So I'm about two months out of a relationship that went south. Things were great for about 3 months and then started to go downhill. I am pretty aware of what happened. We were in my frame to begin with and then shifted to hers. Not a surprise things went south upon this shift.
Outside of maintaining frame and state control, one of the bigger issues I am stuck thinking about is how to deal with the demand you get from every woman to "communicate". It's such a total bullshit demand that always harms the relationship. What I mean is that every time I "communicate" by opening up and sharing my thoughts about the relationship I am usually met with immediate dismissal and whatever it was I shared ends up being thrown in my face at some point. Total fucking trap.
Yup... STFU is the way to go but this, too, can backfire. I just read over /u/sepean's "10 ways to fail at MRP" and it really hit home. I have about half of what he spoke of internalized but tend to slip on the other half. It's tough. I am definitely frustrated at how myopic women are allowed to be in relationships. But I digress...
I really liked the following part of that post:
> Anything she says about you and your marriage is all deception and traps, it’s shit testing. The only thing you should listen for is hooks for your A&As. Other than that, you don’t need to give her answers and under no circumstance should you actually do anything based on what she says.
I was hoping I could get some of you to discuss that quote a little more with me. For the most part, I get it but was hoping some of you could share some anecdotes and wisdom to help me navigate being a "communicator" but not actually fucking communicating.
How the hell are you not communicating and/or listening to your women and laughing in their faces when they get emotional?
My guess is that this is something that gets established early on in that you subtlety communicate that you're not falling for their emotional traps. AND THEN YOU STICK TO THAT FRAME. Sound right? I always seem to get worn down by my SOs when they are behaving well and the relationship is going well. I tend to want to reward her by giving in. Stupid. I know.