herself on behalf of the guy. Instead, she gave the 40 year old her number because of the "free" drink. The guy bought her with a drink. That's how cheap she was. I mean, even if she liked the 40 year old, why would she want the 27 year old to think she was that cheap? That's looking at it on an even more cynical level. It was bad trade-craft on her part. She could have discreetly slipped the guy her number as she walked by. Of course, that would have carried its own risk. I think she was merely trying to display her own desirability and abundance mentality, to instill dread in OP and make herself more desirable, because she is under the mistaken impression that men and women are the same and are turned on by the same things.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tinder. Here for fuck. He didn't. Because he treated her like a prospect LTR. He lost. That's all.

The drink story doesn't even matter. He refuses, he accepts, he sends it back himself or through the waiter, it's all the same. He's not gonna make a Tinder hoe a housewife (shouldn't try btw), and she was still going to have a go at the dick.

Didn't know what he wanted, she did. Everybody wanks. He comes here. She found another dick on Tinder or go for 40-y-old douche dude that one day eventually will be punch in the face for his nerves.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

c. Of course, if she's smart, she'll get the gist of what you're implying, and could possibly feign a reply to tell you what you want to hear.

She didn't need this guy to learn from. There

How about telling the date "Let's see if we can get him to pay for dinner."

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

There we go, that's a good one! It could make him look like a weak, beta bux sucker....

On the other hand...

Then you risk the guy whipping out a massive wad of cash and cucking you by demonstrating that buying dinner is NOTHING to him.

See, it depends on who is doing it and how. If it's a some nebbishy, balding, pudgy guy with a weak frame who is doing it out of desparation, that's not a threat. If it's Brad Pitt, you're in deep, deep trouble.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like the major foundation is the abundance mindset; having other dates / numbers lined up. Forget this woman!

If it really was a first date and there wasn't the female on a pedestal... I wonder what other networking opportunities for the OP could have occurred from that guy.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If it makes you feel any better, I still slip into it in several ways. I think it is a byproduct of a civilization that alienates people. We're all spread around and have to commute everywhere to spend time with each other, so people "seem" scare. Not to mention that everyone is chasing after young, beautiful people, and those are super scarce. The ones that like us back are ever scarcer. But if you can build enough value, you will attract a fair amount of them, but still have to work at it.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There we go, that's a good one! It could make him look like a weak, beta bux sucker....

On the other hand...

Then you risk the guy whipping out a massive wad of cash and cucking you by demonstrating that buying dinner is NOTHING to him.

At this point, it would not have hurt anything, but, it could have saved OP some bucks.

[–]spndxwra5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I said I thought I could learn from him. Plus, he's so much older I definitely am not interested in him

despite the "cover" of consulting... she JUST met him - how would she know she could learn from him and what specifically could she learn in a min of conversation passing a table "in a bar" - how may orgasms she can get as she's bent over in front of him...??? what a tramp!

she was clearly flirting with him prior to the drinks and given he spent $ sending drinks over.. he clearly thought he had a chance.. so umm.. next.

She was gonna text him after ur date.. "to learn" about the CC.. giddy up.

[–]MiZiSTiK12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

ghost block

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

/ thread

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Connection.. when will you learn guys, using this word is beta. There can be no connection with random girls, period. The only connection that you need is your dick connecting to her vagina.

[–]LordMarkStark3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said. You just met her on tinder. Go for the snatch first date, every time. It's the single most prudent thing to do. If she doesn't want it, fine, just go for it because she almost certainly does. If not it will be next time supposing there is even a next time.

[–]blacwidonsfw1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think connection is a fine word. It's not like he is saying he has a shrine to her now. Dick in vagina is a connection...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. But telling a woman that is beta. Especially some random girl he met first time.

[–]blacwidonsfw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eh I personally don't think it's a big deal in this context.

[–]bluefingerblue7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

You fucked up by taking her to an expensive sit down. You signaled beta to her. Plus you’re sitting across from each other instead of at the bar. Recipe for zero sexual tension and a free meal ticket for her. And you’re wondering why she was looking for dick in front of you.

Fix your date logistics and your frame. She clearly didn’t see you as high value enough if she was willing to give out her number in front of you. Take it as a reflection of you, not as a reflection of her. Girls behave according to whatever frame you present. So you need to fix that.

That said, it was disrespectful and I wouldn’t hit her up again personally. Use it as a learning experience.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

That first paragraph you wrote was kind of fucking retarded.

Everything else made sense, though. But taking a woman to an expensive restauraunt and having her sit across from you isnt 'beta'. My God, this fucking sub sometimes.

[–]bluefingerblue7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ahh yeah...it is. On a first date? Yes, yes it is. You do you though.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds more like how restauraunts work....😂 maybe OP is rich or something too

[–]bluefingerblue4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not that it’s inherently beta. It’s that she’s more likely to put you in the beta provider category.

“If I pretend I’m a ‘good girl’, and don’t put out, maybe OP will keep wining and dining me.”

Going out to an expensive dinner on a first date is doing yourself no favors. Unless you want girls to wait to sleep with you despite gobbling down Chad’s dick after splitting the bill on two drinks.

[–]Hambone_Malone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You put yourself in no position for you or them to escalate. The best option is to sit next to each other at a bar. Hands can freely move.

[–]throwawayycheyeah2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not much to be upset over. She was probably looking for another person to buy her shit for sex. Sounds like you dodged some bullshit.

And that is disrespectful as hell. I think you made the right choice. Theres much better out there

[–]leflegjones3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

He sent drinks over because him and the girl were making serious eye contact. Something in her demeanor told him to go for it. He did and it worked out.

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Sleep with the boss to get ahead. It's an old adage, like sleep with the director to get the part.

Typically a random guy doesn't send over drinks and she isn't going to thank a random guy, unless he isn't random. You are assuming she typed in her phone number, and not her room number. The only thing for certain, he fucked her that night.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She consulted him that night.

[–]BusterVadge4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plus, he's so much older I definitely am not interested in him

Pfft... I'm 45 and regularly land attractive 20-somethings

[–]LordMarkStark10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dump her on the spot (OP essentially tried to do this with silence and cutting things short - I don't know how people are not glad about that EDIT: my opinion has evolved on the whole situation in later post). Happened to me. She was livid and her friend hit me up a couple months later, knew them both. Said she did it to get rid of him she said but later at my place after more stupid shit I told her to leave. Another time with my new girl she saw me out, actually with 2 girls, first she danced like a slut in front of me, as I licked tequila shots off my dates boobs then salt on her other one.. then she actually got with a guy in front of me, drunk to spite me but he was good looking too so who knows. But her friend same one came up to me to say she was really upset over it and wanted me back, and that I was hot and she wanted to do something with me. I couldn't obviously I was with my new girl.

OP had a date, between two people. She should have more respect. Dudes out of an LTR, greeeaat, and into the arms of some hoe. If you like just see her for sex, she'll make you worry too much. She's not quite on your wavelength.

There's been several times no less than 4 or so in my life where I had to pick between a few girls in front of me. Girls handle it better than guys usually, never put the shoe on the other foot. Ever. Dump then let her crawl back. You end it ASAP... Don't let her think you share. Keep it clean and you'll have more of a hope she's not riding two cocks at once + the guy could push you out if she thinks you're weaker. Dump and let her dump the other guy if possible/spook her to make the other guy seem like a player or willing to tolerate her crap. don't let past misdescretions bite you from behind.

OP you set the standard. These people joking it off, sorry that's weak in your situation. The doormat. If before the date she jokes about other guys maybe joke about it and I do come up with funny shit. But ON the date you need to tell her to take a good look at herself and fuck off basically until she can behave.

If you're hard up for sex and a chicks soft skin yes you can fuck her then address it but there's a lot of problems with that as you can imagine. It's weaker for one, more duress from you which is not good and it's a form of pleading.

Once you fuck, you bought her. You'd have to either not care or go about it in a neutral manner.

People may say oh Lord mark when you do that it's blue pill! Or the whole marriage thing. You can be neutral. Those people are fags or not thinking right. But even then. It's not ideal is it, and none of the situation is, the best you can hope for is it was innocent/brain snap. But don't count on that. Let it all work out in the wash. Depends where OP draws his line and that's fine by me.

[–]TuhTodayJr1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yes yes this but also can’t be naive either. Awalt... right?

Regardless of where op draws his line that is an obvious red flag even if she was telling the truth. Again, though emotional to handle the truth when it comes can determine what op does next

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well she is still in touch with him. He can do what he wants. But they have known each other a total 1 day at this point. If he is ok with it, he needs to take her somewhere less quiet and just fuck her. Thats all she is good for to him.

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its a red flag as to his ultimate aim which would seem to be to make her something more than just a chick he sees, because many guys just want to be one on one with a girl and not have anyone else in the picture. Just the world is no longer so simple, ref: tinder. I see his question as a road block solving exercise to that end. He just needs to ease his mind. So the red flag strikes that out nearly 100% but not her in totality.

She is still in touch with him. He can do what he wants. But they have known each other a total 1 day at this point. If he is ok with it, he needs to take her somewhere less quiet and just fuck her. Thats what probably needs to be done. Op is probably a resourceful guy and OP has a fair bit going for him, she is just not considering being with anyone for anything serious after 1 meeting on tinder and 2 knowing them for 1 day. If she is a business orientated girl then networking is going to be something she does almost daily anyway. She may even lump OP into that category.

***** This is not a horrible meeting. It wasn't ideal but not horrible. This is not AWALT; the fact is people on here assume everything is cut and dry; because if everything is cut and dry and BECAUSE they have special red pill knowledge, if they can just do the knock-out punch like bruce lee, then it shows competency, which is what they ultimate crave....

She could have taken that number with any degree of intensity, for any reason - but she is still talking to OP. He should proceed to think she is just up for some fun despite whatever connection they shared according to him.

I said dump her first, but the more perspective one gets the better they are able to pin it down. If she is still talking to him he should use his every advantage to nail the chick. Its possible she chose to meet so soon due to some related interest. He said connection meaning his go-to would be to take her out more; however given the nature of what she is about (shopping herself around perhaps and I assume this is not her home town/area) he just needs to proceed with caution as to how attached he gets to her and draw the line at keeping in touch with her for fun until her situation, if ever, changes.

Guys on here can be so upset with women they want to over-react in an effort to take back control, even when its a good move. Then its a circle jerk. Nah, if she is still talking to him and I am not suggesting she undoubtedly still will, then he can proceed as normal and put it behind him. But his strategy should be to think its high school or something and just go for the fun route. Its established if thats the case she already likes him, she is older and so is her and they both have something going for him, he is not an average person too much, and the rest takes care of itself.

He wants to bond with the girl, while many people on here are too hurt to consider bonding with any girl with integrity. A lesser few people have simply been with too many girls in order to bond. We don't know she is a raunchy slut, she may be the average girl. It may have been a spur of the moment decision to talk to the guy. Doesn't matter. The best advice one can give to a stranger in these things would be since she is still (we assume) talking to him, to keep going but try to nail her next time. She is definitely putting herself out into the world; OP may as well scoop her up ASAP. That may well have been his intention, but the dinner thing in an upper class place (depending on their socio economics) may not have been the best idea for that and it took a hit toward the end - which again was not his fault. Its just a change of tact. The rest of their burgeoning relationship still remains.

Despite what people think if they were actually making a connection then he has a bit of skin in the game. That does not absolve the situation of anything else, but some people are so doom and gloom about things after discovering a girl can choose who fucks her from the red pill (shock!) they go onto auto pilot. Yes OP can't be too nice about it all, but if he really likes her and wants her, he needs to continue going for her with as much impunity to what occurred as possible. But he also may no longer like her.

thats understandable because a few times on this reddit and you begin to see most people think all girls are evil witches and have an agenda as such toward them - because we all want things to line up with our views and look for facts to support it.

He has known her for 1 day, so he can't determine anything. If she is pretty and he doesn't mind her too much, he should still make some time for her.

Its not so much a red flag though it probably is, that it can't simply serve as a timely reminder. Just don't try to put her under the thumb. A girl like this you let her come to you. He went quiet and she came to him. Its pretty clear to me. But the rest will need to be tight game since he mentioned connection. Thats not to manipulate because if you let it "connection" will weigh the two of you down so early. It was probably mostly quasi-connection anyway. For anyone's future reference you don't mention any of that to her until she brings it up and go easy with the verbal reciprocation.

[–]markinsinz72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your gut reaction is fair but it may not be necessarily the best depending on what you want.

I want to imagine girls like your little sister - like some 5 year old. Now suppose this 5 year old says to you that you are lame or looosaaa. How would you react? You'd laugh it off right ? Like yea u tiny shit keep talking I couldn't give a fuck.

That's the same thing with ur date except you yourself have to add a sexual element to it. This stage is not easy to reach when abundance is low.

Overall, Yes its a disrespect and many ego guys would walk away and many beta schmucks would have believed her BS but the player/hustler/whatever wouldda teased her/pretend it didn't happen and move forward to continue fucking her for the night.

If you fuck great - you seg that lay into a plate n keep her there - permanently. When one day she asks for an ltr you tell her since that day she gave her # you were never gonna go anywhere serious with her.

Alternatively if you don't fuck her and given that u didnt, just ghost. Don't waste even a second. She wants to give u that feeling that she genuinely likes you. Bitches have a 6th sense for sinking their hooks.

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit test to see how much you cared, and you failed

[–]recursoinominado2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, it was a little disrepectful but who the fuck cares, she is only a tinder date, you can still have fun, is not like she isn't banging lots of guys anyway. She isn't yours, you could still have fun and exercise some abundance mentality as she flirts with guys in front of you. I once had a tinder date literally send several voice messages to different guys saying all sorts of sexual stuff (teasing about his cock an their past fucks and all of that) as i was driving her to my home for bang time. Didn't care, in fact i found it pretty funny, we banged, had our fun, she turned out to be crazy (who would thought, right? lol), we ened and it all good.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You mate-guarded a tinder lay on the first date. She disqualified herself from an LTR but not from poundtown.

That response made you look massively threatened by the guy. I could understand if it wasn't a tinder girl, but you shouldn't be looking for an LTR off there.

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right response.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too late now, but you should have made a pass. Not LTR but a plate.

[–]red_matrix2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do think that’s pretty disrespectful. I doubt I could trust her to be a LTR. I wouldn’t cut her off or get angry though, but she’d never be more thank a hook-up/plate. Getting another dude’s number in front of you basically signals you’re not the best she thinks she can get. Plate her or walk away is my advice.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great example of everything not to do.

Don't take a tinder hoe to something expensive, and then sit front. Don't react like you give a shit about anything, and fuck her after or you're a loser.

[–]QueenSlapFight2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's different schools of thought on this. Many on here are caught up on her "disrespecting you". Personally I think that's entering her frame. I would think her behavior shows she's definitely not LTR material (of course AWALT). So plate her. If she wants to see you again, just escalate hard and stop doing couple datey bullshit. Mentally assume she's fucking the 40 year old and don't put her on a pedestal.

Also, as someone mid-life, 27 year old women have no problem dating 40 year olds.

[–]1redhawkes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the kind of post that brings bloops on the surface. It serves as a filter. Boohoo 'disrespect' echo chamber.

First mistake, bringing tinder slut in expensive restaurant. This is no brainer. Pizza at your place would do. Anyways, you should have set the frame into sexual one from the beginning, kino when you met etc. You did nothing.

The 40yo dude smelled beta on you, so he shoot his shot. You got AMOGed and let that shake your frame.

she was going to go to the bathroom but also that she wanted to say thank you

This is where you fucked up my dude. You should have told her to tell him to book a hotel room for both of you later, jokingly, but you tried to mate guard. After that, everything went to shit. Non existent frame and butthurt text with the 'connection' disney bullshit. Good thing you didn't pay for the dinner?

To sum it up, you were way fucking overinvested in some random tinder slut, that even reflected on your mood. Use this experience as a lesson. Learn Amused Mastery, FRAME, and read the fucking sidebar if you want to improve your skills.

[–]tothetopbaby116 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

As soon as she gave him her number I would’ve known I could fuck her that night. Half of these dudes in the comments screaming it was disrespectful, man listen this ain’t yo bitch, don’t make her yo bitch just fuck this bitch.

All these guys sound like girls..omg I’m Alpha respect me omg how dare she give her number to another guy omg this our date omg I’m so important...nigga shut the fuck up. So what if she wanted to fuck him. What you gone do stop her? Lmfao.

If anything you just handed pops the pussy on a platter, nice assist. All you had to do was chill out and fuck the bitch that night, but you tryna own these hoes.

[–]MCA_T3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

most alpha comment in this sub, Keepin it real

[–]2comment1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you did it out of abundance mentality or higher standards it's fine, she's just a thot. But you could have brushed it off and escalated if you wanted sex.

I mean, who cares either way, she was obviously hamstering total bullshit.

[–]Anasthaesium1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have nexted bitches for lot lesser lol . Just do it. Dgaf. Plenty of bitches out there for a high value man

[–]theboldmind1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a fucking great thread. Arguments from both sides. Come on guys what’s the conclusion?

OP what did you decide?

[–]Don_Draper271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't say you did the "right" or "wrong" thing here.

All I could predict is that if you were to give her a pass on that disrespect, many more red flags and shit tests would ensue.

[–]mojokabobo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People talk about guys spinning multiple plates being the goal and how AWALT, she's just riding the cock carousel.. I find it odd that you'd be surprised at her behavior. She probably finds it odd that you don't want to be spinning a bunch of plates and that you're offended by her riding the cock carousel..

I do think she was a bit slutty to go and do that, btw. I also think you were a bit possessive to be pissed. What were you planning, you two to get married and have kids?? 😅

[–]Slut_Slayer90001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here is the thing, if you plan on dating hot bitches you have GOT to be prepared for dudes hitting on her. So you definitely need to work on your frame. You getting butthurt about her entertaining the older guy and then basically shutting down subcommunicates that you are way more invested in her then she is in you.

Honestly the way I would've handled it is started commenting on the guy, maybe even goading her to go talk to him when you got the drinks. Something like "man that old guy must really wanna fuck you up, you should go talk to him, he seems desperate (with a laugh)" Doing this reframes the entire scenario, and shows abundance mentality. If she talks to him she did it because you said so, but more then likely if she is into you she will view it as creepy because thats the frame you set forth. I probably would've even cheers with her with the drinks he bought while looking at the dude and winked at him, now he looks like a cuck. But I guarantee you dudes wouldn't be sending my girl drinks with me there lol. So ultimately you probably need to work on your SMV. Guys aren't gonna do this to other dudes around or above their SMV.

Also pro tip, don't wine a dine a bitch if you are trying to fuck ESPECIALLY on the first date ESPECIALLY at a fancy place . That instantly puts you in provider/LTR frame and girls will purposely not fuck you because they don't want to come off easy to a potential LTR.

[–]Deltime1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s from out of town! First date? Looks like it was going to be the only my friend. All this alpha/beta talk is whatever. Fancy dinner for an out of town date? That was your first mistake. Getting upset was the second mistake. Live and learn my friend! It will happen again with someone else!

[–]anotherchump991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you are over reacting man. She came back to explain to you showing a submissive attitude and checked back with you with text. This shows some form of interest but at the same time she is not head over heels for you. Interest level was there but not super high.

Don't know all the details but I could imagine if you continue to escalate, you could have brought her home and continue raising interest levels.

If it was me I would just take her home and fuck her that night and plate her like you were going to anyways. You lose nothing.

It's another thing if you want to LTR this girl though.

But whatevers man, you already said goodbye. Just move on bro.

[–]civilizedfrog3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Professionals carry a business card at all times. However, ignore that and let us focus what you did wrong. You mate-guarded a tinder girl. Extremely unattractive behavior

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. I never don’t have a business card.

[–]Bedtimeshine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There was never any need to try to game this situation. And there’s no need to regret acting like you played it wrong by ending it. She gave out her number to a guy that sent her drinks when she was clearly on a date. Period. She will learn nothing from him. Their interactions will exclusively consist of him trying to fuck and her loving the attention at the very least. There are 2 options: NGAF or end it. I personally would have gone the NGAF route and would have let it be casual and would never approaching anything looking like an LTR with her. I would give her dick and indifference and would have kept sleeping with and dating other women. It’s completely fine that you ended it but learn from it and maybe next time try to the “who gives a fuck, she just signed up to be a temporary fuck buddy who I can’t take seriously,” route.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Oooo, ooo, feel the burn.

Ok, so woman does what women do. The thing is you gotta expect that shit. How you hold frame and deal with it, is how you win.

You got butthurt, and may have felt like you were sticking to your boundaries. It's a rookie thing to do. We've all done it.

What really happens is, she hamsters that you aren't man enough, and we're threatened by another guy. Her little hindbrain says 'oh well', and she is called by the dude and goes fucks the guy who was brazen enough to cut in on another man's date.

In future...amused mastery. You ALWAYS know you are the best possible mate. Everyone else's attempt at your bitch is laughable. YOU ARE THE ALPHA.

Next time you give her shit. Tease her for going up to a 40 year old dude. Throw her off gaurd. Walk up, high five the guy. Then go up to some random woman and whisper to her she looks hot. Then saunter to the bathroom. Make this bitch's hamster spin.

When you return, pull her close, and whisper 'after I fuck you, remind me to take a shower. I only like 40 year old vibes when it's one of my milf's'. All with the biggest shit eating grin ever.

Amused...mastery.

In womanese she's said - 'this guy was alpha, so I got ready to branchswing. Here's a chance for you to retain dominance'.

Shit test...failed.

[–]anylegtypes 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Next time you give her shit. Tease her for going up to a 40 year old dude. Throw her off gaurd. Walk up, high five the guy. Then go up to some random woman and whisper to her she looks hot. Then saunter to the bathroom. Make this bitch's hamster spin. When you return, pull her close, and whisper 'after I fuck you, remind me to take a shower. I only like 40 year old vibes when it's one of my milf's'.

This is the weirdest TRP internet fantasy I've read yet lmao

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K18-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol, I thought it was pretty funny too. Just sorta came to me as I typed. Gets the point across though.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lmfao. Have you any experience doing this little brother?

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO, it's a joke. An exaggeration on not being butt hurt. I forget this sub is full of guys who take things far too literally.

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is my thought after thinking about it. You literally met her the same day you matched with her. It's all in it's extreme infancy. Just brush it off now, don't worry about it. Can't do anything more about that incident. Plus you don't really have anything with a girl until you screw her, basically, and have no right even then (and these days less so too) to make her do anything. But what you can lay down are expectations either directly or indirectly.

Think of this situation of yours as a high quality problem. Others want your girl. Technically there is little you can do if someone wants to fuck your girl or if she wants to fuck someone else. Its going to happen anyway. Plus you have no banged her. So don't get jealous or possessive too much. Maybe she will like that later on, but if she likes it now she is damaged goods.

You could have said to the first text "I do. Enjoy getting your new best buddy's phone number?" Thats all you should have said, you're onto her, even if its innocent.

You know why it was immediate and she didn't do the "i had a good time' text - because you probably caught her out or it was a suss situation she found herself in. She is in town yes and she probably networks like this all the time, but its a bother to her because she was out with you.

That guy saw you two were on a date and sent over drinks anyway. Its the prickiest of moves ever. He may wish he was on that date - but he wasn't. To have the number swap thing is just a smack to the senses. I agree, but you can't show it.

Notice how she said "I thought I made that clear to you" So she doesn't want to not keep talking to you, we don't know why if its for more outtings or some dick, but we do know she wants you to tow the line. is that because she just wants to see you and damn the situation that happened - or is it to simply save face where she thinks 'if he pikes out on me, at least there's others'...

So don't let yourself pike out. Come through for her. She is not attached to you but she does like you. She may also not want you causing a scene in case it comes back to bite her somehow. But I don't think she is thinking that bad. She realized her mistake and got in contact immediately. Your silence was a form of dread to her.

A thing I always used to say to girls was "I don't care what you do - so long as you go home with me" This is when we would go out to nightclubs, bars, and I was in a major stage of being no ones man. I was young back then. It always worked to those I said it to, but its not some cure-all, imagine. What is, is the line in the sand, no matter how you get it across but do try to avoid confrontation. Silent treatment is ok.

It draws a clear line of expectation and remember she wants to meet your expectations.

IF by your actions or words you somehow indicate you have low expectations of her, or no expectations (where appropriate) then she will only ever try to live up to them; well its especially true for loose girls or girls who don't hold themselves in a good moral way. And these days where social norms are constantly cast aside and bad manners abounds.

The girl I mentioned in my post far above who gave her number out and swapped numbers really said she will delete his number when I pinned her for it. Big deal because he can still call. She said she wasn't interested either and it was in front of me. It was highly rude. Kicked her to the curb at the first opportunity. Forget now if it was that night, or the next time when her behavior was bad again but for something else.

Never forget about your girls thing that night. It will provide you with the motivation to do what is right when/if the time comes.

Depends how much hand you have. I said to her 'what the hell you think you're doing. Delete it" or something similar. 'You're on a "date" with me [and I acted hot toward this girl, she loved it] so no number counts. I'd ask you to do the same if I did that."

She says she doesn't mind what I do - I say nah you're on a date with me. Delete it or go home.

Well not because she wanted to be moral about it, she just wanted a good night so she deleted it in front of me. In that case it really had only anything to do with her selfish desires. They always say that "I don't like him" "he doesn't have a chance".

Yuh. Until he does have a chance. This is how you would look at it, don't give another a chance. Blot out this bitches sun.

Your girl she went over because of the gesture and his business transaction was complete; must think his super beta move had paid off, but only you can let him get away with it. You were rightfully questioning it internally but you went too far so as to lose your cool a bit. Sure going quiet in this instance ruins your own date - but it was also a good thing because you don't want to participate in her bullshit.

Until she behaves well enough she can't continue with you, so it was a good, honest move.

Don't worry about the gung-ho nature of some posters if thats not you. Giving her the silent treatment is a good thing, not a bad thing.

This all suggests to me even though her texts she chides you, that you have a lot more going for you than just some red pill awareness. There's looks, game, red pill, means and wealth, competency on dates/outings, good in bed. Not just one thing - women want a package.

But escalate next time you see her. She's into you in some way, and if she denies your advances, leave immediately. Thats because she may currently be just trying to string you along, though I don't think its that, thats a stop-gap, she doesn't know you well enough yet.... but if you're ever out having fun with a girl like that, escalate on her. Sit close, brush up against her or her against you apart from whatever else is going on, maybe her foot touches yours on purpose (a common one), shoulders touch, hands brush, get cosy with her. Look into her face, look at her mouth, dont move away, move closer and kiss her. If she even looks a tiny bit like she wants to be kissed, then kiss. Don't have to kiss her all night though she may try that, stay in control of yourself.

Try to make that happen in the first half of the next date if there is one. Pick a place this time that is not too far away, just do drinks, has a lounge/or sit down area where people can sit side by side, don't sit across from her. If you happen to be somewhere where its not going to happen, go for a walk, change venue.

Only one time ever have I been walking with a girl on the way and I wanted to kiss her, and did I stop her and she didn't want to be kissed then. But she still kissed and she liked me, but didn't want to kiss. This girl left me in bar one night when some mofo came to pick her up. We saw each other sparringly as it was but she definitely ditched me that night. If a girl doesn't want to get intimate with you on a date - the night is over. Its why she is there, and later have sex. If thats not the case or if she is entering moves towards other guys, something is up.

In your situation the reasonable explanation and probably true is that she is in town for a bit, yes, but also look at how quick you met, she is meeting fast, so she's not one to tie down easily maybe, but because you also just met its not like anything is solid between you no matter the fun. If you were a man-whore it may have been you who was doing the number thing, but you're not being on. She is just looking for more suitors though she is not swapping numbers explicitly for sex. She just swapped numbers.

And that guy probably bullshitted to her. It was a big dick move, but now just look past it, you have some crap going for you, she apparently wants to meet again, and next time escalate like a mofo. I approach these things from the perspective of I wonder if she wants to kiss me and there's only one way to find out. Never count on her kissing you but do count on her accepting the kiss. Its got to be like that. If she ever denies it (though of course there's heaps of kino) you just stand up and leave. Never happened to me, but thats what I would do. UNLESS its just way to early, and its a little kiss. Thats the other thing, get the kino-ball rolling with her, but don't do anything too crazy too soon. If you give her a small ass kiss the first time also thats no big deal if you're she's sucking you down in 30 minutes. EG you're walking and turn your heads to kiss each other a bit but because its walking you don't stop, maybe you laugh at some shit and keep walking.

Anyway I will just repeat myself if I go on. She is a tinder girl, but if you do see her again, its a rare tinder beast that does this, see someone with no nookies twice but it does happen and a fair bit I'd say; you may not come across this for a long time (i.e you consider it a wash on your behalf). If she sees you again forget the last night, its not a big deal, go for it.

EDIT: Final warning: she's only in town for a bit - connection? Stop thinking like that. She doesn't care. Escalate hard at a close by venue, get her to yours after normal procedures, or forget about her. Tell her at some point you'll take her somewhere after this to make out if you're not already doing it. Whatever you do. Don't disappoint her. Get this slut giddy and then giddy her up. The reason you bring it to a test point is to get it out in the open as in "are we going to make out or what"; if you suggest the above it sets an expectation.

Ask yourself what sort of girl meets someone on the first tinder day conversation. She is someone who is expecting a bit of fun, and if sex happens it happens. She's not one to quibble so long as you lead her down the path and you are a proper mack to her and not a rapist. A proper mack doesn't let up and at most pulls back and tries again from other angles, until it succeeds or breaks, without the cops needing to be involved.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Cool story bra

[–]LordMarkStark-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. The coolest part is where I dump her ass. The cooler part is where OP already did that and didn't have to come here to ask. The way coolest part though is where you're not even replying to the reply I didn't have to make.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn’t have given a fuck. Let me tell you a similar story. It was my birthday, and this was before I discovered trp, and I just turned 21. I was talking with a girl that was like 24. She wanted to go to a bar.

My buddy called me so I told him where we were going. She wasn’t my gf, just an acquaintance really. And although I liked her I wasn’t emotionally invested. The girl didn’t seem to like that but I was unbothered.

My bro and I were drinking, she opened a tab up for my b day so I took advantage. I was already a heavy drinker despite just turning 21. Anyway, she went to the bar and was chatting up and old prick. She had told me in the past that she though old guys were hot or something.

It was slightly embarrassing bc my friend was like- what is she doing bro? And I said- I don’t know but she opened up a tab so let’s take advantage. So the night goes on and she’s over there the whole time. I’m annoyed in the inside but don’t show it on the surface. My bro suggest we go get some weed so I call one of my boys up. As were walking out, I shit you not, this girl runs over to me. Saying don’t leave me. We’re you just gonna leave me? I said yea we’re going to get some weed.

The girl didn’t smoke weed at all. She hated it. But she said I wanna come. So I get in my boys car and she’s wanting to make out and shit. I blow some smoke in her face and laugh. We have a good time.

My buddy drops me off at my truck and the girl sucks me off. I fuck her. Drove to another parking lot and fuck again and then go back to her dads house and fuck her again until I pass out from exhaustion. In the morning she cooked me some eggs and then I went to work.

Now that I think of it, this actually happened another time, again with an older girl. Same result. Fucked her and dumped her ass off.

[–]Thinkingard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not an experienced PUA but even I can see huge gaping flaws in this whole mess. First, you brought a Tinder match out for dinner? You go out for drinks, don't waste your money on dinner. You created a good vibe and absolutely destroyed it after 40-something got her number. She barely spoke to the guy so she didn't build any connection. He probably lied to her about his consulting experience just to follow up with her. You have serious inner game problems because of how much it bothered you this guy did what he did. He totally dominated your frame. The text game afterward showed how butthurt you were. Since she actually said more than 2 words she was clearly interested in you and you had an easy lay going for you. You probably thought it was alpha to next her like that but I honestly think it was unnecessary. You could have easily set up a second date to close the deal but take a moment to reread your response. You put up a boundary about her actions like a jealous boyfriend, a boundary she clearly had no idea about and was obviously confused you took it so hard. She was interested in seeing you again, not the old dude. You have no reason to create a narrative of ulterior motives of hers, that's your own hamster spinning and assigning too much value to her. Were you trying to wife this girl up? What was your game plan? Were you trying to get laid or find a soul mate?

[–]wilsonator5010 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like she's still interested bro go for it

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds to me as if she's done with him.

She may have wanted to salvage it, but, his bitchy reply, and her 'ok, you too' means, to me, that she's done. Could be wrong, tho.

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only just to fuck

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I honestly hope you did not pay for any of her stuff.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you handled it well. You shouldn't even have replied to her text...just ignore and next. No need to explain yourself, she knows what she should've done.

It's about self-respect plain and simple. Women aren't stupid except if she's socially inept or on an aspie and autistic spectrum plain & simple. They know it's disrespectful to get another man's number on a date regardless of the reason. You and her know that if you gave out your number to another woman while on a date with her, she would be pissed even if she didn't express her disgust.

Also ignore some of the retarded PUA faggots putting pussy on a pedestal in the comments...Jesus what the fuck has happened to this sub?

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that's pretty disrespectful. But my question is what were you looking for in this girl? If you just wanted to fuck why not invite her back to your place and just bang her brains out? If she says no then ok she's an out of town girl you won't have to ever see again.

Me: I had a blast and actually thought there was a connection. I saw you turn away and put your number in his phone. Wishing you all the best

There's no reason to say that. You don't have to explain things to her. If you really wanted to dump her ass just say some shit like "we didn't click" then ignore lol.

[–]Kizzou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing brother. She blatantly disrespected you and she knows it

[–]8380atgmaildotcom0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At least now I know that shit actually works

[–]AstuteBlackMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dont offer to hangout unless you're 100% guaranteed pussy from her. That was rude as fuck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll say it. She's a hoe and if she's done that she'd probably would have done that to you a lot later on. And probably does that a lot around a lot of guys. There are women who want to have every benefit with another guy expect sex and not be labeled a hoe and be in a relationship at the same time, like going out with men late at night, getting rides from them all the time, texting all her male friends, hanging out with them at restaurants while being in a relationship. Im not saying she's not suppose to have a male friends etc but if you're in a relationship you're supposed to behave like you are.

That also applies to a date as well. We all know women like this. They are always surrounded by males friends and in relation at the same time and when she break up with her bf starts dating one of those male friends shortly after. Hoes move along fast. I understand it was a date but she dismissed in the same fashion very quickly by text.

As far as the drinks I would have ingored them.

[–]zfrostic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck that bitch!!!

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

New thought. You're too hard on yourself. Yes the girl is a sneak but don't dump, I would just devote less time to her.

People go on about abundance, you do know us guys are extremely idealistic. Proceed as normal knowing she's most likely sneaky.

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The way I look at fail to close FRs like this is that you're still learning. That being said, your failed here. There is a difference between blatant disrespect and being bothered by petty stuff. The guys I see on her claiming disrespect just means they don't have enough confidence yet not to be bothered. Definite lack of dgaf attitude.

I'll give you a little field report similar to yours. I had a girl and a buddy that I drove to a club. As the girl and I entered, a guy she'd previously met up with on Tinder saw her and said hey. She talked for a minute, then went inside. At first my buddy, her and I were all dancing. At one point, Tinder boy came up and they talked and danced a bit at his table. My buddy kept saying 'wtf, she's with the other dude'. I told him don't worry about it, I brought her here and I'll take her home. The whole time, I'm dancing with other girls. At one point, I go up to her, start grinding and start making out. We head out to leave and Tinder boy is there. She says bye, even though he invited her to keep drinking. We head to my careers and fuck in the car. I take her home. A few days later fuck her again until she returned to her college city.

The point is other men shouldn't phase you if you're confident enough. It's not like I don't talk to other girls than whom I came with when I go out, you shouldn't either, if you're confident.

Too many people on this sub are using this 'disrespect' cop-out nowadays, instead of the point, which is to be confident, self-growth, and bang chicks.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good experience for you man as you might experience something similar with another girl you are seeing.

Very disrespectful on her part and showed colors early; she's only visiting though but imagine her pulling a ladies night or vacation in the future.

It was an appropriate response; continue hitting the gym and approaching people.

How would you respond to something similar in the future?

What if you got up after the number exchange and performed an Irish Exit.

What about re-framing the situation... saying to your date.. "Hey let's go thank him!" Dominating that interaction and having him actually pay. Could this even be done?

[–]Kanvaslaw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have gone up to the 40yo and asked him for tips

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She didn't know anything about the older guy, but, she was determined to go and thank him, and told OP as she went to the toilet, whereas any fucking retard knows that a simple nod, or both thanking him as they left was what was acceptable for a thank you.

This was the point where he should have known that his romantic notions were displaced, not when she typed the number into his phone.

Still may have been able to smash, tho.

[–]Japhia7-2 points-1 points  (8 children) | Copy

Chick either doesn't have any social awareness, sense of respect or is conniving.

Would have delivered the drinks back to the guy and give a "no thank you/fuck you"

[–]thatbadrogue219 points20 points  (6 children) | Copy

"take the drinks back" seems so fucking ridiculously defensive. just give him a nod and a salut and do the shot. turn to the girl, "I think he has a crush on me" simple.

[–]Blackhawk24791 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Winner.

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not really. It's contrived. Maybe it would work. OP was never going to do it.

And she reckons it's all ok. He just went weak at every point. I think he responded to her too quickly in text. Should have waited ages and come here first.

She's over looking it all, possibly only because she likes attention. It's just not his strongest position.

I still like the comment though.

[–]thatbadrogue20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why exactly would he not play the hand? Curious how you would have handled this. For funsies. PSA everything in this forum is contrived, we’ve all had more than 30 seconds to assimilate a situation

[–]LordMarkStark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, yeah he should have. Most likely, but I have further reassessed the situation in a further post to OP.... But about my post. When I read it I was being literally focused. You're right. Not my best. I did say elsewhere it wasn't going to happen and did say an alternative along your lines. After he said that as someone stated it would have been very defensive and a downer.

Something like yours is what he should have done. Crap like that's happened to me and I always roll with it. It's a case of not losing your cool. It's simply because of the surprise to your exclusive time with her being interrupted, so best to make light and make the best of it.

The biggest smack in the face to him was when she went and spoke to him, probably he is under stating the whole thing of which that's a contributing factor.

This type of situation where they just met basically you brush it off, dust yourself down and keep putting the heat on her. He was knocked off his game, reactionary, he could have took action.

Ask her if you think he spiked them is a good one. Then be her taste tester. Or say it's nice of him or be as devious as you like. Just don't lose it.

I figured dump her. She swapped numbers after 1 minute to a stranger. Maybe they were aquaintances, I wasn't there. But right now he should have drank it, and toasted the guy then tried to escalate on her in front of him. Got to put his mark on her.

But my new post is more considered to my thinking of it overall.

Something like you said. Having the old guy watching would just spur me on so when I tongued her down or whatever it was super hot.

But I also actually think now she'll sleep with that guy if OP is not careful. If he keeps on thinking stuff like that.

Hence my new post.

[–]bittr_n_swt-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re way too serious man. If she continues to see you, what’s the big deal. Missed a chance imo

[–]iAMTinman_Dealwithit-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Disrespectful. Move on. Simple as that.

[–]Fulp_Piction-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT!

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, I would have confronted her immediately, and almost certainly left minutes later.

Maybe I would have fucked her, but I would have treated her as a dumb slut from that moment forward



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