Out of all the advice Ive read on TRP being aware of who’s frame the conversation is in has made the biggest change for me.

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March 25, 2019

When thinking about this my anxiety and worry fades away and it’s a lot easier to conversate I have no idea why maybe it’s placebo but it’s working for me really well after only using it for the first time today

Post Information
Title Out of all the advice Ive read on TRP being aware of who’s frame the conversation is in has made the biggest change for me.
Author rockyp32
Upvotes 67
Comments 26
Date 25 March 2019 03:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/223230
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b5bzmk/out_of_all_the_advice_ive_read_on_trp_being_aware/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
framethe red pill

[–]rnsbrum33 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can you please elaborate

[–]addwater47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like to think of it as each person has their own agenda they are trying to push / box they are trying to put you in when interacting with you.

Maintaining frame is essentially maintaining your own stance / belief / ideas / composure / sense of entitlement without being rattled by anything they say or do.

Maintaining frame is communicated by everything. Your voice, stance, posture, eye contact, actions. It's clear when someone maintains frame vs becomes reactive or suplicative and enters someone else's.

Essentially whoever has the stronger frame is subconciously viewed by all involved as higher status / superior / objectively correct / more confident in any given situation and essentially walks away having won the interaction

When it boils down to it, regular people usually always submit in one way or another to those who have a perceived stronger sense / understanding of reality aka. frame than they.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is shaping the world rather than being shaped by it.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just in conversation instead of overthinking on what’s the right thing to talk about I would just think who’s frame is guiding the conversation? Am I submitting into their frame too much? Then if I feel I’m submitting into their frame I’ll just immediately think about trying to control the frame and so I kinda go from being pulled into their frame to pushing away metaphorically. For example I noticed I was being submissive in a conversation with a guy from my class by just worrying about what they’re thinking about me or how they may judge me then I flopped it around and expressed my self naturally. It’s really hard to explain I guess I just payed attention to whatever frame the convos in and I would try to I guess put more of my frame in there. Like normally I’d be a little afraid to walk up to some random classmate aquantince but I just thought about controlling the frame then started chatting him up. Not really sure how it works tbh but it felt like it did.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

frame is a young man's word. When you get older you naturally give less fucks. Try finding a guy in his 30's or older who still has anxiety. They exists but are far fewer in number.

It's the guy who either cares the least, believes his world view is correct, and can smell bullshit from a mile away who will win the "frame" game. It's just harder for younger people because they still haven't had enough life experience yet.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is ones reality vs. another's reality. The one with more life experience is generally the one who will win the "frame" game. Check out any interaction between someone younger and someone older you can sense it.

[–]Anasthaesium7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

While you learn that you should also learn about the Trojan frame flip.

[–]iwviw22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a wrestling move

[–]Korque_35 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Epic nigga moment 😎

[–]ChadTheWaiter1002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is that?

[–]meowsero0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Can you link something about this?

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's a joke. Like the Trojans pretending to submit to another frame (the gift) and then completely derailing their frame with an attack move.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh that’s smart haha that’d be funny to use

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What’s that

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's fairly simple; don't placate. If you're worried about the other person reacting negatively to what you say, you're in their frame. If you don't, you're fine.

Don't be afraid of people not liking you for being yourself, don't adjust your thoughts or beliefs or actions to "soften" them because you're afraid of turning somebody off to you, because believe it or not doing so will turn them off to you.

I took a girl I had just met home a few years back, some how during foreplay/pillow talk politics came up. I'm right, she's left. She got up and started getting dressed because she didn't think she could hang with a dude who voted for Trump. I said, "that sucks I don't want you to go but if that's a hang up for you, I get it." And I meant it, I didn't want her to go, but I also understand trying to convince her I'm somebody I'm not would get her out the door faster. She ended up coming around for months after that.

If I had tried to placate, smooth it over, or do anything to convince her to stay, she wouldn't have. I was comfortable with the fact that being myself means not everyone is gonna wanna fuck with me, and if she leaves, bummer, but oh well.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah that is by far my biggest problem. I second guess a lot of my actions and what I want to say before I say them because I think the people that hear them will Judge it negatively. But yeah I guess that’s what I did less of today was placate. I noticed kinda restricting my natural self so nothing goes wrong in a convo then I started saying what I really wanted to say

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've found there's a balance you have to strike, not between placating or not, but between contributing honestly (from the self) to a convo and what is you just adding "filler" too.

If you're going to question your words before you speak, question how the thought contributes instead of how it will be received.

"Do I need to say this or am I just flapping my lips?"

[–]Zakkaro2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes! Although its not something you switch on/off, its the result of your new knowledge accumulated over weeks of reading ..at least

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tbh I don’t read too much on here

[–]Kommanderdude 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Apparently trp doesn’t help op with his grammar.

[–]WindIsMyMusic5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Or with the general delivery of thought. I'd overlook the bad grammar, but I just can't understand tf is he trying to say

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I actually found it pretty clear.

[–]TFWnoLTR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's probably regional. This looks like a post I could have typed on my phone after a work meeting where this occurred to me.

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I mean I just wrote it didn’t really care to look it over

[–]rockyp32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not great in English

[–]Nesqin-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

whose* instead of who is maybe?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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