I've got a long way to go and still have blue pill thoughts but I made a crapload of progress so far. Ever since swallowing the pill I've been feeling so lonely though...

Before the redpill I actually had a crapload of girls (mainly because I was in college). Now I'm out of college(22 y.o.) and I'm so busy with work, gym, hobbies,... I am surrounded by friends but all they want to do is drink and go out during the weekends.. My other friends are busy with their girlfriends.

The only thing that bothers me is that I crave for a good LTR. I don't know why. I've had a crapload of hookups during the last 6 years but they always make me feel empty. This lifestyle isn't fit for me, the whole plate thing, I've tried it but it isn't working out.

Sometimes I just want a good LTR who I can be myself around.. A girl who I can travel with, cook with, workout together, watch a movie and cuddle (I know blue pilled), go to nice places, etc.. I just can't shake off this blue pill thought. I'd rather have one good LTR instead of 4 plates...

I hate how I can't open up to girls anymore, in fear of losing frame. I hate all the pointless mindgames. I hate how you can not make one mistake. If you fuck up once, it's almost over. How do you guys cope with all of this? It's driving me crazy sometimes.