The worse I treat my ltr the more attracted she is to me, made a huge realization.

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April 26, 2019
244 upvotes

I already know that the less invested you are the more invested she will be, to an extent. We see each other twice a week and I feel like an idiot but I just realized a few days ago that for the last few months we’ve been just doing the same shit every time we hang out (usually just dinner, walk around somewhere like the mall, then go to her house and watch Netflix and fuck before I have to leave) and it’s become extremely routine and that’s why my relationship is starting to get stale as fuck and due to the lack of emotions and excitement her attraction to me is decreasing and vise versa, and that’s why we are only fucking once or twice a week and it’s really no longer fun to hang out with each other.

The past week I’ve been keeping my self busy as fuck, barely texting back simply due to me just forgetting and being busy, going out and just living life on my own terms and doing what I want and it’s been great.

Yesterday we hung out and I didn’t text her back the night before and she was being bitchy at first when I came over her house and I just ignored it and we fucked, then I told her to give me a massage afterwards and she started acting bitchy again and said “really I have to massage you now” and while she’s usually never bitchy like this, I also never usually call her out when she is and I just said “listen, cut the shit (name)”. So she gave me a massage and actually started crying a little bit for some reason. usually she always drives so I said get dressed we’re going to this hiking place near us, I’m driving.

I was feeling super confident the whole time, being indifferent, not giving much attention, acting spontaneously, leading her to cool places and waterfalls and just having fun for once. She was all over me the whole time, complimenting me like crazy, kept rubbing her ass on me and trying to grab my dick, she apologized and said she wants to fuck me again and give me a really good massage and said she’s sorry for the way she was acting. I had to go in like a half hour so we went back to her place and she went absolutely insane on me when we got into her bedroom, tore her and my clothes off and jumped on me, she was absolutely soaked and we had the most intense sex we’ve had in over a year and she must’ve said “I love you so fucking much your all mine” a million times during it.

I know dread game/ getting out of the routine trap works but holy shit I didn’t expect to see results like this so quick. Should I keep the dread going like I’ve been? I’m definitely avoiding the Netflix and dinner bullshit from now on and getting out of the house as much as possible with her. Routine/ comfort definitely kills passion in a relationship and this is a prime example of that.


Post Information
Title The worse I treat my ltr the more attracted she is to me, made a huge realization.
Author djc6782
Upvotes 244
Comments 67
Date 26 April 2019 03:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236310
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bhhjnq/the_worse_i_treat_my_ltr_the_more_attracted_she/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gamelong term relationshipgame
Comments

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten73 points74 points  (5 children) | Copy

Next step in the journey: realizing this treatment isn't "worse", it's the actual dynamic that makes both of you happier.

[–]redswed16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Any tips on reaching this point?

For example, whenever I do something incredibly foul in bed to her, she loves it, but I won’t lie it sometimes feels wrong...

[–]alittletoosmooth2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Like what

[–]redswed4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Calling her a slut,face fucking her in a bathroom, making her gag, etc.

[–]jbpostv4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. Setting boundaries, responding when you want to and calling out bullshit isn’t mistreatment or being shitty it’s just a dynamic.

[–]Schhwing216 points217 points  (13 children) | Copy

“I am afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same. They love being dominated.” - Oscar Wilde

[–]civilizedfrog119 points120 points  (8 children) | Copy

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

Oscar Wilde knew women.

[–]Schhwing52 points53 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah. My theory is that homosexuals can see through women better than straight men because they are not blinded by their desire for them, nor do they want anything from them.

[–]ImNotSue7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Gay (tldr it's more than gay but gay is the best word for it, not bi) guy with a lady friend on the side and a consenting husband. Can agree on this. Discovering red pill and realizing how it applied to probably every female I've ever known was pretty enlightening. Im kind of happy I can just enjoy sex with a woman because they aren't my only desire, far from it in fact. My husband is my best friend and I don't have to deal with bullshit. Being a BP slave to the pussy with no other outlet must suck.

[–]ZeppKfw8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a really convenient way to live life. I wish I like both cocks and pussy (Sounds pretty gay)

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gay guys are very red pilled

[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jerk off 10 times, you’ll feel the same way

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

And because they are partially women. That's why women hate each others

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So true.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, dude is red pilled as fuck

[–]marcus8crassus30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

They love being dominated.

[–]Schhwing5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, edited

[–]hazelstein1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great quote.

[–]Aggressive_Beta146 points147 points  (9 children) | Copy

In my blue pill high school days, this girl had a massive crush on me for a year or two. She was younger than me and a late bloomer, so I wasn't attracted to her and was an asshole to her because I thought she was annoying.

She became attractive out of nowhere and I decided to fuck her and then LTR her. My reasoning - quite logically - was that if I was an asshole to her before, she would be even more attracted to me if I was nice to her. Well, I'm sure you can guess how that relationship ended up. LOL!

[–]_new-dawn0x2116 points117 points  (4 children) | Copy

They're so fucking backwards. If women are the result of intelligent design, their creator is a sadist.

[–]TheDreadnought123 points24 points  (3 children) | Copy

That actually made me giggle

Thank you, sir

(still truthful though)

[–]_new-dawn0x230 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Comedy is tragedy - plus time."

This quote is attributed to a women but I doubt it was her own original thought, probably heard it from a man and parroted.

I guess I've hit my misogyny quota for the day.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can you find out for me who said that? Clever quote.

[–]marcus8crassus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No such thing my man, keep it flowing.

[–]dtyler8630 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s amazing how people jump to the sexist conclusion if you mention anything red pill, yet what you just described is absolutely time-tested and it was what brought us all here to begin with.

[–]laserdicks13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well pause for a second and realise that the following terms are all equivalent: Discrimination = discerning between Sexism = differentiated on the basis of sex, like bathrooms (sexist) and sex toys (sexist)

Neither bathrooms nor sex toys are evil or bad. That term has been misappropriated for the sake of monetary and power gain.

Interestingly, blind hiring now leads to a benefit to men because women were already receiving a sex based advantage. At this stage I feel like women earned the bonus!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude wow! Seriously there was this HB 8.5 that used to constantly ask if we could go on a date or catch up for dinner like 50 times in a year. I had oneitis for another girl and wanted to focus on her (how stupid of me). Sure enough once my relationship ends and I try and hit her up - she lost most of the interest.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same case here.

[–]Retstortion76 points77 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s called being independent, having your own shit together and not worshiping her.

Congrats on discovering what makes women interested

[–]jackandjill22-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay..

[–]Xerexes386938 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man. When I was in the first year of college, me and this girl used to be in the same classes but we never spoke. A year later I was at my hometown during the break, she comments on my Facebook post and we get to texting each other and talking on the phone and other bullshit. This girl fell in love over the bloody phone. ( She said I love you ) I almost died laughing. But was semi redpilled so didn't say it back. When I went back she wanted to hangout and get into a relationship. By that time my tongue had written cheques my real life persona couldn't cash. She kept on insisting that she wanted to hangout and I kept on putting it off. (I had a better social status than her). Then we had a very bitter falling out because I declined that I knew her in front of my friends and someone snitched. But I didn't give a fuck as I had abundance mentality. Couple of months down the line she calls me up again and wants to hang out. I decide what's wrong in keeping her as a plate and we start hanging out. We fuck regularly and she submissivly gives me head Everytime and eventually a month later we get into a relationship. She kept harping about how much she loved me & would never leave me and would keep bringing up topics associated with marriage and children. I thought although I didn't love her but maybe if she is so head over heels with me, I should become more bluepilled and consider her feelings. Eventually I got attached to her (or the regular access to pussy) but she reacted to my changed behaviour towards her by drifting away. While I was pulling my hair out trying to decipher her sudden change in behaviour, I find out she started fucking her ex behind my back.

Moral - Don't do it bro. Never embrace the blue pill.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime38 points39 points  (21 children) | Copy

Most modern men are boring as shit. They do the same stale activities over and over until the life is sucked entirely out of their relationship.

Then they're surprised when some guy, who's half interesting shows up and fucks their women. All he had to do was take her out of the house.

Women operate on emotions, watching Netflix 3 times a week doesn't really spike them. Take her out, do something interesting, fuck her in parking lot, be naughty, experience nature. Get her juices glowing.

[–]moltenw25 points26 points  (17 children) | Copy

But how do you combine it with what YOU want?

I'm pretty happy just working from home, going to the gym, being mindful / meditating, and just living peacfully. Some might say it's boring, but it's good. No social media, no drugs, I even quit alchochol, just living peacfully, working on my stuff - It's very relaxing, actually. I'm not even sure if I have the energy to constantly go out somewhere, especially when I have things like my career, studies etc on my mind, nor do I even want to.

Yeah I want women like the rest of you, but if I have to sacrifice trying to make my business work because I need to awoke emotion in some girls with some hedonism, maybe this isn't the time. I can't think of a more important thing to do when I'm 20 than to gain economical freedom.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime21 points22 points  (6 children) | Copy

You calibrate your expectations accordingly.

You have to make peace with the fact that the things you enjoy doing do not yield sexual interest from a large pool of women. There may be a small subset of women who enjoy it, this is pool you'll have to choose from.

Reconciling this with male biology is a little more difficult. Sex drive is inherent it's not something we just want to do like go for a hike or watch a concert, it's always there, and it needs to be satiated in some for of another.

If you are able to do what you like doing, while being fine with less sexual options then great, but if you want to expand your sexual options while still doing what you want then you're going to have to make a compromise. You're probably going to have to engage in alternative behaviors to satisfy that need.

[–]moltenw4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You hit the nail on the head - calibrate your expecations.

It kinda sucks, though, because it feels like you always have to sacrifice something to get to the "better, greener side". I feel like if I now went out and got incredibly good with women, I'd miss some parts of the lifestyle I currently have as well.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Compromises need to be made, unfortunately some things come at the cost of other things.

On a personal level, I've never found getting better quality women to be a hindrance. I enjoy gyming, my work and my behavioral traits.

I've enjoyed the process of improving, I've felt better internally as I did. Getting more respect from other men and better women feels good. Alot of it is biological, we're designed to compete as males, the better we do this the more our body secretes the feel good chemicals.

I still have my fixes, like reading a book, lounging around some times, playing playstation or sports. They don't necessarily get me more pussy but I'm still comfortably able to enjoy them.

[–]ticaaaa2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Or or just find a girl that likes the same boring things that you like , i know alot of girls that just want to stay in house reading , watching movies , cleaning , playing video games , cooking etc

[–]dontaddmuch9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s the issue though. He never goes out. And those girls never go out either. So how do they meet?

[–]ticaaaa10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well there are 3 chances : 1. Meets her online 2. Some relative or friend introduce eachother 3. Pure luck , they meet by bumping into eachother or when they go to buy a new game at the store he or she asks about opinion about the game or something and they just start chating

[–]Yoasted0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thats what hes saying, its a smaller pool of women who solely like doing that.

[–]boolDozer2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hey man, if I could give any advice to my 20 year old self it would be to do exactly what you're doing. Time -- YOUR time -- is the most important thing in life. Do everything you can do gain freedom and own your time.

I'm 29 now. I started my business when I was 24. I spent those 5 years without much pussy, but I was motivated and I knew what I wanted. It was the best decision I've ever made and I would do it again today in a heartbeat.

I don't have FU money yet, but I'm close. Still, I'm able to do a lot more fun shit, I drive a nice car, I have a nice house, I pick up new hobbies all the time, and do what I want when I want. I have fun and I get women. Money (thus freedom) is my top priority and it drives women crazy that it's not them.

Like /u/KreffirLime mentioned, you just have to realize that your focusing on getting your shit straight, a lot of women want to do other shit. That's fine. You can still meet women and the same TRP principles apply. Just don't fret the pussy. Keep doing your thing man, it will work and you will be free to do with your time what you want. Women will come. Good luck.

[–]moltenw1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the comment! Great to hear you doing so well.

Just curious - did you go to a university? Or were you mostly self-taught in the business aspect and already knew what you wanted to achieve?

[–]boolDozer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No problem. I'm passionate about what you're talking about. Most people in your life will not understand it, that's ok, it gets better.

I did not graduate. I went to a uni for 2 years and then "took a break" (got into trouble). I know how much further I could be today if I realized this back then, but it's OK, your history makes you who you are.

Anyway, it still took me a couple more years to realize what I wanted. That's when I started starting different businesses. Most didn't work. Eventually I taught myself how to code. Today I run online subscription services where the money I make doesn't directly correlate to the time I put in. I have a couple employees but focus mainly on recurring revenue and low overhead.

Focusing on networking with other entrepreneurs is what I really wish I would have done sooner, and university is perfect for that. Plus you'll gain some knowledge; being self-taught has definitely made things harder, but it also gave me some type of motivation from feeling inferior. Happy to chat more any time.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Imo if u dont like to spike her emotions, you dont like to spike yours. If you dont like to spike yours, you are not really living.

[–]moltenw2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you dont like to spike yours, you are not really living.

Interesting viewpoint. Care to elaborate?

The problem I find with "spiking" emotions in general is that after mania there always comes depression, always.

You can not be in the mania phase all the time because everything is relative. After a while of constantly being on that good wave, you will start to lose perspective sooner or later on what made it all good in the first place. Those activities that gave you thrill now bore you, have become repetitive etc.

Sure, you can always try to "one up" the spike, but it's not a sustainable way of living, I've lived that way with competitive video games. Bunch of really dull, emotionless 24 hour grinds spent that eventually spike your dopamine for a couple of minutes that feels amazing - It's not worth it, even if I did become top 0.1% in the world at the age of 14 in the most popular game at the time (League of Legends).

I never want to go back to living that way. Hedonism is a lie.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The point is, a man who doesnt experience the ecstasy of joy and the blackness of despair has not truly seen life in all its colors. If you can laugh uproriously over something funny or sink into black despair, you can spike a girls emotions to keep her hooked - nothing stimulates a guy that can experience emotion in a masculine way.

This is what the Greeks wrote about in the Illiad, Achilles for example, was capable of experiencing maniac elation and black despair like when patrocles died. He was also capabpe of great mercy (saving Briseis) or great cruelty (slaughtering Troy or killing Hector). In this way he was a complete Man, a complete Beast. The illiad was written to at once provide a manual for emulation as well as to describe the human condition.

[–]moltenw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The point is, a man who doesnt experience the ecstasy of joy and the blackness of despair has not truly seen life in all its colors.

And why does he need to?

First of, seeing life in all of it's colors is impossible no matter what path you take. One way or another, you're always going to have a warped biased perception of reality on some things.

Deliberately seeking despair to tick off some checklist of "Seeing life in all it's colors" is madness.

With this line of thought, I might as well do heroin, do a bunch of stupid shit to fall into a pit of despair just so I could later on say "I saw life in all of it's colors".

One of my biggest revelations in life has come from the understanding that happiness & fullfilment come from restrictions. By limiting short term dopamine vices, you genuinely feel better without them.

Also, a man who tries to experience the ectasy of joy and the blackness of despair like you say won't be able to experience the calm, stoic lifestyle of restriction either.

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Deliberately seeking despair to tick off some checklist of "Seeing life in all it's colors" is madness.

Who said anything about "deliberately"?

First of, seeing life in all of it's colors is impossible no matter what path you take

Who said?

One way or another, you're always going to have a warped biased perception of reality on some things.

The point in what i wrote wasnt to ascertain "truth" it was to understand life better and if u have read any literature or classical poetry u know that there is a pattern in how people view the world.

Also, a man who tries to experience the ectasy of joy and the blackness of despair like you say won't be able to experience the calm, stoic lifestyle of restriction either.

Just because u can experience the ecstasy of joy and blackness of despair who said you cant be a stoic? Many would argue that in order to be a stoic u still have to understand the emotions of black despair and joy, how else would u control them?

[–]Chaddeus_Rex-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imo if u dont like to spike her emotions, you dont like to spike yours. If you dont like to spike yours, you are not really living.

[–]hazelstein2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

the real question is how not to be boring as shit.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read my post, "She's Bored, Evoking Emotion in her".

[–]hazelstein2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

one of the best post I ve read here, saved!

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bruh this isn't dread game. You were being a shitty boring boyfriend, so she treated you like shit. You took her out to do something fun and she had a good time and treated you better. This is like, human interaction 101. RP shit didnt make your LTR better, being a good person for once did. Quit being a shit boyfriend and she'll start being a better girlfriend.

[–]HotWaffler10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Call the cops on her lmao. Then dump her for getting arrested. Say "I just can't date someone with a criminal past"

Your bitter ass should be giving no one dating advice.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K189 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you feel you were 'treating her worse'?

Why do you conflate being leading, direct, assertive, having boundaries (around her giving shit), with being bad (Worse)?

You put you first, and weren't selfish...you simply put you first.

[–]hazelstein7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen man whatever you do, never pussy up because of the sweet talk. I tell you there are levels of emotions for a girl, 5 that I noticed, but you need to be stoic asf. Don't react to what she says, plus, don't believe her mouth cause it has taken too much dick, look at her action.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've Learned the value of push-pull game.

[–]MisplacedSanityP4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats man, this is like losing your virginity TRP style. The first time you see a girl absolutely submit to you when you're actually acting Alpha is eye-opening and amazing.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dominate her in the bedroom. She will love it.

Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Submissive Women

-How to lead when she wants to follow.

Of Human Bondage – Uncle Vasya’s Guide for Men Who Like To Tie Up Young Ladies.

-The Field Guide to playing knotty games with naughty girls.

Of Human Bondage, Part II: Slave Girls Are Fun

-When Life Sends You a Slave Girl, Put a Collar on Her.

Be Her Darkest Sexual Chapter

-How Alpha Widows Are Born

[–]Lambdal75 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t mistake dominance for treating her badly.

You’re not treating her badly here, you’re dominant. This only works if you are sweet to her and touchy feely. If you’re only sominant without caring for her, women lose interest quickly. That’s only fun for a while.

Don’t listen to the guys here saying, the worse you treat, the better, this works in their autistic world, but not in the real one.

[–]InsidiousCurve2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Also works vice versa when you're not interested in a girl, and then they go nuts...etc. That part is not fun.

[–]ButMessiDeservedIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why isn't it fun?

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you shorten a woman's leash, she has no choice but to get closer.

[–]helterskelter19881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it’s important to reiterate that dreading or withholding attention is ineffective if you don’t offer value. So one thing does require the other. Dread with no value won’t make women more attracted to you.

[–]Pokeylaw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude I feel this goes with blue pilled men and women, the nicer you are the worst they treat you. Like goddamn

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your question?

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. It’s only when you recognize abundance, and your power to walk away, do women say hey wait let me get YOUR number.



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