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We want to be open and honest. We want to have a safe haven.. where we gain strength...instead of having it pulled from us. We want to stop being on guard all the time... to simply be with someone who can understand our basic humanity without begrudging it... If we do, we soon are no longer able to.

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January 9, 2018
91 upvotes

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Title We want to be open and honest. We want to have a safe haven.. where we gain strength...instead of having it pulled from us. We want to stop being on guard all the time... to simply be with someone who can understand our basic humanity without begrudging it... If we do, we soon are no longer able to.
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 91
Comments 12
Date 09 January 2018 05:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/226711
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7p8jwe/we_want_to_be_open_and_honest_we_want_to_have_a/
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Comments

[–]TheLaughingRhino 4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy

I think the larger issue is the idea of a man and his "castle"

Think of Batman and his Bat Cave. Everywhere outside the Bat Cave, Batman has all the answers. Is invincible. No one sees him limp or bleed or cry or wince.

But in the Bat Cave, he rearms himself. He fixes his wounds. He lies on a table suffering. He faces his losses, his mistakes, his regrets.

There is also the "lockerroom concept", where in any shared male team environment ( sports, military, etc) , the leaders and bosses know the locker room is really a private space. Where the men can banter amongst themselves and be themselves.

When you live with a woman, esp an American woman, it's not a Bat Cave anymore. It's a Barbie Dream House. All the shit you do in the real world, frame up, be on edge to face any foe, prepare to take a hit, you have to double down right before you walk through your own front door.

When a man's home is as unforgiving as the brutal cold dark world outside of it, it's now a functional zero tolerance structure. Who can endure that forever? Never slip up, never show weakness, never lose frame, never have doubt.

Women were biologically built to be mothers. Not wives. Because most make truly shitty wives. And if you think about it, an unGodly number also make truly shitty mothers. Which sort of explains why so many guys are here, emotionally broken and halfway plugged in.

Want the test? Here it is.

When a man does something to benefit a woman, what doe she always do? Raise her expectations. You got me a diamond last time, why not two diamonds this time?

Men who want a safe haven with women involved are really asking for mercy from the world. And the hardest pill to take is they are completely merciless, all you've find is more expectation.

This is what pimps do in real life. They don't manage women. They manage women's expectations. Sorry guys, that's all there is to women. There's nothing more.

[–]Alexinfinite0114 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

That's why a "man cave" is so important. Really any space where you can have a bat cave like batman and rest a little here and there. People scoff at it in this day and age but it really is important. It can be a garage with car parts, fishing trip or even a board game night with your buddies. Just something or some time where you don't need to be quite as built up and as on guard as you typically need to be

[–]OrphanedVigilante16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yay! Being relegated to a garage or basement like some teenager or animal where I get to do all kinds of cool guy stuff and do karate!

You know what's the "woman cave"? The rest of the house!

[–]Menchstick1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The rest of the world actually, but this doesn't matter in the slightest. You're not a woman and looking at people that have it easier/had better luck than you doesn't do you any good, the opposite actually.

[–]jimbo_richie 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Just don’t get married in the first place.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could you expound on how pimps manage women's expectations? Maybe with a few concrete examples?

[–]JcHgvr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When a man does something to benefit a woman, what doe she always do? Raise her expectations. You got me a diamond last time, why not two diamonds this time?

I've had a privilege of watching this in real life. Happening to someone I know. It made me realise that once you get into the position of a beta provider she will not stop the demands. Like a black hole she will take in whatever she can giving nithing back.

Worse still every time she pushes forward and you take a step back she will resent you more.

A million side bars and stories could not not have been more eye opening.

[–]1EgocentricMegaloMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First few paragraphs, beautifully written brother.

In regards to “more expectation”, that can be explained as the solipsistic mindset of womyn. More, more, more. What is had in her mind is not good enough. men (uncapitalized purposely) will give more and more to try to keep up with her hypergamy. They just don’t know they are doing it.

Relates back to attraction. They are attracted to what they don’t know and don’t have. Stay mysterious. Easier said and heard than done and internalized.

Great comment brother.

[–]3chazthundergut10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Great article. To put things into perspective, this desire sits at the foundation of a man's life (not just with relationships). The temptation to take the easy route VS continuing to bear the yoke of performance as a man.

We want to take the easy path.

We want to stop sharpening our sword daily and let it get dull.

We want to stop grinding in the gym every day and let ourselves get soft on the couch.

We want to stop eating healthy and let ourselves get fat on shitty junk food.

Too bad.

To be a man is to shoulder the burden of responsibility for your life. To understand that life will never be easy, that you can never stop fighting, never stop grinding, never stop pushing yourself, and never lose your edge. To understand it, and accept it, and grind it out anyways.

[–]El_Reconquista2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not saying I disagree with you, but to what end?

[–]3chazthundergut11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

What end? The purpose of becoming a Man.

A big part of swallowing the Red Pill is seeing the world the way it really is, and not the way you wish it to be.

That means accepting and internalizing certain uncomfortable truths.

Such as: You will never find a woman who you can be fully open and vulnerable with and still maintain her attraction. You will never be able completely let your guard down and allow yourself to sink into the comfort of commitment. You will never be able to give fully of yourself to a woman, and expect her undying and unconditional love. You will always need to maintain your edge, you will always need to maintain a certain amount of tension if you wish to keep her attracted to you. You will always have to be better than her.

This sucks for men to hear, because it goes against the male fantasy (encouraged by cultural brainwashing) that they just need to find the right one, the right woman with whom they can finally take off the armor and rest easily, knowing that she will always love him fully no matter what.

This ties into the rest of what a man needs to accept if he is ever to fully develop as a Man.

Accept the uncomfortable truth that there is no final rest or comfort until you are dead. There is always work, always struggle, always tension.

If you want to become a Man, you must learn to kill the boy inside of you. The boy who wants to live as an infant in his mother's arms. Dispell yourself of the false promise that if you find the right woman, your struggle will end.

But if you succeed in killing that boy, and moving past your childish fantasies of an easy life, then you can start to get at the marrow of life. You can accept that life is a struggle that never ends. Accept that you will always need to maintain your edge, in all areas of life. Learn to rely on yourself for your emotional solace, for your validation, for your security. Learn to love the grind. Because the struggle of a man's life is itself the thing. The part of your life from which you derive meaning and joy.

So kill the boy, become the man, pick up the heaviest burden you can bear, and bear it.

[–]hatethisplace20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I don't. I just want a bed to rest. Even the best athlete can't go without rest.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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