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Is it possible to LOVE when you are red pilled?

Reddit View
May 31, 2019
86 upvotes

I remember when I was blue pilled, feelings of affection were more intimate and when reciprocated felt amazing. Rn, it feels like my standards have gone waaay up and to be emotionally interested seems difficult.

What’s your take folks?


Post Information
Title Is it possible to LOVE when you are red pilled?
Author theboldmind
Upvotes 86
Comments 68
Date 31 May 2019 06:06 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/240325
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bvauqw/is_it_possible_to_love_when_you_are_red_pilled/
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Comments

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper205 points206 points  (16 children) | Copy

Yes, it is.

The red pill just taught you to reserve those feelings for girls who have invested effort to earn them.

[–]tokegifford25 points26 points  (7 children) | Copy

What should you do when those feelings exist for a girl who hasn’t earned them?

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper30 points31 points  (5 children) | Copy

[–]marcus8crassus3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I tried the link but it said it was quarantined and wouldn’t let me access it. Advice on accessing?

[–]ryantheman22 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have to access Reddit on desktop, go to settings, and find the bit about quarantined content. I tried searching for the specific answer for you, but I can’t find the instructions on Google at the moment.

[–]marcus8crassus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man, I appreciate you looking for me. I’ll try to figure it out tomorrow when I’m in front of a computer.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

From a desktop, open the link and click accept when it asks you you are sure you want to go in. Then, while you are logged in you will forever bypass the question even on mobile I think.

[–]RevolutionaryPea70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should always remove sources of negativity from your life. Having a woman you love but doesn't deserve it would count as that. Get rid of her.

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

How not to lose a girl when she is putting a lot of effort in relationship ex. buying gifts, messaging first after dates, always strives for a meeting? I fell for her after 4th date. How do I show her love (other then kissing, touching and carefully hugging)? Is there any rule / advice on showing love not only by body language? I consider her to be my LTR in the near future but haven’t mentioned anything about being exclusive / couple since I don’t want to lose my value.

[–]iwviw10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Relationships are a power struggle. Someone wears the pants and someone follows. Once the roles are set they’re set.... in theory. So be loving but know your role.

[–]yungplayz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ion know, care about her maybe? Do the little things, the same ones a good mom does for her kid.

If she's worthy, she'll appreciate it a ton. If she won't, and will take it for granted and you for a servant — that's a HUGE red flag and I'd next ASAP.

[–]Bigboyleggos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Origional:

How do I get out of my head and live in the moment so i can fully enjoy time with a girl that values me and shows it by putting a lot of effort in relationship ex. buying gifts, messaging first after dates, always strives for a meeting?

FTFY!

Your origional text reeks of fear, fearing losing her will kill the good vibe. Stop living in the maybes that may never come, appriciate and enjoy the attention & affection.

When shes gives you a gift, look deeply into her eyes and say "thank you", kiss, bang and enjoy that moment. No more, no less, just fucking enjoy it and let her know that you do enjoy it with your time, attention & dick.

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What I’m working on now that I’ve attracted a real winner and am less interested in plating is distinguishing between comfort- and shit- tests. Understanding the difference is so key, and clutch. It is the only way to keep things purring along. You just have to be able to tell if she’s vying for control (shit test, so DARE, don’t DEER), or if she’s afraid you’re cheating (because you’re so high value, which would be a comfort test), so concede something unimportant or trivial to you so she knows you love her/are making an effort.

It’s the only way to keep a high value woman who knows how to submit, but also needs maintenance in the form of love and affection.

[–]Westerncaesar[🍰] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldnt worry. Trust me she will show you why you shouldn't!

[–]Drakane1-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

no don't think so. here watch this video to understand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T2MdWB3JwE

[–]SICFJC-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

But awalt

[–]_iisu72 points73 points  (12 children) | Copy

I believe it's not possible to be red-pilled without love.

Let's start with what love is not. Oneitis is not love. Oneitis comes from a self-centered "need" – neediness. You're so in wuv with that girl and must have her, disregarding her feelings, hell even your own well-being. The beta sexual strategy is to be nice to a girl and hope for something in return – ego validation.

Distancing yourself from another person (all that TRP arsenal of nexting, ghosting, dread gaming etc.) for petty reasons, when it doesn't serve your well-being (life quality, self-development, spirit, serotonin level, whatever you call it), but rather protecting your fragile ego. That's not love either, that's stupidity, cause you're mostly hurting yourself. Your detachment from the ego determines your frame. Every time the ego feels threatened, that's the best opportunity you can have to improve your frame. All of that TRP arsenal is great tools for gaining power and for self-development but they ought to be handled wisely, that is with love and detachment. You should "next" a girl when you really can't accept something about her at the core level and can't fix it, "ghost" to spark dread and jealousy in the girl to create attraction, not to punish her for threatening your ego. Instead of saying "next" and "ghost" I'd say "let her go" and "be unavailable" but I didn't invent TRP lingo, someone wiser than me did.

TRP love is a solitary (self-love) or mutual (connection) state of mind and lifestyle of gratitude, understanding, forgiveness, detachment, constant improvement and growth. Love doesn't depend on self-validation and it's something you give away for free. To be red-pilled should mean to be in constant warfare against the ego with its destructive patterns cause the ego is love's #1 enemy.

If you don't love yourself, you can't develop self-discipline to grow. You'll succumb to the first dopamine high addiction on your way and wither.

If you don't love others, you'll give in to your reactive patterns. You won't be able to develop detachment to maintain your frame and will fail every shit test thrown at you.

Like ancient gods had their attributes, I'd attribute the modern god – love with serotonin and growth, and the devil – ego with dopamine highs and lows.

[–]Skuggasveinn3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Speak wise man

[–]ogkushinjapan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, learn to love yourself before loving others.

[–]MoreWhiskeyPls1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head, very well put. Redpill isn't possible without love. People just take it to be the opposite.

I think a lot of guys here relate that oneitis feeling with less about the SO/ex etc, if they realize their feeling is rooted in the need for security and comfort.

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s amazing how quickly you can turn around from fear and desperation (oneitis) to complete and total abundance. A favorite TRP quip of mine is to learn to fall in love with your life, not your woman/women. Her/them being a part of your life is the gift you give.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Why is protecting your ego when it is threatened stupidity?

[–]ThrowawayGoaway941 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Because situations that 'threaten' your ego are likely not threatening at all objectively and are trivial at best. From a Freudian perspective, your ego is only concerned with achieving pleasure (often through validation). Pursuing or acting on anything based solely on what your ego tells you is a recipe for a life of nihilistic hedonism.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

From a Freudian perspective, the ego is not only concerned with achieving pleasure. It is concerned with operating on reason, balancing between the chaotic impulsivity of the id and the societal judgement associated with the superego.

The ego is essentially a balancing act between instinct and morality.

The ego is what is real to you as a person, and so protecting the ego is on the same level as protecting your pride and self respect.

If your ego is in check which can be done through meditation and reading, if a bitch tries to mess with it I will next or ghost her, and most RPers would do the same.

How is this stupid?

[–]ThrowawayGoaway940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

From a Freudian perspective, the ego is not only concerned with achieving pleasure. It is concerned with operating on reason, balancing between the chaotic impulsivity of the id and the societal judgement associated with the superego.

Yes, you are correct. From a Freudian perspective the ego does balance the chaotic impulsivity of the id and the societal judgement of the superego, but you're missing the primary motivation of the ego. It doesn't do this out of benevolence, rather it only does this because the id and superego are at opposite extremes and have no realistic means of implementing their desires. Therefore, the ego is the primary mechanism which enables the fulfilment of these desires, even though both the desires of the id and the superego are arguably negative in their extremes.

The ego is what is real to you as a person, and so protecting the ego is on the same level as protecting your pride and self respect.

I think this is a vernacular issue more than anything else. If one wishes to be pedantic then when most people use the word 'ego' what they are actually doing is using short-hand for 'egotistical' rather than attempting to comment on a complex psychological concept. Although I was the one who brought psychology into this discussion, it was solely to make reference to the fact that the ego is only concerned with achieving pleasure, which is the case in both the Freudian and common usage of the term 'ego.'

If your ego is in check which can be done through meditation and reading, if a bitch tries to mess with it I will next or ghost her, and most RPers would do the same.

On a personal level I think this comes more down to self-esteem than ego. If you have high self-esteem then you're not going to fuck around with people that play mind games regardless of the value they contribute; however, if one looks at the perspective of the ego the ego would justify tolerating the mind games of a HB9 if the HB9 provided you validation through sex.

I don't think your idea is stupid, any bitch playing mind games isn't worth it. I just don't think it's the ego that motivates this - rather a healthy level of self-esteem.

[–]teochewkia 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What are examples of your ego being threatened and where you punish the girl solely based on your ego?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A plate fucks another guy and brags to me about it. This does not show me the respect my ego feels it deserves.

She will be nexted

[–]Rimefang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So confusing. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[–]MarioBuzo14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men love women, women love children, etc. You can love, don't expect a new mom though.

[–]rambler4298 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can love your parents.

You can love your kids.

You can love your pets.

And you can love a woman, but never expect her to love you the same way.

[–]SonnyFFC8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

As Patrice O’Neal said, “you’re not in love, you’re in lust and ego.”

[–]Bigboyleggos8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Most men think a chemical high & perma hard cock = love.

-I love my brother....so much that I:

have no problem telling him when hes being a bitch.

Expirence zero but-hurt when he returns the favor.

Will do what I have to when the shit hits the fan.

Have zero expectations that he will return the favor. If I give, I GIVE.

I love my wife Too, I love her so much I:

Have no problem telling her no.

Tell her family no when they give me shit for telling her no.

Tell her what to do when somthing is making her indecisive, no matter how annoying.

Give her a hug when shes sad about dumb shit.

Fuck her even if I dont want too, when she needs this D she gets it.

Have no problem ignoring her if shes being rediculous then straight up own it if she calls me on it.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving another human but dont mistake an eager beaver, great tits, that warm & fuzzy feeling that comes with lust, your precious ego or your hard dick for love.

1. Love is NOT setting yourself on fire to keep another warm.

2. Love is inviting another to enjoy your camp fire and warm blanket with zero expectations of them.

3 you have to love yourself, people are inherently selfish. #1 never works, to execute #2 successfully you must be able to kick the person the fuck out IF they piss on on your fire or shit on your blanket. Do not fear the possibility of shitty behavior, see it when it happens and draw a hard line.

Ill simplify the above.

1 covert contracts and self sacrifice is the devil, they will haunt you!

2 do not fear being open, love others without expectation, its good for you and masculine as fuck. The way of the superior man tells us to give our gifts and give them freely.

3 set boundaries when people shit on your blanket while basking in the warmth of your awesome fire..... you tell them to fuck off. If they fart under your blanket, kick them out if they come back with beer and wings.... maybe you let them back in?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very well said

[–]_iisu 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Too bad my post got all the appreciation while yours got only 9 points and a single reply. Your explanation is more poetic than mine, yet you give concrete examples to support your point. Love.

[–]Bigboyleggos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The hell?

[–]DerpJungler8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

TRP is not about deleting the "Love section". It's about applying a fuckload of filters to it.

Being blue pilled means having 0 filters, the first female that gives you the slightest sight of attention/validation, the feeling appears instantly.

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley34 points35 points  (11 children) | Copy

Love, yes. Like a father loves a daughter and does what's best for her even when she's being a little bitch.

Be loved back the same way? Nah. You can be admired and worshiped though. Feels better than infatuated love.

Stop looking for a new mommy between the legs of another woman.

[–]InstigatingDrunk11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

man, having a daughter would be the ultimate test for a father.

[–]TheRedPillRipper15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have 2. Nope. Gives you good insight into how a girl/woman's mind works. AND how to raise one.

Actually can't wait for the potential son-in-laws to start rolling in haha!

[–]Project_Zero_Betas5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm hoping for all lesbian daughters.

[–]vullnet1231 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm hoping for no daughters. I need a Jr., and another one named Odysseus

[–]Project_Zero_Betas3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Having girls reduces the risk of you breeding a serial killer.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I just think there's no way I could raise a daughter lol. Plus how the fuck will some kid named Odysseus be a serial killer, dudes gonna an athlete

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Didn't Odysseus slaughter a bunch of innocent people on that last beach?

[–]vullnet1231 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's been years since I read it, I thought he slaughtered the suitors who were going after his wife?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah I think you're right, but also remember something going down on that last beach at Troy.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I forgot. Only thing is they don't make women like back then, she waited 20 years for Odysseus. That's loyalty

[–]Fulp_Piction5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP teaches you what love really is, and stops you making a dick of yourself over it.

[–]frontiermarine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes but you need to know how to turn off those feelings like a light switch when things go south.

[–]6sterile62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I love myself and I’m married to the game

The gym and my body is my oneitis

[–]laserdicks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's impossible to fully love without it.

[–]2fassy 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

OP

You can LOVE, but what is to say that REAL LOVE is the blue pill idea of love that you have been brainwashed into beleiving since birth?

This blue pill idea of love infects every romantic film, book and has penetrated deep into the heart of many cultures.

THIS IDEA OF LOVE IS A MYTH, especially considering we live in the 21st century, the age of casual sex and disposable partners.

The average modern woman is INCAPABLE of feeling this type of love, the sexual revolution and contraception has changed her. She no longer needs to be bonded to a man who can raise her child for life, because she can easily find another, and her liberal society will allow her to do that as many times as she wishes.

You must therefore protect your soul, and love out of logic and self respect.

Love a woman who provides value to your life Love a woman who ticks the necessary boxes Love a woman who you consider to have a low probability of cheating Love a woman who cooks you fucking good food

But loving her does not mean put her needs before yours, or indeed forgive her for infedility, straying, or disrespect. You must respect yourself first. And if you feel a line has been crossed, she is disposable.

Always remember that she is not yours, its just your turn. You must see this love as an agreement. She provides you company, sex, and companionship, and you provide the same. You have found someone you are compatible with, that is all.

As well as this, I would like to add that the love you are describing is most likely INFATUATION, and this is not love, this is a short lived rollercoaster which oscillates between stress and euphoria, anguish and elation.

When you are infatuated with girl, the adrenal gland secretes an abundance of the hormone cortisol, responsible for giving you an insufferable feeling of stress. The secretion of the mood regulator serotonin is also suppressed when you undergo infatuation, and serotonin is the hormone scientifically proven to be secreted more when you experience true, stable love. Infatuation will also increase the bodily production of dopamine, giving you those obsessive thoughts of the particular girl, almost making you addicted.

You should not make "love" your aim, as this is a bluepill idea, and one that is counterintuitive in its very nature, for seeking love will only result in misery, and I can promise you this. (Divorce and cheating statistics may also reflect this). Love when the right girl comes to you, and love her when she has truely earnt it.

Instead you should make SELF LOVE your aim, as once you establish this, no other love will come close.

Good luck man

[–]Jussie_Mullet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good perspective sir

[–]theboldmind1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is a great perspective

[–]mikayla_rivera0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Of course but many women aren’t worth your love and affection, as you grow as a person, it becomes much harder to find people that you mesh well with and have respect for.

When you’re an adult, where do you meet like minded people? Maybe work, by joining a club team in your area, at a university, or maybe a gym. These places will help get you in the right area to meet someone who has similar values, but you will still have to wade through the bullshit in these environments as well. Does she workout? Does she have a good family? Is she smart? Does she have goals/ambitions? Is she promiscuous? Does she smoke/drink? Does she have a good education? Does she have a decent job? Is she a good person? Do you find her interesting to talk to?

Once you get into the logistics of what you determine to be a “good woman” by your standards, you realize that very few women seem to meet all of that criteria even though most of it is basic stuff. The older the women get, the more baggage they are likely to come with but too young and the less mature/ established they will be.

What really matters is what do you want? Do you want to have a more meaningful relationship with a women in the future or do you want to have a series of short term flings your whole life? Either is fine, even a combination is fine, and it is also fine to change your mind in the future.

I know it seems difficult to meet good women, trust me I know, but they are out there.

Happy fishing boys 😉

[–]durdendino0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t believe in love.

[–]LilLoserFreny0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah

[–]NegativeMeeting80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Think of it as loving your cat. She's cute, soft, you want to take care of her, but you never let your her piss into your shoes.

[–]Diabolo_Advocato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Redpill = Love yourself more than bitches

[–]un_reliablenarrator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then you were soft, now you are hard. Nothing wrong with being either ad long as it nets you true love.

[–]Lambdal70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, only when you are black pilled.

Most guys here think the red pill is the black pill, which it isn’t. :D

[–]CarlosNeedsAHat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's possible to love when you are red pilled.

It's no longer possible to love blindly.

[–]agree-with-you0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, this does seem possible.

[–]BurnoutRS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its only possible to love when you are RP BP love is not actual love

Heres the thing. If Im a confident person who is sure of myself and honest with others, then you know If I hate you, im gonna tell you to fuck off.

If Im a milquetoast, piece of shit, who is dishonest with himself and others in order to be liked, then regardless of whether I actually like you, love you, hate you or whatever, im gonna do my best to act however it is I think I need to act to get you to like me.

[–]Drakane10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

no men cant fall in love its unnatural watch this video to understand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T2MdWB3JwE

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Love is a load of bollocks.

[–]BluffButt-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unicorns are subjective.



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