So, I'm several months into my MAP. Have good lifts, look good, and have an active life. One thing I started doing from the get go (and more and more as time goes on) is tending to my needs first, of course with situational prioritization (ex // if one of my kids needs my help and input for the annual science fair and has limited time to work on it, I would rearrange my schedule to accommodate, OR if my wife had a company event at her work and asked me to come, I'd gladly go with her)
That being said, as I began to prioritize my own needs and life, and take responsibility and action to get those needs met, my wife has occasionally bitched about it, by calling me a selfish asshole, and saying (in a shrewish and mocking tone) things like, "I forgot, your needs and wants come first... I just need to learn my place." I just shrug it off and say, "ok" in my mind, and I stopped DEERing. I used to try and please her, but I've significantly mitigated that behavior.
I assume this is just shit test resistance to see if I hold my frame. My wife is respectful almost all the time and we have a decent sex life (I'd like more frequency, but it's always passionate and high quality sex). I just see this as an attempt to shit test and gain control over me in some fashion. Thoughts?