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Wife says I look and other women

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themerovingian01
May 3, 2019
15 upvotes
askMRP

A constant fight we have is the wife saying I look at other women. If she even catches so much as a glance she freaks out. From there the night normally goes downhill. Then she'll say things like "I don't want to go there because there are too many pretty girls and you'll be staring at them all night."

​

I'm sure I do have a proclivity to appreciate beautiful women but she's just being obnoxious about it.

​

Some DAREing advice or other techniques to stop the cycle would be great.


Post Information
Title Wife says I look and other women
Author themerovingian01
Upvotes 15
Comments 38
Date 03 May 2019 03:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/237660
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bk9mf0/wife_says_i_look_and_other_women/
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Comments

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red32 points33 points  (7 children) | Copy

Tell her if she wants to make sure you only “look,” she should shut her whore mouth.

[–]themerovingian01[S] -5 points-4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I may say this.

[–]tspitsatgp24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t have the frame for it.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

When you’re attractive, it doesn’t matter what you say. Actually 90% of the time a grin is all that’s required. Let that sink in.

[–]let_that_sink_in5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously? The fuck did that sink come from?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's true. I call my dog a cunt all the time and she wags her tail. Tone matters more than words. Being attractive is the important piece that makes things work.

[–]RPchump1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Flair checks out

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would try it. Tell us all how it went.

[–]Grimsterr10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

"In the last 5 minutes I have neither been stricken blind, nor gay." is my go-to response.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

"You look at other women!"

"Yes."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fog. Tease her about her hyper dramatic reaction the way you’d tease a 13 year old girl. Then ask her why she feels so insecure. Turn it around on her and make it her issue. Classic fogging.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

My wife has been noticing that every time we go out I’m constantly staring at motorcycles. I notice them in the parking lot, I notice them when they drive-by. They always seem to catch my eye.

My wife asks why I am always checking out motorcycles.

I could say that I think they look really cool. They look like they’re fun to ride, and I just really like motorcycles.

I could say that I’ve been planning on getting a motorcycle, and I’m checking out all the models to see what’s out there.

Or, I could try to convince her that I’m not checking out motorcycles because I’m afraid of her reaction. In which case, I should probably stop looking at motorcycles.

Which one do you think I should do?

[–]themerovingian01[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Recently I did tell her the female figure is a beautiful work of art and I enjoy looking at great art.

[–]RPchump0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please tell me you’re a troll. I bet you are. You can’t be this big a fucking tool. This is too easy.

[–]Redpillbrigade177 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Hmmm. It depends. If you look at them like a needy, quiet squirrel whose attention is easily caught by flashy skirts, leggings or tits, it is a sign of being a wussy beta. Think about those guys who look but never approach because they are too scared or have no game or both. So of course she doesn’t like it and would not want to be around you when you’re acting that way.

I’m going to guess your frame is shit and you’re a ball in the pinball machine, bouncing between your wife’s moods and these attention grabbing ladies. When you go out you should do it because you want to spend time with your woman, to game her, to be social, to have fun. If you do all that first and foremost and you also every now and then see another cutie, as long as you take it in stride, and are even able to bring your wife in the game, there is nothing wrong with it. Ask her opinion of what you see and you like, tell her how much fun would be for both of you to go to town on some third chick. That’s how threesomes start. Get your woman to open up, but you’ll need a stronger frame first.

Good luck.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

This is a tough one. If I'm honest with myself I know these girls catch my attention because I'd love to fuck them. My wife has gotten less attractive and she's less interested in fucking me for a variety of reasons. Thus far I've only DEERed in these situations. When she says, "oh look at that girl over there. you'd totally do her" I'd say something like "nah, she's not my type" or otherwise deny it.

​

I think maintaining frame and not DEERing is critical to overcoming these situations.

[–]NoCoast826 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say something like "nah, she's not my type" or otherwise deny it.

And do you understand what you are doing wrong here? Great advice above about not looking like the eager squirrel looking for a nut, but this seems like a bigger issue of your own value. You were looking at the 20yr old in yoga pants, every man would. But you don't have the balls to admit it when you are cought red handed.

is critical to overcoming these situations

And this is why, you're trying to sprinkle on the alpha. This isn't about "overcoming situations", but learning how to be a better man for the rest of your life.

Focus on congruency, that is the foundation of your frame. You currently have neither.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

When she says, "oh look at that girl over there. you'd totally do her”

“Yup” and smirk.

You DEERing with your excuses basically gives her permission to get fat and gross. She should worry about you wanting other women, that’s her motivation to stay hot for you.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“A constant fight”

Pussy.

“Stop the cycle”:

Become attractive, high value, own your shit, become the Prize, put yourself first, take her off the pedestal, start teasing and gaming her everyday, fuck her good- then she’ll start noticing and pointing hot women out for you.

[–]ibelieveican19828 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why do you care about what she thinks? Fuck what she thinks.. the only thing that matters is your opinion and/or frame.. Fuck everything else.

​

Just tease her...

​

Look at that ass.... look at those tits... compare them to hers....

​

Later on that night, enjoy the wet wet pussy... create that competition anxiety... you can do it..

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

At this point a don't give a fuck anymore. I don't even know what would happen if I compared features but I'm guessing it wouldn't be pretty.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

“So?”

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thought about trying something like this. More STFU less DEER.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actual Response: So i am your wife and that is disrespectful.

Better to just say “yup” and then stfu.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol guy posts wife is insecure about him looking at other women, sub suggests a threesome.

That’s level 9, OP is on level 1.

Humans aren’t supposed to be monogamous creatures, society created that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It all depends on your level of frame. Fogging is fine but if you can pressure flip in these situations it can be very beneficial. Could you approach these women you are looking at and flirt? Would they want to fuck you? If not, just stfu and lift until they would and then you can start pressure flipping.

I openly admit to looking at women and get my wife to rank their smv. It gets her all worked up. However, it's only because she knows my smv is higher than hers and I have frame.

[–]rainierfog2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd give her the option of fixing herself, or things are over. Shes extremely insecure, it's not your responsibility to save her from deep rooted issues. As long as you're not being a creepy douchebag about it. It's normal for human beings to notice other attractive human beings. My wife was exactly the same way, even worse, now she has women over for the occasional 3some, yes theres hope as long as shes willing to work on herself.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have hit on something here. She is very insecure but also she doesn't want to work on herself or fuck me as often and I'd like. How does she reconcile that, I dont know.

​

She often mentions threesomes but then goes back on it and says she'd only consider a threesome if the other girl is fatter and/or uglier.

[–]rainierfog0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah you're in a tough spot. They dont want to fuck, but you better not have any urges yourself. Not sure your age or have kids etc... but knowing what I know now, you need to have a long talk with her. I could never live like that again.

[–]hack3geRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wrong she’s testing him because he has a small tingle that he may be changing and OP doesn’t even get it at all. It’s time for some game and PowerTalk not straight talk. However like many have said OP doesn’t even realize the game is on.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dont get caught. Because I dont hide it. If she reacts, i own it and act like its nothing. Because it is nothing. I also don’t gawk at them. I just glance and go on.

[–]centaursg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Be careful, some of the suggestions here are terrible.. Evaluate yourself. How much attention are you giving to your wife vs how much attention you are giving to others when you go out? It is correctly balanced?

Typically all this is a result of brooding insecurity. Can you check if her insecurity is playing the part here?

You can maintain frame and all that shit, lets be honest, this is not healthy for the long term. You`ll have to find a way to ensure she doesnt freak out as much.

As per me, Its unlikely someone sane is always on the verge of freaking out just when you look at other women. Take the holisitic approach and see if other parts of relationship are going good.. Most people want to take the easy route, quick fix and get done with it but that is not root causing and doing the right thing..

[–]Moonlitnights92-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[–]dreamsynth-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

When my wife says that, I don't say anything. I look into her eyes and pull her to me by her belt. It always leads to sex.

[–]redwall92-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are so many good ones in here! I'm going to put these in my binder of good-ones. I'm going to pull it out later (my binder that is) when I need a cheat-code zinger to make my wife feelz different.



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