Why do girls always cry when I show them that I won't put up with their shit?

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June 1, 2019


Just FYI, I did my research and was not able to find a similar question online, so that's why I'm asking here.

The thing is that everytime that I get closer to a girl and she starts throwing all her fucking shit tests and bullshit to me, when I show her that I won't put up with their shit, they always start fucking crying, sometimes in front of me and sometimes secretly, and then after that they would either fuck me, or start respecting the hell out of me and treat me like king(if they just respect me and don't fuck me fast I next them).

I understand the reasoning behind their change of behavior after showing her that I'm not a fucking teddy bear, but what I don't understand is the crying,

Why the hell would you fucking cry and then try to fuck me?

Is it because they feel unvalidated and makes them feel bad so then trying to fuck me is a desperate call for attention?

If that's true, then why would my attention be better than the hundreds of guy writing her everyday?

Is it because I already showed some value and then doing more screening before mating would be a waste?

Does this happen to you to or is it a "me" thing?

Post Information
Title Why do girls always cry when I show them that I won't put up with their shit?
Author un_knownguy
Upvotes 161
Comments 64
Date 01 June 2019 03:58 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/240381
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bvgsvt/why_do_girls_always_cry_when_i_show_them_that_i/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test

[–]Gordon-G104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your indifference is key...your willingness to walk away will keep her in a subservient role which is vitally important for a relationship to function properly. Bc you won’t place her on a pedestal she will try to please you, win you over, keep you. All those other chumps showering her with attention don’t interest her bc they’re not a challenge, they’re weak beta-cucks. Stay strong in your masculine frame,..always!!

[–]777views7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right on brother

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1859 points60 points  (0 children) | Copy

Treat everything as a shit test. They are either doing what you like, or it's a shit test.

Who the fuck knows why they cry. Hold frame

[–]eldridgecrowbarn 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Simply put - desperate attempts to turn you into beta orbiter through emotions. If you turn beta, they walk all over you for a small period and then they jump into others bed.

(I haven’t read a lot of RP books but this is what I’ve learnt from observing women and how they work. It seems to me that they haven’t evolved much and their amygdala is dominant to the prefrontal cortex.)

The way I see it, women have this idea of how invested or involved a man should be in them. They don’t get into a relationship cuz you are the ideal man but cuz you are the complete opposite of what they expect you to be and that’s attractive to them, makes their pussies drip. It’s like when you are not attracted to a women, she would be more into you cuz it’s a compulsive attribute in them that you have to like them even if they don’t like you back(Their amygdala can only think about you at this point). They jump into bed or do certain things to get men emotionally invested in them, kinda like make men their slaves and this is via sex.

Their ideal man is a pillow. All they need you is for providing them with comfort and to scream into when her day goes wrong or something and they pay you back in pussy, again that’s just cuz they want to have fun or it’s just cuz they don’t want to loose the pillow without getting a new one.

All that ranting and whining shit they pull is only to turn you into a pillow.

[–]martyn10099923 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can’t thank you enough for this insight. Now I fully understand why my ex cheated on me.

[–]Unlikely_Composer8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same dude same

[–]mrrooftops6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

A pillow can evolve into a cheap Ikea chair very quickly.

[–]omega_dawg9318 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

specifically, they're crying to try to get you in their frame... to pussy you up and soften you up.

overall, you're turning them on because you possess the number one trait they look for: you do NOT give a fuck if she leaves.

girls don't want men that NEED them... they want men that WANT them.

and if you can walk away, it's the ultimate expression that you do NOT need them, and it's a big turn-on that you're focused and will not put up with their petty bullshit.

note: most girls know they're full of shit. they just want to see how much of it you'll digest.

[–]WIA20XX44 points45 points  (29 children) | Copy

Page 3 of the Manipulate Men for Fun and Profit.

Page 2 - Nag.

Page 1 - Be hot...

[–]un_knownguy[S] 16 points17 points  (25 children) | Copy

I'm not sure I quite understand your answer

[–]WIA20XX103 points104 points  (21 children) | Copy

Girls try to manipulate your behavior to get what they want.

  1. Look hot. If that fails...
  2. Nag. If that fails....
  3. Cry.

Believe me, same girl that is balling her eyes out, will cheat on you right after you give in to her b.s.

Girls will -

  • use sex to get things.
  • even better is the hint of sex. She never promises anything. And you are a toxic man for thinking that. "Guys only want one thing, and it's disgusting".
  • A girl will touch you as she asks you for something, and use that touch as a way to condition you.
  • They will use affection to butter you up.
  • They will withhold sex.
  • Silent treatment.
  • "leave you on red".
  • They will "communicate".
  • They say they will compromise in the future for something in the present.
  • They will gossip.
  • They will turn people against you.
  • Her friends will actively lie to you.
  • She will actively push you away from work, working out, pursuing your passions to spend time with you.

A lot of you guys don't read all the various relationship/dating subs, but you'll see this behavior in the wild all the time. There are Lesbian dating threads where the femme is clearly manipulating the butch using things that they typically use on men. I thought that another woman could see through the bullshit. Not really.

The blue pill man, the average frustrated chump, the square - He tries reason, he tries to understand her side, he tries to be stubborn but then loses heart, eventually he caves. He convinces himself that she is right, and one day he will be right, and she will see it his way.

That day never comes.

For the player, pickup artist, and red pill man - there are options.

The basic tools are self development aka passive dread, active dread, soft next, and hard next.

The intermediate tools - establishing and enforcing boundaries, and checking the chick as necessary. Having a roster, making her earn her place on the team, putting a price on your attention, and having the skills to replace.

The advanced tools are creating an alternative option for the girl. That's beyond the scope of this group, but you will see guys in the married sub attempt to build new narratives.

[–]GGrub814 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy

I find the last point you mentioned very interesting for my needs.

What do you mean with creating a new narrative? Is there a topic or guide about it?

[–]DJ-MBENGA13 points14 points  (4 children) | Copy

Holy shit, you described my last LTR word for word.

Never date a chick with BPD.

Very good advice bro

[–]slap2butts0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What does BPD stand for?

[–]magx015 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

being a woman

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Borderline Personality Disorder.

It's irrelevant to this topic really. All women act (at some point) like WIA20XX described. They don't need to be BPD, just female.

[–]mrrooftops9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's an extreme type of standard negative female behaviour. Some people say it's over used as a term, and it is, (like narcissism). However, the main red flags for BPD are:

  1. Affective (emotional) instability including intense, episodic emotional anguish, irritability, and anxiety/panic attacks
  2. Anger that is inappropriate, intense and difficult to control, seemingly out of nowhere and inconsistent with recent feelings
  3. Their chronic feelings of emptiness
  4. Self-damaging acts such as excessive spending, unsafe and inappropriate sexual conduct, substance abuse, reckless driving, or binge eating
  5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-injurious behavior such as cutting or hitting themselves.
  6. A markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of themselves (their perceptions of themself, their identity) - think a chameleon,
  7. Suspiciousness of others thoughts about them, and even paranoid ideation, or transient and stress related dissociative episodes during which they feel that they or their surroundings appear not the reality that others experience.
  8. They may engage in frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment,
  9. Their relationships may be very intense, unstable, and alternate between the extremes of over idealizing and undervaluing people who are important to them. This is the big external one that people in relationships with BPD will experience regularly, manifesting all previous factors. One day it's "you are my soulmate", the next, "you're dumped/nothing to me/loser/coward" etc. The day after that... "you are my soulmate" over and over

[–]MrAnderzon6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is sidebar type stuff. Saved

[–]Ethifury1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Which relationship/dating subreddits you’re referring to?

[–]WIA20XX16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

All of them. Breakups, divorce, lesbian, AITA, dating, dating advice, marriage....

The key is to just read but not react. The dating over 30 is a gold mine of uncensored women. But if you're a red pill mouth breather, you'll be saying that the chick hit the wall. Defense mode on.

Have you ever read Cosmopolitan? The stuff on the cover is meant to sell the woman on the magazine. It plays to her insecurities and vices.

If you're out with a chick, notice another girl trying and failing to hide her problem areas. Watch your chick get suddenly insecure because you notice details and flaws in women.

[–]Ethifury0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to browse through women magazines all the time when I was bored, but during that time I wasn’t “aware” like I am now

[–]xoxuv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

... And

She will do everything a narcissist do. If she stands your beta behavior, it will be at the cost of narcissist abuse, which will only get worse with time.

  • She will isolate you from your friends and relatives, to hold control of you.
  • She will gaslight.
  • She will play the victim.
  • She will accuse you of everything she does.
  • She will ignore all your arguments.
  • Nothing will be enough to satisfy her.
  • She will anger and emotionally destabilize you on purpose.
  • She will diminish all your achievements.
  • She will give orders instead of asking.
  • She will demand constant validation.

And that’s from a normal woman, not a crazy one.

[–]Coumadin120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I may have overlooked these in the side-bar, but what are the foundations of passive and active dread within self-development? Thank you.

[–]frankgold0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are spot on.

[–]ForeverInYou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They will "communicate".
She will actively push you away from work, working out, pursuing your passions to spend time with you.

If my LTR is doing this stuff, she's trying to bring me into their frame. But at the same time, I'm not showing much affection in the last few weeks. Maybe she's doing this stuff to try to get me at the level we were before, or she does this because she feels she 'owns' me already?

[–]hazelstein-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Remember They are the enemy. They will try to bring you down.

[–]WIA20XX8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

They have their own goals. Sometimes they cooperate, sometimes they compete.

[–]sircomeseyesd2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're not letting them get to page 3 of their favorite story

[–]un_knownguy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it lol

[–]BraindeadIQ2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is this book worth reading "Manipulate Men"?

[–]WIA20XX2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's a short book, and Esther is much better at explaining it than me.

But will it help your game? Or will it just make you more angry?

Why did the lioness eat the gazelle?

It's a lioness.

[–]BraindeadIQ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just finished it. It's brutal.. it's hunting me right now.

10/10 would recommend this book.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy


Does not matter if they are positive emotions or negative emotions.

Feels over reals.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]bestsparkyalive5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cause they’re women lol they cry that’s what they do

[–]Skuggasveinn7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sometimes girls cry because they are sad. Sometimes they cry because they want something. Sometimes. They just cry. Some of them can do it on command.

[–]Olram_Sacul1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

-Some of them can do it on command.

To get things from men. She won’t get shit from a female by cryimg because they all know this game. But most men will buy her bullshit

[–]beefstockcube5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit test 1 o 1.

[–]Mescalean2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because most modern fathers/parents in general are weak AF.

They give into a child’s crying and that carries into adulthood.

Id say it happens more so for girls than boys. If i can find the link ill edit to post this thing about “princess programming”

Edit: cant find it but was reading an article a couple years ago discussing how MSM and hollywood set up these unrealistic expectations for how women are to be treated by society/their “providers”. Some people think it is a side effect others think there is an actual agenda behind it. Destruction of the nuclear family type thang.

[–]fartingaround4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

They are called the weaker sex for a reason

[–]_-resonance-_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ever seen a chick cry after getting pulled over by a cop? “Cry cry. Let me out of my ticket? I’m a poor helpless woman.” With you: “Cry cry. Let me have control of your life. I’m a pretty girl.”

Using emotion to manipulate men.

Crying is a shit-test disguised as a comfort test. Be careful, though, to know what actually is a comfort test, as they will come, in order to reassure her you’re available emotionally (assuming you are). Otherwise she’ll occasionally smash with the emotional caregivers so she can get her emotional fix.

[–]BurnoutRS2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"oh god he's not putting up with my shit! let's double down on my shit and see if we can get him to budge!"

[–]xoxuv4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask things from the girl, and if she obeys, then show your gratitude and love as reward.

Otherwise they shit test you to either provoke into leading, or uncovering your betaness.

[–]006rbc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just like how a child will cry when they dont get their way.

[–]frankgold1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

By showing her you have standards, and you are willing to walk away, you proved yourself to be worthy. You have options. Even the option may be being alone and enjoying your peace of mind.

Crying and then trying to fuck you is her attempts to manipulate you. If you care about her feelings, you'll cave in when she cries. If you care about sex, you'll forgive her when she fucks you and still be with her.

If you don't care about either, you'll just leave her.

Seriously, what does a woman have to offer to a man? Sex and drama, that is all.

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Crying for women is like breathing. Second nature. Another too in their arsenal of manipulation.

[–]DadOnDabs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's because they literally cannot process the fact that they cant bend your will. Every other guy before you has been able to be bent folded, and changed. They start with crocodile tears (fake crying) to get you to fold and when that doesn't work they move on to real crying. They start respecting you afterwards because they'd rather have a you that they cant control versus not having you at all.

You can compare it to when a child doesn't get their way, or is scared, or gets a minor injury. Their brains havent developed the walls we put in place to deal with that so they go back to the most basic human instinct which is to cry.

[–]mok_881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

is by any chance one of shit tests flirting with other guys in front of you to see your reaction?

[–]t3kra1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tears of joy for a guy strong enough to look through them?

[–]throwawaybpdnpd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because girls are like kids, they cry to get what they want; and when they don’t, they start respecting you

[–]kayfab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Simple answer they are not used to this man..... women are all little princess, they are used to you doing there biding, they are used to weak men.....

I have changed and made a 180 degree myself, when i do this either they back off or they get attached real quick cause women don't like wimps, beta cucks, but others are just scared cause you got too much character and won't be easy to manipulate.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I honestly think it has a lot to do with estrogen, as I've seen women cry over lots of clearly insignificant shit. The best explanation I've received is "no, it's nothing. I'll be OK, just give me a minute or two."

I think in your case, it's because they feel a big relief that they A) realize they don't need to pretend like they're responsible and collected around you all the time.(something modern society tells them they're supposed to do.) B) them causing drama when they're pissed or anxious isn't going to cause you to crumble into a nervous, confused, submissive, desperate little boy.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Their overt brain doesn't like it and feels powerless and possibly sad that you "don't care" but their female nature secretly gets off on your IDGAF RP attitude and they get wet to it. Good job you're doing it right.

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This seems to be a just-me kinda thing, but women go out of their way to not cry for me. I can be mean as hell to them, and they won't give me satisfaction of seeing them cry.

In comparing notes with other guys, one big difference seems to be intimidation. Most women invest a lot of effort into telling me "You're not as mean as you come off." They don't seem too interested in testing that, though.

Women also pick up on the fact that I get off on them crying. I mean, genuine turn-on -- I love it!

I know from comparing notes with other guys that what you're talking about is by far the more common situation. A relative of mine was trying to dump a LTR, and she dropped the full suicide threat on him. So I'm aware the bullshit is real.

feel unvalidated and makes them feel bad

Nope. I'm brutal with controlling the flow of attention. Anything less than a full wow effort gets a woman nothing from me. And I've watched women mindlessly escalate their attention-seeking with me. The one thing they don't do during that escalation is go with crying and outbursts.

Another poster mentioned the three layers of control that women use to manipulate men. (Sex appeal, nag, cry.)

One advantage of controlling the attention-seeking front is that they can't move to steps 2 and 3. They end up stuck on step 1.

My advice? Stop giving up attention so easily. You're using words like "closer" so you're giving it up.

Remember: men have to withhold attention the way women withhold sex.

[–]cafeitalia-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are these girls 18 years old?

[–]mrrooftops6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've seen women of every age do this.

[–]jm51-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps a bit more humour in dealing with the shit tests would help reduce the tears?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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