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What is the ruling on cleaning the house?

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April 5, 2019
15 upvotes

I wanted to get some input and thoughts on what the rule is related to cleaning the house up when first beginning the red pill journey.

I’m currently in an LTR where I started out as dominant and alpha and slowly progressed into beta tendencies as the relationship when on. Failed many shit tests, showed too much emotion and insecurity etc.

We moved in together very quickly.

Things are reasonably good outside of that and I still have maintained some dominance. Started reading about MRP about a month ago and NMMNG and have been working to implement it into my life.

Initially I made the mistake of coming across as an asshole so I slowed the process down and it’s been working much better. TIP: When implementing things initially, too quick will lead to major pushback from her and it’s important not to come off as a total jerk to her.

One area I’m curious about is the cleaning of the house. I’ve tried searching and have gotten conflicting information from various posts where some FRs talk about how they just took charge and did it all because they wanted a clean house and it was important to them and other posts have discussed that cleaning the house is a negative thing.

Sure it is more of a woman’s role but what happens in the following case:

To me, a clean house is extremely important. I need to live in a clean environment with relatively minimal clutter. If I let things pile up and get out of order, It will eventually start to have a negative impact in my mood and this can parlay into other area of my life.

When I lived on my own, in addition to keeping things organized during the week (put dishes away, laundry in hamper etc) every Saturday or Sunday I would wake up and do a relatively deep clean of the house. Lysoling counters, washrooms, wood polish on desks, vacuuming the floors.

Now, I still like to maintain that but the issue I’m having is that she has no issue with the house getting cluttered throughout the week. Dog toys on the floor, dishes at the counter or unemptied dishwasher loads, papers left out on the coffee table, glasses at the bedside etc. I’ve brought it up and she says it doesn’t bother her.

This leads to me either ignoring it and letting the house get cluttered during the week so by Friday it looks a mess or picking up after her mess to keep it organized. I then wake up and do my deep clean on Saturday to get it back into shape. Usually I ignore it because I’m exhausted working 12 hour days and want to relax once I’m home.

I have mentioned it but she wakes up later than me and I like to have it clean early so I can go about my day.

Tomorrow I want to go on a six hour hike. I’m exhausted (working 60 hour weeks right now) but I feel I need to clean the house when I get home tonight so I can go hiking tomorrow and if I don’t, I’ll come home and it won’t be cleaned. She may tidy the kitchen counter but the deep clean I like to do won’t be done.

Now, I’m new to RP so I want to be looked at as the leader. I expect a clean house. Is the appropriate handling of this to simply keep the house clean, do my cleaning, and hope she will eventually get the idea and follow suit?


Post Information
Title What is the ruling on cleaning the house?
Author aonachs
Upvotes 15
Comments 38
Date 05 April 2019 08:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/224442
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/b9wfx5/what_is_the_ruling_on_cleaning_the_house/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphabetalong term relationshipshit testdominancethe red pillfield reportNMMNG
Comments

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red34 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy

Live like you're single.

Clean the house. Because you like a clean house.

Don't whine or moan or complain. Don't go looking to her for a pat on the head.

You do what you need to do because you're the captain and your crew is broken.

As a bonus, as you own your shit and live like you don't need her, she'll start to wonder what value does she add to your life. But that's down the dread road. You're not there yet.

[–]NoCoast8222 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

Live like you're single.

This should be the MRP mantra

[–]hack3geRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I first got started I would always say to myself WWSMD - what would single me do?

Just realize now I don’t think it any more - I just pretty much do whatever the fuck I want to do now.

[–]animalapemachine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have already stated your standards to her, the talking there is over.

All you can do now is put in the work you need to do and become a man she wants to meet that standard for. She has to want it. Its not a negotiation, and its induced by changing yourself.

In the meantime, keep your mouth shut, sidebar and lift. Put in the time.

The hard way is the easy way.

[–]RPeed8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lived on my own and worked from 18. Girls used to comment on how clean my place was but I guess it was compared to college student stuff.

I fucking hate cleaning.

I tidy up after myself but honestly I’ve probably cleaned the way you describe once in my life. Can’t remember when but I must have done it to decide never to do it again. Low maintenance stuff and no dog, never seemed necessary.

My wife moved in with me at 26 and had never picked up after herself in her life. I used to get a big blue Ikea bag and dump all her discarded clothes in it.

Also I had a maid.

Somewhere along the line, my wife learned to clean. I just used a maid until then.

[–]hystericalbonding13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m new to RP so I want to be looked at as the leader

Just like that, eh? Read one book, and your long track record will be erased so you can lead her.

Own your shit. Clean the house the way you want, or hire a cleaner to do it.

We're not here to modify her behavior. She'll get on board or she won't.

There's no trick or alpha move right now. Are you even at dread stage 1?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If it bothers you than clean it. If she doesn’t get the message decide if this is a boundary or not for you. If it is, next her.

How far are you in your journey? You may need to give the 1000 ft rope more time to tighten.

My wife is extremely diligent in cleaning the majority of the house. The only area it gets to the point where I have an issue is putting the laundry away. So if it gets bad - Saturday I have the kids put away there stuff and I leave her stuff in a pile. Usually she gets the message without me saying anything and it’s not a problem again for a few months.

You could try this approach and clean up your / the dogs shit and leave hers. Actions > words

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You always keep your shit clean. She’s going to follow your lead. Once she realizes you require order she will start to keep her stuff clean to match.

Second, you can def tell her to help you clean. “Yo, this place is getting pretty bad, give me a hand let’s straighten this up”. Simple as that.

[–]ahackercalled4chan9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

OYS and lead by example.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with the other posts - do it if you want it done. Don't expect a damn thing from her (that's a covert contract to think - if I clean, she'll do x). Demonstrate in this way and in other ways that she is not needed, rather you choose to have her around. She'll either add value or not and as you progress you'll either choose to keep her around for the value she adds, or you'll move on. The stay plan is the go plan.

I'm about a year in. If my SAHM wife sees me cleaning, she says something like "I'm sorry I didn't get to that today, (x reason)... You don't need to do that, I'll get it (at x time)". Typically, I just finish what I'm doing. I have stated directly and overtly the standards I expect in our home. If she didn't pull her weight i'd have hired a maid by now and i'd have made it clear that I was doing it to have my expectations met. These are clear demonstrations of me not needing her; the same would apply to not getting the sex I require - I'd flirt in front of her and demonstrate that she is not needed, she is chosen. This shit works if you're willing to follow through if you don't get what you want. It all comes down to having a strong enough frame to set expectations and the ball to follow through on getting them met, either by her, or elsewhere. My wife doesn't want to lose me, so she bends over backwards (sometimes literally) to please me and to add value.

[–]GoodWillFunky9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t want to clean? Call topless maid service. Problem solved faggot.

[–]theunconquored3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn’t like the way my wife did laundry. I didn’t ask, I just started doing it. The way I want it done. Eventually, she took it back over, doing it to my standards. If she hadn’t, I’d still be doing it. I still do sometimes. I want it done to my standards whoever does it.

Stop giving a fuck about her. Do it your way if it’s important to you. Do it forever if that’s what it takes, not because you’re trying to change her. Because it’s what you want. Maybe she’ll pick it up. Maybe not.

This is about leadership, not your manipulative covert contracts.

Go lift, bitch.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is one of those questions that comes up over and over.

If you feel like cleaning, do it

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Decent article - reminds me of a situation I had a few months ago.. I was busy working at home, the kids were outside playing and the wife came to me and said, "hmm .. not sure what I should do today". I gave her a list of possible things she could do for the day like ordering the food for the week, cooking dinner for the evening, cleaning the bathrooms.

She looked at me and said, "I don't need you to give me a list of chores you know, I was just thinking out loud".

I said, "fine, do whatever you like".

Then she went off, ordered the food, cleaned the bathrooms and cooked the dinner.

[–]adeptintact1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well it's not alpha to be the maid of the house when she does nothing. Saying you will lead by example and clean everything for her lazy ass sounds like a beta justification to clean for her.

At the very least try not to do feminine chores. I told my girl she has to do the dishes and cook because I'm not doing it. That's how I lead and she does it .

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You still sound conflicted and weak. Your description of her is not good for your long-term outcome on this area. YOU have trained her by being a drunk Captain. Sounds like you need a reset to a new training regimen. You’ll have to do the heavy lifting and lead by example. Just get past the mindset of “asking her” to do something. Give direction with outcome guidance; be clear not bossy.

As a captain you need to give directions that are followed. Your first mate needs to want to follow. But delivery is crucial. Remember the last time you guys were unloading all that shit you bought from Costco and you had your hands full when you got to the door? Remember what you asked her and how - “hey, can you grab the door for me?” - you weren’t asking her opinion on whether she would get the door for you and you weren’t telling her to get the door for you. Now ask her to do a consistent set of tasks WHILE YOU ARE BUSY with cleaning tasks or your own.

The mind set is what delivers the training smoothly. Like any wild animal in training, she’ll resist and you can’t cave in. Be firm and reward good behavior.

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The mindset is outside of just cleaning the house. If you see something that needs done, do it. Not because you expect to be praised or get some reward for doing it, just simply because you see something that needs to be done/cleaned/fixed, etc.

Killing your lazy is difficult for some. But that bleeds into career as well.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

“what the rule is related to cleaning“

Go read the Rules of Marriage, His and Her edition, asshole.

[–]SeamusAwl1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Marriage has rules?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

A blue pill marriage does...

Should have put a /s by my comment.

My MIL bought us that book when we first got marriage. Typical pathetic mainstream advice- like the 5 love languages.

It’s just another thing she can hold over your head and use as an excuse to not have sex with you.

Plus, the whole thing about turning you into an unattractive beta male. I cringe when I think back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck, I keep latching onto these types of posts because I didn't know it was sarcasm. I went out and bought 5 love languages on Amazon last week.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't make me change your flair to the "Wednesday to Tuesday Retard."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wait, be overt here because I am genually confused. Do you really think I recently bought that book? I read that shit like a decade ago and thought it was fantastic.

[–]Redpillbrigade172 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should write a memo on how important it is to have a clean house. Then send her an e-mail saying you want to talk to her about something important tonight. Attach the memo.

Then sit her down and in no uncertain terms tell her from now on she will clean the house or else all hell will break loose. Tell her it’s a woman’s duty. You are a man, you deserve to be served that way. Tell her you swallowed the red pill and that’s the natural order of things. If she dares to open her mouth, start yelling, get up, and say you will not be talked to that way! You are a leader, a man!! She exists to serve you.

After she gets it and starts cleaning dutifully and obediently since you’re such an alpha male, the next thing is to train her to always walk behind you two steps and wear a hijab at all times in public.

/s

[–]Grimsterr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You lead by example.

[–]RPchump0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the first takeaways I ever received from MRP was owning your shit.

It’s your house, clean it. You’d clean it anyway if you were single, right?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wholly shit no idea of material you are reading.

Clean the fucker if it needs to be cleaned

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This (recurring) issue inspired me to write a half-baked post about it a couple years ago, and my half-baked post inspired a fully baked masterpiece from /u/UEMcGill after that. It's one of my favorites, so much so that I'm lame enough to try to attach myself to it in a positive light whenever I bring it up.

Hopefully it's not too allegorical for you, Commander Autisto. Have at it.

[–]Dialerstring-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you have kids you’re fucked!!

[–]hack3geRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wtf why? My kids help clean the house for me - wife wouldn’t do shit so I decided to change the crews assignments. She now has her own laundry duty and that’s it - my boys own the fuck out of their chores. In less than 6 months I taught them to make their beds, do their laundry, load/unload the dishwasher, make their lunches, pick up their toys when they are done, pick up before the cleaners come, etc. There was some quote here where I read that it wasn’t that she wanted you to do the dishes she just didn’t want there to be dishes so I ran with that concept. They also get a small allowance which helps them understand the idea of working for their money.

[–]Dialerstring2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Daddy of the year! (no sarcasm intended) It would be more for him to clean and of course this is dependent on how he runs his home working 12 hour days. My kids do the same as yours and they don’t get an allowance. I don’t pay my kids for meeting the standard and requirements. However, I do consistently reward them (with money) for rising above the standards. I pay my kids for every book they read, every award or recognition they achieve in school; and or track. They each have a saving, gift giving and spending bank. If they want something outside of the family budget they pay for it themselves. Keep up the good work..

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting - I have thought that the allowance was maybe a bad idea but I just couldn't put my finger on why. Honestly its like barely anything - my youngest gets $2 a week and my oldest $5.

How old are your kids? Mine are 5/8.

[–]Dialerstring0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mine are 9b/g11. I don’t think allowances are bad things and if your kids are kicking ass keep it up. If they go above the call of duty, reward them. I like the $2 and $5 payments you give your kids. It may keep them from being money hungry sharks like mine! I taught my kids about interest and when I ask to borrow money I borrow from the kid that give me the lowest rate. To add to that I teach them the importance of being debt free and not borrowing money.

[–]redwall92-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

If it bothers you enough to have a negative impact on your mood, then clean the house.

If her not cleaning bothers you enough to have a negative impact on your mood, then stop being bothered, or leave her if you want.

Dog toys on the floor, dishes at the counter or unemptied dishwasher loads, papers left out on the coffee table, glasses at the bedside etc.

Holy shit man. I've got five kids, and I wouldn't accept a pig-sty like that!

Dog toys on the floor.

Damnit man! Train the bitch to put away her toys!

Dishes at the counter

Fuck me, bro. I don't know where you put your dishes.

unemptied dishwasher loads

Damn, bro. My oldest two kids swap off on dish duty. I make sure they stand at attention for the last 12 minutes of the dishwasher cycle so that we're sure there are no unemptied dishwasher loads in my kitchen.

papers left out on the coffee table

Well, shit. We just plain don't have a coffee table. Get rid of this problem the easy way.

glasses at the bedside

Your side? Or hers? If my wife left glasses on my bedside, I'd throw them across the room so they'd smash against the wall. That would make her stop.

[–]hystericalbonding7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

If my wife left glasses on my bedside, I'd throw them across the room so they'd smash against the wall. That would make her stop.

Weird response. Decent opener, then each line became progressively more retarded. Hard to tell if it's a joke.

[–]tspitsatgp6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

9 times out of 10 you know it’s a joke and then there’s that 1 time...



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