708,624 posts

Absorbing the Loss of a "Good Woman" is how you get Rpilled

Reddit View
September 16, 2020
925 upvotes

I have written below my most valuable lesson in the Game and what seems to happen to all DJ's sooner or later.

There's a popular concept in PUA/Redpill that women are AWALT, without any exceptions.

However, life tells a different story for most of us DJs. You eventually come across a girl who is different from all the rest. You want to keep her because you objectively note her high value and the way she makes you feel (mind blowing sex, great company, chemistry, great shared experiences/memories, intellectual/spiritual/emotional connection etc).

This Good Woman comes into your life. You didn't necessarily plan on it. You were just doing your own thing, spinning plates and leading a free existence.

Months go by and you realise you've been spending a lot of time with this One girl. She has made it so easy for you. She arrives at your door every day with her eyes sparkling. She is besotted with you. Your other plates start to dissolve into the background and you fall into a bubble with your "good woman" - you enter co-dependency and Oneitis. You don't even notice it at first. It's usually a slow process to reach a point of "needing" her in your life. This happens through spending all of your time with her and isolating yourself from your options. You are now in scarcity. You have naively fallen under the feminine spell of your Good Woman.

Because you're a player and you know you could bang other women, you may feel frustrated from time-to-time that this "good woman", through her feminine magic, has isolated you from your options. However, you accept the isolation because you have fallen in love with her and the thought and fear of losing her eventually eclipses your will to act on your desires for other women. You have allowed this isolation to take place because nearly all men have one fatal weakness - an addiction to feminine affection that far exceeds our addiction to sex. The love and devotion of a Good Woman is the most powerful feeling a man can experience. You become her superhero and she worships you, you become her God.

Soon, you begin to notice this Oneitis is weakening you. You feel lazy and complacent, intoxicated by your woman like a junkie languishing in an opium den. You begin to make concessions to your woman. She has pacified you. To regain power and your sense of self you may temporarily act on your desires for variety and cheat with other women. All this does is serve to remind you of how special your Oneitis is. You go back to her, after cheating, feeling even more affection and love. She is none the wiser and is she is also intoxicated by your subliminal indecisiveness. You are her caged animal. She senses it. She doesn't fully own your soul yet, but she will soon.

She slowly but surely dissolves your masculine fortress and she becomes a part of you. A part of your identity. You are in serious trouble now. You can't leave her. You need her. She has become essential to your world.

You project your Oneitis onto her and assume, naturally, that she has Oneitis for you too. This is where the unravelling begins. The balance of power begins to subtly shift. She senses that you "need" her. Her subconscious starts to question your true worth - "Why does this man need me? I'm just a little girl, lost and scared, and this man is relying on me for his validation. He is so nice to me. Why??"

She begins to subtly sh!t test you. Little things like passive non-compliance. You fail a few of these tests. You lose your temper with her. She then starts to sh!t test more, desperate to see if you are a man who doesn't react to her feminine capriciousness. After failing more tests, she begins to build a new subconscious image of you. You are now a weak man in her eyes.

Then the distancing starts. A woman's true power comes from the giving and withdrawal of affection. It will be subtle at first. She will begin to express desires to do things outside of the relationship. She's no longer fulfilled by your presence in her life alone. The challenge of taming the savage bull is gone because you are always there and she senses your devotion to her. You are no longer her bull.

During the distancing process she may ask to go travelling somewhere, to go out on the town, to visit new places, to build more friendship circles. Alongside this, she will start to criticise you subtly, then openly. Little things at first. It might be as simple as telling you to take your shoes off at the front door (little compliance tests). She will start engaging less with your opinions and points of view. She will start questioning your masculine opinions and expressing scepticism. She has started to rebel against you and lose faith in your leadership.

Her admiration for you as a man is starting to fall.

If you are a good lover, then you can confuse this process for her because the sex is still great. You can make her come easily. She loves your sex, but her emotional/ intellectual connection to you is waning alongside of this. Great sex is an excellent bonding tool, but it is not enough if your woman also senses that you've fallen deeply in love with her. Her hindbrain can't be satisfied with this display of weakness and neediness. She senses your misguided male idealised Love and your failure to recognise her hypergamous, opportunistic feminine Love. She only loved you because she saw you as Above Her. She now feels she is your equal, or better than you. She can't control her inner disgust as this becomes realised. How can you be her best option if you need her so much? This must mean she can do better, and she starts to see the green grass on the other side of the fence. A rich, emerald sparkling shade of green. Your relationship has become a muddy paddock.

When your relationship has entered this dynamic where she KNOWS you love her idealistically, then the relationship is fragile. You may be able to maintain this dynamic for years, but your relationship is terminally vulnerable to outside influences:

- She meets an alpha at work who gives her tingles.- Her single friends start to tempt her towards "muhhhh freedom" and "YOLO Independent Womanhood".- She starts building a life and support networks away from you (this will become her go-to when she leaves you).- She starts spending nights with friends, family. She has stopped mate guarding you. You find yourself at home, while she is out. You begin to wonder what she's up to and waiting for her call.

Then, one day, a fight happens. You are frustrated with her rebellion. She's not the woman she used to be anymore. You make a power move and try to pull her into line - maybe you even instigate a fake break-up to scare her. She goes to her friends and tells them what a controlling and abusive boyfriend you are. They empower her to block you and cut you off. This was too easy for her.

The woman and the relationship that you've invested months and years in is gone in the blink of an eye. Seemingly overnight she has flicked her mental switch and has re-written you as a Nobody. Briffault's Law comes into play - your only value is how you're making your woman feel in that moment. Your history together and your past investment in her is not taken into consideration. She is a creature of "The Moment." No history, only the Now. Women are slaves to their present emotional state.

You are shocked by her strength and her ice coldness. She withdraws and disappears. Often she will be unreachable - either she's blocked you on all devices, or she is unresponsive to your calls and messages. Maybe she will communicate with you, but she's cold as a corpse. Your attempts at re-attraction fail dismally and your self esteem plummets. This was a woman who was once your Love Slave, and now she won't even talk to you. This is the hardest experience a proud man will ever face.

Some men never recover from this ego-shattering experience. Your mind tortures you with imagined scenarios of how you could have acted differently. With the benefit of hindsight, you see the relationship's decline with clearer eyes (something your proud ego was previously preventing you from seeing while you still had her - "She'll never leave me").

The dreaded "If Only" - If only you'd intervened earlier when she started distancing. If only you'd followed the rules and distanced even more when she began the distancing process. Why did you pursue her and try to negotiate attraction like a needy beta? You know better than this! How could you have been so stupid? You KNEW the rules, but you were lost in Oneitis and you thought the rules didn't apply to you - "This girl is different"-Syndrome.

You live with the regret. You broke the rules of attraction. You lost her. This is the archetypal story of Man in his journey of Idealised Love and Oneitis. This is the darkest shade of the Redpill.


Post Information
Title Absorbing the Loss of a "Good Woman" is how you get Rpilled
Author Lord-of-Circles
Upvotes 925
Comments 287
Date 16 September 2020 12:55 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/229103
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/itljnv/absorbing_the_loss_of_a_good_woman_is_how_you_get/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
leadershiptinglesmate guardingalphabetascarcityAWALTcheatinghypergamyplategamethe red pillPUA
Comments

[–]aahanatrey345 points346 points  (18 children) | Copy

All this can be avoided by simply not letting her take over your life. Self sufficiency is key. Know that at all times, you are all you need. So love her to the greatest depths of your heart, but have your own life outside of the relationship. Your own hobbies, dreams, close friends you can talk to that bring out the best in you. Oneitis may create a perfect fairy tale world with just you and her in it, but don't let that fake reality weaken you. Again, you are all you need. You are all you need. You are all you need.

[–]caoboi02575 points76 points  (3 children) | Copy

1000%. The most pleasurable things in life occur as a result of something not intended and expected. The more we try to manufacture happy moments, the more disappointed we get when it fails. Be authentic, be natural, be you.

[–]throwwayhubu-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is BP heaven "just be you". At some level you gotta realize that if you are you, you are on Reddit for example, no 8+ is down with a man who is on internet forums discussing mating atrategy. "Just be yourself" is horrible. Be the guy she wants to fuck, for everything else she is useless as modern women dont even cook or clean.

[–]caoboi0250 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's like you are playing a role for other people but not actually live your life. Sure, improve, but never lose your authentic self.

[–]throwwayhubu1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Disagree big time, if a girl is hot and she wants me to care about the Hanson Brothers then I'll pretend to care the fuck out of the Hanson Brothers. If she wants me to give up kitesurfing, she can fuck off.

[–]RedGille16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

I suggest the following: once in a while pass a day (24 hrs) without any contact with her. no texting, no replies, only u and what you have to do. cannot do it? u have a problem.

also, such incommunicado period is healthy redpill-wise. it reinforce the idea that she is not ur life support system. Both in ur mind and hers.

[–]imabadasstrustme14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree but I don’t think this should be some kind of PUA strategy to get her to like you. You should have enough things happening that you legit forget about her.

[–]Kirrawynne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sure. If you say so. Why don’t you try this out on your mom? I mean, if she has enough going on in her own life surely she won’t take 30 seconds out of her life to acknowledge you, right?

[–]imabadasstrustme21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

THANK YOU. There we go some actual answer instead of doom and gloom TRP pity party.

You guys know you can have an exciting life and have things going on while she’s the one waiting at home? She should be the one trying to tie you down and begging to hang out with you. If you have enough going on then you won’t need a one-itis obsession, the biggest problem of guys in this sub (I used to be like this too) is the obsession with women to make life worth living. Get a fulfilling career, a fufilling hobby, a fulfilling passion, be fulfilled in life and women will be like a nice appetizer.

TLDR: if a women is the best part of your life, you’re pretty fucked. 1 because it’s trying to find fulfillment in hedonism and 2 because she will leave you because of it.

[–]rad_dynamic4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I honestly need more anecdotes of people doing this, long term.

[–]4whatsthisgarg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I honestly need more anecdotes of people doing this, long term.

Here you go: She's just your girlfriend, she's not your Siamese twin

[–]surfthroughlife7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro thank you. I'm so fucking sick of this existential black pill bullshit where these needy fuckers get into relationships with a woman and just because they become needy as fuck, they project their entire existence onto this community.

God is personally all that I need and I've told my woman that. Sick of these wanna-be alpha fucking pansies that emotionally vomit onto woman and have no actual self-respect and self-esteem and blame it on the WOMYN.

[–]theomniscience243 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%. You don’t need her. If you Need her, you’re doing it wrong.

Being all you need yourself is such a great goal to have!

The great thing about it is that you can’t go overboard with it like other single statements/imperatives.

[–]Endorsed ContributorSKRedPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What most people are unaware of is just how much this frame will be shit tested and actually shat on. There are women who won't ultimately be in a relationship with you if you don't seem to ultimately need them or don't really want to fulfill their covert contracts.

You have to be totally willing to allow relationships to go up and down their cycles and even end if need be. The moment you don't want the good times to end, and you feel you can't live without the good stuff, that is when you become a little too dependent, and that's where your problems begin.

[–]Perksie10270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on. 35 years with a so beautiful and fun girl. She said I was only one to stand up to her. We moved countries. Things great few years then her Dad persuaded her to ‘hey you two been here 5 years why not move in.’

So niece, but yeah that’s what all couples do right? So started off ok. I was never big on house task. It was rented and we had cheap live out maid. Then the parents push for marriage. Woah easy there. So not more great parties on this island we live on in HK when the baby talk started con earnest.

See she had her plan. Met me, decent guy living with students from years ago. So I had unlimited uni lifestyle but money too. So ticked her boxes. Confident and job in meteorology

So off to HK 95. Had to live with her very posh parents who were cool. I’m from Oldham so your can imagine difference but fine

Kids turn up. Great few years. Loved it. Kid on shoulders makes all Dads happy.

So yeah, caged animal by now. So I started doing stuff on my own after I came back from work 9pm when kids in bed for 6.20. She watched stuff didn’t like. Hindsight. Instead of ignoring her for my high ranking pubg skills should have at least mutual plan. Mistakes were made. Seeing kids in small flat was ok but never chilled out really and apart from walk everywhere shut.

So big surprise march 2019. I wish I could have recorded it. I wasn’t always giving enough money. I pay rent, maid and 800 pounds on top

Ok finishing now. Yes was supposed to be breathing space , with out issued, hey Intimscy back (back in early years once got 3,back to back BJ after I’lleaving club in London. 1st one on coach back). See quality stuff.

So she went to see parents In Mauritius in aug 2019. One day on my bike ride, no hello, ‘are you paying 16 or 18k? Cold as ice. HAS been cold as since then. Total zeroing out. Not interested Papers signed. After 18 month I’m over it.

You have to learn about women as OP spot on. I’m 48 lost a lot, over 50 pounds due to swapping gaming with bike rides and 1.meal a day. Sorry for waffle/ just dont let your frame and guard down else briffault it is.

[–]t1g3rsh4rk133 points134 points  (47 children) | Copy

This is a pitch perfect description of my experience with my two most serious girlfriends. The latest one ended in March, with several months of neediness after. This tracks perfectly with my experience, beginning to end, and I say that without any exaggeration.

So what is the big takeaway? Never ever let down your defenses? Don’t fall for those first compliance tests? Pull back the minute she pulls back? Not rhetorical, what is the actual takeaway?

This is some kind of hypergamy cycle. She convinces the man to let his guard down, she gets turned off, leaves, process starts again.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 113 points114 points  (34 children) | Copy

The Game for women is to get the man to let his guard down and become co-dependant. Once she's achieved this then she gets bored.

You can never, ever let a woman feel like she "has" you. She must remain uncertain and anxious about how you truly feel about her forever.

[–]t1g3rsh4rk85 points86 points  (9 children) | Copy

She must remain uncertain and anxious about how you truly feel about her forever.

I hit a cognitive dissonance here because all of my experience suggests that this is true. I want to believe there is unicorn scenario, and perhaps there IS, but I have to admit up to this point, the pattern you’ve detailed here has been reality. But I also loathe the idea of manipulating a woman into staying with me. Playing our relationship like a game of chess. That feels unhealthy. Sad state of affairs. I feel like in the past that sense of actual partnership existed, and now with tinder and hypergamy being triggered every second every day, this is getting worse and worse.

[–]sweetleef43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

Recognizing her fundamental nature isn't manipulating her.

Is it manipulating her to take a shower so she isn't disgusted by your stench? Is it manipulating to have money so she isn't repelled by you being a loser? Of course not. Neither is avoiding being needy and weak.

[–]RisingUpAgain6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not “playing a game,”

It’s getting to the point where you can actually take it or leave it

[–]Twisted-Mettle-15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Enter Men Who Go Their Own Way.

Quick add on edit -

It’s ok to feel confused about these things (cognitive dissonance). You must always challenge your own perspectives, especially with things taught as morally “right” and “wrong” (again your own, not someone else’s).

It’s easy to break down manipulation in this context as a bad thing. But how is it bad when it’s what she’s craving? It’s how she gauges you to see where you’re at as a man, and/or if you can keep up with her mentally; because the female knows she cannot keep up physically. But she also figured out before you did that we cannot solve our issues with physical force. But she also demands nothing less than the “strongest” man.

The “fittest” men of our time are the ones able to play by the rules, his or otherwise, bend and break them as necessary, and still come out on top. There her cunning and wit, she’s figured out to better her odds at success at finding such men. And when two meet that able to see through each other’s intentions without there needing explanations, it becomes fun. It becomes a game.

[–]HangTheGods8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Enter Men

Well that's one solution I guess...

[–]trancedj0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They say men are the true romantics. ;)

Also, if the US Army taught me anything, it’s not gay if you’re the one doing the fucking.

[–]BigBoiBahmani1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

No unicorns out here bro. The hypergamy is an absolute truth. Instilled in females to the brim by nature. It is not bad, or right. It worked for women for millions of years. You can always be certain about women on this, if nothing else.

[–]Balderdash790 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Instilled in females to the brim by nature.

Getting mad at a woman for hypergamy is like getting mad at a dog for doing dog stuff.

[–]throwwayhubu-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Problem with the dog analogy is that the dog will never ever try to control you or assume ownership of your assets. The dog is much more submissive than the human female, so in a sense it makes even less sense to be mad at the dog, as anger and other forms of dominance are superfluous in relation to an allready submissive dog. You are still right about not being angry at nature's designs, Amused Mastery, but there is at some level a justified sense that it is a bad design.

[–]Balderdash791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are making excuses for a chance to be mad at a dog for doing dog stuff.

[–]KingPotential954 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

What if I want to open up to her? Is that considered beta? Why would I want to be with a woman who I cant share my emotions with? It just sounds tiring tbh

[–]1942eugenicist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look at life. It's always going to be.

[–]jrr6415sun9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

I don’t understand why women do this though, why do they want to get bored? Why do they want to destroy the relationship? In my situation the girl kept telling me she wanted a “nice guy”. She is older said she had been through a lot in her life and just wanted a nice guy. I told her for months that I knew that isn’t what she wanted but she gradually convinced me I was wrong and she was right. Why does she purposely sabotage the relationship like this? She wants to find the strongest alpha that won’t be tricked?

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 32 points33 points  (4 children) | Copy

Women constantly test and try to steal your frame (particularly if they suspect that you're not a strong man). It's a woman's role to follow the path you set for her. She doesn't tell you what she wants, You tell her what she wants. Your reality is her reality (and this is what a woman truly wants - to have her reality run by a man that she loves, respects and admires).

[–]SerenelyKo13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

Respect is the main thing here.

Women don’t want to feel like they are the caretakers of men. It makes them feel like mommies, and mommies shouldn’t be attracted to their babies.

Women want someone they can respect and admire. When a man falls into complacency, they essentially take that water balloon full of respect and jab a bunch of holes in it. Slowly, it’ll deflate until all that is left is a sad, soggy ballon. Don’t be a sad soggy balloon.

[–]Sumsar014 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Men want mommy love. Women want daddy love. To become a man is giving up om recieving mommy love from your lovers.

[–]SerenelyKo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A balance can be struck.

A woman who is happy to make you dinner and clean up after you and take care of you when you’re sick is providing “mommy love”. But when the man doesn’t reciprocate with the “daddy love” (being respectable, attractive, dependable, etc), then the woman would instead feel taken advantage of.

The ideal relationship is one where the man is able to be respectable which will in turn lead the woman to want to provide service for him. Then both sides are getting what they want.

And if you’re actually, without lying to yourself, a respectable and capable man and the woman you’re with isn’t stepping up, you shouldn’t be with her anyway.

[–]Greek-God-Brody22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my situation the girl kept telling me she wanted a “nice guy”

That's code for Ï am emotionally hurt by my alpha ex and need time to heal before I can chase alpha fux again.

That's why you often see women dating a nice guy after ending it with a bad boy. She takes the time to "heal", but at some point she gets bored and craves the excitement of an alpha again in her life.

[–]i-am-the-prize3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t understand why women do this though, why do they want to get bored? Why do they want to destroy the relationship?

evolutionarily, after 5-7 years the kids they bred with current-guy are now able to be self sufficient, so they are better off getting newer/stronger seed from a new alpha if they are nubile enough to entice one to actually bang her.

the female reproductive cycle was short for most of our evolutionary development (13-28? 15 years? so 2-3 pairings if you wait 5-7 years with each max)

  • twins were rare pre IVF
  • say you banged a lot as a woman and got 1 kid a year on average for those 15 years, you have to actually have a male 'chad-worthy' enough to GIVE UP your choice to get preggo by another male while carrying only these 15 kids
  • men can inseminate hundreds of women a year, the risk/reward "fork in the road" is much less costly to us, this i think feeds the light-switch effect and warbrides phenomenon - they were wired to 'switch quickly' to another mate, since they need to make him 'love her' so he hangs around. we can fuck another and it means shit, just a hole, when a woman fucks another, she's literally "approving of him" and voting with her pussy.
  • so when the current guy gets weak, as OP eloquently writes, her systems start looking for a new and stronger option. in a way they never stopped looking, but his downfall brings it to the fore of her brain.

[–]Sumsar011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They dont "do" it. It's a evolutionary response. That (maybe) is more pronounced now because of society.

[–]lemonsiete70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All women say they want a nice guy that doesn’t play games with them and manipulate them, it’s a lie. Women need excitement that’s what they crave most they want new experiences and if you’re just giving them the same sex, same conversations, same everything then she will leave you. If you create a stable environment where both of you never fight she will get bored, she wants to fight she wants to feel feminine she wants a man that is dominate and whatever he says or does happens. Back to the question “why do they say they want a nice guy” society would look down upon women if they said they “want a bad boy” it would make them look like a slut to society and it would also reveal their true nature so women cover up their desires but saying they want a good guy so society is accepting to them.

[–]jawnzoo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you think this applies to low value girls or only high value ones because they have options?

[–]Greek-God-Brody6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

Isn't the point of a relationship to become co-dependent with her, to emotionally bond? And don't you think that by keeping her uncertain, you gain nothing, because she won't fully commit to you, and all of the time she will be open to a way out with other man?

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 54 points55 points  (4 children) | Copy

It's counter intuitive because you're thinking about this through the lens of your Male Brain. Women are wired completely differently. Anxiety and Arousal are very closely linked for women.

A woman's love flourishes in a state of uncertainty, mystery and ambiguity. "I Just can't work him out" She thinks to herself, as she violently faps her mini bean.

[–]yungelonmusk22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

lmao u should write a novel bro

[–]Balderdash793 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

New on Amazon Prime Books:

"Jilling Off: The Fapping of the Mini Bean"

[–]Kirrawynne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a chance. Women worth their salt aren’t going to play that game. Tell yourself that all you want but playing games like that are just going to drive any woman you actually want to be in a relationship to leave. Living in a state of constant worry or stress isn’t going to make mature women stick around.

[–]sweetleef14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

She'll never fully commit to you, no matter what you do.

If you want true commitment, get friends, a dog, children (most of the time), but don't expect it from a woman, ever.

[–]HangTheGods5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

she won't fully commit to you, and all of the time she will be open to a way out with other man

This is how she'll always be regardless of how you act. You can emotionally bond without being completely & fully open all the time. Take it from an older guy - if you look at a relationship as a way to breathe a sigh of relief & "finally be myself" then you need to work on yourself.

[–]exton91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a great rule of thumb

[–]1BlondeHornyElf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ya you're right about gaming a woman long term.

but realistically.. if u don't put a baby in her, eventually it's in her interest to walk, even if she loves you to death. it's not just the fact that she managed to break you down, it's that she broke you down and you haven't even knocked her up yet imo.

[–]ace4516 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Coming from someone leaving a 6 year ltr who once had a "love slave" go cold I think the take away is to learn your lesson all the way. What I mean by that is I remember years back on here guys would swear up and down don't get into an ltr for at least a few YEARS after you've been practicing TRP because it takes years for you to fully internalize abundance and even then any LTR is going to require routine maintenance. Rollo talks about this alot deep down we want an ltr to be somewhere we go to rest but the reality is that is a fantasy, men are always judged by their performance most of all by the women who chose to hitch their evolutionary cart to yours.

[–]bluefingerblue4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

The whole write up is spot on. This just happened to me as well.

Not sure exactly what the takeaway is yet. I think first and foremost, you can’t let yourself get dependent or attached to any one woman until perhaps you have kids with her?

Outside of that, I have two thoughts. Either as soon as she starts building and increasingly relying on support networks / friends outside of you, it means you need to dive deeper into things that aren’t her.

Alternatively, once she starts doing that, as long as you still have some sort of frame control, you could do something bold to make her remember why she relied so heavily on you in the first place. Maybe a trip somewhere?

Obviously these are two very different approaches. And I’m not sure which one would be better. I will probably have to rely on trial and error unless anyone has any hard insight.

Thoughts?

[–]t1g3rsh4rk3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Trip sounds wrong. Trip sounds like rewarding bad behavior. Investing as she pulls away.

[–]bluefingerblue2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah I kinda agree. But pulling back in this specific instance seems wrong too.

For example, I did pull back when this happened in my most recent relationship.

All of the behavior in the write up was present leading up to the ultimate end, but when the end came, it was after she declined plans and didn’t offer an alternative for the first time.

I didn’t respond. She quadrupled texted me with kiss emojis and jokes about how I hate kissing her goodnight. I finally responded after hours went by and just said “False. But alright. Thought I responded” re: plans being a no go.

The next morning I could sense something was different. She didn’t text me all day. Finally I hit her up and say we’re still going to xxx on Saturday right? I got those tickets. She gets all weird and defensive like why wouldn’t we?

I know somethings up regardless. I call her later that night. She’s at the park with friends. Seems totally disengaged and over it. I’m like what’s up? I know somethings up. She spews some absolute bullshit about how she woke up that morning and realized something and doesn’t feel safe with me anymore.

I’m like so are we breaking up? She’s like yeah I think we should. So I’m just like alright, your loss and hang up. It was slightly more long winded than that, but honestly pretty close to accurate.

No contact since. The reason why I’m not sure pulling back is the right move is because I don’t think it would’ve played out the same way if I didn’t go cold on her the day prior.

It seems like I gave her the space to confide in her friends how shitty I am and they helped convince her she needs to get out. I dunno. Doesn’t really matter. That relationship is over. Luckily it wasn’t too serious and I’m not too affected by it.

But I know this situation will probably arise again, and want to make sure I’m prepared for it in the future.

[–]luguxd1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

In my opinion, You did right. Pulling back is not the perfect strategy to get the woman back but a move to show urself your own worth. Lets see what others think

[–]praguetologist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women start to checkout sooner than men. Think op did right, but it was too little too late by that point

[–]Lost_soul951 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What you need to do is never get into a relationship in the first place. Everything is great when its all casual and fun. Don't explicitly define a relationship. Keep her as a plate. If she asks "what are we" or some other gay variation of that, used amused mastery to avoid the question.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Jahshua2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t fall for the first compliance test? I am a little fuzzy on these. It’s basically where a girl asks you to do something to see if you’re going to be her little bitch right?

[–]Sumsar011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's only your turn. Learn how to move on quickly.

[–]jackandjill22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've literally never met a good women. I've met some "not bad" "decent" "mediocre" options but never good, that's why they're all the same to me. Maybe it's bad luck.

[–]PurpleLemon4de205 points206 points  (15 children) | Copy

A lot of people shitting on this thread because it’s true. I’ve seen this happen so many times to friends

[–]PurpleLemon4de122 points123 points  (11 children) | Copy

Girls turn alphas into betas more than you’d think

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 83 points84 points  (8 children) | Copy

I thought I was immune. I was a fortress of Aloofness and Game. Amused Mastery was my middle name.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb47 points48 points  (7 children) | Copy

Don't under estimate the influence from her envious friends.

She told them how good you were to her and they planted the feminist seeds in her head to sabotage her relationship with you.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 112 points113 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's tempting to blame the friends because this absolves us. If your relationship has reached a level of decline where her friend's opinions hold more weight than yours - The relationship is as good as dead. You are not her leader anymore. Her friends are her leaders now.

When a woman is in love, then she ignores all the naysayers and will crawl over shards of glass and barbed wire to be next to you.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's tempting to blame the friends because this absolves us.

It's one sided though. They know all about you and they tell her to break up with you but if you told her to break up with her friends, then you're the evil male controller.

[–]Dumloko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why would you tell her that? If you maintain frame, whatever her friends say doesn't matter in the long run.

[–]chomponthebit27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women hate women who are happier than themselves and will sabotage that shit in a heartbeat. Misery loves company

[–]TeddyMGTOW5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Should be no shame, there's even the story of Samson in the Bible.

Now making the same mistake over and over, thats dumb

[–]PsychedPsyche42 points43 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it’s happened to most of the fellas here, myself included. The nature of man is typically that we have to learn from our mistakes. Sure, an inexperienced guy could read this thread and never make these mistakes himself. But that’s highly unlikely, most of us have to live through it the hard way.

The best of us truly learn from this kind of experience and go on to have truly fulfilling relationships (hopefully).

[–]spcparks4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

So true. I was destroyed by this last onitis. It literally sucked the life out of me. I had to go to therapy for it. But, it changed my entire life. I realized I was not the man I had thought I was and the man I could be. I knew I needed to make changes.

It’s been 5 months and I started two businesses, on the path to be making 40k profit a month, have 7 percent body fat, and more confident than I have ever been.

We have to go through this in order to grow and a woman’s pain is simply the best way to know how much your fuckin up in life.

[–]jrr6415sun18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just happened to me, wish I would have read all of this sooner. I was treated like an alpha and liked it so much I became dependent on it and turned into a beta.

[–]Dukkas78 points79 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Your mind tortures you with imagined scenarios of how you could have acted differently.”

How true this is, I spent many a sleepless night replaying things in my head trying to figure out what went wrong. Awesome write up, OP, fuck the haters.

[–]TiredOfBeingMediocre37 points38 points  (14 children) | Copy

I am suffering from oneitis 10 months after she broke up with me. It’s eerie how closely this resembles what happened between us. I’m glad I’m not alone in having experienced this, but I just cannot move on. Depressed, suicidal, and obsessed with what she’s up to. I see her social media posts. She moved in with the guy I suspect she was cheating on me with. I’m so fucked in the head right now.

[–]Idigabighole69 points70 points  (3 children) | Copy

I see her social media posts.

This is where you start to move on. You HAVE to go absolute no contact. Block/delete her off of everything, and I mean everything. Block/delete her #. Burn any paper reminders of it. Delete/throw away old pictures. I mean fucking nuke absolutely every last reminder of her. Use her cheating if you have to and get. fucking. ANGRY. Anger is more constructive than sorrow. Its your fucking life, not hers. Stop letting her own it. Trust me she doesn't gaf about your current emotional state. Start with the gym. Go in there and lift. Let your anger pour out through your skin and eyes and sweat and bones. Hit the heavy bags. Get involved in something. Like life. Believe it or not in a few years, you'll be disgusted at the way you're acting now, unable to recognize the creature you currently are. But you have to start with one step. Shes gone. Forever. Accept and be better and take value from the hurt.

[–]BraulioALmeida21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

THIS! I can't tell you enough how this is spot on. No contact rule save me from depression. Gym gave me self-esteem. 8 months later i'm a better man. This breakup was the best thing that happened to me in years.

[–]Naitra4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No contact is the way to go. You will feel sad for max 1-2 months before going on with your life. Of course best way is to never reach a point where you obsess over some hoe in the first place, but you gotta experience the cold hard reality first.

[–]drsherbert38 points39 points  (6 children) | Copy

Dude stop. It’s happened to all of us. Your situation is not unique. Get over yourself. If it wasn’t you it would’ve been some other poor sack of shit. You know how many guys probably ate the other guys load right out their girls twat after some other dude just busted in her? The numbers are staggering. Accept the fact that you’re alone in this world and no woman is gonna fix you. Block her ass and move the fuck on for your own health.

[–]TiredOfBeingMediocre11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

no woman is gonna fix you

i desperately need to ingrain this in my head. im trying but i just fucking cant. you’re absolutely right though.

[–]sweetleef5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop thinking, start acting.

You can't think your way to success, you have to act. Set some goal, doesn't matter what it is, then work to accomplish it. When you do, set the next goal. Repeat.

[–]IntelligenceLtd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

dont really have the energy to comment but this bro: block, set goals (daily ones you can work on that will lead to something bigger) journal and meditate (in that order) took me over a year to start feeling better trauma is like a stock car race where every thought is a car you are going to have random crashes and it will damadge you that is going to happen you cant help it but after a while those cars become more broken down (if you allow yourself to think about them its like your team was repairing them) but over time they become more and ore damaged and cars will drop out but if you keep on your purpose meditate and journal and dont reapir them by giving mind to them they will eventually drop out (its important to understand them, whats causing them and the underlying reason they make you feel that way like any racing driver understanding how his opponenets drive. But at the end of the day they only lose their power if you keep going after each crash

[–]jrr6415sun4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel the same way as the guy above and I don’t think I’m special. I had someone that was obsessed with me and treated me like a king and then it’s gone instantly. I don’t know if I will ever find something like that again. I was along for years I don’t want to be alone again. Moving on is not as easy as just saying the word.

[–]bjcm58911 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]RedPillShamrock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Song helped me feel better thanks for sharing

[–]Greek-God-Brody10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am suffering from oneitis 10 months after she broke up with me.

It could be worse. Imagine some guys have oneitis after girls who they haven't even fucked

[–]sweetleef4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's very common, you're definitely not alone. There are thousands of posts here about oneitis, for a reason.

The quickest cure for it is to find more women. When you find enough, you'll realize that there's nothing special or unique or irreplaceable about any of them. Then you'll eventually realize that you don't need any of them.

[–]spcparks2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro I was there and still recovering. Use this as a way to grow. This will be your best shot at becoming the man you want to be. The pain from this may never happen again so use it wisely.

I got destroyed from my last oneitis. It’s been 5 months and I had to go to therapy my brain was so Messed up. I took that pain and made major changes in my life. I went from a loser to creating 2 businesses and now on the other to doing 40k a month and am also about 7 percent body fat.

I would have never made these changes if it wasn’t for her. Now, it still hurts and I don’t want to go back there again but I am glad that it happened because it showed me what I was and what I wasn’t.

The pain will show you what your ego has been blocking all this time. Use it wisely! It is a gift!

[–]TheGweatandTewwible52 points53 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis is 110% on the man. If you live a fulfilling life, whatever that may be, your girl can call you an ugly dog and you would not give a fig of a shit. It might hurt to have a gal leave if you really appreciated her but at the end of the day, all you got is you. Oneitis is a symptom of the disease, not the disease itself.

Quick note: feeling hurt after a breakup is not oneitis. If you're a human being, loss WILL hurt you. But nothing can rock your self-worth if you do things right

[–]shittyfuckdick52 points53 points  (8 children) | Copy

Just got out of a 7 year LTR and this is spot on

[–]Pezotecom25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

nice to see you here, are you lifting? talking to girls? leave reddit and read a book! :)

[–]shittyfuckdick6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lift with resistance bands only cause the gyms very recently opened back up. I have no other women in my life. I guess I should start reading.

[–]Blazer8085 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can't just tell him to read a book without recommending any of your latest reads.

[–]ProdigyPizza2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thats true, u/shittyfuckdick since the redditor above left out his latest reads I recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It helped me get out of a bad place and really changed my perspective on living.

[–]Blazer8082 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree, u/shittyfuckdick should check out Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, just check out reviews to get a version that wasn't poorly translated.

[–]ProdigyPizza1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've read the penguin classics edition and I was very pleased with the way it was worded. It's available on Amazon used or brand new.

[–]Karts171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"that person who you thought you fell in love with, doesn't exist."

  • masteralpha Jocko Willink

[–]HemorrhoidPi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same here, brother. 5 years, this post is spot on.

[–]BalkanChrisHemsworth19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely Agree. My ex was a "good girl" and having her shatter all of my BP fantasies definitely steered me towards the red pill. Looking back I can see why the relationship went down the shitter. I spent the whole relationship thinking she was the one who was causing it to fail instead of my needy ass lol.

[–]jrr6415sun17 points18 points  (12 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ are you reading my mind? This has all happened to me in the last 3 months. Every single emotion you typed I felt. I’m now in the “if only” phase. Thinking about everything I did wrong and how I didn’t follow the rules because I thought she was different.

Where were you 3 months ago to stop me from becoming a dependent beta? I had a girl obsessed with me. I never had someone so interested in me in my life. I felt like I was king and nothing I could do would make her lose her love. She kept telling me she wanted a nice guy and I was too mean but I knew better. I stayed strong for months until I couldn’t take her comfort tests anymore and I gave in and started being nice to her. I thought she was different she loved me so much how could being nice to her do that much damage?

I gradually became dependent on her Goodmorning texts, her calls at night, her sex. Eventually I got too needy and she lost respect for me. She started pulling away slowly. Texting me less, hanging out with me less. I noticed the change and tried to fix it the most beta way possible by Being as nice as possible and trying hard to get her to love me again. It came off as being needy and she liked me less. It was a downward spiral. The more she pulled away the more I got needy, which made her pull away even more. The whole scenario got flipped. All I had to do was pull away instead of get needy and I wouldn’t be in this situation. She no longer craved me, I craved her love and affection. She was a 6.5/10 at best and I didn’t care because her love was like crack. Every time we left she would text me within 5 minutes telling me how much she already missed me and wanted to see me again. It made me feel amazing to be wanted so bad and I got addicted to it.

Towards the end Our relationship was still there but She knew she had the upper hand. She lost respect for me. When we first started dating she told me I was intimidating. I mentioned this to her that she used to be intimidated by me and she laughed in my face. we were fragile. Im pretty sure she met another guy and it was over from there. She kissed me goodbye every day, then one day she said she couldn’t. I knew the day was coming because she kept getting more distant. Her kisses were all I had left of how we used to be. I asked her why? What happened? She wouldn’t tell me. I knew it was because of another guy but she wouldn’t admit it. I pleaded with her to tell me what was going on and not leave me in the dark. She was stone cold and icy and didn’t budge. She made me look like a crazy person in front of her friends for wanting to know what was going on. I got mad at her and pulled a power move and blocked her. Hoping she would miss me. When I came back a few weeks later to check on her it was over. She no longer had interest in me and already convinced herself what we had never happened. I begged for her to come back or if we ever had a chance again, sealing my fate of never being with her again.

I am depressed that someone could be so in love with me and turn to ice cold in a month or less. It’s heart breaking. I’ve had suicidal thoughts but I keep telling myself that would only give her more pleasure. It’s been 2 weeks and she hasn’t texted me, I’m sure I’m blocked. I regret all of my actions and wish I would have followed the rules and never been “nice” to her like she begged me to for months.

Even typing this I still hold out hope that she will come back, it’s pathetic.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

She was so attracted to you in the beginning because she wanted something from you = Your devotion and nice-ness. Your aloofness and strength at the beginning of the relationship gave her tingles in ways her conscious mind couldn't comprehend. Women have no control over their feelings of attraction (this is a subconscious process which sits in her hindbrain).

When you pulled the power move and blocked her, you should have maintained it. If you maintain No Contact from now on, no more reaching out whatsoever, then you'll likely hear from her within the next 2 years - after she's played the CC and realised that most men are garbage and emotional connection is rare.

It's crucial though, that when she does reach out it will be for validation and to know you still want her. It's all her ego. Never give this to her. She never gets your attention/validation ever again. Best she will ever get is FWB, but even that's too good for her. The choice is yours.

....Just know that they do (usually) eventually reach out. Just don't wait for it.

[–]1BlondeHornyElf8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

this post is the realest shit i've read in a while don't listen to any haters.

just becuz you got in shape and banged 10 hotties doesn't mean you are "red pill" or whatever the fuck.. that shit's easy. losing a girl you love is real pain.

[–]jrr6415sun1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes I read some of the first texts I had with her and I was aloof, not caring. Completely different attitude than the loving beta I was at the end. I was going through life making myself better she was nothing to me. I know that made her crazy in love.

When she started seducing me with her love I had never felt that way before and I became addicted. I didn’t even like her that much I just craved her love. I didn’t realize how addicted I became until it was way too late and she told me I was needy.

Thank you for the advice. Yes I have planned to never give her my attention or admit I want her again. I know that text may come one day where I will have to act like I don’t care. I have been hoping I would get it these last few weeks of her wanting to know if I still like her. Deep down I know it may be years if it ever comes, I just wish I didn’t live in denial that it will happen anytime soon.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]jrr6415sun0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She is damaged, she was damaged before me. She warned me many times and I didn’t listen. She told me she had such intense feelings for me that she was holding back because she didn’t want to get hurt like she has been many times before. She told me she has “been through a lot” or used that as an excuse every time we got into a fight. I didn’t hold back and I was the one that ended up hurt.

I can’t tell if she’s BPD because of how intense her feelings were or if all girls are like this. She is definitely getting pumped right now. She just started on a strict diet which to me means she is with someone she thinks is better than her, most likely to an alpha. but I don’t see anyone with much value who would want to keep her and all her baggage unless they fall for the same trap I did and was addicted to her love. I can already picture her warning her new guy not to get needy like I did, that she has been through a lot and I’m a crazy stalker. When I dated her everyone she knew was a “crazy stalker” of hers. Now I’m another one.

Yes I’ve thought many times if/when I better myself to get her back I would be too good for her anyway and could be with an undamaged girl.

I don’t know how she feels my energy though, I haven’t texted her or let her see any sign of depression for the last 2 weeks, although I regret all the beta things I said when we first broke up, I was just shocked at how little she cared about the past.

[–]sweetleef3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She told me she has “been through a lot”

It'd be a good bet that every woman on Earth has used that line in a relationship at some point.

[–]jrr6415sun1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea I usually rolled my eyes when she said that.

[–]themidnightfox2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right there with you. She was so head over heels into me early on that I thought I was invincible, could do no wrong. Why not act a little beta? She’ll still love me. Nope! Crazy how quickly it turned. From her saying I’m everything she’s ever wanted in a guy and no dating experience has ever come close, to her just dropping me with no interest in even trying to work through it.

[–]jrr6415sun1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Crazy how a lot of us have this experience. Wish life was different and we didn’t have to constantly have our guard up. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes and there will be another situation where we can do right next time.

[–]Miseryboay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The exact same thing happened to me bro and I'm still recovering. Accept that is over and you will start moving on. Just remember: be patient, it will get better week by week. Stay strong!

[–]__sad_but_rad__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't kill yourself, you've learned an invaluable lesson on intimate relationships with women. Don't hold on to hate. Accept that this will leave a scar in your heart, and move on. Focus on healing from the emotional trauma of losing someone important. You just went through some rough shit bud. It will be hard, but in the end you'll come out a wiser, stronger man.

[–]beachbbqlover15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

It was actually my sweeheart when I was 17 who turned me redpill, and before we even split.

She was very push/pull and liked things rough and sort of brought me to the point where I couldn't give a fuck anymore.

One day she said "maybe we should separate" trying to control a conversation and I just walked. Two weeks later she was knocking my new door with tears in her eyes, and sort of shattered when she saw the one I had already inside.

[–]BestVersionOfMyself_2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

sort of shattered when she saw the one I had already inside.

English is not my native, so by "the one I had already inside" was another girl?

[–]-TakeDownMan-7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, she was inside him because he transformed into Chadpire and swallowed her whole.

[–]exton92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not you, the sentence is ambiguous

[–]Warlord_85313 points14 points  (9 children) | Copy

This is exactly what happened with me. I just lost my girlfriend during the covid lockdown and I've been shattered because I just became a nobody to her overnight. I keep thinking "if only" and it's useless vicious cycle as it's increasing my anxiety more. I just don't know how to come out of this and save myself.

[–]1BlondeHornyElf7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's not just you man. a lot of the guys in here had this exact experience. i was in no way the beta to my ex, at that time i was the alpha of my little scene and we spent every night fucking like rabbits and every day living life together. it was the real thing.

but ya life happens and shit changes and sometimes you lose the girl. the hardest part is accepting that her indifference is for real. even if you're fed up with her you still love her and have sentimental feelings for her. meanwhile she couldn't care less if you died in a car crash. it's almost impossible to swallow becuz you can't fathom how she can be utterly indifferent after you two spent years building a life together.

either a man cares or he doesn't, it's totally different for us. we can't just amputate chunks of our soul like that.

[–]-Anon13-6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Mindfulness and absolutely no contact or reminders. Quit masterbating, suddenly your interest in other girls will spike.

[–]jrr6415sun1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What is the benefit to no masterbation?

[–]kaarols4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If less men were indulging in masterbating (process of growing master bats), there would be no covid-19 today, as we all know the virus originated in bats.

[–]Wellnessable3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to the No Fap community. They explain everything.

[–]halflotus2-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are many and powerful.

[–]jrr6415sun2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I feel the same, covid made me more needy because there wasn’t as much to do. I’m shattered and heart broken as well.

[–]themidnightfox1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup same. Can’t stop thinking about the what if’s if covid never happened, if we tried again in normal times. We had something great and I drove her away. Crazy how clear it is to see in hindsight.

[–]throwawaypain34531 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hello,

This is EXACTLY what happened. This post actually bring tears to my eyes, this is step by step what happened to me, lost my "good woman", divorced, and sadly, the pain is still fresh...

I am thankful that someone out there, despite being a stranger, knows my pain. This is indeed the harshest shade of red, the ego shattering is mind blowing, literally conceivable reality is no longer truth, everything is questionable. Couple that with loss of job, loss of most my friends, death of pet... The past year has been the most painful year of my life. I cry daily.

However, losing my ego and my life is a very fair trade for what can come in the future. I will shape my life to make the best of it, I will no longer buy into the false reality the people preach, and I will always have my best interest in hand. Beneath the unbelievable pain is a lot of excitement... I actually look forward to the future, first time in years.

Men, we are created by hard times. Be sure to use yours wisely...

[–]OneTrueQ11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Experienced this. It pisses me off how strong they are in cutting you off with the support of her whore friends and just utterly shatters you in every way. Took me months of introspection and sifting through pain to recover from this. Shit will make you stone cold man. The key here is when you actually find the ‘different’ women that nonetheless is still a woman, and will punish a drop in frame like its mortal kombat or something.

[–]dont_tread_on_me_77712 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You just dissected how my first LTR ended a few hours ago. I’m impressed, it’s insane seeing someone I never met describing exactly — detail by detail —something I just went through.

Eye opening.

AWALT.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (5 children) | Copy

You have no idea. Leaving this breadcrumb just in case this thread is up tomorrow.

[–]cant__find__username12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

The people who made this sub and what it was are long long gone.

I wouldnt be surprised if this thread even becomes a highly upvoted one.

[–]lefty92915 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are you talking about?

[–]onforspin4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You’re right I’ve been lurking for years and the quality of the sub dropped noticeably after it was quarantined unfortunately

[–]IntelligenceLtd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Is there any way to find archived posts, In what way would you say the quality dropped

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Search by "top of all time."

[–]GraveyardZombie8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

1000x this when that person is your wife and has the legal side in her favor. How in the flying fuck does one pass through the cages(child support, alimony, financially destitute) being put around you?

[–]yaboyebeatz5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

You fight and resist the temptation (that should be gone anyways) to get back together even though you would benefit financially from it. Hold your frame, stay focused on your goals and stay in your kids lives.

[–]GraveyardZombie4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks for the response. What about if yall still together? How to deal with those thoughts that might prevent you from doing your way knowing that in an instant she can take everything from you? Unfortunately, I learned about the red pill after I got married. So my mind constantly tries to scare me of the position that I am so I am looking for ways to protect my self(money, investments, kids) so that my frame and RP journey will be untouched by her fuckery even if she has the legal side in her favor. English is my second language, bare with me.

[–]yaboyebeatz7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

You cannot be redpill in a marriage or relationship. You are purple pill. You need to continue to stay woke. Continue to build towards your goals. If you understand female nature, you are in a tuff spot because you know eventually, what is going to happen. Don’t hate her, understand what you are dealing with and always stay ahead of the game. Go to the gym, have a savings, keep your frame when tested, do not ever be afraid to ever walk away. Dig her guts out and continue to give her the best dick you can, shit, sometimes don’t even bust. She’ll get to thinking why she can’t make you nut. Reward her only when she deserves it. You treat her like a star and she will treat you like a fan. If you have kids, you already lost that battle with the system, accept it and try to prepare for what’s to come if you do leave. All in all, you don’t deal with the thought of her female actions, that’s blue pill and that isn’t what you are. You enjoy your time with her and that is all. Imagine if you were to have a rotation and have a girlfriend at the same time. If you are digging all these guts, who’s digging your girls guts and making her bust? Never let your emotions take over. Enjoy the ride and exit immediately when she becomes non submissive otherwise, you will forever be the beta in her eyes and end up like the guy in the story above. You are the prize, you have the higher value, you can careless. Like I said, enjoy the ride to the fullest, hopefully she is different and she won’t end up like the rest of them but if she does, you won’t give a single fuck because you are already prepared to enjoy life with or without her.

[–]GraveyardZombie-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Will do. I appreciate your response.

[–]Idigabighole4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to MRP sub. You will find what you need there. Trust me. Just don't expect gentle handling. You won't get it.

[–]hwhitefarmer-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thoughts are from the devil

[–]sweetleef2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have two options: either surrender (and spending your time mentally anguishing over it without doing anything is the same as surrendering), or do something to defeat it.

Identify a source of your weakness, then set a goal toward removing it, then act on it.

If money is your weakness, make more money. You don't have to become Trump overnight, but set some goal and work towards it. Learn a new skill, look for a better job, learn about divorce law, learn more about investing, read about how rich people got rich, investigate side hustles, list ways to spend less, there are many things you could do. Pick one, do it, then pick another, and keep repeating.

The point is that spending your time thinking about all of your problems, how unfair life is, and how fucked you are will solve nothing. You have to do something about it.

[–]-TakeDownMan-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get a job in a non extradition laws, move to a country with non extradition laws after selling anything you're not taking with you and start over. That's assuming she's taking a lot of money.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men have no control over the influence of her friends and family.

You might not know who they are but they are pulling all her strings.

OP's story shows how much work a relationship is for men.

For women, all they have to do is put on their leggings.

[–]PosnerRocks7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was in this photo and I don't like it. I was redpilled when I met her and knew how the relationship would probably pan out but figured I'd try to go for a redpill LTR anyway. I made the mistake of falling in love and I'll tell you what my friends. Knowing that something is going to break your arm doesn't lessen the pain when it happens.

Met a girl in law school. Classic ego tripping power couple dynamic. We did everything together. Classes, projects, pro bono, and traveled the world. Then she went big law, I didn't. She lost attraction. Lost respect for me. The criticism tests are so on point. You will never be able to do anything right when a woman hits this point. She spent all her time working at an office on the other coast because of a trial. Then she wants to move to a far more expensive apartment and make me pay 50/50 despite her making triple what I was. Says she doesn't want to support anyone. So I walked away. Not long after she moves to another firm and is magically dating a partner at that office on the other coast she spent all her time at.

Wasn't mad about it. Knew if I didn't also go big law it would happen but it sucked all the same and it wrecked me for a couple years. Took a trip to Colombia with some buddies to snap me outta it and get back on my A-game.

Anyone who is reading, OP is 100% accurate. You've been warned.

[–]Endorsed ContributorSKRedPill6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This pattern and this lesson will never get old. We knew this thousands of years ago (it's been written down), and we'll still be teaching boys these things ten thousand years later, and still this story simply can't be repeated too many times.

The good times are actually the most dangerous times...

Most of us think it's over when success comes easy. Most of us would stop right there as soon as we've used just enough Red Pill truth to get what we wanted. All of us are here for the prize and reward of the woman and it takes a long time to realize that isn't the end.

You think you're a success because you've found success? Think again.

After reaching the peak, the only way is down. A pull eventually must come to a point where a push must begin.

The Blue Pill ideal has been infatuated and fed on the idea of "Happily Ever After" right from childhood. The reality is that we humans always run in cycles and relationships too are no exception.

Like the "Avatar State" -- The moment where you're most powerful is also when you're most vulnerable -- The moment when you're her God. Why? Because to the ego, God is ultimately a tool - the ultimate tool. It needs to create the ultimate tool, for which it first makes something the ultimate, and then it reduces that something to the tool. In the beginning it is about the ultimate, and for a few moments where it isn't about you you and more you -- it can make you swoon with fervor. When your God becomes the tool, it's really only about you, and you hate the God who can't sit on your pedestal with a passion.

The more her awareness is centered on you, the more her attraction to you. The more her awareness becomes centered on her, the more her contempt to you.

The moment where she insists you stay on her pedestal and feels bad about herself if you act as you please ("Why, don't you like me?") is the moment where the covert contract first turns up. It is the beginning of "She she she" and the moment where the first crack in your frame appears. That moment is the beginning of betaization.

The truth is, as human beings, our emotional brains give to get by default. The entire game of love is the ultimate covert contract, and unfortunately, no matter how much we pretend we're virtuous enough to be above it all, the game doesn't really run without it.

Therefore, the game is in a way like walking on a tightrope. Fall too far to one end, and the relationship dies due to not enough investment. Fall too far to the other end, and it dies by too much investment. The line is not fixed. It oscillates in push-pull cycles. A down-cycle is the start of another up-cycle, but there's no guarantee you both will be in it for the next cycle.

Usually long term relationships manage this by having a large number of smaller cycles of push and pull with less extreme of an impact either way, so it's not as extremely polarized as it is in the case of extreme soulmate "twin flame" love followed by RIP relationship, but the cycle of relationships still exists.

Unfortunately the hardest Red Pill to swallow is that success is NOT the end of the road and never really was -- it is not over until you're truly dust. Success is not the real prize. The truth is.

[–]luguxd25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hits home. LTR are really hard nowadays.

[–]AgreeableHelicopter2-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s why we dont do them.

[–]exton96 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Described my last rs to a tee, this is what I've come to realize as well. While unfortunate, I can only take this knowledge with me as I move on.

This pulls you out from the nawalt dream and back to the red pill.

[–]yaboyebeatz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This my boys, is exactly why, I am the Alpha Male I am today. Taking the redpill was the best decision I’ve made for my growth as a man.

[–]MandingoMaasai4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a brilliant post. It encapsulates the journey most dominant men go through with that one woman who they think they need to change for and get serious about. Then they get dumped once they are subservient and wonder what went wrong.

I love this because the past couple of months if not years, this subreddit has been posting RP 101 talking points but this is something even I find I can benefit from.

[–]MenOnFire964 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best advice I ever got from someone is to learn how to be dominant. And by dominance begins by practicing self dominance. Have a really strict daily routine where you have to do hard things like workouts, studying or learning difficult things and ideally sleep and wake up before 12am/8am. Once you start practicing this lifestyle you'll realise you dont really have the time for your women as much. Its supply and demand. She will appreciate you more when she realises that even as she is around you and you are busy with your routine. So eventually when you do give her your time she will do everything right to cherish it.

Heck sometimes even pretending to sit and study on laptop while ignoring her works. And if you dont want to workout that day even going for a walk works. Just keep busy and not give her as much attention.

I watched a show on dog training recently and I've learned so much. Women are quite similar to dogs. You gotta train her and discipline her.

[–]Amon353 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Count me in my friend because this is exactly what happened to me. Top of my game, everything almost perfect and then caught oneitis with a "quality" chick. 3 years later got cheated. I found out 2 days later when I choose an engagement ring. Thankfully I didn't gave deposit. I used to be an alpha dude then I slowly succumbed to a low place.

The note everyone should take is every chick is capable of this. They know how to poison you. Even if you are redpilled. Afterall women hangs out lots of dudes and as a result they master their craft.

One chick is better than the other thats for sure. However mindset is all the same. They always try to lower you to their level to cut you off from your options.

[–]blaseee0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

First „alpha“ dude I‘ve seen buying an engagement ring.

[–]Amon351 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I was awesome then started to slip up three years later without realizing. Chick was acting like a unicorn and people ready to sell you some bluepill drug too.

I have no excuse of course. Should knew shit was coming. Bluepill is one hell of a drug :D

[–]1BlondeHornyElf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it's easy to blame men for becoming blue-pill like this... easy to condemn him... but let's get real for a second - if we can't count on women to be loyal or committed whatsoever, then what hope is there of people starting families and investing into the future?

like really... even if you're a total alpha man with a free spirit and great personal ability, you're still going to die someday... you still want to try and build something while you're on this Earth... the solution can't be to just forfeit the future that is pure nihilism and retreat into frivolousness.

i believe guys when they say they were alpha but over time got chipped apart by a female. this can happen to any decent man of character. if the only solution is to become a dishonorable sociopath then our society as a whole is the problem imo.

[–]-Anon13-3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. You will be held mentally hostage for ahwile. You don't really quit thinking about them, you just learn to live as a man who parted ways with a oneitis.

[–]slip-down4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This describes many of the relationships I've seen, and my own personal relationship with my oneitis through college. It absolved after graduation. The power dynamic shifted and she found a temporary alpha and crushed me. She needed to do what she did. I believe women need to have that final crushing moment. They need to see you beg them to come back because it validates their actions. This is why indifference and silence make them frantic. If a women leaves you and you go radio silent and move on without showing any emotions, it makes them question that last decision.

As you mentioned in the post women are creatures of the moment. Yes they've rewritten history in their favor, but that last decision when she monkey branches and you don't fight back makes some of that fog disappear, even if it's briefly. I've seen men on both ends of the spectrum. The guys who were push overs and emotional that flip when their girl leaves them always, always become that ex who got aways. It's almost comical.

This post summarizes a lot of the red pill. I always looked at the oneitis a fall from grace. When you get in a relationship, you're playing on the women's home turf. She has fans, friends and orbiters shouting and 130 decibels. You on the other hand have some fans that have nose bleed seats and are treated as away fans usually are. You have to be well prepared with game tape (theredpill). Your couching staff have to be elite and your team needs to be stacked; great career, many hobbies, social prowess, fit and staying fit, building constantly and many more. You need to keep her offense off balance; beating shit tests, not mate guarding, constant indifference, push pull ie reward punish behavior etc, etc.

You will lose the game without experience. This comes from plating. I don't know of any other way. To me, reading every post on trp and going as far as memorizeing them has squat on experience.

I'll never say good luck because you're all men. So, build.

[–]o0perfect0o4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got red pilled from escaping a psycho bitch and then noticing that her tendencies were just a magnified version of every normal woman.

[–]_Ulan_7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

You wrote a story about man who thinks he is RP whilst he is only seeking romance.

That is the problem with this sub recently, there are many new people trying to use RP tricks to satisfy their romantic needs

The "Alpha Male" you describe has nothing to do with a RP. He is not living a dream life, he is not treating his women like the little bitches they wanna be, he is not controlling them, he is lying about his SMV

If you were on the right track, you'd be a rich, built, dressed, charismatic motherfucker that no plate would feel happy leaving. You'd know to never, never settle for a girl because you are not looking for a cheesy romance anyway. You'd be using your bitches as you see fit, then offloading them to a lame ass boy when she asks for a exclusive relationship.

The guys who fall for these fake good women are the guys who are tired of pretending that they're in control. They're not.

[–]akzunamoon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your comment deserves more attention. Your words are right.

[–]hazaraMoghul2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is story of will smith. Wife got into intanglement lol

[–]arakouzo2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

There's really no such thing as a "Good woman" or a "Bad woman". There is just a woman who is acting good right now, and a woman who is acting bad right now.

Women aren't really a person the way we think about people. They are not defined by their personality or their thoughts on various issues or by their talents and skills. What makes a woman who she is is how she feels about things. Which means how she feels in the moment is who she is right now.

You could actually argue that in this way, women are more true to normal and natural human behavior, at least in a very primal caveman sort of way. If you're hungry, you club something to death and eat it. If you're horny you mate. And so on. Women are in many ways the modern version of this. They act according to their feelings and put on whatever mask they need to put on to stay safe while doing it. And it's all instinct. They don't even think about it. They believe their mask is who they are.

Depending on how a woman feels right now, in this moment, she is capable of anything based on that feeling. Anything. Even the things you were absolutely certain she'd never be capable of doing, she will do, and she will think it is absolutely right that she do it. Including putting a mask on and pretending she doesn't feel the way she's feeling to trick you. That's what gets a lot of guys. A woman who loves you and a woman who hates you and is using you but is pretending to love you can be pretty hard to distinguish to the untrained eye. Especially when the exact same woman really loved you last month but feels different this month.

[–]Endorsed ContributorSKRedPill2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Actually the thing most men struggle to get it is that her love for you at the beginning is just as real as her contempt for you at the end. But that's actually true. Women are really what their feelings are in the moment.

We all like to believe love lasts. Devotion may last - a lifetime of focused dedication to anything can create a state that looks just like love and can even feel that way. But emotional states by their very nature are changing things. Love as an emotional state doesn't last nearly as long as we think it does.

[–]arakouzo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah. Love is just another emotion. And it is no better or worse, and no more important or less important, than any other emotion. You can't be angry forever. You can't be hurt forever. You can't be happy forever. You can't be sad forever. And you can't be in love forever.

I suppose the conventional blue pill end goal is to get a girl trapped, dependent, and comfortable enough that when the love ends, the benefits of keeping you around outweigh the combination of the drawbacks of losing you and the drawbacks of giving up on something new with someone else.

In today's happy pill therapy society, that paragraph above is hard to swallow, but with enough therapist visits and philosophy and meditation and self help books, guys can convince themselves that if they think about things differently, they'll feel differently and somehow this will result in a different reality instead of the same reality underneath their self-induced delusion. We even see some of that crap around here sometimes.

[–]Endorsed ContributorSKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The BP goal is "Happily ever after". Many of us who're red pilled in many other ways still think that finding success means everything is now fine and fixed - in a way we all came here at first to chase the mythical Happily Ever After - the ultimate BP fantasy. We've all seen our own successes, and thought that this was it, only to realize that life is an ever present journey that goes on and on and it's really when you're most successful you're prone to making your biggest (and sometimes basic) mistakes. Life can humble anyone at any time.

[–]drakehfh2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And that's how you become stronger. People here keep suggesting to stay away from LTRs but I think that's a dumb idea. Get into a LTR asap and watch how it fails miserably. Then you become redpilled.

Do this in your early 20s and you will become a winning machine.

[–]DerekMorganBAU3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never in my life have I experienced this.

I've always wondered why some men think the natural response to a bitch pulling back is to double down on doing the shit that's caused her to act that way in the first place.

My natural response is to pull back and just live single.

If she continues to act like a lil bitch or says in a convo "I think we should see other people" just say "Okay" and move on. That easy, that simple. On to the next hoe.

If your bitch starts to play games, then maybe she ain't who you thought she was. Point blank. Though I am the one who usually gets bored, but if your bitch was really the one then she'd make it easy. I know what true love and devotion looks like.

A shame that shit means nothing to me, but it's ironic how not giving a single fuck about either one fosters these traits out of bitches.

Adapt or die.

[–]mangimansa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is happening to me now. Like, right now.

What are some practical things I can do?

[–]1BlondeHornyElf5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

never lose your cool... no matter how hard she's pressing your buttons... use dread game if you're in a position for it, make her a little jealous without being obnoxious about it... constantly be evolving and developing as a man, don't be stagnant and betting your whole life on your relationship with her. she will sense that neediness and it will disgust her, same way it would disgust you if she put on 40 pounds. don't show any weaknesses. let go of your desire to "make love" to her and just fuck her right and make her cum. get happy and confident about life in general regardless of your relationship with her.

[–]ATLTeemo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes it can be married friends. Like for my situation, it was a married female friend who convinced my fiancee that she should go and teach overseas alone because she needs to do all this before she gets married. While the same friend is planning a trip with her husband and kids.

[–]dominicthetiger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there any way of rectifying this shitstorm before it happens (considering the woman actually brings value into your life)? My LTR brings a lot of value at least for me and has made me better if I'm completely honest, that said I don't feel like I'm "in love" as much as attached to her presence. However I am aware that Iam slowly getting complacent so there's the issue.

[–]SupremeGuwop1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this post brother 😭

[–]bjcm58911 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Funny, I wrote a story that deals with this exact theme (from the perspective of a guy on the verge of becoming a high school senior) just a year or two ago. PM me if anybody wants a copy.

[–]LoneWolf15571 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit this is happening to me right now! I barely play other girls anymore out “respect” for her. She’s starting to pull affection away. What do I do??

[–]luguxd5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pull your attention. Stop messaging her. Feel the emptyness while you do it, and understand that you are OK with it. You dont need her.

[–]mangimansa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, it's happening to me right now too. She wants me to lead and be desirable and I'm not leading or being desirable.

[–]epeplubot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This situation happened to me when I was at high school. At first I really don't like her. She is a new student at our school. She was the first who initiated a conversation with me while I am buying in our canteen. She is always sharing everythin to me, her secrets, what she did on weekends etc. When she saw me walking alone going home, she always run to me like a dog and holds my hands everytime while walking with her.

I am clueless, very clueless why she is so good to me. Everytime school ends, she is always asking me to go Mcdonalds with her and everytime I refuse her offer, she still following me everywhere I go.

I started to fall in love with her, I break free and forget my fuck buddys/plate. Things started to shift and I became the dog who is chasing a bone.

Don't ever fall into this kind of girls. Even though they are good/unicorn they are still craving for an alpha male that will hurt their feelings and pussy.

[–]icreid1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been there, done that. After a year it still haunts me. Not the pain of loss of a girl, the pain of Lost dignity.

[–]1BlondeHornyElf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ya it's the pain of choosing to be vulnerable and being humiliated for it

[–]LotBuilder1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems fairly accurate to me. Opening up or showing any weakness is the beginning of the end.

[–]beholdthemaverick1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

An experience I’m sure we all can relate to.

This is one of the most painful things one will ever endure, and also one of the best things that can happen to a man if he uses the lessons learned as fuel to wake the fuck up

[–]professorlongshlong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy motherfucking shit.... literally just happened to me 1 month ago. EVERYTHING you just said came to pass even the ability to make her come at the drop of a hat, at the start of the relationship I couldn’t give a flying SHIT about then she became my world. Then she shattered it. I even got into better shape while in the relationship I was 6ft 220 and cut to 185. Looks like I need to read Emerson’s “art of self reliance” and throw more heavy shit around. Thanks OP completely new perspective.

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the story of my life, ive got 2 plate when i met my oneitis, didnt pay attention to her first, shes a single mom. My plates are both single and young 22 and 25 year old. We all work in the same department.

This girl is trying so hard for my attention, i just dont care for 3 months then suddenly we hang out one night and fuck her immediately, nothing special in bed. After that shes very caring, txting and calling me daily but hey free sex anytime i want to, so i just go along.

After few months i dropped all my plates, giving her gifts, going for a holiday, playing with her son and not realizing im becoming beta day by day, chasing her begging for sex, you all know the story.

Shes pulling away and im lucky if i will receive a call or a txt from her once a day, then i caught her cheating by hacking her phone and when i confront her she wants to leave me. Again i beg her to stay and ive got nothing but coldness. One day she just doesnt want to do anything with me, not even goodbye, just being a cold hard bitch who dont give a fuck about me anymore. For me? Of course I keep chasing until I discovered the red pill.

You heard this story over and over again here. Just the classic beta discovering red pill and realizing what you did wrong and wish to go back. my oneitis never called me anymore for a year now, awalt, light switch, hypergamy, everything is true. Im happy and in a better place right now. Thanks to RP

[–]rawed_steel1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is even the point of a relationship? Its just your turn anyways

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

when you LTR a woman she becomes an investment (time, energy, emotions, money, semen). It's next to impossible to not feel a sense of "ownership."

If it's "just your turn" then you need to keep all women as plates with minimal investment of your non-sexual attention, or attachment is inevitable. Personally, I get bored of a purely sexual relationship with a woman (and so will she, eventually). Power over a woman is the real trip.

[–]RPmatrix1 point2 points  (17 children) | Copy

while you've got the dynamics of the events down pat ... your Hamster is Strong with this one as you TRY to 'blame her' when ALL you are doing, is "projecting your reasoning onto her" in the attempt to 'distance you' from any "fault" in this happening ... lol.

This was Not due to Oneitis, it was due to Idiocy, arrogance And Ignorance of TRP ideology and female behavior! (even though you Quote RP 101 here)

Your relationship was LACKING THE MOST IMPORTANT 'part' in a Real LTR, as you explain perfectly here, but as it's projection, it's arse about, so I'll fix that for you -

Briffault's Law comes into play - your only value is how you're making your woman feel in that moment.

Seemingly overnight she has flicked her mental switch and has re-written you as a Nobody.

The woman and the relationship that you've invested months and years in is gone in the blink of an eye

Because there was NO True Honesty ergo Trust, EVER in your relationship. How do I know?

You told me. Here:

To regain power and your sense of self you may temporarily act on your desires for variety and cheat with other women.

All this does is serve to remind you of how special your Oneitis is. You go back to her, after cheating, feeling even more affection and love.

She is none the wiser

As there is Beta Blue, Gutless YOU Returning to his Oneitis knowing Now, she's #1 BUT

there IS NO HONESTY (being a gutless beta who Cant be honest (becoz scared what the Truth might cause!) to maintain what has always been a "bullshit relationship of convenience" from the start and you're delusional in your beliefs due to your minimal Comprehension of women, likely due to your lack of RP study

Dude, you're tripping believing this is the Truth of the story, and you've got tickets on yourself, you think your pretty good, don't you?

I only wrote this for the other guys, you're a lost cause UNTIL you get your RP knowledge updated and get back into Real Life and Real women! 🙄

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (16 children) | Copy

This is a post about failure and learning from it. Sure, cheating is dishonest but it's also pretty common for a player who's getting unknowingly dragged down into commitment because of attachment/LTR chemicals getting released in his brain. Cheating is a way to axe oneitis and dependency feelings, but it only served to make my ex seem even greater by comparison.

I noted that an LTR can happen without you even realising it because of the feminine magic of the oneitis spell (especially for a guy who's never had oneitis and sniffs at the concept). This is what happened to me. I was attached before I even fully comprehended that I was attached. The woman who is the subject of this story was just another girl, another bang, when she first came into my life. Granted, I knew she was different from the rest when I met her. The concept of oneitis and deep attachment was unknown to me at the time because I'd never experienced it before.

If I ever find a girl like this again then I'll be Master of the Frame and i'll run it the right way. Losing a good woman is the only way to learn. Men learn through pain and loss.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

I noted that an LTR can happen without you even realising it

for you maybe ... imo it's not an LTR until acknowledged by both parties as such and maybe there are some "conditions" re: this LTR being introduced at the time . . . whatever they may be, it depends on the people involved. You should know this.

To say you were "unaware" you had fully fallen in lust with your oneitis IS EXACTLY the kind of "oh I FORGOT to mention ..." aka "lying by Omission" - a Favorite of the girls, but Not suitable for a RP'd man

From start to finish, the OP is hamstering about "how you NEVER even Noticed you were in an LTR"! which we both Know is Bullshit

How fucking UNaware can you be? Wake Up dude and cut the crap

I'll leave it at that

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

You seem a bit triggered. You need to work on your inner game.

RP aware men don't really go looking for LTR's, especially when they are in their prime and have abundance. The right woman comes along and you screen her over time and you accidentally get attached to her. This happens all the time. RP players are very vulnerable to affection and attachment because we spend so much time viewing life as a game of chess, which is cold. Like it or not, we are wired to bond to women and pretty much all guys settle down eventually.

[–]RPmatrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You seem a bit triggered. You need to work on your inner game.

I've been under enormous stress recently, so yes, I might 'seem' a bit triggered but In Fact I'm just over dealing with fuckwits who think their shit don't stink etc and talking to ("advising")some people is like banging your head against the wall, and The best thing about banging your head against a wall, is stopping

RP aware men don't really go looking for LTR's, especially when they are in their prime and have abundance.

dude, are you trying to rewrite the rule book or just add bits like this? Let me share something with you

Real Men Don't NEED to Lie ... that is what what "Frame" is, You!

Your 'frame' is the structure on which your essence is wrapped around, like the "reinforcement" in a building, without which it Would Collapse! Your Frame is the way your Truly Are -- there's no need to Act Any other way than 'how You are', to "just Be yourself" as 'they' say .... BUT, do You really know "who?" 'you' Really are? At your age, I doubt it.

Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm sharing this to give you some 'food for thought', it's not some kind of instruction type post. I'm guessing you're a fairly good looking smart young guy and I'm just giving it to you STRAIGHT dude .... sadly there seem to be few left here who can, who have 'walked the walk and CAN talk the talk" from a Real and True pov

Alas, you barely know yourself and you're trying to tell me about me, someone twice your age and with 10x the 'experience In Real Life' and who's "walked the walk" ... and TPTB have been working hard at "shaping Your behavior" via the media and esp 'social media platforms' like FarceBerk, Twatter, TakkyTok et al PLUS/via the MSM to 'suit Their' need' ... not yours, which you may never find due to 'their' influence

I was only thinking about this as I lay in bed last night, about "*how hard it really is to Be Yourself and how it took me over 40yrs of my Life to Truly become myself and how it was the most unlikely things which caused that.

Plus how lucky I was to be 50/50 pre and post internet, so I avoided leaving a trail of god knows what during my teens and eaerly, manic, 20's!

Bro, Life is not a 'race' with "who has the most toys when they die, WINS" type thing, I constantly need to remind myself I'm not in a race.

I'd made my first millions before I was 30 and I became extremely isolated becoz of it!. Why so? Becoz EVERYONE wanted "a piece of the pie" in one way or another. Even many people I considered 'old friends' changed Bigly when I began to become seriously cashed up.

The ONLY people who I could 'kind of' trust were people with similar or greater incomes . . . of which I knew quite a few BUT I didn't 'like' many of them (48 rules of power/family money type dude/ttes/) who sold Lies ... think Enron type crew - - except a few magnitudes of order lower than that - - but it was the insider trading of the 90's which changed my life significantly,

One thing I know, If you can't be honest with another person, you'll never have a True friend

However, you First MUST BE honest with yourself . . . and that's not even possible If You Do NOT KNOW "who YOU are" ... not who 'the world thinks you are or who You 'think' you are, but who you Really Are, the parts of You that will Never change as they are Truly You. Do you know what they even are?

When I was from 23-24yo up until I got to about 35 to 40yo, y'know what one of my most 'difficult issues' was? That MOST of The people who were my "closest friends" were not particularly 'rich' in the fiscal sense of the word, so, let's say I wanted to go skiing or to a certain restaurant or maybe overseas, or drink some nice wines or whatever -- as they couldn't afford it, I had three choices;

1- not even think about it . . . which just wasn't going to happen, which meant some combination of the bottom two.

2- pay FOR them, have a fucking entourage and begin to question various people's motives

3- Do it alone or with a select few.

This was in the late '80's and 90's after which I moved to a cabin in the rainforest for 12yrs before various shit brought me back to the city in 2005 - part of that 'shit' being the 'lack of variety'! lol I've got a few great mates up there but when the closest on is a 90min drive, it get's 'tricky' - - but you MUST get along with your neighbors and 'lies and disinformation' are the shit that start feuds

y'know the Viking made "gossip" or 'unsubstantiated opinions frivolously told" as punishable by death! Due to the SHIT it could cause! TBH I don't blame them.

So, what happens were you to get into the position I've been in for a long time now. And almost all of my truly good friends these days, live overseas or too far to see physically very often, maybe once a year each, if we''re lucky Also,. Sadly, many of my friends from my youth are either dead or far away, sigh. And talking on the ph's just not quite the same thing, and I'm too paranoid to be totally honest on Zoom etc!

I never wanted kids as at 25 I still felt like a kid, a rich one, but still, I certainly didn't 'feel old'' ... I wanted to "know enough to become 'wise enough' to be able to have 'peace of mind' in any situation.

Very stoic huh?, not that I had a clue about 'stoicism' at the time. Girls came to go and came to go again. Esp as I'd make it clear from the get go I didn't want to 'have kids' ... for various reasons I''d explain to them, but mainly becasue;

I'd never be the kind of father I wanted to be and that would Never Be ok. My best mate when I was 17 had a kid BUT his folks were Loaded and he knew he could rely on them. Me, OTOH, had no parents anymore and The Last thing I wanted/needed was kids to be responsible for. Even when I had money I stayed the same. Now that my peers kids have mainly grown up, half live at home doing their parent's heads in and the other half live away from home and their parents complain that they 'never see them enough' . . . I think I'm doing ok thanks

be warned, be careful what you pray for, you just might get it) I wanted knowledge and 'enough money to do as I pleased' . . . and I got them. During which I discovered the worst thing to happen to one is to "achieve one's goals" and wonder "now what?" ...

Honest makes The World go around bro, many people who have Tried to Lie (OR tried to lie to another person, to 'get Me in trouble') to me have regretted it . . . and I BASE my 'strength' on the Truth. It's impossible to "beat" .😏

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

bro, I'm OG RP ... you Assume much

"triggered"? maybe, by beta wusses like this hamstering Blueboi who have made the OG RedPiller's go elsewhere

you guys think you are writing the book when all you're really doing is regurgitating RP cliches as If you Know what they actually Mean, e.g. Briffault's Law, But you truly haven't got a clue!. Talk about the blind leading the blind

LOL. If the OP understood Briffaults Law Or half of RP101

he wouldn't have written this post and/or he'd be basically content with how things were going with His life, his gf included

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

OG RP is Mystery. Even he got Oneitis.

You're not offering any knowledge. The only thing i'm getting from your posts is that I was dishonest and cheated and that's why my relationship failed. So you're saying the magic sauce to a healthy relationship is honesty? That seems pretty bluepill to me and totally goes against 48 Laws of Power. We live in a Machiavelli world that rewards lies and punishes truth. Any truly redpill guy knows that. Being honest and Mode One communication would be great if it actually worked. It doesn't.

[–]RPmatrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only thing i'm getting from your posts is that I was dishonest and cheated and that's why my relationship failed.

Because THAT'S WHY things went as they did . . . coz when your Frame is strong enough to Be honest about such things, such things just won't happen as she's one happy little pussycat wanting to please you and get her rewards.

When that stops, so does everything else. "Next!" is usually the suggestion here. Your ''LTR" ended Long before you realized it. This chick sums it up perfectly -- It's only 10mins short and you're getting The Word from the Horses mouth.

Ever read 'Michael's Story' (from the sidebar?) This is thee updated version from a younger player who knows what's what. I suggest you listen to her carefully (and stop it at the photo ~6mins that pops up for a frame and read what's written around it) In fact it's this is what you call a Red Pill girl. She knows more about TRP than most guys here!

Watch it and ask yourself "how successfull would I be TRYING to Lie to this girl?" lol

and TRP is no mystery, it's rather scientific and factual, based on a lot of quality research both psychological and philosophical ... it's an "ideology", not a 'degree'

We live in a Machiavelli world that rewards lies and punishes truth.

You truly think so? You must hand with some fucked up people

Any truly redpill guy knows that (RedPill is capitalized)

yeah? Try and convince Sophie about that

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

So you're saying the magic sauce to a healthy relationship is honesty?

Yep

I forgot to emphasize this, let me ask you ... 'do you have any male friends who you consider to be 'good friends' who you know are lying to you about Important matters/issues?'

I didn't think so

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

I don't fuck my male friends.

Woman require dishonesty, evasion, mystery to wetten their pussies.

"Honesty is the best policy" is a Beta Myth that Alphas push onto Betas to stop them from getting laid. It's Male competition sabotage.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

and btw you never replied to my question about the video I linked nor any of the other pertinent ones? That video is a classic and EVERY 'normal guy' would know what she's talking about

Do you think you could Game her? 'old enough'?Age aside ...Seriously, would you do any better in say 5yrs time when she's "grown up"? and knows much more?!

Now imagine/realize that ALL the women you deal with know what this chick's talking about AND use that "hooboo jooga voodoo" on 12yo boys? Coz they do and what's amazing is it takes something like TRP for 'most guys' to figure it out, let alone 'work with it'!

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, the girl in that video is quite impressive. If all women were like her then not many men would be getting laid at all.

A guy like me knows what to do with these types of women.

The best way to "Game" a girl like her (age aside) would be amused mastery and funboy non-compliance. Girl's like this are all about shaming men, and getting them to qualify themselves as "worthy" of her magic pussy. Her major flaw is she is breaking one of the key laws of power - "When you are powerful, feign powerlessness."

Show a girl like this that she has no power over you, with a shit-eating smirk, and watch her chase your validation. Girls like this absolutely must KNOW that their magic pussy works on all men. Once she finds a man that isn't grovelling to serve her, it messes with her ego, then she will fuck him just to prove that he wants her pussy. It's very predictable. Female solipsism is her own worst enemy in the face of aloofness.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey bro, even though I posted this after the other reply today and my opening reply (as I've been too busy to give the post the time it deserves after my initial post, my apologies, I normally wouldn't have begun this conversation had I thought I'd be interrupted, my bad) . . .

One of The Big Issues I see hear is your ability to partially understand an issue and then rationalize (hamster) 'why that's so' ,,

Cheating is a way to axe oneitis and dependency feelings, ((you think?))

but

Oh no, You really should know better .... except (and still) when used (incorrectly) as a 'connecting' word, the word "but" negates ALL that goes before it . . . and when you apply that knowledge to this situation, you answer your own question! (listen closely to HOW OFTEN people say "yes BUT" ="NO" ... your GF esp

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just telling it as I've learned it -- feel free to ask whatever

it only served to make my ex seem even greater by comparison.

can you Now 'see why' the dishonesty = 'weak/no frame'?

The woman who is the subject of this story was just another girl, another bang, when she first came into my life. Granted, I knew she was different from the rest when I met her. The concept of oneitis and deep attachment was unknown to me at the time because I'd never experienced it before.

and NOW you've learned what so many others have learned before you, which = why TRP exists. Sadly there's a hell of a lot to learn from the sidebar ... first just reading it and then 'trying things out' and learning from the 'errors' that come with the 'trials', as you have hopefully done so here 😶 BTW check out how many times you use the word 'but' in this way --and how often your GF 'sneaks it into' the end of her comment, a 'yes,but''

This short video shows you where it when it comes to girls, from a young girl herself, it's pretty funny coming straight from such a young horses mouth ... watch it with an open mind and realize that not only are you "not the first" and most certainly "won't be the last"

If not, TF for things like TRP almost All men would be under "Eve's control", yet many guys will immediately refute TRP's ideas as 'sexist' or some such shit - That's exactly the type of thinking that keeps people AWAY from The Truth. Enjoy the vid, she's very smart and clearly has well off and intelligent parents . . . which she explains in some of her other vids (I'm pretty sure they help to a degree) but it''s The Message that's the VIP part . . . don't let The Messenger "put you off" ... that's a HUGE mistake to make . . . as is lying to a friend 👍

I like what you're trying to understand matey, I wouldn't write all this if I didn't, you're smart and hopefully you will use your mind well ... and from what I can see, so far so good, sure you 'made a mistake'. Great. You'll make a hell of a lot more by the time you're my age! 🙄

Mistakes = learning tools/experiences, SO Learn from them. Knowledge IS power and "leaning from your mistakes" leads to knowledge - - the Biggest Mistake is to Do Nothing and not 'expand yourself' (your Frame) by increasing your knowledge . . . sounds simple but it aint

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I appreciate the insight. You make a good point.

The biggest dichotomy here is guys want to "have their cake and eat it" when it comes to women. We want the stability and comfort of LTR, and the new, strange exciting pussy of being single.

The solution the RedPill has come up with is plating. This is not a solution because you don't get the closeness of intimacy that you get from a committed LTR.

So it's either meaningful relationships, or plating/ONS.

You literally can't have both.

Any LTR worth her salt won't put up with cheating/open relationships. And purely playing the field and ONS does become empty and nihilistic over time.

Guys have to make a decision. LTR (and the accompanying risks) or Freedom and Sex (with the accompanying eventual emptiness).

Men are biologically wired to bond to women, so it takes a unique man who can resist that biology for the long term especially as his T-levels drop as he ages.

[–]RPmatrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the insight. You make a good point.

The biggest dichotomy here is guys want to "have their cake and eat it" when it comes to women. We want the stability and comfort of LTR, and the new, strange exciting pussy of being single.

The solution the RedPill has come up with is plating.

This is where TRP and I have an Issue. I Agree 100% with you. IMHO TRP has become 'outdated' to some degree and requires some 'updating' to get with the times. After all, the book The Game came out in 2005, which is getting kinda long in the tooth as far as 'current standards' are concerned. It was a 'game changer' at the time, but times have changed and you've finally realized what you are after, which is

INTIMACY . . . and True Intimacy cannot 'include' DIS-honesty .... hmmm?

You are the one of the guys I was hoping would evolve from OG TRP . . . and as there's SO much to 'learn and extrapolate from' on the sidebar, it gets kinda confusing. If you'd like my suggestions on what to read from the sidebar, feel free to ask. I don't blame you if you haven't even got through half of it . . . and some of it's quite tricky to get your head around at times ... it depends on many things like your experience at the time of reading e.g. one often discovers 'snippets' that seem to have been overlooked the first time when re-reading something you read 3yrs ago

And the two things you Can Give Away and Never Lose are: What you Know and How you Fee" . . . and if you're smart and feeling great, the world is yours to enjoy 👍

This is not a solution because you don't get the closeness of intimacy that you get from a committed LTR

Yes, notice how often the word 'intimacy' is used in RP literature? Never! Yet it is THE ESSENCE of "all things good" and Is BASED upon Honesty. There Is NO true intimacy without complete honesty. C'est la vie!

It's a topic well worth raising ans seeing what kind of response you get, coz at the end of the day, while 'sex' = maybe 2% of the time of a relationship, there's no limit on how much of that time is "intimate" ... hmmm? I LOVE intimacy and I call the hard ons I get with women I have Big feelings for, I call "affection erections" 😁

[–]modAutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Visit our new off-site forum: Forums.red

Browse our tribes and forums, or create your own today on https://www.trp.red free!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]yzeetrA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this is grade fucking A spot on, well done, very well done.

[–]lefty9290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well written and super relateable. Myself and my two brothers went through this even though we didn’t share much with each other I could see how it devastated them. We all got over it, years ago, but it hits hard and takes a long time the more fragile the ego is

[–]RPDream0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A very familiar true repeating story, AWALT! Thanks for writing this story in a good logical way!

[–]Keith_Valentine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good thread, well written and relatable.

[–]Alex09-090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Truth is hard. Reality is harsh.

I have said this on other subreddits- all women are sociopath/ narcissists to an extent. It’s how they’re conditioned and programmed.

This is only proof.

[–]superman19950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This was 100% what happened to me

[–]CAPIreland0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fantastic write up! Very well put, and for those of us who have made the mistakes before, a very familiar situation put all too well into words.

[–]TeddyMGTOW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very well written and represents a 7 year period of my life.

Are your gonna write Part 2? Finding RP and Return of da Player

[–]aim4460 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My first LTR just ended, and this is just spot on. Thank you for posting. Time to read more And get back in the field

[–]Nomfwic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This perfectly describes what happened in my first redpilled ltr...

It hits home really hard.

I thank this community for giving me the tools to survive the breakup.

Reading this i feel like im slipping back into the anger phase.. Proof there's always some beta deep down inside of you that needs to be killed.

[–]Groundbreaking-Owl940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women eat nice guys for lunch

Watch this video - mario explains the nice guy https://youtu.be/kbPgm2kCEB8

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A bit dramatic. On point though. I like to actively think of what I want other than my girl and push towards those things. She can pull me back. But her efforts are spent to keep me and never to fuck with me.

[–]themechanic4040 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Never been in an exclusive LTR that lasted like this before. But I hope this isn't always true. Fuck... This broke my heart just reading the post

[–]1BlondeHornyElf2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

it's not a scarcity mindset thing either. you can be laying there naked in bed next to an even hotter chick and you'll still be thinking about how much you miss your ex and the relationship you had. can take a long time to forget about her enough to get excited about new girls. a man's love is the real thing.

imo the only way to get over it fully is for years to pass and for your ex to show signs of aging, and then you to realize that the woman you adored and knew completely doesn't even exist anymore.

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true, its been a year since my single mom oneitis leave me and been fucking hotter younger single women now but I still think about her, damn. And yes I still watch our sex videos, ive got tons from my other ex but i dont even know where they are, waiting for the day which I won't bullshit myself anymore and tell myself ive really moved on.

[–]rudybasd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It looks like youve just described "Exactly!" What ive been through the last 3 months. Great one brother! And just let me say that these women lie all the time. They lie to themselves more than they lie to us. They tell you that they need a man who would put them in the top and above all his other options, whether these options were his career or his friends etc... and then when this man enters her life and begins acting just in the same way she imagines her "Dream Boy" she dumps him and she proceeds with her life trying to find the asshole that everything he has and hes going to offer is completely opposite to her "Dream Boy" fake imagination.

[–]supersoup-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good read definitely was my case. Loses only makes us stronger!

[–]dkirkpatr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The big unfortunate happens after you are married. Now you have legal issues to get your freedom.

[–]1319Skew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's eerie how close this sounds to the erosion of my marriage but then I remember that most guys have experience with this. In the end AWALT.

[–]coelholoner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome!!! I have never read so many truths in my fucking life. Great topic!!!!

[–]pizzarulzz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You must be a God , you are speaking of my mind

[–]1meerita0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will never. Never fall again into my blue pill state. I know what drug taste like, so everytime I find a high value woman i just use her for a couple times and move on. I wil never oneitis again in my life.

[–]Jeffspark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This hit me hard. It was on point and aligned with my past experiences. You need periodic reality checks.

[–]i_the_throwaway_860 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Similar to a lot of comments:

My "LTR" and I "officially" separated at the end of last month, but it had actually ended about the third week of July. I had just met her whole family in another state the third week of June. A month later she started getting really bitchy and pulling away. Literally stopped sleeping over. I didn't care. Side chick was there. All of August I saw her like 3 times? She was "busy." (I work FT and am getting a PT MBA, but gentlemen, this woman is busy, you see) The silver lining was that I noticed her tendencies in winter, and have been seeing a side chick since. and you know what? It still hurt when she was over here the last time, and does now. All she said was that she wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship blah blah blah. Like the indian in the commercial, I shed a single tear. Then I told her to leave.

Did I become beta, as we say? When? I don't know. I don't care. I'm meeting another chick that seems game tomorrow night.

[–]luguxd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you should reflect where you started acting beta, so you can learn from it and dont repeat the same story in the future.

[–]rawed_steel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I needed to read this now. I do believe this shit is inevitable, I am a human being with emotions and lot of shit on my mind all day. Cant be a perfect alpha at all times

[–]102117991070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One method to try is get a journal and put your thoughts down right now on how you think, your principles, values and your mental framework right now while you're single and mostly "killing it" as they say.

When you meet a new woman and you feel this bliss, you gotta review the journal to be reminded of who you are and what your mindset was and how diligent you were on uour life purpose. That is what attracted her in the first place.

Emotions are strong even for men. If you don't use your rational brain to keep them in check and remind yourself what is happening, you will be changed and your Armour will crack.

Your "self" continously changes but your set of principles and life framework don't. Maybe as you mature you'll change some but those are the drivers for your life. And you need to be reminded periodically.

[–]theguytheguy10000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

the key is to live in a mental paradigm where this isn't even on your radar.

I.e. you never gave a fuck in the first place

the only way to win is not to play.

[–]ohris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Remember kids. No human deserves the kind of idolization that is oneitis. No one is that important, even if they produce chocolate milk from their breasts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is about as on point as it gets. Well done.

Describes my experience to a T

[–]unknownknowledge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Top quality post buddy, top quality post 👏🏻

[–]AND1rew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've never related to a post more in my life. Totally relatable to my ex, and why I chose a new path, to ensure Oneitis doesn't happen again.

[–]Zech4riah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now the question is: Can one deal with this characteristic of AWALT without getting bitter, angry, lonely or sad?

[–]dkod0660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao I'm actually pissing laughing at how you described my last relationship. But mainstreamers will just call me a sexist and a rightie for believing in TRP. Good post brother

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't completely figured it out yet. I think being aware of the process is the first step.

Here's what inevitably happens in an LTR in my experience: If you are putting all of your sexual energy/time/emotions into 1 woman then you inevitably fall into scarcity mindset and oneitis because all of your horses are attached to one wagon. Once this happens then the woman has all the power because women are naturally abundant and have evolved lightswitch psychology to quickly move on from relationships (see Rollo's War Brides). I don't know how a man can logically stop this from happening unless he genuinely doesn't care about his woman (but then what's the point of an LTR? Just plate her).

You can have your "purpose" outside of a relationship.....but why do men want a "purpose"? To be more attractive to women. "if you want to attract women then you must have a purpose outside of women" - this logic still makes women the purpose.

I think the biggest mistake guys make is that once they "lock down" a girl in a relationship then they stop gaming her and lose frame. They declare victory and put their feet up. They view relationships as static instead of a constantly changing and evolving process that needs constant maintenance and Game. Guys also rely too much on the history they have with a girl and forget about the fact that women live "in the moment" - briffault's law.

The established wisdom appears to be that LTRs are Redpill on Hardmode. I don't think there's any way to have an easy, low investment LTR that's not a plate-style relationship.

[–]EvanPetersDouble0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've recently experienced this. Without the drop my friends and life shit, I just got too deep into my feelings and investment.

[–]tren_hard_eat-clen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is literally the best post i've read here for the past 2 years. Hits so damn close to home. Thank you very much Lord-of-Circles. You described my experience to a tee, especially the ego shattering part.

[–]DirtJellyBeanz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Bro why is this SPOT FUCKING ON? I broke up with my LTR of 3 years in 2017.. I met her when I was at my prime physically and mentally (red pilled) and what you wrote above is exactly what happened.. I actually feel relief that someone can write that out.. honestly insane..

My whole thing is that I’m still kind of not over it, playing the what if game in my head and I think I’m still fucked up from that relationship... I feel like I’m seeing the tunnel at the end but idk man shit is rough lol..

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Best advice I can give you, and it's probably little comfort, is don't play the "what if" Game. You will lose months/years. Your time is too precious.

Face reality as best you can and live with the regret. You can't go back in time and recapture a woman when she was in High-Attraction Love Slave Mode. You'll torture yourself thinking about it.

Even if she came back one day, she will never have the innocence and utter pure adoration she had for you prior to you losing frame. There's baggage now, namely she's lost respect for you and she knows what it feels like to not respect you anymore. She can't un-see it. (I've been there - not worth it. You get a shadow of your former girl).

[–]DirtJellyBeanz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this, but I still can’t believe how you hit that text on the nail.. it’s literally word for word what most of us have gone through lol

[–]allahyardimciol0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

FUUUUUUARK you described my ex 100%. Women are truly egoistical creatures. But I guess you learn. Time to roid and have fun I guess :P

[–]youzabish0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

FUUCKKKKK. I feel like you painted the saddest portrait in my mind.

[–]totalxtc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

God I can so relate to this from my own past relationships. Once you hit that point where you need them in your life as much as they need you there is no going back it's all downhill from that point. The OP mentioned about being blocked when trying to make contact and talk. Imo that is all part of the ruse by the woman. So they can portray themselves as a victim to others "He is harassing me so I had to block him" . And make the man seem like the bad one. They know a guy would rather be told he is this and that directly, rather than being blanked and hearing snippets back from other people about what a twat he is ment to be. To many myself included this would then be a trigger to try make contact another way by different number or by some form of social media to say WTF are you chatting shit about me for. Trust me doing this not a good idea as it gives them even more validation to them being a poor victim when they telling everyone the lengths you have gone to harass them still

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

If you don't control women, they will control you. You can't escape the power game unless you're entirely committed to a life of One Night Stands (and believe me, after you've had 500+ ONS's you will get burn-out). Even maintaining Plates requires basic relationship management (and a risk of you falling into attachment).

Even Mystery got Oneitis and became suicidal.

You've never been on the receiving end of an LTR breakdown or developed feelings for a woman. Until this happens, you'll never be able to relate to it. It also makes you incredibly vulnerable to it (oneitis) because you can't conceive of how dangerous it is.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

How do you control women, then? Cause let's face it. Nowadays it's next to impossible to impose any sort of rule without there eventually being a fallout from the girl (especially if she's got single cat lady cum dumpsters as friends who tell her to live her life). Other than setting boundaries, being willing to walk away and staying on top of your shit, I wouldn't know what "controlling a woman" means

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

You control a woman by making sure that her love and investment in you is much higher than yours in her. As long as she feels this imbalance (and the more imbalanced the better) she will remain a devoted and compliant love slave for life.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dunno about "for life" but the rest I do agree

[–]luguxd2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think thats all you can do. You cant control anyone but yourself.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A neighbor controlled his GF by supplying her with hard drugs.

But when she'd had bad trips she'd beat him and smash his cupboards and rip up his floor tiles.

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Great. Another weak man who couldn’t sustain a woman’s attraction. This shit belongs in your diary.

If women become less attracted the more they get to know you, you’re gonna have a bad time.

[–]luguxd1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What are your tips mr alpha

[–]MrTrizzles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Betas should avoid relationships. Most of them have already figured this out.

[–]spirot-1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy

You aren't supposed to get into an LTR until this cannot possibly happen to you because you are forever jaded and women mean nothing to you, and you live a fulfilling life totally removed from women in general.

[–]Foend0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Sounds abysmal, I mean what is the point in a woman if they have zero emotional effect on you because you are so jaded?

[–]spirot0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

"What is the point in a woman if they have zero emotional effect on you" Exactly. Dude, you know what's actually abysmal? Letting a woman have an emotional effect on you. What the fuck are you doing here? Have you read the sidebar? Do you know anything about where you are?

[–]Foend0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Do you know anything about the red pill or do you often conflate it with MGTOW like you did in the comment I responded to?

[–]spirot0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I didn't say don't have an ltr. Do you know anything about the red pill? I don't give a fuck what you have to say dude, if you are arguing with me on this point then you didn't swallow the pill and you're trying to use RED PILL TACTICS to achieve BLUE PILL GOALS. Which is fucking impossible. You haven't swallowed the pill.

[–]Foend0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

So emotional, hardly the stoic that you claim to be.

Maybe for you the only emotion you have ever known when it comes to women is submissiveness or maybe fear - so you are immediately conflating the word emotion with a knee jerk reaction of "thats beta".

Just lighten up dude, life is not all grey, relationships with women don't need to be emotionless sex transactions. Live a little.

[–]spirot0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm just trying to help you man, I don't give a shit about this. Later

[–]Foend0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Emotional retardation was only ever preached to noobs to get them over the initial hump where they would have feelings for every girl they get with - it was never the end goal.

This stage is supposed to conclude with the end goal being to be able to live in moment and have all the feelings you want without ever becoming attached - this is self actualisation, everything else is prolonged forced depression due to past relationship trauma.

[–]spirot0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That's what Taoists and Buddhists preach, and it's called encapsulation. The stoics teach extirpation, which is what I am talking about. Both are valid paths. https://taoism.yoexpert.com/taoism-general/detachment-in-daoism-buddhism-and-stoicism-1780.html

[–]Foend1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I retract my previous insulting comments and apologise to you.

[–]spirot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I personally have found in all of my experience that extirpation gives better results, and I could go into an essay on why, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you have what works for you, so I don't see any need.

[–]Fulp_Piction-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy

The Good Woman is the most powerful thing a man can experience

Nope. I stopped reading here, I hope you refuted this at some point in the rest of the post.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

she hasn't come into your life yet. Maybe she never will. No one is immune, not even Mystery.

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Maybe, or maybe there's more to life.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Monk Mode isn't for everyone

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You're right, but thats not what I'm saying.

If there was thing people need to learn when they pick up TRP it's that women are the icing on the cake.

If you expect there's some meta-pussy that will blow all the rest of them out of the water you'll rationalise some average woman into your 'good woman', then get pissed off when you realise she's only human. That or some other needy beta shit.

Sorry mate but the premise of pedestalising anyone, something humans tend to do, doesn't fit this place whatsoever.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I got what you're saying too. All I'm suggesting is that when you get into an LTR (which RP says you probably shouldn't) then it's very difficult to avoid attachment because you're investing in a woman (this investment slowly accumulates the longer you're with her). This isn't putting her on a pedestal, it's more a sense of "ownership"- owning your investment. You can still treat her like the child that she is.

The only other solution to LTR is plates, but that's not a perfect solution either because purely sex-based plate relationships do have an expiry date - either you get bored of banging her, or she gets tired of being a plate.

It seems there's 2 paths. Low-attachment sex-based plate relationships while you focus on your "purpose" outside of women. Or LTR managed correctly with emotional investment, while also pursuing a "purpose" outside of the relationship and maintaining boundaries. The issue with LTRs is you naturally develop scarcity unless you're able to cheat without getting caught (you will eventually get caught). Correctly managed LTRs are very satisfying if done right, but it is RP on hardmode.

Personally, I've found purely banging a woman is very easy. Owning a woman's soul is the real challenge.

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Usually these comment chains devolve into shit flinging, so fair play for reacting sensibly. This has gotten pretty long but hopefully there's something of value in it.

On the two paths thing, I think there are infinite paths if your SMV is high enough. You have full control over whether you enter into an arrangement, so why the fuck not have 5 LTRs, or whatever floats your boat? Ask any guy if they'd like to have multiple women in a rotation and they'll say yeah, yet they'll all end up in a socially accepted ordinary marriage, with 2.5 kids and a wife who isn't fat if they're lucky. They assumed anything else was impossible so they never even tried to live the way they really wanted. Make your own rules.

On investment, well yeah but you need to stay realistic. Never stop thinking about the next girl, as Roissy said. Only invest in her if she's worth it, u/whisper has something in the sidebar on this. You're investing, and therefore you're vulnerable but you have to accept that if either of you decides to leave then thats it, in an LTR there's no avoiding getting hurt if you're invested. You just deal with it and move onto whoevers next (Always keep two in the kitty - Roissy again)

On plate expiry dates, so do LTRs. Mate both of us have expiry dates.

Why do you want to own a woman's soul? I know you don't mean that literally, but what do you even get out of that? Don't get me wrong, I've been in that frame of mind before, it's the whole point of this place right? The only problem with it is that now you've put 'owning a woman's soul' on a pedestal, something you don't really have control over.

There's a post on MRP about how guys fantasize about anal and how much of a g they'll be, but all they've done is taken pussy off the pedestal and replaced it with another, stinkier orifice. I'm on mobile so I can't link it, I think it was mentioned in the RPU stuff.

[–]Lord-of-Circles[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Have you read Krauser's post on Deep Conversion? This relates to soul collection and owning a woman's soul. The benefits of this is that she is utterly utterly devoted to you and you essentially have yourself a total Love slave. There's getting a woman "attracted" and then there's "deep conversion." Once you've experienced deep conversion then there's no going back. It's the ultimate power trip and sex is all about power, right?

[–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't read his stuff but I'll check it out, cheers buddy. I try to avoid ego traps but to be honest you're right, as long as you have enough internal validation to handle it.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter