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FR: Long road to the end...but every end is a new beginning

by broneilbro | June 11, 2019 | askMRP

27 upvotes

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Gents, It has been a while since the last update and for others see my posts. It is coming to an end almost a year to the day of "I'm moving out"

Friday is the last day that I will be married. We signed the mediation papers last month and I did very well since I had a prenup in hand.

No alimony, no massive splitting of accounts or anything. I just gave her a "fair" in her eyes cash payout to walk away. I actually was expecting to pay a lot more but her shit for brains "women only" lawyer didn't really work for it but who cares.

Since last post, I had stumbles within my frame as I found myself having a lack of discipline and motivation to go forward. It was/is a dark time in a sense that when you look around and see an event that was started out of your control driving your life you need to acknowledge it and realize that it is not the end all be all.

I was working a job just to have a job in the months going through the divorce. Lawyer said get one fast and I ended up at a place that paid well but was going nowhere. I decided to apply for a great program with a company everybody knows that I am excited to work for and will start in July. This month I'm taking off and relaxing/resetting before the new work starts.

You will find that regardless of the control of the emotions when you have to sign a legal document to layout how you will raise your kid, they will hit you.

The only time I felt anger was having to ask the state to divorce my wife and have time sharing approved. If you say otherwise you are lying to everyone yourself included.

With that out of the way, I am now dating a 26 year old HB that my friends didn't believe I was when she walked in and met them. Friends joked when they saw her as she is a 5'1" Asian blend and I'm 6'3. Got to love it.

She has been steady throughout the past few months and while it is comfortable I have been putting the rules to the test with great success. She has given me the "where do we go from here" and "do you love me like I love you" which I easily subdue. She has given shit tests that I ace and she still states "You are not what I want but I am here. IDK what you are doing to me". Read the guiding texts and learn.

In the end, I'm feeling great, my numbers are up, my account is still intact, and I'm looking forward to the next journey. I just again want to thank all those that have called me faggot over the year and those who actually contributed their experience and knowledge to me. Thank you.

The journey never stops.


Post Information
Title FR: Long road to the end...but every end is a new beginning
Author broneilbro
Upvotes 27
Comments 23
Date 11 June 2019 05:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/241552
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bz8f4r/fr_long_road_to_the_endbut_every_end_is_a_new/
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Comments

[–]simbarlionRed Beret7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy

Full circle. Congrats. Nice story for anyone who fears divorce too.

How's it working out with your daughter?

[–]broneilbro[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

It’s working out well for my daughter so far. The only hang up is the fact that her mom is bringing the paramour around and effectively grooming her.

My ex has introduce my daughter to her boyfriends family and he is sleeping over when my daughter is there. I’ve been thinking of a way to address that but in reality don’t know how.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can’t address it. You have to accept that reality and have the best possible influence you can while she is with you. Your daughter is going to live in two different households with two different dynamics and examples. She is smart and will realize what works in life and what doesn’t. Give her the example she will want to follow. Control what you can control.

[–]Chump_No_More2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

My experience under similar circumstance is, "kids will always gravitate towards the saner parent."

This isn't a competition and worrying about what your ex is doing is a distraction at best.

Living in your Frame as your MPoO, owning your shit like a boss, and being that lighthouse in the raging storm is what kids need and will be drawn to.

[–]GoodWillFunky2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nothing you can do. She will introduce this paramour and the next 10 paramours. She will do it now, in 2 months or in 2 years. It truly doesn’t matter. Be the best father you can be and be a good example for your daughter. Kids are smart and they grow up and realize shit. I did, kid from divorce here.

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That’s exactly what I’m doing. I guess the fact is that it’s more the impact on my daughter that is driving the “WTF?” On my end but it is what it is.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

How old is she? To me one of the biggest fears for divorce with young kids is some creepy dude hanging around my kids.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My daughter is going to be 5 and is aware. She’ll tell me that he slept over when she was there in mommy’s bed. I was incensed by that and just rolled my eyes. The very fact that her mom feels that comfortable is shocking but then again not surprising given solipsism is embedded within women to the core.

When I asked her about the fact that he had slept over when I was deployed she tried to justify that he is a nice guy and all this other shit to spin it.

I asked her “if you were deployed and I had a girl spending the night and playing family would you care?”

Again I only care about any impact on my daughter and if anyone says it doesn’t matter to them in my situation is lying.

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Again I only care about any impact on my daughter and if anyone says it doesn’t matter to them in my situation is lying.

Bullshit. You're a) trying to control her, b) butthurt you didn't alpha widow her, and/or c) (a+b).

I asked her “if you were deployed and I had a girl spending the night and playing family would you care?”

^ Exhibit A. ^

If you were that worried about your daughter's safety, you would call the cops, CPS, and a lawyer.

[–]JudgeDoom694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Be careful not to develop Oneitis for your new spinner. Remember, AWALT and she'll cut you loose at the first opportunity to upgrade.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah, definitely with that. The fact that she’s 26 and usually deals with fuckboys is something that is apparent to her.

Recently she was acting up and nagging. Told her I wouldn’t accept it and she threatened to leave. I told her effectively “ok it’s been fun” and that drove her insane when it came to the fact that I was so willing to let her go. Dread works to the T

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck all you guys that can get divorced this fast. My shit has been going on nearly two years.

Bitch wont go away.

[–]broneilbro[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know the pain through friends. It would have been faster and cheaper as the prenup outlined everything. She ended up getting a “women only” law firm that bungled it up.

Her lawyer referenced the prenup but then asked for things such as temporary alimony and me footing the lawyer bill. The funny thing is that when we pointed out that the prenup specifically denies those requests they were quick to settle. She ended up paying 5K when she didn’t really need to but it is what it is.

In the end when it was going to settlement she wanted a lump sum and that was it. The math was fuzzy but I kept the debt and paid her to go away.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

“This month I'm taking off and relaxing/resetting...”

Only gay thing you said.

“In the end, I'm feeling great, my numbers are up, my account is still intact, and I'm looking forward to the next journey”

The Journey never ends. There’s no gold at the end of the rainbow, only the nuggets you collect along the way.. The journey is the reward.

The hard part is keeping those numbers up, keeping yourself motivated, keeping that account full, maintaining your health, keeping yourself on your mission... when everything & everyone is trying to derail you and fuck you up. Don’t get complacent.

The hard is what makes it great. Enjoy life. A red pill man is happy.

Congrats.

Tell MCT more about this 26 yr HB.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Daddy concurs. Got any pics?

[–]nothestrawberrypatch2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Going through the same shit, going to follow your posts if you don’t mind brother. 9 months since she left the house. 9 months of being called every name under the book. 9 months of her family all turning their backs on me because of her bullshit prerogatives trying to excuse her affair. 9 month of bullshit lawyer talk that goes no where. 9 months of waiting on a god damn court system. 9 months of my time slowly being taken away from my daughter.

I can’t fucking wait to be sitting in front of a judge. If I wasn’t red pilled I’d be like all the “men” on r/divorce that are sitting at home sulking over their wife discharging them for some other dude. RP has given me strength to push through this time in my life. Sometimes my frame is shaken, it I have never let it get shaken in regards to dealing with my ex. This is imperative.

[–]broneilbro[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It is a journey and you need to understand that. I read that divorce subreddit and it’s toxic. You will find vast knowledge here but st the same time need to sort through it in a way that applies to you.

One thing you will need to do is that during times of weakness or setbacks you need to revert to the texts of the guiding principles. You will find yourself going back to what is comfortable and it will be cozy and warm but you cannot do that. Keep evolving and progressing.

[–]nothestrawberrypatch1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks man, I have slipped the last few months, but I’ve found my stride again. I’m outcome indifferent, trusting the process.

[–]broneilbro[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

The first thing is to recognizing the slip and second is to take revert to the process.

One thing is that being outcome indifferent can be a double edge sword as you can grow numb to things around you as you become slightly aloof to everything.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's a very important part of the process that we don't talk about that often - the real transition comes when you are able to drop your ego and step back and evaluate situations and your life and act congruently with what you want. You no longer see mistakes as mistakes but rather as learning opportunities and a way to improve yourself for next time.

Also, don't confuse outcome independence with literally feeling nothing and not caring. That numbness isn't the feeling you want as likely you are shutting yourself off from your emotions which given the situation is understandable. You need to be passionate about all kinds of things in your life and give your all to any endeavor that you undertake but never act out of fear just know that no matter what happens in life you'll handle it.

P.S. - i love this line - "You are not what I want but I am here. IDK what you are doing to me" it is just a continued confirmation of RP - attraction/desire isn't logical and can't be negotiated

[–]broneilbro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly, I guess I meant to say that with the foundations of stoicism it is well known that emotions can become numb to it. I’m passionate about things but I guess the numb is to recognizing actions out of my control “Oh you want to leave? Well that’s disappointing but good luck...”

I’m OI in the sense that I have learned that AWALT and that is a driving factor in their actions. I’ll drive the day and relationship but at the same time I’ll do what I want.

That line really got me as she is driven crazy by the fact that I’m a single dad, 8 years older, I don’t take her shit, and lastly brutally honest with her. She eats it up as she cannot make sense of why when I tell her the door is always.

It will always be a journey and that is what makes life fun!

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you are in the right mindset

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I loved reading your story faggot!



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