So an example of when shit hits the fan - let's say there is a crisis in the family - her dad's hospitalized and needs surgery, and there's a ton of other things worrying her as well. You being you, your natural strategy is to put your head down and stay strong through it all, while she goes through pretty much the entire range of the emotional spectrum.
That is until she starts complaining and cribbing that you're not sensitive enough, emotional enough, moved enough, you don't have a heart, not empathetic enough, you're not worried and all - the shaming stuff. Other than just shrugging it off like the oak dealing with a 5 year old who has no idea what she's saying, just how do you deal with this test when you have to put it down?
Many a man I know actually believed they were wrong and needed to emote more, and it backfired. Others get upset because she just plainly ignored the fact that YOU are probably the one who got her dad in time to the hospital in the first place. Both fail.
Now what is a successful response to this?