Fake it till you make it: TRP vs. reality

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April 7, 2019
158 upvotes

So I’m about 6 months into my red pill experience and there’s something I can’t quite get my head around. I understand the philosophy here is “I am the prize” and if a girl isn’t into you she’s the one missing out. I saw this summed up pretty well in a comment where someone said something along the likes of “You’re selling Ferraris, not everyone who walks into the dealership is going to buy one”. (Love that btw, kudos to the user that came up with it)

The thing I struggle with with this mindset is this, can’t one adopt this mindset and in reality it not be true? What if you’re not the prize in real life, but via TRP you make yourself believe you are...what does this make you really? What if how you view yourself through the lens of TRP is very different than how others perceive you, and everything else that happens in real world interactions. I think my current feelings can be summed up with the phrase “fake it till you make it”. How does one deal with the simultaneous feelings of faking it but not having “made it” via TRP?


Post Information
Title Fake it till you make it: TRP vs. reality
Author random1529
Upvotes 158
Comments 49
Date 07 April 2019 05:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/224652
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/baj0o9/fake_it_till_you_make_it_trp_vs_reality/
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Comments

[–]caius100154 points155 points  (2 children) | Copy

Own yourself buddy. Your flaws, your strengths, everything. Accept the fact that not everybody will like you. Love yourself as you are now and always strive to make yourself a better person. You choose what that "better" is. It's your life. Own it and never apologize for what you are, feel, or think. Good luck!

[–]TheRedPillRipper57 points58 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll just piggy back the top comment because u/caius100 is right and so are you u/random1529.

What if how you view yourself through the lens of TRP is very different than how others perceive you

This holds true not only in The SMP but in life in general. The world see's only what you want it to see.

Want to be successful? Appear so. Train your physique up. Purchase tailored clothing and never leave the house without shaving, dressing and smelling good. No money? Work with what you got whilst working to acquire more. Clean clothes cost little. Personal care takes only time and attention to detail.

You may only have $7 in your account but with clean clothes, subtle accessories and some decent boots the world will only see the best you. Do it enough it soon becomes habit. It becomes who you are.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]oyoungpadawan6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn good advice!

[–]rubydachurro42 points43 points  (1 child) | Copy

The redpill lens is to see things for what they really are. The “you are the prize” mentality is just not caring if one girl likes you. You’ll meet another one tomorrow or next week. Why should you care if she flakes on you or rejects you or doesn’t text you back. Fuck her and keep it moving. Live for yourself.

[–]Granite_Pill36 points37 points  (8 children) | Copy

"Nobody likes you. In fact, everybody hates you. Deal with it."

That is my mindset because it frees me from ever having to worry about what other people think. The red pill is a body of information about how the world really works so you can navigate life better, make better decisions, spot danger more easily, and become more successful than you otherwise would have become without taking the red pill.

Men who are in it for the chicks are going about it all wrong. It's not about the chicks. It's about you. The red pill information is a tool you can use to get what you want out of life. If you're doing good in life, the chicks will flock to you automatically. The biggest obstacle many men face when approaching women is the fear of rejection and they can feel devastated when they get rejected by some thot. As a red-pilled male, you are already ahead of the curve and some broad just missed out.

It takes a lot of time, energy, and hard work to make it. Six months is a tiny blip on the timeline of life. You have YEARS of hard work to do. Whatever you want to do or become, start living your life like that now as much as you can.

When I worked for a small startup, a small oilfield services technology company, we presented ourselves to the world as a much larger and wealthier company than we actually were. We spent the money and had nice trucks, we wore nice clothes, we had a really nice website, the company name sounded like it was a big international company. People never knew that it was just four guys in a run-down office space at first. But it made us look far more successful than we actually were and clients noticed that.

"These guys seem to be doing pretty well, they have their shit together, they have the resources to respond to rapidly changing needs, we can trust these guys."

Many times a client or new employee would remark that they thought we were some big international company with offices around the world.

We faked it until we made it. That is faking it til you make it. Ya dig?

[–]thewobblywelder3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Useful information as I’ve just started my own welding business. I will keep it in mind! I have noticed that since I’ve started a business the women do seem to crawl out of the woodwork... I just ignore them. It’s funny watching them hamster.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’m also a welder, I just think it’s badass to see another one here on TRP.

[–]thewobblywelder2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ya buddy! This is where my empire begins!

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

In fact through almost all of my lurking I’ve maybe seen one other blue collar worker here in general, IMO we have a leg up on seeing through the red pilled lense.

[–]thewobblywelder1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My problem was and still is. Im a fairly attractive fella. So every once in awhile I’ll snag an 8 or a 9, especially if they get wet from ‘being a real man manly man’ commercials on tv after they find out I’m a welder and machinist. (They can’t think for themselves of course) My biggest problem though was that I would be a blue pilled simped out bitch to these women and they would walk all over me. As far as women went I would always pine for those top 4 numbers on the scale, but I’d bang lessers because of the availability. I now know what not to do in both situations thanks to actually understanding it all better through being red pilled. I just don’t give a fuck about womerns anymore. But yes. Us blue collar fuckers don’t put up with a lot of shit most of the time. I’m living in a rural area right now so to pick up a hottie isn’t the easiest task, and my last relationship I made the mistake of trying to cater to her bullshit all the time. Nuh uh! Never again son. it’s almost more work than it’s really worth. Fuck em if they come along. Don’t even bother chasing pussy. Chase your passion. That’s my game.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell Yeah, That’s a good game!

[–]goldenshoelace81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome well explained

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not a bad strategy but I fell that would unconsciously make u feel like ur not good enough

[–]HurricaneHugues17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

Listen man. Believing you are the prize is one thing, but also actively working on becoming the ultimate prize is another. If you're a 5'5 little bum with no job, weak frame, that doesn't even lift, and looks like trash, the only prize you are is a consolation prize at a game show for retards. You must always be actively working on improving your SMV in one way or another. Yes you are the prize, but you should still be working on actually being one.

Just because you don't have any other options, it doesn't mean you should let some chick disrespect or play you. You just gotta learn to walk away from nonsense even if you don't have other options. And if you somehow are overvaluating yourself, so be it. Sometimes that's enough to make others reconsider your value. Because when they see you acting above what they believe your value is, they will wonder if there's something about you that they don't know from which you are drawing these high levels of confidence from. And that doubt from them is really all you need for them to fall into your frame. They will go along with the value you set for yourself, hoping to find out what they don't know about you.

Also, you know what they say: We become what we think. Thoughts inspire actions. Actions dictate character. Think of yourself as the prize, take action towards being an actual prize, then become an actual prize.

Godspeed young nigga.

[–]MCA_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

word

[–]Elephant_7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great answer man.

[–]AwakenedSovereign13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

In regards to women your confidence does not need to be rational and is likely better when irrational.

They aren't rational about sex and relationships. Why should you need to be?

[–]DownyGall4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Humans are irrational. Embrace it.

[–]1redhawkes25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

The thing is to become the prize. Repeating useless feel good platitudes won't do anything.

You act as if you're the prize.

[–]Nomsonfacekcool9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Piggybacking off that first point, it takes work. But the work becomes easier once you realize that you’re already worth the effort you’re putting in, not only because you’re a man and you have the capacity to be great or whatever you’ve read on here, but because there is something that other people don’t have that you have.

Make yourself worth the effort.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

" What if you’re not the prize in real life "

You're missing the point. That's a mantra to tell yourself on the bad days etc. But there are rules within the community. Lifting, reading, career advancements etc. Find a few decent TRP'ers that you get along with, let them be your "gym buddies" (basically the guys that keep pushing you forward in life) and merely be in competition within your circle. To the BP's outside of your circle, you're a fucking shark living in a pond, you are then DEFINITELY the prize to a lot of women.

Trying to merely "be the prize" with a low SMV is a commendable thing, you will get laid (by women you aren't proud of) but it's more embarrassing then anything, seeing as you're armed with the knowledge to raise said SMV. Still, some pussy is better than none.

[–]1walawalawa5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing I struggle with with this mindset is this, can’t one adopt this mindset and in reality it not be true? What if you’re not the prize in real life, but via TRP you make yourself believe you are...what does this make you really?

Great question. The Red Pill is "Truth"; it is truly a mindset shift to see the world as it is not how you wish it was. Yet the idea of "I am the prize may seem to contradict this. How you see yourself is "Truth".

If you see yourself as a loser who can't do anything or meet anyone...that is your reality.

If you see yourself as someone with high standards who has a lot to offer that is your reality.

But that truth has to be backed up with some proof points. You can't be the "prize" and be living in a van by the river. So the improvements you make however incremental they may be are what help to build that self-esteem.

Men today are damaged by the ravages of feminism, #metoo, virtue-signaling sniveling soy boys and the notion of "respecting women." It's a confusing time. The pursuit of excellence and self-improvement are part of the shift from accepting the external world as your Truth to adopting a mindset that allows you to be more selective.

One very simple example for me...I changed the knot on my tie to something more unique and wore a suit to a party. I adopted a mindset of "I'm here to rock it." Women were all receptive to me. I gamed every girl I met and the positive responses helped to improve and increase my confidence.

The reality is currently I'm struggling to launch a new business and lost a few pitches to other cheaper providers and a few plates have dropped. Am I a "loser"? Or a "Winner"? The choice is mine to decide. I'm using the down-time to develop new material, read, network, improve my surroundings etc.

Hope that helps.

[–]demalteb5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm someone who went through quite a few years of pua shit (before it became trp), and graduated from it to become a more decent and free person. So I'll probably get banned, and that is fine, as I am actually completely adhering to Rule Zero (I just don't agree that the redpill bubble does the same).

You are not the prize. You will never convince yourself that you are. That is why trp fails, because most guys are not delusional enough to actually convince themselves of that idiocy. They try to, of course, and they fail, and it makes them utterly miserable. In a weird way, this is a good thing, because it means that most guys are actually quite decent and know quite well that this is just egocentric bullshit.

Now, before you hang up, the next part is just as important: Neither is she.

Nobody is the prize. Human beings are not property to be handed out as prizes. Sex is not a capitalist investment. Except if you make it so, of course, in your own head. If you do that, well, then you have already lost, and it doesn't matter if you have lay after lay after lay, or if you just remain a keyboard jockey and jerk off to internet porn.

You cannot find the least bit of satisfaction, as long as you see human beings as anything but your equals.

[–]DerpJungler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not everyone will like you. And that's the goal. Having enemies is good, they keep your head in place. They make you work harder. On the same note, you can fuck a woman that doesn't like you, it feels 10x better than with a woman that worships you.

Point is, you have to accept your self and build on that. DGAF attitude along with the lowkey desire to create enemies is how one succeeds.

However, if you realize that you truly disagree with RP theories and ideas, then you should start looking for what really suits you, but is this really the right choice? You can either keep faking it, or embed it and embrace it.

[–]humzy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

by following TRP you become the prize due to the changes you make to become the best man you can be.

In the meantime you should have the confidence that you are in control of your life and are in the constant process of building yourself into a king. 90% of other men will never even get to that point, let alone the finished product (with the caveat that you are never a finished product and should keep reaching for higher and higher goals)

[–]hazelstein2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This mindset is when you think that a bitch is out of your league. No woman is better than a Man. In any field, the top person is a man, Always. So, when you see a bitch. Let her know by your words or actions that you are and will be always better than her, she donot argue or talkback. You should be King of Your Own, Till you become the King of the everyone.

[–]_Anarchon_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing I struggle with with this mindset is this, can’t one adopt this mindset and in reality it not be true? What if you’re not the prize in real life, but via TRP you make yourself believe you are...what does this make you really?

You're asking some good questions. There's a difference in acting and being, and you can't maintain a lie forever. Chicks will figure it out after a while.

Red pill strategies are good for getting pussy, but not for long term relationships nor being happy and content in life in general. A man cannot be full of shit and still be a real man (a term they hate on this sub). Come to understand that half the guys posting here are full of shit losers, clueless about life...even though they may have figured out how to get laid sometimes.

The work required to be a real man is much broader in scope, and much more difficult. The upside is, once you figure it out, the pussy part comes with it, even in LTRs.

[–]vild3r1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah man. I get where you are going with this. When its said that "I am the prize", believe it. If you believe it, so will she and the rest around you. The point of saying that to yourself is that once you have a mindset, your body language changes (because its involuntary for the most part) and the subtle cues you give has an impact on other people. You just gotta believe your body and others primal insticts will do the work for you. Stay Strong!

[–]enteralterego1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recommend you read "Thinking fast and slow" to understand how people actually operate on auto pilot on most occasions. We use something called heuristics for the most part of our daily decision making and "fake it till you make it" certainly falls under this category.

The part I had some difficulty understanding was this : faking it, sounds like you are a swindler , trying to appear someone you are not, trying to manipulate people - which is to some degree true - but "till you make it" part makes the difference.

You will see how people treat people who they believe to be "worthy" firsthand. People will not look deep enough into your finances, into your knowledge about topic X most of the time - and will simply put you in a "mental box" and tag you with some apparenty mental tags (looks good, smells good, appears to be fit, intelligent, funny - therefore he also must be succesful, must be generous, must be kind, all around great bloke - this is the halo effect).

When you present yourself as a certain way, people will treat you accordingly. Presenting yourself as a succesful guy will make people treat you as one.

If you lie about your success however - and it is found out, its a huge hit on your image and status as you are now deemed a "cheater" and this has repercussions. In this day and age of social media, this is extremely risky.

So the right way (to me at least) is to first not act and look as a loser, start looking like a winner (because its easy and instant) and start working towards becoming a genuine winner (which will take time).

People treating you as worthy will definitely help you become a real genuine winner, but people treating you like shit because you look and act like a loser will definitely hamper your efforts to realize your potential and build something.

Plus - nobody accuses women of wearing makeup to look younger and appear to have smoother skin, fake boobs, hair dye etc. Why would you care if people look down on you for trying to appear better than you are? Screw them and focus on building yourself.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to wonder this myself. I had done everything I could to get my wife to be attracted to me. I had a good paying job, I’m handsome, and fit. Think zac Efron, minus the fame and money.

Even though I had built myself up, and I had always told myself “if this bitch leaves me I’ll have plenty more in no time.”, because of all the ioi’s I got, I still didn’t really believe it.

So I made a tinder. A few days later. I’ve gotten so many matches, as in women that I too want to fuck and so many numbers that I forget who is who. I’ve set up so many dates that I forget about them and who is who. Obviously I can fix that but I’m just saying. I haven’t EVEN stepped OUT yet. This is true abundance. There’s no telling what I can pull when I do step out if I’m getting decent women from just fuckin garbage ass tender.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Faking till you make it means act confident until you do not need to act and it just becomes who you are. It's doable. I done this and many other guys did it. Especially late bloomers so to speak. Once you got your shit together you will notice that confidence is just being yourself. However it's pointless to be yourself if you haven't found yourself yet.

[–]carterrockhouse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was hard for me at first. The older I got the easier it became.

First is value: as a man you're only after one thing from a woman. Her body. That's it. She has nothing else to offer you or society. Men create things, men build societies, even in the "small" world of yours in a personal level, it's the men the provide everything for a woman, all she has to do is exist.

For instance, this weekend I took my girlfriend to the beach to see a rock concert. Now, she is sexy! About an 8.5 give or take. She would have no problem replacing me. So how am I the prize?

She cant replace ME! Yeah, she can find another dick, but not one like me. Women aren't after men for their dick, they are after their status and what they provide. I provide a lifestyle. If I ever got rid of her, I have no problem replacing her. Pretty women are a dime a dozen. Take charge guys like me that are fun, charming, and have their shit together, are rare.

She one time joked "go ahead and find another 26 year old that cooks, cleans, gives good blow jobs and looks good."

I immediately replied I probably wouldn't, I'd instead find a taller 23 year old that cooks, cleans, looks good and gives good blow jobs. She didnt like that too much but her body gave me a different reaction.

Being the prize is about knowing you bring more to the table than her, and all she brings is her body.

With that said...you actually have to be worth something to be the prize. You have to take care of yourself, have hobbies, enjoy life. It takes time to build a life that you're happy with, but thank God we live in a day and age where it's possible to do that.

[–]TheBadGoy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's simply adapting to the modern world, for example would it be a good strategy to message a girl on Instagram? Not really. Would it be better to make small talk in person? Maybe. Or let's say I work at a grocery store. Would it be a good strategy to flirt with college girls or 25+ women? Not really. Would it be a good strategy to flirt with cashier girls or 18 year old girls. Probably. You simply take everything into account in order to maximize your chances

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not fake. Just adopt a purpose in life that gradually improve you in: 1) looks 2) affluence 3) game

When you do that you’ll be incrementally more attractive without even trying because you’ll signal it unconsciously or with facts around you that can’t be faked and people will notice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I consider myself to be high SMV, have worked hard on myself my whole life. Still, when I am with a woman who has literally done nothing with her life, I can sometimes slip up and feel like I have to prove myself to her. Therefore, I need to remember that I am the prize.

[–]magx010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Still, when I am with women who has literally done nothing in her lives, I can sometimes slip up and feel like I have to prove myself to her.

Because women are the gatekeepers of sex. This is biological reality.

[–]jenovajunkie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I know, I am not going to live a lie just so I can fuck.

[–]maverick97590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This has always been my problem with I am the prize mentality. It makes you focus internally and produces self doubt. I wrote a proper essay about how I fixed it and people liked it a lot but the ECs removed it because they thought it was a poor understanding of the concept.

[–]HunterTologist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You aren't perceived as anything bad, you are perceived just how TRP says: more confident, confidence is seen in your conduct as to how you perceive yourself so if you give a confident vibe don't stress out, don't let think about it bc you could become anxious.

[–]TRP_mask0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's how 'NiceGuys' are born, don't let it get to your head

[–]mohammed218 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

if you're not getting external validation it's hard to fake that prize mentality

[–]Aymane2210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

External validation as in iois

[–]jm510 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How does one deal with the simultaneous feelings of faking it but not having “made it”

'Faking it...' isn't fully accurate but concision rules and we're stuck with the word.

What are you faking? If you're faking being Brad Pitt, good luck with that.

If you're faking being you when the fuck up version of you is on a break, that's more like it imo. 'This is the me I am capable of being'. If you are capable of becoming that guy, then it isn't really fake. It's a demo of what you are working towards.

[–]donkeydodo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The key is to stay true to yourself. It doesn't matter what people think of you, what matters is what you think of yourself. Something I thought of is that people generally want to be seen as a "normal human", thus they are afraid of conducting behavior that isn't considered normal. Problem is that there isn't any normal human being; the abnormality of each person is what is normal. What I mean by this is that every person is unique. Dissolve the ugly idea of a 'normal' human, and stay true to yourself, your own ideas and own it. People who are considered alpha by other people are the ones that aren't afraid to speak up when they have an opinion about something, even if everyone else has another opinion about a certain subject. Don't be afraid of verbal conflict, embrace it; verbal conflict doesn't imply insults thrown back and forth, but rather the challenge of opinions and ideas. If you can argue for your cause well enough, your idea will be the new paradigm in said subject and people will naturally see you as a leader. This is why 'fake it 'til you make it' is a good concept. Challenge people enough intellectually so that it comes naturally for you, and your environment will take change after that

[–]Ghostilluminati0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This still is arguably one of the most fragile belief constructs of the whole RP approach. Many people are too easy to take it literally. "You are the prize" is mental masturbation that allows the initiate to operate in the world, while all the same developing the traits which will build a true confidence. If you are a dweeb who lives in your mom's basement and doesnt know what pussy tastes like, you are not the prize in any way shape or form. But by learning to simply act as of you are allows you to improve to the point where your SMV will increase. If you are simply lying to yourself about your value to women and in life, while making no improvements towards actually being so, you are simply delusional.

[–]masterpiece000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because it's part of the delusion RP sells, and you sooner or later realize its hypocrisy and stupidity.

BE THE PRIZE - Dress well, act like someone you are not, use all sorts of social tricks and NLP programming, kino. But dress like a banker or high status bro!, dance around girls, act like a clown, SMV, attract attract!, act alpha around her APPROACH APPROACH.

Personally i think something PRIZED gets approached.

This doesn't sound like something that is PRIZED, it sounds like a circus chimp trained to garner more attention than what it basically is, if something is the prize it attracts and is posessed, Does 'Chad' do all this?? or do 5 women approach him?

[–]magx01-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I am the prize" is a good mentality as it leads to tending towards the right direction but I can't help but roll my eyes at it. It's too close to a feminist type mantra ("I need no man" type shit) and it's also invalidated by the realities of the 80/20 rule.

[–]jackandjill22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hm.



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