I’ve been seeing improvements as I open up more to women. By being more personable (acting less “dgaf”), I come across as more attainable and thus women auto-reject themselves less often. The chemistry develops, rapport is established, and getting first dates no longer feels like a problem. (I used to have no issue opening and getting numbers, and no issues closing with sex, but yes issues getting the first date.)

Here’s the thing: with HB8s, I’ve experienced (and dread) the “are we exclusive” question. HB8 is very good for me. I suspect I’m losing frame by agreeing to it, but I fear missing out on the sexual relationship opportunity.

Sadly, what I expect is: by her asking for commitment or monogamy (albeit after we’ve had sex at least once or twice), they are telling me that that is more important to them than any primal instinct to have further sex. Or: maybe I should interpret the overt communication as their last-ditch effort to secure monogamy? Maybe it’s both. By turning it down, I risk losing the relationship altogether, but if she sticks around, the dynamic would remain entirely within my frame.

I’m bettering myself by lifting, attending to wardrobe, body language... but it takes time, and it’s hard to risk losing an HB8 simply because I don’t want to agree to monogamy. At this point though, I want to spin plates without lying, but am afraid of losing the HB8s who seem to expect the commitment.

So what do you recommend? Dodge the question? Deflect? Keep it simple and say, “I’m dating, but nothing serious,” and if she demands an answer to “are you sleeping with anyone else,” be ready to accept that an HB 8 values my commitment more than her actual interest in having sex with me?