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Knowing what you know now, would you get married/have kids again?

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June 11, 2019
10 upvotes

More a question for those married for a while. knowing what you know about red pill theory and your personal experiences, would you do it again?


Post Information
Title Knowing what you know now, would you get married/have kids again?
Author virtualvirgincake2
Upvotes 10
Comments 82
Date 11 June 2019 04:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/241598
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bzeuy7/knowing_what_you_know_now_would_you_get/
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the red pill
Comments

[–]Cam_Winston2124 points25 points  (7 children) | Copy

Yes. Married my first date (I was her first date). I made her wait almost a decade before deciding to get married. I made the right decision. I guess it's generational as I'm in my 50s and do not recognize the majority of the women described amongst most of the manosphere. I married a submissive, faith-driven, faithful and devoted woman who is a fantastic mother and who defers to me to the point where she admits that she is dependent upon me for almost everything. Around my neck of the woods (the red state south of the USA), sluts are still frowned upon by the majority of adults.

I could easily find someone younger & therefore more physically attractive, there is no way I could find someone who is as good a woman/mother with an n-count of me. And I'm not looking to find a replacement, either.

[–]Grimsterr6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why hello slightly older (mid 40s here) version of myself. Every word you typed is exactly where I am, included the location. I did only make her wait 4 years to get married, but we didn't have a kid until 6 years after that.

And yes I would absolutely do it all again. My (only) kid's in his 1st year of college on a full tuition academic scholarship.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

A word of caution that this doesn't always work out. We dated for five years before we married, waited a decade to have a kid, and she still managed to suck off a soldier I was in the war with, and decide shes lesbian 7 years after our daughter was born. Both of us with n counts of each other, living in rural central Kentucky....

[–]Grimsterr-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

After 25 years of marriage I'd just wave and say goodbye. Our one kid is an adult in college and would likely choose to live with me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Besides the negative impact this will have on my daughter I honestly couldn't be happier. My map was to stick around till my daughter was 18 then leave, so things just got pushed forward a decade. Looking on it now this way is better. I'll have to move plans around a bit is all.

[–]lapeparoja1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So what are you doing in this subreddit then. Genuine question.

[–]Cam_Winston213 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Gathering wisdom. Imparting wisdom (mostly about lifting as I've done it for decades).
All revolving around improving me or maybe helping improve other men.

While this OP is a question about marriage, but this sub is about the man, not the marriage or the woman.

[–]cpotpie11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. I lurk around MRP and I’m not even married. Been thinking of having a social marriage (fuck the government) because I want a child. I’m here to gather the knowledge for the future. Plus I like imparting what little knowledge I have to others who are newer into their journey

[–]InChargeManRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, the big stuff would stay the same. A lot of the small stuff would change. At this point I'm where I want to be, just didn't have the right directions to get there.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kids yes, marriage no.

[–]phatphreak6669 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love my son who is a successful year-round high school athlete and scholar, but knowing what I know now he would not exist. I would have avoided his mother like halal pork.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

absolutely haram

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Motherfucker who cares about do overs?

I cant even get divorced.

[–]PillUpAss18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy

No reason to get married. Ever. Just being married is beta: telling her you agree to eliminating almost all of your options so she can slack off on things like sex and get a payout if it doesn’t work out. 0/10 would never do it again. Kids, maybe. Parenting is hard but at least it can be rewarding.

Been married over a decade.

[–]cpotpie11 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So then how do you suggest having kids without marriage? Social marriage without the contract? Will a woman have kids with you knowing she won’t be able to marry me? Legit question here and would appreciate your advice

[–]PillUpAss0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You’re way ahead of yourself and seem like you are young. My advice is live life and around 35-40 yo consider kids. You’ll be a different man by then and hopefully won’t need advice from internet strangers.

[–]cpotpie10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am young (20). Thanks for the advice. I’ll keep that in mind. Got a long way to go and I appreciate your feed back.

[–]PillUpAss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hmu anytime. It’s great to see young guys getting their shit together.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

When you say its rewarding, what do you mean as I hear that a lot

[–]PillUpAss2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ever coached or mentored someone? It’s that kind of rewarding plus a ton of work. Unless you are 100%, I’d default to no kids. As a man, you have a long window to make that decision, make sure you are all in before you do it.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Married red pill is an oxymoron. When you think about it.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that's why we're not TRP sidebar

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

If my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle.

[–]X-Trem03 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If my grandma had wheels she would be a bike

[–]creating_my_life8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a big no on both, Chief.

My marriage beta-ized me pretty hard, and only now am I understanding what happened--and how to fix it.

Kids? Fuck they've been awful. 99% pure crap with 1% cool. Too big a tradeoff.

My wife is a good woman, and a good partner. But I now realize the ONLY way for a man to have a successful marriage is to be attractive, be independent, and ALWAYS be willing to leave. And FFS if you're doing all that, why risk half your net worth in case some woman gets bored of you?

I would stay with one woman as long as she was adding value to my life more than any other woman I would find. Maybe that's a few weeks or months. Or decades. And then still be able to walk away if it was right for me.

If I had it to do all over again I would never compromise my mission for a single fucking moment. And that's what Marriage is...compromise.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kids - absolutely, kids are hilariously awesome. Marriage - yes, but I wouldn't have married the first girl I had a serious relationship with. I would have fucked a lot more when I was younger, vetted much better, and had a prenup.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd get married again and I'd have kids again.

So many fuckers living with regrets it's ridiculous.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could you elborate why? Im interested

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

No

[–]go-RED-go5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

In theory , yes I would probably do it again, but only after I fucked a bunch of very hot girls, made a bunch of money, got jacked, owned every aspect of my life and made myself an interesting man with a rock solid frame. I imagine this would be easier to acomplish while being single.

Now I'm trying to do all that (minus fucking a bunch of girls) while being married, in suboptimal financial situation and having a small child. And it's a hard mode. Having a son changed me for the better in many ways though, and its the most awsome thing.

But hey, I'm not the guy that feels like dwelling on the past is something worth doing, so I embrace the present and look forward to creating my future.

[–]hack3geRed Beret9 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

Fuck man you are a faggot - you pine for your old girlfriend who left you, complain that woman don't call you back and you can't get dates on Tinder.

I mean I won't tell you otherwise if you want to get married, pop out some kids, find three chads balls deep in each of your wife's holes, get divorce raped, see your kids once every two weeks and pay 80% of your salary to your ex - have fucking at it.

You haven't swallowed shit if at 24 you are thinking of getting married - fucking christ.

Instead how about you start to do some actual work on yourself - lift, STFU and read - make yourself a man worth a damn.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] -4 points-3 points  (6 children) | Copy

'Hurr lift man you fucking faggot hurr'

Can you fuck off? Its cunts like you that remind me why I never post on red pill.

I'm 25... I was asking because I'm reconfirming my view that its not worth it at all?

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Faggotry confirmed - see you in a few years after you get back together with your ex when she hits the wall and needs her beta bucks and then cucks you.

[–]scarmine343 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are a faggot. Real men can handle marriage because they can handle women. You're a little bitch who's afraid of the world.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yikes. Have sex faggot

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Using cost-benefit analysis, the amount of money and time you spend securing a mate can be cut by easily 90% by using porn. This is providing you use the time after to better yourself.

I'm not defending porn by any means, but I just don't get the circle jerk of porn is always bad. If you use it to get the release and then concentrate on more important things (other than women), I dont see the problem."

Sounds like a guy who definitely fucks...........his hand.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stand down cheif, ya got em

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a guy who definitely fucks...........his hand.

Wasn't that obvious from the start?

I was asking because I'm reconfirming my view that its not worth it at all?

How fucking gay do you have to be to live life through other people's opinions.

[–]redwall924 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

You're a programmer.

Dude ... Stop looking at the world like it's a program waiting for the right input to get the right output.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

What do you mean by this?

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your post history indicates you work in software. You expect a certain set of input parameters to always have the same output. That's the programming world.

One of your responses to this thread ...

Mixed bag of responses here. Some yes some no.. Interesting as I was expecting a response rate of 100% no.

Yeah ... that's life. The world according to your brain is binary. You need to break that thought pattern. It will not serve you well in life.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Well I was expecting a 100% here just as much as I would expect to go to /r/askwomen with a question 'Should women be able to vote?'

Just seems an oxymoron to be married and red pill, thus the question.

The crux of the issue for me, is that can you be red pill and be married? Mixed views on this it seems

[–]jcrptaRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because the world is not black and white.

It is very easy to read and learn about things (like RP ideas) and mentally digest them by categorising them the same way we do everything else in life. Techie people in particular are quite prone to this - we think in terms of black and white, true or false, yes or no - and so therefore everything we learn gets processed in that way.

Problem: our mechanism for digesting things works brilliantly for things that naturally work in that fashion (such as maths and physics). It doesn't work so well for things that don't naturally fall into simple true/false, right/wrong buckets (eg. human interaction).

In order to learn human social interaction (which is fundamentally what RP is: an advanced version of human interaction that you probably didn't really pick up in your teens, because if you did you wouldn't be here), you need to get out of this habit of categorising everything into nice neat yes/no, black/white boxes. That's why "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" is recommended reading: it deals extensively with two particular ways of looking at the world.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

oxymoron to be married and red pill, thus the question.

MRP is officially for guys who are already married and unplug while married. We do not endorse marriage in 2019. If you want to get married anyway against our advice we are here to help you pick up the pieces of your life.

Many guys on MRP ignore the official advice- thus the mixed bag of answers. Some of these guys don't listen to good.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He means that life is governed by Quantum uncertainty and probability not Newtonian Physics.

He means life is not a programmed computer game but is instead operated by an insane AI that randomly throws out shit for you to deal with. You can't reprogram the computer. You can only let the program run and enjoy the ride.

[–]mrpCamper5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

A few years ago I would have said no. Now, after finding this sub 4+ years ago, I will say yes. I'm doing it right and it is all good.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

yes, maybe different woman though

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How would you go about vetting for a woman if given another chance?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

there are several good post on MRP and TRP about vetting.

my issue is/was not vetting. wife is a bangmaid of the highest order. at 50 still very attractive, very classy, solid worker/earner, not a cheating whore, never deadbedroom, fucks me like a champ now that i got my shit together . . . and she's pretty boring. like cam; i think it would not be an easy thing to replace her, nor her $2 MM nut.

so not poor vetting, but rather poor understanding of self. i thought i'd be able to change a woman or myself so that a basic bitch could keep up with my high flying lifestyle. that being said, i'm aware that all of my wife's real qualities may be mutually exclusive with high flying bitch

[–]tap09885344 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. But I wouldn't be a career beta that turned a girl into a monster.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Truth

[–]tspitsatgp3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, absolutely.

Even if the past 18 months has been a dumpster fire and the previous couple of years to that were shit (though I was so deep in my beta funk that I didn’t recognise just how shit things had become), I do not regret getting married and having kids. I never regret the past because regretting something that has already happened is stupid. Learn from it and move forward.

Hot tip though: I don’t think you should get married if you don’t feel 100% certain it’s for you. I don’t regret getting married because at the time no other outcome was conceivable to me. A wife and kids was my mission from an early age, where I fucked up was failing to develop another mission after mission 1 (wife and kids) and mission 2 (starting a profitable business) had been completed.

Always have a mission.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. But I would be a better me.

[–]Bitr0t1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. At least not to her.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mixed bag of responses here. Some yes some no.. Interesting as I was expecting a response rate of 100% no. Thank you for the responses

[–]scarmine340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was pretty blue pill up until I started bartending and drinking way too much and doing a lot of coke. I started getting laid a ton, kept working on my fitness and just enjoyed life.

My turning point was when i was shitfaced and high and this hot little bitch I was hanging out with said something to piss me off and I grabbed her by the throat. The blue pill in me recoiled in horror but the drugs and alcohol kept me on point. I didn't see fear in those eyes - I saw lust. After, she confirmed that was the hottest thing that had happened to her. That was my red pill.

I got pretty lucky in meeting a nice girl in her mid to late 20's that still had a low n count and was pretty good looking. She wanted kids and marriage and was clear from the start.

It's been good. We have 2 boys now, I make good money because she's supported me in my career, and she is scared to death of being in her late 30's and divorced. We communicate well, and I think that is the thing. When I laid off working out and started getting fat - she told me. "Hey, no, I don't want to fuck because you're getting fat. I'm not. Fix it." I've said to her: "Wait a sec, are you on your period? Is that why you're being a bitch?" Brutal honesty has saved our relationship a few times.

My older boy is 3, and watching him learn is amazing. Watching him at 2 climb a rope ladder at the park was fulfilling. Listening to him sound out numbers as he learns to read is awesome.

I think I got lucky with the girl, but I highly recommend marriage and kids. Marriage is touch and go in these days, but common law hits you in most of the same ways, legally, so I don't distinguish.

[–]RisingUpAgain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I probably would have never realized what a faggot I was/ am if I didn’t have to question why my marriage wasn’t working. I would have just kept bouncing from failed relationship to failed relationship blaming everyone else for my failings.

[–]DirtyNuke2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, I would skip the kids and go straight to grandkids

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stand on your head for 10 seconds, and the answer will come to you.

If it doesn’t work, keep repeating until the answer comes.

You got this bro.

[–]RichardMcCarty0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not a chance. It’s a trap.

[–]nordicpolarbear0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Hell no on marriage. Hell yes on kids

[–]cpotpie10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And how would you suggest doing that?

[–]anakun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]ManguZa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck no

[–]CrazyLegs780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, but it took me way too long to become the man that leads her through life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely not on the getting married, although I love my daughter to death so ide probably have a kid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I wouldn't have got married.

The kids yes, but I wouldn't raise them by choice in a broken or split co parent arrangement so no to them too.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Love my kids, would do that part again... But I'd absolutely not have gotten married. I gave up all other possible pussy in exchange for 1 that was made available to me less and less over time. I assume she's been faithful, but no way to know for sure that nothing ever "just happened." I'd rather spin a few plates, all competing, all giving their best than settling.

[–]ghostofstevemcqueen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Kids? Maybe.

Marriage? No.

[–]27410 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, because getting married and having kids was one of those conscious choices you make to jump into a burning pit. As Nietzsche said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. My only regret in life is that I should have jumped into more burning pits. Both pits I jumped into I thought I was doing the smartest thing at the time, though. And neither pit gave me un-recoverable-from brain damage.

[–]Kenneth-760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Kids, yes absolutly.

Marriage, I dont know. I think the relations are the important part.

[–]nantucketghost0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely! Love my wife and it's been awesome. They key is being redpilled from the start. Been together 20+ years and married as long.

Knew she was the right girl for me right away. If you're not sure about a girl, then she's probably not the right girl. I knew a few months in, proposed a year later.

I hear other married friends complaining about a lack of blowjobs, or whatever, but it is their own fault. They don't have a plan. No fitness, very little forward economic movement, hobbies, etc.

Stay relevant. Keep bettering yourself and bring your wife along with you. Example: I signed up for a triathlon and signed my wife up too. Neither one of us had done one. She couldn't believe I signed her up (just a sprint, so a short swim, 14 mile bike, and 5k running). She did it. Loved it. Did many more after. The point is, I helped push her forward and made her better and more experiences also. She's quite thankful for it. Along with many many other things I don't have space to go into, but you need to push your spouse also along with yourself.

Reward her with experiences and bettering herself all along the way and she will always reward you back and will know that she made the right decision in being/staying with you.

Women want to be the girl in the room of girls who can brag about her man and what the two of you are doing and be the one in the group with the best stories.

If you make sure you're that kind of man, you never have to worry about her leaving.

[–]Thorondor_Rising0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. When you operate your life out of fear, and insecurity, that which you fear and make every attempt to avoid is what manifests in your life.

This also prevents you from operating from a position of authenticity; which will erode any relationship you manage to bamboozle women into entering into with you; it is the ultimate origin of a covert contract (if i safeguard against all avenues of egress; she'll love me forever; like mommy)

On that note, I am marrying again, with eyes open. The only caveats are that I won't marry a woman that doesn't have just as much to lose as I do; I won't marry a woman who attempts to undermine and power struggle leadership of my life; and continuing the marriage requires continuous investment; no delusions about forever, or "for better or worse".

With all that said, none of what I say really matters, here, because you're just a faggot looking to validate your presuppositions, insecurities, and fears; and in that case, you're right; you shouldn't marry.

[–]virtualvirgincake2[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

fuck off mate. You've clearly been cucked once and you'll be cucked again no doubt

[–]RedWhacker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd probably have way more kids just because of the massive I don't give a fuck attitude I'd have to screwing around.

[–]Goobergus_Gubbins0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tough question. I got lucky with a top-notch wife and really fun now-adult children. But it could have easily gone sideways with a miserable setup like the average cat. Getting married is a really high-risk move with an outrageous and uncontrollable downside. Worked out for me, but I wouldn't advise it for most guys.

[–]CommercialAdeptness0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No.

To put that in perspective, my wife is attractive, Christian, sexally available (now) and makes $180,000 a year.

The answer is because marriage and in fact all relationships with women are about POWER. Moreover, women are sexually attracted to POWER. Marriage removes all, or almost all POWER from men and gives it to women. Men have only one POWER left in their relationships with women- the power to nope out of their and leave her laying down alone in cat litter. Marriage seriously removes this power. Marriage gives women the power to deny sex, play games, alienate the children, prevent you from seeing the children, nuke the family from orbit, and then make you pay for all of it for the rest of your life.

The answer is no.

[–]useful_stranger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not without a solid prenup.

Not without understanding that the relationship is open on the physical side. Threesomes with her and others ideal.



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