How to stop irrational attraction to the best looking/hottest plate?

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Specialcz3
April 20, 2019
77 upvotes
askTRP

So I have 5 plates. A few of them show lots of green flags for relationships, I get along well with them, and like them. One stands out as a plate I could rationally LTR (well educated, caring, savvy, thoughtful, shows high interest and loyalty).

But I have one plate who is slightly better looking than my other ones, we have insane sexual chemistry in bed, and she can't keep her hands off me. Despite these qualities, she shows no green flags and a few red flags (ignores texts, ghosts, goes out a lot, isn't very smart). I find myself being insanely attracted to her and am tempted to do beta shit like over text with her. It honestly feels like an addiction. I just left from fucking her and can't stop thinking her, which doesn't happen with other plates.

I'm very focused on my self, am rotating all my plates well, and even have a couple of more dates lined up with new prospects. But why do I have this weird case of lizard brain attraction to this plate, and how do I stop it?


Post Information
Title How to stop irrational attraction to the best looking/hottest plate?
Author Specialcz3
Upvotes 77
Comments 46
Date 20 April 2019 06:44 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/233949
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bf9g3g/how_to_stop_irrational_attraction_to_the_best/
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Comments

[–]Splitdiscs94 points95 points  (24 children) | Copy

Maybe the reason you are attracted to her is because she is displaying abundance mentality. It's human nature to want what we can't have, I have had this experience before I took the pill and I did go full beta mode. Of course this didn't work out well. Try to invest less then her and maybe you can regain frame eventually

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (21 children) | Copy

This is what I initially thought as well, but these feelings have been there from the start, where she was the one showing super high interest which slowly tapered off. Maybe it has to do with the fact that she was my first plate after my LTR?

[–]Splitdiscs20 points21 points  (19 children) | Copy

She would've been into you at the start because you were displaying high value, but the more time you spend together the more she realises your "oneitis" for her and the power she has over you, which means you perceive her as higher value than you, and thus her attraction to you falls. That's what I make of it

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (18 children) | Copy

That's the thing, rationally she isnt higher value than me or any of my other plates.

I think the abundance mentality definitely makes it worse. What also drives me nuts is that no matter how much good dick I give her and how enthusiastic she is in person, as soon as she goes home, she pretty much goes ghost, which makes 0 sense to me, since all my other plates are really clingy after I fuck them, and redpill logic states good dick is an easy way to hook chicks.

I told her I was leaving town in two weeks today, and she finally came over after a month. What does this show? The inevitability of being hard next'd made her want to fuck?

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy

She probably has a much better/more badboy alpha chad dick on the side. Im like 99% sure youre not her main dick no matter how good you think you dick her. Chances are she has a dark triad shes really hooked on and you become invisible compared to him although you make a decent side dick when hes not banging her

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (13 children) | Copy

I fucked her for three hours straight, made her cum at least 6 times, made her too sore to walk, and put her to sleep. I give up if she has something better lol

[–]Yvan_btw32 points33 points  (2 children) | Copy

See, this is your problem, you put her on pedestal. You want to please her, make her cum, give her good dick so she will stay. Let me tell you something, she won't stay, you are just another toy in her collection. I've been watching your post history, and you're only talking about this girl, you have bad oneitis and it's messing up with your emotions. Next her hard and save yourself! They're plenty of beautiful girls out there, you'll find another one.

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I think part of the issue is that the sex is insanely good. We're into the same niche kinks and shit just flows so well. I've fucked 11 girls in the last month and none of them come even close to this one.

So just to be clear, if I see oneitis developing with a plate for whatever, the answer is to just next and save myself the trouble?

[–]Yvan_btw16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next time, try those kinky stuff with your other plates. Maybe they'll like it or not. The point here is to have abundance and save yourself from the trouble of a oneitis.

[–]LordLoveRocket0020 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

Fucked her for 3h straight.im in my 30's man and ive have a good bit of experience,but still learn something every day. A lot of girls have told me before they find sex boring after a while if they cant cum, and sometimes fake it so the guy will stop. A few times i couldn't come and kept pounding away, got bored stopped, told her the truth and she was relieved as she was sore and had enough.

Edit at the kids down voting this comment, growth comes from experience, just because your early 20s plate is telling you its great sex, dosent necessarily make it so..

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I'm pretty in tune with what my plates like and normally sex lasts for less than an hour, but there are lots of kinks involved with this one. Even after sex she still couldn't keep her body off me. Like I said, sex is very out of the ordinary with this one

[–]LordLoveRocket000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Mate you always think your in tune until the day your playing way off track. Just my exp. Like i say no Bullshit still learning but have rid enough and had enough ltr in my 30's to know women are full of shite 90% of the time

[–]RuleTheOne-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol at the last comment. So basically women are playing with our egos?

[–]LordLoveRocket002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course they are man.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Fucking a woman for many hours/making her sore is rarely a sign of good dicking, like 99% of the time its rather the opposite but a lot of men make the mistake of thinking the longer you can fuck her/make her sore the better. But yes if you were her best dick shed absolutely be more in to you afterwards, at the very best youre her second and her main chad does shit with her and dominates her in a way youre not even close to reach yet. Dont worry about it though just keep dicking her

[–]LordLoveRocket006 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. All the woman ive dated over 30 that are more forward and open tell me this. if a man can't cum and they cant, their relived when i/they stop instead of boring doggy pounding their pussy into oblivion

[–]clitorophagy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like awful sex to me. Maybe she faked sleep so you would stop

[–]LordLoveRocket002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It does make sense man. Think about it. Unfortunately your a plate to her same as your other 5 plates. Other than the ones you say would make ltr material. Shes likes fucking you and sees you as a fuck. You should be thankful she's not leading you on by texting you and being clingy after sex. Dont over think it. And the others are spot on with the fact you cant have her is making you want her more. Its just your brain working overtime. You said yourself plenty of red flags. So just keep fuckin her on your terms and date someone else.

[–]Splitdiscs3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This girl is in her prime and she knows it, she also sounds like a total alpha and clearly has the means to have a steady supply of top notch dick if you fuck the way you say you do. To her you are just another sex doll unless you are extremely wealthy. Attractive independent women under age 30 have the upper hand in the sexual marketplace.

[–]LordLoveRocket001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find the opposite. The first plate for me after a ltr is just sex and never goes anywhere as i dont want a relationship and just casual sex. And if its shit sex and they expect too much im out of there.

[–]GucciGangBucks3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next time she text you don’t respond. I’d pull back crazy hard. Make her miss you. You’re coming off way to available to me. You’ll ALWAYS be there so she’s not worried.

[–]jackandjill222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's so sad that human nature is structured that way. It causes problems of greed & projection if only people were more rational.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because she ignores you and it seems she's spinning you, not the other way

[–]dark_dragoon1020 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

Steps:

  1. Next her (block on all forms of contact)
  2. Write down the things you liked about her and would want in a plate/fb/ltr.
  3. Write down the things you didn't like about her.
  4. Write down the earliest time and reasons you probably fucked up.
  5. Write down what you did well with her.
  6. Write down what you want to work on next time with another girl of her "caliber" or better
  7. Continue gaming other women.
  8. Revisit the list you made every so often to remind yourself.

Or if you're stupid:

  1. Start texting her more and doing things you "feel" you should do
  2. Try to make her like you more by giving her things you "feel/think" she wants (orgasms, ect.)
  3. Get ghosted completely
  4. Cause yourself psychological trauma that will affect your future relationships

[–]TheQuatum12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Next steps of option 2 are : Hate yourself, go into an emotional spiral and eventually, lose all your plates due to depression

[–]bluefingerblue10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol I’ve been there. Not fun.

[–]oooKenshiooo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ou were displaying high value, but the more time you spend together the more she realises your "oneitis" for her and the power she has over you, which means you perceive her as higher value than you, and thus her attraction to you falls. That's what I make of it

This.

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Have a great plate
  2. Next her

Stupidest shit on trp right here.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

next. problem solved.

you probably cannot though. oneitis.

cure: next.

[–]TheQuatum-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT!

[–]jaw86258 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

what do you mean why do you have a lizard brain attraction? You say she's hot AF and you have great sexual chemistry. Thats an obvious answer.

Its really up to you what you want to do. I would just keep fucking her as long as I could. Don't go beta, I've found that if I act that way with one plate it effects my relationship with all of them negatively.

She probably has someone else she's more interested in on an emotional level. But if the sex is really that good, shell always come back to you if you don't break frame. This has happened to me with numerous plates.

[–]machiavellianlaws5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Turn it around and put yourself on a pedestal. Don’t initiate contact, and have the mindset that she is lucky to get dick from you. If you end up drifting away you still have 5 more plates. With a great job and hobbies I can’t understand how you got time to fuck 11 girls in a month, let alone catch feelings for one of them. Just continue plating girls and focus on your work and hobbies, forget about the oneitis and if she wants dick, give it to her.

[–]BaronIncognito2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not irrational, she’s hot and good in bed. I don’t think you need to next her, just enjoy it for what it is with no strings attached.

[–]HastaPronto902 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Could you write a guide how to manage a 6 figure career (I think more working hours then avarage), 5x gym, 5 plates, new dates, spending weekends on hobbies, friends and family? I am impressed, seriously! Sick time management I guess!

[–]Specialcz3 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Early 20s, I work around 40 hours/week in STEM, spend 2-3 hours at the gym Mon-Fri, have dates lined up from apps after work and/or girls I've met through hobbies on weekends. Not that tough

[–]RuleTheOne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To the part about dating apps, what if we're all spinning the same plate of girls? lol

[–]maljo241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its not irrational. She is the best looking, hottest gal.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just echoing a basic tenet as a reminder: care less than she does. Period. Right?

[–]furcryingoutloud1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Marry the bitch, that'll do it.

[–]Jsieijejeieokkd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis creeping in my friend. Ghost for a while, see what happens.

[–]rnsbrum1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is your lizard brain telling you to put a baby inside of her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell yourself that she is just like the other women, not a snowflake. Also remember AWALT it's just that she happened to look more physically attractive.

[–]cluelessguitarist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dont try to rationalize woman behavior, you wont have a good time.

[–]taketrance0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m in a very similar situation amigo. I’ve got a few plates spinning atm but I’ve found myself hooked on a specific one. Like in your case, everything is great when we’re together but lately she ghosts a lot when she leaves. Communication has decreased a lot lately, after her practically initiating day after day in the beginning. Think I have to admit that she’s sensing I’ve got the hots for her and feels like she’s got the upper hand. We haven’t seen each other for almost 3 weeks now after excuses from her so I’ve basically gone NC, although she still texts out of the blue. Coincidentally, she’s also the type that goes out a lot etc as you said

[–]oooKenshiooo-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m in a very similar situation amigo. I’ve got a few plates spinning atm but I’ve found myself hooked on a specific one. Like in your case, everything is great when we’re together but lately she ghosts a lot when she leaves. Communication has decreased a lot lately, after her practically initiating day after day in the beginning. Think I have to admit that she’s sensing I’ve got the hots for her and feels like she’s got the upper hand. We haven’t seen each other for almost 3 weeks now after excuses from her so I’ve basically gone NC, although she still texts out of the blue. Coincidentally, she’s also the type that goes out a lot etc as you said

She's gone. Move on.

[–]Terdmuffin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's a form of scarcity. If your other 4 plates were hotter than her, do you think you'd still feel this way about her?



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