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Wife calls me gay for wanting anal...proper response

by SoggyTrain | April 30, 2019 | askMRP

16 upvotes

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Pretty much sums it up. We have done it 4 years ago pre kids, but not since. I know calling a guy gay is a shit test, but wanted to know how to properly diffuse this next time without DEERing.


Post Information
Title Wife calls me gay for wanting anal...proper response
Author SoggyTrain
Upvotes 16
Comments 55
Date 30 April 2019 04:53 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236723
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bj5mlw/wife_calls_me_gay_for_wanting_analproper_response/
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Comments

[–]simbarlionRed Beret33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy

Take the poison out of the insult.

"Maybe I am but I'm stuck with your ass"

Don't let mommy hurt your feelings.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol that's funny

[–]coinbaserep65 points66 points  (2 children) | Copy

I ask my wife for anal last night. She said she would this weekend. I’m excited it will be my first time. She promised she would be gentle

[–]jenovajunkie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ahh HAHAHAHAAHA you're such an asshole hahahahaha.

[–]C_Till0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You earned this

[–]Dialerstring19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

WISNIFG “I want anal”. “No, I’m not interested in head. I want anal.” “I can see how you may think I’m gay but I want anal.” “Yes, my uncut cock is limp and it has a 6 centimeter rip in the foreskin but I want anal”

Some chicks have to be prepped for anal and I wouldn’t discuss it beforehand. Maybe six pack her and see how she responds.

[–]NoCoast829 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you read this and didnt laugh go read When I Say No... again. Good work man

[–]go-RED-go12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

Never talk about anal if you're not having sex at the moment and she's not really horny. Never talk about how she enthusiastically gave you anal in June 2014. She will just rewrite history and paint you as selfish jerk or pervert or gay or whatever. Well, you should be a selfish pervert but dont be gay though.

Start by touching her butthole when she's about to cum to get her link the two. Next time get her realy horny, start playing with her ass and then stick it in. Just don't ram it in like an idiot and use some lube, saliva, peanut butter or something.

[–]Dialerstring5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

And don’t use crunchy peanut butter either!! It’s a butch trying to piss out peanuts..

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Based on my experience, I’d advise against saliva alone, go with a lot of lube. “Tore that ass up” is kinda funny when it’s a metaphor for caveman sex, not so much when it’s literal & she can’t walk or sit for days.

[–]doohicker1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

peanut butter

Ha. Not sure if joking...or serious..

[–]FoxShitNasty836 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be sensible and check for nut allergies, safety first!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You make it sound like it just slides right in without some work. I can fit a few fingers but my dick doesn't fit regardless of how much lube I use.

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Then she's clenching.

​

Her ass could shit out a fucking tuna can. Your dick will fit if she wants it to.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Last few times she cried. Faking or actually hurting herself by clenching?

[–]Tbonesupreme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably actually hurting herself - or, it could make her feel like a whore.

[–]go-RED-go0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you have a Thunder Cock, I don't.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando27 points28 points  (4 children) | Copy

She's not calling you gay because you want anal. She's calling you gay because you are a faggot.

​

If you weren't a faggot, she'd let you fuck her up the ass till you nearly came, then suck your shit covered dick until you blew your load down the back of her throat.

​

So the real question is not - why won't she let me do anal? The real question you should ask yourself, is what is it about me that makes me such a faggot? You have no post history, so I'm not even going to attempt this one, but I guarantee that you are fucking yourself in your own ass somewhere in some or all aspects of your life and personal development.

​

Figure that one out, go fix it, then watch her gladly spread her ass cheeks for you as she says "fuck me in the ass, Daddy".

[–]hack3geRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

So coincidental that for every question the answer is always it’s your fault - go figure....

[–]mrpCamper2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

A little bit more colorful than necessary but... nonetheless correct! He is not going to have a correct response to his wife for being denied anal. The response should be directed internally.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The response should be directed internally.

Anal usually is.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

For Beta they make rules, for Alpha they make exceptions.

BTW, she would have an ass full of cum on a first date with Chris Hemsworth.

[–]SelectAirline6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just say no homo and you're good.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Best thing I have probably ever felt sexual wise was having my prostate milked by my GF.

Neither of us had done it before. Learned together. 10/10 would recommend.

Now we are both anal sluts.

[–]Dialerstring0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Echo!!!! Damn I’m gay...

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You were supposed to write a post on anal training. Do you ever read your reddit mail?

[–]Cloudy_Pirate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He wrote one as a comment in this post

But it should really be its own post.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you ever read your reddit mail?

I do not know what that is.

But, I honestly did not think you were serious. You really want me to make a top level post to MRP about anal training?

I dont know man.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

People have the ability to send mail direct to each other via Reddit. If you were on a desktop version it would be the little envelope at the top right of your screen. Not sure on mobile (which I assume you're mostly on). I had agreed to have you do an anal training post for 60 DoD (last week), but it's cool.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

So... you're talking about sex and this came up or you start paving the way during and she stopped you mid act?

My wager is you're attempting to negotiate beforehand.

I remember back when I was a dumbass and talked about it beforehand and an exceptionally honest woman told me "oh, most guys just go for it".

You'll know then without needing much wit.

[–]jerrymcguiver4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

I got tired of digging out pieces of shit like a monkey flinging poop onto baby wipes. So i bought her a water enema kit and she's used it once. All the other times since i still dig out shit by hand otherwise she will say no to anal if attempted to talk about prior to event.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

...and this is why I think anal is overrated.

If you want to go spelunking in the brown eye cavern, you need to have a thick skin to typical encounters with the inhabitants.

She's calling you a fag because it keeps the magic of her belief in her body being a temple solid while getting her out of some purging ritual beforehand.

How about don't ass-fuck her after burrito night or a chili cookoff?

[–]Fucty_Artsy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Make sure she went to the toilet on the same day.

[–]jerrymcguiver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She goes 4-5 times a day from lactose intolerance and or IBS. It's just a minefield no matter what. Yet it still reels me in.

[–]jerrymcguiver3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Last time I started to stick my dick in her ass. "Get out of my ass!". "I will when I'm finished". She didn't say no and enjoyed it more than i did.

Time before that I stuck my finger in her ass. "Get out of my ass!". "I'm not even in there yet".

[–]jenovajunkie1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lol what the fuck, what a dumb thing to say. Your wife had birthed your kids, tell me how that works out. It's not gay to want to fuck female asshole, just to let you know..

Tell her "I know, look what you did. I was a happy heterosexual male and now you I want to fuck my wife's asshole. 100% percent a homo thing to do, as long as you know I'm the man in this homosexual relationship".

Or if you're not that goofy, just accept she is calling you gay and fuck her asshole, she didn't say no; maybe she is doing that to get you mad?

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Talking, so much autistic talking.

[–]jenovajunkie0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What? Do you not have girls who play outrageous games in your life, cause all the females do in mine.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That says more about you than it does about them.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ever get a tech support help from someone over seas? Of course you have. Did you get frustrated when the tech Support guy couldn't get off his script? even to the point when you knew he was going to make some stupid comment about the weather knowing full well he was likely half a world away.

What ever response you get you won't be able to execute. This isn't some PUA class where we give you a script and you run with it. You wouldn't know how to improvise, or break the script. What if she asks about the weather or some stupid shit.

How I would answer isn't how you would. You've fucked her in the ass once she's all willing to do it again but you have to be man enough to take it. Maybe that's what she wants. BELIEVE ME women want to be taken. They want the feeling of complete powerlessness.

Maybe she just wants you to man the fuck up in your own life.

I don't know. Either way you are on notice. Fix it.

[–]B0bTerwilliger1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

A&A = I must be. I married YOU didn't I?

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit... that must be the reason I'm attracted to women with short hair... (Run away)... Come back with scissors!

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you should fuck a dude, just to be sure.

​

She's probably right.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You want anal?

Faggot.

[–]SoggyTrainCucked by machines[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just want to say thank you for everyone who responded, I take no offense. I know I'm just some unknown asshole here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Agree and amplify

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ive been w/ plenty of chicks that will mention something about anal during a non-sexual time. Usually that they aren’t into it. But then I put them through anal training by connecting her orgasms to me touching or penetrating her ass and suddenly they’re asking for it. I’ll even use reverse psychology and tell them “nah, not tonight. You’re not ready for it anyway”

[–]Dialerstring0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

https://www.donovansharpe.com/ Scroll down



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