I'm an idiot and a complete beta - a warning to others. Is leaving a good idea?

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May 3, 2019

This is both a cry for help and a warning.

Background:- Met this lovely girl, from school. I honestly was just friends with her at first, never anything really sexual. She ends up liking me - apparently she used to rant on the bus about me not asking her out. Basically long story short I ask her out, she says yes. Now bluepill me thinks "Yay!! I'm dating my best friend this is amazing!!"

WRONG - The only reason she fell in love was because of my terrible behaviour. I would never compliment her and I'd pretty much be care-free. The fact I am dating a friend makes breaking up so much harder and there is a social consequence for fucking anything up.

No it's not fucking amazing. Because I was never sexual to begin with I struggle to be sexual. I try kissing her, she turns her cheek. She plays games and tries to make me jealous. She complains about my lack of sexuality whilst she herself behaves awkwardly. I kiss her cheek in the morning, she doesn't smile or anything gives me a simple "ok".

The main warning is:-

  1. Don't date girls that you were never sexual to begin with
  2. Don't date girls that know your friends/social circle
  3. Don't date girls and then start being "nice", this girl kept telling me to be nice - my bluepilled ass fell for it. She doesn't like it.
  4. Don't date girls before you had sex. She's already fulfilled her objective before you have. As a woman she seeks commitment, as a man you seek sex.

I cannot stress this. I thought this girl was some sort of unicorn - I'm a fucking idiot I know. Christian, goes church every Sunday, volunteers in the church to sing and dresses modestly. That shit doesn't matter! They're all the same, just because a horse is painted with black and white stripes doesn't make it a zebra. Just because a girl is all these good things doesn't make her less of a bitch.

Now I am in this position. In a relationship where any form of physical contact is awkward - haven't been told "stop touching me", but she seems not bothered. I will be lying if I said I didn't have one-itis. This girl was a good friend of mine before, the bluepill inside me is saying to wait it out. But I have a feeling I should leave.

Thank you for reading this. I pray you don't become a fucking idiot like me. The redpill is the truth and nothing but the truth. Women will want to change you into this beta, and then they will crush you.

Post Information
Title I'm an idiot and a complete beta - a warning to others. Is leaving a good idea?
Author BigFinding4
Upvotes 95
Comments 54
Date 03 May 2019 04:13 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/237012
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bka96n/im_an_idiot_and_a_complete_beta_a_warning_to/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betaunicornthe red pillthe blue pill

[–]Malactha73 points74 points  (12 children) | Copy

So have you broken up with her yet? It should be easy since there is no chemistry. You have learned many valuable lessons. Life is a learning process. Good luck!

By the way, I was idiot when I was young too.

[–]BigFinding435 points36 points  (11 children) | Copy

I am going to next week - it's our last week of school before we go off on study leave. So after that I will never have to see her again.

This was a major learning experience for me. I read redpill before and I thought it was a bit of bs. But it's 100% true.

[–]Malactha28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent plan, minimial drama this way.

Yes, it is true. Guys have been doing red pill since the beginning of time.

[–]hatefulreason15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

If u want to break up, do it now. No pleasantries, no "im sorry but we cant make this work as i am going abroad to continue my studies, no blue pill ending.

Tell her you ve had enough of her shit and then no contact. Make her feel bad about herself as she should. Even if she hates you for it you ll come up being more respected.

Ps. I wish i could take my own advice

[–]xddm26538 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

shit, just ghost her after school ends. No break up needed

[–]coachhouse6911 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Your gut instinct was right. There's a middle ground between being clingy and being red pill. Sounds like you havent had a ton of sexual relationships so this one is understandably awkward. Redpill is bs. It's not the way to go. Stifling your personality, putting walls up and running at the first sign of imperfection isn't going to make you happy. Go easy on the clingy shit and be yourself. The girl liked you from the beginning, remember? Be that dude

[–]grimmjoww8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

He has oneitis. He needs to leave, approach other girls and work on himself. Go back into your cave troll.

[–]coachhouse69 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

"Working on yourself" is what you do when you're scared to fail. Relationships aren't perfect. They require sacrifice and selflessness. Don't be clingy. That's literally all the relationship advice you need

[–]ImNotSue8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Working on yourself is what you can do when you want to succeed. What you do because you value yourself, your health, your fitness, your self esteem, your well being, and by extension your value in others eyes. The fear of failure (consequence) and the desire to succeed (goal) are not one and the same.

There is merit in some other portions of your advice, but shooting down someone's self improvement and shaming them as being cowardly is not among them.

[–]blackswan2whiteswan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is a women or troll. She took the deep side of 69

[–]ugluk11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This girl is wasting your time, full ignore right away - no need to say anything. Women enjoy wasting men's time for some reason, you're her backup plan, beta-orbiter. You will regret every second you waste, if you don't do it. Always remember, if they are not giving it to you, they are giving it to someone else, as they have needs themselves. Friendzoning deprives you of contact with other women, while she's fucking Chad/Tyrone. It is highly immoral on their part and will lead to WAATGM down the line.

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Whoo! I did the same thing when I was younger. Rough doing that to a friend. But I only talk to one female friend(one of those 2 or 3 you'll meet in your entire life) from school, so I don't feel too bad about it. She's probably fine now lol

[–]HotHead12139 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are you in primary school?

[–]imPwP10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Was searching for this.

[–]rnsbrum35 points36 points  (3 children) | Copy

A woman will forgive you for being aggressive, but she will never forgive you for being shy. Just dominate her, say that you do not care. Stare at her eyes, bring her closer and giver her a kiss. Take charge of the situation. Do not ask her "Do you want to go outside?", You simply say, "Lets go outside". Honestly, since you gonna end this you got nothing to lose, try and escalate to sex, its not that hard. Fuck her brains out and then leave. You can look up some of RooshV's content, he has some good strategies that will help you go on about this.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly this. These are skills that you have to develop overtime with practice.

I'm 31 now and still implementing this is a 24 year old I'm seeing.

Can't believe the shit I get away with.

Roosh and Blackdragon has some great information about Girl's Nights and what to do when she refuses sex.

[–]hatefulreason2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving this comment for when i stop being an idiot :)

[–]umizumiz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not a bad idea, use this time as practice...

[–]GucciGangBucks19 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy

Had a similar experience in high school. My best friend was a girl and ended up getting feelings for me. She was “the Hottest girl in the school” in a lot of guys terms and the fact she liked me was a big deal in weird HS popularity scale. Anyways she had a boyfriend and she was genuinely just my best friend at the time. Of course, she was very good looking and I would of had sex with her but I never had feelings. She eventually broke up with her boyfriend and I took her on a date knowing she liked me and her friends bagging me to ask her out. First time I ever did any nice shit for her was on that day. I must of fucked up somehow and She then later got back together with her ex and I cut her off totally for like two years. When I ignored her it drove her crazy because she was use to guys falling all over her and I wouldn’t fold. Over time, her boyfriend broke up with her again and she comes chasing after me again like I’m some kind of second choice. I constantly denied her which made her crazy. Eventually, she would fuck one of my closest friends to try and get my attention. Very weird AWALT. I didn’t care. Evidently she calls me “the one who got away” now.

Funny shit looking back. Probably 7 years ago now.

[–]infamous32381 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitches just want what they can’t have.

[–]_new-dawn0x20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This makes me angry. Stupid bitches.

[–]GucciGangBucks3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It made me mad for awhile. Knowing Red Pill I see stuff like this all the time now as well as understand it. Where I messed up was actually caring because I viewed her as a genuine friend. If she was just another girl and not my friend things would of been different.

Later on, her having sex with one of my best friend obviously just trying to get at me for constantly denying her also was a deal breaker lol. Still friends with the guy after that too I didn’t care which I think drove her Nuts.

[–]dontbeanasshole77713 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

How about you grow some balls and figure out what you want. Do you want to be sexual about her or not?

Check her out. If you want to suck on those nipples and clit, feel her cunt around your dick then plan a make out session.

Do your usual shit for 10 minutes then shut the fuck up, look her deep in the eyes for 3 seconds and think about all the nasty stuff you want to do with her. No shame, no remorse. That should set your ego straight.

Now stop looking in her eyes and focus on her lips. Juicy and red. Move in for a kiss, let your lips touch first before putting your hand behind her neck and gently but firmly pull her closer. Now start actually kissing her.

Ok, this is turning into erotic story,

TLDR she wants you to treat her like a man would treat a woman. Instead of doing that you come here telling us how women are bad.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Get a tail plug in her too.

[–]dontbeanasshole7770 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Interesting, how would you go about it?

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's going to take time for OP's situation. I'd definitely do a reset with a soft next for a few days and reenter.

For a lady I am seeing... I set the frame of out relationship early on. One day I had some blindfolds left over from a college course I taught and decided to tie her down. This grew over time to include other things I never thought I could do in my 20s.

OP just has to get beyond " a peck on a cheek " if not its just a good practice experience for the next one.

[–]mrpoopistan6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Okay, this demands some serious revisions . . .

Don't date girls that you were never sexual to begin with

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

The actual lesson is escalate early enough that you don't become basically her gay best friend.

Don't date girls that know your friends/social circle

If you're looking to game hard all over the place, this is good advice. If you're looking for a LTR, social circle is the best starting point, but you better establish yourself as the upper-tier of the group.

Don't date girls and then start being "nice"

This one's a winner.

Don't date girls before you had sex.

Do people even use the word "date" anymore? Other than that, I won't complain too much with this one.

Christian, goes church every Sunday, volunteers in the church to sing and dresses modestly. That shit doesn't matter! They're all the same, just because a horse is painted with black and white stripes doesn't make it a zebra. Just because a girl is all these good things doesn't make her less of a bitch.

When you're done having a good cry, take note of the fact that sociopaths love churches. If all women are like that, then church is a good hunting ground. Less competition as long as there isn't a young pastor there rolling game.

I try kissing her, she turns her cheek. She plays games and tries to make me jealous. She complains about my lack of sexuality whilst she herself behaves awkwardly. I kiss her cheek in the morning, she doesn't smile or anything gives me a simple "ok".

She's rolling girl game on you if she wants you to be jealous. You're reading this whole thing wrong. She wants you to take charge.

This situation is completely recoverable, but you need to become more assertive.

The main issue I see is potential incongruence between your previous persona and any assertiveness. A small blow-up might do the job. Something that delineates before and after while feeding the hamster a bit and providing context for the assertiveness.

Jealousy game is usually an invitation for aggressiveness.

I could see two paths here. Path one is a playful one where you tell her, "Get that ass over here." If she's otherwise fairly submissive, that's likely the play. Path two is expressing a bit of anger. Basically, "If you mean to be with me, get that ass over here." That's a little more of a gambit.

But, if you're ready to pull the plug, I say, fuck it. Take a moment to turn the whole thing into an experiment.

[–]xddm26535 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Less competition as long as there isn't a young pastor there rolling game.

Ah, father Chad strikes again

[–]BigFinding40 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Before entering a relationship. I would flirt with other girls in front of her, I would occasionally flirt with her. I had a 0 fucks given attitude. I however never did anything SEXUAL to her.

Now. I am behaving like a bitch. I don't follow her around, I kinda lost the 0 fucks given attitude. She's complained that I don't act like her boyfriend, but she never wants to be alone with me. This girl is seriously just wasting my time I think.

Deffo a learning experience and 10/10 don't regret this at all. Failure is the learning curve. I'm 18 btw if that helps.

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your life, man. I just figure if you're done, that's a fun time to run some experiments.

[–]Startlivingfornow3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You haven’t taken or understood the pill.

The state of your relationship is your fault. You’ve got to change yourself to get what you want.

It doesn’t matter if you’re dating your high school sweet heart or Kendal fucking Jenner. They are both girls. The way they act is a reflection of your leadership as a man

And no one said this shit is easy man. They will test you until the very fucking end.

If there is no chemistry, fair enough. But if the relationship stinks because you’re being too awkward and playing into her games, then you’ve got to acknowledge you made the relationship stink and move on.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

you already know the answer. leave.

[–]JorgitoEstrella1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t get it, you said you are not sexual towards her, so what is the complaint about?

[–]roughback1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She might be a lesbian but needs to keep up appearances that she's straight. She needs a boyfriend but doesn't have the sexual urge for men. It explains why she was loudly complaining about you not dating her, and then she goes cold in private while still telling everyone that you are her man.

Just simply ask her if she's into you, and tell her if not you want her to be happy, even if she's not with you. Ask her what's up, why is she acting like you and her are related.

Show her the door so that she can walk through it or stop the games.

She'll say that you are better as friends, and you can focus your attention on the next. If she doesn't, then you get the intimacy you should be getting. Not so much fucking but at least some of the things that two people who want to fuck each other do.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sucks to be you man

[–]snaptogrid1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s not her fault you’re gaming her so badly. From some of your descriptions it sounds like she’s laying all kinds of bratty-young-girl shit on you. She might well be trying to get you to be more decisive and manly. So why not try doing a better job with her before breaking it off?

Sylvester_Sterone’s tips in this thread are good ones. Laugh at her fondly, like she’s your younger sister. Announce decisively what you want to do instead of asking her about it. Don’t mistreat her, of course, but be confident with her, and take what you want from her. If she responds by getting triply bratty, don’t let it upset you. Just ghost her for a few days. Don’t explain anything when you see her again, but go back to being confident and lightly mocking. Swagger a little. Girls sometimes throw brat attacks to get what they want, other times because they’re turned on. Remember that she doesn’t really know any more about the Mystery of Sex than you do. So don’t be afraid of her coldness or games-playing. Welcome them, move into them, and give yourself permission to fuck around with her a bit. Hey, that’s a big part of the fun of being involved with a girl.

She might well turn out to be more trouble than it’s worth, but how are you going to know if you don’t give it a try?

[–]_iisu1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seconding this.

[–]momomotorboat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Leaving is one of the most powerful moves you can make. Off the top of my head I can think of 7 exes who I fucked more after I left than when I was committed.

The social consequence is a blessing. It'll help you suss out the friends from the quasi-friends. Take none of it personally. Appreciate any of the friends who show you loyalty. Appreciate knowing that others weren't.

Go lift, but lift well. All the info you need to get better physically, lift properly and have the right diet to support it are all on this website. Re-direct the energy you're spending worrying about her into your work/school/endeavors/life.

Oneitis feels like weening yourself off an addiction. There is an adjustment period. Know that it's normal and that you need to stay the course. The process will actually make you stronger. You need to talk about those feelings, come here.

Good luck.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

Is there a question in here?

[–]BigFinding40 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Is leaving this girl a good idea?

This was a bit of a rant and warning, I just felt like sharing my shitty experience.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten8 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

You are physically awkward. This isn't a relationship

[–]BigFinding42 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I feel like it's not me. I tried kissing her, but she turned her cheek. When I kissed her cheek in the morning she didn't really care. I asked her if she wanted too go outside, she said no.

Technically it is one since she tells everyone I'm her boyfriend - but it's not a relationship i know. This is my first one and I fucking hate it already.

My idiot ass didn't set a sexual frame before and now it's just too late

[–]Sylvester_Sterone2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

How long have you been dating her? How old are you?

Don't let this bother you. When you see her again, go in for a kiss. If she pulls the hard to get routine... laugh it off cause girls are only "cute and silly." Leave for a little bit.


This is called a soft next. Consider it a reset for your frame. What do you have to lose?

Become unavailable for a day or two; go to the gym or some other social activity without her. Study some ROOSH and Blackdrage and the SIDEBAR. DON'T answer your texts.

When the time is up hit her up. She might be a little confused just say you were busy.

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was very disappointed when I clicked "enable dark mode". Merely changed the color scheme. I was hoping I'd get the evil advice by doing that.

[–]TheImperialRight0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That'd be good advice if he wasn't a virgin who hasn't even kissed his own "gf" yet. He doesn't need a soft reset. He needs to take charge, which is what he should have done the moment he found out this female friend was into him.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As mentioned above take charge and when she resists... soft next. Then come back at it again.

If she doesn't resits then don't soft next and continue. Simple.

[–]DerpJungler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No offense but the whole story sounds like some primary school shit. I read your comments and picture a 10 year old with his little girlfriend having puberty phase issues.

Im gonna be blunt here, but figure your shit out and stop excusing yourself through her behavior. If you keep being a beta then no wonder why she avoids you. Fuck, i dont even know why she wanted to go out with you. This is controversial: A true male can be sexual with any girl, that hes attracted to at least.

Show her how a testosterone-driven male works or get the fuck out and start figuring shit out before entering a "LTR".

P.S: Don't even mention sexual frame when you obviously never had sex to begin with.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to get away from the idea of seeking relationships and move towards seeking harems. You do not have the skills to maintain a dedicated relationship until you can balance multiple chicks at one time. There are important skills that you need to sharpen. You are not ready for a relationship. Stop talking to her, cold turkey, no interaction whatsoever. Avoid her. Start executing on the material available here so you can build yourself into someone who can be the object of a woman's desire in the first place, not just a guy she will tolerate. You deserve better treatment than this. What she's giving you, you're not interested in. Full stop.

[–]TheImperialRight-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I tried kissing her, but she turned her cheek.

This was after she was already your GF? Should have lightly slapped her cheek and turned her back to you and kissed her. That was a test, and you failed.

[–]kayfab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]methodicmelodic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read the last sentence in Borat’s voice

[–]Terdmuffin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is asktrp not deardiarytrp

[–]_iisu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The only thing wrong about the situation is that you failed shit tests after shit tests.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Either do the dread game or leave

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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