Guy flirting with my girlfriend at gym, how do I handle this?

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April 27, 2019
158 upvotes

I was at the gym today with my girlfriend this lad starts talking to her and then starts talking about me. I could hear all of this going on as I wasn’t too far away. He knows that we live together. He started asking what I’m doing and shit and she mentioned about me getting an apprenticeship. He then says he knows lots of people within that areas and could perhaps help me out and shouts me over for my name.

Nothing too alarming as it’s clear he knew about me and that we’re together.

He then added both of us on Facebook, finding her through my friends list. Later on he started asking her if I’ll have have a problem with them talking. Making it already pretty awkward. She says no he knows what you’ve added me.

Then he started saying well he should and started calling her fit and she just put “Yeah that’s why I go to the gym to keep healthy” sorta dodging it and then he puts no your arse. She complete blanks him at this point and has now asked her for her number.

This is the fucking weirdest thing that’s ever happened like wtaf. Guys full on weird. Just made going to the gym next level awkward.


Post Information
Title Guy flirting with my girlfriend at gym, how do I handle this?
Author MouldyMilkSniffer
Upvotes 158
Comments 259
Date 27 April 2019 02:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236380
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bhzkh4/guy_flirting_with_my_girlfriend_at_gym_how_do_i/
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[–]resnine282 points283 points  (21 children) | Copy

I was at the gym today with my girlfriend this lad starts talking to her and then starts talking about me.

What this sounds like is he is trying to establish the dominance hierarchy by talkin shit about you. Or calling you over, like you are some puppy dog or something. So in her eyes she sees him as the top-dog and you as low-tier, trying to trigger her hypergamy.

This is a typical tactic. He is trying to swoop in by acting like he has some sort of VALUE to you, dangling the carrot of a potential job etc. Then begins to talk her up in the process. This is textbook manipulation, uses some sort of value he has to wedge his foot in the door then try's to game your girl all the while pretending it was just friends. Then the subtle flirts will start.... then the hang outs... then oops we just had sex...

The good thing here is it doesn't seem like your girl is playing ball.

[–]askmrcia90 points91 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yea agree. What you just explained happens a lot in social group club activities like social dance groups, Co ed sports, or something like that.

They try and buddy you up, say they can help you get better at something because it makes you look less valuable compared to him and then he'll sneak and try and get your girl.

[–]resnine48 points49 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's manipulation. I have it happen to me a lot. I'll see someone who wants something from me, call that X, so then they'll try to offer some value as an incentive to get X. Call that other thing Y.

 

Convo:

Person: "Do you have Y, yet?"

Me: "No"

Person: "Sorry to hear that, well I know of some people who can give you Y"

 

This is their wedge in the door to start using their power(some value) against you to get access to X.

If you have something of value X, they will use their value Y to get to your value X.

[–]thrwy754792 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Person: "Do you have X, yet?"

Do you mean, Y? As in, they'll offer Y, so they can get X.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just corrected it.

I mixed the two up actually. X is what they want, so they will give the illusion of offering Y to you.

[–]Black_Jesup23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you need algebraic tutoring, bro? Because I can help you with that. By the way, is that your girl over there?

[–]rnsbrum-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is acceptable in social situations and not manipulation, he is offering you what he can so that you can help him get what he wants. It is up to you to determine whether its worth it or not

[–]resnine6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

He is offering a farce, a dream, an illusion. Most times it's like a trojan horse, not a gift but a move. Many-a-times I've been promised Y gift or something, call people, no one has spoken to anyone, still being processed. It's generally just some trick to get what they want. Not always ofc but I've had it done to me enough times keep my guard up for it. Got to watch who you trust, if anyone.

[–]hrm089430 points31 points  (5 children) | Copy

The good thing here is it doesn't seem like your girl is playing ball.

If this was true she wouldn't have added him in the first place. But OP not man enough to tell her he isn't cool with it.

[–]Modbsutansalt[M] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If this was true she wouldn't have added him in the first place.

Yes and no. She's at a minimum adding him as an orbiter and COULD be up to something more, but that remains to be seen. The potential is always there when orbiters are in the mix.

To the OP, let this be clear what you're witnessing here is her early frame announcement. When strange men come around she's just demonstrated through her actions that she's amicable to their attention and keeping it going out of view from you. This alone disqualifies a woman as LTR material as far as I'm concerned, but it's up to you if that's the case for you as well.

OP needs to consider himself lucky the guy made his intentions known (talking about her ass) and blew himself out rather than how most guys operate and try to worm their way in slowly. However, that still doesn't fix the root problem of his gf not knowing where the boundaries reside and what OP's standards and expectations are.

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well if that disqualifies a woman from ltr thats pretty much every pretty girl.

Boundaries need to be established early these days almost to the point of it looking like a master slave dynamic.

Cause as we see in our OPs story the guy played it pretty smooth until that arse message.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Saying he isn't cool just makes him look butthurt and mate-guardy. The more you try to mate-guard and keep that guy away the more attraction builds for gymbro.

[–]hrm089413 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

No that's only if you're low SMV. A high SMV male can say he's not cool with it and the woman will gladly oblige.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It depends and is situational here. If both gymbro and OP are at relative levels, gymbro could potentially offset the scales in his favor and trigger her hypergamy. Which by the looks of things seems like what he was trying to do.

[–]the13thmonk3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect dissection of what is going on.

[–]EvolvedVirus8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yes keep her away from such assholes if you can. If you can't, then do the same shit to him, poke fun at him, get him riled up, give him a nice buddy hug like as if he's your little brother even if he's bigger than you.

Emphasize to your girlfriend "man that guy was so desperate for attention from you... he interrupted his whole workout routine for this and like a loser added you to FB... You're so nice and accommodating giving him your FB, I should start adding some physically fit girls too to make new friends and improve my gym social circle a bit..."

[–]resnine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah keep them away but not in a mate-guardy way. Someone else on here said it like "Don't bring a hen to a pack of wolves" or something to that effect. A bit of what you are saying sounds a little butthurt and try-hard. I'd just try to make him feel small without looking like I am trying and act like IDGAF about the whole situation. The more butthurt you get the more the other guy wins in her eyes.

[–]CaptDeadlift9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

This would only make the situation worse lol.

[–]EvolvedVirus14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah that's the point. It's a dig at her while giving her a backhanded compliment for being nice.

The point is to cause some conflict. An alpha doesn't take disrespect from his woman.

[–]filthykarmawhore69 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Nah man what you suggested is pure autism. It's insecure as fuck. If anything it makes her more likely to call his bluff and fuck the guy.

Don't announce grand plans. If you want to do something, do it. He'd be better off chatting up a girl and adding her on FB (assuming his girlfriend looks at that sort of thing). Or striking up a casual chat with a hot girl around his gf. Or really anything that's not what you said.

[–]Jack-Casper0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You shouldnt be speaking on these things and giving advice if you believe OP loses out if his girl cheats on him.

[–]boy_named_su67 points68 points  (22 children) | Copy

You should not have accepted his "help" and given him your contact info

You should not have let him summon you

[–]Aggressive_Beta34 points35 points  (18 children) | Copy

Agreed. Accepting his "help" implies that he has something of value that OP needs. He doesn't. His gf saw OP implicitly demonstrate otherwise. Tingles were lost.

Also, there's a huge difference between "Can you come here?" vs. "Come here." One is a polite question, the other is a command from a guy trying to AMOG you. Complying with the command automatically put him in this guy's frame, and his girl sensed that. Tingles were lost. The proper response is "You come here."

OP should keep a closer eye on his girl, she might catch tingles for this guy if she already hasn't.

[–]resnine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely, it's all in the wording. The "Can" in "Can you come here?" gives a friendly optional situation, whereas the "Come here" is a command and a display of dominance over the other person.

[–]RuleTheOne15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ridiculous how easy it can be to get another man's woman. WOW

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn’t that I was busy working on the squat rack and just finished my workout. I went over to do pull ups which was about 5 metered away from my girlfriend and him talking while both doing leg exercises. He just shouted over to me asking if I was looking for a job and I just said yeah. The gym is that tiny you don’t need to summon someone.

[–]AClive224 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy

The autism is strong in this thread. I agree that him offering help for x was just him trying to get his foot in the door to game the girl. But the proper response is not to be pouty (no you come here!) it’s to be friendly to said guy, while subtly turning him down. And telling his girlfriend it’s so nice of her to offer some of her time to be nice to the guy, something along those lines. Make it us vs him rather than me vs him

[–]Aggressive_Beta5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Some guy whose hitting on your girl commands you like a dog and you comply? Lol ok

[–]AClive220 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, you do, if you’re not socially maladjusted. You saunter over casually and say “yeah, what’s up, can I hold your dick while my gf tickles your nut sack” or some variation

[–]resnine3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wait what? Lol

[–]AClive22-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

AMOG + gym + hb 8= cuckfest. Arithmetic bro

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'd say yes do that sort of approach if the three are chatting at the gym and all, but not when the gymbro starts texting her "nice ass", it will just start escalating from there unless OP steps in, or if hypergamy goes extinct.

[–]AClive222 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Of course this is when you put your foot down, but when he called him over it was the initial meet before they even added on Facebook

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

So you'd comply (in front of your girl) if I commanded you right now "Come here!"

[–]AClive22-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Probably. If I’m talking to someone or someone’s at the gym and I want to call someone over to our conversation I’ll say something along the lines of “come here bro.” And you better fucking believe they comply because I am an alpha 10/10 Chad who will AMOG anybody in sight and am just that hard bro

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It might seem like not much of a difference but the "bro" at the end is kind of important. I tell you to "come here" it's a command, not a friendly invitation. That's how gymbro comes off, that's why you don't humor this and hold your frame.

[–]AClive220 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So, your solution is...? Stand and stare at him while he’s trying to get you to converse with the two of them, mouthing the words no? Strong frame! No. Strong frame in this situation is taking this in stride with a good vibe and brushing it off as a normal interaction, putting your foot down only if necessary. This is one of those...stay out of your head or you’re just going to look autistic

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Someone else said it best on here, in that situation where someone who isn't your boss is telling you to "come here" like a command and as OP put it "Shouted" you say "No, you come here", no one is shouting "come here" at me if I don't know them like that. You promote what you permit. You let a few of those slide and he'll think gaming your girl is easy. If he wants to talk to me so bad he can just as easily walk over to talk to me. Situations like these CAN but generally don't get out of control. But as you can see it has with OP, so better safe than sorry.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agreed. And this is going to have fatal impacts on how his girls view of him now. he trolleyed right over at AMOG's request.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe, maybe not. I often wonder how much these events are actually entertained in a girls mind. Like do events like these once in a blue moon really affect the way OP's gf is going to behave and respect him? So one guy told him to "come here" and he did, but other times he has better boundaries/assertiveness. So who to know how much of an impact it makes in her mind. We are all just speculating what goes on in her mind, that's kind of the essence of trp.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. And this is going to have fatal impacts on how his girls view of him now. he trolleyed right over at AMOG's command.

FTFY

[–]Store_Front_Door60 points61 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's pretty obvious what he's doing and you see right through it.

You handled it well by not really paying it too much attention, it's your girls job to shut down thirsty guys and it seems like she's doing just that. Don't worry about the guy, worry about your girl, if she crosses any lines- kick her to the curb.

[–]WIA20XX 1 points [recovered]  (81 children) | Copy

Your girl is supposed to handle male attention.

But some chicks are passive, and some chicks don't know what to do.

You are going to have to AMOG him.

The proper way to AMOG, in my opinion, is to turn the guy's strengths into liabilities.

Call dude out with his strengths in mind.

"Are you trying to hit on my girl right in front of me? Seriously dog?" (This is the call out - most guys are afraid of being seen as sexual. So call it out)

Before he gets a chance to defend himself, cut him off, and turn to your girl.

"Babe, how's his game? Is he funny enough? What about those thighs, should be do more leg days..." (this is the AMOG)

Especially if he's jacked, focus on his figure.

Use compliments, never disses..

"Can you make your tits dance? Do one of those gym grunts? I bet you put four plates on each side right? You like that stuff, huh babe. "

And then proceed to dismantle every part of his body and his "game".

Have her chime in. She might even go deeper than you, now that you've unleashed the dragon.

Destroy him via your girl's comments.

And do it LOUDLY. Project your voice.

If you can bring in uninterested third parties to assess him, do so. When emboldened, people love to dogpile.

"Look at his fist clenching up, you really want to fight me now?"

Take that option off the table by calling it out.

Crush his soul. Make him rethink his gym membership.

The same AMOG tactics can be used when you hit the loo, and come back to some dirty mack trying to sneak in an approach. (Now if you're broad was entertaining that shit, make a mental note, she is weak, gullible, or worse yet susceptible to bad game)

[–]thrwy7547941 points42 points  (11 children) | Copy

It's a great move but easy to counter. The guy can "submit" by pretending to be genuinely trying to help you.

"Dude, she mentioned you're doing an apprenticeship, and I wanted to help. I'm not trying to take your girl.

I know you're smaller than me. No need to feel threatened though, bro. (subtle smirk only to you)"

Now, you end up looking like a fool, and he looks like the better man.

[–]resnine17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right, gymbro could play it off and make the BF look like the bad guy/overly emotional type. But in actuality the gymbro was trying to sneak his way into the girls pants...

[–]HotWaffler27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why dudes advice is bad. It's an overly emotional response that will show your ineptitude to compete. OP should simply gauge her reaction to the dudes initial attempt, and either dread or next. Be a man of options. Dont get all defensive and angry while also having your gf cosign your insults for you. Gross.

[–]WIA20XX17 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy

I doubt that he had game, but off chance you run into player at the club trying to take your girl, the play for any improv battle is to go with it. This is also known as "Yes, and.."

Defender -

  • Are you trying to hit on my girl?
  • How's his game hun?

Girl - "Terrible sweetie."

Attacker - "Oh I totally was, she's gorgeous. I didn't even realize you two were together. I'm sorry that you felt threatened. I want to apologize to you both."

The attacker agrees and sneaks a dis in that looks like an apology.

Defender's response should agree and address both disses, and turn them back, and the circle should go round and round.

If you see an extended improv battle over a girl between two guys who are actually good at game, play the lottery.

More likely is that you're going to roast your boys like this than get into this with random gym bro or club guy.

My sense is that this dude trying to hit on OP's girl is a rat, not a stand-up player. He's trying to make OP look insecure with that social media message. Either that, or he's a foreigner.

How the girl feels throughout this is not predictable. But we didn't get too much description of her.

[–]resnine8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

You make it sound like it's a series of chess moves.

[–]WIA20XX12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

I already said it above, you can play the game or you can flip over the board.

The gangsta option is to get up in this dudes face, and stare him the fuck down.

Whether or not he meant to disrespect is besides the point. Damage was done and now he needs to be dealt with. The alpha doesn't give a fuck of the girl is scared of him. He cares about what he feels, not what other people do. That's why these natural guys are CEOs, criminals, CEO criminals, and criminal CEOs.

That Asian PUA, Squatting Casanova tried to pick up RSD Tyler's girlfriend in Austin.

Tyler didn't AMOG, he didn't fight, he picked up his girlfriend put her over his shoulder fireman style, and literally ran away.

[–]resnine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The alpha doesn't give a fuck of the girl is scared of him. He cares about what he feels, not what other people do.

The alpha doesn't care about the girl just what he feels about the situation. True DGAF is only caring about yourself above all else.

[–]ihateyouguys1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Link?

[–]WIA20XX2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol most guys be like those girls pretty hot but man if you knew the hundreds of guys those girls have slept with you'd never consider them more than a human fleshlight

[–]PimpTears0070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I love Tyler. What an awesome guy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree this is way more likely.

[–]OfficerWade103 points104 points  (17 children) | Copy

You’ve done this before

[–]SmifnWessun266 points67 points  (0 children) | Copy

This dude has no mercy, shiiieeeettttt 😂

[–]WIA20XX43 points44 points  (15 children) | Copy

Bad game should be punished.

A gym is a closed environment, and a fish bowl for game. Secret society game, plausible deniability.

If new guy at the gym wanted to make a play for OP's girl, he needed to work on everyone but OP's girl and compliment OP's form.

Establish himself as the social guy at the gym. Talk to Old people, single moms, the serious gym bros, staff, personal trainers, the cleaning crew. Everyone, not just the hot chicks.

That will generate "natural" attention, and the girls gravitate. When OP's girl makes her play, it will be subtext.

The gym should be your secondary church.

[–]RedHoodhandles64 points65 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd rather work out.

[–]abdo2861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

😂😂😂some niggas do EVERYTHING but workout..

[–]resnine30 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy

That's exactly it PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. The smoothest ones are the ones that make it look like they weren't doing what they were doing. "Nah dude I was just trying to help you out with a job" "Nah man just trying to make some friends". Beware people bearing gifts.

The whole friendship-line is the plausible deniability from the gymbro.

Let's be real, any dude that wants to hang out with a girl or have any sort of friendship is 95% trying to bang her, it's just nature.

[–]Aggressive_Beta20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Beware people bearing gifts.

LAW 40: DESPISE THE FREE LUNCH

What is offered for free is dangerous - it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price - there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

[–]resnine4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'd also even add to that don't let other people do favors for you -- by doing that you feel obligated to do things for them in the future. When someone offers free help, be weary. Not always, there are genuinely awesome people out there, but a rotten apple can spoil the bunch. Better weary than sorry.

[–]Aggressive_Beta1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m already like that. I don’t even like when a friend pays for my dinner because then I feel like I owe them and they will resent me if I don’t repay their “kind offer”

[–]HotWaffler33 points34 points  (7 children) | Copy

So should blatant insecurity by desperately trying to call the guy out for hitting on your gf. Your advice sucks. Shit on here lately is garbo bloop advice that clearly shows a mans beta tendencies. Next her or dread her should be advice. Going on an emotional shit test spree on a dude is woman shit. Shows that you're threatened by the guy and not in control of your emotions. Doesnt matter if your demeanor is calm throughout, you're clearly whining and also looking towards your gf for insult validation. This sub has gotten full of bad advice that contradicts what trp is all about.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear22221 points22 points  (6 children) | Copy

Thank you. I was hoping (praying) this was on here somewhere. AMOGing is never the answer. Dreading your girl when she gives him the time of day is the answer.

[–]friendandadvisor-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

AMOGing is never the answer

Wrong, it is usually the correct answer; however, from the OP, we see that he cannot pull it off, as the dude is more jacked and more wealthy. Some of the above dialog was shit, not AMOG.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2222 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

nope, amoging is beta af. Who would need to prove something as mundane and pointless as that when you know you’re the prize. Go back and read the sidebar.

[–]writewhereileftoff1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This,I go to the gym with my girl all the time. Plenty of thirsty betas. She has never done anything other than shut them down hardcore. I don't even notice it half the time because I'm in the gym to fucking train. She knows it's her job to do this and does a great job at it. Probably doesn't even mention it half the time.

Anyways I'm only gouging for her behaviour. Its the only thing that matters. Thirsty guys are to be expected and quite frankly if I'd try to amog every guy that tried it would be exhausting. Its a fools battle that could be completely avoided with the right frame.

[–]HotWaffler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just keep at it with AWALT and Abundance mentality. Just remember that even if she leaves tonight you'll have a new one in the sack in an hour.

[–]friendandadvisor-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry, pal, you are deceived by your own misconceptions. That, and the fact that you think that "Going through some song and dance that you think sounds snappy, is 'AMOGing'. YOU go back and read the sidebar.

BTW, the A in AMOG stands for...well, nevermind. I'll let you find it out for yourself.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice try man but you’re not learning me anything. Keep reading and you’ll get it

[–]HotWaffler15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Idk this seems too defensive to me and throwing out 86 insults at the guy might just blatantly show that you're threatened by him. Also by having your gf cosign for you is pathetic. You don't need her validation just to assure yourself that shes not into the guy. You're supposed to be a man of abundance and competence. You gauge her reaction to the situation and next her or dread her depending on the response and reaction. Simple as that.

[–]CaptainBW8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus Christ. Second most updooted comment on this thread and it’s...just poorly written mongoloid fan fiction. The mods and ECs really have left this place. Although...this actually made me laugh at loud, so there’s that...maybe it isn’t so poorly written after all. OP, do not follow this comment. If I were the gym guy, and you followed this comment, I’d be fucking your girl that night. lmao.

[–]HotWaffler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah this is how bloops think how an 'alpha' acts. Whining in front of his gf while also having her cosign your insults for you. WCGW amirite? This sub has been slowly turning into teens posing as adults giving horrible advice that is against what trp is all about.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (9 children) | Copy

No quicker way to drive her into his arms.

[–]Aggressive_Beta13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Seriously...that's some Grade A mate guarding if I've ever seen it. I can't believe how highly upvoted it is. Goes to show you how much blue is infesting this sub, like the plague.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, its dissapointing. You think they'd know better.

[–]HotWaffler6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's what happens when young bloops take over and disguise beta tendencies to look alpha. All gymbro has to do is make you look emotionally incompetent and the gf will agree whether she liked the flirting or not.

[–]resnine-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

How's that gonna drive the girl to the gymbro?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Cause it shows you're threatened, it shows you can be threatened and that you will place him on a pedestal reactively when threatened. No better way to say "I'm low-value, look at me". Shut the fuck up.

[–]HotWaffler5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly this. This sub has gotten bad.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I occasionally read something good but otherwise it can be a shit show.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are misinterpreting that all wrong. It's not showing you're threatened, in fact it does the exact opposite. It shows you don't fear him and are willing to humiliate and embarrasses him. The threatened move would be to either get completely mate-guardy and emotional, or cower in fear of the guy. "Shut the fuck up" - Absolutely no hypocrisy whatsoever there buddy boy.

[–]HotWaffler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or you just gauge her reaction and either dread or next her... why must you white knight in front of your gf and then have her validate her insults for you?... you will clearly look like an emotional child... nothing says emotional stability like hysterically trying to insult the guy that just hit on your gf...in front of her... it's people like you that somehow think when orbiters try to slander a guy their oneitis likes, its beta. But whining in front of your gf because you read a trp post once 3 years ago, its alpha. This is mate guarding. This is emotional incompetency. This is against trp. What dude said sounds like it's out of a movie because it's his fantasy of how that encounter would go had it ever happened to him.

"Oh I bet you wanna fight me now. See babe his fist is clenched he's mad now" <- this is something socially inept teenagers upvote.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree. there is a chance this might work I will agree with that. But. there is also a chance that no matter how much grinning and jokey joking you do, everything you just said is going to make you look insecure and the dude is going to feign innocence. and he'll look better. it is the girls job to pass on him, not yours to respond. ignoring it is way better.

[–]Nervous_Wallaby 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

This gold. You should make a separate detailed about this.

[–]resnine-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Seriously is. I'd like to hear a detailed back-and-forth type post about conversational situations like these because I find myself in them a lot and not sure what my offense or defense should be in them.

[–]HotWaffler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you find yourself in these emotional situations often you should probably keep reading and not dickride bad advice when it's clear you dk what you're talking about. Extra pathetic when you ask for a script as if social settings are one size fits all.

[–]writewhereileftoff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If your girl doesn't know how to handle this clown in front of your face what do you think she'll do behind your back.

If your girl can't handle him, she'll better learn. It a lame excuse and creating a problem where there is none.

[–]Gawernator-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Savage af haha

[–]peacemakerzzz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is machiavellianism at best

[–]Zanford-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Crush his soul. Make him rethink his gym membership.

Nice. This was a good laugh (but is serious good advice).

[–]QuirkyDoctor-4 points-3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Wasn't sure how to exactly. This is amazing! I'm definitely going to try and improve on this. You're a legend.

[–]WIA20XX3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am not a legend. Random internet commenter who goes to clubs a lot, and has gone for years.

You should be skeptical as fuck but open, and then go try this stuff yourself.

Back in the old school pickup days guys would think of stuff and go try it, then report back.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is good stuff to know. It's like arming yourself with some artillery for battle. Do you know of any posts like these conversational battles? Or have you written more about them somewhere? kinda wish trp was more about this because it's much more hands-on and practical instead of theory posts.

[–]RuleTheOne0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Right advice based on real world examples in the field

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Too much theory not enough actual real-world experiences that can be applied directly to your life.

[–]CaptainBW1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Please do not listen to this. It’s one of the most retarded comments I have ever seen on here. How it has a 100+ upvotes is a testament to how far this sub has fallen in the past two years.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why's it so bad tho?

[–]slip-down16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy

Always remember that women are malleable. They take on the characteristics of the male that they are with. For example, my buddies girl went from a crazy liberal to conservative/liberatarian. In your situation, this guy is trying to distort your reality and put her in his, i.e. he's trying to buckle your frame. The simplest solution is to be aloof. Don't get protective, because she will start to wonder why, maybe this other guy has something you don't. Instead, when he hits on your girl at the gym, wave at them. Be aloof and do your thing. You came there to workout, workout and show her that she is wasting time. Leave the gym when you're done. Never address the situation directly. Punish her in the ways. Spank her a little harder in bed, tickle her a little harder, play with her as she was a toy. The other guy is just a symptom of your frame starting to weaken. If done correctly, your girl will shut that down. I've seen them go as far as dogging the other guy.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

They take on the characteristics of the strongest most domimant male because that's the one they most want/admire/envy. If you are with your girl and some more dominant male comes along you'll notice some changes in her behavior and mannerisms. I've had girls take on my music taste, and then break up, be with some other guy and all the sudden total 180* of what she liked before. Malleable is right.

He's trying to act like he is HIGHER VALUE than OP. The whole "I have this job you could work" is a false offering and two-pronged, it's just to prove that he is both higher up than OP and also pull both him and his girl into his frame/reality.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

He's trying to act like he is HIGHER VALUE than OP.

He is, that's the problem.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe? The guy sounds like a weasel.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

In terms of build but every other aspect of life he isn’t. Guys 30 with no job, no house and no car. I’ve got more of my life sorted then he does.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reminded me of Laci Green when she's with chris r gun

[–]CaptainBW15 points16 points  (18 children) | Copy

How old are you? First off, you need to cultivate a “don’t give a fuck mentality.” Second, that mentality is a prerequisite to a LTR. I’ve been on this forum for a few years, and even back in ‘16 the old heads on here would say don’t have a LTR till you’re 30. That’s sidebar shit. Now I understand the wisdom. Unfortunately it seems that most of the solid content providers have left, and it leaves the rest of us to handle questions like this. So, stop giving a fuck. If you haven’t set boundaries (you’re in a LTR, hello?), the best time was yesterday. You’re insecure about yourself and her, and I gleamed that from your first few sentences. So fix that first. But... “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.” Tragedy is always around the corner of Life...and Life wouldn’t be what it is without it. Best of luck to you.

[–]RuleTheOne2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Tragedy is always around the corner of life"

Thats deep.

[–]resnine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

As one door closes another one opens too though. It's just life dude, a never ending series of problems and your ability to solve them.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer4 points5 points  (15 children) | Copy

I’m 18 and have been with her two and a half years. I’m really not bothered about what she does and I don’t really care.

I’m bothered about how he thinks he can act like a buddy to my face yet an hour later telling my girl she’s got a nice arse and that he’ll pay her £100 for a massage. I’m bothered that I have to see this fuck whit a couple of times a week.

[–]CaptainBW11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

You’re a child talking about your childhood love. My heart actually feels for you. My advice is to read the sidebar on here and the main sub a few times, and to end this relationship on your own terms now, because it’ll end either way, and you’ll be back here in a few months crying about your mistakes. And please God, do not listen to the other retarded wanna-be-tough guy beta saps in the comments on here telling you to confront this dude. You’re doing the right thing in going to the gym, while you’re there only focus on that. You shouldn’t be bringing your chick along for that. You shouldn’t even have a chick, you should be playing the field. You are seriously so young...you’ll be laughing about this whole situation is just a couple years.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The worse fucking things happen in the gym... it just brings out the terrorialness in men or something. Lifting weights, testosterone flowing... the worst stories I've read on here have almost exclusively happened at the gym. Take the advice OP just DGAF because it's just your turn...

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

It’s really not that simple. I got kicked out of my house when I was 16 and have been living with her for just under 2 years.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Hey, fuckhole, can you post all of the fucking relevant shit in the OP, instead of having it come up fucking 60 posts later???????

Next relevant question: What drugs are you and gf taking? Are you currently in therapy? Do you have prosthetic devices? In a halfway house release program? Does your dad own the gym? All such information is relevant.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Apologies, I didn’t see how it’s relevant. I’m not bothered about her, I can handle her. I’m bothered about how I handle him, how I deal with seeing him each day? The fact that I know he’s trying to fuck me over behind my back

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

If you can handle her, then you don't need to handle him. You can, literally, ignore him. First of all, though, since he offered your chick a C note to massage him, find out what she thinks about that. If it creeped her out, make her report it to the gym management, and they will boot his ass, or, they should. If she doesn't, you should. If it doesn't bother her, you really, really, need to start looking for her replacement.

Further, you and gf block him on FB.

I can't see any options at this point. He made a vulgar, perhaps illegal comment, putting your gf in the class of a whore, and trying to make a bitch out of you. You cannot be friends with him. If he says something, say "Look, it's better that we don't talk, OK?"

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

She straight away came to me and was like he’s added me on Facebook and started wondering how he got her name as she never gave it. Every message she came to me even innocent messages like “It’s [Name] from the gym” and asked what to reply. Yeah I’ve not accepted his request anyway but I want to see what she does with this.

Sadly it’s a small community gym so not sure how manager would take it.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Every message she came to me even innocent messages like “It’s [Name] from the gym” and asked what to reply. Yeah I’ve not accepted his request anyway but I want to see what she does with this. She ASKED YOU WHAT TO REPLY!!!! Sheesh! Dude, you're killing me!

Tell her to reply: "Look, I'm in a relationship, and I don't think we should have any contact anymore." But, I'm sure you'll have an excuse not to tell her that, amirite?

Sadly it’s a small community gym so not sure how manager would take it.

Uhhh...does this mean that you are going to do nothing?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I’ll tell her to say that then.

It’s more they’ll probably do nothing about it,

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She straight away came to me and was like he’s added me on Facebook and started wondering how he got her name as she never gave it.

You said he got it off of your FB. BTW, get the fuck off of FB.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah so since he didn’t get her name from her he got it through my Facebook friends list

[–]AceMav215 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

She'll cheat soon enough. Apart from all the advice dread game might work, but she'll cheat on you soon enough you're in for some measure of trauma.

[–]adomuzas5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

dread when they are living together?... But yeah the less interested you are in who approaches your girl, the safer she will feel being with you. There is absolutely nothing you can do to repel these dudes. And being defensive just shows the girl that you are not the top choice.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know her enough and I can handle her. I’m not worried about her cheating on me with him in the slightest, guy isn’t that good.

[–]Yummmi14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is something that shouldn’t be your problem. Your girl should know your boundaries and that you will not tolerate disrespect. The fact the she gave out your guys information and the proceeded to add him on facebook after he was obviously hitting on her would be a red flag from me.

[–]HurricaneHugues42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm more curious as to why your "gf" even divulged all that info about you two, added him on FB, and kept entertaining the conversation.

That girl is not quality material my guy.

[–]RuleTheOne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn sound like the only option for the OP is to NEXT her.

[–]forsaken_in_the_dark8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why your girl talk to strangers about what you do and shit?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Its not uncommon at this gym, it’s a small community gym. I know a fair bit about half the people there.

[–]forsaken_in_the_dark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That shouldn't mean she should talk to people about you and giving out private information. You never know who that person is and how they use that information.

[–]deltron809 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

If your gf is adding dudes that hit on her at the gym, that's a hard next

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wouldn’t say he was hitting on her until he started messaging.

[–]resnine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course, cause he did that shit covert.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guy hit on your girl. She shut him down.

That is all.

What a bunch of drama queens.

Anything living outside your frame is at best slightly funny to you Amused

Anything inside your frame you retain control of Mastery

Gymbro is an insect. Don't spend any brainspace whatsoever on him. Why all the elaborate fantasies about a non event?

Live your own life.

[–]WoodWizzy872 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree, she accepted him on Facebook and trying to get her number. If he didn’t think there was an inkling of a chance he wouldn’t be doing that.

But I agree, I would have stood there chuckled and asked him if he was there to lifts weights or blab on and on like a drama queen. Next he’ll be trying to tell you about the next pair of yoga pants he’s going to buy... amplify the fuck out of him. Then tell your girl your workout is over and you’re leaving.

The dude added them both on Facebook ASAP which makes me think like kinda crazy or stalkerish.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (7 children) | Copy

Low value guy hits on your gf and she shuts him down.

If you engage at all with your gf on this you'll show you're low value and insecure.

Tell the gym authorities he's being creepy, get him kicked and move on.

[–]Physio_Tool22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best response in this thread. All these ppl hear encouraging OP to amog this guy are way to uptight and comes off as inexperienced

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for recognising that. All these kids on here mate guarding, shouting their insecurities with words that say "I'm Alpha, here me roar", but actions that say "I'm insecure, am I being Alpha??", like Simba in the first parts of Lion King.

[–]HotWaffler4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

No. Gauge the situation and dread or next. Tattling on him also shows you're threatened.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't do it overtly then and there. Just make an anonymous tip to the manager and..let him handle it

[–]HotWaffler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The main thing here is the mindset of abundance. Whether you're in an LTR or not you should always know that no matter what happens, you can take down a dime at any time. Fuck any bitterness, it's the game. If she seems like shes goin for it, next. If she shit tests you with this situation, dread her.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Gym is a small community gym not sure how that’d get down

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then forget about it.

[–]Retstortion7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why the fuck is your gf adding random dudes on fb?

[–]dm2226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

hypergamy

[–]NeverLace5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is 18 btw, still a kid. There's no need at all to care for what a 30 year old is doing with your 18 year old "GF". The great thing about TRP is that it teaches you not to mate guard, just to have self respect and do good vetting with a LTR. If she crosses the line, you leave her, you dont get mad at the guy she's with, it's not his fault. It's her disrespecting you. Trust me she knows that you're not okay with it so just let it go, dont interact with that guy unless you genuinely think he can provide something to you.

[–]dutchgguy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I were you I wouldn't be worried. Just keep an eye out.

[–]3chazthundergut9 points10 points  (12 children) | Copy

"Guy is about 10 years older then both of us and bigger otherwise I’d of told him to fuck off."

Grab your nuts and tell him to fuck off

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

I’m 18, I’d get my face smashed in

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

mate this isn’t high school anymore. he touches you and he gets arrested for battery and assault. you sue. there’s cameras everywhere. you can fuck his life up if he touches you

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not disagreeing but sueing is a pain in the ass process where you usually end up spending way more money than actually getting. Although the "win" if you even want to call it that (I don't) is it would fuck up his record.

[–]Mildly_Sociopathic6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

He can also have his face permanently rearranged and lose a dozen IQ points.

Clearly you've never been in a fight if that's the advice you're giving.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn that would put him at like -12 then.

[–]Rommel2210 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

If you can't hold your own at 18, you're fucking up.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

I can hold my own again someone my age or slightly older. I can’t hold my own again someone 10 years older and a LOT bigger then me.

[–]Mildly_Sociopathic3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Learn a martial art - BJJ, MMA, Kickboxing etc.

None of that fancy Eastern woo-woo crap.

[–]Rommel2213 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you can only hold your own against a small subset of people, then you can't hold your own.
Learn a martial art. If you are already, get better, or switch to something more useful.
Or just learn to fight cheap. A heel kick to the side of the knee evens the field easily.
Stop making excuses for yourself. The likelihood of having a fight perfectly in your weight class is extremely low.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve been wanting to learn how to fight for a while. It’s a gradual process, nothing is going to change overnight. I’ve never really felt the need to know how to properly fight,

[–]Rommel2211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand, and I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, we just have to keep each other honest and on track in this community.
The problem with fighting, is that you never feel the need to know how until you end up in a scrap that goes badly.
I was lucky enough to have that experience when I was young. 3 guys the next block over picked a fight with me at a neighborhood block party. Thankfully, they were just fellow soft suburban white kids, so they didn't even leave lasting bruises, but I knew then that I needed to to really learn how to fight outside my weight class.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BJJ all the way, it's not just about learning how to defend yourself, it seriously improve confidence and well-being.

[–]revosfts3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Grab his dick and twist it

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP needs to give'em a blowie.

[–]Zanford2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Did she give him her number? Does she reply to his Facebook messages? (100% he is pinging her on FB) If she stonewalls him then this is a nonissue that will go away, but if she's communication with him, big red flag.

I'm sure you know this, but the only reason he spun the 'I can help your career' line was 1. to have an excuse to find her FB by being FB friends with you 2. it shows dominance if he's the one claiming he can help you in your career. Also you played into his dominance move by coming across the gym floor when he 'summoned' you and swapping contact info. You should have shut him down then.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Na didn’t give him her number and she’s just ignored him when he started being all sexual.

I didn’t get summoned he just asked if I was looking for a job in that sector which I am and I just said yeah.

[–]Zanford2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

In that case you should just do the same if he contacts you (but I'm guessing he stopped once he had 'direct access' to her) and it sounds like it won't be an issue.

Any hot chick gets hit on all the time, and you wouldn't be present for a lot of the randos who cold open her in public, so the mindset I like to take with these things is that the most important part of the interaction is whether I gain or lose hand/SMV with the girl in how I deal with the other guy (and anyway the best way to reduce the chance that he strays is to maintain high value yourself).

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

It wasn’t so much the hitting on her that bothers me. It’s the fact that this guy knows I’m dating her. Tried to be buddies with me and then straight away goes messaging my girl basically wanting her to cheat on me with him. If it was some rando who knew she had a boyfriend but wanted to try and hit on her I couldn’t give a shit. This guy I see nearly daily at the gym, knows where I live and tries to talk to me.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If he still tries to talk to you at the gym, I would just be tactiturn and give him minimal attention (but not vent my anger at him); anyway it's the gym, you're there to work out, not to gossip with mcbroface there.

How does he know where you live?

I had a vaguely similar situation awhile ago; met up with a 'friend' (I thought) and brought along a girl I was seeing, he susses out enough in conversation to Facebook stalk her and message her. She shows me the messages (but I still considered it a yellow flag because she didn't tell me about it promptly enough, and while she wasn't flirting back per se, it was obvious he was just trying to game her and yet she kept replying...I ditched her around that time because of various mundane shit like she was getting boring and gaining weight and she also was too 'nice' to guys who would chat her up in public)

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I see him all the time. He bikes around my town on his bike selling weed, I wish I was joking.

[–]Zanford4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Call in an anonymous tip to the cops

I'm pro-weed, but anti-asshole

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wait, so she gave him her number... that's a pretty big red flag then.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No she didn’t give her number, he asked but she ignored

[–]garrypig2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“She’s not your girl, it’s just your turn”

[–]jsphere2562 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kill him and wear his chest muscles as a trophy

[–]furcryingoutloud2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why oh why are you at the gym with your girl?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To workout

[–]boom_bostic1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Make sure she keeps reporting back to you whenever he messages her again. Don’t seem like you’re overly worried about it. Give her the chance to bring it up to you instead of you hounding her about it.

Also, you said that it’s made things awkward at the gym. I don’t see why...if anything, y’all should be making this dude feel awkward. Guys have hit on my ol lady in front of me from time to time. The key is to not be too threatened by it...perhaps crack a joke (preferably at the other mans expense) and don’t let it make you lose frame.

He either has gigantic balls or he honestly feels like you’re a loser & a push over, so he can just take your girl right in front of you.

Which one do you think it is?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Think he’s just a massive dick. How would you recommend I go about it? Usually see him once or twice a week. I’m not bothered about my girl, I’m bothered about this dumb fuck.

[–]imPwP-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just go tell him to stop hitting on your girl, the next time it happens. Build up your own frame, be in control of your frame. And turn to your girl and give her a lead to say the things she's supposed to be. All of this only if the situation gets worse. Else, no need to bother so much.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I’ll probably just ignore him unless he mentions anything. Then I’d just tell him to stop trying to be buddies with me and then sliding in my girl’s DMs.

[–]drypumpkin201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey man. I not exactly sure living with the chick is a great idea. As we all have been told LTR's are Redpill hard mode, you get the picture. And also, I have had the pleasure of spending a fair amount of time in the gym. Unless you have bedrock solid frame there is a high possibility that Mr. Universe and his group of chodes at your gym could snag your lass.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It isn’t a good idea but it’s the only choice currently. I don’t pull enough to live by myself unfortunately.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

You flirt with other girls. Doesn't your girlfriend know your value? Why would she entertain flirting from other dudes when she has a bf who she respects?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

I’m not bothered about my girl here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Let me know if you want my honest opinion,if not I don't know what to say.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Sure. I’m just saying I can handle her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Okay, Is the reason of wanting to deal with the situation due to the fact you feel threatened by the guy in some way? If not then why bother to do anything .Leave it be as your gf ignored you. If yes the why?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Only reason I want it dealt with is because I see him nearly daily. I don’t like how he’s acted like my friend to my face and then fucking me over. I don’t like how he’s still probably gonna act like my friend to my face while thinking I don’t know what’s going on. Anyone else I’d just let her do her thing and ignore them it’s simply because I know and see this fucker constantly and how he’s literally trying to fuck me over.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I don't know the reason nor the mechanism used by this individual to fuck you over.

That being said if a person fucks you over is he your friend?

If yes then we just got to move on i guess.

You say this person is acting as a friend.He is not acting as a friend.Friends don't fuck over other friends,if they do we must move on as suggested above.

I want to ask, If this said person was your boss or relative etc would you "deal" with him or ignore his futile attempts to act like your friends?

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I said he was acting like a friend to my face but basically the complete opposite behind my back. Obviously this fucker isn’t a friend, he’s a cunt

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

So if he isn't a friend why are you getting angry if doesn't act like one?

I mean to imply since he is a cunt leave him be. His cuntness will be his fall.

Since you say your gf isn't showing interest in him the dude is making a fool out of himself.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just feel like it’ll make things kind of awkward at the gym when I see him

[–]S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

First off, don't let your gf know that you're thinking so deeply about this. A large part of whether she branch swings or not is if you seem like you're the higher value male based on your confidence and frame.

Secondly, guys like this... especially the bigger, fatass types, will take cheapshot AMOGs. You should have been skeptical from the start about this random guy trying to be buddy-buddy with you and hook you up with something. Men are completely different around women, you need to have context of the situation in your interactions. You shouldn't have friended him on FB, and ideally when your gf told you about him adding her you should've joked about something like "could his creepy fatass be any thirstier?" or some shit like that. I'm not really good at wording it tbh, but that's the general message your should've gone across to her. Giving off vibes that this guy's such a fucking joke, and hitting hard where women will raise alarms (creep, thirsty, desperate, etc).

Then he started saying well he should and started calling her fit and she just put “Yeah that’s why I go to the gym to keep healthy” sorta dodging it and then he puts no your arse. She complete blanks him at this point and has now asked her for her number.

Now you're kinda obligated to check his ass, or your girl might think you let other men walk all over you. This was no accident, he knew you were the boyfriend and he still approached her so openly with no plausible deniability or tact whatsoever. She told you about this stuff, right? In her head she's subconsciously thinking "I've done my feminine duty, I've brought my injustice to my leader... what can/will he do about it?" in less cheesy phrasing.

This next part might not be popular with the rest of the RPers here but I'll say it none the less cuz it's what I think, and part of TRP is thinking individually rather than as a hivemind.

This is the fucking weirdest thing that’s ever happened like wtaf. Guys full on weird. Just made going to the gym next level awkward. Guy is about 10 years older then both of us and bigger otherwise I’d of told him to fuck off.

People are telling you here to roast and mock him to AMOG him... I disagree. There's no need to roast or talk incessantly and what not.

Get some brass knuckles, the authentic type not the aluminum. Before you approach him wear it and keep it in your pocket and walk inconspicuously. Go up and say "Hey... my gf and I don't like you creeping on her, and you're not slick with that see-through snake shit trying to be buddy-buddy with me. We're just tryna workout and mind our own business, fuck off and keep your desperate creeper ass away from us." If he tries to start shit just fuck him up good with the knuckles... hopefully you know boxing, if you don't then practice how to punch properly with good form.

Then... if confronted by gym staff or police, have your girlfriend say that he was being really creepy and stuff and wouldn't take hints or leave you guys alone, and that he then tried to grab her ass and you were only trying to protect her. Our gynocentric society eats that shit up. Also have her show gym staff and/or police the FB messages he's been harassing your gf with for corroborative evidence. Get him banned from the gym or worse.

Of course, that's just the advice I'd give myself... I don't condone anything illegal and don't encourage illegal activity ;)

[–]imPwP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This advice was good up to the point where you said approach him and threaten him down, and use knuckles if needed. Rest of it was good, but what the fuck man? Violent behavior like this will put him at the most beta level.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow dude... that brass knuckles part... did not see that coming Lol

[–]bruiser184 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

People commenting here are fucking betas who are afraid of their girl thinking they’re weak (which they are).

Jealousy and insecurity are unattractive, dominance and control are attractive.

AMOG this guy. Show him and your girl that he is nothing compared to you.

Tease your girl about him. “This guys cute huh? Those legs though, he needs some more squats. He needs my help ;)”.

Big condescending smile on your face, laugh at this clown, use amused mastery. You know you are the better option, you are not threatened by this little fella, his attempts at your girl is cute.

Edit: don’t mate guard. Show you are not threatened. Tease both of them. If she’s going to cheat, you should let him have her.

[–]Physio_Tool5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dont think its as black and white as these guys are betas. Their is a way to win with both tactics. There is security in knowing your girl is strong enough to manage male attention appropriately. If she tells this chad to leave her alone and he persists then OP can ask her if shes got this or else he’ll talk to chad to let him know to fuck off. If she doesnt handle then he goes ahead.

Going shots fired too early can be risky mate guarding and trigger i security when she could handle it fine and never signaled distress

[–]Aggressive_Beta7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Mate guarding is a beta tactic. https://therationalmale.com/2012/11/01/mate-guarding/

Sidebar. Now.

[–]TopOccasion29-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It depends how it's done and the outcome of it.

Most primate mate guard. This sub is hilarious and can be contradictory sometimes...a lot of redpillers will larp about biology, evolutionary truths, alphas, dominance etc but will call some of these things beta.

In OP's case though i don't think mate guarding is necessary.

[–]writewhereileftoff-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only thing this does is show this guy is a treath. Terrible terrible advice.

[–]albertodespacito 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You don't wanna not do anything but at the same time not overreact emotionally as that shows low value.

I think the best way is to regain frame and lower the guys value in the setting via triggering him, making him look like a tool, all indirectly. Next time in a situation like this, go up to the dude and be like "WHAT IS YOUR NAME", before he even has a chance to reply, "WHAT IS YOUR JOB", continue this and "NICE TO MEET YOU, CYA BRO" and turn your back against him with you facing the girl. You wanna do this in a funny, almost obnoxious way as if talking to a retard.

[–]Dharmsara1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, there’s nothing wrong with telling him firmly but with tact to fuck off.

“Someone started hitting on my gf but I didn’t want to stop it and make myself look rude so now I am single” - you don’t wanna be that guy

[–]LeDolceVita1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like a pyramid scheme

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make sure you show an abundance mindset if your girl start to play ball with this guy. Basically if she starts pissing you off with her shit then instead of getting emotional and mate guarding, you should be withdrawing attention and applying dread until she either gets the message or you find a new girl.

Your girl seems like she isnt gonna do that but just incase remember you dont have to play their game bro.

[–]SpinPlates0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If your girl respects you and y'alls boundries she should block him immediately and next time you see him both of you should tell him to politely fuck off.

If he gets aggressive make it known to gym management about his suggestive comments about her body.

[–]hiddenpleasures1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get upset or show her you care. As previously people have stated, he is using a manipulation tactic "oh haha I can help with that". Now that he's offered support, blow him off and make it seem like his help is whatever.

Just ignore it.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't blow this shit out of proportion and shoot yourself in the foot. It sounds like he was a creep, and she did try to shut him down. What's happened with him asking for her number?

Above all else, you must hold frame. Amused mastery. If you are the prize, why would you give two shits about some fucktard hitting on your girl?

It's a tough situation, cuz it's triggered a little insecurity in you. That's ok. It's what you do with it, that counts.

Amused mastery, and abundance. You're the motherfucking prize, and if you're girl is stupid enough to talk to him, more fool her. Up your dread game.

Also, don't project that anything will happen. Self fulfilling prophecy. Just maintain frame, and amused mastery.

[–]zxcvb78090 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Just talk about guns around him. How your interested in them, how you like to clean them and how you need to go shooting cause its been a while.

[–]resnine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gonna run Dick Chaney game on him ay

[–]RickyRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a joke right?

[–]grimmjoww0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like the real issue isn't the guy hitting on your girl.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude sounds like a dork. he's trying to act like he's doing it for being friends which I thought may be at first cause I might do something like that, but when he went and asked her if you'd have a problem with it he's obviously scheming because people don't normally have a problem with things they don't need to obviously. As far as the red pill goes, the fact that this guy even things he's in the clear to do this may mean that you need to raise your smv. Maybe work out a bit more? more efficiently? and then mentions her butt like that idk you're makin the dude sound like a lowkey creep lol asked for her number? bro's doggin

and he's sneak complimentin? is that even sneak?

idk yeah 10 years older? dudes weird af you right

Get bigger than him and tell him to fuck off next time

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

You could also ask him to step outside and then proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of him. That is the one response I have seen totally lacking in this thread. This is what separates guys of today and the men of yesteryear.

Think of it as part of your workout. It would also definitely establish dominance. Of course I might be a bit biased as I have a lot of experience in manual art and boxing and actually like to fight for fun.

Of course being arrested sucks.... He sounds like such a little weasel after you kicked the shit of him he might call the cops.

[–]CaptainBW2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Violence advocation? If you were in America, and this situation unfolded as you’ve stated, you’d be capped outside...dying via blood loss on a street. Where are the mods? This is grade-A, mateguarding Blue pill bullshit. Why I’m seeing a comment like this on this forum is beyond me.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude it's free-speech, don't be that guy.

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Think of it as part of your workout.

Hahaha yeah that's some good cardio right there. A full-body workout even. Gives new meaning to the BroSplit.

[–]MouldyMilkSniffer0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Trust me this would be the first option if I was bigger

[–]SupremeBBC4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don't have to be big to fight a large bodybuilder. In my time doing muay thai as a 5'9 middleweight (fighting guys typically 5'10-6'3") I've learned that with the right ability you can floor someone with more physical attributes than you if you have the mindset and skillset. Stop walking around like there's a man that can finish you off. You already sound defeated with talk like that.

So if he gripped her ass in front of you and asked you what you're gonna do about it (physical threat), you'd just assess how big he is instead of going for the kill and defending your honour? Might as well let her branch swing to him right now.

[–]SolarTortality3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn bro. That was heavy. Good post.

[–]resnine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

*Grabs her ass* .... "Well aren't you gonna grab my ass too?"

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy

On some real shit just box that mf in the gym parking lot

[–]Aggressive_Beta1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great idea. Being an aggressive beta male will always help him get the girl http://archive.is/8NcK5

[–]GrandMaster621 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Tell him to fuck off. You should have told him to fuck his job when he offered you one. Tell him you will break his nose unless he unfriends your girl.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You guys hilarious. Most beta advice on trp award goes to you

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd be polite with him in a serious way, pull him aside, maybe put an arm around his shoulder

"Hey man, how about sticking to asking for single girls numbers. Look I'm sure its just friendly, but I don't want this to get awkward, lets just keep it professional".

I'd minimize any real emotion, just point it out, explain its a problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]perdipp-4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

well, to put a nail in the coffin, what I'd do is tell him something along the lines of , "hey big man that was weird. C'mon you gonna buddy buddy me to slide in my girl's dm like that? I thought with the looks you have you'd be better off. My girl had single friends but that's off the table for ya I guess. It was kinda pathetic but I get it. I've been there too. No hard feelings bro." and do this live. not on text that's weak. Also, delivery and body language.

[–]resnine6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Too emotional and taking it too serious. He'll see it as weakness and just amog more.

[–]perdipp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

works if the guy has moderate amounts of respect for you. But you would be right if he was classic textbook dgaf chad like that australian party guy corey sth, this would be a bit too considerate

[–]resnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Corey Worthington I think was his name, yeah if he didn't really give a fuck, he'd just laugh it off and up the ante. So people like Corey would no no bounds and make you look ridiculous.



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