Dear men. I've been active on this forum for years now and I have read many of these. I would have never thought that this would ever happen to me but it just did. I feel like this is becoming an epidemic and not even a relatively low lying guy who would never harm a fly like me is safe.
I live as a digital nomad in a South East Asian country. I have a few plates and do the occasional Tinder. Matched with a cute girl and we got along. First red flag was that she blocked and unblocked me several times before we met because she was "unsure". Early sign of some mental problems.
We met, went to a scenic spot. Kissed there. Went home. She took a shower while I was just chilling and came out of the bathroom naked and things happened. Also a red flag as this is quite errativ behaviour. We had sex three times that night, the third time she started crying because "my dick was too big for her". I immediately stopped, comforted her and we went for some food.
Never met her again. Since then she has sent me crazy page long love letters, nudes and even pics of her fucking other guys. I knew I was knee deep in trouble as this is all bipolar/borderline kinda behavior. I refrained from blocking her since I knew it could trigger her. She has tried to meet me again several times and I have chatlogs of her trying to arrange transport to meet me again saying I should fuck her hard and so forth.
She was into some light bdsm and she texted me stuff like "rape me" "kidnap me" and I replied in a sexy way. Huge red flag. I finally blocked her and that triggered her to make a fb post in a huge local expat group with my full name and phone number. She would only post a short excerpt of my text where I said some light bdsm stuff and a claim I raped her and some other woman (total lie) and that I was a influencer (which I am not).
The post got 200 replies before it got shut down (even the admins found her claims fishy) and I got a lot of hate mails (but also some supportive messages). The supportive guys said this happens a lot and because of my foreigner status I would not have to worry and should just move on and ignore her.
Keep in mind that this woman posted no real evidence and just some claims. My reputation took a big hit and if she takes this any further I am in real danger and my familiy's reputation is, too.
What is the status quo: I considered leaving this country but this would damage me financially in a great way as my livelihood is here. I have a Western passport and saved all the evidence mentioned above. The girl keeps contacting people in my friendlist with obviously crazy messages. I blocked her while saving all messages and urged my friends to save everything. I know I am in the right but this is Southeast Asia and police can be corrupt and unpredictable. I will firstly contact my embassy to inform them of this matter and send them all the evidence.
For me she only wants attention and to ruin my alleged "influencer reputation" so I don't think she will actually go to the police and she must know thay I have all the evidence including her sending me homemade porn long after we met. As I said I have only met her once and also told my friends about this crazy stalker.
What would you do? Leaving the country could almost seem like an admission of guilt and would put me in financial peril. I would also prefer not to talk to my parents about this for obvious reasons but I'd have to ask them for assistance if I were to leave.
As I said the post got deleted. I have decided not to post a rebuttal.for now as this could trigger her craziness even more. Should she post on other groups I would post my evidence and probably start talking to a lawyer. Obviously I would prefer to not deal with this any further.
Lessons: Never ever ever ever stick your dick in crazy even with the slightest hint. Be careful with dating, even the most unsuspecting men can be hit with this shit. Only engage in light BDSM with mature women 25+ who are stable. Also fucking around is not worth this kind of trouble.
Please let me know what you'd do and I will keep you updated too. Thanks for everything guys, this has proven even more to me how important it is that you, that we, exist.
UPDATE: I already left the country. This whole ordeal cost me at least 1000 usd and my business there is history. No time to say goodbye to my friends or explain my situation. Will start all over again, maybe by picking something more stable for a while in a safer place. Lots of lessons to be learnt from this, I will make a big post in the main sub. Let this be a warning, gentlemen.
Some might say overreacted but this is all based on a lie and even a single day spent in custody is not fair and not worth it. This coukd go any way and this crazy chick is unpredictable. She is still stalking me with fake accounts and contacting my friends. No way to stop that unless I delete everything.