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Bored of people who says that I am stupid because I got married at 22yo. Need advices

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dbayraktar
May 28, 2019
13 upvotes
askMRP

I got married at 22 years old and now I am 23.

My wife is 20. We both didn't want to marry so early. I knew everything about the mentality of TRP. It is a long and very annoying reason why I got married. Yes I love my wife if you wonder. But again; we didn't want to marry so early, we just had to because of her dad insisted and threaten us to break up. He is an alcholic man. He asked me to break up with his daughter or he said he would kill me. I didn't give a fuck about him and he locked her daughter to the room for 3 days and then she ended up to came to me and we suddenly got married. I know that sounds very strange or maybe stupid.

Anyway, there is nothing to do. I just want to be happy but I can't because of people who always say that I am a stupid man because I got married so early. They always say that I can't live my life anymore. I can't get other girls when I want bla bla bla....

What is your advices for me? Marriage life is very hard. I have been trying to earn money to get our life in order. We don't want a kid yet. She has some dreams about our future like having a baby, having a beautiful house, living without stress etc. But I don't want to dream like her because I always got a thought in my mind that I can't live forever as a married man. I will die one day and I want to live like a free man. Sometimes I see other single guys who live their life as a free man and I say I wish I didn't get married so early. I don't know.

I know most of you are in your 30s/40s of your life. I know you have got valuable informations to give me about life, marriage. How should I live my life?

Thanks.


Post Information
Title Bored of people who says that I am stupid because I got married at 22yo. Need advices
Author dbayraktar
Upvotes 13
Comments 56
Date 28 May 2019 07:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/239905
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/btx4dw/bored_of_people_who_says_that_i_am_stupid_because/
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Comments

[–]X-Trem024 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you looking for advice or reaffirmation? because from where I am standing it really looks like the second.

You can't be happy because of other people's opinions? Go back to the side bar, please.

side bar, side bar, side bar. Don't ask us to do your work please

[–]stoicstephen12 points13 points  (11 children) | Copy

Damn.

Do you want to be single because people make "fun" of you, or because you really want to be single?

Move the fuck away from her father, go to a different country if you need to. You and your wife are living life in his frame. How can you make your wife follow your lead if there's someone else pulling the strings?

So here's what I would do if I were you...

Follow 100% of the sidebar, you clearly need to read NMMNG and WISNIFG.

Find your core values which will be the foundations for your frame. Then build your frame by defeating challenges and little missions which will be provided to you during your readings of the sidebar.

After you have a solid frame, start to lead your wife out of her father's frame. You can't control your wife, so she will only accept it if she really wants it, and if she really trusts you to be her oak.

After you both get out of her father's frame, you can do "everything" you want. You can divorce her, or not, you can have children, or not, you can go back to being a frameless chump, or not. All up to you.

But if you don't want to do all this "hard" work, go ahead and divorce her. Make sure though to be out of her father's rifle sight.

And I'm not married, so I can't tell you how marriages are like. The only thing you need to know is how you wanna be in this marriage.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

I want to have a frame and do whatever I want to do, but it is not easy as said. I started to read sidebar and follow other advices given in TRP/MRP. They are so helpful for me. But the problem is that my wife doesn't let me to be a strong, masculine, alpha man in our relationship. She gets jealous when I look at other girls out there and it is impossible to talk to other girls. She says she will do the same if I continue to look at them or talk to them. Sometimes she calls her mom and tells about our fight. She threatens me to left me or do whatever she wants to do if I do anything which might makes her angry. She really does what she say.

But we are fine generally. I have been trying to create a frame.

[–]stoicstephen5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

I want to have a frame and do whatever I want to do, but it is not easy as said.

It is never easy, the only way to build frame is to do hard things. If you shed blood through it even better.

But the problem is that my wife doesn't let me to be a strong, masculine, alpha man in our relationship.

Why would she? You clearly don't seem a good candidate to become one. She sees that, and that's why she doesn't let you.

She gets jealous when I look at other girls out there and it is impossible to talk to other girls. She says she will do the same if I continue to look at them or talk to them.

Shit-test.

Sometimes she calls her mom and tells about our fight.

Never fight or argue with women.

She threatens me to left me or do whatever she wants to do if I do anything which might makes her angry. She really does what she say.

Her frame > Your frame (non existant).

But we are fine generally

Ahahah.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thank you for your valuable comment. I will read sidebar and try to have a strong frame (stronger than her). It is hard because I have a fear. I need to exterminate that fear first.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

But the problem is that my wife doesn't let me to be a strong, masculine, alpha man in our relationship.

lololool

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, I like your posts

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

But the problem is that my wife doesn't let me to be a strong, masculine, alpha man in our relationship.

How to lead a wife that doesn't let you

[–]lololasaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, a million times this. Responsibility naturally flows to those who take responsibility.

And his post on boundaries was also incredible.

On that note, I've only seen amazing stuff from him. I'm gonna go look up his posts.

"My wife doesn't let me..."

Yes, I used to say that too.

Now I see it and go 😂😂 - even though I've got a long way to go still.

[–]HB32340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You want to live a single and free life in your original post, and a few comments later you're terrified she is going to leave you. What gives? If you want to be single, tell her you accept her offer the next time she threatens to leave, get a divorce and move on with your life.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

I knew everything about the mentality of TRP

I call bullshit, you don't know anything about TRP. You are a pathetic faggot.

Evidence:

** My English is not very well, so please correct me if I'm wrong **

I've met her in Tinder and now we have a relationship, but I realized something that she has a demand to look other guys. We almost have sex every day, and she never rejects to talk to me at the workplace she works in. The problem is not that. The problem is that we're good, I mean we're almost having sex and we're enjoying while we get together etc, but how can it be possible that this girl looks other guys and makes me feel that she is interested in them?

I don't want to be the jealous guy but she makes me crazy when she looks other guys in street. She works in a company as a sales person with at least 7 guys. A new guy has started to work in there 3 days ago. I realized my GF searched the guy's name on her facebook and when I ask why she did this, she said a girlfriend of her in the workplace, wanted her phone to search someone on Facebook, and she said that she didn't do it , her girlfriend did that. But I don't want to believe it. She makes me the jealous guy when I'm around her but she never tries to do that. I'm just being. Please just give me some tips. I feel bad about this situation. What do you prefer me to do?

asktrp/comments/6rilav/i_think_my_gf_is_interested_in_other_guys_how_to/

Why was this post deleted? askMRP/comments/bo1qe6/wife_checked_my_phone_while_sleeping_and_now_she/

I got married at 22 years old and now I am 23.

Doesn't sound like the actions of someone who knows TRP.

My wife is 20. We both didn't want to marry so early. I knew everything about the mentality of TRP. It is a long and very annoying reason why I got married.

I'm finding you annoying already.

Yes I love my wife if you wonder. But again; we didn't want to marry so early, we just had to because of her dad insisted and threaten us to break up. He is an alcholic man. He asked me to break up with his daughter or he said he would kill me. I didn't give a fuck about him and he locked her daughter to the room for 3 days and then she ended up to came to me and we suddenly got married. I know that sounds very strange or maybe stupid.

well you sure showed him, why hasn't he killed you yet?

Anyway, there is nothing to do. I just want to be happy but I can't because of people who always say that I am a stupid man because I got married so early. They always say that I can't live my life anymore. I can't get other girls when I want bla bla bla....

You claim to know everything about TRP, why aren't you using it?

What is your advices for me? Marriage life is very hard. I have been trying to earn money to get our life in order. We don't want a kid yet. She has some dreams about our future like having a baby, having a beautiful house, living without stress etc. But I don't want to dream like her because I always got a thought in my mind that I can't live forever as a married man. I will die one day and I want to live like a free man. Sometimes I see other single guys who live their life as a free man and I say I wish I didn't get married so early. I don't know.

Why does this girl want to have kids with you? you sound like a child.

No wait, I get it. Her dad is a pathetic alcoholic without control and she sees that in you.

I know most of you are in your 30s/40s of your life. I know you have got valuable informations to give me about life, marriage. How should I live my life?

  • read the sidebar
  • stop being a bitch
  • lift weights
  • shut the fuck up

Thanks.

You're lucky I replied before SBIII did.

[–]redwall927 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're lucky I replied before SBIII did.

Bwahaahahhaa! I started reading your comment, and I had to go back to the top to see if I missed the SBIII tag. Style is different, but the method is similar. Good stuff.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did the exact same double-take...

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I did this too.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes I know everything about the mentality of TRP. I know what I should do or shouldn't do. I just don't do. Because I don't have a courage. I am not a strong man. I just try to be. My life sucks because of me. TRP helps me and gives me motivation to live. But I think I am a weak man. Everyone can make me feel bad. That is my problem.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dont know whats weaker; A man who doesn't know the answers, or a man who knows the answers and still doesnt follow the right path.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

How should I live my life?

Lift, sidebar, STFU.

However the fuck you want. Don't ask us such a unique question to YOUR life. As for the marriage shit - I was married 2 weeks shy of my 22nd birthday. After being with my wife for 5 years prior. Do I regret that decision because of what pussy I may have missed out on? I did once... but you made your decision, you can't go back in time, so you move forward and keep being the best YOU. What you need is some goals. What are your goals? I don't mean for this week, I mean what does your life look like 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now?

Marriage life is very hard.

It doesn't have to be... but you HAVE to put yourself first and foremost. This is the key to your happiness.

living without stress

HAHAHAHA. Not going to fucking happen - to anyone. Don't you dare buy into the fantasy life is supposed to be all white picket fences and happiness. It's hard fucking work - but it's so fulfilling once you start doing that work.

I will die one day and I want to live like a free man

What's stopping you from living like a free man now? Stop thinking you're 'chained down'. That's some negative bullshit right there.

I just want to be happy but I can't because of people who always say that I am a stupid man

This right here is the crux of your entire problem. You care what other people think. There's no shortcut here and you're young. So here's advice I'd give my younger self: you are fucking awesome, you are going to great things, you don't need to give a shit what ANYONE - other people, your friends, your wife, her dad think about you. You are the fucking prize - act like it.

​

But again; we didn't want to marry so early, we just had to because of her dad insisted and threaten us to break up. He is an alcholic man. He asked me to break up with his daughter or he said he would kill me. I didn't give a fuck about him and he locked her daughter to the room for 3 days and then she ended up to came to me and we suddenly got married.

That's some fucked up shit,

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think my biggest problem is thinking that I am chained. First of all I want to feel and believe that I can do anything I want. But some of my actions makes my wife feel bad and even drives her crazy.

Thanks by the way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But some of my actions makes my wife feel bad and even drives her crazy.

​

Do you feel guilty when you say no? There's a book for that. Get to reading.

[–]whakahere5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I knew everything about the mentality of TRP. It is a long and very annoying reason why I got married."

​

Nope, these two sentences don't match. You are wrong in your knowledge about what TRP means. I am sorry but you failed like a beta male and need to re-educate yourself by reading the sidebar.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So you feel bad because people are call you stupid for getting married so early, at 22yo.

Well, duh, stupid. Don't you know 20 1/11th is the prime marrying age for males?

There. Does that make it better. Get enough voices on the other side, then you'll be OK with the choices you've made in life.

Listen man. I don't have valuable information to give you about your life or marriage. You already know what you want. But you're afraid to figure it out and do it. You want something valuable? Then ask yourself what you want. Figure out what you want. Do that work. Then live your life.

[–]Nuwanda2062 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hey there, first, don´t say that you know everything about the TRP mentality, because you clearly don't.

​

I am 31 as of today, but I got married at 24, so I understand how you feel. However, the fact that what is keeping you from being happy is other people's opinion is really fucked up. Read the side bar man, if you rely on other people for happiness you'll live a depressed life forever. Chances are you are disappointed at who you are, you need to focus on yourself and improve yourself instead of blaming other people for your unhappiness.

So I got married at 24, my wife is a gorgeous woman, I fell in love with her and lost my virginity to her. I didn't know anything about RP or anything about what interactions between male and female are really like. I look back now at my 24 y/o Mr. Nice Guy, and I can conclude I got married for the wrong reasons.

That led me to a couple of sexless years, I let myself go and got very fat, got addicted to video games, got drunk every week, and then I found RP. My disconnection process was very painful, but I went through the side bar and I've kept reading and learning ever since. I improved myself, and I am still going down that path, but that led me to feel curious and frustrated about having had only 1 women in my life and that I wouldn't know anything else for my entire life. (I'm guessing you are felling this too, but you are blaming other people).

So long story short, my SMV went up exponentially after my disconnection, I am now a competitive powerlifter in the best shape of my life, I keep my wife happy and she is now submissive and basically worships me. BUT, I couldn't ever get the feeling of "I'll never know what is like to sleep with other women" since I got married a virgin and at 24. So I made a decision and I went to another town for a couple of months, and hooked up with a bunch of gorgeous younger girls, I couldn't even believe it myself, but these girls were extremely hot. Eventually this started to make me depressed and I didn't understand why, so I came up with 2 conclusions:

​

  1. Us men do actually look for an emotional connection when we have sex, otherwise its fun, but you'll end with this "emptiness" feeling afterwards.
  2. Even after studying all the side bar, I put my happiness in other people's hands. I shifted from my wife's frame, to my frame, to random girls' frames. It was really not a matter of sleeping with other women, but rather a matter of building and living within MY frame (that's where true happiness lies).

​

I do not regret anything I've done, because that´s how I learned and came up to those conclusions.

I wish this story helps you, and BELIEVE me when I say that you won't be happier with another woman, or as a single man, you'll just be changing the scenery if you don't fix yourself first.

You'll find true happiness within yourself, read the side bar.

[–]ibelieveican19820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wanted to thank you for writing your history. My story is almost the same - the 1st half anyway. So I appreciate the caution in the second half.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe you are right, I know the happiness is not in other girls. I don’t know what I want, but it would be good for me to fuck any other girl when I want like a single man because they make me horny when I see them in streets. I guess I have got a scarcity mentality. Maybe I should have some other goals to achieve, I dont know...

Thanks for your valuable comment.

[–]SelectAirline1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is a long and very annoying reason why I got married.

No, it really isn't. You were Captain Save-a-Ho for your oneitis, and now you regret it.

The first step toward living like a free man is admitting to yourself that it isn't your marriage that is preventing you from doing so.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow. You sound clueless. The primary reason marriage so young is an issue is that you have little time to understand how to choose a high quality woman. You also have little time to enjoy multiple types of women or learn to develop frame.

Just hg the way you talk it sounds like you are already struggling with basic concepts. For instance, who cares what other people think about you?

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How should I live my life?

Asking this question shows us you have zero frame.

You got bullied into marrying your wife before you wanted to, you're getting pushed around by her and her dreams of your future (spoiler: there's no such thing as living without stress), and you "can't be happy" because people say you're stupid for getting married so early.

You don't have a clue what you want in life or where you're going. What's your dream? What kind of life to do want to live? Do you want to live in a van and eat out of a dumpster? OK, that's aiming low, but you do you. Do you want to own your own house and be financially independent? Good, go do it, and do it because it's your goal, not someone else's goal for you.

If you wife is helping you along that journey to reach your goals and is a benefit to your life, keep her around. If not, divorce her and go do what you want.

Once you know what you want to do in life (a mission), you have something to build your frame on. Until then you'll continue to be a puppet, pushed around by everyone who has the slightest clue what they want and figure out how to pull your strings.

When you develop a mission and some frame, people calling you stupid will be amusing to you instead of shaking you to the core and preventing your from being happy. Your happiness will come from within, and you'll finally be a real boy (in case you missed the reference, look up Pinocchio).

[–]Rogue684860 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You want to be single and project that onto the world.

Own your decision like a man. Then decide if you want to stay married. You made a choice to get in. You make the choice to stay or go.

You were worried youd lose her so you got married.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dont want to divorce now. I think there is no big reasons to get a divorce now but I don’t think I have the courage to divorce/leave her forever even if I got a reason. I love her, but I would like to have a courage to divorce her if I need to.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're stupid because you got married at 22yo.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I got married at 25 and now am in my late 30s. I see for myself that I was an idiot for marrying early. I wish I would have taken the red pill back then. Post divorce my life is so much better. I have learned from the error of my blue pill ways. So yes you're an idiot for marrying young. Deal with it. Life's best teacher is learning from your mistakes.

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to ask her Dad what he wants you to do.

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I got married at 21 and my wife was 18. I’m about to turn 30 and my life is better than ever. It’s not your age or the marriage that’s the problem. It’s you. You’re a dumb bitch.

[–]dbayraktar[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Could you tell me about your life a bit? How do you live your life?

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah I just do whatever I want basically. My wife accepts me and tolerates my shenanigans.

[–]dbayraktar[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But how? My wife always tells me that she will do the same, act like a single woman etc if I do anything which may make her angry. She does not want me to go to the gym for example. I think I dont have abundance mentality and frame

[–]eddielovett0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have to be a strong man. Would a strong man let a woman tell him what to do or even care about her opinion? Just do whatever you want to to the gym if she tries to tell you something just smile and leave.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (13 children) | Copy

Grammar suggests ESL.

​

I think you should talk to your wife about it. Both of you could continue being married and have an open relationship. You can travel and go other places and she can come along if she wants to. Take control of your future and aim at something that you think will make your life better no matter where it is or what it is or what she thinks about it.

​

Move away from the crazy drunk father, look for work 50 or 300 or 1000 miles away from where you currently are. Join the military. Just get away from where you are so only you have control of your life. Worry about the divorce later if your wife doesn't get along with your path, but have her try it first.

[–]ibelieveican19825 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

You know.. you really should not be giving advice.

Talk to the wife? WTF man?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

You must have a shitty wife. You should get a divorce and keep trying.

EDIT: you know what, you are probably right. Speaking with her could be a major error. He needs to choose to leave and choose if she is coming or not. Getting away from a dangerous situation should be his first move, after that his finances need to be secured or dumped somehow before he removes this woman from his life.

It sounds like a wreck.

[–]ibelieveican19820 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I love your flair man.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't even know I was down voted if you didn't say something. Thanks for that.

​

Lots of circle jerking in here and I know I'm the odd man out. Might as well fill the socks with soap and get to slapping me for having alternate advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Flair has a lot to do with my life. I've been lucky as shit. My wife is pretty masculine and a giver. I know 0 women in my life as honorable or hardworking.

Skews my world view on women because mine isn't a piece of shit, however, she also makes all other women look like shit. I have some pretty solid male friends that have some pretty solid wives as well, that also shifts my perception away from typical TRP.

None of it is online friendships, all relationships are around 8-10 years at this point. Some will fall off, fall apart, blow up. Fucking happens. Mine might. I'm expecting it and ready for it, but her father doesn't exist and no father has ever talked down to me or looked down on me in regards to his daughter.

This fucking guy is so lost and so fucked right now, he's gotta protect himself and run, a world apart from even regular average happiness. From where we all stand, a divorce and a job far away is the best option. A dad that lords over your relationship with your wife, where the fuck is he?

Unless these are millionaires, he should be fine. If he's wealthy, and this crazy father is wealthy, he's probably fucked and a moron for even coming here to talk to us.

Like totally fucked, the 'drunk' millionaire will probably just have him killed or keep punking him and looking down on him forever.

I shouldn't have given any advice, I have no perspective on the issue. I'd never be in his shoes and it's a shame he didn't recognize the red flags beforehand.

Something about locking her in a room for days? Fucking crazy world. What the fuck.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Stopped reading at...

I think you should talk to your wife about it.

Talking to this wife of his is the last thing he needs to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eh you are right. I went back and looked over the thread. Not real close tho he just seems fucked.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like you've got a shitty wife too, I didn't write it for you.

Get a divorce and try again.

EDIT: You are dead on, don't read any of my shit I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about after a failed marriage and 30 short term relationships with a large variety of different women from different backgrounds.

Fuck me right? But you have a point, talking to his wife could create a major problem for him, she could pre-preemptively strike and financially wreck him before leaving and heading back to daddy. He needs to get away from the father as soon as possible, offload all financial assets somehow, then sever his relationship with this woman as fast as he can. He probably needs a lawyer and I still believe military would be the best answer.

Fuck me for caring what any of you cunts think about my advice but I appreciate your autistic signalling that I could do a better job helping others.

You should improve your communication though, or fuck the fuck off.

[–]dbayraktar[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks for your advices. I have been thinking to join the military lately but wife doesn’t want me to go because she says she will get bored without me. She said she would want to go outside and hang out with her friends. Her father wants to see and talk to my wife when I am not around. I talked about that and said “I dont want you to go your father when I am not around” and she said she will do it. She did not care about me. But now, I don’t care.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She, she, she...

Do you want to join the military or not?

[–]ibelieveican19821 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

dude, listen to what longroad and countpudyoola said above... they have the best input here for you.

​

Dont think too much. Live your life for you. Lift and read the sidebar. It will take some time before you figure out what you want.. and develop a frame of your own.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you go into the military and leave her behind you get away from her. She will cheat, you will cheat, it will be fantastic.

If you bring her with you, she wont be able to talk to her father without you in person, but she will cheat, I don't know if you will cheat I'm just making a joke about that. Hookers all over the world available to the army guy.

If you want to go, go. Who gives a fuck what she wants? Why can't you get a divorce? Sounds like you should. Sounds like you might want to join the military before you do that. Go airforce if you can. Fuck the other branches unless you are a hard ass and want to go special forces of some kind.

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is shit.

Divorcing a wife while in the military is not good for the soldier.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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