About to kick my LTR to the curb, she wanted a break, confesses to kissing another guy during it. Would love any advice.

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June 8, 2019
107 upvotes
/r/asktrp/comments/bye9fj/about_to_kick_my_ltr_to_the_curb_she_wanted_a/


Post Information
Title About to kick my LTR to the curb, she wanted a break, confesses to kissing another guy during it. Would love any advice.
Author YNGBLOOD13
Upvotes 107
Comments 92
Date 08 June 2019 11:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/242601
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bye9fj/about_to_kick_my_ltr_to_the_curb_she_wanted_a/
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long term relationship
Comments

[–]Zanford194 points195 points  (16 children) | Copy

Walk away. "Break" is just a way of saying "I want to fuck someone else between now and our next date, and have it not technically be cheating". Especially if the break was her idea.

Kissing the other guy might be trickle-truth. Maybe she just kissed him....on the cock for 10 minutes then gargled down his cum. If you take her back and kiss her again, let us know if it's salty.

[–]omega_dawg9346 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy

you typed "might be."

the truth from women is ALWAYS the trickle truth.

they never give the whole truth... never!

[–]Greaterbird24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. Yep. Me talking to my ex, while we were briefly entertaining the idea of getting back together:

"I haven't had sex since the breakup.... and if I did I would have used a condom!"

Riiiiiight. Just like that other time I'm supposed to forget about. Like who are you trying to fool with this bullshit. We're broken up. You don't have to lie about this.

[–]EvolvedVirus12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

No wonder they put that "the whole truth and nothing but the truth" part into court oaths.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat74 points75 points  (9 children) | Copy

More accurately, when a guy says he "wants a break", he means "I want to fuck other girls". When a girl says she "wants a break", she means "there's this guy whom I find very attractive and consider a serious step-up compared to you, and I may even have fucked him already but if I haven't yet then I most definitely will do it as soon as we can agree we're on a break so that technically I will not be cheating, because I want you, myself, and everyone else to believe I am a good girl".

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, in every story here about a 'break' suggested by the girl, it turns out she already had a specific guy in mind. There was one where she meets a new guy at a party, then goes into the next room to tell OP that she wants a break, then goes back to new guy's room and fucks him.

Same whenever you see a story about the girl suggesting an open relationship, and trying to sell it to beta hubby like he'll have Playboy Bunnies crawling all over him. The girl has a new guy picked out to fuck but she wants hubby to keep paying rent.

And in the few cases where the guy does snag a newer, hotter side piece thanks to the open relationship, you find the story on some default relationships subreddit where she's having a meltdown and declares the guy is emotionally abusive for daring to actually fuck someone else in the 'open relationship' and she wants takebacks on the deal.

[–]hambre10280 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

You literally just said the same thing for men and women, just because it's drawn out doesn't make it different.

[–]Eulerbrah1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

fuck other girls vs branch swing to a man better than you

[–]hambre10280 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I mean the question is honestly which is worse? Leaving for meaningless sex or because you're actually interested in another person? But also, wouldn't the men just be branch swinging into other pussy? these are both equally shitty

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I thought my point was clear enough but I’ll dumb it down: guys break a relationship to become free to find new different sexual partners but women do it because they’ve already found (and sometimes, banged) the replacement. Better?

[–]hambre10281 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Both sexes literally do this equally, this isn't really trp stuff its actually just bias.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You still don’t make sense. I described two different, incompatible behaviours. Which one do you claim both sexes “do equally”?

[–]organicfluxx0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He means men and women do both behaviours.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But they don't. Men take a break when they know they can find other women. Women take a break when they have already found another man. Men are risk takers. Women go from vine to vine.

[–]inittowinit77719 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

The last paragraph. 100%. Listen to this guy OP.

[–]moltenw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is no break, only a break up.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every young blood everywhere needs to hear this lmao

[–]RedUtopia216 points217 points  (10 children) | Copy

You don’t need anymore advice bro. You know what to do

[–]ChefCremeFraiche 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

Exactly. Anything other than this advice is providing fake comfort. Break up. You teach others how to treat you.

[–]babybopp193 points194 points  (8 children) | Copy

When I was a kid, I was busted for stealing cookies. I knew the gig was up so I confessed to stealing only two... When in fact I had eaten more than 12.

She confesses to kissing.. he fucked her at least four times.

[–]uwotm89140 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy

This guy gets it.

[–]Yoshiiiiiiiiii1013 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

^

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

[–]EvolvedVirus31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

You did what?!

You fucker, this gets reported straight to the universal cookie ledger.

[–]GreatMenderTeapill13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got one of those new block chain crypto cookie jars.

[–]eccentricrealist6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

To pull a big heist you gotta take a small hit

[–]HB3234104 points105 points  (2 children) | Copy

Her branch swing failed. The guy didn't want her as anything more than a plate after she threw her relationship away for him.

You don't want in on that.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy

Her branch swing failed.

Bingo.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon72 points73 points  (0 children) | Copy

begging and crying hysterically to get me back.

It's always worse than she says it is. Probably more than kissing.

Cut her out, full ghost. Find other women.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev55 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy

When a girl asks for a break, just break up with her then and be done with it. Asking for a break is just like asking to see other people: She wants to try out some strange, but still hold onto you in case the new guy turns out to be an asshole.

[–]Greaterbird12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's going to fuck him either way. Might as well cut your losses before she starts turning super shitty.

[–]TheRealEyesWideOpen36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

One chance, per person, per lifetime.

[–]amrit21chandi7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

New motto.

[–]fnncktbjhmkhed19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Iron rules, read them

[–]CharlesChadworth14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has made it just that much easier. Break up and never look back.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's some advice. Don't neglect the core. Most guys working on the heavy lifts usually neglect the core somewhat. However, it's quite foundational to levelling up. As to your predicament, you know what to do. Don't forget. No contact.

[–]throwitdownman10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she cheats, she’ll repeat. Cut her out cold turkey - she should not be in a part of your life or thoughts anymore.

[–]sircomeseyesd9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont back out. Move on.

[–]Greaterbird8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She'll respect you more if you go through with it. And she'll do more than kiss if you don't once she sees you'll put up with it. Women are like that. Find someone who can keep their damn legs closed.

[–]TimSimply5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Happened to me 10 years ago, same script. Wanted a break, cheats, "kisses" another guy, begs to have the relationship back.

Eventually it trickled that she actually fucked the guy.

It will never be the same now that trust is ruined. Break it off.

[–]masterduelistky2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do the biggest favor to yourself, and just end it here. The sooner you end, the faster you'll heal. Like others have said, it's always worse than you think it is...

[–]empatheticapathetic 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Tell her you’ll get back together with her if she agrees to wear black face around you at all times.

[–]Velebit 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

If she cosplays as mr popo all the time and barks

[–]empatheticapathetic 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You’re showing your age

[–]Velebit8 points9 points  (21 children) | Copy

You can demote her to a plate if you like the sex. She will do her best to please you, you can even try to get her to a threesome and whatever sexual stuff she did not want to do before.

But if you are too emotional I understand you will want to end it without anything further.

[–]Lanfo014 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this idea.

[–]0io-4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I always feel that's the best option. If sex is good, use for sex. Just be more and more demanding, ask for whatever you want. If you get it, great! Win free sex!

If she bails out, oh well, you don't even have to bother breaking up with her.

I think a lot of guys become sexually boring after they get in LTR's and underestimate their girl's wild desires. If you were having threesomes with her and another girl, she wouldn't be so bored and asking for a break so she could get some strange.

[–]Velebit5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably. My female friend and her boyfriend are only together because sex is the best they both had. They shout and fight and slam doors regularly and he rides a bycicle and works as a waitor at 36 while she is 23.

[–]CheesyStravinsky2 points3 points  (17 children) | Copy

It's hard to tell why this wouldn't be the answer?

Why not have some threesomes out of the situation?

Was the guy under the illusion she was a virgin before? lol

Every woman in the modern world has fucked hundreds of men and swallowed their cum, so why would one more matter?

[–]Velebit3 points4 points  (16 children) | Copy

Well, thank you for acknowledging my suggestion but it is going too far to say every woman is a debaucherous dick addicted slut. There are several autistic women that I know that are barely interested in sex of any kind or even any other sensuality. They don't get too much into other sensualities like eating, exercise, alcohol, gambling etc.

The thing about women is, those who are most fun tend to last the shortest as a relationship, but to assume everyone is equal is just factually incorrect. There is quite a lot of wife material around and virgins at 25 even, especially in smaller communities, rural places and backwater regions. But the sluts at backwater regions are on another level as well. Two guys (late 20s and 30s) in a rural backwater small island got arrested because they had consentual stuff with some very young teens. Seems they just chatted them up on a beach and went to en empty building nearby. Apparently the girls told another person and that person reported it to police.

[–]CheesyStravinsky1 point2 points  (15 children) | Copy

I suppose...but I thought this sub was always saying All Women Are Like That, meaning they all have tons of sex.

I mean, obviously asexual women don't count I think?

[–]Velebit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I actually have a fairly large critique about the trp worldview. It mostly caters to r selected people with fast life strategies

Also if you read books they recommend and follow the thought line to its founders you get to 'Sex at Dawn' and 'The Selfish Gene' books which are just not very factual about key things or misinterpret many of them.

I will find my comment and send it to you as a reply to your own comment.

[–]AnEyeForAnAye1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

AWALT doeant mean every female has had the same experiences. AWALT means no matter what kind of " unicorn " you have , no matter the type of " good girl" you have, her psychology is the same. EXAMPLE hypergamy, branch swinging, shit tests etc.

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

What the difference?

All women are the same; all women can easily have sex whenever they want; so why wouldn't you assume all women have fucked hundreds or thousands of men?

[–]Onidramon1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

All women are like that means all women are capable of that under the right conditions. Consider this: all dogs will wag their tails when pleased and bite if agitated too much, but there are still often big differences between different individual dogs’ temperaments and agitation thresholds

[–]CheesyStravinsky1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why wouldn't every woman be a slut?... Well, maybe not transwomen I guess. But cis women? Outside of places in the world where they kill women who are promiscuous I guess. But in a country like America?... If you're lucky enough to be born with a vagina, you have genitals that orgasm in an UNLIMITED way, and you can have sex any time you want. Why wouldn't everyone born into that condition have thousands of sexual partners?

The podcast posted on here recently, Call Her Daddy, is like the 8th most popular podcast in the entire world and it's literally just girls talking about how all girls are sluts that fuck hundreds of men constantly + they even talk about how to hide it for some reason lol

What is the counter argument? Why would you ever suppose the average woman you're talking to hasn't had hundreds of sex partners at a minimum?

It just doesn't make sense to me really. What would make a woman stay a virgin? A bizarro medical condition maybe that makes sex super painful maybe? Outside of that, though...why wouldn't every girl be a slut?

[–]Onidramon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All women can and will be sluts for the right men given the right opportunity under certain universal conditions. That’s what we mean when we say they’re like that. It doesn’t always happen, because it’s contextual, but you operate as though it’s a given. Hypergamy is opportunistic. Opportunity doesn’t always arrive. It means your best bet is to assume that they have and/or will, even if you can’t guarantee or prove it. Because common sense.

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Opportunity to fuck arrives by the hundreds every single day if you're lucky enough to be born with a vagina...

Not sure what you're saying here...

[–]Onidramon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

In other words: has every woman, without a doubt, taken miles of dick? Most likely not. People’s lives are too different to say with certainty that they’ve done the same things. Do you assume so anyway to preserve your best interest and prevent oneitis? Absolutely.

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You can't assume something you know is false... it's either one or the other.

If you really think most women are pure virgins, then you can't assume otherwise.

But I have no idea why you would assume that?

[–]AnEyeForAnAye0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well if you think every female is a slut from the get go ( and again could be, could be not ) then either you'll have to go full nihilism or just enjoy the ride.

Understanding that if you meet a " good girl" that loves you will all her " soul " and all that Disney stuff , but you act with very beta behaviours then reality sooner or later will hit you like a brick wall.

AWALT doesn't mean every girl is a slut or will cheat on you. AWALT means every girl can potentially BE a slut and potentially WILL branch swing if at a right time, a right male will come a long while you show beta tendencies.

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Why wouldn't every woman be a slut?... Well, maybe not transwomen I guess. But cis women? Outside of places in the world where they kill women who are promiscuous I guess. But in a country like America?... If you're lucky enough to be born with a vagina, you have genitals that orgasm in an UNLIMITED way, and you can have sex any time you want. Why wouldn't everyone born into that condition have thousands of sexual partners?

The podcast posted on here recently, Call Her Daddy, is like the 8th most popular podcast in the entire world and it's literally just girls talking about how all girls are sluts that fuck hundreds of men constantly + they even talk about how to hide it for some reason lol

What is the counter argument? Why would you ever suppose the average woman you're talking to hasn't had hundreds of sex partners at a minimum?

It just doesn't make sense to me really. What would make a woman stay a virgin? A bizarro medical condition maybe that makes sex super painful maybe? Outside of that, though...why wouldn't every girl be a slut?

[–]AnEyeForAnAye0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I read your post and I was confused as i am completely agreeing with you.

My AWALT comment was to the user /u/Velebit who didn't think this view was accurate.

Sorry for waisting your time bro lol

[–]CheesyStravinsky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ah ok lol All good, spread the truth!

[–]NobodyP12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Whenever a girl says she needs a break in a LTR that’s a army of red flags that a blind man could even see it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. GTFO. If she already crossed that line, and you stay with her, years from now, you will be raising another motherfuckers kid, believing it’s your own, or hosting Mandingo parties for her.

This isn’t what you want to hear, but she probably had him picked out before asking for a break.

Be strong and leave. It will lead to something way better.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have a bro on hand. She'll be less likely to fly off the handle(funny how nutty people are able to selectively control their outbursts...) and he can film things if she does. Everyone thinks they owe a partner one-on-one breakup drama time. Screw that. You'd want to be there as backup if your sister was breaking up with an unstable dude or your friend's bipolar ex-wife was trying to fabricate allegations against him.

Then block her number. Be the adult in the room and resist the urge to toy with her. Don't hassle her over small amounts of money owed or for the return of gifts, which she might try to use as an excuse to leave herself a backdoor into your life.

[–]robbiedigital0010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Totally agree, good advice here, keep it short and sweet then total block

[–]Lego_My_Alter_Eggo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

????????????????

lol

what do you need advice for. fuck that bitch

[–]groundkarate891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

'Kissing'

[–]jenovajunkie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You let that slide, where does it stop? Give an inch, they'll take a foot.

Break it.

[–]MYMOUTHISNUMmn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why not just plate her. Not like you have to keep it relationship status. Tell her we wont be together anymore, but we can still hangout.

[–]Meloxian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she wants you back make her suck you dry all night long, get texts to cover your ass and then kick her to the curb.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The plate idea isn't bad, otherwise hard next

[–]nicyhasreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she wants someone else fuck her off

[–]Snowaey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

lmao fuck that bitch

[–]StopGaming12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the topic of a "break" comes up, it's already over. A past LTR of mine said she wanted a break, I gave her one forever :)

She broke down crying and how she didn't think about the consequences and she just wanted some time to think. Woops, sorry!

[–]ppanthero1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, thats not even a question of “is she what i want to have in my life?“ or “ can i do better?“ but simply cheating and disrespect from her side. You won't be able to fix it, even if you try. So you know what to do.

And keep in mind that more likely than not the kisses were actually a bit more than that.

[–]Anasthaesium1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Plate her. Keep fucking her. Don’t let easy pussy slip through

[–]robbiedigital001-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree, cut her off, why even have someone as a plate that has fucked him over, shell try and get back in his head again, best to totally cut her out

[–]All_fixed_again0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Kissed"=trickle truth

She did things with him that she would not do with you in bed

Get plates

[–]GingerBeard_JM0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t even give her a chance to explain. End it with no closure, here’s the thing she will lie and lie no matter what to make her self look good and make out like you was at fault. There’s nothing good that can come from you giving her another chance, because it will only happen again and again. Move on and focus on yourself.

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can do better than that

[–]moltenw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The interesting thing here is that even if she is telling the truth (only kissing) , that still is an easy next. You'll never regain back the respect if you take her back, in fact you'll lose even more of it.

The moment your girl doesn't respect you, it is over. She can't love someone she doesn't respect.

[–]Bashnid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Err ... Advice? ... What "advice" do you need exactly?

... Get real dude!

[–]BusterVadge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Block her, and let her pleas and crying fall upon deaf ears.

[–]NextForever0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Ehhh, depends on her level of honesty/integrity and if you are into her. I try to empathize and am personally not phased by infidelity; it's fine that there are more attractive/witty men than myself, nothing I can do about it. As long as it's all straight forward and she gets tested (which heavily disincentives); doesn't matter to me. I'm never getting married and I want a woman able to offer the same compromise, it's only fair.

Take a look at our closest living ancestor, the Bonobo. They are completely peaceful and fuck all day long, friends jerk each other off as casual as playing X-Box. Why should we expect much different with our species?

[–]light-----------dark 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Where can I find friends to jerk me off?

[–]NextForever2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

West Hollywood or San Francisco are good places to start.

[–]tomb5452 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I am right here bruh, say the word

[–]choyze0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A break either means that you're being too overbearing (too clingy, too intrusive) and she needs some space, or that she wants to play the field while keeping you on the hook (like the rest of the replies say).



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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