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Their behavior, not their words tell you all you need to know

by dll142 | June 17, 2019 | askMRP


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Hi everyone. Working on getting better and better every day. For those of you that aren't familiar with me, I'm 42, 6'1" 225 lbs with good lifts. Financially well off and over 6 months into my MAP.

I wanted to point out some redpill truths I've seen in my own life and how my dear wife shit tests me and how I've learned to handle it properly. I'm sharing this info as both a learning and teaching tool. Feel free to comment and share what you guys have seen too.


My wife, professionally, is high performing pussy. She has a good job, a lot of pride, and wears her feminine "independence" like a badge of honor. She chirps constantly about how she "doesn't need a man... blah blah, yadda, yadda..." I get a kick out hearing her ramble. When she rants like that for some hamstery reason, at times, I'll do things like roll around behind her, grab her hips and dry hump her and tell her, "yeah, but you like my cock in you..." she laughs a bit, then pushes me away, and says, "stop acting like an animal!".... I tell her then, "I can't help myself... you make me like an animal..." she then laughs again and goes about her business, acting like she's completely disgusted and reviled.

Later that night she sits with me and starts touching me after the kids go to bed. Acting all flirty and affectionate, asking me to go upstairs with her. I go up and crawl in bed. She goes into the bathroom, comes out about 30 seconds later, naked. I immediately get up, scoop her up, pin her against the wall, then have my way with her. Women love to be manhandled. It ends with her in front of the bathroom mirror, me behind her with her....

Now the whole point of this story is to show that she acted like a "bitch" earlier in the day and puffed her chest out with independent feminine pride AND like she was completely turned off by my animalistic gestures, BUT she RESPONDED sexually to a man that laughed at her, teased her, and treated her like a silly little girl. I know how she TRULY feels based on her behavior.

Please share examples of what you guys have seen and how you handled it. Love to hear them.

Post Information
Title Their behavior, not their words tell you all you need to know
Author dll142
Upvotes 34
Comments 26
Date 17 June 2019 03:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/242327
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c1oqoi/their_behavior_not_their_words_tell_you_all_you/
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[–]scarmine3418 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

For the first few years I was dating my wife, due to work schedules and such we didn’t have a lot of whole days together. But- every once in a while, I’d find myself just fucking exploding in rage at something innocuous that she would say. Some shitty little comment would have me fly off the handle and I couldn’t understand why. Yeah, it was a shitty little comment, but shes still in a good mood, etc. -what the fuck is wrong with me?

The first piece of the pattern I identified was that it was always in the evening, the 2nd thing I realized was that it was always a weekend.

Finally, one day we are in the car and she gives me one of those little verbal jabs. This time, I got lucky. I was thinking about something kind of shitty she had said earlier in the day. Suddenly the pattern formed- I would explode because she would say something underhanded and shitty but that had plausible deniability, and then she would wait. And she would do it again,and again, and it took me the whole day to get to a point where I would explode.

What makes a woman suddenly change her behavior?

So this time I very casually said: “babe, are you on your period?”

At first, she looked horrified, but she also looked like she was nailed. She immediately recognized that she was and immediately tied that shitty comment to her period. And then she exploded in rage. Only this time, I just smiled. I waited out the shouting, then the silent period. I ignored her and drove. I had a little smile on my face and I was 100% relaxed.

After a time, she apologized. I said: “that’s ok” and I actually tussled her hair like I do today to my kids. And she loved it.

Sorry this story doesn’t end in sex, but I was proud of figuring out what the problem was, figuring out that she is a leaf in the storm of her hormones and that I am the oak tree. I’m still learning what frame is, and please weigh in if I have it wrong- but i was able to maintain my frame instead of reacting to hers.

It really changed my view of women, it was a big RP moment. I knew abstractly that humans mostly act and then post-rationalize, but I had never seen such a glaring example.

[–]cpotpie11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have it EXACTLY right! Frame is your subjective take on an objective reality. That’s the best way I’ve seen it put. You did exactly the right thing

[–]scarmine340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, man!

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Watch what they do, NOT what they say.

However, this is more nuanced. Women are programmed today to put up barriers and shit tests and to violently deny that they are turned on by animalistic behaviors and men who treat them like bratty little girls who are not to be taken seriously. That is what they say and how they ACT.

Except the "act" is just another form of words. They are "saying" I don't like assholes who disregard what I say and make fun of my ridiculous bullshit.

What they are "doing" is lubing up way down inside.

TLDR: Watch what they DO, not what they SAY: But understand that what they SAY is often reflected in their initial actions. Continue ignoring this defense- game playing/power accumulating- mechanism and when she turns to you, pound her little playbox into pudding.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Such an important concept that is easy to understand but hard to follow until a guy "gets it". This is why I down-voted a recent MRP post about overt communication. Trying to read tea-leaves in the things a woman says in order to determine your standing with her is operating within her frame and counterproductive to your mission. Moreso, deciding that you are in "RED ALERT, nuclear launch detected" mode based on the sounds that come out of her mouth is just retarded.

Now, I can hear a guy thinking "My wife should always be respectful, treat me like a king, etc, etc." Sure, sounds nice. But, respect is earned, not demanded. You can get there, but it is a journey, and there must always be shit-testing, even if infrequent, otherwise you are grossly misunderstanding your standing in the relationship. Also, if her being that respectful sweetheart makes you Feel So GoodTM, then by extension you must Feel BadTM if she doesn't make mouth noises the way you like.

Your emotions and feelings are dictated by you and you alone. The presence of others in your life (particularly your wife, but really anybody) is predicated on the idea that they follow your requirements for entry. Some things are a must, some are a "most of the time", some are "nice to have", and others are irrelevant to me. Another guy will have a different list. Make your list and make that list known to others, that is the most important thing you can do IMO. If you truly make your list (the real list, not some bullshit bravado version and not your 3 years from now list) and she can't/wont comply, no biggie, it just wasn't meant to be, lets head on down to the courthouse and get this all worked out, no harm, no foul, see you at the kid's recital. It's that simple (not easy, but simple).

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Exactly right. If there is a "one weird trick" to MRP, it is to imagine your wife is a 4 year old, especially when she is having an attitude. My kid might say all kinds of mean stuff if they are upset, it doesn't faze me (it's actually kind of cute), and I know it doesn't indicate how they really feel about me nor how I feel about them.

Now, with that being said, if my wife really acts up there will be consequences, including a smacked bottom, but that still has no bearing on how I feel about her. Just like kids, it is important for them to know where they stand and that you care. A kid without boundaries is not happy, they have to test the limits to make sure you care about them. Your wife is no different.

[–]hack3geRed Beret8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

I used to read stories here about guys spanking their wives and was like WTF I don’t see how that dynamic is even possible. I’d threaten her with it sometimes and smirk but never did it.

The other day she was being a bitch so I threatened again and she continued - so I grabbed her and bent her over in my lap on the bed and spanked her hard as hell. She got pissed and stormed off - later we are fucking and she flips over and says I’ve been bad and need to be spanked. Shit never ceases to amaze me - sometimes I don’t even know whose life I am living these days.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Domestic discipline is definitely not for newbs and especially not for a guy in the anger phase. It is also NOT SEXUAL. Now, she might enjoy some spanking during sex, but it is done in a completely different manner. I enjoy spanking her during sex. I get no enjoyment from a punishment, it means she messed up and we need to help correct it.

The psychological aspects are complex and too much to go into here, but there are a lot of good resources out there. I particularly like reading the thoughts of women in such relationships, it helps give a window into their feelings and what they hope to gain.

Also, as a caveat, if you are a man in a 24/7 D/s relationship, many of the standard MRP tropes don't directly apply (at least not if you don't understand their purpose). i.e. you can break a rule if you understand why it exists. One of the big points is that you are 100% responsible for her. Like a prized car. When check engine light goes on you don't ignore it, you figure out the problem, take ownership of it, and care for it. I expect my wife to share ALL of her feelings with me. I take these into account when deciding what is best for me, her, and our family. She needs to trust you as her captain 100%. She needs to know that you always have her needs as a top priority, even if a decision you have made goes against what she thinks she wants (doesn't happen often, but she needs to trust you when it does.)

A couple of examples to read from a quick google.

[–]scarmine340 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Domestic discipline is definitely not for newbs and especially not for a guy in the anger phase. It is also NOT SEXUAL.

You don't mean it to be sexual - but it is, for her, because her sexuality is entirely tied in to how she feels about you. And - spanking for punishment? That kind of domination? That changes how she feels about you.

That's why I believe this guys story - and what our red pill mod said above - she acts disgusted/pissed off/whatever, but during and especially after she thinks about it and the juices are flowing. Most women love that kind of domination and more importantly the confidence that it projects.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Semantics my man. Related to inter-sexual dynamics, yes, sexual, no. There is crying, regret, pain, sadness. No orgasms will ever come from one of my punishments. But as you point out, her attraction to me is in-part because I am man enough and dominate enough to lead her and care for her in this way, and that she can feel comfortable giving herself to me.

[–]hack3geRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She definitely didn’t enjoy it nor I during the spanking. I had run out of ways to lead her away from her behavior and figured I would give it a try before I removed my presence.

Not sure how that led into the sex later but obviously somehow it was related for her.

[–]scarmine340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the part that makes the laugh the hardest when some feminist talks about how rp is "toxic masculinity".

We are genuinely amazed when we see what a womans true nature is.

I was always a nice guy, until I started bartending, drinking way too much and doing a bunch of drugs that made me angry. There was this one girl I was trying to bang, and she was trying to make me a beta orbiter. One day she said something shitty while we were out partying and I grabbed her by the throat and shoved her up against the wall. My inner beta was screaming out in horror, but my outer, drug fueled angry persona was driving. After, she told me that was the hottest thing a guy has done to her in ages.

I couldn't stop thinking about that, and when I started reading about RP it finally fell in to place.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


“She chirps constantly about how she "doesn't need a man... blah blah, yadda, yadda..."

Just a shit test. Like feminism.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not taking away from the progress here, though I have a feeling it's not always this easy.

"yeah, but you like my any cock in you..."

careful OP. Digging deeper here what we see is a woman who likes to fuck. Not surprising. The question is does she want to fuck you or are you just the available dick?

Further supported by her initiating with you. I am not sure why guys think of this as the pinnacle of sexual attraction.

When she starts going on about independent women again and you can tell her there's a better use for that mouth. THEN you will have truly blown passed her shit test.

Keep trucking OP not bad progress.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Posts like this remind me how uninterested in the cat and mouse game I have become.

All this work to pin a woman up against a wall and fuck her.

Like that is some sort of privilege and like she doesn’t wanna get fucked to begin with.

She just had to play you for a bit first. Make you earn it.

Bitch will be a bitch as long as you tolerate it.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t go in the asktrp sub, every other post there is guys pining over how to bang a 21 year old when they are banging 6 other dudes at the moment.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Please share examples of what you guys have seen and how you handled it. Love to hear them.

Same, your wife treats me just like that too! But seriously congrats on the progress.

[–]SuperCrazy072 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You guys are doing something wrong...his wife treats me like a king and never shittests.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Was she ovulating?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Does the sun rise in the east?

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Does a bear shit in the woods?

[–]WeedInTheKoolaid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is a duck's asshole watertight?

[–]simbarlionRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My wife, professionally, is high performing pussy

The typical professional workplace is in most cases a "man's world", with the male social matrix rules applying (as linked by u/justpickanyusername over in mrp). Women in this environment put on a cloak of professionalism each morning to go and work within the male social matrix of team work, respect, dominance; all of which is not a her natural state of short term ideals, emotion, motherhood, etc. Her default programming does not fit in.

If you are lucky you get Tiger at work, pussycat at home. If you are unlucky you get Tiger all the time.

This dynamic may be contributing to the dichotomy you see in her behaviour

[–]dll142[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would agree. She needs to be put in her place from time to time. I see both tiger and pussycat at home, but tiger more often.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Patrice O Neil has a great bit on these professional women, lawyers, doctors and the sort. They just want to get fucked hard and not have to be the type A person in their off time.

[–]thatboyjeff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This was one of the most "shocking" things MRP taught me...

"Watch what she does, not what she says." ...- BUT, HOW COULD THIS BE?

That and pretending like she doesnt exist/pretending like shes a child when shes upset.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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