When topic of a past relationships rise up, all girls mention to me three different guys - the long relationship guy, the nutjob-but-crazy-sex -guy, and mysterious guy they go to when they are not in the relationship. I want to talk about the last one.

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May 16, 2019

Like a clockwork, in the honest early stages of relationship, all girls I've been with mentioned these three types. The long relationship is boring long one that started in early adulthood, which ended when one of them chickened out when realized they didn't experienced enough life. The crazy guy/crazy sex one is short but memorable.

The last one is my point of interest and I will call him mysterious guy . It is "relationship" with the guy that clearly stated no strings attached clause, but the girls stayed around for years mostly exclusively for him. He is not a pump and dump guy, he just doesn't want a relationship but creates a great connection and life lasting impact on a girl. This is the guy that girls return to when they have no one around. In one of my early relationships, I broke into girlfriends Facebook and found old messages with her mysterious guy (don't do these kind of shit, it will fuck up your mind). She basically said she will leave her good LTR at the time RIGHT FUCKING NOW if he can promise her relationship. Other girl said that she was in "relationship" with her mysterious guy, and it was a lowest point of her life, she is embarrassed and that it was long time ago and she was other person then yadda yadda... But at the end of the bullshitting she said that he is the guy she goes to when she doesn't have boyfriend. Holly shit what a power this guy has.

When girls mention that guy, I just listen and don't ask questions, just saying 'Ye, ye I get it' at the end and continuing conversation in other direction. But covertly I want to ask them all about that guy and take notes on the ways of this fucking legend. I want to know how these guys look, how they dress, how their day looks like, what they talk about with girls, where they take them out... Basically what they do to be The Guy in the girls whole life without putting in much effort and without any expectations. Take note that from the talks I figured this guy is not your typical alpha jock, this is some kind of next level shit, the absolute emotional and sexual magnet for women.

So, if you guys have examples of guys like this, or if you are, god forbid, one of them, please share your observations, wisdom or path that can lead one there, since the guys with that much of value clearly benefit from all other areas of life.

Post Information
Title When topic of a past relationships rise up, all girls mention to me three different guys - the long relationship guy, the nutjob-but-crazy-sex -guy, and mysterious guy they go to when they are not in the relationship. I want to talk about the last one.
Author bannanawolf
Upvotes 240
Comments 99
Date 16 May 2019 10:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/238850
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bpiy6e/when_topic_of_a_past_relationships_rise_up_all/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphapump and dumplong term relationship

[–][deleted] 302 points303 points 2 (35 children) | Copy

And here I come with my humble brag.

You will never always be that guy, but you can be that guy for some women. I will tell you the main thing that creates this effect is twofold:

Attention to detail

Volume of available women.

You cannot easily be this guy if you are focused on one woman, one thing, a basic life situation. You have to be up and running hard at something most of the time. I was born into a family of very very very hard working men. Nonstop 24 hour availability, painful, dangerous, fast paced work. This made me ripped, and gave me bursts of intensity that translated well in the bedroom. It gave me money, it gave me the ability to lift a girl over my head and toss her in the lake. It allowed me to run, climb, and lift heavy very quickly.

My job was dirty and demanding, but sometimes we would get called off the project mid day, first start of the day, or I would be out from early morning till beyond dark 3 hours drive from home. I did not spend any time speaking with any female about my work. When I was with a girl I was very attentive to the way that she was, and how she could be. I could see that fire inside of her, that passion, that thirst and need that she was missing.

Most people are so bored, they judge who you are, they don't allow you the space and understanding to grow into that next level human being that you can be. Most people don't know how to single mindedly obsess over something that will make them excellent. They obsess over flaws or weakness, I dismissed such things and always saw the best parts of people, I pressed them to lean on those better parts of themselves and downplay the mistakes. We all make mistakes and you cannot let them hold you back.

A woman wants to feel amazing, not that she is better than you, but to feel like she is filled with potential, like she's about to be swept away by some extreme experience of wonder or awe.

Best ways to become that kind of man are to have a fast paced physical job, have a fast paced physical workout, relax when you aren't going top speed, but go top speed twice, three times a day for short bursts somehow, some way.

Get out of your comfort zone weekly. Go somewhere new, wander every shop downtown, don't stick to your small ass town get out of there to the big city. Immerse yourself in study of something, anything. Be passionate about some hobby, even if it sucks at first, give it 6 months and try hard to strain yourself, not to enjoy yourself but to test yourself and make more of what you are.

Great phrase is "chimps are happy, I aim for greatness"

You need to let loose and embrace the self that wants the world to be his way and has the mental tenacity to beat it into submission. Charm it, love it, make it open up and give everything to you. Do that through sales/marketing or high levels of scientific study or excellent physical technique. Whatever you do, do it hard, go to the extreme. Do not settle for average across the board, Find those things in life that you can do well, and do them better than anyone, be more than anyone in at least one way and play on that hard, give it everything.

Don't worry about the mistakes you make, tell anyone who criticizes you that you are sorry, that you will do better, but do not look down, do not cow to them, continue on, keep working hard and do not flinch at the next opportunity to take a risk.

Don't spend your money on stupid shit, don't spend your time talking about what you have, where you have been. Be out there doing things, going places. Don't go places where people go to show off how much money they have, don't go places where you fight rich ass fuck boys for attention. Game everywhere, with every woman you even have a mild attraction to. They all have pussies, they all want someone to turn them on and make them crazy. They all have friends, networking potential, they all want to know an active, friendly, positive uplifting individual. Be that guy.

Don't sweat small shit, don't bitch openly about others to anyone, say nice things or say nothing. Don't waste your fucking time on shitty people and don't punish shitty people just cut them loose and don't let them take advantage, don't perpetuate shitty things that make the world weak, don't be weak and don't be a piece of shit. Be honest but don't be blatantly in your face arrogant honest.

My biggest flaw? I think the world of myself, people see that, but they forget I think the world of each and every one of them. I know they can be better than the ashamed, guilty, half-assed, excuse making turd that they are.

The man who fucks the most women, games the most women, doesn't worry about rejection from the wrong ones, doesn't worry about rejection from chicks he really wants, because he really wants so many fucking women, that he doesn't have to worry about the ones that aren't down.

The best woman drops everything for you, she sucks your dick in the car, she sucks it when you bring it up, she doesn't flip out when she hasn't heard from you, she handles her shit, she might buy you shit, she might come over just to fuck then bounce on her own no question. She might say she loves you and cry or whatever about how you wont date her.

Good women that want everything you are, they are out there, but you have to be working on your passions 100% and not giving a fuck about all the shit in the way. You have to be so busy with doing the right things for you and your future that they are blessed to have what little time you make for them. And when you aren't with a woman you are making money, sleeping, loving whatever you are doing, or pushing through and killing it at whatever you don't want to do, so you can get back to doing what is best in life.

Edit: Gold and silver wtf. Thanks everyone glad I could help.

[–]bannanawolf[S] 23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is good shit, thanks

[–]Ill_mumble_that4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

See I don't give a shit about being mr. mysterious. If I can be the crazy sex guy that's all good.

[–]IvyExcess3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be that guy for a while, then you'll slow down and become the mystery guy. It's a process

[–]Howdoiusesync14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've experienced this and it holds 100%. Adding to the humble brag. A good woman will do those things when they see you have that fire for greatness. Thank you for confirming much from what I've speculated for the last 5 months.

[–]ribber0ni8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you for your comment, I feel I'm doing the right thing now, after my ltr dumped me because I was too boring (and I became boring during the relationship indeed as I felt safe with her, biggest mistake of my life so far) I started the initiative "Mario 2.0" to completely revamp my life and monitor weekly progress. I started learning Spanish, playing the guitar, appreciating my health every day, cold showers, started running and may start to workout soon, giving compliments to friends and strangers more often (I feel this is difficult), succeeding in academia (which I already did before) and keeping contact to good international friends. Also, I give less fucks about life, at least I try. If someone does not accept how I am, then he can go and fuck off. I will not apologise for who I am anymore, never again. Diversifying my goals helps me to see it's going forward on many levels, and if one thing stalls, I have many other things that progress. I'm also more busy than ever before, and I let friends and girls know that my time is precious, exactly as you describe it. Thank you stranger!

[–]DanzNewty4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well done on picking up this mind set, the only thing I can criticize is "and may start to work out soon" Change that to "I'm going to start working out, today!" And you're killing it. Be the best you can be, you're not far off!

[–]Ill_mumble_that2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're not lifting youre shifting into shit.

[–]wisdomrichie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve never commented here, but this is it chief.

[–]modern-day-hemingway4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome. Thanks man this reply really came through for me, seems I’m on the right track haha.

Definitely getting saved

[–]Walaayy7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

You are a fucking natural.

After reading all that I realized that feeling of amazing you say you make them feel you just made me feel about myself.

You are a good person.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

I was raised by my mother and a socially weak father with exceptional work ethic. I grew up very socially weak and when I moved in with my father at 13, the 'well to do' school I entered viciously punished me till my Jr year.

I smoked a bunch of pot and hung out with the outcasts and only made a handful of quality friends.

I did however, have a hard physical job and was the type to fixate on things heavily. My first girlfriend was by far one of the hottest women I've ever known and she was from band. Dad was a doctor etc etc etc the works.

I fucked that relationship up and the next 28. The thing that carried me wasn't being redpilled but being heavily attentive to whatever was in front of me, a deep level of honesty and a strong drive to support my community.

Redpill helped me capture and domesticate women on Tinder, strangers, and new friends outside of my little bubble life I was lucky enough to have.

I would say I have made myself natural, but it was shit when I was a kid and no one did much to help me get away from being a blue pilled bitch. I had to remake myself.

Best of luck to you. Grab on with both hands, whatever it is.

[–]Walaayy0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I’m 21 now. Kinda similar circumstances. Grew very close to my (overly) loving mother and had an abusive dad who make me a shell of myself in high school which is why I ended up in a toxic friend group and never got girls.

To be honest this is my first time hearing about redpill and from the little I red it makes sense to me. Not sure exactly what it entails?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

There's a sidebar of information to go through. I highly suggest reading the book of pook and way of the superior man.

The most important things that set redpill apart from other social ideals is it's hard line against bending too much for anyone and keeping the focus of your life upon yourself.

When you make yourself strong, you can help others that serve you and the world you live in. If you are laying down and sucking up to others letting them make choices for you, they will never respect you, walk all over you, and leave you for something else when they are bored with you.

[–]Walaayy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I’m usually pretty hesitant toward self-help books because I feel like most of them just say comforting things and appeal to narcissism.

But what you said about helping yourself to help others has been on my mind a lot recently. I assume I can’t love others if I don’t know how to love myself. I will check those books out and do more research thank you!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is through the love of yourself that you have the ability to love others. No body is more important than you own. You cannot be a strong giver if you yourself are neglected.

Sure there is plenty of overindulgence out there and we are all checking ourselves back and forth.

[–]IvyExcess2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]nateydanger2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

game recognizes game and you are looking REAL familiar right now. Great write-up.

[–]PulmonaryArchery871 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im saving this. Thanks man

[–]faustian_talos1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Only question is...what happens after 45 and your health goes down?

My uncle used to be like this, he fucked more chicks then most people ever will. Big wage. Long working hour.

He was living the life he wanted. But what now? He is 57 now and he realizes that it was better for him to settle down in one point in his life than to continue gaming chicks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

45 and MY health goes down? Everyone else in my path is experiencing the same thing. I don't typically engage with people younger than 25 at 36 now.

I'll just keep working up with the age as I age.

Anyhow I don't feel like you understand the concept of 'fucking the most women' because as you are fucking tons of women, engaging with tons of women, getting to know tons of women, you are vetting all of them for long term relationships.

All of them. The point of banging a ton of chicks is NOT to bang a ton of chicks. That's just part of it, the aim is to get to know quickly and deeply as many women as possible, this helps you quickly weed out the ones that are not for you and focus on women that are for you.

I 100% suggest engaging with as many males as you can as well, life is a numbers game, the more people you get to know, the better you do.

Your health technically should not go down any more than it has to, the humans that will live to 120 are already living, this expands the good years, not just the last years.

Having an incredibly disciplined life should also be the goal. Life is not some narrow thing, it is wide and deep and many things need to be constantly adjusted and considered again and again.

The best reason to engage with as many women as you can is some of them will greatly assist you in making the rest of your life better.

That's what we are trying to do, surround ourselves with excellence and continue growing more excellent.

[–]faustian_talos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know this is what you meant. Like most people who achieved TRP you share their goals.

I have become very suspicious of the long term TRP lifestyle due to absence of family.

But even without TRP I have (through work only) met a lot of americans who prefer this lifestyle (as opposed to Europeans like myself) but I dont find the long term result satisfying. I have nothing against this detached lifestyle (by detached I dont mean lonely wolf life, but not forming deep emotional relationships with women but just a few males) if it means you will do something HUGE with your life and benefit mankind (like lets say Tesla) but most people will not come even close. Even if they life to 100 years old, bang 500 chicks in their life and have billion of connections (which in age of globalism like today is not a feat) it is nothing special. Just pleasure. So maybe no one just gave me a good explanation why it is so good.

Best thing about TRP is, and I agree with you, achieving your maximum potential and excellence (whatever that means for each one of us).

[–]volvostupidshit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would like to do this myself but I turn into an ugly chimp when I overwork and stressed. Maybe I'll do this once I get to have my cosmetic surgery.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nice. So you work in the oil field? I wonder what do you do that keeps you ripped and strong enough to throw women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Roofing in the PNW. Walking sheets up 12/12 pitch, carrying full mid sized propane tanks for flat top roofing, huge rolls of single ply, working with A/C systems [huge tonnage] and many other aspects of tear off make you a beast.

I would seriously suggest any commercial level roofing for work. Oil is much more dangerous because of the unpredictability of pressure.

Logging is another exceptionally strong field for building muscle on the job, but again, very dangerous because you are dealing directly with nature.

Roofing is structured and rigorous. Most people in most construction fields are rather lazy, you can go out of your way and do more, push yourself.. Other great trades would be demolition, internet cabling, anything related to dirt moving.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah I see. I work on the project management side of construction. I lift 3x per week and walk a couple miles per day.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Plumbing is also good. In big cities, you easily make $100k/yr

[–]VickieViolence0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Logging is stupidly dangerous. Cutting down trees is the most dangerous part of wildland firefighting. Speaking of which, Wildland firefighting is another great job. Assuming you get on to a crew that actually fights fire, you make great money, get in great shape, you are free and collecting unemployment in the off season, and girls dig it.

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Being physical is fantastic, but having a physically demanding job is not good for the long term. The guys that have physically demanding jobs their entire life are the guys who have serious chronic physical health problems starting at age 45 making them basically cripples by their 50s.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm in good shape working a desk career now. I suggest it, you get your experience and understanding from the ground up in the hard part of the work, then excel and take on management and training roles in your early 30's or early 20's. You can also sell by having heavy comprehension. No one respects a man more in a trade than the one that has done it all and has total 360 degree comprehension of the work.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best comments I've ever read on here.

[–]420KUSHBUSH0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have now joined The High Council

[–]TheRedPillRipper40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy

covertly I want to ask them all about that guy and take notes

If you want to catch a fish u/bannanawolf; don't ask the bait. There are several of those men here willing to help you. They've started with putting together The Sidebar.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]CaptainFitzgerald1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As Patrice would say, don't let a fish tell you how to fish.

[–]WorkOnYourSMV96 points97 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's easy to be the mysterious guy as you study and understand the red pill concepts.

  1. Work on your SMV / Become the best version of yourself. (Muscle gains, athletics, fashion, intellect, work ethic, high value career, social interactions, hygiene, diet and etc)
  2. He understands female nature, monkey branching, cock carousel, hypergamy and does not commit to any women because he knows his value/options and won't settle while on his journey of increasing his SMV.
  3. Focus on your mission and purpose in life and keep women near bottom of your priority list.
  4. There is no routine, no comfort, and is not boring compared to a long term relationship which breeds mystery and excitement to a women every time she meets the mysterious one.
  5. He's on his own time and never chases women. Women get to see him when HE decides. (Value your non-sexual attention)
  6. Do not give FREE attention / validation and become an orbiter to ANY woman. (Exchange sex from women in return of your attention as you're a busy man on your purpose and don't have time for games)
  7. Women love these kind of guys because they know they cannot manipulate and lock him down compared to the nice guy / simp / beta male provider which will get in a relationship with her instantly.
  8. It's like playing an exciting and fun video game on hard mode. Women love challenges.

IM MAXIM #3: “Women’s love is admiration built upon respect. Women are drawn to men of experience and power. Man’s love is respect built upon desire. Men are drawn to women of innocence and vulnerability.

[–]duta26 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’m a bit confused on how if he doesn’t chase women, how does he ask women for dates or make advances?

[–]AwakenedSovereign26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you are trying too hard and/or are not getting what you want, you are chasing.

Advancing is not chasing. Showing interest is not chasing. Spitting game & flexing is not chasing.

Doing any of those things and some others, reapetedly or excessively, or needily, is chasing.

Getting super stoked over a morsel of her attention or sexuality is chasing.

Double texting is chasing.

The list keeps going.

You will find that the target moves. Persistence works sometimes, sometimes aloofness, etc.

There is no rulebook. Do what works for you.

[–]duta21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

THis really hit home for me- all my friends think im drowing in pussy but atm- its a pure desert dry spell. I've been approaching chicks etc, but so far nothing. When ever I give a girl a bit too much attention- they run the fuck away. But at the same time- I don't want chicks making moves on me- I'm the one who does that. Now I've been thinking of chatting them up a bit with some push and pull- I think that's been my issue. Not enough negs/ too much "charm". Always things to focus on.

[–]WorkOnYourSMV10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent question.

He will approach women if women give IOI’s or when both eyes lock but he will not chase after a women after that point.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can chase a bit upfront if necessary. After sex, stop. It’s her turn.

[–]LilLoserFreny43 points44 points  (5 children) | Copy

These guys know how to dominate women. And no, it’s not simply about being dominate in the bedroom. It goes deeper than that. When you are dominate in all aspects of your life, this frame of mind naturally seeps into how you deal with women. “ The mysterious guy “ knows how to work her emotions for his benefit but, at the same time, also knows when to make her feel good. He has found the perfect balance of invoking emotion in her while not being emotional himself.

For you to become this guy , as cliche as it sounds, you have to become the best version of yourself. Not only that, but you have to have such an abundance mindset that if a women is not 100 % part of your program you are able to leave. The problem with the long relationship guy and the nut-job-but-crazy-sex-guy is that they are not well rounded in the same way that the mysterious guy is.

The long relationship guy might be able to provide but he is boring and predictable. In short, he is afraid of his own masculinity and sexuality, of course this will not help to make a woman comfortable to be in her feminine. Why would she? The man she is with is not in his masculine . To add insult to injury, he truly believes that the woman is the prize. The crazy sexy guy is too unpredictable, so much so that the woman can never use him as a rock to temper her own craziness that is inherent in all women. He also subconsciously sees the woman as the prize because he is so sex obsessed. He is not able to control his own desires.

Now here comes the mysterious guy, he is not sex driven in the way that the crazy sex guy and he has some of the qualities that the longer term relationship guy has (such as discipline and generally an even temper) while not being a pushover. A woman truly has no power over him and that is what make him “mysterious” because female narcissism and solipsism can’t grasp this concept. It’s not about being mysterious in the stereotypical way that is portrayed in pop culture. The mysterious man could look like a regular joe but on the inside, he is a puzzle that woman can’t figure out,

If you want to become this man you have first get rid of the idea that there are things you can do and say that will turn you into this man. It will be a long and arduous journey. Also, you have to do this for you and not for women. Becoming this sort of men has benefits that surpass women. Basically the mysterious man encompasses all the positive aspects that the long relationship guy and the crazy sex guy has without any of the negative. To become this man you have learn to dominate all aspects of your life and this can only happen through self improvement. Self-improvement varies between person to person but you can’t live an unfulfilled life and hope to become this kind of guy.

[–]shadowkat10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is accurate. Listen to this one.

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]_-resonance-_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A woman truly has no power over him and that is what make him “mysterious” because female narcissism and solipsism can’t grasp this concept.


[–]zaze122 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes you don't even need to be the best version of yourself,you just need to not give a damn about her. I was this misterious guy when I was at low point in my life,few girls thought it was "cool" but I just was a mess.

[–]volvostupidshit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was like this in high school. Too aloof to care about getting laid but is constantly in the honor section without even trying. Some chick actually told me I was mysterious. She wanted the D but I turned her down. Years later she was still puzzled why a guy like me would turn a chick like her.

[–]RedSkeller15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Without humble bragging, I'm nothing special but I know who I am and am generally laid back and aloof. I've noticed it's fly paper for the mentally unstable, I've flat out told women I don't believe in monogamy and I'm not interested in relationships. Pretty much an open door policy for plates as they come and go, some come back every few months or so in the wild.I really don't see the value of constantly fucking women - I know a bunch of guys who love to talk about it but it's not me. It's fun to be completely detached and watch women become magnetized by apathy.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

I broke into girlfriends Facebook and found old messages with her mysterious guy (don't do these kind of shit, it will fuck up your mind)

I disagree, trust but verify, you should do this if you can. This is the redpill that many of you need to see first hand rather than read about. You are never at a disadvantage by having too much information.

The last one is my point of interest and I will call him mysterious guy . It is "relationship" with the guy that clearly stated no strings attached clause, but the girls stayed around for years mostly exclusively for him. He is not a pump and dump guy, he just doesn't want a relationship but creates a great connection and life lasting impact on a girl.

Having been this guy before it's really not something that you can force to happen. I think it's more like an accident of timing where you also need to meet this girl at the right time in her life to have this impact, and you need to be unobtainable.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Looking into your GF's social media will only work if you have a strong frame, so I don't recommend it to any newbies still laden with BP thoughts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It will only work if you're willing to walk away if you don't like what you see, that's certainly true

[–]Anasthaesium2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Looking into your gfs phone will potentially destroy what you had going . Even the best of women have orbiters being fed flirtatiously and that will destroy your trust in the relationship .

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

maybe it should destroy it

[–]Anasthaesium2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually don’t bother . Unless I have decided to wife her up ( which I have never and won’t for maybe 5 -6 years more ) and then I will keylog and surveil all of her shit .

If am going to place my emotional and financial life under pledge for a broad I might as well know what am getting myself into .

[–]shedontmind 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

The mysterious guy is just Chad, maybe with a bit more bluepill to really seal it. The term you are looking for regarding the woman is alpha widow. Most girls had a relationship with a Chad a some point and from then on they are marked. They could be locked down with a beta for 10 years but if their Chad shows up, say goodbye.

Basically beware the alpha widow. No matter how alpha you think you've become, there's this dude in their past that they will leave you for at the drop of a hat. Red flags might be her keeping up contact, saving pics of them together, innocently meeting up together while he's still in a relationship... you get the idea.

[–]_-resonance-_2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What reason is there to “beware” if you’re not getting emotional about the relationship? OP is talking about being mysterious guy, and mysterious guy certainly ain’t stressing.

[–]dontbeanasshole7770 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What if I'm also Chad and she's gonna get double widowed?

[–]IvyExcess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is feasible to do if you are more alpha or just completely different from the other guy. Do her a favor and try to straighten her out a bit and build her self esteem. I've fucked up a couple girls alpha widowing them, I've met girls that were ruined by some guy, and I've helped a few get their shit straightened out a bit and they were eternally grateful.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I read through all comments without finding the right answer about what makes “mysterious” guy someone a girl obsesses over so I’ll reveal the secret to you. It’s:

Sexual Options

OP you hint at it yourself. Mysterious guy “didn’t want a relationship right now”. Girls return to him when they’re single, implying that Mysterious guy is somehow always “available”. Why is that? That’s because he has pussy on tap (or looks like he does) and isn’t locked down.

Girls are usually the ones being chased. It usually doesn’t happen the other way around. A guy not chasing a woman implies he has a 100 other women available to him right now (whether it’s true or not, doesn’t matter). Some mention he has abundance mentality, I say he has abundance, period.

This is the whole reason TRP tells you to spin plates. Even if you want a LTR, start with spinning plates. It’s not about turning you into a polyamourous sex machine whether you like it or not, it’s only to teach you that abundance of sexual options is what attracts women. Alpha is not height, muscles or money. Alpha is that feeling in her head that goes “that guy fucks”. Height, muscles and money might definitely help igniting that feeling a bit, but what really burst it into existence is that attitude that looks like he’s fucking so many girls right now that he doesn’t have time for me, need for my companionship, or care for my liking him or not. That is alphahood. That’s what they desire so badly.

It’s just as important in a LTR if that’s what you really want. Once you’ve spun enough plates, or fucked enough girls, that you’ve understood this and obtained that attitude, then you can safely get in a relationship with a girl and maintain that attitude, which then goes from “that guy fucks” to “that guy could fuck (other girls but me)”.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some great responses so far...let me add my two cents.

This description sounds like the Sigma male.

I don't really know how to put it all into to words. Mysteriousness is exactly that - a mystery.

In no way do I want to sound egotistical, or 'better than', but I don't think just any guy can be the mystery. I think every guy who is, is that way for very unique reasons.

Sticking to Red Pill language, I'll stick to Alpha and Sigma. Bear in mind this is just my opinions and experiences. I'm really not interested in trying to prove myself 'right'.

I've been this guy in the eyes of quite a few women. Sigma has something different to the typical 'Alpha'. Alpha, stereo-typically speaking, can be that obvious top of the chain guy. The biggest guy at the gym, the social center-piece at parties and clubs. The car, large bank account, confident, head hunter.

In a funny way, though, the Alpha is pursuing what society says. To the Sigma, an alpha is boring and predictable. Yes, they get their needs met, but they are a dime a dozen, and I would find being a typical Alpha the most boring, unfulfilling, superficial shit in the world.

I'm cut from a cloth that is a little bit different. Where many Alpha's look outward, I look inward. I've always had a sense of mission, purpose, bubbling potential. A deep wisdom and intelligence. It's not ego, or self-righteousness, but I've always owned the fact that I feel 'different'.

I can't 'settle'. I've overcome some shit in life that is incredible, and built my life and self back from next to nothing. I have incredible resilience, wisdom, fire. I can't settle for relationships, house, children, all that jazz. When I hit goals, or a position in life I've strived for...I HAVE to lock myself into more long-term goals and mission. But none of that mission is about money or materials. I do that stuff, have days where I spend big, add to my wardrobe etc, think about buying a new car, whatever, and I am instantly left feeling empty.

It's so hard to put into words, but I hit a peak, and I'm just consumed with what more potential I can fulfill. I don't know where the drive comes from. I see life, the world, people in a very strong, very unique way.

When I speak to women about myself, my life, my vision, my purpose, many have said they've never met someone like me. I've made it clear early that I don't want long term commitment, because I honestly don't know where I'll be in 6 months or a year. They hang around, though, or come back.

Many women have said they've never had a man talk about the things I do, or into the things I'm into. My sense of spirituality, and energy, and life. Women listen to that and most just have this 'where does this all come from' response. They want to know how I get my perspective, my ideas, my insights. I don't really read theory, I more trust myself and go toward the vision I have for myself. I like to look back at certain teachers and their ideas to see if I'm on a right path.

Life is vibration. We've been dumbed down completely by the powers that be, to put us in a fucking trance. Keep going inward, learn about deep meditation and spirituality on another level. Couple that with how the world works and gaining true mastery, have mission, purpose. Never limit yourself, or others. Seek your own conclusions, your own guidance. People will be drawn to it, because they will see in you what they wish to see in themselves.

True courage, bravery, power, vulnerability is experienced at really deep connections with the world and universe. When every Alpha is out buying better clothes and haircuts and seeking validation, you can walk in a whole 'nother space. Women fall wet at that stuff. Keep it all positive and passionate.

I have no idea if anything I've said will resonate...that's the thing with mystery. If it was easy to encapsulate it on a reddit post, it wouldn't be a mystery.

[–]nazeempslayer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best answer so far imo, i resonated with this a lot. It seems we are similarly different, my friend

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Creating and maintaining mystery is a survival trait men have used for thousands of years. Natural or learned it's a powerful tool.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah a lot of people have called me mysterious and weird, it's probably because I don't give a fuck about things that most people care about.

[–]eddboat1121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im #3 with a girl i met not too long ago. Dont get me wrong, i really like her, and shes an amazing person, but I'm not ready to settle down yet. She is, however, and she'll get into a relationship with me in a heartbeat if I wanted to. Im not this guy to everyone though, you just have to find the right person you connect with. Be confident, have goals, dress nice, groom yourself, smell good, and dont have a girl on your priority list, ever.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The main difference relies in how the sexual encounters stopped occurring. If the reason for this can be attributed to external factors (e.g. traveling or work) women usually come back. The trick is making them believe it wasn't you or her, but the environment the one that forced the cease of sexual interactions.

[–]shadowkat6 points7 points  (17 children) | Copy

My fiance has been this guy for a lot of women it seems. I don't think it's about being distant, if anything it's about being able to connect. Even if he was interested in someone as a fwb thing, he'd take the friend part seriously, really have deep conversations and truly care about them. People have said he relates to women like other women in some ways, but he's also physically masculine and awesome in bed. I think the "let them chase you" thing is sort of spot on, but it's more casual than that, it's like actually being busy but then being genuinely excited to see the person when they reach out to you to set up time. The behaviors maybe look the same but the mindset is entirely different.

[–]ramfex212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If this guy is what you think he is.. he wouldn’t be your ‘fiancé’ he would be single.

[–]1walawalawa9 points10 points  (15 children) | Copy

Never take relationship advice from women. NEVER EVER EVER be "friends" with women. It's a sure-fire way to be an orbiter.

What this "fiancé" has that the women are truly looking for is that he's unavailable in some way. The "Friend" part is irrelevant. IF this guy has sparked attraction and then withdrawn it in some way that's what these women are chasing NOT the connection.

[–]IvyExcess9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

Eh, it's a little of both. I'm that guy and actually most of what she says is right. The girls in my life know me like this because I dont judge them, they know because I've told them that I'm aware of female nature in its reddest tooth and claw form, they know I dont commit, they hear from other girls how much fun I am, I can and do relate to them like a girl sometimes because I speak their language, and they trust me with shit cause when they ask about other people I tell them I respect people's confidences and dont tell secrets. And I fuck well. That combo is potent to a woman and they know I know what I've got. It's almost meta at this point but this is a lifetime of accrued experience and experimentation and living life on my terms. You do arrive on a higher plane and can almost look down and see the world working with a new understanding, its surreal, almost godlike. Alright that's enough.

[–]1walawalawa1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Probably true tactically but from a Red Pill perspective you're missing the cues into why this is happening. The 3 criteria for male to female attraction are: 1) leader of men 2) protector of women & children 3) pre-selected by other women

You're looking at your success without understanding the underlying dynamics driving it. It's now about what you're doing it's about HOW you're sparking that attraction that the Red Pill offers an explanation for.

[–]IvyExcess0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Trust that I know exactly what the cues are that are causing this. If you knew me in real life you would see that my entire existence is basically chick crack on a worldwide socio-cultural level. Every woman wants to be with me, for a night or for a long time. I have learned to spark attraction using PUA/Redpill stuff but the reality is that a lifetime of seeing womens behavior, including my own mother, sister, dating lots of girls, having "little sisters" that I get to see behind the scenes... it has all led to this point for me, and now I live like a king, act like a king, get treated like a king, and I have honestly earned it, which is why now nobody can fuck with me, and I get "Access" to this world. I will also say that if you have seen or knew the shit that I have born witness to, been a part of, and sometimes caused, you might seriously consider turning gay, a lifetime of monkhood, and/or swearing off women forever.

This is my current level of personal struggle: knowing this shit, seeing it, knowing how our society literally supports it, how many clueless guys are out there, ive banged their wives, their sisters, cousins, girlfriends, ive been sexually assaulted, felt up, growled at by grown women in public, had girls tell me alllll sorts of shit about the other guys in their life, ive banged a supermodel who turned out to be super shallow, alcoholic and permanently ruined from alpha-widowing, ive alpha widowed chicks, good lord i could go on. My delimma is...what now? I have built my dream life, i could never watch porn again and rely strictly on memories, and I have arrived on that next plane...and its fuckin lonely up here... but I have faith the next step is coming...luckily im patient.

[–]Atheist_Utopia0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like a damn nice problem to have. Tell me, how did you become Chad?

[–]IvyExcess3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was born handsome but clueless. I'm tall. I have been charming naturally my whole life. Somewhat effeminate at times, which lowers a lot of girls guards. I've been kissing girls since before I could walk (parents have pics lol) I've paid attention, learned from my MANY mistakes, and studied and implemented PUA/redpill lessons and just been really honest with a lot of girls. And the thing is, I like girls and women a lot. Even after alllll this stuff, I still love women. They smell good, they feel good, they can be hilarious, witty, charming, and feminine if you know how to unlock yourself so that they can unlock themselves with you. It's a beautiful thing to have "those moments" with chicks, in and out of the bedroom, and they love it too. I see that as my end game of redpill is just learning to dance with the world on my terms and to have as many of "those moments" with literally whatever it is that I'm dancing with at the time, whether that's a motorcycle, a beautiful girl, an oil filter, a 2x4, or that old timer asshole at the flea market who I haggle with just to haggle.

[–]oooKenshiooo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you. Things tend to get shallow after a while.

[–]shadowkat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That combo is potent to a woman and they know I know what I've got. It's almost meta at this point but this is a lifetime of accrued experience and experimentation and living life on my terms. You do arrive on a higher plane and can almost look down and see the world working with a new understanding, its surreal, almost godlike.

This sounds spot on.

[–]_-resonance-_5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, our lady friend here is sharing good advice. She’s spot on in saying that relating to women is key. If a dude is presenting a masculine front, it’s still a front. The truly confident man is able to be empathetic, sincere and genuine because he knows his innate masculinity is a gift to share, not a prize to showcase. Women can sense this and want to smash it.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, I'd like to add she is not just any woman,she is a RP aware woman. I think her contribution is valuable, and presented better arguments than the Ad hominem attack she received.

[–]shadowkat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

We're not the enemy here. Some of y'all (like u/IvyExcess) seem to have cracked the code, honestly more of us would like to be treated the way he's describing things and that's why those guys stick out in our minds.

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

We're not the enemy here.

When people say, "don't take advice from women" that's not implying that women are the enemy. It's implying that women are not conscious of their true motivations in this area, and thus are not giving accurate advice.

This is true of everyone, men and women alike, of course. We all follow, on occasion, ancient and deep-seated instincts. It's why we eat the wrong food, why advertisements work on us, and why people road rage. We feel something in the moment, and act on that feeling. But later on, when asked to explain ourselves, the part of our brain that can reason and speak invents a story that isn't necessarily related to the true underlying motivation. This is called post-hoc rationalization.

So for example, if you want to be successful in marketing, you do not ask consumers "what kind of advertisement would you like to see?" It's not that people will lie to you. It's just that they are not conscious of the real reason they respond to one ad and not another. So instead of asking them for advice, watch what they do.

There are certain traits and behaviors that men exhibit and women find attractive. TRP seeks to accurately describe these things and develop them in ourselves. It's our belief that the way to accomplish this is by observing what women actually do, not by listening to (possibly) post-hoc rationalizations.

I would expect you to do the same thing with men.

[–]dontbeanasshole777-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit advise. Learn how to be friends with woman. There is value in it.

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, value for her as you become her orbiter.

[–]dontbeanasshole7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You become what you are. If you got your shit together you can have female friends and get value from them. Talking from my experience.

[–]Cholo4Trump1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I get the mysterious card a lot, "Why are you sooo mysterious??" in person and sometimes over text.

I am redpilled, lift, and have a natural seductive look to me (no homo). I can hook bitches with just the way i look at them. i also am pretty charismatic, but dont give away free attention. Also i dont use social media, i think this is a big part of it.. they hamster about why i dont have one and they cant just look up everything about me online.

[–]bigdaddypapadad8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lmao. Let’s see your seductive look.

[–]Cholo4Trump5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

dm me papi

[–]furcryingoutloud2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

They know they can come by and see me whenever they want. They also believe that if I didn't go into a relationship with them, doubtful that I will go into a relationship with anyone. Which you know, them being the best and all that.

They can never get over the fact that they weren't enough to be the one. Yet find comfort whenever they contact me and learn that "the one" hasn't showed up. So they know they can always come around as long as I'm available and not busy with one of those hookers I surround myself with. Literally the words of some of them. Of course, they fail to realize that they themselves are part of that group. But all the better.

I answer the phone when I want, not when someone thinks they need to talk to me for whatever stupid reason they concoct in their head to get all butt hurt about. When I do return the call, most times they don't answer out of spite. Only to find out I won't call back and inevitably they call back. Usually complaining about how I don't care for them. "It's not that I don't care for you, I don't care for that 1st world problem your head thinks is the shit and then that I might be the only one who understands". I do understand, I understand you're an idiot who thinks this rock we're on is moving through space thanks to your presence. Fuck off.

But I want a boyfriend, a husband, a family, I want to get married. "That's wonderful! I hope you find the right guy! I'll even help you out by telling you whether I think he'll be a good candidate or not." And as a plus, I'll still be here when you break up. Helping you dry your tears with the tip of my dick.

I want to live with you. Yeah, I'd love to move in with jennifer Lopez too, but she's never let me into her house. She even called the cops on me once, so out of spite, if you're not outta here by 7am, I'm calling the cops on your ass too.

Where are you? I'm with somebody who looks a lot like you, but with a bigger ass. Wait, gotta go now, she wants to... click

Where were you? That is such a nice dress you're wearing... it makes your ass look great

Who were you with? You mean before or after? Which one are you talking about?

We're on this rock, flying through space. At the end of your life is nothing but a black hole of forget. Don't sweat the small things. Hint, everything is a small thing.

[–]feedthecatcomics2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound derpy, read more

[–]Speedracer1111 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

There are actually 4 categories people fall into, but women don't fuck the "Orbiter/Incel" category. Don't know if this will keep the proper formatting, but the other day u/MentORPHEUS posted a chart:

Men         Low SMV         High SMV Low RMV     Orbiter, Incel  Chad, Alpha Fucks High RMV    Beta Bucks  Monogamous handsome millionaire or Celebrity Women   Low SMV     High SMV Low RMV     Town Bike, true Femcel  Club THOT High RMV    Faithful plain Jane     Faithful w/model looks

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Formatting charts is tricky, and TRP doesn't allow links to Reddit, so here.

Men Low SMV High SMV
Low RMV Orbiter, Incel Chad, Alpha Fucks
High RMV Beta Bucks Monogamous handsome millionaire or Celebrity
Women Low SMV High SMV
Low RMV Town Bike, true Femcel Club THOT
High RMV Faithful plain Jane Faithful w/model looks

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1) Abundance. It has to become real. To the point where you say things to women your past self never would have dreamed possible... because you have _so_many_options. You need be outgoing enough to befriend so many women, and have so many opportunities that if anyone walks away, you are almost thankful because it gives you a bit more time to yourself.

By being a friend, you “get it.” You never push for or need sex with a friend, which is part of your appeal. They are able to “trust” that you’ll know when they are ready, and you’ll initiate. You are the man. They know when you have options because you are not trying with them.

2) Oneitis is cancer. Soft-next anyone with whom you feel devoted. You must let them come to you.

3) Never supplicate. Ever. In any way. Unless you are joking.

4) Have fun. Listen to Jump Around and Insane in the Membrane, or whatever your picks are. By being in “flow”, you can always send a text (which should always be a response text) that exhibits a DGAF, hilarious, confident attitude.

5) Recognize your women are fitting you into their agenda. Yes, you’ll have to shuffle things around to make dates work, but there can be no whiff or notion that you are trying to get with them. Concern yourself only with improving your self to be the best option for your women. By doing this, they will contact you for “dates” on their terms; all you do is say “yes” or “no.” Let things be and just do your thing until you are getting hit up.

6) Keep approaching. By having many female “friends” or options, you will get to the point where all of your needs are being met, and women want you more than you are available.


1) Abundance.


[–]jameyho0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just chiming in to give my 2 cents. I don’t waste my time posting or surfing on this unless I’m going to sleep but I have am one of these “guys”. I don’t consider myself super alpha or anything crazy. I just focus on making my future look stable and maintaining my body while doing hobbies and traveling. The females flock whenever you live your life exactly how you want to. It’s about an overall life happiness mastery not dependent upon any specific female that they’re really drawn to. But none of this is learned overnight. It’s a black belt so to say in life/game mastery.

[–]FREECRACK60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You just manipulate the amount of attention you give them, the settings they see and etc.. Anyone is mysterious when you don’t see them enough. Control the whole narrative

[–]Aesthetic_God__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It just happened so I am this guy to a girl for around a year now. And she's so hooked to me that I almost fall at times for the unicorn trap, but won't let my guard down anyway.

You're really lucky to have me accidentally hit up your post, but at the same time all I can say is it's up to this man's character and build.

There is no clear answer here..

In my case, I met her a few months before my mother was about to pass away. I was dark due to the fact that I knew. I used to lift hard, dress with slim fit t-shirts and ripped jeans, usually black or khaki with some white in it. I would smoke weed and party hard at weekends. I still am like this and keep changing.

Nonetheless it doesn't mean you need to dress like me or smoke weed and lose a family member from cancer to be mysterious. It's up to your current life circumstances, your build, and the values you have subconsciously or consciously formed through your own journey.

The best approach would be to not focus on being that guy, rather create a set of good characteristics through goals and action and keep some stuff for yourself always. This arouses mystery in many women anyways.

It will also depend on the girl, not every woman you talk to might have found this one specific guy as mysterious. Talk to lots of women and make sure you are capable of laying most of them, whether you spin or not.

Good luck.

[–]Yashugan000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you have discovered a girls guide to "cock on tap"

[–]Mescalean0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Had no idea there was an archetype for “this guy” and a lot if it describes SOME relationships I have with women, like another poster stated some. Some are privy to the game/bullshit and don’t fall for it. But I can use 2 hands to count the women in my life I have been this guy to.

One thing I have noticed... the girls who have “this guy” in their life or what I have noticed when I was “this guy”. Their exes were more “basic”. I’m 6’1” 205 with pretty broad shoulders, the illusion of bricks inserted for calves and work in a field that is far from boring and has its perks of being able to get high/fucked up constantly. To a woman who works a boring ass day job.... pfft.

I remember sitting watching a movie with one girl. We’re just making out and fondling a little and she makes the comment “oh my god this is what its like to be with a man” grabbing my tri’s. Could have just been feeding into my ego but knowing her exe, 6’4 comicon beanpole... little hipster vegan girl ate my shit uuuuuup. Every woman has that “me want “badboy” pole” feel in them somewhere. Its genetics.

Completely anecdotal and I’m sure someone might not like this answer. But... yeah man. My advice would be try to elevate yourself above those around you when it comes to traits women are attracted to and then DO NOT act cocky about it. Be “humble” and just act natural about it. Almost like you had to put zero effort into gaining and dgaf.

Hope this helps somewhat man

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hello my friend, Welcome to Sigma Game :)

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve never met a girl, in my life, who’s known these 3 guys.

[–]guyinajumpsuit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just thought I'd throw my 2c in here. Perhaps it can help. I think there are multiple ways this can happen.

I've backed my way into being the mystery guy twice, so there are two women for whom that's my current role. I actually discovered TRP because of this; I wanted to explain the phenomena because I couldn't figure it out for myself. I believe TRP has helped me to frame these dynamics a bit.

In my case, both are former LTRs. Before you say anything, know that I do NOT recommend this for previous LTRs... just saying this situation can come about and it's possible to nurture it. I probably won't bother to do this again if I ever find myself ending another LTR. Mostly, because the girls get really hysterical after they've already blown it the first time, and it takes a cycle or two for them to understand their permanent and future role in my life (if they so choose it).

One more note before I launch into the experience of how it went down: I think this has a lot to do with my personality. I am not Chad, but I do expect people to make their own decisions and handle the consequences, and I do not get butthurt when women choose to do something that ends a relationship. I am very stoic and deliberate when confronted with "bad" news, which helped in both these situations. I think many guys either slink into post-relationship friend-zone in the hopes of reigniting the spark, or go scorched earth and no contact. I do neither. Frankly I'm also very good at the sexual aspects of relationships, at least with these two ladies I'm going to tell you about... call me Beta Fucks? I honestly don't know.

I'm also going to call these girls "intermittent plates" as you will come to understand below. Again, they are former LTRs who have been permanently demoted into FB status.

Here is my understanding of what happened:

I dated the first girl in my early 20s for several years. She branch-swung to another man and actually had the courtesy to tell me about it. I didn't want her to bail on our relationship at the time, but I realized immediately that I had no chance to continue without her cheating (if she hadn't already). During the course of her telling me she wanted to "try out" this other guy, I actually convinced her to date him and break up with me. I went on about my life feeling bummed for a few days but accepting the facts. Six months later she's back in contact telling me about how sad she was that relationship had ended and that I was "the best ever" and yada yada. At the time, and this is critical because it was out of character for me, instead of comforting her or trying to 'be there to support her,' I simply texted back "so... wanna fuck?"

(I ascribe the success of this strategy to the fact that there was already comfort in spades from our previous relationship, so I just went straight to the sex part because I was feeling cheeky and sarcastic. I was flabbergasted when she responded positively.)

We did this for several months until she tried to ensnare me in another relationship, to which I said "no." Bear in mind, I don't lie--I don't pretend I want a relationship, ever; to me that is below my personal ethical threshold. Also paramount to this situation is the fact that we were not FWB, we did not hang out outside the bedroom/apartment, we did not meet unless it was specifically for sex... it was literally comfort sex (for her) twice a week at her place, and me leaving. At this point, she finds another potential boyfriend, and she ratchets up attempts to lock me into a relationship again (and again I hold firm). I calmly explain that I cannot enter a relationship with a woman who will threaten me by flaunting other men. While this is true, it's also bizarre that it's the only way she can manage to ask me for exclusivity. She's so insecure and indirect that she apparently must try to manipulate me. (It's so weird to me that she has never bothered to ask for a relationship without throwing another potential boyfriend in my face first, especially since I specifically have told her this won't work with me, but hey ho).

She then goes "no contact" because calling this out is offensive to her. Months later, rinse and repeat. In fact, she often grinds her new relationships into the ground in order to come back, as I will not under any circumstances sleep with her if she's also in a relationship (and she knows this).

It's been six or seven years and we do this every 9/12/15 months. One problem for this poor little birdie is that she falls for her own hypergamy trap over and over and over again. She never sees the overall structure! It's gotten so bad that her father has offered me half of her inheritance up front if I'll propose to her. That would make me a very wealthy man, but nope. Hey, it's her life, her decisions, oh well. I think he actually gets that and agrees with me, which is hilarious and sad.

Second girl was a more recent version of the same thing. Practically the exact same sequence of events. In each case, I'm "the best ever" yada yada (it's uncanny when you notice that these girls seem to be on a script). Trying to understand this led me to TRP. I was unable to explain why this happened twice, if I'm the "best ever," and in practically the exact same manner. I think I understand it better, now.

edited: typos

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