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Indian, Married, Mostly Blue Pill, seeking advice from Red Pill Pros

Reddit View
May 28, 2019
82 upvotes

I'm 30, and have came across TRP a couple of months ago - and since then I've become an avid lurker. I just started implementing the advice but it is creating horrible situations for me.

I realized that for the past decade I've been:

  1. Reading stuff like David DeAngelo and trying to become better
  2. Still always suffered from oneitis
  3. Considered plating as harmful and never tried going after more than one
  4. Started lifting 3 years ago
  5. Got married 6 months ago, typical Indian arranged marriage scene
  6. Stopped lifting soon after engagement - had more than 6 months courtship period
  7. Back to the precise beta I was before I started lifting 3 years ago

I think many of you recent Red-Pill men would relate. Indian society is a little different as parents etc are always involved in well-being of a couple - but women are the same everywhere in the world. Here's a summary of what happened (while I was still blue pill):-

  1. We both slowly got more and more comfortable with each other before wedding
  2. My boy-parties almost came to an end. It's become very hard to catch up with one of the buddies
  3. We both are working. So it was decided that we'll work out the finances according to the ratio of out salary. I'll spend money on 70% of the home expenses. Despite this, I'm paying more than 90% of it.
  4. She blames me for having bad finances (moderate post-wedding credit card debt etc) - though since wedding, I'm only spending money on where it is required. She's the one who will just log in on amazon at midnight and blow up 10% of her salary on a silly dress or buy a gadget for one of her cousins.
  5. She'll stop talking for no apparent reason. After reasoning with her for hours, she'll come up with a silly reason about what I did wrong. We had decided that we should share (it's mostly SHE) whatever annoys us RIGHT AWAY so that the situation doesn't escalate. However once in a week, she will be annoyed about anything silly.

She is 5/6 in terms of looks and body. However she graduated from a good school and works with one of the top tech brands. Though I earn 20-30% more than her, she's occasionally commented that I work with a company with obscure name and don't earn much. She's indirectly pointed out that I can't handle finances well because I don't let her buy every stupid thing she wants - and she spends most of her money on buying herself, me, or our family/cousins some gifts time to time. And she isn't willing to change her surname.

Last week, she had been ignoring most of my conversations for four days. That's when I decided to draft this post. When I asked about what's wrong, she said "Nothing". She even watched Game of Thrones finale without me at her work. As she came from work that day, I urged her to talk about what's going on. Again, she said "Nothing" and stormed out of the room. I ignored her behavior for another couple of days and she started spending more hours at work.

After silent treatment for 4 days, I asked her to speak, and she said that she's feeling like I don't respect her, so she wouldn't respect me. I asked her to tell me more about it. After a few minutes of non-submissive conversation from both sides and no apologies from anyone, we were having a great time in bed. However this respect thing still confuses me.

I want expert guidance from you red pill alphas.

There are a few thing I'm going to work on starting this week. (1) Spend time lifting after work, (2) Apply to another job, (3) Catch up with friends this weekend. In retaliation, she will definitely spend more hours at work, may be go out to dine with her friends. She's the kind of a person who will see such a situation escalate rather than diffused..

I need advice from you guys about how I should deal with her. I do not want to become the submissive one in this relationship.

Should I ignore her behavior and enjoy my life? Or Should I scold her for not cooperating?

I"d love to hear your stories about similar situations in your LTR/marriage.


Post Information
Title Indian, Married, Mostly Blue Pill, seeking advice from Red Pill Pros
Author redpillnoob42
Upvotes 82
Comments 97
Date 28 May 2019 09:10 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/239917
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/btxsmr/indian_married_mostly_blue_pill_seeking_advice/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]MajesticPitch104 points105 points  (8 children) | Copy

Indian here. Our culture is shitty af. She is most likely feeling somewhat level of superiority over you because she works for a bigger company. Before your marriage her family probably have made comments like that. She knows you won't divorce - our culture has some crazy stigma to it.

Go read 12 levels of dread. Start implementing dread. Start withdrawing - heck she might not even be attracted to you. Her ego is almost as big as the amount of autism on reddit. Our culture places loads of emphasis on education, because she's female + educated she most likely thinks she is the top dog. Hence why she disrespects you.

Things to do:-

  1. Stop giving a shit what she has to say. She's going silent? Guess you're going silent and talking to other girls

  2. She's feeling like you don't respect her? You mean that you won't lead her. Stop looking for her approval

  3. She watched game of thrones finale? Guess what, you're going out with a female friend/co-worker to watch a movie.

  4. She wants to buy some random shit from amazon? Guess you're buying some new clothes to attract a new woman

  5. She wants to send money to her family? - I know this too well believe me our people feel some obligation to always send money home. Guess you're going over to go party with some buddies.

If she disagrees with what you are doing or yells at you. Just laugh at her, don't argue or engage. Just carry on what you are doing. Tell her straight "You aren't sending money back home." If she starts giving you shit. Just say "Ok that's cool." And go outside.

Let her fucking hamster run wild. Keep your life more mysterious. She'll fill in the gaps with wild shit like you're having threesomes and shit.

Edit:- You're being played too. She's fucking training you to be a beta bitch. She rewards you with sex everytime you play her shitty game where she withdraws her attention. If possible I'd fucking divorce. Or if you are feeling evil, go fucking cheat. Fucking cheat, she'll divorce and because she was married before her value will decrease - Indian society amiright?

[–]ggggggggee14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read this OP

[–]watchguy4510 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s brainwashed into thinking because she’s educated and works at a major company that she’s got high SMV. Lol.

OP needs to get jacked, be playful and learn a martial art. She’s not giving him respect because he’s not worthy of it right now. I don’t say this to be mean but let’s be honest. He lifted for 3 years and gives it up for some girl that’s a 5 that he’s known for 6 months. Never do this

Read some personal finance books. Become so fucking smart that any shit she throws at you , you know to.

OP has his whole life ahead of him. Time to decide what type of man he wants to be and what type of life he wants to live

[–]BluffButt8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Edit resonates with me personally.

To play judge and executioner has a bad stigma but more less the correct thing to do in intersexual relations

[–]HurricaneHugues7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too much nonsense. That whole tit for tat nonsense is for unstable lesbian couples and gay dudes. He needs to just walk away. The marriage was a lie from the start. He needs to divorce her yesterday and go build his life how he wants it. Fuck their expectations

[–]TheHumbleAfrican4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on

[–]hazelstein9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

When she starts Yapping just go outside.
Let herself feed on her emotions.
DO READ THIS.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow! The best response that precisely address my issue.

[–]MajesticPitch5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah bro, all women are like that. The only thing different in your situation is that she can't branch swing due to our culture, so she just builds up resentment.

Follow this plan through, she'll get the idea soon that you'll leave.

[–]IntialFarts89 points90 points  (5 children) | Copy

You really need to read the rational male. It will answer most of your questions. Until then just remember dgaf attitude and don't show anger/frustration, just treat her like a child.

As a man in a desi marriage you have the financial responsibility upon you. You can't shake off this stigma, this expectation so take it as is.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 30 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great to see a fellow desi in TRP! Thanks for the advice.

[–]The-Wizard-of-Oz-3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah me too. The short answer would be to stop emotionally investing. Don't be drastic but ensure that you're life isn't affected by her moods etc. Have life of your own.

She watched the Got finale without you? So what? Get some personal hobbies, esp development going on th side. Weightlifting isn't everything it's given way too much importance in this sub. However a great physique is super helpful.

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's some weak shit. Get out of your damn marriage and build your life according to your own philosophy, not according to what your parents tell you or what your family and society expects of you

[–]IntialFarts2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I did not want to burst his bubble yet, he clearly hasn't read the side bar and is asking for advice on (what I think is a) trivial matter. He should take it step by step and not go gung-ho and destroy his marriage/life.

That's just my approach, you are free to burst his bubble in the comments if you want to.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Still going through some of the stuff on the sidebar. Some of the advice is not perfectly applicable - but still learning, and trying my best.

[–]Westerncaesar[🍰] 51 points52 points  (1 child) | Copy

Scold her? She will just laugh at you! First you need to get your life back and STFU while you do it, that means you don't tell her anything about what your doing. Then you need to get yourself over to MRP and stay there for 2 years at least, absorb as much as that they offer as you can!

You have to unfuck yourself first, you are too weak to be making any demands from anyone. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.

[–]its-mystery41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

Because you’re married, she’s taking you for granted. She knows you are locked with her and she has you to provide for her. Because it is arranged, she may even not be attracted towards you. Ignore what she does. Don’t chase her. Make her chase you. Do what you like and don’t let her consume your thoughts. Don’t do beta shit. Period

[–]Yashugan0022 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

next stop: she's going to get so fat

[–]its-mystery9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Marriage is a disaster

[–]MatSapientia26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can get small tips from here and there but your problem won’t be fixed if your mindset is the same. It could as well be destructive for your marriage and your social reputation.

I usually recommend the rational male for anyone wanting to learn about TRP. But for your case I would strongly recommend your “No more mr nice guy by Robert Glover “ as a first step. Then go for the rational male for more detailed understanding, go through all three books of the rational male in order.

Your marriage is still fixable. But keep the possibility of it’s end in the back of your head. She obviously didn’t submit to you, you need to learn to draw your boundaries first. Your case is a very typical nice guy case. Nice guy book will help you lots.,

Level 1: break out of nice guy syndrome - no more mr nice guy.

Level 2: swallow TRP - rational male books

Level 3: game her and apply dread if necessary DARE, never DEER.

Be patient through these levels, first level alone will help you a lot.

[–]catriel253 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

Also, in your place I would avoid the exercises that involves talking about the changes that your are making with your partner.

[–]MrAgamemnon119 points120 points  (5 children) | Copy

Get rid of her before she gets pregnant.

[–]pussymail10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice right here

[–]TheHumbleAfrican7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Couldn't have been said better.

[–]hazelstein7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

THIS! If she gets pregnant, and you divorce her. forget your kids will respect you.

[–]xx-Rain_Maker-xx11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the best advice. Get a girl that respects you. Your parents aren't going to live your life for you.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Big facts. That's where the problem is. The marriage was a lie from the start.

[–]fatbloop20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Fellow Indian here and here's my advice: Get the fuck out of there. You're still 30. You have your prime years left. You're going to regret not spending time plating and enjoying your freedom. I know it's going to be hard because families get involved but get your family to see your side of the story. Tell them she's a manipulative bitch and you will end up broke if you stick around with here. The whole "she's spending more time at work" is bullshit. She's going to end up cheating on you if she isn't doing that already. Simply because she doesn't respect you.

Now, if you don't want to get divorced, here's what you do: get over to Married Red Pill and read up EVERYTHING they've got. Read The Rational Male. Read 12 levels of dread. Start lifting 4 times a week atleast. Fix your diet. Start being assertive at home and treat her like a child. Your house, your rules. Start fucking her like an animal. Read Sex God Method if needed. Show her that you're the prize. Show her that if she isn't going to follow your rules then you're ready to leave her and move onto someone better. This needs to be done covertly - you don't explicitly say it.

I'd still recommend you get the fuck out of there. Think about it: do you REALLY want to spend the REST of your life with her? Start talking to other women now so that you have abundance by the time you actually do get divorced. Plate a bunch of girls till you're 35. Get married to someone you actually like, someone who's more submissive, loyal and better looking. If you stick with her, things will get worse when you have kids, I promise you that.

Godspeed brother.

[–]Nuwanda2064 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

lifting 4 times a day might get him to Mr. Olympia and gain his wife's love back

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If he doesn't want to dovorce her then there is nothing else he can do that would make sense. The marriage was a lie from then start. He didn't pick the chick and he was forced to marry because of tradition and expectations. Until he can retake his freedom and live on his own terms, he'll always be her and everyone's bitch.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Until". My username says it all. Just starting out. I know I've a long way to go. Thanks you fellas.

[–]testanum16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women shouldn't be a man's priority in life- his priority should be his own tasks and goals he has set himself. Stop making your wife your priority. Stop worrying about her and stop playing her stupid games. You should always be focusing on yourself, so your first priority is to start lifting again and get back to your previous state.

As for the wife... You should've never got married in the first place. I understand that your culture is obviously quite different from most on this subreddit, yet despite this her attitudes and female patterns are still the same with every married woman regardless of country or culture. I cannot stress to you enough how important and better off you would be if you got out of this marriage. I understand it could cause problems with your family, but all this marriage is doing is holding you back. India has a massively growing economy, the money you invest in your wife could be invested in growing market, and before long you could be making a lot of money. Without her you would be saving so much time, emotional thought etc. Get rid of her.

I understand that advice may not be what you're looking for but these problems you're experiencing with her are only going to get worse, and then before you know it she's pregnant and you won't be able to leave the marriage without paying her half your net worth or more. However, for the current moment, just stop giving a fuck. Improve yourself, stop trying to bitch boy a response from her and stop trying to match her needs, she should match yours. She is pulling away from you too get a response which you are giving. Stop caring when she does, and she'll realise her games won't work. Hold frame.

[–]boom_bostic15 points16 points  (12 children) | Copy

Ok, let me just start off by saying that you’re going to get a lot of posts saying “drop her” or “next her” or something to that effect. I have noticed that many men on this sub cannot deal with their problems so their first instinct is to run.

I propose to you a little different idea. Women, just like yourself, have also been incorrectly primed by society to be a horrible spouse. But as a man, you can fix your problems if you so have the desire and willpower. Women are like mirrors and can help you become a better man.

If that’s your view as well, then you’ll probably understand my response.

First thing. She wouldn’t take your last name. Major red flag. You should have addressed that before the wedding. You have now communicated that you are willing to bend over for her whenever she needs it. Her wants trump your needs. It’s too late to dwell on this bc you’re already married so I’d try to address that later.

Second thing. Quit chasing her around, trying to fix the communication in the relationship—that’s her job. If she’s not talking, don’t talk...unless you have some sort of information to pass along like “can you pick up some groceries tonight” or “meet me at restaurant at 7” or something pertinent like that. It is her job to make the relationship a fulfilling experience for herself....& she will do so but if you’re hounding her about it (appearing needy), all she can focus on is how it’s making her angry that you’re not being a man about it. She’s trying to communicate this to you (by getting angry) but you just continue. Stop it already.

When you do stop hounding her, you’ll realize you have a lot more time to yourself. Use this time to improve yourself. That’s what she wants. A real man. Become that man & it will ultimately put her in her rightful place. I promise. Do your work (on yourself) & your problems will subside. As men, we often see a problem and we think it’s easier to go fix the problem than to fix ourselves. You can’t change the world but you sure can change yourself.

[–]watchguy451 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

I agree with everything you said here ... BUT he should still leave

He will may way better strides improving himself without this woman spending all his money and btw he’s still going to have to commit SOME time doing family commitments etc.

[–]boom_bostic2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

The woman is not his problem, she is merely a symptom of his problem.

He has been letting people walk over him for some time now. He needs to focus on bettering himself and stop worrying about fixing her. It’s like cleaning up the blood from a cut on the skin. The blood dripping is causing you a problem. It’s getting everywhere, on your clothes, on furniture and people are looking at you crazy. The solution isn’t to quickly address the blood but to address the actual wound itself.

The woman will began to change once he becomes the respectable man she needs him to be. She treats him this way because he allows it.

Now, she may, in fact, need to be dropped...but that’s a last ditch resort. You don’t just drop her because she’s as damaged as you. The fact is: a real man would have the woman towing the line. He can become that man.

[–]watchguy451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fair enough. If he makes these changes and she’s still a nightmare he can drop her though.

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. Most definitely!!

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

He didn't choose the woman, he didn't choose to get married. It was all forced onto him by his parents. If he wsnts to clean up his life, he has to start from the top, which is ditching his parent's wife and marriage.

[–]boom_bostic1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

For starters, in both of your replies you state that I either alluded to or said directly that it is his job to fix this wife of his.

Never would I have said or inferred this. No need in waisting time talking about it.

So back to the response, I can see both sides of the coin as a legitimate solution to his problem.

However, I think you’re reading too much between the lines. This guy had time to vet this chick enough to know that there were red flags.

I also don’t believe as you seem to think that he was forced into this marriage. I think his parents presented him with this girl (which would be common) & the beta in him jumped for joy & went along with it.

Precisely my point is that he needs to not let people walk over him. That’s his problem that he needs to fix.

He can get divorced but the problem still exists. Ditching the girl doesn’t fix his problem. It may make it easier on him but I doubt this bc it’s actually bc of her that he’s having to address his shortcomings (beta tendencies) as a man.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I didn't read any of this

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Busy reading DC comics? Single. Parents Basement. No experience. Next.

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's cute

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

HurricaneHugues, just of of curiosity—are you single (not married) & without children?

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Irrelevant

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He can fix his problems, you're right, but he can't fix other people. His marriage was a lie from the start. It was an arranged marriage. Meaning he didn't get to choose and properly vet the girl, and he was forced to marry becUse of parental expectations. The whole foundation of his marriage was a giant lie.

I don't know where you're coming fron with this bullshit of "fixing". There is nothing to fix. The guy is 30 and has his whole life ahead of him. He needs to ditch this bitch and beta mindset and rebuild his life on his own term. The pkanet is populated with billions of women. There is no point in wasting time trying to fix people. He needs to ditch the bitch, and start fresh on his own terms. His parent's expectations can fuck off.

[–]topmatrixgun6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hey, man. Indian guy here. Firstly, congratulations for your marriage. However, I am not sure whether I should say something because neither I'm married nor I'm much experienced with women.

Whatever experience I have it says that women are the same, be it Indian or American. They operate in the same way. I got a good example today morning how psycho they go when you stop giving them attention. That's the fuel they run on. But, that's a story for another day.

For now, I would suggest you to read the sidebar of trp, asktrp, and marriedtrp. Then read the No More Mr Nice Guy, Rationale Male, and Models. And in the meantime devote time in your work (change job/get a raise) and workout like a beast.

And no. Don't be angry in front of her. Release your frustrations in the gym. The one who angers you conquers you. Be a rock. The rock on which she can hold onto while she's riding on her emotions. Remember, frame is everything. The stronger you are, more submissive she will be.

And about the time before arranged marriage when the couple is allowed to meet so that they get to know each other. This is the moment the guy mostly fucks up. He does the most beta shit during these times and pays the entire life.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I did my best to avoid beta shit till almost the wedding time. As I developed more and more feelings, and started caring more, I think I swallowed the whole blue pill right in front of her.

[–]topmatrixgun5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not over yet. If you play your cards right, she will definitely become your loving wife. First, get your shit together. Your job, workout, and diet. All the best, brother. Do let us know what happens.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

u/riggedved , enlighten the fellow Indian

[–]ChadTheWaiter1006 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she watched game of thrones without you that’s a wrap.

[–]_thekinginthenorth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha exactly!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound to me like a man without a purpose. It really isn't about what she does in your day to day, but what you're doing. Men easily get comfortable in marriages and you got to make sure that you're not losing your self. Thats when they usually start bitching, or just flat out ignoring you.

Self-development stuff is good and all, but you got to be your true self as a man and can't bend under the pressure of your woman.

[–]maverick97595 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Which part dude ? ( Writing this from Banglore rn )

I'll tell you something basic. Start with not needing her for anything. Fuck do you need women for anything except sex anyway ? Rub one out for a while. Focus on bettering yourself and making yourself the source of which produces everything you need. But you do need the sex, there's no denying that. I don't think you're willing to cheat, marriage was the first mistake, that too arranged. I would have suggested to not marry until you train a girl enough so that she becomes a ride or die girl, now it would be difficult to train your already wife to become that but it will be worth it. Start by transforming yourself, hold rock hard frame, " my way or the highway " attitude. Also start applying some soft dread along with everything above to spark arousal. Once she is aroused because you've been lifting and bettering yourself and the dread, she will need you, but you've also trained yourself to not need her, then your power dynamics of relationship will change.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

It was actually "my way or the highway" attitude I'm learning from reading TRP that probably triggered her. But as I read more and more I feel this is a part of the process.

[–]maverick97593 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can have that attitude but if there's not an incentive for her to comply to you, it will backfire. Thus, pay hard attention, do reward/incentivize good behavior when you see it. You will eventually see it without a doubt if your SMV keeps rising.

[–]Throwawayxpmod1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But as I read more and more I feel this is a part of the process.

Exactly.Women crave attention much more than men.Look at the attention whoring going on social media,it's vastly women.Your silent treatment hurts her ten times more than your silent treatment.

It looks like you don't have fun on your own.Cultivate some hobbies/do some part time job/learn something new,just waste your time contemplating about your issues with your wife.

Not taking your last name is a huge red flag though.You should have a long term plan to turn that ship around.

[–]theboldmind0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nin hesaru yennu?

[–]maverick97590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not born/brought up here, I came from North 3 years ago.

[–]Bleu_Cheese_Pursuits 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I think you need to realize that because of hypergamy/aggrandizement, nothing is ever going to be enough. You can get a new job, double the salary, move into a bigger house, and you know what will happen? Your wife will complain that it is not as big as the neighbors. So then you start working even more to buy her the stuff that she wants. Then when you're not around as much, she'll complain that you're "distant" and "emotionally unavailable" and use those as excuses to cheat on you; when really the truth is that she'll be disgusted by how pathetic you are that you were willing to work that hard just to appease a woman to begin with. So in other words you can spend money on her, and get her nice things...but you have to make her work for it. She has to earn it.

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is a problem and the only solution to that problem is thankfully just to focus and invest on your self. Let her go if she wants to go but never stop investing on your self.

[–]spongemarble2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should implement red pill ideology in day to day life but give her a sweet romantic date night once a week and once a weekend. This is probably why she is angry, you stopped being romantic. When she complains about you being distant or not spending time with her say, "I am looking forward to our date on Saturday". You should schedule these dates so she knows they occur. If she acts up you are not as attentive on the date. If she behaves well that week you are very sweet and attentive on the date. She will soon figure out what gets her a good date and what gets her a bad one. For this to work you need to learn how to take a woman on a red pill date. You need to be leading the whole time, have an activity (play, concert) and a dinner (restaurant or cooked by you) planned. Never let her plan a date, but you can ask her if any recent activities interest her. Entertain her, show sexual attention and make her feel sexually desired. She wants to be the envy of other women. Take her home and have sex. Afterwards dont be too lovey dovey, just tell her you had fun last night and smirk.

[–]Siccunt993 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She even watched Game of Thrones finale without me

Instant divorce.

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Damn that's treason.

[–]redpillnoob42[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I challenged her for a trial by combat

[–]uglytoadinsauce2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lost it at Game of Thrones

[–]sebastianconcept2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

By all means do not make her pregnant unless you are absolutely convinced you fixed all this, which you seem to know is quite challenging to say the least.

As the other guys told you already, read No More Nice Guy and all three book of The Rational Male (in order).

While you do that, be sure you use your discipline in keep improving yourself in these 3 dimensions:

  1. looks (95% of it is diet and lift)
  2. game (TRP community and books will help you on this)
  3. affluence

Best!

P.S.: guys seriously should stop marrying

[–]Yashugan002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

points 4 and 5:

welcome to the betafication slide, this is where she trains you. it's similar to dog training, punishment and reward, hot and cold, and plenty of nagging and criticism to put you in the defensive.

DON'T D.E.E.R.

(defend, explain, excuse, rationalise)

You will naturally try 2 strategies: "avoid" or "give in" just to get a moment's rest. these strategies won't work, women HAAAAAAATE a doormat. you'll find she will intensify her disrespect and direct even mure sudden anger on you. she'll know what she does is wrong, but she can't help it, and will resent you for not standing up to her.

other tactics that are going to be just around the corner:

  • isolate you from your friends, at first by making you feel guilty for having fun without her.

  • dissuade you from working out. because that would mean you're setting an expectation of similar effort on her that she's just not willing to put in any more (since you are married, she probably is looking forward to letting go and getting fat)

I won't sugar coat it for you: Because of your married status, any ground you gave up is going to be hard to recover. you have an uphill battle.

[–]perplexedm2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

And she isn't willing to change her surname.

Totally un-Indian. This part alone should land in a split.

Ideally, spending for family should be at your sole discretion and you should be the one controlling combined finances. She should get a minimal quota on spending even her own money. India have it's own ways which is naturally RPed, unless everybody got BPed these days. okay, depends on the partner you selected too...

Unfortunately, divorces is more serious of a problem for Indian men these days than for westerners since in recent years law makers copied all western laws without considering Indian cultural realities. Most Indians have to keep their legacy which will become extremely difficult after divorce. If case you are a free bird that will be comparatively easy.

[–]hazelstein1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

get rid of her.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Big facts

[–]miya3162 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP don't you dare delete this post because it's a gold mine. All the best to you.

[–]pdiggs15002 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Canadian Desi here, I understand that some of the advice here on this forum will sound crazy at first, but it all makes sense.

I've seen countless family members, and friends go Blue Pilled within their first few years of marriage. Realize that all of a sudden, Indian women have become a)financially independent, and b)less submissive. Does she even cook roti for you? For an Indian woman, being married is her first piece of true freedom, and she doesn't know what she wants. Currently, it looks like she is trying to wear the pants in the relationship. You don't need to scold her but treat her like a child. Don't give a fuck, and maintain your frame. Continue lifting, buy nice clothes and don't look for a new job because she says so

Unfortunately, our Indian culture has become extremely Blue-Piled, and we don't even know it. You really need to read (or listen to the audiobooks) The Rational Male by Rolo Tomassi, or even download the widely available PDF 'Book of Pook', these will give you insights on where your place in the world should be.

[–]falconiawillfall2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm Canadian desi too and it makes me laugh when my parents say that if I don't find a chick to marry on my own, they'll help me find one. It's a shitshow out there man, a beautiful, traditional and submissive woman is rare to find.

[–]Pooddit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me this is just a bunch of shit tests. The good news is she acts like a typical woman-child so it's easy to navigate once you understand what is going on. She's feeling insecure in the dynamics of the relationship (your masculinity).

Marriage can mean now you are a whipped wimp. She is insecure in that she has a job as well as you. The women she works with and society is promoting non-traditional roles and lifestyles that shake the polar and rigid gender roles that make women happy. It's making her shaky on what to do. She shouldn't be in a position to make these decisions. You need guide her into a traditional role i.e. not having a job and you working. Bring home stories of chaos that you conquered to keep her secure and not needing to rock the boat.

She is alarmed that you are not lifting weights anymore. Weightlifting every day as a man is a physical manifestation of a captain (man's mind) and his ship (man's body) driving through rough seas (woman's emotions representing the chaos of life) maintaining the course. She is rocking the boat on purpose, it's her biological nature to do so when the man is not focused and strong. She wants you to be a captain. You as a man define the reality by staying solid, piercing all the bullshit that anything throws at you, avoiding the obstacles that cannot be pierced, but always maintaining course.

The silent treatment. Do you sail your ship any which way based on your feelings? No. Your feelings will pull you everywhere and nowhere and will result in poor decision making and death out in the chaos of nature. She does the silent treatment not only to make you feel bad, but to help you recognize that you are too controlled by your feelings. Strengthen yourself against it. Care, but don't let it control you. Go to the damn gym. Take care of your business. Keep pushing toward your goals. Be ready for when she sees you being a man and comes back to comfortably be you co-captain. Never chase a woman. Chase being a man, and demonstrate that to her and she will come around. But only if you are truly willing to sail past her if she gets in the way of you maintaining course.

[–]MCA_T1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

yo get rid of that bitch bro, and get rid of your family if they are trying to control your life and tell you what to do ( they are not doing it to help you they are doing it because its the sad little last peace of control they have) your a 30 year old man, you are accountable to no one

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Big facts

[–]MCA_T1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

do not quit your job or change because this unhappy toxic black hole of a bitch tells you too

[–]dbz0x1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In my honest opinion she seems way far gone due to her upbringing. You can temporarily improve your situation but long term it doesn’t seem worth it. You need to let her go and start fresh. How is this worth it if she’s barely a 6? Cut it off before a kid is involved and enjoy the game as a single man. Don’t get caught up in the marriage trap but if you really want to, find the right girl with TRP principles in mind.

[–]JarydNei1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

“I just started implementing and it’s going horrible for me” Dude. It’s “the red pill”. Don’t seek advice here.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wtf are u doing here then?

[–]RasAlGhul9111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fellow Indian friend here. Never read RP theory, dont even need to, because logic triumphs vague principles. Not married, but i pick and choose who i wanna be with for what time.

Step 1: Only expose your dominant side. No sharing your weak feelings with her. You feel weak, or demotivated - catch up with a friend or gym, or make a party plan. Women dont respect weakness - whatsoever they may want you to believe.

Step 2: Turn the guilt onto her. You compliment her (mostly in a sexy way possible) when she's on good behavior, and be happily inward when she's on bad behavior. This is how you train good behavior. After her bad behavior you say "Baby(or whatever) look at all the fun we have during that(when she was behaving good).

Step 3: good behavior(you spend on her), bad behavior (friends, spend on yourself) while making her see she's not behaving right.

Step 4: You dont fight. You dont yell, you dont do anything wherein you become the guilt taker.

Step5: Always have a side life. Hobbies, regular gym, interest in good clothing, ambitious career. When she's giving you trouble, you focus here. When she's being good - you reward her with the things she like(i hope you know those things atleast)

These people recommending divorces, next her etc are stupid. They dont know India works. Laws are massively in her favor, and not to mention the stress it puts on the person.

[–]TURBOHEKTIK1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

what did you expect from an arranged marriage

[–]HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right?

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Divorce. You choose to live in the West. Fuck India and don't even bother bringing those values over here. File first and file hard. She makes more money? Make her pay alimony.

She's going to make the rest of your life a living hell. I'm surprised your parents didn't even see that coming if they made you marry her.

Buy a really nice car, go to the clubs and get some hoes.

The problem is she has the Western sense of entitlement while treating you like a goddamned expendable insurance policy. She'll never respect you. Your ancient traditional Indian value system she doesn't subscribe to, so why should you?

Get a lawyer experienced with Indian divorces.

Say she was abusive emotionally. I'd rather fuck my hand then walk on eggshells for the rest of my life when all she really needs is a good solid slug to the mouth.

GTFO brother.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She obviously resents you.
You will be lucky if the kids are yours.

Who cares about family ties, cut them, tell anyone who complains to go fuck themselves.

Or don't and enjoy your shitty life.

You wouldn't be the first man to do it, nor the last.

[–]neoda10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Are you in the USA or ASIA?

[–]hazelstein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Asia.

[–]FreedomEpiphany0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right, in this situation, I would advocate for complete independence from each other to grow yourself while still being in a relationship. If you feel better and want to stick around with that person over the world, do that, if not, do that too. If you both don't give a f about society, you will choose each other for the right reasons instead of comfort and, will be an example for people to follow who don't have that kind of freedom in relationships. Good luck.

[–]professor_mcamateur0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

boy parties

lol wut now

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you don't ask he won't have to tell

[–]professor_mcamateur0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

multiculturalism really weirds me out sometimes

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol you know what he meant.

[–]wadokai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro. I'm in a similar situation but I'm ending it.

I would suggest you do the same, unless you're 100% SURE THIS PERSON IS WORTH YOUR EMOTIONS, MONEY, AND TIME.

If you can do better, but haven't tried, then fck this shit and move on.

Most Indian girls BPD, one moment she's fine but you didn't please her so she's crazy.

Read the rationale male. Seriously.

[–]dusara2170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read The Way of the Superior Man. It's essentially a guide to being the dominant party in a marriage or LTR as well as a guide to having a better sex life

[–]catriel250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All the advice that you are getting here is great, but I want you to notice this simple thing: right now, your wife is the center of your world.

To make any change, you need to notice this first. Don't try to be "more redpilled", to increase your SMV, or to do ANYTHING to get more sex, respect or anything from your wife. In your mindset you should be doing all that BECAUSE OF YOU, because it makes you a better person.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's an arranged marriage, therefore it was never real in the first place. Don't force it. That girl is your parents' wife, not yours. You're better off cutting your losses and divorcing her. You only have one life to live dude. You don't want to be the guy who resents his dead parents because he was too weak to stand up to them when they were telling him how to live his life.

Disregard any other advice given to you in this thread if it doesn't start with you dissolving this fake marriage and getting away from that garbage culture. You need to run FAR!

[–]BurningOrangeHeaven0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man, arranged marriages for us Indians simply aren't what they used to be. Chicks have mad attitude now and are basically being infected with feminist ideals, divorce rates are definitly going up. My family sometimes tries to bring up getting married to a girl from India, like she physically lives in India (im from nyc) and i always say no with some dumb joke to make them fuck off.

For your fincial arguement you need to get her to set up an automatic transfer to a shared account at the beginning of the month and make it around half of what the bills are. Thats my opinion atleast.



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