Struggling with loss of 10 year LTR

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April 2, 2019
67 upvotes

I know this post is going to scream insecurity but it’s the biggest change in my life and I need to vent. I don’t even know where to start so this might just seem like endless rambling.

We were friends and met in high school. A couple years later we started dating and fell in love. We were only 16 at the time and stayed together for 10 years. We stuck together, invested in each other, and supported each other. She pushed me to go through college and graduate with my degree and even helped me pay off loans. She did a lot for me, she moved in with me in my parents house after 4 years and cooked for me, cleaned, and did what she thought would make me happy. We had a great sex life and took each other’s virginities. She was a cuck and loved it when I would mess around with other women and always fantasized about having threesomes and being submissive to me. But I was a beta and those opportunities were few and far between for me.

She would make a good housewife but she also had her flaws. She was needy for my attention and eventually I stopped seeing friends because I wanted to see her. I started to plan events for just the two of us because I was so emotionally dependent on her. I got complacent the last couple years. I was working 60 hours a week and when I got home all I wanted to do was be with her. It was comforting.

She had huge insecurities with her looks and with money. In the 10 years we were together she went from a 4/5 to a 7/8. She lost weight, started using make up, and had braces done which has probably the biggest physical insecurity she had. I made the same kind of transformation going from a ugly fat guy to someone most women would consider handsome.

She controlled the finances in our relationship and I felt like I needed to ask for permission to buy the things I wanted. She would say that she wanted me happy and to actually go ahead and spend it but I always had to second guess whether it was a good idea or not. We were living at my parents saving a ton of money so we could buy a house and start our lives together. I was starting to get depressed working a job I thought was beneath me because it provided stability. I was living at home when I wanted to be independent and start living our own life. I wanted to buy a bunch of shit and do things that I thought really aligned with my identity and pursue my hobbies and interests. But I always felt like I needed to buy our house first before I could indulge in these things.

She grew up poor and had a huge problem with money. She never felt like she was secure with it even when we had so much saved up. And it’s not like she had a spending problem or wanted to live some extravagant lifestyle. She just never felt like it was enough to make her feel safe.

I was starting to feel depressed for a long time thinking that whatever I did wouldn’t be enough to attain what I wanted. I was the one that was motivated to have a nice house, a nice car, vacations and hobbies but felt powerless in getting them.

She broke up with me a few months ago and I become so needy and unattractive in her eyes. I was unconfident and depressed I would buy her gifts to show her my affection and beg her to take me back. I even helped her buy a new fucking car. It worked once or twice but all the problems we had always came back. I had no power in our relationship and I couldn’t change myself from being depressed. I was honestly trying to work on myself and figure out what was wrong with me so I could give her a happy relationship but nothing worked.

She moved out to her sisters house and soon after started talking to some guy in another state. She lied to me about it and said it was because I wouldn’t take it well. No shit. I started trying to stand up for myself and putting on a fake alpha persona. I would get angry at her and try to control her and it would get her slightly attracted but eventually my already weak frame broke and she had absolutely zero interest in me.

We spoke on the phone last Tuesday and she told me she is going to give this guy a chance and how much of a great guy he was. She told me he knows what he wants. He’s confident, independent, and has his shit together. I wished her the best.

Feeling defeated and lost I gave in to her demands when we split our joint account the next day. I felt like maybe it’s how I wanted to end things being nice to her. We met for an hour and talked about how our relationship went. I gave her closure. That same day she left and went on a trip with her new guy and went back to his hometown and she’s still there.

I’ve been reading books trying to take my mind off things but I can’t believe I’ve been so much of a fucking pussy. I still want her back and I’m still thinking of how I could regain her attraction. How I can become more of a man so I could lead us. I’m slowly realizing all the shit that was wrong with both of us but I just can’t help but feel like a failure. Like maybe if I had a few of these revelations sooner things might have worked out. I helped build her up just for her to leave.

I know this is nothing new to you guys but I just didn’t believe it could happen to me.


Post Information
Title Struggling with loss of 10 year LTR
Author HillarysCell-mate
Upvotes 67
Comments 75
Date 02 April 2019 02:55 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/224044
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b8dikr/struggling_with_loss_of_10_year_ltr/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]CharlesChadworth114 points115 points  (15 children) | Copy

Never understood why guys try to be nice after a break up. Or like in another post where a girl cheated on a dude for him to give her a week to get herself sorted out at his place lol..

Then and there I would tell her to pack her shit now or she will find it out on the porch within 2 hours.

Once the relationship is over you owe her absolutely fucking nothing.

[–]Ironic_Gangster43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Never understood why guys try to be nice after a break up." Answer: Blue pill conditioning. This subreddit exists for that reason, bucko.. to break the conditioning.

[–]CharlesChadworth10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very valid point.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (9 children) | Copy

Yeah, you're such a man in your imagination. That hypothetical break up practically didn't take any toll on you.

The real world is far more messy and hard. Don't assume you wouldn't do the same thing after a 10 year LTR. While it is blue, he broke frame and acted from weakness, it's part of the learning process.

[–]CharlesChadworth4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Ahhh you are one of those boys that posts shit on fb or IG like " Don't give your heart to anyone it will only end up broken" 😂 pathetic loser.

Broke up with a gf of 4 years after a friend saw her kiss a guy at a party, did I feel like shit yea, did I let her stay at my place for a few weeks, fuck no. Her shit was out within the day.

I guess some men have balls and move on, while others such as yourself wait around like a bitch in hope's bebe will come back. Cringe.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I think it's very mature and nice that you were able to reach up to the keyboard, and typed out your comment like a big boy, without needing a stool. I'm very proud of you.

[–]CharlesChadworth-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

I think you are on the wrong sub mate, blue pill is that way <---

[–]montana12345-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

You need to control yourself. You still have a long way to go

[–]CharlesChadworth0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

This sub exists due to people such as yourself. You let women walk all over you then cry about what happened. Man the fuck up.

If you are able to let your gf cheat on you then support her by allowing her to overextend her stay at you premises, then you have a long way to go.

[–]montana123450 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not OP but ok.

[–]CharlesChadworth0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you sympathize with that sort of mentality, you might as well be.

[–]montana123450 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I do not and never would tolerate such a thing. Nonetheless your emotional control is non existing

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never understood why guys try to be nice after a break up.

Same reason boys run crying back to mom, trying to suck up to her after she tells him he's grounded to his room the rest of the night. Emotional dependency.

Where else could he possibly go? (Scarcity Mentality) What's he going to do, run away from momma? (learned helplessness and dependency.)

[–]organicfluxx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They have been I doctrinated to view women as above them.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not going to mince words with you. Once you've dealt with your own teenage children, seeing men who act the same way in marriages will not amuse you.

Read- No More Mr Nice Guy.

The issue is you got into an LTR way too soon, before you had lived independently as a man, and had to deal with women's rejections. So you immediately hopped from your biological mom, over to a GF-then-wife who was too eager at first to mother you and play at the housewife. You never had to struggle from an entitled, lazy, dependent teenage boy, to become a contender. For you, this was as good as poison.

> I was honestly trying to work on myself and figure out what was wrong with me so I could give her a happy relationship but nothing worked.

This is exactly how a boy relates to his mother. I hope you realize this. The exact same dynamic.

She can do no wrong in his eyes, obsessed with getting validation and attention from her, always trying to bargain what he sees as his best intentions in exchange for her ocassional approval.

This is not how a captain treats his junior first mate.

You have to understand that she is did you a huge solid by refusing to enable your continued infantilism, this is in fact the greatest gift she could have given you.

The real cruelty is that she didn't do it 4-5 years earlier. Her moving on to a tough, saavy man who treated her like the insecure nervous, bratty, dramatic, irresponsible teenager she secretly sees herself as, this is a huge favor to you. Don't forget it. (I'm not saying women can't be responsible, but they don't like being forced to be there and it goes against the grain for most.)

Remember that for a woman to tolerate continued weakness and immaturity in her sex partner, doesn't serve anyone, especially not him.

Back in the 60's and 70's this kind of problem was solved by an unplanned pregnancy. Nothing like an actual baby to make a woman sick of having to herd a feckless manchild around like another baby, She might have found it mildly charming before she had a real baby to handle..

[–]BusterVadge7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing to add to this... This is fucking GREAT advice. OP, if you're still around read NMMNG and also internalize the other stuff that he wrote. It's all spot on.

[–]rnsbrum1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking great, specially the baby part

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sunk cost fallacy bro. Let the 10 years thing go.

You know what you should do? You should rejoice because you dodged a bullet. Then you should get angry. Sounds like she was controlling and a shrew. She couldn't trust you to do shit. What kind of man could ever flourish in that environment? She definitely didn't respect you, because she didn't let you have your own life. Sounds like there's a cultural element here, so I won't say much about living with your parents, but that probably put a damper on things... I wouldn't be surprised if you had a dead bedroom.

You should get really angry. You should take that anger out on the gym, get strong and fit, get game, and fuck tons of bitches. Nothing fills a woman with regret like seeing her ex flourish. Also, not to add insult to injury, but I guarantee she 100% is using your sadness as ammo for her monologue she's got prepared about how she left you and why.

Stop fueling her fire.

Now that you know what a shitty LTR looks like, go spin plates and have some fun for a while.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sunk cost fallacy bro. Let the 10 years thing go.

Blows my mind how many people don't recognize this when it's staring them right in the face.

[–]PMmethepussay85 points86 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don’t take it personal but your story made me throw up. I think it’s because I know I used to be like you and it still amazes me how one can change from a bitch to a chad. Just ride it out it’ll increasingly get better as your squat, bench and deadlift go up

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (2 children) | Copy

She controlled the finances in our relationship and I felt like I needed to ask for permission to buy the things I wanted

This is when I threw up

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K183 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a mate in this situation right now.

Dudes really need to learn the word 'no' early in a relationship/dynamic of any kind.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My dad is in that situation aswell. Instead of doing shit he actually wants to do and doing shit with me, he has to spend his time watching tv programs with mum constantly.

It's literally got to the point where I constantly have to defend my dad for whatever he has or hasn't done yet. He puts on a front in front of my mum saying that I shouldn't answer my back etc but I can tell he appreciates it.

[–]Ballosaurus11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

You’re not getting a lot of help here and that’s frustrating.

It’s natural to grieve a loss. You may experience a lot of different emotions: I would lookup and be familiar with the Kubler-Ross Model and understand that you may experience some, all, or none of those feelings and in any order.

It may take a long time to feel over it, and that’s okay. You may think you’re progressing and find yourself back at square one. That’s okay too. I would encourage you to seek talk therapy if you feel it would help.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is delete all memories of her from your life and work on yourself. That means LIFT, rediscover the things you enjoy, take yourself out for dinner, movies, feel good shit like that. Further, there’s really no reason to hang around here until you’re seeking new female companionship, and it sounds like that might not be for awhile.

[–]GUARDMEDO0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

2nd

[–]Project_Zero_Betas45 points46 points  (12 children) | Copy

I gave her closure. That same day she left and went on a trip with her new guy and went back to his hometown and she’s still there.

Super beta.

[–]BlkLeatherCouchActor 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

There is no closure in a relationship. Closure for her is comfort. Op basically comforted her so she feels better about being with the new guy

[–]Project_Zero_Betas28 points29 points  (5 children) | Copy

Op basically comforted her so she feels better about being with the new guy

100%

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

I don’t disagree with that. I just feel like a bitch for not having a backbone

[–]Project_Zero_Betas10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing you can do now, the moment's passed and she's moved on. Learn from your mistake. Time for next.

[–]EvolvedVirus7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

When you feel like a bitch, it's the universe telling you to change. What better motivator for change then getting shit on in life or dumped?

You were complacent, you let her take control of finances, you became depressive WHILE you were with HER (so this depression is just wrong, it is not healthy and you should seek psychiatrist help for it). Depression when things were good is not the way to live life.

You couldn't make yourself stop being depressed --- so why would a woman want to live with a depressed man? I have dumped girls for being crazy, emotionally unstable, and/or depressed too. It's not something you can easily tolerate even if you really really really love them.

Much of this isn't your fault, you were just too complacent, lazy, and depressed. It's your brain chemistry's fault. You shouldn't be depressed or angry or bitter at anyone or anything, only a little disappointed with your brain.

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The strange thing is I don’t really feel depressed anymore and I feel guilty about it. Maybe it’s from the power and control I’m feeling about my life and a regret that I couldn’t make things work.

[–]nicyhasreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

There are red pill equivalents in the female world. And unlike the male world, the females find it much easier to plate beta males because once he doesn't feel right, she just throws. Women are unable to love men unconditionally, so if he doesn't benefit her she searches for one who does. Beta males keep even if they don't think they are the right one.

[–]8380atgmaildotcom21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is called asktrp. He wouldn't come here if he didn't need help dick.

[–]IM_BARELY_LITERATE1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This IS helpful

[–]Aggressive_Beta 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Your username is incredible.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you! :-)

[–]RedHoodhandles8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the red pill. Never look back.

[–]smartstarfish3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess it’s kinda clear what happened.

I’m not judging or attacking you the same thing happened to me.

Both of us got complacent and quit feeling motivated to excel in life and our passions. We ended up being a deadweight for her and she found her way out the door.

The remedy is to just focus whatever energy you can back into what you find important in life. It’s gonna be hard and you’ll want to keep thinking about her. And that’s just how these things go.

Give it lots of time. Especially for a 10year LTR.

Hang in there you’ll grow from this

[–]uwotm8912 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know what happened. She had no respect for you, so she could not love you as the man in her life. As Rollo talks about, there is no relational equity that builds up from a woman’s perspective. You’re probably right that if you would’ve acted differently that you could’ve changed the relationship, but this is only useful for moving forward. Don’t go rooting through the garbage if she tries to come back.

[–]Yashugan002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You dumb-ass, you'll be kicking yourself for this sentiment in about a year's time.

You should be shouting for joy for your new found freedom.

Best way to get over a breakup: Bang another chick. you'll see, they're mostly the "different but same". You've pedestalised your one-itis too much. Time to get over false gods.

You're like a slave who doesn't know what to do with his freedom and complains his master is no longer there to provide food and shelter.

[–]Tiway226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

My god dude where are your balls? Why are you even still talking to her? Jesus christ.

[–]Kingali199 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m not reading that shit, I’m sorry this isn’t hey therapy. Read the rules, get your shit together. Vent to the weights God I wish you guys stop doing this shit.

[–]Ironic_Gangster1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. This is sad. I can feel the pain behind your words. Keep your head up and keep working on yourself. It's better to have everything come to an end now rather than waste 10 MORE years of your life on a relationship where you'd have no power. Take what you've learned and move forward. Grieve. Don't become bitter. Go out and have sex with other women. It'll help you forget move on. Block her on social media. Cut her out of your life.

I can remember a time where I could have just as easily been a victim of hypergamy. Thank fuck I learned sooner.

[–]riggedved1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I read your story, it was as though you are speaking on behalf of me. It sounds exactly the same as mine, give or take a few things.

Believe it or not, so many men had come to TRP, looking for answers after heartbreak and absolute destruction of the self, coming out of a long LTR. I am on the same boat too.

Its been an year now since my 4 year LTR ended. I was shredded. I couldn't work. I couldn't enjoy. Every aspect and sphere of my life suffered.

But then, I realised this: a strong man is built from struggling times. And to me, this was the reason I decided to take control of my own life, and take the power back. You've got to do this too. It takes time, and boy oh boy is it hard. This was the jolt I needed. I lost a high SMV girl because I was too damn bluepilled. Maybe it was for the best, as it made me learn some critical lessons about life, and made me look at life in a different way. Looking back, my break up made me the person I am today, much stronger frame, more driven in life.

[–]light-----------dark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you now have a choice . . do you take the red pill, and move forward, or do you stay blue pilled and live happily every after in a fantasy land where NAWALT and unicorns stay put with their one and only?

This will perhaps be one of the hardest points in your life. You’re standing in a mirror facing the the beta you’ve become - you lack confidence, you’re insecure, you have no mission, you feel like you need this woman to live.

What are you going to do?

What gets you up every morning?

What is your mission?

Who are you living this life for?

What is your burning fucking desire?

Choose wisely - your entire future will be a direct reflection of how you decide to move forward.

[–]cafeitalia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

10 years with a woman, didn't get married, didn't make her birth you a child, didn't see her as your sugar mamma, didn't use her affluent and rich connections to start businesses... What the fuck were you doing with the same woman for 10 years?

[–]8380atgmaildotcom1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

The reality is hypergamy doesn't care. I suggest reading The Rational Male front to back but this clip will be an insight onto what happened.

https://youtu.be/mC149YY2G-I

Let me know what you think after watching that.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got sick of that dude saying Hypergamy, lmao.

But yeah...don't do SHIT for them. No covert contracts, no fucking nothing. Step up and take her, because you want her, not because you give her a bunch of shit that makes no difference.

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

It’s on my list after I finish models.

It’s a shitty reality to accept. I thought it was all about how good you looked, how much money you made, and emotional connection with a person. And I guess it still might be part of it or from a different perspective.

[–]alleyteris6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro i would suggest you read the rational male first, this will give you an explaination to why you relationship failed and what you must do to fix the next one so as not to do the same mistakea. Rollo Tomasi has been married for 20-30 years and there is a reason why his books are a MUST read for theredpill community. Put Models down now and start reading The rational male ASAP.

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Will do thanks

[–]DiggerClam1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Throw Models in the fucking bin. TRM is a must.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Models is still a very good read. A lot of guys here could use lecture on not being needy.

[–]DiggerClam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All that information is in the sidebar and Book of Pook - no need to waste money on Models.

[–]htbf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once your transformation is well under way you'll realize how unattractive you were to her and how breaking up with you makes complete sense.

Don't listen to the angry idiots chastising you for being nice to her. Being nice to an ex who did nothing but break up with you is a good thing.

You are gonna suffer for a long while, use that suffering to propel yourself to new heights. You'll think about winning her back of course during that journey of empowerment and it's ok to use it as fuel but do never make it an actual objective. Resist any temptation to reach out to her until you are over the emotional neediness.

This will take time but rest assured that this will pass. It's up to you to choose your path.

[–]OneBrowUp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a beginning of a new life for you. Take your time and rebuild yourself completely, cut contact with her (it's a MUST) and in a year time you should be past the anger phase. It hurts, but it's the only way. Kill the beta inside you and never look back. Be glad that it happened while you're still young.

[–]uptimex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just passed throught the "first phase of interacting with woman". Doing something you think is right, but never feeling what she really wants.

Almost every successfull guy passes through that. You should try other girls, but quickly, about 5-6 different girls.

[–]BIitheFooI2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Skip the first paragraph if you don’t care about my story.

Man, similar story to yours but I did go out, we got our own place, leased 2 new cars (thank God I leased) and we have two kids together. I stopped going to school to work in sales and later finance at a car dealership. She was going to school to be an RN. I was almost done with my prerequisites for an BA RN degree as well when I dropped out. She cheated on me as I was working a ton and treated her like shit - I resented her for working a job I hated and her wanting to quit the RN program was it for me. She only had 2 semesters left. I separated from her and thankfully I don’t need to pay any child support, even though we split the babies equally now. My only regret is I had to move back to my mom’s home after having moved out at 18...

Anyway, I’ve been back in school about a year and met this girl I’ve plated since about August last year. Have another on the side and last week I just gave my ex a facial before taking my August plate out for the weekend in San Francisco.

Things may seem like a mess, but so long as you do all the things you felt you wanted to, you will be more fulfilled than you ever were or will be with any woman. I remember crying to work thinking about my kids, my life, what to do now...I lost my virginity to my ex, was married for 5 years and with her since I was 15. I’m 26 now. Things will get better. I’ve done my best to implement RP since I discovered it last summer. I have straight A’s, love my kids and see them often, hit the gym and have lost fat/gained muscle, got my AA in science last Winter with high honors; I was accepted into the RN program in Fall and for the first time in my life I have fucking options... I haven’t been this hopeful and excited in years. It is a ton of work though. A lot of leaving your comfort zone and trying new shit.

This is a blessing. Participate in your own rescue and you will see how much better your life becomes. Browsing asktrp in between sets right now, lol. Tired as shit from doing LSD and Ecstasy with my plate in SF.

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congratulations on your success man I appreciate you telling me all that. Sometimes shit has to hit the fan before any meaningful change can take place

[–]DerpJungler1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lets keep it real here. Instead of thinking about a "lost" relationship, think about all the things and experiences you've missed out all these years.

Get your feelings together and hit the gym, get jacked, improve yourself, read books about game and how to be rational. Do yourself a favor and meet other girls, this will make you realize how much you've missed out on. Sleep with as many women as you like in order to get completely over her.

Find your purpose and don't let any other woman control you. You can only learn from this experience.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I still want her back and I’m still thinking of how I could regain her attraction.

Because you still hope that she's your mother figure.

This is why you will always fail with her, because your mom is gone. In some ways it might have been better for you if your actual mom had died in your teenage years. You would have had to force yourself to put the mother-child relationship behind you in no uncertain terms.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash looking for dinner, once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get nasty shit all over yourself, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

[–]TFWnoLTR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this post, OP. I've been slipping lately, and this reminded me how pathetic I was when my kid's mom left me, and how thinking about her is a complete waste of time.

Hang in there, dude. It gets better with time. The more you do to improve yourself the better you'll feel years from now.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’ll soon find that there are much more attractive women. That’s what helped me forget about my first ex.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know this is nothing new to you guys but I just didn’t believe it could happen to me.

What's the question?

[–]T-P-T-W-P0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once your frame, attraction, and power is taken in a relationship, it is highly likely you will never firmly grasp it again. You had no chance to begin with, but the only sliver was telling her “alright, have fun”, banging other women, living life to the fullest, and maybe she comes crawling back eventually. Not that I would personally take her back after she expresses she wants a break.

Another note is that I’ve noticed over time that women will encourage you to spend money over not spending money whether for yourself, together, or on her. I’ve noticed it with girlfriends/plates but also particularly my mom. My family is well off to the point where we never have to really worry but not the point where we’re jetting around on a weekly basis. I’m frugal and only spend on things I really really want/value and quality groceries (upkeep the temple). My mom and various women often encourage me to spend frivolously on things I express interest in but aren’t incredibly necessary or important. Money is probably the most important thing in the world beyond your own body, do not ever let anyone other than yourself influence the way you handle your finances and expenditure. It’s one of the few things I am 100% unwilling to bend on in regards to women.

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This post is pathetic.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That ain’t helping anyone bro

[–]HillarysCell-mate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just want to thank everyone here for the advice, regardless of how brutal and honest it was. This is a real wake up call for me to live life for myself on my own terms. Ignoring your problems will get you nowhere, and it is in the face of adversity and struggle that we grow and actively decide who we really are.

I still don’t know what my purpose is or will be, but for now, I think it’s a good problem to have.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to vent and you cone here with yoir nonsense? Write that shit on a piece if paper and then burn it my guy. Who's gonna read all that nonsense?

[–]nicyhasreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be more of a man, I'm going to repeat this:

Stop trying to want her back. It's okay to want girls, its a male desire. But just go to the gym. And when she actually wants you back you already banged another 10 more chicks better than her.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Leave this...it's dead. Iron Rule of Tomassi number whatever it is - never try to re-spark attraction with a past chick.

It's hard, it's tough, you have a thousand billion thoughts and emotions.

You toughen up, now...gain some self awareness, look at what may have killed it, and grow. That's what the pill is here for. To help men grow.

You have a pretty good proof positive of what DOESN'T work...now you get working on learning what does, and move forward.

What have you read, so far?

[–]Nergaal-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT

[–]UnderneathTheGun-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

hypergamy 101



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