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Noob question... Redpilled overnight? What happened?

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April 22, 2019
9 upvotes

TLDR- my wife flipped out, threatened divorce, I dgaf and next day bangs me like I have never experienced with anyone 3 times, 2 day after. She intiates and does all the extras.

Long version- People Me:36 5'6' 170lb, not fat, not cut, I work construction. My wife is 36 as well and we have 2 kids 3 and 1 1/2 years old, and my wife is 5 months pregnant now. We have been married 8 years now. She works full time. So needless to say we are busy as fuck.

Situation

Few days before I am fingering her and put my cock in front of her mouth. She gives me a bitchy, I am not doing that today. I get up calmly, give her a kiss on forehead and leave.

I tell her I am painting and she needs to get the kids from daycare. She wants to grocery shop and me to get kids. I don't and tell her no flat out. Later she accidentally feeds our son something that he is allergic to (mild allegeries, not life threatening). I say to take it away, she says no. I don't make a big deal about it. I tell her I am going to go get a beer and then I leave. I have never does this to her, just left with authority. She is pissed the rest of the night and one shit test after another. I keep it light and laugh it off. She gets mad enough she pushes me down when I was bent over. I grab her wrists and tell never to do it again. I don't hurt her but contain her and show power. Later on more shit tests. She says she wants to talk after she puts our son down. I fall asleep she wakes me up by bitching and turning lights on. I try to fall back asleep she slaps me in the face and I pick her up off of her feet pin her on bed, again not hurting but maintaining control. And another "don't do that". No anger from me, just sternness. I try to go back to sleep, she continues shit testing, crying, threatening me with cops, threatening divorce. Still I show no anger and don't engage.

Next day she is still pissed. Not as bad of shit test but still coming. Later on she lays down for nap I start fingering her and put my cock in her face. Shows hesitation then goes to town and tells me to lick her vagina. She has never been this forward. Later on sits me down blows me and fucks me with kids downstairs. Then we go again that night, same thing, all the bells and whistles. Then next day same crazy sex twice, one her waiting with lingerie. She is doing all the shit she said she doesn't like doing less than 3 days ago.

During the second night of this after romp session. She tells me that this is bc she was praying and about to leave me right before the initial sex event. Then she got really horny for me after praying.

Now it's today. We go back to work. I don't know what tonight will bring.

I held frame, loving but firm, made light of her negative emotions(sarcastic funny corrective jokes), and made it clear I want better from her through this whole thing, not by saying but doing. I even made up goals and guidelines for myself, workout and career shit.

Can the experienced guys tell me if I flipped her on switch? What do I do to keep it on? I just am looking for an explanation bc I am sooo damn new to red pill.


Post Information
Title Noob question... Redpilled overnight? What happened?
Author MarkM1982
Upvotes 9
Comments 34
Date 22 April 2019 08:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236038
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bg70b9/noob_question_redpilled_overnight_what_happened/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
frameshit testthe red pill
Comments

[–]redwall9212 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Look up hysterical bonding. I was pulled into the bathroom at my office for some oral by my wife after a mild event of our own.

My experience says that this ...

Can the experienced guys tell me if I flipped her on switch?

is the wrong question. Don't care what her switch is. Things will be up and down as far as "the relationship" is concerned. This "red pill" you mention doesn't have the relationship or her switch as it's focus. If you focus on the relationship or her switch, then you're not working the red pill.

I just am looking for an explanation bc I am sooo damn new to red pill.

Thanks for putting that into words. Now stop looking for an explanation like your wife is some sort of Nintendo controller to get awesome sex.

[–]MarkM1982[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hysterical bonding sounds possible, with pregnancy hormones and our reliance on one another, small kids, new house mortgage. I was referring to Dan Bacon's good girl switch, if you are familiar with him. I don't expect magic, it was just so damn sudden, it confused me. I have also been focusing on my own improvement and increasing my value as prescribed by the red pill. Also I have been listening to Hunter Drew, the Family Alpha. Thank you for the input. Knowledge is power and this is an area I am very ignorant. I am not trying to half ass my attempts, but was not expecting such sudden and drastic results. My main concern, after figuring out what happened, was keeping the momentum and limiting problems that may occur later on through increasing knowledge.

[–]NordicVikingKing6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP you need to remember that your wife is 5 months pregnant, so her hormones are all over the place. Her need for safety and security from you need to be at its best, so you’ll need to be on point with this which you seem to be doing for now.

A word or warning though! You should look up the 12 levels of dread in the sidebar amongst other materials, but this is highly poignant given your wife’s current condition. Ignore this at your own risk!

[–]MarkM1982[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great advice, I had better slow my roll and stick with past behaviors she is used to. Past quasi-alpha-ish behaviors that she had seen in the past, but not as much recently. So no new dread introductions for awhile.

[–]SepeanRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

There are no tricks. Just be attractive - frame and game is the bigger part of that. It's all in the sidebar, it's just alpha and SMV.

New guys go through a roller coaster experience. She goes like this:

  • hmm, maybe he's more alpha than I think, I'll shit test him harder
  • he passed, that's hot!
  • repeat

This goes on until the main event, after which she calms down and submits.

So don't worry if she goes super bitchy again, it's how these things work. Just hold frame through it, enjoy the sexy times that follow, and be ready for the next round.

[–]MarkM1982[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The roller coaster comment helps me out alot. I must be on the right track then.

What main event do you mean? Her giving a massive shit test?

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Main Event is broadly the nuclear shit test that creates a fork in the road relationship wise.

It may be catalyzed by either party, but like all fights is usually started by the wife.

The difference between Main Event and other shit tests is that it isn't really a test most of the time. A test is something you pass and the cycle starts again (Sepean's loop in parent comment). It can be failed, however.

Main Event is a dramatic attempt by the woman to reclaim her beta (ie her power, which she doesn't want btw) or by the man to assert that the new relationship dynamic cannot be temporary.

The fork is whether she accepts the change or not.

ME breaks marriages because the marriage was meant to be broken.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Possibly.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Can the experienced guys tell me if I flipped her on switch?

hysterical bonding. you're ACTING like a man with options that is looking for the exit ramp.

What do I do to keep it on?

stop acting and actually be a man with options that has one foot out the door at all times. in other words, actually do all this

I even made up goals and guidelines for myself, workout and career shit.

and, then their's your hamster

5'6' 170lb, not fat, not cut, I work construction

i'm 5'6" 170lbs and am cut. i also have thick bones and very broad shoulders for a manlet. in other words, you're not obese but you are fat (>20% body fat).

the frame seems to come pretty natural to you, which is indeed a gift because that is the hardest part. your focus should be the knowledge (sidebar) and the physique (lifting/diet); and always owning your shit. everything in this seminal post is true.

i was going to unload on your reaction to the allergenic child too; but i find your explanation of what's actually going on there viable and reasonable. just know that your wife most likely started the activity in that moment to grab frame from you. in other words, she's a woman willing to use your kids as tools/pawns in the marriage. that, and

she slaps me in the face

are burning red flags. hopefully these are indicators of just how gay you have been, and not an indication of your wife being a total POS.

[–]MarkM1982[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely fantastic advice. I am also hoping the red flags are more about me being gay. She has shit parents but far exceeds them in her character.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Persaeus, you are 5'6 and cut at his weight but he seems to be above 20% bf? You must be low as fuck. What's your DL?

Edit: I am 5' 8 163lbs ~19%bf - From my perspective you've put in the work of a strait up primal savage to get above my weight and retain good form. Olympic level bro.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Olympic level bro.

wouldn't go that far, abs are barely visible now at around 15+% BF

SQ(345), DL(295), BP (225), OP (145), ROW (165), one arm curl (45). all 5/3/1 working weight except DL and curl (8), not max. i don't fuck with max and i intentionally keep my DL low with 5 reps every set (volume) because of historical lower back issues.

bone structure/mass makes a big difference in comparing people. my shoulders are as wide as my dad who is 6' tall. have had comments on large my hands/ankles/wrist are. largest helmet sizes barely fit over my head. basically i'm a well built dwarf running Test. currently cutting to 165 by July 4th, that's the goal

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ah well I'm happy to see those numbers. The only place I'm getting close to you is Overhead Press. I'm splitting my arms one day BP one day OP and I really keep them equal. That probably means I'm lazy on my BP but without a spotter I'm growing slowly.

I hear you on the structure. I've got a small frame and I'm aiming for MMA fighter phisique [145lbs] when I finish but I am comfortable up in the 50's/60's for the next year or so.

I can see where you have plenty more room to grow but those Sq numbers are huge. I know on youtube you see people doing way more than that, maybe your peers at the gym too but really, that's fucking heavy dude.

Back issues suck. Well thanks for sharing man, good motivation for me as well.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only place I'm getting close to you is Overhead Press.

yeah, i'm a little weak there because left shoulder needs a rebuild. i had to lay off OVHP last four months of 2018. got a cortisone injection in January which allowed me to move back up to my PR (145) but the shot is wearing off, and i won't go over. see doc next week when i'll get another shot and schedule my MRI. will lay off OVHP though through summer to save shoulder for wakeboarding. plan is shoulder surgery at end of summer.

without a spotter

power rack safety bars. has saved my ass on many a fail.

[–]JCX_Pulse1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I can’t get over how many posters have come up in the last few weeks with spousal assault happening. When did women just start openly hitting their husbands and thinking it was ok? Or is this the dark side of the long road of beta behavior? The equivalent of a pimp hand to the husband because the wife has been in control for so long and wants to keep her man in his place?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Or is this the dark side of the long road of beta behavior?

this mostly, but i will say two other significant factors are:

  • cultural acceptance and broad knowledge of the Duluth model - police come to house husband is going to jail if he lays a hand on her, no matter who started it

  • more importantly honestly, the increasing portrayal of women asserting dominance in a masculine-physical manner in movies and TV

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, you can't hurt them so you must learn to restrain them. I have seldom dealt with abuse from women personally. I tell them early on and anytime things get close that an act of physical violence will end our relationship.

That's kid shit.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women have been hitting their husbands for decades and feminists celebrate it! They gave awards and prizes for a movie about a woman who burned her husband to a crisp.

Women are every bit as violent as men and 85% of "abuse" cases are situations where the man and women are hitting each other. I think the dynamic is exactly as you state. It is the wife exercising her power to keep her husband in his place.

[–]KatanaRunner0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

how would you handle it?

[–]JCX_Pulse1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ll preface my response with this: I’m not an expert. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, and anyone in this situation should consult a therapist or counselor or someone other than an internet stranger.

That being said, if this was a power play to demonstrate dominance I would probably frame it as a toddler hitting me. I don’t react well to being hit or physically attacked, my fight response goes into over drive and I go hard. If it was my wife and she started hitting behavior I’d immediately establish this as a boundary that can’t be crossed. Calmly establish what I expect behavior wise and if the line is crossed again deliver consequences. For me, I don’t feel removing attention is enough to stop the behavior. I’d tell her to get the fuck out. Come back when you’re mature enough to handle stress in a constructive way.

I have no idea if this is a good idea because I’ve never thought about it before, but it’s what I would do in this moment if it were an issue.

[–]KatanaRunner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the prompt reply.

[–]adeptintact1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife pushes you around and bitch slaps you like nothing. That's what happens when you marry crazy. It's your fault for letting it get to that point. You'll have a long road ahead.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's fucked up that your wife is giving something to your child that he is allergic to... and you are having some type of verbal battle about it and then you LEAVE.

For me, that's some fucked up shit... The captain isn't going to walk out on his crew being poisoned.

[–]MarkM1982[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

See response to hard core red... Although you weren't a prick about it.

[–]RStonePT4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now stop being a sensitive faggot. Ignore tone, listen to content

I still tell myself this. Starting to happen more and more in the moment as opposed to after a fuck-up.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Better idea:

Ignore he words completely and watch how she behaves. Tone, content, bullshit, good point? It's all the same. They poke and test. You ignore and deflect. It is when they realize their total horesecrap is not going to affect you that they suddenly "turn on the (sexual access) switch."

Remember, God's clear commands did not make women tolerable and your clear demands are not going to fare any better. You have to understand the dynamics. She acts up and shit tests to gain POWER. She keeps it up so long as she gets POWER from the behavior. When you ignore and are unfazed she doesn't get power....so she tries to manipulate in other ways. The trick is to cut off her options slowly but inexorably until she has one option- must screw husband with passion or...I don't get what I want (attention, affection, love, help, consideration, whatever).

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Son is allergic to something.

Wife accidentally feeds him something. OK.

Did she not know or just an honest mistake? In either case we are talking education and perhaps a firm hand smack.

But then she continued to feed him this after you said something?

Why?

Here we are talking video and charges of child endangerment. In fact if you were not ANON I would call CPS myself.

These are the only questions that matter.

Better answer wisely you faggot fuck.

[–]MarkM1982[S] -5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I didn't come here for advice on handling my son's food allergies. If you read the post, then you would see MILD food allergies. We give him this stuff every so often to see if he has out grown them. His reactions are his behavior and a small rash on his butt. Not go to the hospital if he smells an egg. I would have been on the fence about allowing him to have it, had she not be so defiant to me. The only reason I responded is bc of your attack on my parenting abilities, which is extremely important to me, and I have a problem not calling someone out when they are being a judgemental prick.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, call a spade a spade.

Still a fucking spade.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just stay on the path. There will be good days and bad days. Don't let it worry you. Make sure you're putting your needs first and taking good care of yourself. When she's being crazy and bitchy just STFU or leave and don't let it get to you.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, this is common. MRP teaches guys how to gain some power in the relationship. That means we take power from the wife. That means, she falls back on her only source of true power (vagina) and bangs you into a coma. Next she will try hot-cold and denial to see if she can affect you and push you back into a box. Then she will accelerate her bad behavior until she eventually learns she can still control you with bad behavior- or until she learns that she can't.

[–]Garathon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pregnancy hormones. They make women crazy.



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