Had very few friends my entire life, and noticed that all the friends I did have were just weird/social outcast types. I want quality people in my life now but I don't want to be supplicating/pandering to what others like, because no one likes a faker/kiss-ass. In the past I was used by the "friends" I had, and would pay for everything, drinks/gas and all that, it was terrible the only reason they were around me was to use me for my money. But then everyone else never seemed to have to be used by anyone? people just wanted to be around them, just cause? This is what I want to understand, why do people just attract people and want to hang around them like that? Seems like the only reason people were around me was to use me for rides/money? I've known several people that didn't need to buy things in order for people to want to be around them... what makes people want to be around those types? I want to understand what I am doing wrong. Whenever I try to be fun/exciting it just comes off as try-hard, and therefore very needy, desperate, and clingy.
The problem I have is a super serious/boring/bland personality. I'm not the type to be super talkative/expressive and all that jazz. Loud and outgoing. Basically all the things you need to attract people to be your friend and want to be around you/invite you places. Seems like I was always the one to have initiate and invite people places, never the other way around. Because I don't have high social value I don't go out much either. The only ones that would hang with me were serious/boring types like myself, like attracts like I suppose. I am just generally not a lot of fun to be around, because I don't talk and when I do it's not really fun or exciting. This is a real problem because I want friends and clearly I am doing something wrong here.
I know BP advice is "just be yourself, the right ones will come" but this has gotten me nowhere. Clearly my personality isn't the type that attracts people. Now, I don't want to change and be something I am not. But I don't want to continue being weird, odd, different, quiet. I also don't want to be the type who FAKES who he is just to make friends. You basically just become a dancing monkey at that point and you are living in their frame. How do you find a balance here? Between being who you are, but also being the type that people want to be around? I want friends but I don't want to be something I am not or be used?. I need some sort of value, but I don't have that, either personality or materialistically.