I fucked up LTR, fucked up my life

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April 30, 2019

Hi guys today I would like to tell you how to make your life harder. I do this here for 2 reason:

  • I’m redpill lurker for 3+ years,
  • I thought that I own my shit but end up making my life harder.

Little disclaimer, I always was more purplepill guy (2 LTR and only fuck girlfriends not plates or random chicks) then redpill. Also I’m from Europe and English is not my first language but I tried my best.

First of all if you want to know how to fuck up your life you have to first make successful lifestyle. For me it was:

  • becoming second-year student of management and quantitative methods both at the same time,
  • hitting gym regularly,
  • becoming employee in worldwide IT company without proper experience in the field,
  • finding nice smart med student girlfriend and run successful 2 year LTR.

All of this between age 22-23

Now I'm 24 and I give you bullet points how to fuck everything up:

  • stop hitting gym when you feel too cool and too safe in relationship (decline of physique over a year),
  • think you are smart-ass and don’t need to study too much time. Even if you think you can handle this don’t let fool yourself to this trap,
  • if you think you have so much free time despite the fact you get shit don’t waste your time on mindless activities like video game, heavy drinking, smoking weed, eating unhealthy even if you think you control this (in my situation and type of character who seek pleasure, no you don’t control this),
  • both last point lead to this one. COMFORT WILL CONSUME YOU especially if you seek pleasure. When shit hit fan you will not be able to wake up in time and there is high probability that you in some way end up like me (dropped from both universities on last year because at some point I couldn’t force myself to work hard, EVEN CONCENTRATE ON WORKING HARD. My brain become soo fucked up from pleasure that only thing I could do property was fucking my LTR, hide my flaws and escape reality which means seek even more pleasure),
  • overdue things in my life to the point that I couldn’t make it done which affect my physical and mental health (I can’t make sharp photo thanks to the shaking of my hands at the age of 24. I become short-tempered, suspicious person which led to losing frame too much time with my girlfriend in public which in addition to losing general SMV led to breakup).

After applying all of this you will end up with mediocre body, at least break in education process (or no college education at all), losing good relationships and money. I wrote all of this because despite the fact I know redpill for so long I ended up fucked up alone in rabbit hole. If you can find some similarities in my story WAKE UP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

Now when I’m in deepest point in my life I have to make plan how to climb back up. To show myself and partially others that I’m not the person who I recently become. To never forget times when I was successful which prove that I can fix it and be happy about myself again.

As I feel inferior to pretty much anybody especially some of you guys I have to ask you for an opinion about my plan which include:

  1. Apply to college again in october to finish my bachelor degree (I can resume my studies from last semester so in reality pass 1 or 2 courses and finish my thesis at least at one university.)
  2. Stop wasting my time on meaningless pleasure and time consuming activities (I’m working on it now, try to cut shit out of my life)
  3. Get back to gym (already did that)
  4. Find job (I have some money that’s why I’m learning JavaScript now to be able to apply for a better job)

Thanks for reaching the end and for constructive or not so much criticism.

Post Information
Title I fucked up LTR, fucked up my life
Author Metrack
Upvotes 207
Comments 60
Date 30 April 2019 12:49 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236696
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bj2wgf/i_fucked_up_ltr_fucked_up_my_life/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
framelong term relationshipplatesexual market valuegamethe purple pillthe red pill

[–]FuckboyAWALT138 points139 points  (25 children) | Copy

I was addicted to video games (Fortnite, league of legends... the whole package).

What helped me was going cold turkey. I sold my ps4, deinstalled LoL and blocked the website with a random password.

I quit any distraction and finally the day is so fucking long.

I read heathcliffs Übermensch-Mode over and over again. Then it clicked. I want to win the game of life. I tackled any task I had to do. No more procrastination.

I followed his principles and start with a to do list in the morning.

Right now I’m preparing for exams, I’m still too late however at least I’m learning about 7-8 hours a day.

Ofc I don’t want to but I force myself to. I just have to. I made it this far, I’m not disabled and mentally fit.

It’s in your hands. Do you want to be a loser or a winner?

[–]fender187844 points45 points  (2 children) | Copy

“I want to win the game of life”

It’s so simple, but I love that philosophy.

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Video game addiction creeps up on you and you dont even realize what happened untill its too late. One of the bigger problems these days imo.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I could’ve joined the uni I’m in rn a whole year earlier if it wasn’t for videogames, though I wouldn’t have had the personal growth I had if things had happened the easy way.

The sole purpose of the existence of videogames is to waste time. How do people even think that’s normal?

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I considered it a hobby, like watching a show you like, except you play a character in that show. Eventually i believe there will be interactive movies once VR takes off. Things will be even worse for people who fall into that.

[–]Metrack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True story. Thats why you have to quit some things all together. You really know that you have used addiction but remember that addiction used you even more.

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v38 points39 points  (11 children) | Copy

So many young guys are addicted to games, porn, TV, social media...

So much time wasted...

[–]omega_dawg9318 points19 points  (5 children) | Copy

that's their business.

i don't encourage or discourage the shit.

all i know is that the number one complaint i hear from women that cheat is...

"all he wants to do is play video games."

[–]1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed. Most anything in moderation is fine. Hell, some women even like (or accept it) ((what ever it is...)).
But when it begins to take up time that should be better spent doing other things... ie. bettering yourself, educating yourself, then maybe it needs to be evaluated.

[–]omega_dawg936 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

women want a man's time & attention... and will compete with anything that takes away from what she feels she needs.

this includes other women, hobbies, video games etc. but you better not give her all your time bc at some point, you "have no life without her," which will turn her off.

yes... everything in moderation including the women themselves.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If it controls you cut it back u til you can complete your responsibilities

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All I do is play video games so yes it’s an addiction

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you post with your joystick too much and she'll find one to play with too

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos etc all used to read a ridiculous amount when they were 7-12ish age range. Obviously the internet is great but seriously I wonder how many potentially super successful people get derailed by distractions more common now.

[–]illusiveab1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much every wealthy, intelligent person reads constantly. I just saw an article somewhere the other day about Charlie Munger's recommended books and it was noted that Warren reads all the time as well. The constant pursuit of knowledge is a type of self-claimed freedom.

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Games crossed
TV crossed
Social media half cross, only facebook just to reply messages
Porn crossed from time to time but need help finding consistency to quit it permanently

[–]RedKepler0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Your porn problem is a physical addiction you have to defeat yourself, it’s harder due to widespread internet access and “easy” ways around the problem. You have to go cold turkey to end up defeating it- people who end up with addictions, are more likely to reestablish them easier if they try to break them.

Straight up put a block on those sites, but said pass word has to literally be a mashing of the keyboard to randomise whatever it is, and then a click. The chances of you being able to unblock it are minute, and from there you basically have to fight ever instinct to try and seek artificial pleasure in that way.

People say moderation of these things are fine, but when you explicitly say “I have an addiction”, you have accepted to yourself that you have a problem, and no one knows you better than yourself. So stop it and help yourself.

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, its reddit sub that's cause problem. I don't even watch them on a site. last time I did was 3 years ago. you are right only I can do it for me.

[–]pathos-ns1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

where can I find the übermensch-mode?

[–]Plazma_doge0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Link to what you read please?

[–]Metrack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for reply. You are right, people say that you can control pleasure in life, argue that you can fuck chicks left and right while spending time on mindless activities like playing video games. They are probably right to some extend but for people like me hell no! All this time I thought I control this because one way or another I keep going forward even for example I had to repeat the course. But when hard time came to me I couldnt resist the urge, couldnt take the fight. Seeking pleasure and escape its like being alcoholic but you feel good about yourself because you dont drink.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But wait, play foxhole I need a commander for my BT

[–]2319Skew65 points66 points  (3 children) | Copy

You're still young. It's not unheard of to go back to school or change careers in the 30s.

If you were going to fuck up your life, impregnate and marry a woman with Bipolar, go blue pill for 7 years and then fuck the hot but crazy feminist Human resources manager after you two get drunk at an office party. Then watch her gas light some rape charges.

Now that's a great way to fuck up your life.

[–]jackandjill227 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's true. But he needs to make sure that he doesn't do anything that's irreversible. That's the serious problem here. If he manages to find his way into a situation in which there's permanent damage being caused he's seriously up shits creek he'll find it more daunting than any other task he's undertaken to recorrect his course, specifically because it's difficult to rise up; in general when you're starting from nothing but also, undoing permanent damage or drags on what were potentially open doors/opportunities will make it infinitely more hard.

i.e. Once you fall behind there's a sort've dragging effect that makes it more difficult to regain momentum.

[–]Metrack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some damage have been made. Now I can only do all I can to not get an infection in this wound.

Funny thing is that I know people who did everything right and ended up wrong. Thats life I guess. But there is difference between my situation and this. Time will show if I learnt anything from it.
Funny thing is that mother of my recent ltr ex had to change her career in some point in her life after 30. Although she did it, I knew that she was one of the people who told her that she should break up with me :D

[–]LordLoveRocket000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a roller-coaster i dont fancy getting on if ya get me

[–]X--Man28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Live and learn man. You made mistakes, but it sounds like you know what they were and you have a plan. Execute the plan and don't look back.

[–]bbraham13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

Plan sounds solid. Do you suffer from actual depression?

[–]LordLoveRocket0011 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck depression man ruined 4-5 good years in my 20's and i can still feel it lurking in the background waiting to grip its talons into me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anxiety and depression have derailed me

[–]Metrack[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I guess so but I have no idea what to do with it. Never saw doc, I learnt to live with it to some extent. Probably made a mistake some time ago.

[–]bbraham0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Check depression symptoms. Do you habe insomnia? Memory problems, problems concentrating etc.? I would go see a doc.

[–]BusterVadge9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

To me, it simply seems like you don't have a powerful enough goal to motivate yourself to work hard for. If you don't have a mission in life you will fail at it.

[–]Metrack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You may be right but as I said I always have been smart-ass which for me means I worked at 50% of my abilities and ending up well most of the time. I think for people like me its all about the time when you fuck up big. Only then you can truly change anything. Until that point its often slow decline with minor ups and downs.

[–]lolurfucked7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

why do you people speak like it's your privilege to have a girl around?

it's her privilege to have you around

if it's over, she lost

you just lost another replaceable pussy

hint: myth of a good girl is made up

[–]Metrack[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are right but as still purplepill I value good LTR a bit. Its not as much about her as it is about me fucking up not only LTR but me as a person. Also despite my for some of you young age I know what it is to fuck up a deal or partnership. Me and she could probably work this out but cant blame her as much as I want.
Throughout recent 2 years I become only memory of man she met and loved and only doubtful promise of the best version of myself.

[–]lolurfucked0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

us trp guys tend to be too hard on ourselves. i had an LTR of 3 years, i was a better man after she met me but they still tend to leave when a better option comes along, that's what she did and rationalized to herself perfectly. u should already know not to take woman's "love" seriously, it's not for you, it's for whatever she's getting at the moment.

forget it, move on, be glad it happened.

[–]Stupyyy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude you are 24 not 74, calm down.

[–]CaptainBW2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) I assume your degree will be something tech related, perhaps Comp Sci. I advise you grind out on some books related to one specific programming language before heading back to school. I see you're learning JavaScript...which is what I initially did for the same reasons as you, however I'd say learn a true Object Oriented language. It will force you to appreciate a computer more.

2) It's in human nature to waste time on meaningless, dopamine filled activities. Once you re-train your brain to seek pleasure in your accomplishments, you'll have actual free time for these relaxing activities. Matter of fact you'll crave it. "Oh, I just worked really hard on my textbook for 6 pomodoros (look up this up), I'm beat and can relax with a beer or bowl of tree" or whatever. Hack your dopamine system. I also suggest keeping a personal journal. I've done so for the past two years and it's been so fulfilling for my soul and my productivity.

3) I follow the GreySkull program at the moment, and for diet I follow LeanGains. That utilizes Intermittent Fasting, it fits my schedule well. Been life changing for productivity actually.

4) Degree or new job, pick one. The degree will help your job prospects and once it's over, it's over. Although learning never stops. You have an IT background, testing for some certificates should be a breeze and that will also open doors up. But experience trumps that.

[–]gitpullhoes2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Software engineer, 25 here, your post resonates with me 100%.

I was a D1 athlete and looked like a god all my youth, and around 23 I stopped gymming thinking I was “above that”. I got comfortable at my job. Lost my old physique, lost some of my game, work skills were not too up to date for Facebook/Google/Amazon.

Everything started getting better once I started gymming again, and employer starting letting so many people go, I told myself “I’m only gonna be young for so long”. 25 feels pretty old lol

  1. Finish college
  2. You don’t have to ‘cut’ meaningless things. I smoked weed all day and got thru Berkeley, still smoke weed before work. And drink heavily. As long as you gym and finish ur obligations, do what u want on ur free time.

3.Keep gymming

4.Learn Javascript and ReactJS, Google “Nodejs full stack”

[–]theaskingdude13373 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Good plan. Sry for my English

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck you with your english.

Sorry for my English.

[–]theaskingdude13374 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hahaha can't stop laughing

[–]Metrack[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is my longest text which is public online. Tried to make a good impression. Sorry for my English :D

[–]alembicBeatsFbx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice. Sorry for my English

[–]CristianoRonaldoSi1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For video games, I don't even turn on my gaming pc (or console) if I have stuff to do on my list. Once I finish I reward myself and play fortnite or wow with my boys. If I turn on my pc before finishing my list, I am doomed because there is now way I'm going to stop playing to finish my todo list. Learned the hard way because I would negotiate with my self saying ah let me play 1 hour and then finish my list.... nope. But it took a while for me to figure myself out. But I am never quiting video games for good. It is a hobby I really enjoy why the F would I quit something I love. Moderate it and use it as a reward system, like giving treats to a dog when he does well

[–]Pascolino 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

You're just a kid. Keep in mind that you're getting a lot more RP time than many men do. Just don't go back to sleep. Enjoy your life.

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No, man. He ain't a kid no more. Where I am from, you become a man from 15 with of course proper guidance.

[–]CaptainBW-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well where exactly are you from where the brain matures at 15? Because it doesn't. You're emotionally a child until you're like 25 when your prefrontal cortex reaches maturity. Granted that's not an excuse, it's simply the truth.

[–]hazelstein-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Maturity doesn't come with age, comes with experience. Some people are better at absorbing advice and avoiding mistakes. I don't think one is emotionally a child until he is a grown ass man. Emotionally a child = a child below 15. After 15, A boy experience all type of stuff till he finally becomes a man.

[–]CaptainBW0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well it’s not about what you think, is it? Because as a man, you are obligated to seek the truth, and the truth is that a person’s brain doesn’t completely develop until 25. Why else do you think so many of the posts in this sub are complete shit? Hell, even most men past 25 are immature to a certain degree. I agree with you in a way, in that people mature at different rates...but to say everyone should be a man at 15 years old is completely ridiculous, and if you really believe that then you’re not the brightest of the bunch, and are no different than a woman basing your rationale on feelings.

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well of course. facts tell that 25 is the age. But I have met and seen many guys who are really mature but their age is not passed 20.

"Why else do you think so many of the posts in this sub are complete shit? Hell, even most men past 25 are immature to a certain degree" DAMN TRUUE

[–]ohRyZze0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you me? Exactly the same happened to me. 2 fucking times. First in 2018 when my gf broke up with me because i got way too comfortable. Starting in 2019 i worked my way up through hardcore depression and things started to look great again until i stopped trying again.

I wont make that mistake 3 times. When you get what you want the work isn't over. Thats where the real work starts, to beat the comfort and keep working on yourself

[–]bourbonhipster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are way too young to be crying about your life being over.

Comfort precedes complacency which makes you non-competitive. This dulls our survival edge, makes us less attractive and less successful. Competition keeps us strong.

Now that you have a goal again maybe you'll rediscover your drive.

From there it's a matter of consistency over time.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I hear you

[–]Ninokun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All u say is basically bullshit. this subreddit isnt called Finance and Monkmode. its called the Redpill. it has nothing to do with being the best in the rat race. cause that is what u do ur deep in the ratrace. Theredpill philosophy is about men surviving in a feminist world. how to take back how to behave. that includes being manly and embracing masculinity like taking care of your body. it doesnt mean to become the next zyzz and and a top level engineer. destroy what makes u unhappy. Being a welder living on a farm can be the life. as well as many others. ur not redpill. also a med student as a gf sounds horrible

[–]Oh_FuFu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

JS is your answer

[–]daymi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Finish your education. It's important. I just compare the no-degree-holders with the degree-holders in my friend circle... and it's like they are in different worlds. The degree-holders never had to look for work. Ever. What they do is they choose where to go in their career. The non-degree-holders get fired for stupid things like not coming back from lunch on time.

So just make global progress - nobody is after you, so you can also finish it slowly. But do finish it. The piece of paper is worth it.

Also, you are young. Don't sweat it.

Awareness is half the battle. And you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, which is more than I can say about the vast majority of my acquaintances. As soon as you are aware, you can say "STOP" and/or distract yourself from falling into bad habits again--it's doable.

Also, I'm in my 30s and my hands shake like you wouldn't believe. Who successfully solders 30 pin SMD surface mount chips with 0.1 mm pin distance by hand anyway? Me, that's who. Fuck off, biology.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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