I stopped using drugs over a year ago and had been addicted to them for years. Every relationship I had I was using. And it really helped me NGAF but I couldn’t live that way anymore. Since being sober I have turned my whole life around. I am a huge work in progress still. Even more so than I already knew.
I recently entered a new relationship about 8 months ago and after reading and following everything in this sub and starting my MAP my life seemed to be at a whole new level. The way I was acting blew this woman away. It was something she had never experienced and something I have never given to anyone. Including myself. Since I have been steady lifting. Training in MMA. Saving money. And handling all my shit. I started a new career and thought I found my purpose but overtime it seems I am less interested in this trade than I had thought.
Anyway over the last month or so all these problems started happening in my relationship. And when I take a RP approach I have to look at myself first. And holy fuck do I have a lot of problems. Either I do or we just aren’t compatible like I thought.
Little things will happen and it will set an emotional response off inside me. I can’t hid it. I am annoyed and I wear it on my sleeve. It usually has to do with her doing little shit that a confidence secure man wouldn’t get upset over. But I do.
For instance she could be saying she was talking to some dude, she could be wearing revealing clothing, when she talks to people she tends to touch their arm. Etc. Little shit I know I shouldn’t get about. But inside I can feel myself turning red and getting worked up. I hate it
My question is how do I react when these insecurities come up. Do I just STFU and suppress them? Give them time and if it still bothers me say something? I want to work through them. But when I suppress them. They seem to keep popping in my head and I obsess about them, until I say something. Then I come off as insecure. I’m at a loss for how to handle this when it comes up.
I tried to stfu and go lift. But it’ll pop in my head later on. I tend to obsess about it and then I’m stuck in this Negative butt hurt state. My weakness pisses me off. Am I never to talk about these behaviors with her? How do I fix it if I don’t like it and keep obsessing about it.
How do handle myself first and foremost and how to handle her when I feel it? What steps should I take in these moments of weakness