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My neighbor sent a message on Instagram to a girl I brought over

Reddit View
May 30, 2019
113 upvotes

Memorial Day weekend at my apartment complex and the community pool was the place to be. I brought a girl I've been seeing for 2 months with me and introduced her to some people, including my neighbor. I don't mate-guard and keep things at a chill/friendly vibe with everyone at my pool. She talked to a lot of girls at the pool and I had a good chat and beer with my neighbor.

2 days later this dude somehow found the girl I brought over to the pool's Instagram profile and sent her a direct msg a couple of days late saying "great to hang out this weekend"

She showed me last night and laughed it off saying "how guys are creepy and just don't care"

It just a weasel move from my perspective. How would you handle it? Any different that he is my neighbor?


Post Information
Title My neighbor sent a message on Instagram to a girl I brought over
Author EnlightenedViking
Upvotes 113
Comments 65
Date 30 May 2019 06:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/240225
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/buwsdr/my_neighbor_sent_a_message_on_instagram_to_a_girl/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]herrazki166 points167 points  (24 children) | Copy

lol did you notice how she laughed ? it's her way of saying to you '' look I am pretty and guys hit on me " plus she dosen't find him attractive hence the laugh. And why would you care ? Ltr ? no ? plate ? non.. move on !

[–]EnlightenedViking[S] 52 points53 points  (22 children) | Copy

only reason I care is because I myself wound't message a neighbors plate or girl he brings to a pool on a weekend. It's a weasel thing to do in my opinion and I thought it might be better to just call out that bullshit.

But there is something to just saying nothing and knowing he's just being a little bitch and moving on

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten79 points80 points  (0 children) | Copy

Creeps gonna creep. One plate had car trouble and some weirdo neighbor came over and tried to sleaze. Asked for her phone then added his # and sent totally unsubtle shit asking for her insta

She was whining about not wanting to be in her apartment so I told her to come over and I'd fuck her troubles away.

Don't forget that women do legitimately have to be worried about these nasty fucks. But lead her into your frame and be the man. Teach them ignoring is best

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (8 children) | Copy

You've learned not to invite him to your parties in future.

[–]mrpoopistan19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's a shit test with a big side of validation.

She wants to see if you'll freak out.

[–]AscensionExperiments34 points35 points  (6 children) | Copy

thirsty beta boys are everywhere man. You can't trust them. Think of it this way- Lions earn their meal by the honest hunt. Jackals or coyotes or hyenas 'earn' their meal by swooping in on the lion's work. Taking sloppy seconds or stealing before the lion is done. Beta men are hyenas/jackals-- no honour, only thirst.

[–]okuli25 points26 points  (5 children) | Copy

Taking sloppy seconds or stealing before the lion is done

Come on, Alpha would have no trouble exchanging phone numbers with a girl that was brought to a party by Billy beta. Hitting on girls at every opportunity is a male thing, regardless of alpha/beta. Methods might be different, though.

[–]AscensionExperiments8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

the method was the important part, aye. This guy slipped into her dm's while OP was away, that's not an alpha's technique

[–]Ill_mumble_that8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looking up some girls profile and creeping is pretty sleazy.

Just ask her for it. She will give it if you are worthy. If you aren't worthy, get worthy.

[–]markinsinz79 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're wrong . It's creepy cause OPs girl didn't find him attractive. Bet you if that was a hot guy or a Tyrone who did that the girl would keep it quiet.

Top guys get away with doing creepy shit all the time. Of course there's always classier or smarter ways to steal girls from other dudes but creepy in itself comes down to the SMV of the guy.

[–]uwotm891-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, of course, is the correct answer.

[–]AscensionExperiments-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're talking about two different things here. You can be high SMV and still have a beta mindset.

[–]GrinninGremlin5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

But there is something to just saying nothing and knowing he's just being a little bitch and moving on

So you aren't going to go meet a girl at an HIV support group and bring her to the pool next week?

[–]EnlightenedViking[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that’s awesome

[–]Onidramon6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

plate or girl he brings to a pool on a weekend

The fuck does this matter for? For all you know he's her gay friend or cousin. No ring no rules

[–]kayfab1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i love it hahaha nice analysis.

[–]ranchosteve49 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy

Beta move by your neighbor, I bet he is the type to friend every female on FB try and talk and ends up getting nowhere. Almost any female gets bombarded on social media by thirsty dudes that are to much a pussy to talk in person.

If she's a plate, who gives a shit. If she is a LTR see how she recates to a social media message mabey say to him "I saw you messaged my GF."

So your neighbor's a beta, best to keep the peace. Another thought is that if your spining plates your he might be white knight and let the women know.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

straight up. I once had a random acquaintance from my hometown reach out through to a girl I plated by combing through my friends list FB. Never even met her and he lives 1000+ miles away. I could not believe it. He told me his networking strategies aren't my business,like holy fuck.

[–]firesume 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I know they say don't shit where you eat, but thoughts on friending a girl you work with on facebook ? (My job is a shitty cashier job anyways, could care less if I lost it) I didn't want to make things weird at work by asking her out at work in front of other people, and she has a unique name so she came up right away with some mutual friends when I searched her.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hell yeah ask her out.

If it’s a bs retail job that you don’t need (either because you’re about to go to school or have a side hustle) then it doesn’t matter.

Trust me, a lot of people in retail are fucking each other. Just don’t let her claim #metoo because then your getting fucked by the law and the company wants to cover their ass and will feed you to the wolves

[–]wanker717155 points56 points  (2 children) | Copy

handle it by not handling it, cause that's nothing. Just a creepy guy being creepy

[–]Ill_mumble_that10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

If hes a friend, well he isn't anymore. Don't include him in things unless he is bringing value to the situaton. I doubt he ever brings any value to anything. Dude is a leech and should be handled as such.

[–]LordLoveRocket00-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Instructions unclear, now have several leeches attached to my ballsack

[–]Emerald__Faith18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is great, now you know hes a Weasel. This has spared you from any future mistakes with this guy

  • Don't trust
  • Don't get close
  • Don't hang

[–]SeasonedRP16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't do a thing. She laughed it off, and you should too. One thing to watch, though, is if she constantly mentions guys hitting on her, especially if she keeps bringing up the same guy. Some immature girls do this in hopes of provoking a jealous reaction. They know how to shut things down if they want to. If she is the type who doesn't shut that kind of thing down and frequently brings it up, I'd get rid of her.

[–]2319Skew40 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy

Break into his house and sodomize him while your girl records it

[–]dpgproductions28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sad that I had to scroll so far for the real answer

[–]Ill_mumble_that5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn. This is endorsed material right here.

[–]2ComplexProjection10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

The girl reacted well. Your neighbor not so much.

[–]Internet-Troll6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta shoot his shot,

[–]bigboxguy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who cares

[–]0io-5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe he misunderstood your relationship with the girl and thought he had some connection with her. Especially if he's drinking.

I personally would do nothing except make a mental note that neighbor is an idiot weasel who can't be trusted with anything.

One girl's creep is another girl's Chad. I've seen people who I thought have no chance score from moves like that. If it had gone the other way we'd be reading a post about how your LTR cucked you for your neighbor.

[–]Kabuki4312 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Send bobs and vagene kinda guy

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

LMAO the cheeky neighbor. Are u smashing this girl? If he's just your neighbor and not your friend then you can't really blame him for making a move on a girl that isn't your GF, I would do the same tbh. If he's your friend, then now you have one less friend. Easy

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her to send him a venmo request, and to then give you the money. Tell her if he asks what the money's for, she should just straight up tell him you want it.

The guy will then have the following choices: (1) he can be a cuck and give her the money. And if he goes that way, his existence will no longer bother you. He could keep talking to her for all you care. She'll ignore him or sometimes use him for free attention, but she's never going to fuck him.

(2) he can tell your girl to fuck off. If he goes that way, he'll no longer be talking to her and this wont bother you. If he ever does talk to her again, she will again tell you about it and you can repeat this process.

(3) he can confront you about it. If he does that, you can call him out on having messaged her in the first place.

[–]KettleLogic6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

If you want to be vindictive you can swing your dick at his ego. Casually when talking to him.

"Bro, FYI last night while in bed with thispoolgirl she laughed about how creepy it was you messaged her when she was with me. Just figured you'd wanna know it wasn't working. Anyway how about that sports team"

Say it in a playful way like it's no big deal, change the topic before he has a chance to reply. If he has a problem and goes back to it dismiss and just say "I don't care about the topic. I just figured if I was in your position I'd want to know if a girl thought I was creepy" move on. Me personally I'd bring it up in front of other people.

But I enjoy making people socially awkward. Do nothing with her.

[–]stonemountainman425 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not worth it, imo. Could make things weird when he sends her more messages saying "omg i'm so sorry, EnlightenedViking told me i made things weird and i didn't meant to blah blah" and now she's going to think you were being insecure.

[–]KettleLogic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

True it depends on the person.

If a plate told me that I'd instantly tell them I cannot wait for this to be a joke I can use.

I guess this key aspect is important.

[–]A_Group_of_Crows0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think that scenario makes it worse for the neighbor rather than OP. Makes the neighbor sound insecure and an image micro-manager.

I imagine the girl replying with something like "no worries lol" and possibly never talking to the neighbor again.

[–]AT0MIC_ACE_PUGG 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Sounds like a great way to start a fight

[–]KettleLogic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah someone pointed out a great fundamental way I handle girls vs how he does that ruins my advice. Down vote me so he gets the difference

[–]AT0MIC_ACE_PUGG 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Wat

[–]KettleLogic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My advice forgot the bit of my personality that sets up the "oh you just told me that? Cant wait to make this a joke"

Without the set up. The response is bad. I agree. I forget when giving advice that everything isnt as I would have it be. I wont delete because your reply is a great teaching moment that advice you get isnt always perfect and we imply things that might not be true.

[–]A_Group_of_Crows0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"If you want to be vindictive you can swing your dick at his ego. Casually when talking to him.

"Bro, FYI last night while in bed with thispoolgirl she laughed about how creepy it was you messaged her when she was with me. Just figured you'd wanna know it wasn't working. Anyway how about that sports team"

Do this or ignore it. The girl laughed at him. You should too. I think she brought it up to demonstrate higher value to you and she wouldn't mind laughing more at his expense. Neighbor is a snake and disposable so if you make him mad from pointing out his beta behavior, who cares?

[–]Retuov1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Little low om context here buddy, might showing tje actual message. And maybe the convo they had at the party?

[–]EnlightenedViking[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

will edit thanks

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Yeah hes a... fun one" chuckle and then continue whatever tf you were doing and ignore it. which is chad speak for "yeah hes a goof im not threatened by him." Dont worry vro. Ur neighbour is a goof tho

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It just a weasel move from my perspective. How would you handle it? Any different that he is my neighbor?

Nothing to handle.

He's a sleazebag that can't be trusted, but other than that there's nothing to do about it.

Perhaps telling him that you and she had a chuckle about it would be fun.

[–]Snowaey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

he seems like a leech, get rid of that parasite ASAP

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have nothing to worry about, she probably genuinely thought he was creepy (that said, her showing you might have been a jealousy ploy rather than her caring about honesty.)

You didn't tell us how you reacted, but hopefully you just casually laughed/smirked along with her and did not act ruffled. Don't bring it up with her again.

The right move is probably to do nothing. Getting into a 'war' with a neighbor could go very badly, and you probably couldn't get the guy evicted over it, especially if you don't have a screengrab of it (which would require asking the girl for one, a TERRIBLE idea since then it shows you were ruffled.)

It's annoying, but you just need to ignore it and move on, and be aware of the creep when you bring girls around in the future.

If she's hot, she's had this happen hundreds, maybe thousands of times in her life. For her this is a non issue an she's likly already forgotten about it.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude only made himself look like a creeper. Has nothing to do with you. Creeps gonna creep.

[–]unusualwoman_fml0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I tell my partner about things like this when it comes from people he considers to be "trustworthy"/ an acquaintance / friend / colleague". It's inappropriate and these people have crossed a line.

I will tell my partner in a respectful way that reassures him I handled it and so he knows this person is an asshat. He can then decide how he will treat that person going forward.

It has always been like that, even when we started dating. One of his friends kept sending me DM's complimenting my photos and it made me feel uncomfortable and I found it inappropriate for him to message me like that behind his friends back. I told him to stop and he didn't, so I told my partner and then the messages stopped and this person became and acquaintance.

(Another reason we tell our partners is because unfortunately it's a safety issue, I'd rather have him know in case something happens).

Edit: spelling

[–]HurricaneHugues-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would get her to play him. Pretend like she's receptive to his advances, have him take her out on a nice dinner date where she will order some take out for you too unbeknownst to him (on his dime too, at that), have him buy her some $20 gift cards to YOUR favorite stores etc. After a month or 2 of dangling the carrot in front of him so he can spend his money in the hopes of getting a kiss or some pussy, I would walk up to him with the girl one day and say "Thanks for all the takeout and gift cards. I've put them all to goos use".

[–]account_for_rel-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd like to ask the experts here a flip question.
As that neighbor, how would you approach this situation in an alpha way, and push OP away. IMing is certainly beta game, and is gonna get you nowhere.

Do you just dont do this shit? (i dont think so).
Do you wait for IOI from the girl, when talking face to face?

[–]RinkyInky2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hit on her at the pool party and get her number there.

But, is that girl so important? Wouldn’t it be better to have a good friend in OP if he’s a good person?

If your neighbour is a good guy and is cool, wouldn’t it be better to have a good neighbour whom you’re bros with? You could learn from him, hang/work out with him, go to bars and get a great wingman, this will help you get more girls in the long run too.

[–]account_for_rel-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes neighbors are not too cool and the girls are they bring are too hot to keep the friendship with the neighbor.

But i get your advice. Thanx.

[–]stonemountainman422 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i wouldn't touch it. pissing off a neighbor, beta or not, is not worth it imo. plenty of other pussy out there.



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