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What to do when GF goes out on nights out in fairly revealing clothing?

Reddit View
June 22, 2019

So tonight my gf is on a night out with her sister and gay best friend.

I can't help but think her choice of clothes is a little out of order for somebody who isn't single.

Very short dress no bra boobs very visible etc.

I'm wondering how to respond to this. I feel her behaviour is impropriate for a LTR relationship. But at the same time how to approach the situation without coming across as insecure?

You might be reading this thinking that I am insecure and just need to get a grip, girls will be girls, they dress a bit slutty on nights out and that's just the way our over feminised culture has encouraged them. Which is fair enough.

It just puts me on edge. Maybe I just need to man up about it.

Our relationship is highly sexual, she's smitten with me and spoils me with her cooking and surprise dates regularly.

What do you guys think? Should I confront her about it and set some boundaries or just STFU?

Post Information
Title What to do when GF goes out on nights out in fairly revealing clothing?
Author Ravenscar7
Upvotes 87
Comments 99
Date 22 June 2019 12:09 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–]Psychological_Radish186 points187 points  (22 children) | Copy

The medium is the message. She’s advertising her availability by dressing like that. You need to reassess this relationship. She’s either a big attention whore (red flag) or she’s looking for some new dick.

[–]CasaDeFranco133 points134 points  (5 children) | Copy

OP, you gut is saying she is dressing like a whore.

That's probably because she is.

Do not LTR women with gay best friends, gay men are obsequious, promiscuous and statistically likely to be degenerates. You are the company you keep.

[–]loloLogic6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

And there's no guarantee a "gay best friend" won't fuck a woman. My ex was raped by hers and my gay coworker recently told me he was thinking of dating women again in addition to men due to a recent dry spell.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

My ex was raped by hers

That could also be the "Every woman has a 'rape' story" story.

[–]loloLogic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It could be, but this was 2005 before it was the hip thing to do and I believed her. Luckily my current LTR doesn't have a rape story and, interestingly, has a good relationship with her father. The ex did not...

[–]jrr6415sun24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s either a big attention whore

all girls are

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten18 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

Friday night reddit kills me. OP this was written at 9pm or 6pm on a Friday most likely. Who the FUCK is qualified to give advice at the hour they should not be behind a computer?

Yes, girls wear slutty clothes for attention. Duh. That "attention drive" is their equivalent of your sex drive.

Do I want my girl going out every Saturday dressed in "going out clothes" without me? Nah, then she'd be the next girl. But every once in awhile? Sure. Helps remind her how good she's got it with me, and I'm not worried about shit.

[–]Psychological_Radish7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Who the FUCK is qualified to give advice at the hour they should not be behind a computer?

This has got to be one of the silliest rebuttals I've ever read on here. You damn fool, I was up to 3 AM on Thursday banging a new girl, so I stayed in last night and blew off steam replying on askTRP because I was too fucking tired to do anything else.

The rest of your reply is very much the exact opposite of what this forum generally advises. Not only is OP's girl on a "girl's night out" (a red flag in itself), but is dressed in a manner designed to draw attention from men. Seems that your standards are somewhat lax. I recall Rollo Tomassi stating that his wife has been on a girl's night all of three or four times during 20+ years of marriage.

I didn't say OP should immediately next. I said he should reassess the relationship. It goes without saying that only OP can make a decision based on a relationship context that none of us know about.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're right about my tone, not becoming of an EC. Apologies. Was a little low on sleep myself.

That said. This is an interesting debate. Here's my personal take:

Girls hot enough to fuck me are hot enough to fuck anyone. In my view, I want the slutty period to have passed already.

Ipso facto, GNO and their derivatives are only fine with me because I know anyone worthy of my quasi-committed attention are past the need for male attention, and now court it for funsies occasionally. But they're fine with me. Rollo is preaching before's masculinity. Doesn't work anymore.

My OLTR is bi and we share girls, so that may factor into my approach.

[–]Psychological_Radish1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This thread is exhibit A of why an LTR is a waste of mental energy in most cases. I don't have to worry about what (or who) plates or FWBs are doing on a Friday night. OP has himself all in a tizzy over the way some dumb broad is behaving. Most likely this girl is nothing special and wasn't LTR material in the first place. If 80-90% of guys are Betas, then 80-90% of girls are not LTR material and only fit for plating or a FWB type relationship.

Back in the day, it was considered unseemly for a LTR'd girl to go out without her BF/husband. I think one can argue that societal standards have irreversibly deteriorated, but that's missing the forest for the trees. More important is that girls who are happy in their relationships cease to have any interest in "going out." That's as true today as it ever was. Such girls are extremely rare these days, though.

[–]ghjklzxcv123[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are time zones

[–]redvelvet_oreo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But every once in awhile? Sure. Helps remind her how good she's got it with me, and I'm not worried about shit.

I think the point here is that at some point you may need to address it. You dont have to come off insecure but you can tell her you think shes dressing slutty and you dont like it. If she dresses like that with you fine but if shes always doing it will be a problem.

Every kid will try to push the limits with their parents to see how much they can get away with before they get in trouble. This is one of those cases since all girls like dressing like sluts.

I agree once in a while IDGAF but if it becomes a constant thing then im just going to demote her ass or break it off. I think you have to address it at some point but does she RESPECT you enough to comply or does she keep on doing it like you dont matter. That's the real red flag.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Personally I wrote the post between sets at the gym haha. But you're correct the advice on here has seemed a little extreme. She goes out quite rarely and she didn't even get drunk. I talked about it briefly with her and she just said she wears that particular dress because it makes her feel good about loosing weight since its the only size 8 dress she can fit into. Long story short I overreacted.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good attitude. Shit happens glad you took responsibility for overreacting

This is also a great example of why not to follow upvotes, but instead the quality of the contribution. Glad you resolved this

[–]jackandjill221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's probably #1. Some girls aren't intentionally looking to fuck you over they're just passively sluts. It's just how/who they are.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Agreed. She isn't behaving like a girl worthy of an LTR should be. If she can go out dressed like that, surely she won't mind if OP spends time without her hanging out with other girls, which is exactly what he should do.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Guys don’t get it. They wanna talk, they wanna work through it. The keys to successful relationship...1. keep your side of the street clean. 2. stay on point physically (muscular physique), financially, and socially. 3. Speak with your actions and keep your fucking mouth shut. If Your girl crosses a line then remove your effort and attention and re-apply it to improving yourself and/or other women. Other problems might require you fighting fire with fire... but it’s still speaking with actions and not words.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is a good way of putting it.

[–]poemann0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Man that sounds like a lot of work just for an LTR. I completely agree with you, but it puts a sour taste of what an LTR is/its worth in my mouth.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LTRs are nothing but work. It’s life on hard mode. Keeping a woman interested long term and everything you gotta do to ensure that is the entire reason TRP exists.

[–]thy_shall_win1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Talk about jumping the gun a bit. It's most likely because she's an attention whore which 90% of girls are anyway.

[–]ahackercalled4chan120 points121 points  (7 children) | Copy

I feel her behaviour is impropriate for a LTR relationship.

it's not appropriate.

Should I confront her about it and set some boundaries or just STFU?

the boundary should already be set (proactive vs reactive). if you talk about it to her now, it'll just be viewed as unattractive mate-guarding or insecurity.

carry on as normal. demoted to plate if girls' night out becomes a habit.

[–]HighTesticles49 points50 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the best response, by far. Proactive boundaries are the mark of a leader. Reactive hurt feelings are the mark of a bitch.

When things like this happen in a relationship, they shouldn't, because she should be asking you for your approval beforehand. Proper control game should be natural, and therefore, sexy, or at the very least benign. If you're having trouble controlling your bitch then she doesn't care about what you think as much as she should and either you fucked up LTRing her in the first place, or you've slacked off and lost respect.

[–]SidMRP7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

How do you bring stuff up like this proactivly? What if it doesn't ever your mind until the situation presents itself

[–]antariusz6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

When she brings up the fact that you’re going out without her and fucking other women and she wants you to stop doing that is a good time to bring it up.

If she isn’t concerned about you doing that, then you have the OPs problem.

[–]theboldmind4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Could you explain proactive boundaries?

[–]HighTesticles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps I should have said preventative or pre-established boundaries. Basically, the vetting process for having a chance at a successful, but more importantly, enjoyable LTR in the west today is basically just a really patient game of wait and see for a chick that doesn't go around waving giant red flags of issues/baggage/disagreeableness/dishonesty/etc. Taking the time to allow a girl to prove herself in a meaningful way should prevent big, blatantly disrespectful stuff from happening without the assumption that the relationship is to be considered terminated in the process.

IMO it's bad in the west, but there's still girls that are willing to submit to the right an extent that is tolerable by today's western standards (which of course falls very short of "happy lifelong marriage"). Marriage and kids are inconceivable to me now given what I have personally experienced and know to be true in this part of the world. However, if you are going to LTR, your bitch should either know her place or know she's not your bitch.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think I'm going to take the risk and set the boundary now since this is the second time I've been on edge. If she's genuinely looking to move on then I would rather quickly find that out and save time for myself. If she's very apologetic and falls in line then I'll let things things continue the way they are. But she is female so I doubt that's going happen. If she escalates into drama, accuses me of been controlling etc then I have my answer.

[–]Anasthaesium1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read my last comment about boundaries on my comment history

[–]Tchulkaturin-1850 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy

Look at the situation logically. There are two possibilities:

A. You are a stepping stone to her next hypergamous relationship.

B. She is faithful and not planning on leaving you.

If A is true, there is nothing you can do to stop her and bringing it up will only hasten her departure.

If B is true, then bringing it up will only make you look like an insecure fool and create doubt in her mind.

Therefore, in either scenario your best strategy is to keep the (blind) faith and say nothing about it.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 25 points26 points  (12 children) | Copy

Thanks man glad I came here before I said anything to her. I just find it hard since my ex cheated on me really badly. It's hard to trust anyone after what that slag put me through haha.

[–]Tchulkaturin-1850 1 points [recovered]  (11 children) | Copy

It's hard to trust anyone after what that slag put me through haha.

I've been there. You are not alone.

Keep an eye out for telltale signs without actually interrogating her about it. Back in the seventies there was a hit song called Smoke From A Distant Fire. The main lyric was, "Girl, your eyes have a mist from the smoke of a distant fire." Look for that mist in her eyes. If there is a distant fire in her life, you will see it in her eyes.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 8 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy

That metaphor makes sense. I've always had a gut feeling when something isn't right and it's rarely wrong. What kind of specific signs should I look out for though? I've done the cunt thing and looked through her phone recently and found nothing.

She's quite a ditsy girl too tbh so I think she wouldn't be crafty enough to keep a secret like that from me.

[–]Tchulkaturin-1850 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

What kind of specific signs should I look out for though?

Any change in her attitude toward you. Any change in the interest she shows in you. It is a very subjective thing to read women. Personally, I am an empath, so I can feel women pretty strongly, sometimes too much. Reading people is an involuntary process with me.

You wrote this about her though:

she's smitten with me and spoils me with her cooking and surprise dates regularly.

And the fact that you said she is a ditsy girl could mean she isn't so aware of how people around her are perceiving her. You have to make the call though, because you know her best. My hunch (just a guess) is, everything is probably fine. Girls dress sexy for lots of reasons. Some do it just to boost their self-confidence. Some just to look their best. Some out of habit. Keep showing interest in her and I bet she reciprocates. Keeping the love alive is a lot better than showing signs of fear and doubt.

[–]n3n3r33 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Underrated comment right here, everyone’s just jumping the gun saying to abandon ship because the don’t realize that girls dress like a whore for reasons beyond being a whore. Props to you, you actually seem to know what you’re talking about instead of just pretending to know what you’re talking about.

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she dresses like a whore for you and always dresses like a whore, then there is no problem.

It sounds to me, reading OP , that they are in a “comfortable” relationship and she wears the sweats for the OP and other dudes are getting the sexy minidress. And yes, bright colors/red is an important factor. If she’s wearing a red dress going out without you she’s trying EXTRA hard to get attention.

The most important factor is why is the OP sitting at home posting on Reddit while his girlfriend is going out and partying. Why is he the boring safe beta and not the alpha that if not watched like a hawk will go out and get pussy tonight.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She is actually quite insecure about her body. So the need to get attention makes sense. We've been out on nights out together and she's always given guys the cold shoulder.

But I think we're the same because I always know something is wrong with her the second she goes into a mood.

Recently we've had a talk about this because she had changed and I realized it was down to me not giving her enough comfort and acting too much of a stoic arsehole. But this month I've made the effort to be more affectionate and her behaviour is getting better.

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

 -she had changed 

And now she is going out seeking attention dressed like a slut. Not good signs.

[–]flgeo712 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would be very, very careful of it still. My ex would spend a whole week with me in another city where I’m working right now and she was still cheating on me horribly. We would fuck like rabbits and she would genuinely make me feel loved, all the while she was fucking some guy from Europe and talking about marriage with him and shit.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

99% of the time you should trust your gut. Is she is going out advertising her body, wether she is ovulating or not, can only be because there is a need for her to advertise her body. Either way, you are not enough for her if she needs exterior validation, or if she needs to advertise her boobs for some dicking.

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls will use apps like Snapchat and even delete the app when they aren’t actively using it so that is no guarantee.

Women are way smarter than getting caught using the default messaging app.

They might only talk about ho things with their ho friends in person, or only talk their ho activities over video chat so there is no record, but believe me, they talk about it somewhere.

If you have zero evidence of gossip and drama, that is a big red flag, because all girls talk about gossip and drama all day every day, it’s how they survive, so she’s doing it covertly, and you need to assess yourself to figure out why she isn’t bothering you with the non-stop drama about whose fucking who on a day to day basis.

[–]ScratchinCommander 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

that's some very basic game theory right there, and not PUA game, the legit Nash type

[–]masterpiece009 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing -- she's going out to attract an alpha, it's someone else's turn.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

It just puts me on edge.

Because you think she's in there sucking 5 guys dicks in the bathroom? That's just how girls work. You know this, you're in the red pill part of the internet. I personally assume that when a girl is not in my sight, she's getting railed by half the population of the area. They're all hoes. All of them. (Not actually, but this is the mindset). Ok. Just accept it. Allow it to be. Don't be reactive. Who even cares if she walks out? You don't. She's just a hoe. You can replace her with another hoe. There are no soul mates. Your life is structured so it doesn't matter if she leaves.

If you want an LTR, yes this is inappropriate behaviour, so you should create competition anxiety by spending a little more time with other plates and less time with her. If she leaves because of that, then she wasn't what you wanted anyway.

Also, the fact that she is doing this is an indicator of a lack of frame. Read "How To Dominate Women" by Gary Brodsky. It gives you an internal frame that is easy to exert.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dgaf. This is a red flag her going out dolled up WITHOUT you.

If more red flags show next her and move on

Abundance mentality remember? Always have other options for you to jump ship as she does to swing branches

girls will be girls

BP coping right there. Girls nights out are for girls to litmus test their SMV to see if they are still competitive and see what they would get if they were single right now

I hope this is just a FWB or plate cause if an LTR is pulling this shit it means its going down like the titanic

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I'll be vigilant from now on.

[–]SuperCrazy0721 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

Paraphrasing a bit, but the best advice I’ve seen to this type of question is:

“Be so mother fucking awesome she’s terrified of losing you because you could replace her within a week.”

Be that guy and you won’t be worried about this type of shit.

[–]masterpiece0014 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it's past that, she's comfy and knows OP's beta traits.

[–]McDrMuffinMan3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then it's time for OP to improve.

Lift, and practice on your game. Find your drive.

[–]infamous323834 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don’t be an insecure bitch about it. Remember if she’s going to cheat, she’ll cheat, nothing you can do to stop her.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't worry I know that. Cruel truth but the truth.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Cuck mentality

[–]infamous32380 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

More like I don’t give a fuck mentality. Obviously if she cheats, she’s gone.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

More like I don’t give a fuck mentality

They're only 2 steps away from each other, neither term adequately describes how a man should act.

[–]JedYorks14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just do her gay friend to get back at her

[–]SlyAM1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You had me geekin, truly the best advice

[–]throwitdownman11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

The biggest issue here is not that she is clubbing, is that she is not inviting YOU with her, for YOU to see her in revealing clothing.

Honestly you and her are both too young for a relationship. She wants to feel young, feel sexy and get attention. Which she can and should, as her SMV peaks early. She’s not doing it maliciously, she just has not experienced enough, and wants the shiny apple.

These are all not optimal qualities to have in an LTR. And honestly, for most women if she has never experienced being sexy on a night out, she will always crave it no matter your frame.

I used to go on night outs all the time. Every girl I’ve seen WANTS to have fun - to flirt, to dance, to grind, or even more. You’re not a fool, your gut is already telling you something is off, you know exactly why she’s doing all this.

[–]Qba19940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, but what can you give her that is different than all the other guys? I mean should I be the channel of appreciating her sexuality?

[–]Protocol_Apollo12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should have vetted her better for gf material

Don’t LTR club sluts

[–]Anasthaesium0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can’t upvote this enough

[–]A-Merks-ican4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

When my lady goes out, you can be sure she doesn't dress like that. Now, this isn't because of my demand she dress proper, this is just how she is. She's all in. I didn't know what a healthy level of reciprocal respect looked like until I met her. She taught me that every woman I've been with before her didn't give a damn about me. This one shows me in ways that she would view as mundane. If your girl goes out dressing like she's single and ready and not wondering how you'd feel about it first, I would be concerned.

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The women didn’t change, and you don’t have a unicorn you yourself have changed.

[–]A-Merks-ican1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You may be right.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It could be her, too. Maybe she got older, or was looking to lock someone down, so her behaviours changed.

I've seen this with girls as they cross the 30-year mark. They go from slutty dresses, and partying, to conservative outfits, learning to cook, getting a pet, etc. She'll also be super-submissive, doing whatever you want in bed. It's all done to suck you into commitment. Girls aren't dumb, they know how to play, especially if they're past the mid-20s.

In OP's case, she's definitely still in shopping mode. The only thing he can do is open the lines with other girls, because she sure wants to be open to other guys. Depending on how things go, he should also reduce commitment from LTR to FWB perhaps. If she wants to go, let her go, don't burn bridges, and plate her if she tries to connect in the future.

The problem is not with her shopping, but with you giving her commitment while she does. There's a loss of respect. You don't have other girls around, which makes you easy to control, and she'll see you as a cuckold. The message she's getting is that you're okay with being committed to her, and her getting attention from other guys. And, being a girl, she'll push the boundaries further by talking to other guys, then it's meeting with guy "friends", and soon she's getting train wrecked by 20 guys, while you watch.

Obviously, jealousy and mateguarding isn't good. At the same time though, you shouldn't let her play you like a damn fool.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What to do when plate goes out on nights out in fairly revealing clothing?

there. Fixed it for you. U should never ltr girls like this.

[–]dojurynullification2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to pull some proper women in gay clubs. They'd get drunk and I was the only straight guy there...

[–]GooeyLoveJuice3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You fucked up promoting her to LTR without setting proper expectations and boundaries.

Get real.

Soft demote and fuck other women.

[–]s96g3g23708gbxs867342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let her go. Do you care? No

[–]AccomplishedEase2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf these responses.

Girls crave attention just like guys crave sex.

But attention isnt shamed by society when in relationship but sex with other ppl is.

With girls its even stronger because they have no "own" values, just values society told them.


She is not yours its just your turn.

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I agree. Now her going out clubbing without you might be a red flag but what difference does it make what clothes she wears?

[–]CMDaccounting2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you can’t handle a bad bitch don’t date her

[–]mindplaybyneo4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

This guy just literally had the same question. Read all the comment, and you will see the kings perspective. A few female perspective too. Don’t ask, but keep the red flag in mind. Namaste kings

[–]oldertybasterd1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What do they say? I don’t have a Instagram account and can’t see comments

[–]MillionaireSexbomb4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wouldn’t worry about it, it’s all low class trash commenting. If your girl is going out dressed as provocatively as possible and you’re not with her at any point, she’s not doing it for you. Act accordingly. Date someone who dresses more conservatively when she’s not with you and if she’s gonna wear something like this, ideally it’s for you when you go out together to give you a tease .

[–]oldertybasterd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I dont have instagram and didn’t want to make an account to see the comments but this makes sense

[–]antariusz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your relationship dynamic could very much be beta bucks to her.

Beta bucks have sex too, many women actually give betas LOTS of sex and attention when trying to secure commitment/marriage. The problem is that once they have it, all effort disappears. Attraction is different than arousal. She goes out dressed like a slut because she wants to be aroused and arouse other men. You might be the most attractive man in the world, but if she thinks you are safe to leave by yourself while she goes out to party with other men, then you are 100% not arousing to her.

In a LTR, ideally, she would not want to go out without you because she SHOULD think that if she leaves your side for the entire night you’re going to go out and fuck another woman. Why are you sitting at home while she is doing exciting fun things without you. You have dread, when instead she is the one that needs to be feeling dread.

You seriously need to rethink LTR’ing this woman. Even if you think everything is great, she’s giving you plenty of warning signs in your gut. Heed those warnings.

[–]Tall-Dark-And-Hungry1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what worked for me when I first started dating my ex-LTR. Our relationship sounded very similar.. very attracted to me, highly sexual etc..

She went out with her friends wearing a a very thin see through black shirt with a bright pink bra (she has 32DD's btw). We had just started dating at that point. The problem was I never seen her wear that for me. I had to see it via SnapChat so I was definitely bitter. But I composed myself and spoke to her about it. Taking things more serious between us was her idea but she would always resent me for being a bartender at a night club where my abundance mentality was always naturally high. Anyways I spoke to her about it and mentioned that if we were to take things more serious than I don't take you serious wearing things that you know garner the wrong attention. It was a long talk but I kept frame throughout and spoke clearly and calmly. I was definitely very arrogant with my approach (which I don't know worked or not but I was a lot newer to RP) and already sympathized with her childish behavior of attention grabbing from people by explaining just that to her. We continued to date for another 1.5 years and I promise you I never had an instance like that again. I could say a lot more but I know that every girl and situation is different to a certain degree.

Here's the take away: Dynamic and Expectations.

Dynamic, dynamic. What's your dynamic like? You have to subjectively look at your relationship and see where you are on the larger scale of things. You need to know how strong your frame is in the relationship and know how much you can say to her without sounding a certain way. If you have established rock solid frame then you can say certain things without her questioning or second guessing any inferior/weak/beta feelings for you. If it's the latter, then it just further fuels a flame that you two aren't right for each other and she will continue to parade herself. Is this a repeated issue? Is this the first time something like this has happened? Understand what one of the commenter's said where Medium is the Message. Actions > Words.

Expectations. Supposed you decide to say something and she goes "well too bad, it's my body, my choice!" Are you prepared to demote? Walk away? Double down? Make sure you know the answer to this before proceeding. Understand what you want out of this relationship at this moment. If you decide to NOT say anything and continue on... you're going to be bitter. Everyone knows this already because then you wouldn't even make this post if you wouldn't be.

You're going to be affected by the outcome so looks like the rational outcome is to logically compose yourself and speak to her or demote/walk away.

Happy hunting,


[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So if you were just plating 3-4 girls and not LTRing one, you wouldn't have this problem at all.

Is there some reason you didn't go with them? I mean other than it would be Boring.As.Fuck for a straight guy, given the lineup?

[–]GazeAtFlames2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends bro. Most of the guys here miss the mark. If you set the right frame(you being the leader), and you've been in a LTR with her for say more than 6 months, you should definitely put your foot down. The way you do this depends on numerous factors, like relationship dynamics, how submissive she is, whether you life in the west, etc.

She's certainly aware of what's going on. And there's a chance she'll think less of you if you don't bring it up and "put her in place", so to speak,

Generally, in a social context;

what is obvious to us, is glaringly apparent to women

What is subtle to us, is apparent to them

What is barely existent/noticable to us, is just *subtle to women.*

So you should just mention it in a nonchalant manner. She'll get it. But if she plays dumb, you can get more specific. Just don't sound butthurt or defensive. The furthest you should go is saying "A girl I'm in a committee relationship with, doesn't dress like that, especially when I'm not around" in a serious, but relaxed manner.

If she bluffs and plays dumb, don't react. Ghost her for a few days. Wait for her to initiate contact, cuz she will. She'll probably decide to straighten her act, so don't bring it up again.

Now, if she tries to create drama and get in an argument over it, wait for her to calm down, pretend to check your phone, and just say, "something came up, I have to go" and leave. This'll send her hamster spinning. Then you can ghost her for a few days until she initiates contact and/or apologizes. Odds are, she'll straighten her act after this. Again, if she does, don't bring it up. Just act like nothing happened and you really were busy for those few days.

The scenarios above are extreme cases. If you've set the frame, and been together for several months, no problems should arise. Good luck

[–]mickJagermeisterr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't bring it up, but keep an eye out for more red flags. She might be looking to branch swing. I don't think I would end the relationship over a choice of clothing.

[–]DiskKiller21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

An attention whore isn’t necessarily a whore. For some girls, their looks are their entire identity and they need the attention. This of course isn’t a good thing either, but still better than cheating. If this is the first time she goes out like this, it sounds like trouble.

[–]SolidLiquidGasPlasma1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Uh why do you care what she wears she’s a girl she’s hot. Girl hot girl dress hot girl hot

[–]cafeitalia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably she is in her early 20s at the prime of her promiscuous being and you are seeing her as your gf? This is the mistake. Demote her to plate and just have fun.

[–]Thinkingard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OP are you one or two SMV points higher than her? If she’s equal or greater then you know she’s a slut bc your relationship is primarily sexual. Does she dress like this all the time when you go out? It’s unfortunately a red flag.

[–]ranchosteve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pictures would help asses the situation, asking for friend.

[–]NOWIFE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My dude, You must get the laws down before engaging in any interactions with a woman. You Must understand these Quick points into to their behaviors. You're welcome.

1) Understand Briffault's law and the levels of hypergamy.

2) Understand Sexual Market Value -its history and where it is today. I like coachredpill. Great videos.

3) know that AWALT

Good Luck.

[–]frick-a-frack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The answers are all over the place but not necessarily wrong.

My issue would be.... does she get dolled up regularly? Does she get dolled up for me? If yes, then this is her thing.

If no, then why is she willing to look like she wants to fuck for everyone BUT me, and that would be the red flag.

As others have said..... is she still fucking and sucking the cum out of your balls regularly? If so, things are probably ok. If she was but no longer is after this outing, that’s a bad sign. If she has stopped before this outing, also a bad sign.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel her behaviour is impropriate for a LTR relationship.

That's because she's not in a LTR. You might be, but she isn't.

You might be reading this thinking that I am insecure and just need to get a grip, girls will be girls, they dress a bit slutty on nights out and that's just the way our over feminised culture has encouraged them. Which is fair enough.

No, I'm thinking your GF is about to branch swing

What do you guys think? Should I confront her about it and set some boundaries or just STFU?

It's open relationship time. She's there, why won't you?

[–]loloLogic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just a heads up, I had an ex that was raped by her "gay bf". Don't trust them.

[–]A_Group_of_Crows0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm in a LTR and the way I see it, I don't really care if she goes out with the girls.

I've even encouraged her to go, but I will go to parties without her and I don't really care if she cheats because I will end the relationship the instant I find out.

I will then go out and fuck as many girls as I can and she knows or at least thinks I can because I'm in good shape, I'm funny, and charming. She even knows that I sometimes hang out with a girl I used to fuck.

Adopt this mentality friend and you'll have nothing to worry about.

[–]Eulerbrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s looking for her new alpha

[–]Eminencemiddle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do not confront. Get ready, because soon she will dump you. Keep her till you have at least 2 more replacements available.

BTW, if you are living with her, end that situation pronto.

[–]caralto0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Put a buttplug in her. Every hour it will become more uncomfortable. She'll soon come home to you lol.

Since it looks like you will be replaced shortly, I say use this time wisely and do the most fucked up depraved sexual things you wish to her before you can't. E.g. want your asshole frenched out -- you tell her to do it, want to piss in her mouth, do it, want to spit on her face, do it. You may never get these chances again, and if you kind of know she about to go on the cock carousel, as least you've kicked her down a few steps lol.

[–]GGrub8-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

The "gay best friend" is also a red flag.

Either he's not that gay and will fuck your girl if he gets the chance ("Oops we were both drunk and it just happened!") or he's her wingman.

As others have said, confrontation is pointless. If she keeps this up punish her with attention and affection withdrawal and if things don't change then silently demote her to plate.

[–]Ravenscar7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's a balding dany divito with the campest accent in the world. They've been friends since childhood so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

[–]zxcvb7809-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you a betting man?

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro why’d you make her your girlfriend when you coulda had all that without the title lol

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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