I'm 30, and have came across TRP a couple of months ago - and since then I've become an avid lurker. I just started implementing the advice but it is creating horrible situations for me.
I realized that for the past decade I've been:
- Reading stuff like David DeAngelo and trying to become better
- Still always suffered from oneitis
- Considered plating as harmful and never tried going after more than one
- Started lifting 3 years ago
- Got married 6 months ago, typical Indian arranged marriage scene
- Stopped lifting soon after engagement - had more than 6 months courtship period
- Back to the precise beta I was before I started lifting 3 years ago
I think many of you recent Red-Pill men would relate. Indian society is a little different as parents etc are always involved in well-being of a couple - but women are the same everywhere in the world. Here's a summary of what happened (while I was still blue pill):-
- We both slowly got more and more comfortable with each other before wedding
- My boy-parties almost came to an end. It's become very hard to catch up with one of the buddies
- We both are working. So it was decided that we'll work out the finances according to the ratio of out salary. I'll spend money on 70% of the home expenses. Despite this, I'm paying more than 90% of it.
- She blames me for having bad finances (moderate post-wedding credit card debt etc) - though since wedding, I'm only spending money on where it is required. She's the one who will just log in on amazon at midnight and blow up 10% of her salary on a silly dress or buy a gadget for one of her cousins.
- She'll stop talking for no apparent reason. After reasoning with her for hours, she'll come up with a silly reason about what I did wrong. We had decided that we should share (it's mostly SHE) whatever annoys us RIGHT AWAY so that the situation doesn't escalate. However once in a week, she will be annoyed about anything silly.
She is 5/6 in terms of looks and body. However she graduated from a good school and works with one of the top tech brands. Though I earn 20-30% more than her, she's occasionally commented that I work with a company with obscure name and don't earn much. She's indirectly pointed out that I can't handle finances well because I don't let her buy every stupid thing she wants - and she spends most of her money on buying herself, me, or our family/cousins some gifts time to time. And she isn't willing to change her surname.
Last week, she had been ignoring most of my conversations for four days. That's when I decided to draft this post. When I asked about what's wrong, she said "Nothing". She even watched Game of Thrones finale without me at her work. As she came from work that day, I urged her to talk about what's going on. Again, she said "Nothing" and stormed out of the room. I ignored her behavior for another couple of days and she started spending more hours at work.
After silent treatment for 4 days, I asked her to speak, and she said that she's feeling like I don't respect her, so she wouldn't respect me. I asked her to tell me more about it. After a few minutes of non-submissive conversation from both sides and no apologies from anyone, we were having a great time in bed. However this respect thing still confuses me.
I want expert guidance from you red pill alphas.
There are a few thing I'm going to work on starting this week. (1) Spend time lifting after work, (2) Apply to another job, (3) Catch up with friends this weekend. In retaliation, she will definitely spend more hours at work, may be go out to dine with her friends. She's the kind of a person who will see such a situation escalate rather than diffused..
I need advice from you guys about how I should deal with her. I do not want to become the submissive one in this relationship.
Should I ignore her behavior and enjoy my life? Or Should I scold her for not cooperating?
I"d love to hear your stories about similar situations in your LTR/marriage.