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Single guys who have a vasectomy how did it change your life?

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March 28, 2019
66 upvotes

Guys I'm in my early 40's, single and no kids, never been married. Don't want kids or to be baby trapped. I have been considering a vasectomy for about five years now and want to know if anyone has experienced a change in sex life. The only guys that I have spoken to about this are married still and already have kids. There's a local doctor who is a pro at the procedure and I can pay for it with my employer's health savings card so it's really something I want to do. Any advice and shared experiences from single guys is much appreciated.


Post Information
Title Single guys who have a vasectomy how did it change your life?
Author Lorddevonshire
Upvotes 66
Comments 54
Date 28 March 2019 11:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/223602
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b6pp4j/single_guys_who_have_a_vasectomy_how_did_it/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed84 points85 points  (19 children) | Copy

Best thing I ever did for my sex life. I'm not single but I've spun plates for years in an unconventional marriage.

Been snipped for about ten years now (I'm 48) and I wish I'd done it sooner.

Like you, I knew my whole life I never wanted kids.

The procedure itself was easy. Talk to the urologist. Most want a consult appointment to see if you're serious and competent in your wishes, then schedule another day for the procedure. I must have been convincing because he had me hop up on the table right after our chat.

Quick shot of no-needle jet anaesthetic to the scrotum, feels like somebody flicked it with their finger.

Chatted as the meds numbed then he made a small single incision (I can't find the scar now) in the middle through which he could reach both vas.

Slight cramping as he pulled a loop of vas deferens out through the hole. He snipped off a section (white spaghetti) then cauterized (burned shut) both ends. After that he added tiny metal clips to both ends as well. The body is apparently pretty good at reversing the procedure.

Same treatment on the other side. Glued up the incision.

Swelling and pain for the next two weeks, but I was back to work in 3 days. Every once in a while you'd get a sharp twinge, but it was basically a deep ache like you feel after getting kicked in the nuts.

Had to bring back two sperm samples to make sure it was a success, After a week or so, and not your first bust... gotta clear the tubes of potential leftovers) and that was it. (I fucked with the front desk clerk and placed a full 120cc specimen cup full of skim milk on the counter - {normal ejaculate volume is about 5-10cc}, then opened and drank it when questioned. I'm an asshole.)

Best thing I ever did.

Function unaffected. I can feel the clips if I go looking for them, but it's otherwise normal.

You still have to worry about STD's of course, so I still condom up with new partners until we don't have to.

Not having the anxiety of potentially getting a woman pregnant every time you fuck her is amazing. You can just concentrate on the fucking.

Being able to bury yourself balls deep in her and just fill her without concern or rubber insulation is AMAZING. Now a woman can and should be on birth control, but this way I have the ultimate birth control. And that makes a difference. You're not dependent on whether she remembers to take a pill.

I also believe women desire to be ejaculated in on some deep level. I noticed an increase in my plate retention times.

It also cemented my belief that I was not ever going to be monogamous, that I would never settle down and have a family. There's a difference between knowing that intellectually and actually becoming incapable of reproducing. I'll never be trapped by an "oops" baby.

If you know you don't want kids, there are no downsides. I highly recommend.

[–]menial_optimist45 points46 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the response.

I also believe women desire to be ejaculated in on some deep level. I noticed an increase in my plate retention times.

I have noticed this. I've actually had women who genuinely did not want kids at that time blurt out "Cum in me" when it was really intense, embarrassed about it after. I've asked women before if while they're fucking if there were no consequences at all would they want to get pumped full of cum, and they all said yes. It's the basic human wiring really, females worship the load, and we worship dumping the load.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can confirm this as well

[–]EramSumEro5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I apologize for this uneducated question, but have your ejaculations changed at all in terms of pleasure, consistency, volume, etc?

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely no difference.

Makes sense as ejaculate is only 2-5% sperm.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

Is this reversible in any way?

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

There's some low success rate surgical reversal techniques.

If you really really want to change your mind (why would you get a vasectomy if you're not sure though?), then you can have somebody stick a needle into your testicle/distal vas and extract some sperm.

[–]blackjustin2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

wat.
That sounds awful,

[–]Garathon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then don't get a vasectomy, duh.

[–]KeyboardTuba1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is not true. Yes, best to not regret it and the longer you wait the lower the chance of success, but within 10 years you have 85% or higher success. Choose a urologist who did a fellowship in Mens Health, as they can connect the vas to the epididymis along with aspirating sperm from the testicle and bank it for an emergency stash.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I capitulate.

My info is admittedly over ten years old and since I have no irons in that fire I haven't kept up.

A casual skim of the literature still shows a 30-90% success rate, which seems highly variable.

Again, should be irrelevant to those who get the procedure in the first place.

[–]KeyboardTuba2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right, best answer is to be firm in the decision. Some of those reversals can suck if the first one was a hackjob.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I struggle to get a straight answer though, does it reduce pleasure of sex in any way shape or form AND does it reduce testosterone or sex drive in anyway shape or form??

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

No reduction in sexual pleasure at all.

Your testicles produce two things, sperm and testosterone.

Sperm is carried away by the vas deferens to be ejaculated, it's a product, like saliva.

Testosterone is carried away in the bloodstream, it's a hormone, like insulin.

Since you're not affecting blood flow at all, testosterone production and distribution are unaffected.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

So you’re saying other than ‘not being able to reproduce’ there are no downsides?

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

[–]RossDDMarshalls1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Super curious about how the skim milk gag went down. Was it premeditated? Do they give out skim milk to patients? How did the desk clerk react? More details please.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The nurse and the waiting room all cracked up. It's a "serious" place in there, because genitals. Fuck that.

Of course premeditated. Specimen cups from Amazon. Filled at home. I had the real sample in my bag.

There was a second of absolute silence as I dropped the full cup right on the counter in plain view (you usually keep it in a paper bag) and then the wide eyes as she realized it was Full.

The waiting room inhabitants were watching, when she questioned the volume I feigned being indignant and told her to forget it, I'll recycle it, then chugged.

Again shock curling into laughter.

It hurt my aching balls to laugh that hard, but worth it.

[–]red2hilt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you so much for taking the time to make this very detailed post. Awesome!

[–]temerity188 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

It vastly improved my life. I am certain no leech will trap me and no government will rob me of half of my earnings. No government will encarcerate me or enslave me. Sex is great with such peace of mind. By far the best decision of my life. I know for sure of at least one leech who tried to get pregnant from me, because she said so. Life would have been utter misery if she succeeded.

[–]mala_madre12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

I talked with my ex about getting a vasectomy and she told me to not be open about it with future women if I did get one. She said it would be a turn-off.

Bad advice or some truth in it?

[–]CaptainKidd9624 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course it's a turnoff. They know that they have 0 chances with locking you down with an unwanted child.

[–]chaching13136 points37 points  (24 children) | Copy

Isn't anyone scared of ending their genetic line? I feel like life from the beginning is one big battle to pass on ones genetics and you guys are willingly throwing in the towel.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think TRP is pretty misguided when it comes to raising children and having them. Yeah banging girls on a rotating basis would be fun (it isn’t binary as well). But I’m not sure how that compares to raising a respectful son or daughter who is hard working and healthy!

[–]elbow_ham25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think so. Think of all the suffering and struggle our ancestors went through to get us here--plagues, mass starvation, ice ages-- it seems like hubris to decide it stops because we're a from a certain generation and want to spin plates or chase other hedonistic goals.

There's useful wisdom in trp, but it comes with a whole lot of the ugliness; it's like the misguided inversion of modern feminism. Clearly not the answer either.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah my great grandfathers and great-great grandfathers went through WWI & 2 and the Great Depression. They were badass and it feels great to know we’re genetically connected and are in a way the same person. To not pass down that badass nature is wrong.

Yeah if you get divorced and get forced to pay child support - that could be tops $200k over 18 years? Children might be expensive, but what does it mean to have another $200k and not have a genetic line when you’re 80 and on death’s door step? That $200k aint mean crap brothers.

[–]Atheist_Utopia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly my thoughts.

[–]CalfReddit1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you want and like kids sure, if you don't then don't get them. You should take of your own happiness and taking kids while not wanting them isn't alpha neither smart

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have to say as a single dad with a 20 mo old son I'm conflicted because there is a dormant part of our nature to be a father, and its huge. People looks at the cost or the time involved, they think the man is entirely suffering, but there is a genuine pleasure from being there and raising my son. Every new book I get him and read him, every wholesome meal... even every single successful move I make in my career is like a huge feedback loop of pleasure knowing that my son is sorted.

I'm a single Dad, I can still get my fair share of pussy, and women love single Dads, they fucken love them. I'm missing out on some spare time which I probably would have pissed away on non productive shit anyway.

I do miss not having anyone depend on me and my actions though.... it fundamentally rewires your brain when you become a father... its a one way door and you cannot ever go back through it.

I'm thankful for the outcome, even if I was less aware of that fact 9 months ago, when going through a nasty divorce... now marriage on the other hand, FUCK DO I REGRET THAAT!!!!

[–]whuttupfoo6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always see this argument but what benefit does it give you? I mean cool, your genetics live on, but you won’t be there to see it. By the third generation, they will have no idea who you are, or even care about your ”nobility”. Your values and influence won’t even reach the third generation. That third generation could turn out to be some fucked up vegan trans couple with a 12 year old drag queen son who twerks on stage for Funny Money™️. They even got their dog Hubert gender reassignment surgery because he liked wearing pink tutus and hated playing fetch.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed16 points17 points  (7 children) | Copy

Your genes are using you, not the other way around.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (6 children) | Copy

That’s a beta way of thinking about it

[–]DrizzlyShrimp36-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

I’d tend to agree with you but I’m curious to see the other dude’s explanation to his statement

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

"Pass on your genes." "Leave a legacy." "Make babies."Create a long bloodline."

Our sex drive is derived from our genetic imperative to reproduce, for males to spread their seed far and wide.

We all know that's a powerful thing. Hence "your genes are using you".

But this is where you fuck up and get it backwards...it's beta behavior to provide for a child.

Alphas impregnated every uterus they could and kept on trucking, leaving the women and the betas to raise their children.

Making babies is alpha, raising babies is beta.

Society has been trying to control the population and the minds of the population for centuries. Alphas are trouble in a community as they're difficult to control and cause drama. "Sir Fucksalot was in my wife's bedchamber... again!"

So, the institution of marriage, the demonization of casual sex, the idea of the "bastard", the push to make 3 or 4 little well controlled betas that would grow up quietly and brainwashed enough to act according to the doctrine of the church and state and pay both entities without complaint.

You see how the family is a construct designed to assist society, not the individual?

So fuck off with your notions of continuing your genetic line, it's a well imbedded societal means of controlling the betas. It works because it's aspirational and feels good on the surface. Like Disney.

But it doesn't behoove the individual in any way to raise children.

Look at who's making the most babies... Walmart redneck retards. Think they're proud of their genetic legacy?

Also, what does a legacy mean to you? You're dead, remember.

Having kids is the opposite of looking out for number one.

[–]Trosso3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

if you're a nihilistic monkey who cares about nothing except his own gratification, sure.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

What else is there to care about? Seriously, when you drill down?

[–]Trosso4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sure, you could look at it like that. It entirely comes down to how you as an individual find 'meaning', if any at all.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

[–]Imtoosexyformypants7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your genetic line ? Your traits get pretty muddled fast. Yes you are tied in some way but they won’t look anything like you after a few generations and everything else. Think about it.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Idk man - my great grandfather used to pace around when he was anxious or stressed. My grandma (his daughter) said both myself and my father do that.

[–]GainzdalfTheWhey6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do that too, woah were related

[–]zxcvb78096 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If throwing in the towel means not paying or taking the risk of paying child support for 18 years per kid at a percentage of your income. When that is factored in with what is paid for taxes you are looking at living off half of your income or less. How will you save for retirement? What will happen to the quality of your life? Is genetic reproduction really so important that you reduce the quality of your life to being poor when there are 7.5 + billion people on the planet?

[–]BoredToDeathx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not scared at all, I'm 23 and I'm getting a vasectomy.

[–]laserdicks3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life became a lot more than that quite some time ago

[–]tilleuno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best things a person can do for the planet and our inevetable demise these days is to NOT have a child.

Plus its somewhat like it is with dogs, pets..adopting is so much of a better route than just having one of your own. There's so many children without parents, and with birth rates as alarming as they are - having a vasectomy is a really thoughtful move.. even if it is just to enjoy guilt free mind numbing orgasms inside every damned time.

[–]bobjoe1773 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm involuntarily snipped( side effect of surgery) and have found that for short term hookup scenarios it's the best- girls are almost immediately down with no holds barred unprotected sex.

Pretty much the only barrier is my imagination. As for long term prospects, they're initially down with the fun of it, but when push comes to shove, they want kids. I'm 31 and yet to find a girl where kids being a non option has not been a breaking point. Of course were I of a more Machievellian mindset, I wouldn't have to be so forthcoming about my sterility- but I think that all lies reveal themselves. I guess it depends on how you choose to frame your reproductive choices.

[–]mrdeeds19724 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had it done 11 years ago at 35. Was married and 3 kids. Did it because it's "easier for the guy"; was simping at the time. Wife at the time cheated the next year.

After the fallout I often regretted it because my blue pill mentality told me that I would never be able to offer another woman a child.

Turns out it was the best decision of my life. It does make women wet when you can nut fully in them without fear of pregnancy.

[–]Nergaal5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's weird to see so many intelligent guys on TRP deliberately, 100% throw in the towel. I personally have a hard time distinguishing this mentality from that of clueless ?feminists? who don't want kids cause the world is overpopulated... by people in Africa and Asia.

[–]Wolosocu[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 44, never married and one child. Got my GF pregnant when I was 17, daughter was born when I was 18. Got the same baby mama pregnant about two years later and another girl pregnant when I was 24, both of those pregnancies were terminated. After the last one I decided I was done playing with fire.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Nearly twenty years now, I never have to worry about some woman trying to trap me. I hear my friends stress about their girlfriend being "late" and I can't even relate because it's been so long. I haven't worried about getting a girl pregnant in as long as some of the girls hitting on me nowadays have been alive.

My sex life as a result has been a little reckless since. I have rarely used condoms even when I probably should have. Luckily I've been fortunate and have never contracted anything.

Ever since I was a kid I always knew I only wanted one child. I had her at a young age, so I was content being snipped.

If you're content with the kids you do or don't have then I cannot recommend a vasectomy highly enough.

[–]SgtRimjob 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I wish I knew... cant find a doctor who will do it. I work a high profile type job, and many women have tried to lock me down. Along with some hell relationships through law school and my early career, I made the decision to never have kids or marry. Told this to my GP, who actually related and recommended me a few specialty doctors. Went and saw a couple, and they refused because I don’t already have kids and I’m “too young” (I’m 28). GP even made some phone calls and no dice.

[–]genethedog2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When my GP and when my urologist asked me if I was sure (because I don't have kids) I said I'm not going to be on the plantation. Both of them had the look on their face like " say no more".

I just had it done in January I'm 43 years old.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Might have to take a vacation out of state.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I personally wouldn't do it, though I'm not going to quarrel with others who've made the opposite decision. I like women knowing I can dump them and go impregnate some young hottie if I want to. I've also noted a tendency of the medical community to brush off potential side effects, similar to how it does with oral contraceptives. I wouldn't screw around with my autoimmune system or naturally designed reproductive system; others may find the risks acceptable.

With single men, the calculus is different. Married men are almost always forced to do it by their wives. The stated reasons for it are never convincing. Instead the wives want control over them and to know they can't leave and have kids with a younger woman. Their female doctors often assist them in the vasectomy push. If you were married or in an LTR, I'd say definitely don't do it.

[–]memer935115-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have a vasectomy you are willingly ending your genetic line in favor of hedonistic pleasure.

Would. Not. Recommend.



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