TL;DR Live-in GF has last-minute decided not to follow me for job, wondering how I can salvage
Disclaimer: I am posting to a married RP sub because we are effectively in that kind of relationship.
I am moving for work in July. My gf lives with me now for over a year. We have met each other's families and marriage was somewhere in the plan, but the relationship has gotten EXTREMELY stale over the past time she's been here.
I have periodically checked with her throughout the year and she has always said, yes of course I'm coming with you. Her finding a job in the new area requires months of prep work for licensing, etc. I check in again and she drops this bomb on me about, oh maybe it's not such a good idea since our relationship is not in a good place right now. We're 3 months away. Not starting the process now effectively means it's not happening.
First of all, I agree. Don't move in with somebody if your relationship is stale.
But then she also thinks that we can stay together after I move. The distance we're talking about is about a 2 hour train ride. For me, I'm busy as shit. I'm a doctor. That's going to complicate life in a way that I don't want.
So I immediately tell her this sounds like a terrible idea. Right, don't move away from your home (we are still near her fam right now) if you don't feel good about somebody. But you think turning a relationship into distance is something that will make it stronger? That's just bullshit thinking.
My questions for you guys are:
Is this the nail in the coffin? Am I correct in thinking this is now a truly dead relationship and she's just too weak to breakup like she actually wants to?
Is it possible to save this sort of situation?
Is there a chance she is actually right and my gut instinct about the distance thing being bad is totally wrong?