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Stages of mating applies only to a small percentage of a small niche of over-educated feminists. XPLAT "And isn’t it [..] a gamma socialist entitlement? “Those girls are doing it wrong, waiting for their epiphany phase [to marry]. They should marry younger, like before! They’ll be sorry one day!”"

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June 15, 2019
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Title Stages of mating applies only to a small percentage of a small niche of over-educated feminists. XPLAT "And isn’t it [..] a gamma socialist entitlement? “Those girls are doing it wrong, waiting for their epiphany phase [to marry]. They should marry younger, like before! They’ll be sorry one day!”"
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 13
Comments 18
Date 15 June 2019 04:10 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/242450
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/c0t9s4/stages_of_mating_applies_only_to_a_small/
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entitlementthe red pillfeminist
Comments

[–]red_philosopher8 points9 points  (16 children) | Copy

Given he's never married any of these supposedly amazing young thots that lived with him despite their best attempts to do so, I can't help but wonder if he's literally just insane.

And 1 in 10 isn't a small percentage? When you get married you have a 1 in 10 chance of having a long-lasting, happy, passionate, sex-filled marriage till death do us part? Wow, I think I'll totally sign up for that. Man, who would have thought that my chances were so good!

Is that why there are so many single moms in their early 20s looking for a man to pay for their kids? Because there's such a huge chance of finding a woman without miles of pipe laid down capable of actually making a commitment?

Time out.

Of course TRP is filled with beta wannabes. They've been trashed day in and day out and never found what they were looking for. Hell even people who have swallowed the pill retch it up and get dragged through the beta-blender again only to realize that they secretly haven't let go of the false hope of finding happiness with a unicorn.

Shit one in ten, have to get married 6 times to find one that'll stick on average, and that means going through FIVE divorces and the commensurate decimation emotionally and financially each time.

No thanks. I'll stick to my PUA-based gamma socialist entitlement thank you very much.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

My live in girlfriend's female friend was lying on the bed with us, and asked how it is that we became so close so quickly after meeting.

All I could tell her was that "it's complicated". Because I could see that she didn't have the type of personality that was suitable or ready yet to understand fast and healthy pair bonding. She'd have a great deal of inner work to do, just to be able to understand that she has a great deal of inner work to do.

Just because there is 10% of long term couples remaining passionately in love does not mean that you have a 1 in 10 chance.

You might have a 0% chance. It's not about how many times you hook up.

It's about being ready, willing, and able, and finding someone else who is.

Also, pair bonding doesn't have to mean marriage. I still don't see much reason to get married.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"it's complicated"

Mystery is always a good answer.

[–]red_philosopher2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Also, pair bonding doesn't have to mean marriage. I still don't see much reason to get married.

That's fair enough.

It's still a difficult proposition however. If the average is 10%, then it follows that you'll need an average of 5-6 LTRs of significant length to find one that sticks. Say it's 3 years long, that's 15 years of LTRs with no inkling of the time between them. Say it takes 1-2 years between them to really find the qualities you're looking for. That's 20-25 years of searching, and if you start in earnest when you're 25, you could damn well be near 50 by the time it comes up.

I love women, I'm even an advocate of pair-bonding because I simply enjoy it more than pump-and-dumping, but I'm not holding my breath expecting it to work out until the end of my days either.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I disagree with your premise that quality of relationship is random chance.

I believe that there are variables that directly relate to quality of relationship that are under control. However most of them take years of personal development.

I don't believe that this is an egalitarian state of affairs, where all men and women have an equal shot at the 10%, and all they have to do is keep gambling until they get their 10%.

I think that's completely the wrong end of the stick to grab; the exact opposite of a pragmatic point of view, and it's a view that could lead to very bad outcomes.

[–]red_philosopher2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, I'm totally on board with your position that you are in control of yourself and what you look for, don't get me wrong. We're talking about entire populations on average here. Individually, yeah sure.

It's not all a crapshoot, but given the state of affairs these days, it's no surprise that people simply stop wanting to look.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

you could damn well be near 50 by the time it comes up.

I'm 53, and have been living with my girlfriend, who is 30 years younger than me, for 1.5 years.

It's the first time in my life where I haven't had the urge to date other girls at the same time. Many times in my life I've had more than 1 GF, sometimes yes even if I had a live in.

That's just my very personal life story - that could never be a prescription. But I really enjoyed my life - all the ups and all the downs. I don't see dating as a sad struggle and a dissapointment compared to some idealized idea of young marriage and happily ever after. I never wanted young marriage or happily ever after.

I'm still not looking for happily ever after. That just doesn't enter my mind.

As usual, this girl tells me daily that she wants to live with me forever. What is unusual is that the idea seems fine to me. I like her, and am into her, and physically she is my style. We fuck daily, and it's good sex. Laugh a lot. It's very fresh, even though we spend most of our waking time together.

Of course I've had a great deal of practice in how to maintain strong passionate love affairs, year after year, and even when living together. Practice really helps. It helps me, and it helps her.

I like the whole process. I don't really understand all the negativity around it. I have had facial surgery, am extremely fit, for any age, and wear a wig. Even though I'm short and ugly, I can very easily compete; my GF is proud of me and her friends want to fuck me.

Hypergamy is a godsend. It's a manual for how to improve. I play the piano, and that makes a big difference. I've learned my own styles of humor and charm. Big difference. I've practiced years of chi-kung and tantric sex. More difference. There are endless areas of improvement that makes hypergamy the reason that women can come to you. Not leave you, come to you!

All this talk from the bottom position, as if hypergamy were a bad thing. I spent over 6 months only eating every second day, and going to the gym on food days.

How do you think that hypergamy treats a man who does that?

Yes, I do understand that not all men have motivation on tap, and some genuinely have some mental obstacles that could mean they can't attract and keep someone they find fuckable or good company.

But these guys are often so noisy, and complain to guys who CAN improve, and who DO have sexual-marketplace class mobility.

Guys would be shocked at just how much mobility is possible.

Fitness, personality, charm, surgery, wig, music, business. A guy can be good enough to routinely attract what would be beyond the imagination of normies.

[–]red_philosopher2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree; I was a lazy slob who was fat, unfit, and was a sad sad sad example of mental fitness. I stumbled across TRP, decided fuck it I don't have anything to lose, and put in the time and my life changed. It seemed like it was overnight. I had women groping me in public all of a sudden. I was getting sexually assaulted by women in public. Holy shit. I was shocked at how quickly the quality of my life changed. If anything, it made me incredibly cynical, though that too is waning. Eventually, I imagine, you just stop giving a fuck and do what you like to do.

So yeah, it's about putting in the time to reap the rewards. You keep doing it, you keep reaping better and better rewards. Sometimes life kicks you in the balls, but if you get up and learn something from it, you're all the better for it.

I never would have believed it either.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm of an older generation than a lot of the guys who post here, so I suppose I was socialized differently. The way some people talk here would have been frowned upon even by my high school friends. A term like "supposedly amazing young thots" when talking about a guys live in girlfriends. Hmm. That would have been frowned upon and considered a bit anti-social in my day.

I haven't been active on this forum in a while - I guess 6 years. I recently read a comment that people who are active in forums like this, and then apply their learning, no longer need a community of support because they can then go on to successfully date. It was said that some stay on posting to help the newer generations of guys who need a helpful leg up.

People who could use a leg up sometimes seem to be the ones most trying to pull down those who could help them. Not very incentivizing.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know what stats wordpress gives you, but we've linked to you now and again over the years since the 2013 ama series. You're one of the few still plugging away. Glad to see you again.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I've always been happy to get the extra traffic.

I don't make any money from that blog. One of the many reasons I write is out of social concern. I have found some pleasures and pitfalls in life, so I talk about those.

[–]red_philosopher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If we're going to talk about respectful discourse over one's live-in girlfriends, I could imagine my statement being particularly anti-social. But if it's pretty likely that if you didn't marry any of them, they probably were on the CC anyhow, and basically don't fit the definition of "marriage-material".

People who could use a leg up sometimes seem to be the ones most trying to pull down those who could help them. Not very incentivizing.

Elaborate.

[–]Random Xpat Rantingsxsplat1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can anyone explain to me why MGTOW guys are attracted to post on TheRedPill? It seems to me that MGTOW guys are looking for nothing other than companionship of fellows who share their point of view. They are antagonistic to tips for how to have passionate pair bonded relationships, and dissinterested even in applying self improvement strategies that could up their socio-sexual status and ability to attract girls for whatever type of relationship they might find interesting.

Don't the non-MGTOW guys find MGTOW talk to be noisy and disruptive?

Seems to me that MGTOW guys are DELIBERATELY disruptive. As if they aren't fucking, and are shocked shocked shocked that other people would want to. Always denying that some people successfully date, or, god forbit, successfully pair bond.

Seems like a political cult to me. Strange bedfellows; it's completely at odds and antithetical to bringing in attractive and healthy women into ones life.

I consider Rollo to be, as Nash says "the king of the MGTOWs". MGTOWS feel relieved and comforted knowing that it's best just to give up, because hypergamy and all women are like that and divorce rape. I think it's important for everyone in any sort of red pill community to thoroughly familiarize themselves with Cluster A schizoid/paranoid avoidant adult attachment style. MGTOWs seem to me to lean very heavily cluster A, as do the the Pump and Dump school of PUAs.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's a strange dichotomy in the manosphere right now. I personally still follow Rollo and find a lot of value in what he writes as a basic framework. But I don't think things are nearly as absolute as he makes them out to be.

I think that once you've managed to get a good amount of red pill knowledge under your belt, there's no reason why you shouldn't consider long term relationships and try to cultivate some of the things you couldn't do spinning plates.

I keep in mind the old "awalt" and Briffault's law, but they don't play a large role in the day-to-day. And I certainly don't expect to always be on the verge of losing everything the way Rollo would describe.

I think there are really two categories for MGTOW- Guys who went through it all and have been through the wringer and have nothing left to give. Those are the guys paying alimony and child support and struggle just to see their kids enough. I don't blame them for checking out of the system.

But there's another group- they don't call themselves MGTOW anymore, they call themselves incels and brag about it. They haven't gotten laid, they stopped trying and they assume they could never so why bother. It's not that they feel Rollo's predictions would most certainly come true so why bother, it's that they've never experienced the intoxication of the mating game to begin with, and so let's play video games and talk about how ugly we are.

We're hard on the incel crowd because they're defeatist and don't try to improve. But part of me realizes that with the state of the sexual market today there will have to be losers to some degree. My only solace is the fact that if you're driven enough to seek out this information, you're probably not so far gone that you couldn't take the advice and move up in life.

But I guess not everybody has the same drive for success.

[–]redpill773 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

But part of me realizes that with the state of the sexual market today there will have to be losers to some degree.

How could there ever not be? Enforced monogamy makes top men and most women losers. Hypergamous freedom means most men are losers.

But I guess not everybody has the same drive for success.

If there was somehow an equal drive for success, there would be pressure placed by female selection to keep competing until there was an established hierarchy.

Maybe we need to start using language that reinforces the notion that there are men, and there are Men. We often make the same mistake of feminists: they talk about women and all men as if they have similar aptitudes and experiences, when in reality women, men in general, and successful men all must have their perspectives considered separately in order to actually get to the bottom of things.

[–]red_philosopher3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can anyone explain to me why MGTOW guys are attracted to post on TheRedPill? It seems to me that MGTOW guys are looking for nothing other than companionship of fellows who share their point of view. They are antagonistic to tips for how to have passionate pair bonded relationships, and dissinterested even in applying self improvement strategies that could up their socio-sexual status and ability to attract girls for whatever type of relationship they might find interesting.

It's not abnormal for people to cluster around people who share similar thought processes. It's a very basic tribal mentality. A lot of MGTOWs I know have no trouble dating or forming deep pair-bonded connections, they simply don't see the risk being worth the reward. So they invest more of their time in their male friendships, and since TRP is basically all men who recognize and accept hypergamy to varying degrees, I'm not surprised that they gravitate here as well.

If anything, MGTOW and TRP advocate for the same thing, self-fulfillment through self-mastery and development. TRP just goes towards a different destination than MGTOW does.

I think it's important for everyone in any sort of red pill community to thoroughly familiarize themselves with Cluster A schizoid/paranoid avoidant adult attachment style. MGTOWs seem to me to lean very heavily cluster A, as do the the Pump and Dump school of PUAs.

I think everyone should familiarize themselves with attachment styles, and with cluster-A and cluster-B disorders.

While some MGTOWs may very definitely fit the Avoidant bill, and the Pump and Dumpers, it's very likely a broad generalization made without evidence. Psychopathic tendencies can lead to the Pump-and-Dump behavior as well, actually probably even more so. That doesn't make all PUAs heavily-leaned towards psychopathy.

[–]zephyrprime0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

God you need a better title. Beyond the fact that it involves feminists, I cannot tell what this thread is about at all just from the title.



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