You really can't make any mistakes with women when you're an average guy, can you?

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March 19, 2019
61 upvotes

I'm still an average guy, because lifting takes for fucking ever to give you a nice body. Pretty good job (but that doesn't seem to matter), not great at talking/game. 27 year old.

I go out twice with this 34yo divorcée. No kids. From the age difference you can see she's getting the better deal. I don't normally like older women, but she looks like a 9/10 compared to other women her age. 6/10 overall. So it's fine.

We fuck on the second date, and a few days later I ask her out again. She says no because she has to study for this big exam in 12 days. No biggie, I give her space, stop texting her, and game my other women. Text for logistics only, right?

I do exactly that, text her the night after her exam. No response. Figure the prospective plate broke, but no idea why. 9 days later I send another quick text. She goes off on me. Basically says I disappeared after she refused my invite, I didn't even wish her happy birthday (which she claims I knew about because I saw her instagram stories or something). Says she's not mad, we're just not compatible, and still wants to be friends (good luck with that).

Anyways, that's dead on the water, but it's not her I wanted to talk about. I'm right, aren't I? Before you become Chad, - when you're still an average or slightly above average dude - there's really no room for error, is there? One misjudgment and you're done. Even if they're a post-wall divorcée. Even if you have a higher SMV.


Post Information
Title You really can't make any mistakes with women when you're an average guy, can you?
Author clausternn
Upvotes 61
Comments 69
Date 19 March 2019 06:06 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/222561
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b30piz/you_really_cant_make_any_mistakes_with_women_when/
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Comments

[–]SauliusTRP159 points160 points  (2 children) | Copy

Higher SMV yields you more room for mistakes..

[–]Project_Zero_Betas22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only correct answer.

[–]JulianKarlaz9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take this madafaka 🎖️

[–]Blazerman_2486 points87 points  (5 children) | Copy

I don't think you made any mistakes. She is a 30+ y/o divorcee. She sounds like a nut. You made effort. She could have just as easily reached out to you. If it wasn't that, I would have been something else.

Continue working on bettering yourself. You're in the gym but make sure you're eating right. That expedites results.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Post wall women have baggage they’re actually harder to deal with in my experience for this reason. Even when they have a lower SMV they demand more and bitch more

[–]kellykebab14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly right. Only women with peak options will give you an "objective" response to your SMV. Think ages 20-26.

Everyone outside that range is going to have more and more idiosyncratic behavior that is just not reliable as a litmus test for your attractiveness, either because they are too desperate or too picky, too inexperienced or too jaded.

Not that you should never date outside that range, but you're probably going to get much more randomness in their reaction to you.

[–]Productivity100 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He made no mistakes? That's even worse a message.

There's nothing you can do if you're in his position from a behaviour perspective to avoid her rejection?

That idea appears a bit disempowering.

[–]Blazerman_245 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I stand by what I said. Women are irrational sometimes...

I guess he could have over pursued and called her everyday because that works so well for most guys...

Like I said, he made the effort. She is somebody's ex wife for a reason. It's really NBD. She'll probably hit OP up in a few weeks anyway once she realizes he's really not coming back.

[–]0io-26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

No mistakes here. You hit it and quit it. She got laid, which was what she wanted. You're not going to be her betabux (which is what you don't want anyway). It was your turn, I hope you enjoyed yourself.

Now she's on to the next ride on the carousel.

Your only mistake is in your head, that you're thinking of LTR with a 34 year old divorcee who is 7 years older than you. Have your fun with your cougar and let her go. There are plenty more where she came from, don't worry.

The difference between you and Chad is you're still thinking about her and analyzing the situation, and Chad kind of remembers that he hooked up with some divorced woman last week.

[–]SalporinRP21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right. Like /u/SauliusTRP said, higher SMV yields you more room for mistakes. I don't think you did anything wrong necessarily besides maybe texting her the night after her exam. It showed her that you were too invested in her schedule and knew the night she had it.

That being said if she really was interested in you she wouldn't have not agreed to a 3rd date. 12 fucking days to study for an exam? Yeah right. I bet she had time for netflix in those 12 days lol.

My point is, if a girl is really interested in you she'll let you know it. As in she's not gonna tell you that she needs 12 days to study for an exam.

[–]Westernhagen25 points26 points  (7 children) | Copy

In a few years, as her looks and fertility bottom out, you'll see her again on Tinder moaning "Where Are All the Good Men, I Am So Tired Of All the Fuckboys!" and you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you were one of those fuckboys who pumped and dumped her, and also, that she deserves her fate for stupidly rejecting many perfectly decent guys like you. Of course by then you will have moved on, and will not GAF about her tearful lamentations.

[–]clausternn[S] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Exactly what I think. Even smart women (she's a lawyer) are so stupid when it comes to dating.

[–]kellykebab21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

Even smart women (she's a lawyer)

These are almost the worst, dude. These are women who bought the line that ambition, hard work and achievement not only lead to a good income (which they do), but also lead to a high value man and increased attraction from men in general (which they don't). If anything, the more career success a woman has, the fewer male options she has. Most guys are put off by a sufficiently ambitious woman and, given the fact that the woman is going to want to date/marry "up," she now has fewer guys that she's even attracted to in the first place.

Lawyers are also masters at manipulation and rationalization, which is not necessarily a good recipe for contentment in relationships.

[–]steggun_cinargo 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Why would men be put off by an ambitious woman? I would think a contributor is much more desirable than a leach in a relationship, whatever kind of relationship that may be.

[–]kellykebab4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Admittedly my observation is speculative, but it's pretty simple: men don't want to compete with their partners. They want to be uplifted and sustained by their women.

A woman with a high power, high stress job is not likely to be the kind of woman who will nurture her man. A woman with a stable, lower stakes job is going to be much more preferable. This is far different from a leach who does literally nothing, but it's also obviously different from a career woman hell bent on climbing the corporate ladder and who has learned how to effectively compete with men.

Relative to a big time CEO or whatever, a mid-level female lawyer might be attractive I guess. He's still going to be relatively much more ambitious and powerful than her, but he's also going to have far more options than the less successful man. So, is he really going to go for a lawyer as the mother of his kids anyway? I'm not sure the woman's profession has really increased her overall mating odds, even if it places her in closer relative position to the top-level CEO type. He can still happily opt for a model or a nurse or a charity worker or any number of other professionals who aren't going to argue with him.

This leads to my final point: regardless of the woman's ambition level, a lawyer would probably be my last choice for my SO's profession anyway. This personality type is probably going to be a lot more argumentative and strong-willed than, let's say, a nurse or even a doctor.

edit: typo

[–]LordMarkStark2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Such women get some real funny relationship ideas at times.

[–]xddm26531 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

leach in a relationship

You mean a submissive, dependent woman who needs you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not that we don't like ambitious women - its that very ambitious women tend to be non-feminine and more leaderlike at home. i would rather date the cute girl at the taco bell drive thru window who not only understands but enjoys being my copilot than a rich bitch with a dried up vagina who thinks she's God's gift to me. It's all about tendencies and there can be exceptions IE a lawyer who is a great mother, good morals, and knows how to cook for her family. But those are exceptions only

"hey babe would you take me to the bookstore today" VS "after we go to the bookstore i need some things from bed bath beyond etc"

one i am happy to oblige and the other is incredibly shrewish sounding.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can make as many mistakes as you want. There are always more women you can approach, game, isolate, and escalate. There are always more.

You have a Scarcity Mentality which you use to rationalize the vice of impatience. It's not about your SMV or mistakes. You're impatient and you fear a loss of any one single opportunity.

These actually make mistakes a lot worse because it causes you to give a shit, try to backpedal, and lose your frame.

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice one.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire28 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, what you say is true. On the other hand, she probably interpreted your lack of thirst and abundance mentality as bad for long-term prospects. Those two things are great for younger women, who are intrigued by them because they are a pleasant departure from the desperation and thirst they deal with day to day. For women in their thirties, they are impatient, and they want the good thing NOW. Thus, they are the desperate, creepy ones that repel men with their demands.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2227 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually hold women to the standard that if they reject my plans it’s on them to want to reschedule. Anything else I’ve found usually comes off as needy. Bonus is it saves you time, hang out with the girls that say fuck ya to hanging out with you.

[–]ChadTheWaiter10014 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could have just been a crazy bitch bro.

[–]8380atgmaildotcom5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make mistakes with these old hags so that you got reps in when it comes to hot girls

[–]AnyDoughnut4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women will chase you if they think you are much higher SMV. You can apply the typical rarely text aside from logistics thing if that is the case.

Women of her age are typically seeking to lock down a beta male. You have to soften up your game a little bit and add a little bit more comfort and rapport, unless you truly are one high smv dude, which most of us aren't.

To best game women in the 30s you have to learn how to balance dominance, rapport, and comfort.

[–]Anasthaesium4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I bet you didn’t fuck her real good unfortunately . To get them to keep coming for repeats, you gotta make them say stuff in bed and fuck them real good. Empirical data

[–]E9er0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

does screaming in other languages count? how about talking to my penis as if it’s a person

[–]kellykebab4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I definitely wouldn't look at this as your error, though. The problem is that she's crazy. Maybe don't go for 34 year old divorcees in the future.

[–]AnonBro343339 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy

Take it from me. If a girl says you are “incompatible” it’s that you’re using too much game/dread. Texting for logistics is SO outdated. Girls pick up on the fact you’re using game unless you’re a high SMV. If you’re an average guy... well why tf would she waste time on a guy who doesn’t give her any attention when she is probably getting plenty from other dudes of similar quality? Girls thrive off of attention and she realizes she won’t get that from you so she’s probably emotionally detached herself to not worry about it. Girls do that.

[–]satellite7794 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

So basically girls are not into you unless your SMV is high, they just want the attention until something better comes along?

[–]AnonBro343339 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not even necessarily better. Some girls just want different things

But yes. MOSTLY.

SMV is highly opinion based. Everybody has a look standard but some chicks like higher value in specific aspects that some don’t. Some girls date strictly on looks, some strictly on money, some strictly on personality. Rejection doesn’t mean low value necessarily, just maybe not enough value in an aspect that is important to them. Find a chick that has the same “values” as you and it’ll work out

[–]Slut_Slayer90007 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your SMV just needs to be at least at her level, its better if you are higher obviously. Once you understand that women thrive off validation from men they find attractive you can become a G. You feed them validation like a faucet that drips occasionally. They get addicted and keep trying to impress you for the next validation drip. If you give them all the validation they need with them putting little to no effort into you, then that sets the tone for the rest of your relationship with them. They don't have to put in any effort but get to reap the rewards they seek (validation/attention), where as you put in all the effort and get little rewards. Don't be that guy. Be the high value male that she wants to just through hoops for to get her next validation hit.

So sparingly give her validation ONLY WHEN ITS EARNED, and she'll keep coming back for more.

[–]BlackPillHolocaust 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Text for logistics is outdated now? Can TRP make up their minds for once?

[–]AnonBro343330 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

It is outdated. NOBODY is too busy to send a quick text.. it takes 30 seconds. Just don’t be overly available or it’ll make you look pushy. TRP recommends texting for logistics for newbies... if you are good at text game it can only help you

[–]BlackPillHolocaust 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Can you link me to thread where TRP changed official stance on it?

[–]AnonBro343330 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Bro no need to follow TRP by the book. Texting a girl when you aren’t busy shows interest... the point of logistics texting is so you don’t mess anything up. If you text a girl all day and reply in 30 seconds then you’ll look eager

[–]BlackPillHolocaust 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Well, I have to follow something right. So if one person on TRP says text for contact only, then another person says the opposite. Whom to believe?

[–]AnonBro343330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Every situation is different bro. Learn the TRP mentality and apply it to every situation. If you feel that a chick has high interest then why not just talk to her throughout the day when you aren’t busy? The only exception I’d say is when setting up the first date.

[–]3chazthundergut9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You probably weren't a very memorable fuck.

That's the problem with dating women these days. They are all turned out savages with body counts in the triple digits.

But who cares? You fucked her. You got her most valuable asset (pussy), with minimal investment of your own (time).

Take the win and move on to the next one

[–]AstuteBlackMan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She expected you to know her birthday from instagram?

Theres a reason shes divorced man you played it right. Leave the door open but next her

[–]_Anarchon_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You really can't make any mistakes with women when you're an average guy, can you?

It can get exhausting. Game is work. I've been a relative chad for the past 48 years. It doesn't require work for normal plates, but for any kind of LTR the saying holds true. I'm leaning towards MGTOW just because it gets old. Ya get tired of the bullshit.

[–]_Legendairy_ 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

become better than a average guy

[–]E9er2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

hold my beer, i got this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't eat expired Christmas cake. It will make you sick.

[–]opper-hombre12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What about that part of gaming women? Do that.

[–]xddm26532 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doesn't matter, had sex

[–]CainPrice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You seriously think not texting her when she blew you off and not wishing a woman you'd met twice and fucked once a happy birthday was a "mistake"?

Not every fuck turns into a consistent thing. She politely let you down with the "I'm spending the next 12 days studying" line, but you actually bothered her again and made her come up with some reason to more directly reject you. You missed the hint.

[–]CanuckinFL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think a week no chit chat after a first bedding is too long unless you feel you really rocked her world that first time. Unfortunately in this case I think you were too composed. You may have had to step in the batters box again a little sooner. If you had sex, and it was only mediocre for her, you get that lukewarm post play response. Only option then really is to show her a little ‘leg’ (that you’re into her). I think you broke rapport unintentionally, but didn’t bring your A game to the bedroom. If so, then you activated more ASD, not less. And god help you if she feels you made her a one night stand. Women expect a lot when you bed them it seems.

[–]WizardSenpai1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

"not great at talking/game" - this is the real problem here assuming you're clean.

[–]clausternn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're not wrong. Talking's never been my forte. Before or after TRP.

[–]WizardSenpai1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

go practice

[–]Startlivingfornow1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a comfort test you fuck head. By the time a chick hits 34 her insecure meter jumps 10 levels and the need to shit test is just to check she’s not dating a faggot.

It’s like the first sibling starting to realise they aren’t that important anymore.

Should have hit her with:

That’s unfortunate, I thought we had a good connection when I saw you the other day. I’m sure we will both have no trouble finding other people.

And gone cold.

That last line would have made her insides curl. Fucking lol. Finding someone at 34 is like finding a gold coin in a pile of shit.

Good luck

[–]E9er1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that’s why you plate? so no feelings get attached and if you break a plate by one it’s literally a fart in the wind! but if you only got 2 you gone be sprung analyzing every move. you did what you did now move on and plate others. or are you looking for a relationship because that’s something completely different!! remember you don’t own anything it’s just your turn at the moment

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve seen The “not compatible” shit test a lot, agreeing and amplifying it is good, but I think you dodged a bullet with this one.

[–]clausternn[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’ve seen The “not compatible” shit test a lot, agreeing and amplifying it is good

How would you do that? "Yeah you're definitely right, you're a Scorpio and I'm a Leo" ?

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah something like that or “I used yeah you like to pineapple on your pizza and I don’t it could never work funny stupid things like that can really lighten the mood. Just always be willing to walk away if need be don’t chase her.

[–]LordMarkStark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not thinking straight. Maybe her ex stopped taking an interest in her. Things are never perfect.

Edit: you slept with her. That's a win. Then she thought about how fucked up her life was and how fragile she is. It's probably more to do with her workload. I also think she over reacted or wants to pursue other guys in the future instead of specifically anything you did.

Yeah she broke. But she did it to herself. Next time you could do what over time I've just done, instead of making a busy girl conform, ask her if she'll let you know when she's free. Worth a shot to say at some juncture you'll let me know when you're free, right? Then you arrange something solid after not talking to her until then.

If she wants to stay friends she's probably concerned about losing you entirely. It's probably more to do with her than you. But maybe you'll fuck her again.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ah, start thinking more about your own standards, and what you want. Do you want a chick who tell you she needs to study, then gets mad when you literally give her time to study? Who wants to deal with that sort of shit? One way you raise your smv, is becoming a guy who reads red flags and says 'fuck that'.

You could say you 'made a mistake' by not texting within that time. The truth is, you just weren't a needy motherfucker. Next.

[–]Yashugan001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

woman gets mad at you for perceived slight she you think it's your fault? she gaslighted you to have a socially acceptable excuse to break up that would make it "not her fault". you didn't make a mistake, other than not go to the gym

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn't a mistake to refrain from pestering her with texts after she declined the third date and said she had to study. You handled it right. She just gave you a ridiculous excuse. She either never was that interested or lost interest for some reason, probably because she met someone else. Who knows, some beta ex may have confessed his everlasting love for her and proposed marriage or something. In any event, I don't see any mistakes on your part from your post. RP isn't a magic bullet. Some girls just aren't interested or lose interest for whatever reason. A big part of RP is learning to recognize that and not wasting your time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why do you think some girls stay in relationships where the boyfriend constantly fucks up? Its cause the girl has a high level of interest. The higher level of interest the wider room for mistakes.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Hm. I’ve repeatedly lied to my gf ab the same thing, countless times and she never left.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol. Let me rephrase- she caught me lying about the same thing multiple times.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What was it, if you don't mind me asking?

[–]randomfire94 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

she caught him lying about lying multiple lies

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LMFAO

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

C’mon man. What were you hoping for here?

She’s clearly inappropriate for an LTR and even she knows it.

So, you guys got horny and fucked. That’s a win.

After...Maybe she met someone else. Maybe she thought the sex was just ok. Maybe Saturn was 30 degrees from Mars. For whatever reason she isn’t that interested, so she started drama.

I would next. I don’t know why you thirsty fuckers keep chasing older women.

[–]Don_Draper270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm right, aren't I?

There's no right and wrong. Only getting laid or not.

Accept your loss here and take from it what you can. Maybe stop following your plates on social media. Seek and spin more plates. Improve your SMV. Stop being a beta and victimizing yourself.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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