How do I respond to "Would you still love me if I was fat?"

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May 2, 2019
14 upvotes

My wife (25) hit me (29) up with that a couple of days ago.

She basically asked me how important looks are for me because beauty will eventually fade and she does not care about looks (bullshit).

I mean, she is right, she wont look good with 60. But she can definately look good with 40-50.

I responded with something like "Of course personality makes you love someone but you also need looks to be attracted to that person,"

I hardly doubt that she would give me the same affection if I would gain 100 pounds. How would you respond to that without saying "Yes, your beta husband will love you whatever you do." Or do I just say "yes you are right" because I will keep working on my SMV anyway and she will have to keep up.


Post Information
Title How do I respond to "Would you still love me if I was fat?"
Author skip_legday
Upvotes 14
Comments 35
Date 02 May 2019 10:50 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/236897
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bjtiwc/how_do_i_respond_to_would_you_still_love_me_if_i/
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Comments

[–]donmcde35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife asked me that shortly after we got married too. Without thought I did the disgusted head pull back and without missing a beat said "Fuck no. Why? Are you planning to get fat?" If backpeddling was an olympic event, she would've won gold.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oops, missed this. Yes, this is the answer.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando32 points33 points  (3 children) | Copy

"Would you still love me if I was fat?"

No.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best response.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is by far the best response. One word answer. If she doesn't call you an asshole then you gave the wrong response.

[–]redismyfuture4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not really sure why he had to come ask us for this... Oh wait, it's because he's still scared of mommy.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pressure flip time:

"You planning on getting fat on me?"

Then A&A it for at least a couple days, calling her your "soon-to-be-fat wife," and pointing out all the things she won't be able to do when she's fat in the future. This has to be done in a "teasing her on the playground" kind of way, though, not as some defensive, sniveling, butt-hurt asshat.

That will shut that shit down real quick.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t play these games. Just shrug and say “nope” perhaps laugh at the absurdity of the question. Then change the subject to something interesting. Your answer to her was textbook DEERing and is kinda cringy. Why are you defending yourself over a preference for women that take care of themselves?

[–]thatboyjeff8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I promised to marry you and protect you (and all of that gay shit you say when you get married) but I never promised to remain attracted to you.

Good luck, fatty.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d love you... but I probably wouldn’t be “in love with you” 🤷🏻‍♂️

Whatever you do, you don’t have to answer the question, you’re just asserting that you do value physical attractiveness. Unapologetically

[–]helaughsinhidden3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is different than "do I look fat in this dress?". This is not a shit test.

Would you still love me if I was fat?

FIRST thing I thought of is she's dropping a hint that she is losing attraction for you. Usually a shit test or comfort test has to do with whatever is going on in the moment. That is where the feminine is in her element, not in the "big picture" like men are. She's bringing something up in the future as if she's taken a step back and trying to look at things from a big picture.

Remember what we've learned about not listening to her words, but pay attention to her actions. This seems more like she's trying to drop a very strong hint that she's losing or lost attraction for you u/skip_legday. You are probably doing some major beta stuff that, to her, is on par with what she would consider equally as gross as her getting really fat. Perhaps she sees your fat lazy ass sitting around the house playing video games, watching porn, letting the lawn get overgrown, drinking too much, or maybe you aren't just skipping leg day, but the whole gym.

Consider a couple variations of her questions with other unnattractive behaviors on it

  • Would you still love me if I .... stopped cleaning the house?
  • Would you still love me if I .... became an alcoholic?
  • Would you still love me if I .... acted slutty towards other men?
  • Would you still love me if I .... stopped showering and shaving my legs?
  • Would you still love me if I .... started to dress like a homeless person?
  • Would you still love me if I .... spent all of our savings on lottery tickets?

I'll concede that it could be a comfort test or a shitty-comfort test. Perhaps even one of her girlfriends packed on a some pounds and her man cheated. However I think it's a big mistake to take what she is saying here at face value as a legitimate request to gain your permission to get fat or to just gauge your reaction.

I seriously would reset and examine yourself and ask a few questions.

What kind of blue pill crap have you actually identified in your life and eliminated? How much of the sidebar and books have you read? What have you learned from them?

How much of your actions speak of being an alpha male? What is your mission? Are you attractive? How good is your game? How do you dress?

How fat are you? What are your lifts? How often are you in the gym? How many months until you reach the peak physical shape you want to be in?

Why aren't you posting in OYS?

[–]InChargeManRed Beret7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wow, that was a lot of thinking for something that doesn't require a lot of thinking.

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

a lot of thinking

Yeah, maybe..... I use phasing like that when trying to make a point with my kids when they do a crappy job with chores or not getting along. Could have lead me down my own experiences rather than the average person.

u/skip_legday

What's her tone? What's the context? Is she walking in front of you while you slurp Mt. Dew, eat Doritos, and play Fortnite or is she covered on chocolate cake, crying, and grabbing her love handles?

[–]duhhhh15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sure babe. I'd love you like a sister ... unless you become a bitch too. You wouldn't do that, right?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Fat chicks give the best head.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll have to take your word for it.

[–]Tbonesupreme4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Their mouths are the most coordinated part of their body.

And yes, they do.

They don't even care if you kiss them. They'll blow you just to avoid having to take their clothes off.

[–]Dialerstring1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm I can't argue this.

[–]FoxShitNasty833 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Was??? (Grinning)

[–]Dialerstring4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. love is conditional.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I responded with something like

I mean... you actually answered this like it was a real question which is spergy.

The only way to answer ridiculous questions is with ridiculous answers.

[–]Thor-Loki-14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"that will never happen, right?"

[–]themerovingian012 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope!

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would you still love me if I was fat?

Actually, I'm glad you brought this up, you need to loose a few...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even in my beta days, when my wife asked me, i quickly and promptly said "no, i dont like fat people"

[–]Tbonesupreme1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think an answer is needed.

Just give it a second like you're imagining her being fat, and give her a "yuck" face.

[–]H2orocks3000Probably NAWALTING around1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is research I learned last night showing our beliefs about how implicit attraction beliefs are fixed or can grow and change with the person impacts how we experience them.

I didn’t read too far in it but worth researching.

Also, it’s not about looks to ‘me, if we do what it takes to more or less eat healthy and exercise as part of a lifestyle..... outside that I’m not too concerned as that takes care of it self.

If your not doing this though and doing it together then that’s why.

It’s not about looks. And she is just got some Attatchment anxiety around the biggest insecurity women have - their looks.

The flip side of that,

Will she love you when you feel week. Because if we play in the arena of life- you will know great loss, and catastrophic failure. It’s the price you 💰, but ask your self, are you certain she will love you when you fall apart.

This gets down to intimacy and the kinda relationship you have and how emotionally mature you both are.

[–]sars4451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm just direct.. "no.. And I wouldn't expect you to love me if I was fat either"

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Silica gel for her pussy.

[–]Fritz_Frauenraub1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"who says you aren't phat already?" [/dry humps ass]

[–]themerovingian011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you say yes she'll definitely get fat.



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