I made a post several weeks back about a relationship I was in. I thought I had swallowed the red pill only to find out I had rationalized my behaviors as being red pilled. The chick was a HB/9, ending a marriage she had gotten into at 18(now 23), and was long distance. I know all of you are jumping to blast me for being a pussy ass beta male who didn't digest the red pill but I already got that on the last post so I'm here for different reasons. I realize how many fuck ups I made and I’m committing to doing the learning now.
It was the first relationship I have had. In the past I've had sex with two women and both times I had anxiety induced ED. When we would talk and have phone sex I never had the problems, we connected extremely well and agreed on a lot of unorthodox opinions. I had convinced myself of so many things I didn't believe in like soul mates and all that bull shit. Honestly this part is a warning to anyone who hasn't fully digested the red pill. Watch the fuck out for how your emotions can convince you of so much bull shit.
I honestly think I did a good job being alpha at the beginning aside from it being long distance. She was telling me I was hottest guy on the planet, sending me gifts and blowing up my phone constantly. I saw this relationship as an opportunity to learn red pill dynamics from a distance, thinking this would keep my emotions out of it. WRONG. I had read RM, game, mystery method and a couple others before starting it. I know, I know, I disregarded half the shit in RM but that was part of me learning so I can't say I regret all of this.
She mentioned a guy from her past who I now know made her an alpha widow. She told me how much she hated him. He had cheated on her publicly in high school, kicked her out his car 45 mins from home and made her find her way back and all other shit. He only came up once in a blue moon so I didn't read much into it at the time. However, days before I had a complete loss of frame I remember her mentioning him. Saying it was the first time she'd seen his IG in a long time. After we had our big fight because I lost frame completely, I noticed him follow her on IG and she followed him back.
Next thing I know she is completely done with me. It shocked me. I got real beta and insecure and told her I knew she was talking to him. She said he hadn't even reached out to her which I'm sure was a lie. Fast forward two and a half weeks, I had been in no contact(still trying to gerry rig this oneitis) with her and she reaches out to me. She mention she'd hung out with him a couple times and that it was only as friends and that she realized he was actually a "good guy now." I knew this was a lie when she told me. In a weird way I felt relieved when she said it. It was like a release from oneitis somehow as much as I had wanted to make things work.
I really wanted you guys opinion on this idea of women lying. This girl in particular had more red flags than I can count and I know I should have steered clear. Her mother and her hated each other, she admittedly had been kinda slutty in high school, she was married when we started and I could go on. She had started talking about marriage with me like a month into us talking and while her divorce was going on she told she had lied about that to keep me from leaving her. She later explained she was just feeling that way because she was going through the divorce and didn’t want to think about it and I bought it because after it was over she started talking about marriage again. However this was a lie and I know there are other lies I’m struggling to remember.
It’s one of the hardest things for me to swallow in the red pill. I'm posting in Married Red Pill because I would like to know how you guys deal with this in an LTR or marriage. I should have known better than to believe anything this woman said. After all, she lied to her husband before she started the divorce and told him I was just a friend. Who knows what else she lied about. Are all women manipulative liars to this degree or she just an awful LTR candidate? Do you just accept that your wife or LTR is probably lying to you about a lot of things? and if so how do you deal with this in your head?
It's so hard for me to believe all women are just lying constantly and have no moral compass. I'm not marriage oriented per say but I enjoy having more than a shallow relationship with a woman. I even went out to bars this past weekend. It was my first time really implementing game strategies and I made out with a couple of chicks and got a number but it's hard to explain but I felt completely disassociated from the entire experience. Is this some deep rooted blue pill shit I have to break through or is it possible to be red pill in a LTR with a great woman, who isn't bullshitting you and you feel a genuine connection to? And does it just mean I have a problem if I prefer that to casual sex?