Should I force myself to drive into the city tonight with a friend and go to some bars even though I am severely depressed?

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April 26, 2019
65 upvotes

26 and pretty much over it all. I know that sounds like a 12 year old I am deep sort of thing to say but I don't know how else to explain it. I don't feel like socializing or drinking but maybe getting out would do good for me anyway?

Is there any psychology behind forcing yourself to do something when really depressed..


Post Information
Title Should I force myself to drive into the city tonight with a friend and go to some bars even though I am severely depressed?
Author bf1bro18
Upvotes 65
Comments 40
Date 26 April 2019 11:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236286
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bht1w0/should_i_force_myself_to_drive_into_the_city/
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Comments

[–]CANN0N_99103 points104 points  (6 children) | Copy

Sounds cliche but please just try it, go gym and smash a workout get a decent sweat on, then at the end of the session pull out a 1-1.5 mile run. Ur mood will stabilise, if u start drinking as soon as possible after that i guarantee u will have a good night. Also don’t fap.

[–]GucciGangBucks36 points37 points  (4 children) | Copy

Agree with everything you’ve said except if he’s depressed he should QUIT alcohol and actually improve his life SOBER. Alcohol is just running from your problems.

[–]oofmydigestivesystem8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. The tired and groggy morning after is not something you need to experience when you are severely depressed.

[–]JaYogi4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed. Who says you have to drink at a bar?

[–]GucciGangBucks9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I haven’t drink in well over a year now. I’m biased. When I quit my life changed dramatically. Don’t think I’ll ever go back.

Idk, if it’s just me but I try to get everyone to quit I talk too. Joints feel better, never hungover, always top of my game, only met low quality women at bars, met better men, grades improved, work ethic approved

I’m not a fan of alcohol. Also to relate to this guy I cured a pretty mild depression when I quit alcohol as well. Mostly focusing on myself and my interest. Not trying to fit in.

It’s a Friday night in a party college town and I worked out and went on a walk. This in society eyes makes me “lame” but I honestly do wtf I enjoy these days no mater what. From the ppl I talk to I feel like I’m one of the only ones who’s actually happy these days.

[–]clitorophagy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah if the guy's depressed there are better things to do than drink

[–]SimplyFishOil21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't, you just feed the depression. Do you want to keep being depressed?

[–]izzyinjurious15 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy

No bro find a purpose and a craft and just do that and work on taking over the world. I felt shitty at 26 too, I had my quarter life crisis for my shit together and now working towards becoming a programmer which is paying off. Yeah go out push your limits on being comfortable, but mostly lift and work on finding a mission.

[–]gordoburrito4153 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

I worked towards becoming a programmer after gaming chicks all my life and now at 25 as a programmer I’m having a quarter life crisis lmao, your post made me smile.

[–]izzyinjurious1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

no shit? Damn, everyone's purpose is different that's why we gotta find it. Hopefully we don't have another midlife crisis at 40-50.

what do you regret about programming? why are you having a quarter life crisis? Mine was partying too much and fucking off. Now my mission it's all about money, purpose and happiness. curious to hear yours.

[–]gordoburrito4152 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can buy everything I wanted (minus cars) with this new job out of college, but it feels unfulfilling that I’m spending 1/3 of my prime years on a computer making sure people are selling tshirts, especially in a overrated, depressing place like San Francisco. I can’t leave this city because I’m working on my immigration stuff with my employer.

[–]qwertyuiop1112224 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

because I’m working on my immigration stuff with my employer.

Dude, go north! Toronto needs you.

[–]gordoburrito4154 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is the salary:CoL just as good? If this thing falls thru I might just as well do that. I hear Toronto is lit

[–]qwertyuiop1112222 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're in SF. Every other place has a better ratio than SF, lol.

[–]gordoburrito4154 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

For software engineers? sf is pretty damn good, I spend pretty lavishly imo but still have enough to save and invest. Maybe I’ll live like a king in Austin or smth

[–]Duchenne4089 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What's the average work day like? I was thinking of giving programming a shot but got told by people in the business it's a lot of sitting down and it kills your eyes.

[–]gordoburrito4150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go into work at 11AM, dial into team meeting, code for an hour, get lunch, code till 5:30ish, come home and lift, eat, have a tinder plate over.

[–]Flintblood1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably the best thing to do in your current situation. Go work out and go out once with no expectations then prepare to go monk mode and find your mission. Learn meditation and mediate often. Also seek counseling or psych help if depressive symptoms persist.

[–]masterduelistky12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have to be careful about drinking too much falling deeper into depression, but I think as someone that's in the same situation, being a recluse will eventually only make your need for socializing more profound. I just have learned to go out and not expect anything.

[–]discohumpty5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes you should definitely go out especially if you don't go out often. You never know what may happen. But (I'm projecting) if you go out with low energy not much will happen. But take it as time to practice socializing. You should be opening girls, but at the very least socializing 'should' help your depression.

[–]Seven_league_boots3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends how clinical your depression is. Alcohol often makes that worse.

[–]Casd122 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depression is a negative feedback loop, you need to break it. Go out and enjoy yourself. One step at a time

[–]Jussie_Mullet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes there is psychology behind it.

Yes sometimes you have to force yourself to do things.

Ask yourself are you going to feel better after you have done it ?

or are you going to feel better if you stayed at home wrapped in your blankie?

This is the same fucking question people have to ask themselves to trick themselves to go to the gym

And on another note

Fuck your depression

I speak from experience here but question how many hours and days have you lost?

Time is a man's only real Precious commodity.

How much more of your precious commodity will you sacrifice to the false god of depression

[–]ChemicalGiraffe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to the gym instead

[–]Enlightened_Chimp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes 100%

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hope you went out my dude. Have a drink for me (currently abstaining myself and boy howdy do I miss whiskey hah)

[–]communistcontrolact1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get over it and do t drink alcohol. Be a man

[–]Whoisaryan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just try to leave your comfort zone, worst case scenario you’ll hate it, but atleast you tried

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Instead of a bar and drinking, going out for actual food with your friend might be better for you. Try a new spot

[–]RedPill20181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to what Cannon said and also clean up your room/house/car. Also, get David Goggins book on Audible. If you have Amazon Prime, you get free credits for Audible in which the credits can be used to purchase books. If you aren’t available to get the book, check out his podcast that he did with Joe Rogan:

https://youtu.be/BvWB7B8tXK8

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You never know what will happen. Even when depressed really cool, unexpected shit has happened when I decided to “just go out anyway.” You’ll probably STILL be apprehensive the next time, but as long as you actually walk out your door, you’re good.

[–]gbnz871 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Theres two ways this can go.

You either stay home and stay as you are

Or you go out and because you dont have a good positive vibe you will likely not do well with women and will likely end up going home miserable.

I dont know what your mindset is like so its way too difficult to say.

[–]muddynips1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take what energy you do have, and use it for something building. Depression is an existential angst, so the more you devote yourself toward meaningful efforts the more it will abate.

[–]maljo241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Push yourself back into life.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know I've answered this exact question before.

Your account is years old but you delete everything.

Smells like under a bridge around here.

You trollin, u/bf1bro18 ?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes.

Staying in your room isn't going to solve it.

[–]RexAdPortas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, do you want to stay depressed? Keep shitty habits. If not act.

[–]OneYearTransform0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A change in scenery usually lifts my spirits even though I despise going out sometimes. My room seriously makes me depressed af.

[–]TheGreaterKudu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been diagnosed with depression. I completely understand how you feel. My secret to recovery from depression or addiction or loneliness or feelings of worthlessness: say “yes” to everything. It’s all brain chemicals, synaptic relays, and existing in the present, which is increasingly difficult the more you stay in your head or on this forum instead of focusing on other people and your surroundings.

Say “yes” to shit lame offer and before you know it you’ll discover a world you didn’t know was right around the corner. You don’t know what you don’t know, and unless you step off of the self obsessed path that, by your own admission, sucks, you’ll keep tripping over the same ugly roots.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have a few drinks early, then switch to soda waters, if you’re not feeling it, don’t beat yourself up, try to just zen out comfortable in your own skin. The act of simply going out will be good for you.

It’s not that hard to get a few convos going at a bar with women, don’t have a convo for the sake of getting laid, have a convo for the pleasure of convo and for the practice of conversation skills...



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