What Red Pill lesson did you learn the hard way?

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April 20, 2019

Here's something i'm curoius of. Are there any lessons the Red Pill teaches that you had to learn the hard way?

Were you a nice guy that got burned?

Post Information
Title What Red Pill lesson did you learn the hard way?
Author hammerfan12
Upvotes 97
Comments 197
Date 20 April 2019 11:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/235497
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bfir01/what_red_pill_lesson_did_you_learn_the_hard_way/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the red pill

[–]justlafleur180 points181 points  (27 children) | Copy

Missing out on countless easy pussy because I was too scared to make a move.

[–]HotHead12170 points71 points  (2 children) | Copy

I cringe so hard when i remeber girls trowing themselfs at me and me acting like a beta bitch

[–]resnine15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you don't know how, then you don't know how. It's like having a Ducati but never ridden a motorcycle before. Can't expect to get to that point over night. Yeah it sucks but it's a learning process.

[–]HotHead1216 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good example

[–]Boom5hot23 points24 points  (22 children) | Copy

How to stop being scared? Asking for a friend

[–]OracleofFl16 points17 points  (12 children) | Copy

Easy...just don't give a fuck (look up IDGAF attitude and outcome independence). You just have to realize that rejection doesn't change anything. Life is not about maintaining a perfect batting average (baseball analogy for non US redditors), it is about the number of hits you get--regardless of the number of strikeouts.

[–]the13thmonk-1 points0 points  (11 children) | Copy

“Easy just do it” is a shit answer

Start with small steps. Identify if you’re scared of rejection or scared ps something in your childhood

Use tinder to practice talking then just practice talking to women then practice asking them out and getting rejected. Each of those things can be broken into smaller steps.

Don’t punish yourself and become outcome dependent base success on the pre req of doing those things and following through

[–]resnine3 points4 points  (10 children) | Copy

As much as I hate the whole "just do it" lines of advice that really is it. You gotta stop male-hamster-ing and start internalizing/implementing it on your own.

It is a gradual process, just like abundance mentality, prize mentality, outcome independence, and ending covert contracts, once you identity the problem you just gotta start working on it. Once you have the definitions then it's your job/duty to start making it take place within yourself and your life. Portray it in your own way. My DGAF isn't your or the other guys DGAF, but they are similar in their core essence.

I think we have all the answers inside ourselves. Reading just gets the momentum going. RP truths are mostly obvious. Just a lot of guys don't want to put in the work.

[–]the13thmonk1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

I agree with the just do it, but you need to do a few things before you can “just do it”

It’s kind of like building a bridge. You need to understand material science, physics, how to hire the right people, and a million other things.

These are all pieces of a result that you need to understand in order to get that result.

You need to break down building the bridge into actionable items, practice equations for physics, read, so on.

It’s the same way with building yourself. You’re every bit as complex as a bridge. If game correlates here to learning to do math well, you start with simple equations in math and you work up to it. You don’t start on Diffy Q problems and ram your head against them until you figure something out. You start at calc 1 and work up

All I’m saying is for things like overcoming fear, or becoming outcome independent the “just do it” mentality is dumb and likely leads to frustration.

Break it down. Learn small pieces first. Connect the dots. Don’t be angry or upset at yourself ever. It will slow you (Though it is okay to be angry at a situation). Have a feeling that the small things failures and successes are leading to your purpose

I’m also not editing this and most of the above could be said more eloquently. But I think I get across most of my point

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

But you can also Hamster the fuck out of yourself by getting lost in all the details, AND overcomplicating things. Material science, physics, the right people, DiffEQ... yada yada yada… you are overanalyzing, overthinking, overcomplicating things, keep it stupid simple. This is why we are here... I tell you fuckin what. Men who overthink the shit out of the simplest things like DGAF. I can think of some <IQ80's who can implement DGAF perfectly because they have the magical gift of not overthinking, they just do it. Literally knew a dude who got out of prison, dumb af, but was a ladies man. The more you overthink the harder game actually is. This is a truth I came to after some time, the more you overthink this shit the harder it will be for you. I'd wager that the majority of guys are here are overthinkers, overanalzers, this makes Game 100x harder. I don't think people realize how easy this stuff actually is. We make it much more difficult than it has to be.

The forest not the trees...

[–]the13thmonk-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

I didn’t say overthink.

I didn’t say don’t act.

I said break down the problems and act. See the forest and the trees.

Look at PUAs if you want an example, specifically for game. They have guys who are dumb, who will be “approach machines” and just do it. They make up for skill by not having the brain cells for shame.

They approach a ton. They get better quickly.

They eventually hit a wall.

Being in prison has no contradiction with being a ladies man. Lol. Serial killers in jail get love letters all the time. And those in jail tend to be alpha and high in disagreeableness. Traits women find attractive.

I don’t know what you’re basing “most guys that are here are over analyzers” on, other than some perception you have.

I’m also not saying this approach works for everyone.

But i am parroting the strategy successful people talk reference.

You’ll see this pattern time and again, puas, business, personal development etc)

And it works for me.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Many many guys here are overthinkers. You can see it in the way they write, the questions they ask, and what they talk about, analyzing the most minute detail. It's not being in prison, this guy was like that before prison, he didn't think he just DID, that is a key difference from a lot of guys who have difficulty with game. The problem with PUAs and why most of them are really con-artists is they expect everyone else to be able to replicate what they are doing... it doesn't work by a step-by-step it is rather a behavior/mentality, that's why I like trp much better because it focuses on behavior not thinking but people keep trying to twist it into PUA, trp is not PUA. This is a critical difference. Having the habit of overthinking will keep you in thought-loops and constantly wondering if you are doing it right. You thinking of it like a math problem just shows you how bad it actually is. I hope you see that, it is very INTx which is another pattern here. I've been here for a year or so and it is clear to me that people of very similar thinking habits and personalities come here. This is a self-filtering process.

[–]Montrealquantum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice way of summing up this sub lol

[–]the13thmonk-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Overthinking isn’t what I was recommending. Again.

I said being in prison doesn’t matter either way.

Pua isn’t trp. They actually conflict. My example is still relevant.

Thinking isn’t overthinking.

Fairly certain I recognize your username from some other post where you were giving shitty advice.

Focus on yourself first. Change your voice and posture for example (in another post you said people often think you’re gay).

Make actual progress.

Then give practical advice from experience.

[–]omega_dawg939 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

i've never understood this.

she's a girl... she's human... she is probably more nervous than you bc she KNOWS she's the weaker (physically) sex.

if i called your mom a 'bitch,' slapped your grandpaw across the head, and grabbed your sister by the pussy, you'd want to fight me... and you'll wrestle an alligator, hunt hogs, bungee jump, sky dive & swim with sharks. in short, you'll risk your LIFE for things you might enjoy.

... but see that lil cute blond with the nice rack over there ------>


[–]lifeisweirdasfuck5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It does not make sense even more when you've been lifting for years and you actually intimidate women.

Yet in your head you fear them.

That's even more brutal.

If there's one thing you must remember it is :

Women's bitchiness is just a facade. Women's frame is naturally weak. It crumbles sooner or later. They fake it.

Imagine a girl wanting to fight you. You lift twice or thrice her weight in the gym, just imagine how much physical damage you could to her if you wanted to.

Be rational, guys.

What the fuck could happen?

We fear rejection because of our ego, nothing more. The ego is what stops us.

Edit: And there is of course the evolutionary theory about tribes where rejection was considered brutal to your offspring. But in today's world, why would this fear be still valid?

Getting rejected from 1, 10, 100 women does not mean your life ends. There are still 2 billion (Yes, Print that number in your fucking head and visualize from the top all those women) more women who you could approach and screen. This is the thing most guys (me included) must internalize.

Not realising all this is foolish and will make you waste your life away, living shackled by imaginary chains you created in your head.

[–]omega_dawg939 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

black girls FAKE anger... they're not really that mad.

white girls FAKE fear... they're not really afraid.

asian girls FAKE being timid... they're really not that shy & submissive.

latin girls FAKE being loud & rude... they're really soft.

girls don't FIGHT with their hands and muscles... they fight with their mouths and brains. any initial reaction i get from a woman is gauged with... "why is this woman so passionately expressing herself (anger, fear, etc.) to a stranger who she just met?"

most of the time, a smirk, a step back, a laugh, or just walking-off will KILL their little fake emotionally-charged shit test.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Actually probably part of the fear for sure comes from said brother/bf/orbiter/amogger will try to rough me up if I approach her. I know it's an irrational fear, but fear of the amogger mostly as well as crushing rejection.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

if she's alone, and if a guy approaches, another guy should understand.

if she's with a guy and a guy approaches, that's disrespectful and warrants some level of confrontation.

but for some guy to be hovering around a girl... trying to impress her by wanting to fight other guys that approach her... well, he's just looking for trouble. and she's just looking for the attention.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

THEY ARE ALMOST NEVER ALONE! I've been out and about looking for women to approach. They are either with family, bf, friends, or in a hurry glued to their phones. They make it difficult to approach them.

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

the right approach + attraction = she will put the phone down/away.

other than that, give a clue you're interested and move along to the next woman... don't get caught-up on just one when you're fishing.

you catch what bites your bait... the rest can go hungry. fuck em.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's the right approach?

Are you saying if they give an IOI from afar?

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Internalize alpha behaviors like IDGAF, Prize, Abundance mentalities, as well as outcome independence.

Right now you are jut tryng to figure out what's going on, stop thinking, internalize those behaviors, and your beta problems will go away.

[–]its-mystery2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Should you still pursue easy pussy if it comes with, you know, strings?

[–]scanfan2022133 points134 points  (7 children) | Copy

Don't reward bad behavior.

What you permit, you promote.

[–]Totsean13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Golden rule

[–]Pokeylaw3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Trying to teach that to my friend right now, he's mad at me but he'll get over it

[–]vileoat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Look at this dude. He'll learn never to speak about fight club soon

[–]Pokeylaw2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm in college and he thinks friends are never suppose to call you out on bullshit. I did and told him I don't want a apology just dont have it happen again and left. Now's he's mad like I said he'll get over it or he won't. Not gonna bother me only one he's hurting is himself.

[–]vileoat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Send like I misunderstood your provious comment. Then it's good for you.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn good point.

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]RisingUpAgain133 points134 points  (19 children) | Copy

Why did this girl that I used to have such good sex with stop wanting to have sex with me?

Turns out cause I was being a faggot.

[–]Shieldless_One19 points20 points  (15 children) | Copy

Is there any examples of the behavior you exhibited to make you think you were being a faggot? Just curious for its educational value.

[–]RisingUpAgain104 points105 points  (13 children) | Copy

Caring too much, trying too much to please her, not focusing on my own happiness and map, not owning my shit, being too emotional, opening up too much, not confiding enough in my male friends as an alternative, not working out hard enough, spending too much energy complaining and being negative, arguing, DEERING, trying to explain myself, always needing to prove I was right, not resetting every day, feeling bad for myself, and not taking enough action while talking too much.

Ya know, being a faggot.

[–]Kyomeii15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, did the same. That's what caused me to before I swallowed the pill.

[–]jamesbond81814 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

What do you mean by resetting, friend?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wipe the slate clean each morning with an LTR or FWB. She was being a giant cunt, or you were fighting for some dumbass reason? Hard no on initiation? Kids screaming all night and left you both frazzled?

Nbd, kiss her forehead when you wake up and go about the day like nothing happened.

[–]jamesbond81810 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you! One more thing, what’s nbd? Haha

[–]TheHyperHuman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"No big deal".

[–]ReformSociety-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Google works wonders.

[–]Gh0110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes please do explain I’m curious as well

[–]Morpheus_TNTB3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

...or this.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is the problem for countless countless COUNTLESS guys. They put her happiness over his. It's a bad habit, and a hard one to break with BP/MSM media only reinforcing guys to do that.

[–]RisingUpAgain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, still waking up to being a man and doing what the fuck I want

[–]Eagle20_Fox21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wait. So what are two people suppose to talk about, the weather?

[–]Pristine_Sheepherder0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck, this is 100% me and my last relationship of 8 years collapsed because I was behaving like this..

[–]RisingUpAgain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re welcome. Get to work faggot.

[–]Morpheus_TNTB-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He was letting his girl take his ass with a strap on. Complete faggotry!

[–]Monkitail0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Then stop being a faggot you fucking faggot

[–]RisingUpAgain0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Day at a time brother

[–]Monkitail0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]spectacledcrusader43 points44 points  (0 children) | Copy

The whole "I'm just not ready for a relationship, yet" only applies to YOU. This goes hand in hand with "Listen to her actions, not her words".

[–]Pete_Worst47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guys that are more bold and confident will get the girl over me even if I’m better looking. It’s humbling seeing a guy I considered beneath me hook up with a chick I was too scared to make a move on.

[–]BaronIncognito11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

A thousand times this. Looks matter, but only to a certain extent. Looks are kind of like your resume, it can get you an interview but in most cases it won’t get you the job just by itself.

[–]JustSayM89 points90 points  (9 children) | Copy

Had to go with a holy, fully veiled, muslim woman to realize All Women Are Like That. You know when she accidentally sucked someone else's dick.. Twice.

[–]jbpostv15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]willso863 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I feel like you should probably tell us more of this story cos ......holy fuck!

[–]JustSayM12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Crazy story, she ended up carving my intials into her skin to get me back, fucked up shit. A lot of beta moments but more importantly lessons. I'll make a long post about it soon, the most important lesson is that men will say AWALT but slyly perhaps unconsciously hold hope that if they can just find a girl with enough values, culture or religion.. Maybe if they can just be alpha enough she will be their unicorn, I don't believe it.

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Still waiting for the detailed post

[–]volvostupidshit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

How can you blame her? She was wearing a veil and could not see the dick in front of her.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I was gonna go with AWALT but your story is better

[–]stat1490158 points159 points  (53 children) | Copy

Opening up about feelings does no good. Even if she loves you. EDIT: Expanding.... I had a great GF. Loved me a ton. After a few months kept saying how I was so closed off, her friends told her crying was attractive, etc. Finally after 2 years she was with my family and extended family for Christmas. My grandparents are getting older and I love them very much. Sometimes they make comments about themselves aging and I think they are sometimes lonely. I went into the bathroom and balled my eyes out for about 15 minutes. I later told her.... and it was so obvious it turned her off. It’s like she didn’t want to be turned off, but it did. She didn’t like it even though she thought she wanted to like it.

Men need to be a rock. Even if she THINKS she doesn’t always want that.... she does at a lizard brain level

[–]resnine46 points47 points  (45 children) | Copy

Damn then who do you tell your feelings to, yourself? your dog? just bottling them up is not good.

[–]Mr_Flim_Flam112 points113 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s why we have male friends.

[–]stat149069 points70 points  (17 children) | Copy

Very close male friends.

[–]resnine15 points16 points  (16 children) | Copy

If you don't got any tho?

[–]stat149057 points58 points  (15 children) | Copy

I highly recommend finding some. I care about my close male friends 10x than any female. Or get a dog

[–]SOLODOLOGUY18 points19 points  (14 children) | Copy

How do I find close male friends? I’m 24 and lonely. All my male friends moved on in life and we eventually stopped talking. It really sucks.

[–]stat149022 points23 points  (10 children) | Copy

Meetups, gym, etc. I know it’s tough after school. Wish I had a better answer.

[–]FanaticMind5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

Yeah but male friends test you too if you lose. Frame. (most)

[–]Nfuckedmeup5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Not really if they are your true friends. There is also a time and a place to talk this kind of shit. Usually for me and my friends it's late nights when we are a bit drunk since it's hard for all of us to talk about our feelings.

[–]resnine-5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

true friends are like true love, it doesn't exist, they will betray you. AMALT.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, everyone tests your strength. Basically came to the realization that everyone is trying to fuck with you, not maliciously but for fun/entertainment. That's why your reaction is paramount. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

[–]ReformSociety0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So, you're saying we shouldn't put an effort to find male friends because they...

test you too if you lose. Frame. (most)


[–]FanaticMind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did I say that?

[–]VSelf4713 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get some hobbies. Invite friend for drinks. Develope a bond.

[–]ReformSociety0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop pouting and do something about it.

Get into hobbies, join a martial arts class, have a 5-6pm "social hour" where you start talking to random people.

[–]friendandadvisor14 points15 points  (6 children) | Copy

just bottling them up is not good.

Perhaps yes, perhaps no. WTF do we need to tell our feelings to anybody? In my case, it serves no purpose. The 'friends' that I have don't give a shit. Women don't really care. My family wants to tell me their feelings. I've found that people don't need to know my feelings.

Seek input from the bros in a situation, but, hold off on the 'feels' shit.

[–]ac7149 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

My theory is that people who need to 'talk' about their feelings don't express them enough at the time they are created. If something upsets or impresses you that is the time to deal with the situation. If you don't, then it becomes 'feelings' you have to discuss with others to sort out your system.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, some says Po-tay-to, some says Po-tah-to.

More to my point, I am mostly using my own experiences, of course, since my friends don't talk about their feelings. Oh, they may cackle about their wives' spending, or dipshit kids, but, that's not really in-depth, beyond general pissing and moaning. They are less inclined to talk than I am.

Further I wonder if there is a link between their reticence and success in life...they're certainly better off than I, and I see where I depended on them to the point of burdening them, expecting them to listen to my 'feelings'. I have been always a 'heart on my sleeve' kind of dipshit in my youth, and, it's only been the last few years that I've learned to keep my problems to myself-it's a form of "owning my own shit' kind of thing.

At any rate, the more I keep my trap shut, the better my situation generally is. And, let's be real...if Mom or Wife or Favorite Dog is dying, besties can't do a fucking thing to help. What they do in these times may show their worth, but, it doesn't help me one blamed bit.

Best wishes.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If something upsets or impresses you that is the time to deal with the situation.

Good point.

[–]RedHoodhandles-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's all well and good but if I would be expressing my feelings enough at the time they are created, I'd be long in jail already. Or dead.

[–]ac7143 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Talk to a therapist, not a girlfriend if that's what you're feeling.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah some point REALLY cross the line, to the point where you want to punch them hard af, but you can't cause laws.

[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Talk to yourself

[–]resnine9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Pressure cooker man... You gotta talk to someone.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I think that that's the biggest lie since the Disney Love Lie.

If you're a pressure cooker, Lift, exercise, Tai Chi, study, go out and slay pussy.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Those help, but do you not understand humans are social creatures? You can't just do activities and expect yourself to be all better now. It's why solitary confinement breaks even the hardest criminals.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's why solitary confinement breaks even the hardest criminals.

Going out and getting laid, having friends, etc... is NOT solitary confinement. Just because I think one should not spill one's guts like a common drab doesn't mean that they are to be locked into solitary.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not saying spill one's guts.. but you're not going to convince me that talking about your problems/emotions is not a good thing. It's a bad idea to talk to your SO about this. But not talking is why people go nuts, because they don't express this shit and just repress all their thoughts/feelings/emotions.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Parents, friends don't care about you

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to being a man. No one wants to hear this shit. You're lucky if your guy mates give a quarter of a fuck.

[–]ReasonablyGoodMexica0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I find two alternatives very viable: close male friends and therapist. You can also add a few close girl friends if you have these, they are just riskier. You know, the kind of girl friends you would still be friends with if they had a dick.

[–]bottled_butts-3 points-2 points  (8 children) | Copy

All these people saying “tell your male friends“ are wrong. Unfortunately friends are future enemies/competitors and will take that information and use it to hurt you.

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

who hurt you? lmfao wtf.

[–]bottled_butts-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don’t tell a friend you are physically injured and are at a disadvantage. They will use it against you...

[–]reddit309 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

how and why? give an example. im intrigued.

[–]_the_shape_7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think he means that revealing some sort of a disadvantage will inadvertently turn into a card he can (not necessarily will) use against you.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, I can't trust even my closest friends

[–]QuintonRammedMyPage6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the truest thing ever

[–]friendandadvisor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went into the bathroom and balled my eyes out for about 15 minutes. I later told her.... and it was so obvious it turned her off.

I wonder if it was the crying, or the need to tell her about it that did it.

[–]l0vewins3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, this happened to me to countless times. Long story short, recently I opened up to a gf about me finding out recently that my two male role models, my dad and my uncle, both got hit with cancer. She randomly asks how they were doing about a month after telling her and it caught me by surprise and got me choked up..

Her actions following that day was immediately cold and distant and stopped hitting me up all the time. Figured I fucked up and just treating her as a plate that I see every few months, if that.

I'm learning to confide in my brothers, dad, mom, and sister. Having a dog is dope too.. that's all I can really trust at this time though. Lesson learned..again

[–]Nfuckedmeup4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've learned this the hard way many times. "It's sexy for a man to cry and show his emotions". No it's fucking not. Like you said, even if she thinks that it's ok for men to be vulnerable her inner instincts turn her off. That's why I have real male friends.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

actions > words. Female lies.

[–]jaw86251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find that once they are in love with you its very effective to actually occasionally throw them a tiny peek inside. Something that really bothers you. But don't harp. Move on. Really gets them going

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Big gold nugget!, STAY ICY!!!

[–]EramSumEro66 points67 points  (1 child) | Copy

"She's not yours, it's just your turn"

My ex had a long history of moving around the country bouncing through life between boyfriends before she met me. I thought I'd be the guy to save her (lol). After we moved in together the dynamic changed, and before I knew it she was already moving along.

[–]Lifeblows969164 points65 points  (3 children) | Copy

Dont stick your dick in crazy.

Seriously, 3 year total relationship, 2 of which was married, to a severe BPD. She totally wrecked me. Emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and financially. She also cost me a career.


[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Psycho/sociopaths are sneaky, they stay with you just to slowly fuck you up. They can't feel emotions or have relationships, they fake everything. They just want sex and money. They're also compulsive liars. Lol I just realized women in general have a lot of psycho traits

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will also constantly cuck you.

[–]tiredweaboo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been there. I see lots of guys come here after getting wrecked by a BPD.

[–]WeddingCrasher9128 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Watch her actions and not her words. Not just women, but people in general.

[–]willso860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

100% this

[–]_the_shape_22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

When a plate breaks, let it.

Move on and forget trying to glue it together in a desperate attempt to resemble something it once was (but never will be ever again).

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Deserved silver. Like it

[–]_the_shape_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you man. It was failing to follow that advice that brought me to this subreddit, funny enough.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (5 children) | Copy

That you need to hold frame and not show signs of weakness. Even if she says that she wants an emotional man, don't. Watch what they do not what they say.

[–]TheStumblingWolf8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think they want a man who is able to be emotional but leads his life in a way it's not necessary. The so called rock they can cling to.

[–]MPTBA-KPABA 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

This, I never had problem telling her what problems are on my mind but it always end up with me telling her solution to the problem.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's key. They hate a defeatist or a man who can't actually solve his problems. A hopeless man. However, a man that has problem and is actively working to solving those problems, that's sexy af to them.

[–]OracleofFl-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

They say they want a man who can be emotional, but they are attracted to a man that is not. Since we don't listen to what they say and just watch their actions, do you want to be the man they say they want to, or the man they show us they are attracted to?

[–]TheStumblingWolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I never talked about what they said. I was referring to what my experiences so far have indicated to me.

[–]OneYearTransform19 points20 points  (11 children) | Copy

Went overseas this past spring break. Last day I was there I was playing pool in a hostel with a girl. We were having an amazing time, drinking, beating every one of our opponents, even teasing each other in a playful manner. The last people we play with are these two absolute studs. I didn’t show it but I was jealous of their physique and looks. At the end of the night, the girl stayed with the two guys and I went back to my hostel, alone.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Damn, I feel for you dude. We've all been in similar situations. Hurt don't it?

[–]OneYearTransform3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah it’s a big motivator now. I’m still trying to learn TRP because I used to be such a fucking pushover nice guy.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Being intimidated just confirmed in her that those dudes are better. I hate to say this but if you felt intimidated by them, it probably showed in your body language/tone of voice etc. Ykno how women are, they are super preceptive. When she saw that you were intimidated by them, it prolly made her wet for those hulks.

[–]OneYearTransform0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nah I was pretty good at concealing it. Tbh the girl and I did make out and have heavy petting sessions at the club we went to (after playing pool, we went to the club with those guys). I wanted to take her to the hostel but she wanted to stay out more with those guys. In the end idk if she went home with them or not. All I know is she didn’t come with me.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hate to say it but YOU think you were good at concealing it. I thought I had a good poker-face too... then someone told me how obvious I was. We like to think the best of ourselves, humans are ego-centric and have a positivity bias, we often believe the best. Those hulks prolly dp'd her.

[–]Aymane2210 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

How big and tall were these dudes

[–]OneYearTransform0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

5’10, 5’11 maybe? I was taller than both but I had a good 30-40 pounds on them.

[–]Aymane2211 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh ok so they were lean like 170 and you were overweight?

[–]OneYearTransform0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Aymane2211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheers to a new you mate

[–]oOMoltenSkyOo33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shit tests. No wonder my first "relationship" lasted only five weeks. But got me to TRP so I am thankful for it!

[–]noosllewteg4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lucky you lol

[–]SlyAM15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't go digging through the garbage, you can get sick.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

And all your neighbors see ya doing it.

[–]The_Peoples_Asshole16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

The lesson I learned the hard way was rule #1 of Fight Club: Don’t talk about Fight Club.

You can’t ‘Red Pill’ everyone. When I began to understand the pill back in 2014, I wanted to tell every guy. I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops. Not every guy is ready to be unplugged. Lost a good friend who called me a woman hater. Funny thing now, he’s going through a divorce. She’s cleaning his ass OUT!!

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women like to talk, don't trust them. Be nice with her friends and pets

[–]WIA20XX13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had a Serbian uber driver tell me this one.

As soon as you find out the girl is bad, leave.

I wish they had uber ten years ago.

[–]Verstappen336311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Opening up way too quickly. Made me realise a thing about red flags and how important they are.

[–]FPLWizard10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never shit where you fucking sleep

[–]its-mystery0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Please elaborate. I think i am going through something where this can apply.

[–]FPLWizard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I slept with my uni housemate (a couple hundred times), turns out she’s a psycho BPD case with an abusive ex, I’m an extreme example. I decided that considering I’d already slept with her I may as well make the most out of a bad situation.

[–]fuckrbrasilmods11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Be honest with yourself about which girls you really do find attractive. Otherwise you'll self-sabotage and blue-pill yourself. Don't mistake a woman being conventionally pretty for being attractive to you personally and follow your instincts. Being alone is better than being miserable in a relationship.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh that's a solid point right there buddy.

Many-a-girls I told were Pretty, Sexy, even Gorgegous and they were below average. I'm not happy about it now, but I was bp beyond belief.

[–]fuckrbrasilmods2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. YOU, not your buddies, not society, get to define who you find attractive. That works both ways: if she's a butterface but arouses you, go for her rather than the conventional beauty.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

ya got that right

[–]bf1bro18 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, unless you can offer more resources than her current guy you ain't shit.

I've had a few girls lightly and then moderately pursue me and when I eventually drop the info that I am still at home and studying full time they hit the road jack and never come back.

The older I get the more I feel that those type of women aren't worth my time anyway. We are the prize is what I remind myself of and yet sometimes I feel shitty I still know I am worth more in the long run, especially when them hoes hit the wall lol.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"and don't cha come back no mo no mo no mo no mo..."

[–]growingstronk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s definitely painful to pursue a career that only pays off way later in life (for me it’s medicine). It’s definitely hard to watch, but with frame and lifting you can definitely smash passable women. I guess that’s enough, for now...

[–]TopOccasion299 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy


Yes AMALT. When it comes to money and pussy...Your male friends will betray you and fuck you over no matter how close you are.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy


[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]PandaLitter 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What does the h stand for

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]2319Skew7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hypergamy doesn't care about all of the things you were and did. Learned that in my divorce.

[–]Nov516057 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not checking shit tests and putting her in her place when she was being a cunt

[–]tony88324 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Frame is everything. Did not walk through life holding a masculine frame. For the simple fact I did not know what it was or meant. When I was accidentally walking in a “frame” . There was a huge difference in the way people viewed me. I look back and I can see how I lost out on some women or held some relationships together .

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Without understanding frame, and in particular masculine frame I think most men by default will be holding a feminine frame. Because it's a maturity thing, like male children hold female frames. Without a father or strong male role models your frame will stay feminine.

This is compounded when you are raised by a single mom and reinforced by BP/MSM.

[–]SemperPrimus18 points19 points  (11 children) | Copy

AWALT. Good girls are a myth

[–]hammerfan12[S] 9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

I kinda disagree, they exist. They're just very low smv.

[–]OracleofFl6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

IMHO: They just haven't shown their AWALT behavior yet, or haven't had the opportunity to.

[–]jerrymcguiver2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

My wife is a 1, 2 with makeup but she doesn't like to wear any. I'd agree that she is a good girl but only due to not being able to replace me. She knows that i was mr saveaho trying to save her smv. I also feel she would branch swing at any moment if the chance arose so awalt even good girls.

[–]bruiser1825 points26 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why are you married to a 1

[–]resnine4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

The real question right here. I don't think he knows what a 1 looks like...

[–]bruiser186 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

I mean being married is one thing, but being married to a 1...

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Probably obese and a foot head, thinkin a honeybooboo

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Actually it's morbidly obese. Lots of freckles, lots of freckles. Finally a tomboy, not quite butch dike territory but close. The idea of embracing her feminine qualities is a waste of time in her eyes.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Godamn man wtf... why would you marry that?

[–]jerrymcguiver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First woman to touch my dick. Captain saveaho to the rescue to fix her problems.

[–]Solic18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

girl who was really into me i would say 9/10. She's russian 19 year old fresh college girl. She agreed to go hang out with me. Used to text me to save seat for her, followed me around during lunch time. I would intentionally make inappropriate comments about how silly indian musicals are right next to group of indian males. I could see in her face she loved it eventhough shed be like "stopp noo ahahha". We went out. I opened myself too much. She now knows i am 24 years old never went to college before and we are both in same year. She now knows i dont have car and cant provide any sort of high value to her. She nexted me quick and now dating some guy who can provide her with whatever she needs. So the advice i would give to you would be to Get your shit together, earn decent salary, be social, be sharp. dont appear weak in anyway physically mentally EVER. Lift. Dress good behave well, be gentle, be nice, but learn to know when you can act like a total douche in right circumstances and get away with it. Read 12 rules of life by jordan peterson, read No more mr nice guy from Robert. A glover and read "Cant Hurt me" from David Goggins. Drink water stay hydrated, if you are horny and desperate masturbate to your imagination. Ditch porn its pointless

[–]Magnum9947 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didn’t reject you because you don’t have a car, she rejected you because you’re insecure about it. That or she saw you as provider from the start if at all. From what it looks like she just needed you as a shoulder to cry on. It is one thing being a deadbeat loser, completely another feeling unworthy because you don’t have this or that, you’re not grounded in your reality, but compare yourself to wat others have and you do that unconsciously.

cant provide any sort of high value to her

The worst mindset you can have. With such thoughts, it’s harder to go past orbiter status with any girl...

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Did you two just start college together? Freshman class?

One thing I've noticed is they are scheming without giving away a clue to their scheming.

What I mean is, they act like your best friend, like it's okay to not having your own place or car or money... it'ss okay honey, you don't need a car, house, or money, I still love you ... all lies... then they dump you in a week.

They are acting/pretending that it's okay to tell them anything and they will still love you, it's all one big lie. They are scheming, pretending, acting so that you will tell them the truth. Because think of it, what the best way to get information out of a guy (something they love to get)? Pretending/acting like it wouldn't bother them if you were poor/loser. That's how you get truth about a guy.

Sometimes I wonder how much of their personalities are actually an act/pretending/manipulation to extract/obtain information about you.

It's like a thorough investigation. They put on an act to hack your personality and get all the real information.

[–]Solic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

i agree, i do feel like girls do that sort of thing to gain information and put us in categories and choose the best option to go with. Unlike us males, average girls much more choice in choosing someone than us and more attractive they are more choices they get and they for sure now how to manipulate it

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That whole "be open about your feelings" is straight up beta-bait. I'm not even sure if they are aware of it, they just do it naturally. Like that whole thing with shit-test, it's all biologically hard-wired. They've developed tools over thousands of years to extract information about your "fitness", either tests to determine if you are a weak male or strong male. They got to get that REAL information somehow out of you so they act/pretend/manipulate it out of you.

And yes the average girls, and even below average girl have WAY more options/attention than even your 20% Alpha Chad. Because guys are stupid and don't guard their attention or know their own value, they just throw themselves at these girls, so of course girls get pickier. It's like people trying to push Honda Civics, while you also got people trying to push Ferraris you stop caring about Honda Civics, because your options are boundless. Even Chad would still give a HB5 or HB4 a fuck, but that doesn't happen with a Stacey.

[–]patacsiipse13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

That girls also fart

[–]resnine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And they are dirty, sometimes dirtier than men.

[–]FanaticMind0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably means that you are breaking frame near her, I take that as a sign of disrespect and they won't do that if they care about keeping the individual.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

That even if you get the blue pill, you don’t actually want the blue pill

Or it gets old rather.

[–]JulesReves3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could have had so much pussy in high school, being tall and handsome. Was a virgin the whole way through high school because i was shy like a scared little bitch and had issues. After dedicating myself to self improvement and having swallowed the red pill i can now say that i live up to my own standards.

[–]muddynips4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

All women shit test. No matter how genial or unassuming, and no matter the nature of your relationship.

Whether it’s your friends wife, an ex, club thot, w/e. They live to shit test.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

the incredible ability for women to lie about anything, from big issues you can understand why they'd cover up or totally inconsequential things. this goes along with the most painful realization - that the sense of honour and integrity is a mostly male trait.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

All of them.

[–]RedHoodhandles2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sluts gonna slut.

[–]desistrategist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

red pill gave me the power to absolve/control the mindfucks of a relationship

For the past two years I have been so happy since i became aware of it

[–]Intentional692 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being nice failed me for years, I couldn't understand for the life of me why it didn't work with women because I was so ignorant and thought that's what you're supposed to do. I had to learn game on hard mode

[–]elf_knife_love2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm surprised nobody mentioned it yet, but, LIFT.

Like, honestly, I don't mean it as a joke or a meme.

Lifting is the most fucking amazing thing a man which is otherwise not doing hard physical work can do.

I religiously weight train for 15-30 minutes every day and the "hard" part was noticing how shit my days were when I didn't do it and how much my life improved when I started doing it.

Past me did a lot of stupid shit, but if I could go back and change my mind on those decisions, or go back and force myself to start weight training at 17, I would chose the lifting.

[–]jaw86251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Houston2NYC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They always lie. She is definitely sucking Chad’s dick.

[–]TheHyperHuman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trust your gut.

Also, learned how to recognize and deal with a BPD. Lucky me, huh.

[–]tony88320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed . Beta’s taught by Beta’s.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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