It's been a very long time since I last posted, at least a good and solid post so I'm going to give my self a try today.

I'm a frequent lifter, and do take my diet and supplementation seriously, without hesitating though the last few months I had created two identities, during the day I was the natural, define it yourself "normal" person who worked hard and earned money, gaming and reading while being involved into a LTR with some girl for a year now. I wouldn't really get rusty as my skillset had been a part of my self now, the positive traits that I couldn't and wouldn't drop but could easily neglect.

At night, I fucked everything up, got messed up altering my persona completely, I would go out and game women endlessly or talk to random dudes, while being good it wasn't done in a correct manner. Getting my self almost involved into life and death situations, being around a social circle of frequent drinkers, trigger-finger guys who didn't really value their lives, and having my self walk around at night with knuckles to protect my self as I knew what troubles I had created while I should have held strong frame instead at times. The double life, white and black, sun and moon.

I had to earn a life lesson to wake up and DGAF for all this, until one night I literally died, I fainted while I was eating and for 3 minutes my heart had stopped working. People would do CPR and nothing, until one girl I never really ever saw or remember at the incident since I was passed out, grabbed me from the back and pushed me so hard so that I could breathe and it worked. It costed me a shattered rib, and a shoulder dislocation, which is a bitch, until I realised it's nothing really important and walked out the hospital standing up as a MAN. Realising that after all, it wouldn't matter if I were dead right now. It was all black like that night. I closed my eyes and saw nothing but darkness, my soul would stay in that abyss since I'm an agnostic.

Since that day, I have quit fucking around and said to my self, fuck that shoulder and rib, I continued my prolonged lifting habit, eating right, and working as much as I can to be stronger, I would be in thoughts for days and nights, until I got the point it's nothing that I should be worried about, as long as I keep improving and improving without the second identity I created, that old self who was nothing but darkness, emptiness, and deep resentment for the world we live in, orbiting around in a very negative point of lifeview. I ditched some people that surrounded me, didn't give a fuck if anyone around ever liked me or not, and started interacting with new people who offer some value to my table and actually walk the same new path I chose to go through.

You'll sometimes get a second chance, maybe a third one, sometimes you might not so from a stoic point of view you shouldn't fuck around with things that can cost you your life, you haven't improved until you fucking get this carved into your mind, the worst thing that could happen is yet unknown to all of us, life is important and taking care of yourself is something you should never stray away from. In terms of health, well being and improving.

It's been 17 days and my health has overall gotten much better, my brain works normal and it feels like I'm back to where I was when I first took the Red Pill, excited, bold, ready to grab every chance by the hair and say Fuck everything else, I don't give a fuck what others think, it's their own deep problems and I shouldn't be bothered or take something negative someone says or does to me personally, best thing you can do to all these situations is react with a dominant enjoyable frame and smile walking away, without fear. Which actually means not react at all.

Take care and keep reading/lifting/eating right/dressing your best/build and control frame/DGAF. Having at least a healthy lifestyle will bring you in the right place eventually, making you strong enough to not fall down when problems occur, and learning how to fight them back.

Once my shoulder feels alright, I am going to start kickboxing and simultaneously keep lifting, dominantly forging iron principles day by day.

Don't drink too much, do not abuse substances, and stay safe. I'm not saying you can't enjoy a nice cocktail or two each saturday in a nightclub, but know your limits. It will keep you more focused on your goals. By nature, I am explosive, bold and when I feel like I want to do something like go talk to a girl or move here, there, check new places out I'm acting without much thought. But learning your limits is very important to keep yourself from taking the wrong decisions especially if you have such a personality trait, it can be positive and great as a tool if only you use it for the right purpose.

Stay sharp, and keep moving on, life doesn't wait. Excuse my writing and comprehension, I haven't a long time since I stood back up to my feet and am trying to improve despite the difficulties.