707,481 posts

She's a reflection of me

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June 15, 2019
13 upvotes

So... I'm early on my journey (again, not sure why I fell off but anyway). My wife, mom of our two little ones recently told me the reason she doesn't want to have sex (let's put it this way, jerking off doesn't do the job and my human need for sex with a human is over the moon) is that she isn't comfortable with the way she looks (overweight and psoriasis). Do I want a wife that is motivated to fix herself when she sees flaws, yes... I've offered my support but ultimately put it as, 'its hard work and I'll help you, but I'm not going to waste my time in it if you don't want it'. (By all means it should piss her off that she can't meet my needs and doesn't even recognize that she has some buried somewhere. She did tell me that she feels like I pester and bug her about sex all the time... (I do make comments sexual where I can,

So back to the title of this post - she's a reflection of me... I've fallen off the boat of red pill several times for several reasons which ultimately go back to me being a faggot... Drunk captain, DEER expert.

My question is if AWALT, she should come along on a semi parallel journey, correct? I can't force her. It's like a dog on a very long loose leash she'll finally have to if I'm going the other direction at 100mph and she's stopped.

Anyway it feels like I shouldn't go 100% full speed with all concepts I've learned, but incramentally. as men we're logical so I'm trying to find a plan that tells me where ...

So how can I lead her to better ideas I'm making, in a way that gets her excited again. She just won't play along and she still won't fuck me if she thinks she's ugly she probably will not fuck me regardless...

Anywho -- general dialog is always helpful. Please let me know any up front info u might have that can help my frame or that I can use to get her to lose her pants.


Post Information
Title She's a reflection of me
Author UnlimitedEgo
Upvotes 13
Comments 61
Date 15 June 2019 05:57 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/242080
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c0u4je/shes_a_reflection_of_me/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
DEERAWALTframethe red pill
Comments

[–]HerukaArisen34 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is nothing you can do to make her have sex with you. It's totally up to her. What you can do is make yourself a man women want to have sex with. It's pretty clear you are not such a man. The recipe is the same as with everyone else: sidebar, lift & STFU. What makes you think you and your little (well, large) snowflake are somehow special?

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are right. Thanks for this.

[–]SepeanRed Beret23 points24 points  (6 children) | Copy

So ugly girls wouldn’t fuck hot guys? How are you buying into this stuff?

She won’t fuck you because you’re unattractive. And because you’re autistic I’ll spell it out: being attractive requires frame, game and looks.

One, stop listening to your wife. She doesn’t say anything that will help you, your relationship or her, on the contrary it is all deception meant to make you more beta.

Two, STFU, don’t talk to her about this. It sounds like you’re asking her why she won’t fuck you, ffs dude there’s a sidebar here, read it instead.

Third, stop thinking you have do something to her or for her. Just develop your frame, game and looks.

[–]hack3geRed Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s funny the things women say or make up in their heads. She’s not intentionally lying to him she just doesn’t understand why she doesn’t want to fuck him.

My wife has always said she has low self esteem and not liked her body - she’s a self proclaim vanilla girl. She doesn’t work out and is generally thin but she has wide hips and a big ass that she’s ashamed of.

Doesn’t matter any more to her though - the moment I walk out of the bathroom in just a towel now she’s peeling off all her clothes, bending over on the bed, sticking her ass out and begging to get fucked. I don’t even kiss her to try initiate now she’s just taking her pants off as soon as I am walking to the bed telling me to get my cock inside her.

You don’t have to do shit except be high value, have frame and look hot and they sure as shit will fuck.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the motivation.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Game has always been a struggle for me. And I don't know how to initiate with someone whom is always on their phone scrolling the dopamine drip of Facebook.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Game is a struggle as in you tried and it didn’t work, or as in you have approach anxiety? Have you done basic practice like talking to strangers?

What does it matter if she is on the phone? Just engage, man. If she keeps on with the phone, take it and toss it (just to the sofa ofc).

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not approach anxiety. I just don't get results so I don't know what works. I have 0 problems flirting with ladies out and about.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

pfffffffft. you suck so fucking much that finger fucking on a phone is more exciting.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando16 points17 points  (13 children) | Copy

You started posting here two years ago but you're still a clueless fucktard who doses himself with adderal and numbs himself with alcohol.

The only thing you got right is that she IS a reflection of you... a lazy, fat cunt who refuses to put any effort in but expects to get results.

See you in another two years. Keep us posted on your lack of progress.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

how the fuck are they still married

surely she wouldn't have branch swung her blistered swollen ass to some other fucken idiot by now

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's probably sedating herself too.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not that I know of, but I would have left me long ago too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you're on borrowed time cunt, you need to get your shit together and lead her to the promised land

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Surprised she hasn't. I am a joke of a man, I need to do better.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You would think with all the Adderal he would be skinny by now.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Thanks for the feedback.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Why? You're not going to do anything with it.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I am going to re-read the sidebar and get back to lifting this evening. But saying and doing are two different things. Perhaps I can prove it in time.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

None of this will be of any use to you unless you quit the drugs too. If you think otherwise, you're only fooling yourself.

This was you two years ago...

I don't have a fast crash at all, I simply feel like I'm starting to lose my mind. Winding down is now an important part of my become routine, that i share with my 18 m/o daughter. I give her a bath and start playing lullabies on Spotify while she bathes. We get her dressed and brush our teeth together. Then we make our way Downstairs to the recliner by 7pm we read a stack of children's books and discuss what's going on within the pages (she doesn't have much input). Finally at 7:30pm we kill the lights and I cast the lullabies to the Bluetooth speaker. We then rock in the chair with no TV or phone and she doses off on my lap by 8pm. I transfer her to her bed then I go lay in bed and read on the Kindle Paper white on minimal brightness for an hour or two and fall asleep when tired.

... you zombified yourself with stimulant medication. Turned yourself into a medicated nanny. Like a fucking 1960s housewife.

Then you wondered why you weren't getting any sex....

Now, my wife... She has let herself go and won't do much for herself (eat well or exercise). She has no regular friends, she doesn't have any hobbies except scrolling Facebook, and she lost her mom about 6 months ago but won't see a therapist or anything.

I really really need some sex, but I know I can't negotiate desire. I work hard (likely in the wrong direction). I could easily pull tail, however I'm married and that's a no-no.

And now, two years later, you're still in the same place.

What do you think the common link here is? In case you're too fucking retarded to answer that, it's the drugs. The drugs you are taking for a condition that was fucking made up to help sell the pharmaceutical companies shift mountains of drugs to people for enormous amounts of cash.

You don't need these drugs. You don't need any drugs. You need to quit them and start facing up to life and acting like a man, not some drugged out pussy who can't lead himself or his family.

Start lifting, hit the sidebar, STFU and quit the fucking drugs.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like SBIII has some crazy good posts and is like the Inspector Gadget of MRP.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're in a circle jerk of depression.

You won't quit the pills, therefore you won't/can't fix yourself, therefore you don't get the things you want (sex) that is driving you to take the pills.

Wake up dick bag. Take your life back and start making some real improvements.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"You can't fix yourself because yourself sucks".

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

she isn't comfortable with the way she looks

Next

she's a reflection of me...

I didnt see shit in your post about lifting.

What kind of condition are you in?

I wouldn't want to fuck you either.

[–]UrsanChief8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

You don't lead her, you lead you. If she follows, cool. If not, cool.

Have you ever seen your kids pester your wife for a treat or a toy? That's what your wife is telling you when she says you pester her about sex- that you're acting like a child and 1) she absolutely does NOT want to fuck a child and 2) she doesn't need one the pressure of your neediness when she already has kids.

I don't know much about Red Pill, I'm not even quite a year in myself but I can tell you from personal experience, even when I got in better shape, was lifting consistently, taking my kids away, NONE of that mattered while I continued to "need her" for sex. Shut that shit down. Never, ever give her a reason to start articulating OUT LOUD why she isn't fucking you, because once its out in the open it becomes tangible and that shit is dangerous. She probably doesn't need your help reminding her WHY she isn't fucking you.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You're a year out, how has initiation evolved for you?

[–]UrsanChief1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of 2 steps forward 1 step back type stuff. Lots of small moments of success followed quickly by realizing how far I still have to go. Its gotten/getting easier for sure. I really was ready to burn it down when I started; I didn't give a fuck if I stayed married or got divorced and that made it a lot easier to focus on improving myself and my relationship with my kids. It had stopped being just about sex a long time ago for me. As much as it gets repeated, it really is all about STFU, Lift and Read. I inevitably Rambo'd for sure, my inner autist has shined bright at times, but I'm still grinding away. I couldn't exactly pinpoint when but at some point I started to shift from an "everything is happening TO me"/victim attitude to "I make this life" and that's been huge for me. The iron teaches us to just show up, day in and day out. That's discipline and that's what this is all about- fuck my feelings, her feelings, your feelings, fuck my "pelvic tilt" and torn meniscus and Nice Guy Father who raised me. I'm still showing up.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When I was a year in, there was full sexual submission. She’s up for anything, anywhere, anytime (with respect to hygiene and privacy ofc). All I have to do is show her my dick, she gets on her knees and goes to work.

[–]FoxShitNasty835 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Stop just fucking stop, read it back to yourself. You are exactly like I was/am the last year or so in you are trying to change her! Your mindset is of "if I do MRP then my wife will fuck me". That's a big covert contract right there (I'm guilty of this too). You can't change her, you can only change you. She is the center of your world you need to become your own center. Read no more Mr nice guy and when I say no I feel guilty over and over again. You need to be in a place were you don't need her in your life. Start doing shit for you, golf, Jujitsu, lifting weights, what hobbies will get you out? What do you want to do? Build a life without her in it take ownership of everything in your life, the house, bins empty, kids, set some simple boundries a recent one of mine is "I don't have to do things people ask me if I don't want to, I also have the right to laugh and completely refuse if people aren't even curtious or show a basic level of manners" it's a boundary I can defend easily by not doing what the person wants. Start posting in oys weekly. Learn to fog and negative enquiry it will change the way you communicate with you wife. You will find this all very uncomfortable but it will get easier. Look out for the anger and STFU wherever you can.

Stop trying to fix her, I also got the "you pester me for sex talk". Your basically coming across as needy pawing at mummy for sex. It's not attractive, back off and reduce your initiations. Become physically attractive to all women. Lift at least 3 times a week. Also how do you initiate sex?

Take all of this with a pinch of salt, I'm working this shit out but it's easier to see this behaviour in your words than it is to see in myself.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I don't initiate sex well. She dogs on me about it if the kids are even remotely around, I'll smack her ass every once in a while. But she mentions that I ignore her unless the kids are in bed then I'm on her like a fly on shit wanting pussy.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Hahaha snap. So how do you change your behaviour?

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I need to learn.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Are you a man she wants to fuck? Stats?

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

No I'm not. I have some anger issues, I haven't been back in the gym in about 6 months. Yeah I'm a real piece of shit. I was more asking for some crawl, walk, run type steps to this stuff since I tend to go full force and then fizzle quick.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Full force? You seem to be lying to yourself there. Nothing about your post indicates you have gone into red pill full force. Don’t confuse Rambo as the same thing as going full force. You can go full force and not go Rambo no problem as long as you are calibrated.

Gym is the biggest indicator. You can go all out in the gym. Honestly, as hard as lifting can be sometimes it is really the easiest step here. It’s just you against heavy weight and gravity. It is predictable and measurable. It doesn’t have its own brain and won’t talk to you or test you in ways you don’t understand.

You can still slack and be a pussy in red pill after 2 years, but you should at least be sexy as fuck right now due to lifting. Why is lifting important? Rules are different for hot guys and all this shit we preach should be working by now for you.

[–]arm_candy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re lazy. There is no easy path. There is no magic motivation anyone can give you. It’s hard work to fix yourself.

Start with Steel’s guide.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/acvzgx/steels_guide_to_married_red_pill/

Lift. Read the books in the sidebar. Post in the weekly OYS thread and be honest with yourself about where you’re fucking up.

Do the hard work. Build the discipline. Or don’t. No one else really gives a fuck.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even if you don't go to the gym, why lose frame?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gym. Gym. Gym.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

So back to the title of this post - she's a reflection of me... I've fallen off the boat of red pill several times for several reasons which ultimately go back to me being a faggot... Drunk captain, DEER expert.

How the hell do you fall off? This is a serious question. I don’t understand how it’s possible if you’re lifting and have read TRM or MMSLP how someone can ever go back to “blue pill ways”. What’s your rationale why this is ok?

Also, you’re unattractive that’s why your wife won’t fuck you. Her fat flaky ass would fuck Chad no problem.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I think it has to do with being comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am not there yet. I started lifting, pulled a muscle in my groin and fell back into old habits. I shouldn't have done that. I got some good sex a couple times... And it was validation, perhaps a bit of monk mode would have helped.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Remember if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always gotten.

Are you okay with that? If not stop being a faggot and get to work.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not okay with that, I'm not okay with it at work, and shouldn't be okay with it in this situation.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tallies: 362 total words.

  • She - 17 (5%)

  • Her - 11 (3%)

  • Herself - 1 (0%)

Autism level: 100%

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

1000 ft rope and you work the levels of dread in order. No one goes 0 to 100 mph, it takes time to internalize change effectively and authentically. A huge mistake would be skipping right to level 10 or higher before you've put in the work and time.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for this. What kind of way can I know if I'm not fully internalizing it (people lie to themselves all the time).

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your actions prove who you are.

Your words prove who you pretend to be.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are bullshitting yourself. Quit the drugs and alcohol and get to work. Next thing you know 10 years have gone by, and you’re still a faggot

[–]BedroomFixer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't read all the comments, but I've read enough to know that this sounds like it's been going on for a while now.

BOTH of you need to work on yourselves, as well as do something to grow together.

How open to working on your marriage are you? Pre-frame : it's going to require a serious conversation with your wife. If you're up for it, and short term uncomfortability is worth it, then I have some suggestions.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go after what you really want and stop letting others convince you of a different direction.

Dread.

Lift. Arms. Pecs. Quads. Takes time and consistency

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can’t motivate someone to want to do something if they don’t want to. You slowly keep adding dread until either she breaks and comes into line or you break and pull the divorce cord.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she isn't comfortable with the way she looks (overweight and psoriasis

If that is the REAL reason, push through and screw her anyway. While she is blathering on about how she is not comfortable with her body ignore, put your hand over her mouth and whisper in her ear how much you want to fuck her. Tell her to shut up.

If she responds with passion then she is telling you the truth and only needed a little body positivity and a man with a strong frame.

More likely she is totally full of shit and hamstering like crazy why she is not attracted to her husband.

[–]framelessglasses0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are the definition of a troll.

You are wasting the time of these men that actually care about the manosphere. You are just feeding your bottomless need for attention.

Attention whores like you, can just get fucked.

[–]UnlimitedEgo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have direction. I have to define what my actual need of help is... Looking back I probably posted this for validation that I'm still a fucktard...

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Maybe she *does* want to have sex with you, she just doesn't feel comfortable because of her self esteem issues. Look on the bright side, if she didn't like you one bit she wouldn't care about your opinion of her body.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you take the pink pill by mistake?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think I've taken all the pills at this point.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, the red pill doesn’t seem to have taken effect.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope not how that works unfortunately. If she wanted to fuck him she would walk across glass to get fuck her in the ass by him regardless of how she looked.



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