Appreciate everyone who takes time to respond to an internet stranger about his life, since most of my friends assume that the cliche "My girl isn't like the others" is actually true. I have no one to vent to that will look at this in a redpill POV. I'll try not to write too big of a wall. Well, shit

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TL;DR - Moved from USA to Slovakia, spun 3 plates for 5 months 1 of them became a GF for 2 months. Inexperienced virgin 23 yr old, submissive, her first bf, took vcard, taught her lots of things. Lost abundance mentality without plates, became too available but still maintained cocky funny with comfort, projected insecurities onto her even asked her if she was cheating(No signs from her). She lost attraction quickly and i started to hear excuses, school, work,busy, moving, etc. Got the "I feel bad and sometimes think you need a GF that will give you more time which i can't give" Tried to save relationship by being Bluepill but it was mentally draining forcing it and i ended it. Plus she's moving to a different city in a month, and the UK in 3 months. Yes i know, sidebar, I'm trying to figure out how i exactly fucked up replaying everything in my head and not repeat this in future relationships..

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Backround: Moved from the US to Slovakia over the summer. In a few months established 3 solid plates through bar game and Tinder. After 5 months of plates 1 of them, from Tinder, became an LTR. She's 23 i'm 27. Us exclusive lasted 2 months but lets just use LTR anyway. I definitely didn't screen for LTR compatibility properly because i was caught up in the feelz, spark and plates. Girl with submissive nature, i was her first BF, introverted, only 4 friends in our city, took her virginity, had to teach her how to kiss well, blow me, she was even shy about me looking at her pussy and asshole lol. But very shitty basic communicator and throughout told me that she was bad with expressing emotions, her favorite words were "I dont know" , example: while my plates were open about things like their period my LTR would make it into a riddle and expect me to read her mind. Also she's moving an hour away in a month, and to the UK in 3 months.

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Put most important parts in Bold.

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Phase 1: Started spinning my ex as a plate along with 2 others while still going on dates with new girls, dgaf, abundance all time high, cocky funny, passing shit tests, etc. 1 Month in she asked if i was seeing other girls to which i responded honestly, yes we aren't in a relationship. She wasn't happy but i ignored it and i even showed her my Tinder matches. She would also throw shit at me like, "How would you feel if some other guy took my virginity?" I would respond, "id say congrats". 2 months in i took her virginity, 2 roses, airbnb, special night, etc. Day after she told me her roommates were asking her questions, is it serious? do you like him? etc and she responded with "I dont know". Anyway over the next months i'd consistently see her 2 times a week, she would initiate 90% of plans and even asked if she was being too overbearing. We would text maybe 2 times a day and she would share things she did or ask me what to watch on Netflix standard bullshit. I realize now i was usually too readily available despite seeing others. Slowly i stopped going on dates with new girls and saw my other plates less since i really enjoyed my Ex the most. Every month she would randomly bring up that she doesn't like me seeing other girls and asking if we're a pair telling me how much i mean to her. To which i would just say "I'm a man it takes time for me to decide". Finally after the 5th month of her asking i decided to go exclusive since our dynamic really became BF/GF, i guess you could say i became emotionally attached months earlier but didn't fully show it since i had options.

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Phase 2: Exclusive i still maintained my cocky funny game with some comfort mixed in, even talked about how hot her roommate is and if she's open to a threesome, while still being her emotional tampon and listening to her world and problems, keeping my problems to myself. Making plans transitioned into me initiating the majority of everything and she listed out her schedule or just completely went along with my lead, never had an issue and she was in her final year of Uni during weekends and worked fulltime. The only differences i noticed in our interactions was that i started to text her more than she did since i didn't have plates anymore, but in person everything was smooth. She would sometimes randomly bring up our future and how i see it panning out since she was moving away to which i would respond "Im not thinking about it, things are good and well take it a day at a time" or i told her about how my friend had a 5 Month LDR and when she came back home it made them a stronger pair both to which she seemed satisfied with. Then she had 2 weeks off from work where she said well be seeing each other more often. These 2 weeks we only saw each other 2 times, weekend before the 1st week and 2nd week once and i feel made my own hamster spin and become an insecure paranoid beta due to other shit. 1st Week we had plans for Tuesday and Friday, Tuesday i got the 'busy with school work' excuse then she admitted to having finished her school work and having gone drinking with her girlfriend but should have hit me up instead. It's the first time this had occurred so i just said, "all good it happens, you made a wrong choice :)" While i should have instilled some dread. But then i got the same excuse on Friday and that she doesn't want to sit at home and has to do school work and how shell be super busy finishing her degree till the end of May. So i invited her out with my social circle and then she threw more excuses at me about how she found out this week she has an ulcer and has tons of health tests to do then told me about how her roommates who're a couple of 4 years just broke up this week aswell who she was close with(The GF cheated on her guy and didn't tell him ever) and she apologized for being a shitty girlfriend to which i told her Those are only words babe, once again lol i should have initiated some sort of dread. I feel like she might have started to pull away at this point but idfk. 2nd week i saw her Monday and everything was normal as always, good chemistry, good sex, and no sort of tests from her. Then midweek she went on a hiking trip for a few days with her girlfriend. Even though she was sending me photos of the trip. My hamster was still spinning from the previous week because i realized there is a possibility i could lose this girl and oneitis paranoia set in, i had shitall to do that week because no work, friends busy, so i somehow rationalized that she was seeing other guys behind my back and starting to check her Last Seen on WhatsApp and Instagram.

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Phase 3. This is turning into a novel, jesus sorry guys. She comes back from her trip instantly sets up a day and time for us to hang out at hers, my oneitis paranoia still in full swing i'm chill on the outside but i start doing things like peeking at her phone while she texts. Have sex, things are normal, but my paranoia finally gets the best of me when i think she says someone elses name by mistake instead of mine when she was actually mentioning our inside joke. I totally shut down she notices and keeps asking what's wrong and i ask her "Are you seeing or talking to other guys?" To which she deflects and sarcastically says "Yeah i have 5 other guys, no i'm not seeing anyone else, i wouldn't even have time if i wanted to" I asked her a few more times and she swore on her life that she wasn't. When i look back on it i believe her since she was never paranoid about me using her phone, i never caught her in some wild lie, and except for that week she never flaked. Leaving back home she gave me a kiss and told me to never be jealous or insecure like that ever again please. I left there knowing i probably opened up the flood gates and expected the worst. Over the next 3 weeks or so she definitely cut back texting and i still texted as if it was beginning of the relationship. But even when i told her to come over last second for Netflix or made any sort of plans shed eagerly agree and put up no resistance, she even remembered my grandfather's birthday that i mentioned once. She went to an alcohol festival with me and met my social circle, met my close female friend. At the festival i made sure to tell her that a girl i knew from Tinder had messaged me on Instagram but i ignored it, by my logic it would balance out my total fuck up weeks before. She told me she doesn't get jealous its alright but then proceeded to complain that i was on Instagram the whole time and kept asking "whos that" when girls would pop up on stories. Our final week together mid-April we had plans to see a new movie together, i was late 30 min and when i sat down in the theater i could instantly sense the distance, whole body away from me, closed off. We get back to her apartment and she's "not in the mood" tells me things like she won't have as much time for me , doesn't kiss me like before, and doesn't even wanna cuddle. But i still proceed to tell her that i want to get to know her friends since i hadn't met any of them yet. That pushes some button of hers and she asks me, "Do we have any future? I'm moving away in a few months and going to the UK " At that moment it caught me off guard and whatever frame i had left i feel shattered, i went full beta told her yes of course, that i'd move to the UK with her, some other shit i don't remember and of course asked her again if she was cheating lol. She told me to think about it for a few days. Day later she texts me an essay apologizing she didn't want to make me feel bad, saying how she had a bad day, she wants me to meet her friends, she sees a future in us, but shes under crazy pressure with her degree deadlines that it hurt her when i called them excuses, and how she wants to do things out on the town with me but she has to save money for the UK and she's doesn't want me paying for her blah blah etc. Most important thing she said was Sometimes she feels really bad when she doesnt have money or is too busy and that makes her feel that i should have a better girlfriend that will have more time for me to do things with and she can't be that. I already knew that was her low-key setting the grounds for me to break up with her, but i went to her place full beta and told her id be there for her and didn't care if she was moving away wed make it work. She was fairly emotionless and just said okay but you know we'll only probably see each other once a week now because im really busy. Next day we played board games with her roommate but like her i was already fed up with this. A few days later i went to hers and told her this just wouldn't work, She asked me why i changed my mind so quickly, i was fed up and had to end it for my sanity , that our timing in the relationship was unfortunate with her moving away and i failed as man by showing her how insecure i became. I wasn't expecting much of a response but once again she just said "alright, i'm sad and i told you i have school and work" "I'm going to have to adjust to not having you" She would just not say anything for a while and nod her head thinking saying "i understand" Then she asked me if i was going to unfollow her on instagram and started telling me about her day as if we never broke up, what i was doing for holidays etc. I was a little bit taken aback by that and felt as though i wasted my time putting energy into the breakup so i just put on my coat gave her a peck and left as she told me some inside joke of ours and for me to stick to the gym and take care. I know she had feelings it just stings to have someone be indifferent in that moment but she obviously had begun to de-bond before. Thought about the possibility that she had someone new lined up or cheated on me but there were no signs. I think it was just me fully fucking up the attraction with verbalizing my insecurity and becoming too comfortable and available for her in the relationship. Wild to me how in a little over a month it all crashed and burned. I have to work on being mindful in my future relationships and not letting my hamster run. I'm gonna go read the sidebar now. In a way im thankful i had this experience but i'm still not 100% sure when she started to lose interest and how i could have potentially saved it if at all.