I was watching NFL today. You know, three hours of domestic violence PSAs and Breast Cancer Awareness moments. Then, i saw the latest ploy from Team Western Vagina.

A new commercial from Southwest Airlines, which played over ten times throughout the game. In the commercial, a young woman is seen dancing at four separate weddings. Then, we are told that Southwest is offering $75 one way tickets, just in time for "wedding season."

Oh fuck, where do I start?

1.) The ads are a "hint hint" to the American male (conveniently played during Sunday football). Hey fellas, you know that girl you been banging? The one whose been passed around more times than a joint at a Grateful Dead concert. The one with zero domestic skills, tons of credit card debt, and a deep seeded hatred of men. It's time for you to wife her up, pal! Forget about the Bears versus the Pats. You have a life to ruin! And it's your own.

2.) There is no fucking "wedding season." I don't care if it exists somewhere or not. Marry when and where you want (preferably in Nepal), but don't fall for this wedding season crap.

3.) Stop destroying my football games. It's three hours that I get to forget about the world. But bitches have to poke their fucking nose into it and turn it into a Gender Studies symposium. For the love of God, is nothing sacred?

4.) Fuck Southwest. I officially boycott their asses for that.

Special note: any woman or white knight reading this right now, getting ready to call me a misogynist, I offer a preemptive "fuck you."